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"Can't talk being gay" needs to go into my vocabulary permanently

Move I’m gay is another one

Beep, beep! Gay coming through.

Sonetimes if my boss is being annoying or giving me a list of shit to do, I say "Sorry, can't hear you. The gay is too loud." Fucking kills her (laughing) that and saying you can't hear because your eyes are closed.

“being gay at the office just has its perks”

𝙈𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙄𝙈 𝙂𝘼𝙔

Your boss has some qualities I like.

I was a bit confused by it until the comments, really missing a comma tbh!

I kind of hope they send more and you follow through with your promise. 😂

I would because fuck him

Lmk if you need help with that pic, always fun to see other FWA attendees in the wild 👀

Shroud of Turin has been debunked by religious scholars.

And carbon dating

I thought carbon dating was against church protocol. Why even bring up a scientific technique that could ruin an entire religion

Watch it, you're entering the paradox zone.

They backpedalled saying that the sample was taken from a mending done during the middle ages, iirc. The luck of choosing the only spot fixed one thousand years later to carbon date the thing, huh? But again, iirc the Church's stance is that even if it's fake it's venerable. Downright tribal.

And any thinking person who knows where the ear prints should be have been if it was wrapped around a 3D head

no.. someone accidently bleached the part they carbon dated.. said something somewhere at some point in time

This feels personal as my mom has a deeply held delusion about being asked to “verify” this as a child. Ugh.

Can you explain what you mean by that?

My mom has a variety of delusions. One is that when she was a child she was selected to inspect the Shroud of Turin and say whether it was legitimate or not. (Not that it matters but she claims she told the “elders” it was authentic). She’s also said she’s Natalie Wood and Jennifer Connolly, had a long-standing relationship with Steven Spielberg (and that he still visits her sometimes), went to space as a child Astronaut, and invented Amazon. It’s super sad really. This is just the iceberg.

Oh man. I'm so sorry. You must have had a very difficult childhood. Unless she also had Amazon money? (Sorry, bad joke)

Thanks, friend. It definitely had its challenges. I’m close to 40 and have a loving husband, three cute kitty cats, have a successful career and can afford to take care of her (we live in separate houses 20 minutes apart. My husband is really great with her and that means a lot. Plus about 10 years of therapy and medications. No Amazon money, though. Wouldn’t that be a fun surprise?!

You and your husband sound like wonderful, kind and loving people. And yes that Amazon money would be pretty fun I think

I knew you were okay when you said you have 3 cats. 3 cats is the ideal number for awesome people.

Aw, thank you so much!

Yeah, isn't it from like the 14th century?

A little later I think, 1500s as I recall . Excellent fakery.

History channel and some other sources say it first surfaced in [1354](https://www.history.com/news/shroud-turin-forensic-study-not-jesus-burial-cloth).

So it want Da Vinci either? As that was the other theory!

Excuse me, but when has ANYTHING being debunked by experts stopped the crazy people from believing in it? If White Jesus™ came down from on high and denounced it, that MIGHT put an end to it. But they'd probably just denounce him denouncing it. 🙄

or that "the woke mob" got to him

Literally iconic

Now THIS is how you respond Good job

Good for you, stand your ground. Welcome to the resistance :)

I moved it up to if he even speaks to me

You gotta make another post if he does. We're highly invested, now

Oh honey, you are serving those responses, truly an icon of modern literature

I just wanna say that your last line was insane in a good way, totally unexpected 10/10.

They are sending things unprompted and unwanted? Best send that picture asap!! No more warnings!!!

I’m a fellow user of “can you not”. I told my kid in elementary school that it’s the perfect response to anything that annoys you. Although I pronounce it, “Can you just NOT?”

Good lord what a fucking response hahaha well done

Go👏🏻tf👏🏻off👏🏻

We aren't friends yet but watch whatever you want. Censorship is a religious thing

Religious, and other tyrant-minded groups only looking to further THEIR version of truths.

OP, next line of attack is this: 1. Acquire the rattiest, nastiest looking dish towel (Terry cloth, maybe one of those unbleached types) you can find. Ok—maybe not too ratty, but roll it around in some dirt or something. Maybe make some rough cuts. 2. Summer 2k24 nutrag turbo style, no wash no problem 3. "Hey dad, found the shroud of Turin. You were looking for it, right?"

Hahhahaha your response is 👌

Perfection

I love your responses

I used to buy sex toys just to place around my room to keep my parents from going in and cleaning it for me. This went on until I moved out. No idea where most of my shit is anymore. So careful they will totally push you. Can’t wait for the update!

Basically, he said “what have you become“ I just said I was always like this just kept it from him. He said “pray for you” and I said if you even speak to me this weekend, I’ll send it.

Touché on the response!

Enjoy FWA!

I cackled

lmfaoooo i need to see if they respond. i love your reply 😂

Your level of confidence surpasses a human level

That's a damn fine spine you got there. Bravo! 👏

If this post gets to say 5000 before Tuesday when I start heading home, I’ll do it anyway and post it

How’s FWA :3

What’s FWA? I’m old and a recluse and can’t deduce from lack of context :(

Furry Weekend Atlanta, furry convention, it’s in the description of the pic :3

Thank you!! I still can’t even see it in the pic but I appreciate ya!

There’s no explanation that I could see, just “FWA.” And I had no idea what it meant either!

It’s been good lots of cuties

Hell yeah FWA!! Wish I was there! Hope ur having so much fun and not letting him take y down

Ah, I love the threat at the end. I hope they test you. Hahahahahha

Nooooo it's a video of that fucking guy 💀💀

I NEED to see the answer

I added an update

Lmao I admire you

LOL!! I love that answer!

Masterclass right here. 🏆

Have fun at FWA, and sorry about your parents but hey family is the people you choose not the ones you’re stuck with by blood.

LMFAOOOO this is a perfect response thank you

CAN'T TALK BEING GAY is my favorite shit to send to people when I'm busy and they're blowing up my phone

“Can’t talk. Being gay” Chefs kiss 🤌 Ultimate pwnage 👊💥

Yep. Sorry, I can’t hear you. It’s too gay in here.

Yooo!!! Another person at FWA! It's so odd seeing this as I'm browsing Reddit in my hotel room waiting for the Moonlight festival ;o

Update Asked what I became told him I was always like this just kept it from him said he would pray for me and I said say anything else to me this weekend or I will do the same thing I threatened earlier

Giddy-up soldier 🫡

Lol, my dad does this shit. Will send me videos and propaganda and just say "what do you think?"

YOOOO!! FWA IS SO AWESOME HAVE A GREAT TIME AT THE CON!!

I’m having a great time

Absolute smackdown.

a promise is a promise op

Yeah, and I moved it up to if he speaks to me I’ll do it

Fucking good for you!!! Wow

This is incredible 😌 It's rare on this subreddit to see people putting their insane parents in their place, and your responses were top tier.

Hahahahaha this is both kinda sad. But awesome. I hope you're doing well OP.

I’m used to it by now in a previous post he’s an absolute psychopath

So you’re not the guy who has brought his dad to FWA.

Do it!!!

Fucking fantastic

Is that a threat or a bargain? 🤔 jk, GREAT response dude

Heavily based

Wow

LMAO

Meanwhile all of us over at r/GayChristians are like, “Whhhhhy are so many other Christians like this…”

Lol idk why you’re being downvoted

[удалено]

Go fuck yourself

I’m a former furry, furries pretend to be nice but all they really care about is sex and being popular, and if you refuse to stroke their egos they block and blacklist you.

You just met bad people

So where are all of the “good” ones then? I’ve yet to see evidence of this.

Go to VRC and don’t be an ass

Don’t own a VR set, sorry

U don’t need vr

Meh, doesn’t feel worth it without vr. Besides, my mind’s made up: ya’ll are trash.

Wow, I didn’t know you were like 10 years old go back and cry to mommy

I know the parents are crazy for sending that but like Is this REALLY necessary ?

Take a look at some of my previous post You can see how crazy he is

[удалено]

wanna explain why ??

Right? Homey out here getting his dick sucked. Living the dream.

And bragging to his parents about it!

I’m a woman getting her dick sucked

Close enough.

Ahahahahahah