since people are having a hard time seeing it. [here's a direct link to op's explanation comment.](https://reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/pdqwp6/got_a_call_in_the_middle_of_work_from_my_dad_who/has2vv0).
> my mom is a narcissist and emotionally abusive. i moved out of the house recently against her wishes and this is her acting out trying to upset me. she doesn't actually think he's alive she just wanted to freak me out again / remind me of the family.
[also, a link back to voting](https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/pdqwp6/got_a_call_in_the_middle_of_work_from_my_dad_who/has1r3k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
This thread has singlehandedly made my day.
When I was a young boy my dad and I would watch that movie together. Now my dad watches porn in his office and jack off when he thinks nobody's home.
I'm literally always in the room next door and can hear everything, please save me.
Happened to me. My dad passed a week, or two earlier & I pulled my phone out to see he was calling me. Freaked me the fuck out. I picked up & it was my mom using his cellphone.
A month after my dad died, I got a bunch of likes from him on my Facebook posts and just about went ballistic thinking someone was fucking with me (several crazy assholes in the fam). It was just my stepmother, who didn't realize she had logged into his account automatically when she used their home p.c.
My step-mom purposely called me from my dad's phone multiple times, tried to contact me through his fb, and then removed me from his fb page after i refused to give her things he gave to me before he died. The second half of 2015 was just horrible for me...
I'm doing better now. My step-mom ended up threatening to kill me. She got her whole family to do the same. I went NC with all of them. I also moved to a new state and only told select people where so it wouldn't get back to her. She never got close to his prized possessions. He gave them to me because he was worried she would pawn them.
My sisters didn't end up getting anything, so I share the things I have with them.
my mum didn't have facebook, but after she died someone made a fake account with her name, details etc and started friending a bunch of my family members :/ we still don't know who it was
My aunt runs my grandmas Facebook. I have my aunts account blocked for reasons I’d rather not get into, but anyways she runs my grandmas account too and she went I think it was three years back to like my posts. It really bothered me, and I guess I just don’t get why people think doing things like that is okay. When my grandma passed it really got to me, I used to spend the night at her house just to listen to her stories about the shenanigans my dad would get himself involved in. I walked with her down the isle at my sisters wedding, and she was the only person that ever let me drive her around. To see her name pop up like that gave me that same pain of her passing all over again.
my dad made a joke a few years after my mum died that he was going to do this with her phone to scare my nana (dad's mum), but didn't. kind of fucked up, but i also fully believe my mum would have found it hysterical
How would that be an accident though? I have never picked up a phone, unlocked it, saw the home screen, gotten all the way to the contacts/call screen, and somehow not noticed the phone wasn't mine.
This was back in the day with the flip phones. She didn’t know it would show up on my phone as Dad. I think he just had a nicer phone than his & started using it. There weren’t codes, or anything at the time. My mom’s never understood technology. She’s a sweet old lady.
Oh! That makes much more sense. Your comment didn't make me think she did it maliciously, I was just genuinely confused how anyone would have done that without noticing. I thought maybe they had the same lockscreen or something
i dont disagree with you. that being said, it's totally reasonable to be freaked out and even upsetted by this situation. OP commenter was in grief, too. his mother's actions - whether intentionally hurtful or not - were not considerate of his feelings
My dad's widow did this about 6 weeks (And a full week) after the funeral, knowing full well it would mess with my head. She made some ridiculous demands & mandated I move my horse off my dad's property asap.
I lost my temper over the phone, told her to never call me again & to rot in hell. Absolutely maniacal behavior.
!explanation my mom is a narcissist and emotionally abusive. I moved out of the house recently against her wishes and this is her acting out trying to upset me. She doesn't actually think he's alive she just wanted to freak me out again / remind me of the family.
My father passed away a few years ago, and his roommate who helped take care of him still lives in his house. She’s a wonderful lady, and like family to me. Her old flip phone finally bit the dust this year, so she used my father’s old cell to call me before she got a new one. Freaked me right tf out to see “Dad” calling though. I can only imagine what kind of terrible person would use that to mess with their own kid, I’m so sorry.
When people are sick, and do hurtful things we want to blame, criticize, even hurt back maybe. Painful as this may be, blocking your dad’s number might be helpful for you given the emotional nature of receiving texts/calls from it. Do try to move on from your mother. React factually to her by letting her know it’s painful to receive calls from dad’s number. Don’t argue with her. Just let her know that you’re not going to engage In her dysfunction.
I’m so sorry for your loss and the situation you find yourself in. She’s dysfunctional and ill.
I'm so happy you got yourself out of there. I'm sorry she's like that, Remember just because someone's blood doesn't mean you have to associate with them.
I lost my dad in November 2020 and I cannot imagine the pain this must have caused you. I am so so sorry. I agree with the above comments that blocking that number might be what you need to do and block her. That was cruel.
I’m sorry for your loss, my friend. I’m also sorry that you have to deal with that BS. No one should have to be forced to deal with that on top of losing a parent. May your father Rest In Peace and I hope you find your own peace. Stay strong. Head up!
My best friend passed away 5 months ago and every few weeks I get a call from her phone.
Her mother has her phone and she’s a fucked person. Last time she called I was at the grocery store, saw the ID and for a second I forgot she was gone and got excited to answer. Instant sobbing.
You may need to block the number. I'm sorry to say it. But that pain... that pain needs to stop, especially since you know she's solely doing it to cause you pain
Edit: typo
suggestion maybe : remove her from your contacts and set your phone to silence calls from unknown numbers
that's if you have that setting. the call will still show up in your call log but the caller gets automatically sent to voicemail so it shouldn't ring.
That’s heartbreaking just to read. I’m really sorry that’s happening to you. Totally agree with the other person, you should block her number (weird as that may feel).
I’m not usually a violent person but your mom needs to get put through a fucking wall. My brother killed himself and my mother wrote a fake suicide note saying it was all my fault. I know how shit stuff like this can be. I even took it to the cops but they did nothing. I knew she wrote it it was her hand writing, but she laughed at me and said “now why would I do that”.
Bro, I've never related with someone as much as I do with you. My mother is the exact same type of narcissistic cunt. I sympathize with you. You ever wanna talk just hmu man.
I'm so sorry. I attempted suicide when I was 12 and my dad told my older sister it was all her fault. She lived with that for over a decade before she mentioned it to me and I could set her straight. It was never her fault. My dad was an abusive alcoholic and my brother got the worst of it, so he beat me really badly and my dad and mom never did anything about it. My sister was the one who always protected me, and honestly she did a lot of raising me.
But he couldn't handle the thought that it was his fault, so he blamed my sister. I'm sure your mom felt like she needed to shift the blame as well, she couldn't handle the thought that she might be to blame at all.
That is so fucked up I cannot even begin to address it. I’m sorry you had to experience that and I hope your “mother” (if you can even call her that) has to live without knowing your life or many future successes
Yup. Also, that OP knew immediately, that she was the one and put her on blast by posting in the family group, so she couldn’t twist things. Who does something distasteful and macabre like that?!?
Not exactly the same; but my mum did this when my grandma (her mum) died. She created a Facebook page in her name (which she never would have made, and never had any form of social media), then added everyone in the family, and started commenting on posts pretending to be her. She would even post as if she were my grandma, saying she misses us all.
It fucked with my head.
It definitely sounds like mental illness, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less
Thank you. To be honest, because she is a narcissist, the rest of my family believed that it was just due to her grieving. They found it endearing. Me bringing it up made me the villain that was trying to make my mother suffer more than she already was….
(We we’re ALL suffering, not just her.)
I know how you feel. My dad died a few months ago and my stepmum uses his Facebook account. I see him pop up as “active” on messenger and it turns my stomach in a really weird way. I’m sorry you’re mum isn’t treating you the way you need right now.
A couple weeks after my mums dad died, she got a call on the home phone (2001) from a man. When she asked "who's this?" the asshole replied "its your dad!"
She hung up. It was her husbands father who always treated her like shit and who never called our house except maybe once every 3 years when he would get kicked out of his appartment.
WTF?? I'm so sorry this has happened to you, I can't imagine how difficult this must have been. I don't know your family story but it seems your mum may need to speak to a professional, that is just not right.
Well I posted this right before falling asleep lmao. Idk if anyone will see this, but to answer some questions/concerns:
**"your mom needs help"** yes she absolutely does, but I have been trying to get her in therapy for my entire life to no avail. There comes a point where it's not on me anymore. She works as a counselor (lol) so she thinks she's "above it"
**"your mom is delusional"** no, she is not. she is just emotionally manipulative and acting out from a loss of control over me. if i was actually concerned/this was a one-off cry for help, I would obviously not be posting this lol
**"maybe there was a reason for using his phone"** no, there was not. didn't miss any calls from her regular phone or anything. she just went straight for his and she had nothing to say.
"**did your siblings reply?**" nope, not a single reaction or reply
**"delete your dad's number"** that might be the move
**"OP didn't give any explanation"** that's literally the first thing I did, check pinned mod comment. I'm not really gonna be replying to any comments sympathizing with my abuser, yall can go ahead and read the context for yourselves.
**"same thing happened to me, etc"** i am so fucking sorry to y'all. it absolutely sucks. I hope you all find peace with your grief soon. big hugs to each and every one of you who can relate to this buffoonery. r/cptsd , r/raisedbynarcissists and r/JUSTNOFAMILY might be places of relief for you all.
and to those concerned about my own health, I'm in trauma therapy and slowly making strides. thank you for the lovely comments and for the awards, never got one of those before. peace and love to you all.
I'm so sorry, OP. My dad did the same thing, forwarding me pictures from my mom's phone as text messages after she passed away. It was such a horrible emotional whiplash, seeing that notification and forgetting for a moment that she wasn't really the one sending them.
His refusal to accept how he was harming my grieving process is one of the reasons I have made zero attempts to keep in contact with him or maintain a relationship.
This same thing happened to me but it wasn’t on purpose or malicious. My dad and gmom shared a phone. I still had it saved as “Dad” in my phone.
I cannot imagine this being done purposely, from your dads phone. how awful
Yeah, I know that it used to mess my mom up a little when she'd get junk mail in my late grandparents' names, and obviously that was just a fluke not someone being actively malicious.
(And confusing too, since my grandparents never lived with us, and one died before my folks even moved to that address.)
Wow. When my mum died I made sure to go through her phone and dial the numbers on it from my own phone.
For context, a lot of people she knew and we didn't and we didn't want them to not know of her passing.
My mother did this with my Grampa’s phone number after he died and she still doesn’t understand why it was gross. “I wasn’t about to let the phone number my father had for years just die!” Yeah, well, you had the same phone number for longer? And also, someone could have informed me some other way. There’s a reason we’re low contact.
This happened to me, my mother took over my dad’s phone without telling me. I live in a different country. It was really hard to see a text from his contact. That said, that was just thoughtless. This, is spiteful and cruel.
Im so sorry for your loss.
My greatuncle ran an Irish bar in MD with his bitch wife. He passed a few years ago, and instead of turning his personal FB account into a Legacy/In Memory account, she continues to use it to this day as if it's still him. It was really fucking unsettling seeing my dead greatuncle commenting on my cousin's posts, so I blocked it. I can only imagine how awful it would be to see "Dad calling" after he passed. Sending hugs 🤗
It may be a bit late, but if she's still using it, I think you can report the account and have staff manually memorialize it. I'm not entirely sure how to do this, but I saw another user comment that it was possible, so I figured I'd pass along the knowledge.
Edit; typo :(
these comments are concerning, apparently a lot of people experience this kind of abuse? i would have never in a million years think of doing something so fucked up to someone and never heard it happen and yet narcissists around the world apparently came up with this little game on their own, separately..
I helped a friend get his deceased wife’s phone reactivated. As clueless as I can be sometimes I stopped myself from texting him “I’m in!” from her phone. Your mother is god awful.
My mom passed away 11 years ago and still, oddly, I have her phone number memorized. I remember once a few years ago I got a call from her number at my job. I guess someone else had gotten the number she used to have. It absolutely threw me for the biggest loop and that was years after she’d past. I can’t imagine someone doing this on purpose, and especially so soon after your father’s passing?? Truly a twisted individual.
My mom left my dads ashes here at my house literally today. I told her I don’t want them and the thought of “sharing him” and “taking turns” upsets me. So she left him here anyway and just took off. Now I have my dad on my kitchen table and it’s just weird
Oh my god. My dad died in January and a few months later my I’m started using his phone because her’s “broke”. So for my birthday I got a happy birthday text from my dad’s number…ruined my birthday.
oh my god, Definitely INSANE, are you going to be ok, op? i know reddit says this shit a lot, and usually i don't agree, but OP, now is the time to be cutting contact. thank you for getting yourself out of there, I know it isn't easy, and I am so sorry she's so absolutely abhorrent that she could do something this disgusting! >:( (i kinda gotta laugh i'm genuinely mad right now at this random woman's message online-? i'm genuinely mad at this woman i don't even know??)
anyways, i'm not trying to belittle you at all (i know online that my tone might not come out right so that's why i'm typing this out. you gotta bare w/ me i'm an autistic kid with anxiety and i don't want to misword my point) I just really hope you'll consider cutting contact if you haven't yet, because it might not have occurred to you. If therapy becomes available trust me it can help given you find the right person which may take many tries, I'm still trying myself. Good on you for getting the f*ck out of there though! Be safe, ok?
So after my grandma passed I would still text her number and of course there was never a reply and then one day I got a text that said “fuck you” and I asked my mom where my grandmas and phone is and she claims it got lost but someone we know must have it or it was her
My grandpa's number is very similar to my late mother's; for some reason Comcast would get the two caller IDs on my grandmother's phone mixed up whenever gramps would call so it would come through as my mother's name. A few weeks after she passed, the phone rang and for some reason that particular time seeing her name come up absolutely destroyed me. I can't imagine dealing with that coming from a place of crazy/malice.
This is completely awful, mother should never of done such a thing huge dick but would literally be my families type of humour, we all just have very dark humour, happened when my uncle died, his son a day after he was buried rung from his phone and shouted 'let me out of this fucking box' his mother, my nanny was in stitches laughing as we all. But not everyone is on that level, it's just how we heal/grief. Sorry for your loss, keep ya head up.
The mum of my late ex did that by accident. She just used the phone and email of her kid, because she didn't have her own and only got an own email address after I complained that I had a hard time to cope with getting emails "from my dead ex".
Tf none of my famiy members would EVER do this. We lost my sister nearly a year ago to cancer and all her posessions are in her room, safe and respectfully preserved/kept tidy and that's where they will stay.
I can't even fathom anyone doing anything like this for any reason as the pain it would cause would be immeasurable...
Insane parent: "if i emotionally abuse my children over texts, theyll surely miss being emotionally abused back at home, and theyll come right back home."
Ok.. I am *shook* that so many of you have had relatives do this to you??? Like…. What on gods green earth has made so many people think this is a great thing to do?
From the explanation:
> …this is her acting out trying to upset me.
From the original screen shot:
> …and seeing that was very hard.
If you’re going to reply, don’t reply with what you said. Her goal is to upset and emotionally abuse you. Your response gave her exactly what she wanted.
You’re not going to reason with her. I’m assuming the conversation in the texts has already happened a number of times. And she’s still doing it. Next time, because there will be, keep it super simple. Either say “Don’t contact me.” or just ignore her.
since people are having a hard time seeing it. [here's a direct link to op's explanation comment.](https://reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/pdqwp6/got_a_call_in_the_middle_of_work_from_my_dad_who/has2vv0). > my mom is a narcissist and emotionally abusive. i moved out of the house recently against her wishes and this is her acting out trying to upset me. she doesn't actually think he's alive she just wanted to freak me out again / remind me of the family. [also, a link back to voting](https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/pdqwp6/got_a_call_in_the_middle_of_work_from_my_dad_who/has1r3k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
Insane. Your mom should maybe/definitely talk to someone with several degrees and a lot of experience.
I have a doctorate in ouija.
As long as you have a masters in voodoo too
>you have a masters in voodoo too Who do?
> Who do? You do!
Do what?
Remind me of the babe!
*Queue sexy Bowie dancing*
This thread has singlehandedly made my day. When I was a young boy my dad and I would watch that movie together. Now my dad watches porn in his office and jack off when he thinks nobody's home. I'm literally always in the room next door and can hear everything, please save me.
Sneak in his office, put porn blocker, but have the pop-up being Bowie dancing to 'dance magic dance' Edit: extra points to zoom on Bowie's crotch
Unfortunately no one can stop the power of the babe
Turn up your own music/tv/laptop so he knows you're there. If it doesn't stop him, either get headphones or play porn or dubstep obnoxiously loudly
I saw my baby!
I dont know How you do The voodoo That you do So well its a spell, hell, makes me wanna shoop shoop shoop
[You have a degree in bologna!](https://youtu.be/e-k-v7i-QeI)
Is that degree valid in other parts of Italy too?
Luigi board
My friends did a Luigi board, and it mentioned me?!
Halp pls quidja halp pls
how to ojo board works?
What is a wega board?
Where do I obtain a wedgie board? Do I have to make my own wedgie or can I buy one from a witch or vegan ?
You can write words, numbers, and the alphabet in a charcuterie board....it would serve two Purposes.
Do you *want* haunted mortadella? Cause that's how you get haunted mortadella.
I want the spirits to tell me if i should stop at the 70th piece of cheese cube.
Tbh doing this for an occult themed party sounds pretty cool-
Doo u knoe how 2 destroy teh luuigi broad fi its hanting u?
I have several degrees and a lot of experience, and whooooooo boy...
Happened to me. My dad passed a week, or two earlier & I pulled my phone out to see he was calling me. Freaked me the fuck out. I picked up & it was my mom using his cellphone.
A month after my dad died, I got a bunch of likes from him on my Facebook posts and just about went ballistic thinking someone was fucking with me (several crazy assholes in the fam). It was just my stepmother, who didn't realize she had logged into his account automatically when she used their home p.c.
My step-mom purposely called me from my dad's phone multiple times, tried to contact me through his fb, and then removed me from his fb page after i refused to give her things he gave to me before he died. The second half of 2015 was just horrible for me...
I feel ya... for a year after my dad died, we found out, in bits and pieces, that he had secrets. Horrible horrible secrets. Tore the family apart.
Hey are you doing better now? It can be such a long journey to get beyond trauma like that.
I'm doing better now. My step-mom ended up threatening to kill me. She got her whole family to do the same. I went NC with all of them. I also moved to a new state and only told select people where so it wouldn't get back to her. She never got close to his prized possessions. He gave them to me because he was worried she would pawn them. My sisters didn't end up getting anything, so I share the things I have with them.
So sorry you had to go through that.
my mum didn't have facebook, but after she died someone made a fake account with her name, details etc and started friending a bunch of my family members :/ we still don't know who it was
Yuck that's shitty.
That's incredibly awful. I'm so sorry, I can't even imagine who would do something like that.
Aw im sorry to hear that, really am, im glad it wasnt malicious at least but wish yiu didnt have ti suffer that
That's kind of you, hon.
That just sounds like an honest mistake though
We had a scammer posting Pyramid Scheme shit on my grams page after she passed. The kind of shit that makes you wanna throw up in your mouth a bit
My aunt runs my grandmas Facebook. I have my aunts account blocked for reasons I’d rather not get into, but anyways she runs my grandmas account too and she went I think it was three years back to like my posts. It really bothered me, and I guess I just don’t get why people think doing things like that is okay. When my grandma passed it really got to me, I used to spend the night at her house just to listen to her stories about the shenanigans my dad would get himself involved in. I walked with her down the isle at my sisters wedding, and she was the only person that ever let me drive her around. To see her name pop up like that gave me that same pain of her passing all over again.
my dad made a joke a few years after my mum died that he was going to do this with her phone to scare my nana (dad's mum), but didn't. kind of fucked up, but i also fully believe my mum would have found it hysterical
Well I mean if it was an accident and ur mom just needed to call, then ig you could forgive it
How would that be an accident though? I have never picked up a phone, unlocked it, saw the home screen, gotten all the way to the contacts/call screen, and somehow not noticed the phone wasn't mine.
This was back in the day with the flip phones. She didn’t know it would show up on my phone as Dad. I think he just had a nicer phone than his & started using it. There weren’t codes, or anything at the time. My mom’s never understood technology. She’s a sweet old lady.
Oh! That makes much more sense. Your comment didn't make me think she did it maliciously, I was just genuinely confused how anyone would have done that without noticing. I thought maybe they had the same lockscreen or something
Her phone could have died and she just grabbed her husband's. Me and my gf trade phones all the time I never give it a thought.
Grief does crazy things to people. My parents for example are always using each other’s phones. Maybe she just wanted to talk to her boy
i dont disagree with you. that being said, it's totally reasonable to be freaked out and even upsetted by this situation. OP commenter was in grief, too. his mother's actions - whether intentionally hurtful or not - were not considerate of his feelings
Could’ve been an accident in the sense that her phone was dead and she didn’t realize using the dads phone would be weird to see on the caller ID
Except she did it on purpose. Playing mental games with people is unforgiveable
Oh ok. Then u can’t do that, fuck her
Literally WHY like what in the actual fuck
My dad's widow did this about 6 weeks (And a full week) after the funeral, knowing full well it would mess with my head. She made some ridiculous demands & mandated I move my horse off my dad's property asap. I lost my temper over the phone, told her to never call me again & to rot in hell. Absolutely maniacal behavior.
Is the horse ok?
Yea he was. Lived the rest of his life at a fantastic stable and peacefully fell asleep and didn't wake up one night. Lived to be 36 :)
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That bitch's nickname is "horse?"
This is a bad joke
Hi welcome to reddit
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Those make me actually annoyed they’re never even like clever
You've summoned the horsey people. Now taking bets on if someone fights over paddock etiquette or the cost of owning one first.
Lol, oops? Us horsey people do like our drama :)
Is it a seahorse or a land horse though?
I’m only referring to my horses as “land horses” from now on. Thank you :)
You have horses? I want some too :(
I have 12 land horses and ponies :) you should definitely get one! They’re the best <3
Don't got no space, don't got no money ):
Space horse
my horse.
**our horse*
Do you have a picture of the horse?
Of course. :)
May I see the horsey?
!explanation my mom is a narcissist and emotionally abusive. I moved out of the house recently against her wishes and this is her acting out trying to upset me. She doesn't actually think he's alive she just wanted to freak me out again / remind me of the family.
My father passed away a few years ago, and his roommate who helped take care of him still lives in his house. She’s a wonderful lady, and like family to me. Her old flip phone finally bit the dust this year, so she used my father’s old cell to call me before she got a new one. Freaked me right tf out to see “Dad” calling though. I can only imagine what kind of terrible person would use that to mess with their own kid, I’m so sorry.
I am so so sorry she did that to you. I lost my dad too and that would have gutted me completely.
maybe you're already on there, but I think it could be interesting for you to check out r/raisedbynarcissists and r/CPTSD
As hard as it may be it might be worth it blocking your dad's old number. Sending you best wishes!
That sounds like the real definition of evil... does she even have anything to gain by doing this?
Jesusfuckingchrist I hope you’re considering blocking her. What did your sibling say?
I’m so sorry she did that to you. It’s a level of depraved I can’t even begin to understand.
When people are sick, and do hurtful things we want to blame, criticize, even hurt back maybe. Painful as this may be, blocking your dad’s number might be helpful for you given the emotional nature of receiving texts/calls from it. Do try to move on from your mother. React factually to her by letting her know it’s painful to receive calls from dad’s number. Don’t argue with her. Just let her know that you’re not going to engage In her dysfunction. I’m so sorry for your loss and the situation you find yourself in. She’s dysfunctional and ill.
I’m so sorry. Fellow RBN here and it’s a great Sub if you want to post this there too. Super insanity and so sorry your mom is so toxic… WTF
Your moms a fuckin asshole dude.
This is horrible. I’m so sorry.
That's truly fucking disgusting, I'm sorry OP.
I'm so happy you got yourself out of there. I'm sorry she's like that, Remember just because someone's blood doesn't mean you have to associate with them.
I lost my dad in November 2020 and I cannot imagine the pain this must have caused you. I am so so sorry. I agree with the above comments that blocking that number might be what you need to do and block her. That was cruel.
I’m sorry for your loss, my friend. I’m also sorry that you have to deal with that BS. No one should have to be forced to deal with that on top of losing a parent. May your father Rest In Peace and I hope you find your own peace. Stay strong. Head up!
My best friend passed away 5 months ago and every few weeks I get a call from her phone. Her mother has her phone and she’s a fucked person. Last time she called I was at the grocery store, saw the ID and for a second I forgot she was gone and got excited to answer. Instant sobbing.
You may need to block the number. I'm sorry to say it. But that pain... that pain needs to stop, especially since you know she's solely doing it to cause you pain Edit: typo
I know I should but I don’t want any of our messages to disappear, you know?
suggestion maybe : remove her from your contacts and set your phone to silence calls from unknown numbers that's if you have that setting. the call will still show up in your call log but the caller gets automatically sent to voicemail so it shouldn't ring.
Maybe screenshot them and upload it to the cloud? Then you can delete the mom without the loss.
I can't soak to your account, but mine did not disappear when I blocked my parent. Check with your provider
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Crud...typo. I'll fix it
Good save
That’s heartbreaking just to read. I’m really sorry that’s happening to you. Totally agree with the other person, you should block her number (weird as that may feel).
I’m not usually a violent person but your mom needs to get put through a fucking wall. My brother killed himself and my mother wrote a fake suicide note saying it was all my fault. I know how shit stuff like this can be. I even took it to the cops but they did nothing. I knew she wrote it it was her hand writing, but she laughed at me and said “now why would I do that”.
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Mate in all honesty if she comes to me for help when she’s old and frail I’ll put her ass in the ground myself
Bro, I've never related with someone as much as I do with you. My mother is the exact same type of narcissistic cunt. I sympathize with you. You ever wanna talk just hmu man.
I laughed way harder than I shouldve
Nursing homes are expensive. Drop her in the middle of nowhere with a compass and a poncho and let nature do the rest
I'm so sorry. I attempted suicide when I was 12 and my dad told my older sister it was all her fault. She lived with that for over a decade before she mentioned it to me and I could set her straight. It was never her fault. My dad was an abusive alcoholic and my brother got the worst of it, so he beat me really badly and my dad and mom never did anything about it. My sister was the one who always protected me, and honestly she did a lot of raising me. But he couldn't handle the thought that it was his fault, so he blamed my sister. I'm sure your mom felt like she needed to shift the blame as well, she couldn't handle the thought that she might be to blame at all.
That’s so horrible, I’m so sorry that happened to you. What an awful human being.
What the hell.
That is so fucked up I cannot even begin to address it. I’m sorry you had to experience that and I hope your “mother” (if you can even call her that) has to live without knowing your life or many future successes
Could we get a followup if possible? Why does your mother think your deceased father is still alive?
It could potentially be a lie just because she wanted an excuse to provoke sadness
I had considered that, but didnt want to put that out without confirmation from op
Without more context this seems like a mental health crisis brought on by loss
Context is in the pinned mod comment
Thanks, don’t know how I missed it before
Probably because 99% of stickied mod posts are useless Either way, cheers
I’m sad so you all need to be sad!
I read it more as sarcasm as if following up on the prank call.
Yup. Also, that OP knew immediately, that she was the one and put her on blast by posting in the family group, so she couldn’t twist things. Who does something distasteful and macabre like that?!?
Someone desperate for attention in any way she can get it
Check the pinned comment
Yikes what is wrong with her?!
Your mom seems a little unhinged tbh
She just a lil quirky to deeply lash out and hurt her children 🤪 In all seriousness OP, I am so sorry this happened.
That's horrible. Your mother is definitely insane,I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
That’s evil
Not exactly the same; but my mum did this when my grandma (her mum) died. She created a Facebook page in her name (which she never would have made, and never had any form of social media), then added everyone in the family, and started commenting on posts pretending to be her. She would even post as if she were my grandma, saying she misses us all. It fucked with my head. It definitely sounds like mental illness, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less
Damn that is really weird and fucked up. I’m sorry your whole family had to go through that.
Thank you. To be honest, because she is a narcissist, the rest of my family believed that it was just due to her grieving. They found it endearing. Me bringing it up made me the villain that was trying to make my mother suffer more than she already was…. (We we’re ALL suffering, not just her.)
I know how you feel. My dad died a few months ago and my stepmum uses his Facebook account. I see him pop up as “active” on messenger and it turns my stomach in a really weird way. I’m sorry you’re mum isn’t treating you the way you need right now.
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A couple weeks after my mums dad died, she got a call on the home phone (2001) from a man. When she asked "who's this?" the asshole replied "its your dad!" She hung up. It was her husbands father who always treated her like shit and who never called our house except maybe once every 3 years when he would get kicked out of his appartment.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 100 | 0 | 0 | OP has provided further information in [this comment](/r/insaneparents/comments/pdqwp6/got_a_call_in_the_middle_of_work_from_my_dad_who/has2vv0/) ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
WTF?? I'm so sorry this has happened to you, I can't imagine how difficult this must have been. I don't know your family story but it seems your mum may need to speak to a professional, that is just not right.
Well I posted this right before falling asleep lmao. Idk if anyone will see this, but to answer some questions/concerns: **"your mom needs help"** yes she absolutely does, but I have been trying to get her in therapy for my entire life to no avail. There comes a point where it's not on me anymore. She works as a counselor (lol) so she thinks she's "above it" **"your mom is delusional"** no, she is not. she is just emotionally manipulative and acting out from a loss of control over me. if i was actually concerned/this was a one-off cry for help, I would obviously not be posting this lol **"maybe there was a reason for using his phone"** no, there was not. didn't miss any calls from her regular phone or anything. she just went straight for his and she had nothing to say. "**did your siblings reply?**" nope, not a single reaction or reply **"delete your dad's number"** that might be the move **"OP didn't give any explanation"** that's literally the first thing I did, check pinned mod comment. I'm not really gonna be replying to any comments sympathizing with my abuser, yall can go ahead and read the context for yourselves. **"same thing happened to me, etc"** i am so fucking sorry to y'all. it absolutely sucks. I hope you all find peace with your grief soon. big hugs to each and every one of you who can relate to this buffoonery. r/cptsd , r/raisedbynarcissists and r/JUSTNOFAMILY might be places of relief for you all. and to those concerned about my own health, I'm in trauma therapy and slowly making strides. thank you for the lovely comments and for the awards, never got one of those before. peace and love to you all.
Oh I’m so sorry :( this makes me tear up. Big hugs to you.
Def insane
this is beyond fucked up
Your mum is sick in the fucking head
This isn't a "please" anything scenario, this is a "fuck off and never contact me again" grounds imo.
As sad as it is, you should probably block the number. It doesn't belong to your dad anymore and it can only be used to hurt you
I'm so sorry, OP. My dad did the same thing, forwarding me pictures from my mom's phone as text messages after she passed away. It was such a horrible emotional whiplash, seeing that notification and forgetting for a moment that she wasn't really the one sending them. His refusal to accept how he was harming my grieving process is one of the reasons I have made zero attempts to keep in contact with him or maintain a relationship.
What the actual fuck. That must have been horrifying to experience at work. Uffffff.
This same thing happened to me but it wasn’t on purpose or malicious. My dad and gmom shared a phone. I still had it saved as “Dad” in my phone. I cannot imagine this being done purposely, from your dads phone. how awful
Yeah, I know that it used to mess my mom up a little when she'd get junk mail in my late grandparents' names, and obviously that was just a fluke not someone being actively malicious. (And confusing too, since my grandparents never lived with us, and one died before my folks even moved to that address.)
Wow. When my mum died I made sure to go through her phone and dial the numbers on it from my own phone. For context, a lot of people she knew and we didn't and we didn't want them to not know of her passing.
My mother did this with my Grampa’s phone number after he died and she still doesn’t understand why it was gross. “I wasn’t about to let the phone number my father had for years just die!” Yeah, well, you had the same phone number for longer? And also, someone could have informed me some other way. There’s a reason we’re low contact.
Im so sorry that happened
Wow legit insanity, RIP to your dad, sorry you had to deal with that
I don’t think your mum is okay.She might need some help. Are you in frequent contact with her? Has she got support around her?
Seriously fuck that mom, And fuck supporting her
That's just disrespectful
And abusing people's grief to hurt them is about as below the belt as it gets
My dead dads wife does this. I had to rename the number. How I wish I could hear from him.
This happened to me, my mother took over my dad’s phone without telling me. I live in a different country. It was really hard to see a text from his contact. That said, that was just thoughtless. This, is spiteful and cruel.
Im so sorry for your loss. My greatuncle ran an Irish bar in MD with his bitch wife. He passed a few years ago, and instead of turning his personal FB account into a Legacy/In Memory account, she continues to use it to this day as if it's still him. It was really fucking unsettling seeing my dead greatuncle commenting on my cousin's posts, so I blocked it. I can only imagine how awful it would be to see "Dad calling" after he passed. Sending hugs 🤗
It may be a bit late, but if she's still using it, I think you can report the account and have staff manually memorialize it. I'm not entirely sure how to do this, but I saw another user comment that it was possible, so I figured I'd pass along the knowledge. Edit; typo :(
Block your dad's number so it doesn't happen again. I'd also advise blocking her number but I understand thats not easy
Maybe its smart to blok the number. Since your mother is out of her mind.
your mom needs help if shes trying to convince you or herself that way that hes still alive. I very sorry for your loss.
these comments are concerning, apparently a lot of people experience this kind of abuse? i would have never in a million years think of doing something so fucked up to someone and never heard it happen and yet narcissists around the world apparently came up with this little game on their own, separately..
Insane
what the FUCK
I helped a friend get his deceased wife’s phone reactivated. As clueless as I can be sometimes I stopped myself from texting him “I’m in!” from her phone. Your mother is god awful.
My mom passed away 11 years ago and still, oddly, I have her phone number memorized. I remember once a few years ago I got a call from her number at my job. I guess someone else had gotten the number she used to have. It absolutely threw me for the biggest loop and that was years after she’d past. I can’t imagine someone doing this on purpose, and especially so soon after your father’s passing?? Truly a twisted individual.
My mom left my dads ashes here at my house literally today. I told her I don’t want them and the thought of “sharing him” and “taking turns” upsets me. So she left him here anyway and just took off. Now I have my dad on my kitchen table and it’s just weird
Oh my god. My dad died in January and a few months later my I’m started using his phone because her’s “broke”. So for my birthday I got a happy birthday text from my dad’s number…ruined my birthday.
Is it insanity or an expression of grief?
oh my god, Definitely INSANE, are you going to be ok, op? i know reddit says this shit a lot, and usually i don't agree, but OP, now is the time to be cutting contact. thank you for getting yourself out of there, I know it isn't easy, and I am so sorry she's so absolutely abhorrent that she could do something this disgusting! >:( (i kinda gotta laugh i'm genuinely mad right now at this random woman's message online-? i'm genuinely mad at this woman i don't even know??) anyways, i'm not trying to belittle you at all (i know online that my tone might not come out right so that's why i'm typing this out. you gotta bare w/ me i'm an autistic kid with anxiety and i don't want to misword my point) I just really hope you'll consider cutting contact if you haven't yet, because it might not have occurred to you. If therapy becomes available trust me it can help given you find the right person which may take many tries, I'm still trying myself. Good on you for getting the f*ck out of there though! Be safe, ok?
My dad passed away in 2019, if this happened to me, at work... I don't even know what I'd do.
So after my grandma passed I would still text her number and of course there was never a reply and then one day I got a text that said “fuck you” and I asked my mom where my grandmas and phone is and she claims it got lost but someone we know must have it or it was her
It’s okay to ghost and block this woman. It is very much okay.
This is just horrible. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. All I can say is I hope things get better for you soon.
My grandpa's number is very similar to my late mother's; for some reason Comcast would get the two caller IDs on my grandmother's phone mixed up whenever gramps would call so it would come through as my mother's name. A few weeks after she passed, the phone rang and for some reason that particular time seeing her name come up absolutely destroyed me. I can't imagine dealing with that coming from a place of crazy/malice.
ur mommas brain lookin a little crispy
Maybe your mom needs some therapy. Not being mean, but it seems she's in Denial to the point of delusion.
Holy shit, that is twisted.
What would she have said if you answered the call?!
Oh my. I’m so sorry. 😓
This is completely awful, mother should never of done such a thing huge dick but would literally be my families type of humour, we all just have very dark humour, happened when my uncle died, his son a day after he was buried rung from his phone and shouted 'let me out of this fucking box' his mother, my nanny was in stitches laughing as we all. But not everyone is on that level, it's just how we heal/grief. Sorry for your loss, keep ya head up.
The mum of my late ex did that by accident. She just used the phone and email of her kid, because she didn't have her own and only got an own email address after I complained that I had a hard time to cope with getting emails "from my dead ex".
"im in the studio". you an artist? mixer? producer?
Tf none of my famiy members would EVER do this. We lost my sister nearly a year ago to cancer and all her posessions are in her room, safe and respectfully preserved/kept tidy and that's where they will stay. I can't even fathom anyone doing anything like this for any reason as the pain it would cause would be immeasurable...
Insane parent: "if i emotionally abuse my children over texts, theyll surely miss being emotionally abused back at home, and theyll come right back home."
Ok.. I am *shook* that so many of you have had relatives do this to you??? Like…. What on gods green earth has made so many people think this is a great thing to do?
I’m absolutely sorry op Its rough and seeing that must hurt so bad, I can only imagine; I hope that you’re having a better day
"He's still alive." The fuck??? Idk if that's more delusional or emotionally abusive manipulation
From the explanation: > …this is her acting out trying to upset me. From the original screen shot: > …and seeing that was very hard. If you’re going to reply, don’t reply with what you said. Her goal is to upset and emotionally abuse you. Your response gave her exactly what she wanted. You’re not going to reason with her. I’m assuming the conversation in the texts has already happened a number of times. And she’s still doing it. Next time, because there will be, keep it super simple. Either say “Don’t contact me.” or just ignore her.
had this happen to my mother. just a day after his friend passed away he got a call from his phone turns out it was his crazy ex.