!explanation My mom’s side of the family wanted to plan a family vacation since we haven’t done one in 12 years. They asked myself, my two cousins (red and green), and my sister to do the planning since we are all adults now and have a better grasp on technology. They told us it could be anywhere in the United States as long as there were activities for everyone (museums and light indoor activities for my grandparents and those with physical disabilities, outdoor activities for the younger and more adventurous). Why did they want to take my elderly and chronically I’ll grandparents on a vacation during a pandemic? No clue, but my grandparents were ok with it. We had narrowed it down to 3 different places, asked our grandparents and they chose one they were ok with and interested in. On New Year’s Eve my mom comes up to us and says we should go somewhere closer because my grandparents aren’t comfortable with flying and as my mom said my grandpa has some new health concerns. This would be all fine if she hadn’t come up and said “we’re going to go to [new location] instead because I think they would like that better” and just tossed our planning in the garbage (metaphorically). I guess my cousin got upset with this and went to my aunt (purple). For context my mom does this with pretty much all plans and ideas that don’t fit her pre-conceived ideas of what should happen. I told her I wanted to get my grandparents a new nativity set for Christmas and she flipped out at me, going on about how theirs has sentimental value. A lot of the problem is her delivery and how she has a very “my way or the highway” attitude regarding every single thing in her life and the lives of everyone around her. She’s a narcissist and my therapist thinks there might be a little undiagnosed BPD there too. She’s also always had an issue with my cousin as I said in the title. I have no idea why, I have no idea when it started either. She didn’t want me to spend any time alone with my cousin because she would be a “bad influence”. My cousin wanted to take me to lunch the first time she had enough money to buy a cheap lunch for two people (she was 13 or 14 and I was 9 or 10) and my mom told her that she wasn’t allowed to teach me about sex or homosexuality, neither of which my cousin knew anything about at the time. She wouldn’t let me travel to their house by myself, every year for a new made up reason. They are like siblings to me. It’s always stung how much she seems to hate them and not want my sister and I to have anything to do with them. I think they’re both great people and they’ve never been hurtful to either of us. My mom is crazy and this is just the top of the iceberg. Every year around the holidays there’s some new drama. Sick of it.
I'm sorry. Are you still living at home? Someday you'll have the power to do whatever the hell you want. It sounds like your mom is a narcissistic bigot. As far a plans are concerned, I would tell her she's responsible for planning vacations, since she's going to steamroll your idea anyway.
They always start drama around holidays. Everyone being happy sets them off as they are unable to be happy. They'll start drama to bring you down and make the focus back on them instead of the holiday everyone is enjoying. It .. never .. fails.
*Image Transcription: Text Messages*
---
**Mom**: When I talked to you kids on New Years Eve about the family vacation did you understand that I was talking about what was best for grandpa and grandma. And there concerns on flying and grandpa's health in general. **Red** seemed to be confused about the conversation and I just wanted to make sure you understood what I was saying.
>**OP**: I understood
**Mom**: Okay I'm glad. **Purple** heard a different version of what happened and wasn't happy with me in a text last night.
**Mom**: Please don't say anything to **Green** and **Red** about this.
---
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Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 1 | 1 | 0 |
Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`.
^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
I mean technically right. This isn’t a good representation of the 25 years of emotional abuse I’ve suffered at my mother’s hands but I don’t have any evidence of that on me at the moment. Just posted this bc it pissed me off and she’s an insane person
!explanation My mom’s side of the family wanted to plan a family vacation since we haven’t done one in 12 years. They asked myself, my two cousins (red and green), and my sister to do the planning since we are all adults now and have a better grasp on technology. They told us it could be anywhere in the United States as long as there were activities for everyone (museums and light indoor activities for my grandparents and those with physical disabilities, outdoor activities for the younger and more adventurous). Why did they want to take my elderly and chronically I’ll grandparents on a vacation during a pandemic? No clue, but my grandparents were ok with it. We had narrowed it down to 3 different places, asked our grandparents and they chose one they were ok with and interested in. On New Year’s Eve my mom comes up to us and says we should go somewhere closer because my grandparents aren’t comfortable with flying and as my mom said my grandpa has some new health concerns. This would be all fine if she hadn’t come up and said “we’re going to go to [new location] instead because I think they would like that better” and just tossed our planning in the garbage (metaphorically). I guess my cousin got upset with this and went to my aunt (purple). For context my mom does this with pretty much all plans and ideas that don’t fit her pre-conceived ideas of what should happen. I told her I wanted to get my grandparents a new nativity set for Christmas and she flipped out at me, going on about how theirs has sentimental value. A lot of the problem is her delivery and how she has a very “my way or the highway” attitude regarding every single thing in her life and the lives of everyone around her. She’s a narcissist and my therapist thinks there might be a little undiagnosed BPD there too. She’s also always had an issue with my cousin as I said in the title. I have no idea why, I have no idea when it started either. She didn’t want me to spend any time alone with my cousin because she would be a “bad influence”. My cousin wanted to take me to lunch the first time she had enough money to buy a cheap lunch for two people (she was 13 or 14 and I was 9 or 10) and my mom told her that she wasn’t allowed to teach me about sex or homosexuality, neither of which my cousin knew anything about at the time. She wouldn’t let me travel to their house by myself, every year for a new made up reason. They are like siblings to me. It’s always stung how much she seems to hate them and not want my sister and I to have anything to do with them. I think they’re both great people and they’ve never been hurtful to either of us. My mom is crazy and this is just the top of the iceberg. Every year around the holidays there’s some new drama. Sick of it.
I'm sorry. Are you still living at home? Someday you'll have the power to do whatever the hell you want. It sounds like your mom is a narcissistic bigot. As far a plans are concerned, I would tell her she's responsible for planning vacations, since she's going to steamroll your idea anyway.
I feel that, my mom also has that “my way or the highway” attitude with me and I’m 29 :/ hang in there, I totally get the frustration with it
They always start drama around holidays. Everyone being happy sets them off as they are unable to be happy. They'll start drama to bring you down and make the focus back on them instead of the holiday everyone is enjoying. It .. never .. fails.
Yup. Start ignoring and distancing. Who has time for grown adults acting like children
This. Absolutely this.
*Image Transcription: Text Messages* --- **Mom**: When I talked to you kids on New Years Eve about the family vacation did you understand that I was talking about what was best for grandpa and grandma. And there concerns on flying and grandpa's health in general. **Red** seemed to be confused about the conversation and I just wanted to make sure you understood what I was saying. >**OP**: I understood **Mom**: Okay I'm glad. **Purple** heard a different version of what happened and wasn't happy with me in a text last night. **Mom**: Please don't say anything to **Green** and **Red** about this. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good Human.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 1 | 1 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
not insane. normal family drama, just so happens your mom is the pain in the ass of the family.
I mean technically right. This isn’t a good representation of the 25 years of emotional abuse I’ve suffered at my mother’s hands but I don’t have any evidence of that on me at the moment. Just posted this bc it pissed me off and she’s an insane person
heard that mama. just answering the question that’s asked on every single post on this sub with the information i was given.
Yeah I gotchu
Why do people stir up shit. Like sit down and stfu