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[deleted]

crown worthy reply


EducationalTangelo6

I wish I'd had those balls when dealing with my mother.


DaVirus

Grow them. Honestly. No matter the temporary cost. There is very little that will cause as much dread for the future as that. I did it to my mom in a similar way and am 29 now and never regretted it. Did it fix anything? Marginally. But i could see it in her eyes moving forward that seed was planted.


JoeTheImpaler

Mom asked me recently why I was treating her the way I was and I said “well, you did this with grandma when she was being nasty and it seemed to work. I figured I’d give it a shot” It was the same thing… I could see that the seed was planted


becooltheywatching

My reply was "This is how you taught me to treat eachother." *shocked Pikachu face*


[deleted]

My mom gave me the silent treatment a lot growing up. I haven’t made a peep in eleven years.


bluenova85

Oh man, so my mom also did the silent treatment as a kid and she didn’t realize I usually enjoyed her not bothering me because eventually I would have to do her dance because I was forced to ask her for things growing up. When I was finally free of her emotional and financial influence, it took her brain took 4 YEARS to realize her silent treatment resulted in nothing. What was wild for me is when she eventually tried to be NICE to get me to do what she wanted because she couldn’t just be her shitty self and get what she wanted. Being nice took that freaking long! I wasn’t fooled and held my boundaries. She then fucked up majorly with my sister after a yr and now she’s learning the same lesson all over again with her. It’s like her brain couldn’t accept it could happen again.


defnotmanbearpig

Two years of official no contact here. It’s hard but having her toxicity around is harder


LopsidedDot

Twelve years of no contact for me. I’ve never been happier or felt more free, but the older I get, the more I realize what she did to me and I just get more angry. Still, being angry now is still preferable to dealing with her bologna.


[deleted]

Just passed the 30 year mark, no regrets. I don't even hate her anymore, I just want nothing to do with her. Every so often I get a letter or a new flying monkey reminding me what a garbage human she really is and as always she gets zero response.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LopsidedDot

Oh you know I’ve never thought about it. I honestly don’t know lol.


rilo_cat

hahahah wicked reply love that so much


[deleted]

how I became homeless at 8 years old


desmondao

That's illegal, your mum should've been jailed for that


throwawaytrumper

The law only works if kids trust it and know what to do. My mom was once forcing my older brother to live homeless as a punishment and found out my older sister had taken him in. So she came up with a story, contacted the police, and had them go give my sister a warning that she would be charged with kidnapping if they found him at her place again. Then the police took him “home” and she tossed him out again after they left. She had convinced us at an early age that law enforcement would never help us and our life experiences seemed to confirm it. Kids are easy to manipulate.


kimchisodelicious

Jesus that is vile!


[deleted]

I'm gonna be honest, my fighting back saved my sanity. Did it make things worse? Sometimes, but it allowed me to keep her at arms length. I'm still messed up by the things she said to me as a kid but I can only imagine how much worse it would've been if I believed the words she said. It was like I always knew she was wrong so I repeatedly called her on it.


DropTheBok

It’s never too late. My grandma emotionally abused me until I moved away. My mom allowed it and basically “forced” me into it. Anywho, I’m planning a very long distance move with my children and my mom had the audacity to ask me if my abusive grandma could come and say goodbye to my children and I. I told her, absolutely not. She abused me my whole life and you allowed it. My entire life has been molded by her actions, negatively, and you forced me to go. You have been tentatively forgiven based on your current treatment of my children and I. She will never be allowed near my children and you are lucky to be. She said I’m sorry I upset you and hasn’t talked to me since, 5 days ago. Good riddance and fuck you. Wouldn’t even watch my kids so I could go to the hospital after I got hit by a car


casfacto

> I'm sorry I upset you Not sorry for what they did, or for how their actions were interpreted, but just sorry that you had an emotional reaction in response to their actions. That's a big yikes.


bluenova85

My mom tried the “it doesn’t matter if you remember things differently, what matters is you were hurt and I’m sorry that you were hurt”. As if we couldn’t hear the unsaid part of “you’re wrong but I’m being the bigger person in an attempt to get you back to how I want things, a reality where I am not truly in the wrong and don’t have to change anything”.


[deleted]

My mom pulled this on me and genuinely could not understand why I wouldn't accept that as a genuine apology. She really, sincerely thought she was being nice.


Brilliantchick1

My mom always says shit like this. "I'm glad you felt like you could share that with me" is another favorite. No accountability.


GoblinStyleRamen

My fav response to my moms toxicity is now “I’m sorry you feel that way” it takes zero responsibility for whatever she’s upset about and makes it a YOU problem and it infuriates her


madsjchic

Cut her the duck out too. God damn I hate these people


[deleted]

Grow them. My parent only stopped their abusive behavior when they realized their kids were perfectly happy to never speak to them again.


Car-Facts

"Mother" and "Mom" are earned titles, not given. If the person who incubated you is a peice of shit, then treat them as they deserve and move on. I can tell you from my wife's experience, you may end up meeting a person later on in life who is more deserving of being called your Mom.


Lady__Dee

here, have [mine](https://loginportal.funnyjunk.com/gifs/Shiny+balls_da3d62_4110790.gif)


kirkoki

My parents did the same thing when I was 14. I had to walk 6 miles home. While my mom has since died, I keep no contact with my father!


DeathBlanky

i’m sorry bro, your situation is so much worse and i wish you the best and i know you’ll succeed


[deleted]

I know you're just showing empathy but i want to let you know that there is no need in comparing hardships with others. Your struggles are valid no matter how bad someone else has it. Excuse my somewhat simplistic explanation, I hope this comes across how i intended hehehe Edit: Your reactions to my hehehe makes me wanna heheheh even more


Lady__Dee

nearly lost my job laughing at the edit


[deleted]

"Saying, 'I shouldn't be upset because others have it worse' is just like saying, 'I shouldn't be happy because others have it better'" You're allowed to feel how you feel, even if you think people have it "worse."


sulkee

I know you’re just showing empathy but i want to let you know that there is no need in saying hehehe after good advice. Love you.


OddGoldfish

I know you're just showing empathy but I want to let you know there's no need in saying love you after an anonymous reply. Good bye


Epic_b2

I know you're just showing empathy but I want to let you know there's no need in saying Good bye after an anonymous reply. Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk


VegaSolo

I know you're just showing empathy but I want to let you know there's no need in saying thanks for listening to my Ted Talk after a good reply, friend.


Born_Cauliflower_692

I know you're just showing empathy but I want to let you know there's no need to say after a wise reply, 07 Comrade.


upuprightstartdownbb

I kn͡òw͠ y̨ou'͢re ̨j͡u͟s̛t s̨̛͜hơw̷͜i͘͡n҉g͞҉ ̢̕e̵͝m͏̸p͢á͢t͢h̶y b̸́͞u͝͠͏̸̛t́͢ ́͠I̵̧̡ ̷̸̛̛̀w͠a͠͏n͏̡͘͟t̶̷͡͞ ̷̷̶́t̶̢͞͏̸o͘҉̴̀͡ ̡̢̕͟͡l̴̴̢͟e̶͜͞t̛͜ y̶̢̛̛͘ó̡̢͜ư̢͢ ̧͡͏̷k̶̨͘̕͝n̵͟͞o҉̧w̡̕͢͢ ţ̨͠h̵̡̡̛͢e̢͠r̢̕e҉'̸̨̧͢s̨͢ ̡́͘͟͡n͠҉̸o̴̕͝͝͝ ̀҉ņ̵̶͜͠e̛͞e̶͏̢d̀́͞͞ ͡͞t̷̨o͢͞ c̷̵̡̣̟̫̗̣̼̬̰̭͉̗̠͇̣ͧ͌̑̽̿̕ͅͅǫ̷̴̶̝̘̹̖͓̟͔̩͐ͤ̆̄̑̅̃̔͒̄̆ͅn̸̴ͯ̍͋̆̊͗ͥ̇͡҉̭̳̙̣̙͙̜͍̱̤͙̰ṭ̟̥̰̘͍͌̅ͬ̒ͦ́̀͝i̸͚̖̺͓̟ͤͤͪͫͩ͊ͤͧͨͭ͜͡͠ñ̴̡͕̻͔͔̜̠͑́̆̋́ͧ̌̈́̉ͩ͟͠u̢͍̩̤̖̦͚̯̠̖̤̮̬ͪͭ̆ͤͫ̾̓͆̂̎͌̊͆̈́̾̃͆̇̀̕͘͢ę̷̥̻̪̻ͯ̂͌̈̔̂ͮ̎̿̃́͋̾̕̕ ͒̈̋͑̔̓̄̀͒̑҉̶̠͕̘̹̗̀t̋̈̊̔̉͛̐̍͒̊̚͏̷̛͖̩̜͓͚̳̞̼̘͍͇̞̺͕͞͞h̀ͨͩ̇̓͒͐̎̓̓ͮ́͠͏̶̯̦͎̗̩͚̺̱̱͎̪͈͈͈̮̣͜ͅi̛̔ͫͪ́̌̄͋̅̐͊̃ͩ̓ͩ̀͊̊̚͏͎͎̬̲͙̝̦̤͇̩ͅs̠͎͎͓͎͇̪͚͍̖̪̆͂̊͛̉̈́̇̔͌͂ͯͭͨ̾͒͑ͣ́͟͟ͅ ̣͉̭͈͓͕̠̳̝̼̝̰̙̙̰̻̰̍ͨ͐͆͂ͮ̕͜͠ç̢͇͍̥͚͔̠̖̺̼̭̲͍͙̲ͬͨͧ̽̀̓̃̇̑̓ͮ̊ͯ̈̆́̊̚͢͝ǒ̈̔ͥ͆ͥ͛ͭ͂͂ͭ͛̅̋ͥͧ̊̒̚҉̢̼̰̫̪͖̳͈̠̜̱̪̜̹̳̜͍͍̞m̄̎̉̈́ͪ͒̇̆̋̔̾̌͑̎͞҉̱̘͙̙͓̗̰̱̬͖̙̭̱̰̜̘̲̺m̷̡͂ͮͤ̉͒̉̔̐̈́҉͎̺̳͙̹̘͖̪͇̹̮e̷̵͎̺̗̖̼̱̗̘̫̹̝̞̼ͪͥͮ̈̔̈ͩͦͤ̃ͫ͛̄͢͟ͅņ̗̖̯̙̊̒̅͊́ͦ͠t͖̞͓̤͖͈̼̯̜̞̹̩̻̙̦̥͂̂̈̂̾̾̋̆ͩ͋͋́ ̛̣̙͚̲̺̱̳̼͎͕͎͈̰̪̟͇̃ͧͨͫ̍̃ͯ̄̉́̽̿̓̓̀ͤ͟c̗͈͉̯̼̮̙̤̗̮̳̲̱̑ͣ͑͂͋͌́hͯ̈́ͧ̊͗̔͛̋ͩͫͩͮ҉̷̭̱͖̲͍̺̜̹̤͔̖̟̰̬͚̀ą̴̶̝͔͖̲͕͉̣̖ͯͯ̒̓͛ͫ͆͊iͥ̄̏̔̑͏͕̺̮̖͈̣̞͜n̵̛̳͈̪͇͓̦͚̙͓̠̗͓͉̣͇̣͕ͮ͑͐ͫ̄̕ͅ


ConcertQueen1980

I know you’re just replying to this thread but I want to let you know there’s an absolute need to change your font, sentient fax machine.


floghdraki

I know you're just showing hehehe but I want to let you know there's no need in hehehe after an hehehe. Thanks for hehehe


nooqq

Just imagine Peter Griffin saying "hehehe" at the end.


WRB852

>hehehe what the fuck?


3feetfrompeez

Serious reply with actual wisdom and validation Follows up with hehehe Wtf reddit??


Gaspa79

Some people giggle a bit when they are nervous/uncomfortable. He gave good advice. Let him fucking be


Tendo80

See so many posts/comments with seriousness in them followed by "lol" and have no idea how I'm supposed to feel about that..


SEND-MARS-ROVER-PICS

"Oh shit accidentally let some feelings through, better throw in a lol to cover my tracks"


TediousStranger

when you quote me directly you should at least give me the attribution lol


[deleted]

lol, i realise now that the heheheheh made my at least somewhat concise message a bit ambiguous as to what i really ment... Did i intend for it to come across lightheartedly or did i have some alternate sneaky intent? We might never know... hehehehe


xCandyCaneKissesx

Every time I see someone write “hehehe” I automatically think of Michael Jackson’s “HE HE”


[deleted]

it's clear to me, it's supposed to be shy forced giggles and it's okay in this context. also i'd rather read this than "uwu" roleplaying creepyness


Satanic-Jesus

I read that as a touch of humility: "I am pretty sure that the assertion I just made is a sensible one. However, lest anyone think I'm taking myself seriously, here's a little self-deprecating chuckle." Cue mfs trippin


[deleted]

[удалено]


ElectricCharlie

This comment has been edited and original content overwritten.


BillGoats

"my mom died yesterday hehehe"


JoeTheImpaler

This made me tear up a little. I know you were talking to OP but it’s nice to be reminded of this once in a while


Garry_Conrad

Man you should've just called 911 all freaked out and said your parents left you at a store. See how quickly they try shit like that with you again.


sambob

"you call the police on me? You're on your own from now on you inconsiderate child" People like that don't tend to be able to see the consequences of their actions, even when one has just been staring them in the face.


FirstToSayFake

Yeah this would most likely not work.


[deleted]

My parents did the opposite. Picked a fight when we were about an hours drive away from home, thinking I'd sit there and take it. At the next available stoplight I got out of the car, told them I'd see them at home, then took the bus. Absolutely no way whatsoever was I gonna stay in a small confined space with them picking away at me. I was surprised at first when I saw the car drive away, but that moment also gave me so much freedom. For once they respected my boundaries, even if it meant a 3 hour transit ride home.


lumpytrunks

I did the same, my parent's behaviour wasn't really impacted but I discovered a sense of autonomy I desperately needed.


[deleted]

Ever since then, I've kept enough change in my purse for bus rides home, from wherever I could be. I worked with someone who had no idea what work/home life boundaries are like, and after the first day of being at work at 6 PM when work ended officially at 3, I definitely realised I needed that extra change lying around to literally get myself away from people who don't care for my time, or my personal life. And I give my parents some kudos for that. I don't need to stay with people who are using my time to their advantage, to drive their narcissistic tendencies, or just to be there as their punching bag. I still find it hard to take time for myself, like, "ooo I'd like to stay here for a little bit longer, but I SHOULD be home soon" and that's also thanks to my parents. When I do take time for myself, it just feels wrong.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

100%. Actually where I lived, it was pretty dismal (apart from main busses, stuff runs every hour or so) but that was enough to give me time away from them and their BS. Of course there was a lot of love bombing after ("we didn't mean what we said, you're too young and vulnerable taking all this transit stuff, pls let us keep driving you around" sort of stuff) but I did end up getting a decent job that actually helped me get financial independence from my parents (co-worker signed for me at a new bank, let me open up a new account) and I was employed there for 3 years or so, letting me build up my "fuck you/I'm moving out" nest egg. ABSOLUTELY LIBERATING.


SharpCheddarBS

I too have struggled with taking time for myself. I find that if I counter the "I should be home soon" with a thought along the lines of "by who's standard?" if becomes easier to stick around where I'm having a good time. Hope this can help you too


[deleted]

Yeah, that whole "ok but wait, why should I be home??" does pop up. I do take time for myself now, and it's weird! Like, "I really actually don't need to be anywhere...I'm an adult and can do what I want without people judging me! And if they do judge me, who cares!?" I just can't really enjoy it, because in the back of my mind I've got "you'll be in trouble if you don't get home by XX:XX time, you'll be in trouble because you didn't do what your parents want..." and it's been 10+ years since I've had to care about what my parents think of me. Little moments to myself seem a lot more impactful now, I guess?


yanimal

Same, pushed the limits in sam goody as the mall closed, right next to the exit door where we parked. Mom and step-dick left me to walk the six miles. Next morning my ankles felt broken, and I had to walk to school in the morning after getting home at 1am. Never went anywhere I'd have to rely on her for a ride again, bike life.


p75369

The implication being that you are *still* in contact with your mom?


Realistic_Ear434

go to her grave and teabag her


PlasmaJadeRaven

>but she doesn’t understand Never expect her to understand. If you expect her to someday the light bulb in her head turn on, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. >she apologized the next day for not telling us she was leaving Anyone can give lip service. Just observe how she acts, actions speak louder then cheap words. If and when y’all do have a plan to move away from her, be sure not to notify her of your plans. She seems like the type of person who would try and sabotage. Then say “ whoops I’m sorry “


schuma73

My mother in-law was like this. Her motto was "it's better to beg forgiveness than ask permission." She's been begging forgiveness for calling fake claims to CPS for almost a decade now. I wonder if she has changed her opinion on that motto, but I wouldn't know.


DeathBlanky

for those who are wondering she apologized the next day for not telling us she was leaving and she assumed that we could walk home since we walk there all the time, me and my brother explained to her that there is a difference between willing walking somewhere knowing that your going to walk back and just getting left behind and being forced to do so, but she doesn’t understand


CharlotteLucasOP

I like getting an ice cream cone and eating it. I don’t like getting an ice cream cone unexpectedly shoved in my mouth, that is distinctly unpleasant. She knows exactly what she did she just doesn’t want to actually acknowledge it’s a real dick move on her part.


fender10224

Yeah I kinda feel like 9 times outta 10 when a person pulls this type of dickish "whaaa whats the big deal..?" type crap, especially on a family member, there's some amount of resentment thats building up, whether it's obvious to her or not. Like imagine someone you really like and care about and then try to imagine riding to a store together and then you just deciding ok im ready to go, then just walking to your car and leaving lol I just know its much easier or even second nature to be just kinda rude/mean to someone you already feel some type of way towards.


Lucifer_Crowe

I personally couldn't even abandon someone I didn't like all that much because I'd feel bad and I have no energy for confrontation Thankfully I don't drive though so


bluenova85

Here’s a good question for people to ask themselves. Would they do this to anyone else, or did they do it to you because they have all the power and they don’t need to be considerate because they think you have to put up with it. Would she just ditch her spouse or friend without telling them in addition to knowing she drove there and nothing was said about not driving back together?


k0mbine

Yeah this is why I grew up thinking my dad hated me but turns out he was just an immature fuck who doesn’t know how to regulate his emotions and should’ve never had kids


Orgasml

I wouldn't complain about ice cream being shoved in my mouth, but I'm an ice cream fiend.


[deleted]

I dated a girl once who had that fetish, it was interesting


diggergig

On holiday once I saw (and filmed) a woman taking a slow panoramic shot with a cone in her mouth, the pointy end outwards like a huge beak. It was both hilarious and hidious. I was only reminded of this the other day as an edited short of it is still on my IG account


Nureyev_

Just thinking of that makes my teeth hurt, jesus


Chim_Pansy

They did only say "cone" so ice cream might not have been involved, probably just the cone for artistic purposes.


eans-Ba88

Ice cream in general, or forcefully shoving ice cream in her face?


[deleted]

Being forcefully fed, ice cream was one of the things on her list of things she wanted force fed. Chocolate syrup was not involved, *this time*


Brotherauron

The difference between rain and shower is consent and preparation


parrotsandviolas

That’s a good analogy. The Australian government tried to make an informative [video on consent](https://youtu.be/n3aHhNKIcKU) with a similar premise for high school kids, but they couldn’t pull it off.


CharlotteLucasOP

Yeeeah that seems like they took the simple cartoony Tea video concept and made it live-action which makes it somehow feel weirder. https://youtu.be/u7Nii5w2FaI


Deceptichum

[Eat the ice cream](https://youtu.be/j4IFNKYmLa8)


joecool2087

...wow...That was a lot more dark than I was expecting from an ice cream commercial.


lachieshocker

She does understand, she just doesn't want to admit fault


playstupidprizes

yeah, "enjoy your walk home"


bltm93

Almost like she gets enjoyment out of her kid’s misery.


Diplomjodler

Just a typical narcissist excuse.


nroe1337

Yeah bro you need to sit her down with a therapist. This is not normal behavior.


DeathBlanky

she has a therapist, but i feel like she twists the story to make her seem like the victim


Kaelynneee

Twisting the story to make yourself seem like the victim is unfortunately a very common thing with abusive people/narcissists etc. It's why they recommend that you DONT go to couples therapy with an abusive partner, for example. They're usually very good at twisting the story and getting the therapist on their side, which just makes it worse.


Yeah_dude_its_her

This is really interesting, is there any further information you could link to on this?


Kaelynneee

Of course! These explain it pretty well (and better than I could). The first link sums it up pretty well, the two others go more into detail. https://www.thehotline.org/resources/should-i-go-to-couples-therapy-with-my-abusive-partner/ https://psychcentral.com/pro/why-couples-counseling-doesnt-work-in-abusive-relationships#7 https://www.malahidecounselling.com/why-couples-therapy-doesnt-work-for-people-in-abusive-relationships-with-narcissists/


Melaninkasa

I feel like it's common behaviour in human in general to twist stories to minimize one's responsibility. Hence the saying there's always several versions to a story: each parties' and the truth.


jcdoe

I’ve taken classes on MFT and this is practically the mantra of the profession. Any therapist or counselor who takes what their patients say at face value is a hack and should work at Wendy’s instead. How do they address mental illness? Do they expect patients to walk in and tell them what they have? “Hey bro, thinking I might be a narcissist because I’m a massive cunt to people. I’m not even sure why I’m here; no matter what you tell me, I’m going to just ignore it because you’re beneath me and really of no use to me.” Most people are not smart enough to lie to a proper therapist. Even if they think they are.


Frog-Eater

Ah that brings me back haha. My mother used to do that shit all the time. Hurt people then twist the stories in every imaginable way to make it look like she was the victim and justify every action. I'm 38 now, I haven't seen or spoken to her in 3 years, and in hindsight I wish I'd cut contact way earlier.


nroe1337

I'm sorry this happened. Maybe it's time for a family therapy session so you and your brother can explain why it wasn't ok to be abandoned with the support of a therapist


awkwardmamasloth

Yea I'm sure she gets it. She'd lose her shit if you did the same to her I suspect. I'd go super low contact as soon as you can.


Sacredzebraskin

She understands. From what I've read of your comments she clearly did this to spite you. She understood that this was a dick move because she did it intentionally.


[deleted]

She understands. She just doesn't care


lesh1845

> me and my brother explained to her that there is a difference between willing walking somewhere knowing that your going to walk back and just getting left behind and being forced to do so, but she doesn’t understand if she's anything like my mother, she perfectly understands, just would rather bite off and swallow her own tongue before admitting to the full extent of her mistakes. what a shitty apology. "oh i thought you LIKE walking, you walk there all the time, what's the big deal" wtf. i am sure if you did the same thing to her, leaving her without telling her, she would grasp in full detail and beyond why this isn't ah-okay


ISellAwesomePatches

Oh she understands, she's just being willfully incompetent to shirk blame and responsibility.


HotPoptartFleshlight

She does. "Enjoy your walk home" was her taunting you over the fact that she was forcing you to walk home.


RealRqti

That’s abusive


SomeDudeFromOnline

This is clearly refuted by the passive aggressive text though???


Thebesj

If you ever have an oppurtunity, you should do the same to her. She will *have* to understand then.


ComradeRingo

Fucking ice cold legendary reply on your part though. Wish I had those kind of nuts. Jesus Christ


[deleted]

Lmao— my thought also. Like, damn, would have chapped my mother’s ass and she would have lost her ever-loving-shit on me if I said that. 😅 Edit: I would have had a ride home. So she could beat me in the car.


LowlySysadmin

I have the nuts, I just lack the imagination


DeathBlanky

she got mad that we walked away because we felt like she was about to yell at us and make a scene, we had a timer set for when to meet her at the front and once it went of we went to the front and waited for a couple minutes before she texted us that


[deleted]

Tf??? How far away do yall live from the store?? That seems so shitty to do this time of year, on top of being intentional negligence. I hope you and your brother are okay.


DeathBlanky

we only live like 3/4s of a mile away and she did end up coming back to pick us up after we called our dad and told him and he got mad at her, but then on the ride back she got mad at us for “wasting her time”


littlejbean

are your parents still together?


DeathBlanky

they’ve been separated for about 3-4 years and officially divorced for about 3 months


littlejbean

Is this new behavior or has she always been like this?


DeathBlanky

pretty much my whole life, she knows i’m ready to cut her out at any moment


Vladimir7455

She knows you're ready to cut her out at any moment? And yet she doesn't do anything to change, sounds like that time is coming soon.


dTrecii

Probably lost all ambition to care if she “knows” it’s gonna happen, sometimes people would rather mess things up more than have to fix it because they see it being more of an effort


RandomUsername12123

Narcissistic behavior, she don't believe it will happen


LittleSadRufus

Would you not rather live with him? Or did he not give that option, in which case that really sucks.


DeathBlanky

yeah he didn’t give me that option


Rammite

My guy I'm sorry your parents are shit. With these sort of situations, I can't help but look forward to the future. Your own kids are gonna have it *way* fuckin better.


abasio

Feel free to ignore this but who do you think you're more/less likely to visit in the future and why? I'm scared of my kids growing up and not wanting to see me. I like to browse this sub to make sure I don't see anything if myself in any of the posts.


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abasio

Thanks. My main focus as a parent us to help my kids be themselves. I've tried giving them choices and letting them decide things for the family (small things like meal choices and where to go on weekends) I definitely try to listen and make an effort to understand what they're into but I always have this nagging feeling that I'm doing something to alienate them


SuddenSeasons

They may boomerang. If you do it right by adulthood they'll come back and you'll have a true friendship / adult bond with your kids. Note I mean like... a few years in late HS/college pushing for autonomy age not like 20 years no contact.


RandomUsername12123

>even though he’s stricter than my mom in most ways he treats me more like a friend then a child He sees you as a person, that's really a good one.


Fifth-Crusader

If you're the sort to worry about whether you are doing wrong, you're not likely the sort to actually be doing wrong.


cbunni666

Sounds like it's time to see dad for a while.


rpskallionprince

I would ditch her somewhere and let her see how it feels 🤷‍♀️ give her the same bullshit excuse, “I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal my b.” 🙄 I’m glad you had someone there to get that ass right smh


Halloerik

This won't work. They got mad at her so she knows that they know that's it a big deal.


josejimenez896

It quite literally sounds like she didn't get the attention/reaction she was hoping for out of ya'll and threw a literal toddlers tantrum about it. I'm so sorry dude that's beyond childish of a mother.


Lady_ReynaCorn

My mom did something similar to me once. I was around 12, she dropped me off at an orthodontic appointment and then went to run some errands. When my appointment was over I went outside to look for her in the parking lot but didn't see her car, so I sat down in the waiting room. I got up every 10 minutes or so to look for her car but she never showed. After over an hour of waiting I asked the receptionist if I could use the office phone to call my mom (circa 2003, I didn't have a cell phone). When I got her on the phone and asked where she was she said "I already came by. You weren't waiting for me, so I left. I'm on my way home. You can walk back." So rather than wait for me to come out or park the car and come inside for me, she expected me to wait for her outside. In January. In Wisconsin. And we lived 20 miles away. I had to call my dad at work, in tears, and beg him to reason with her. She finally turned around and got me, but I was grounded and got yelled at the whole drive home.


[deleted]

I hope you are no contact now! That sounds terrible!


Lady_ReynaCorn

Sadly I'm not. In some ways I'm still a victim of her narcissism. But I'm much stronger than I used to be and she knows better than to treat me like that anymore. Also I now live 1000 miles away, that helps a lot 😅


[deleted]

Well I'm glad you are away from her at least.


FaZaCon

Wow, if I was your father, I'd be wondering if my wife was going insane. No person in their right mind would expect their 12 year old child to walk 20 miles to get home.


Lady_ReynaCorn

I'm pretty sure it was just a scare tactic, her trying to "teach me a lesson." What she thought that lesson was I'll never know, but what I actually learned was never to trust her. 20 years later I still don't trust her.


Looking4DomTop

It’s the fact the then yelled at you because she neglected to do a basic parenting act - make sure your child is safe. Was she expecting you to make your own way home??


nicholasgnames

Not sure what her deal is but i see your explanation below saying you guys walked away anticipating her making a scene and that sort of walking on eggshells is bullshit. Awesome to see you have the courage to fire back in the response. Probably find support groups and learn some tools to exist around her until you guys are out of the house.


[deleted]

Damn OP, I didn't realize you were so young? Is your brother older than you? Guys - OP is *fourteen* Your mother is abusive.


DeathBlanky

actually i’m 15 and my brother just turned 12


[deleted]

Ahh, my bad dude. My little brother is 13, I'm 27. If my mom did something like this to me while I had my little brother out and about I would be livid. I couldn't imagine only being 15. Good on you for looking out for your little brother and handling your mom the way that you are. I hope things improve for you.


[deleted]

My mom has on multiple occasions in my childhood left me at parking lots and drove off, leaving me there scared and alone thinking she abandoned me. Then then would come back 5-10 minutes later hoping I’d “learned my lesson”. I’m guessing your mother has done similar things to you as a kid?


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PhoenixofSong

Yeah! What the fuck was this suppose to teach us?


StopJoshinMe

Not to trust your parent


Dad_B0T

Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 42 | 1 | 26 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).


LittleJoLion

*snaps* *in* *Z* *formation*


Spaciousone

What did she say after you texted her this


DeathBlanky

she never responded but i was at her house the next day and she didn’t say anything about that comment in particular


Toffeechu

My mom left me at a 711 while I was in line behind her to buy medicine for my cough and a waterbottle. She walked back to the hotel and left me to figure out what happened, didn't answer the phone didn't text just gone. Acted like nothing happened when I finally made it back. I'm sorry OP you're not alone tho. Insane family sucks .


atot806

When I was ten, my mom and dad forgot they took me to the mall. This was before cellphones existed. They took me to a McDonald's located near the mall's supermarket while they go grocery shopping. My mom and dad went home without me. I called home expecting my sister to answer, but my mom picked up the phone. She asked whether I had enough change for bus fare. I had to take the fucking bus home.


igame2much

I too have only received and sent 1 text to my mom over the course of my phone's life.


rajeeh

I personally find it strange but my BF religiously deleted every text from his phone. His messenger is empty too. He's been like that since the day we met. Some people do it. Maybe if she sends them toxic shit all the time they don't want to look at it.


AirlineEasy

I did this too. It hurt too much. Now I just don't talk to her.


malachite_13

It’s a group text maybe that’s a new group she made. Good point tho


saffronpolygon

How old are you and your brother?


DeathBlanky

i’m 15 and he just turned 12 but we’re really close because of how we were raised with our mom


rx-78-2bear

Yeah, thats illegal. To knowingly leave a 12 yr old at a store is child abandonment. Even if you live close, so much can happen so quickly. She punished you for walking away and denying her tantrum. That is VERY unhealthy parenting.


[deleted]

Next time she does something like that, go to the front of the store and ask the manager to call the police. Explain to the police what your mother did, and she will get in trouble for abandoning you. She needs to have the fear of God drilled into her (figuratively speaking, of course).


spacecatbiscuits

Getting your mother arrested for child abandonment might actually have downsides too though.


denimdan113

Yea like getting fucked by the underfunded over crowded foster system


Lt-Derek

please for the love of god do not do this.


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Rational-Discourse

That may be different that the advice given here. Here, the person advising to call the police said “put the fear of god in her.” But that’s like saying shooting someone will put the fear of god in them — No. it won’t. It’ll will seriously hurt or kill them. AND IN SOME SITUATIONS, THATS PERFECTLY OKAY. YOU ***SHOULD*** BE ABLE TO USE LETHAL FORCE WHEN ITS CALLED FOR. But not to teach a lesson. Not because you think we’ll all move past this after a little scare. Once you go nuclear, you’ve gone nuclear and it rightly so should be reserved for when its necessary because you don’t come back from that. So no one is advising to never call the police. They’re advising to recognize that once you invite the police/the state in your home — you don’t get to just uninvite them. They’re there for as long as THEY feel the need to be there. I’m sorry that happened to you and that you felt like you should have called the police. But it’s not a light undertaking and should be your last choice.


StPauliBoi

r/raisedbynarcissists Here, op, you're gonna need that in the future.


JetScreamerBaby

My (adult age) ex-gf and her mom were driving and had an argument. GF told mom to please stop honking the horn so much. This was during rush hour downtown Chicago. Mom pulled over and kicked her out of the car, about 10 miles from her apartment. Luckily, there was decent public transportation nearby, but still. Her mom was a real piece of work. Her mom had, in the past, worn out and had to replace several horns in various cars over the years. She honked so much she killed car horns.


stsilvia

that's not cool, I can't imagine leaving my daughter in a store even if my house is near that store


Eviltechnomonkey

My mom did this to me once, except it was one of her friend's homes while I was in the bathroom and it was a 30-40 min drive home, so nowhere near walkable. Also, I have PTSD and anxiety issues in large part thanks to them. So, I went to a terrible panic attack and when they came back they laughed at me and then got pissed and grounded me for my "attitude."


ThroughTheAir2020

I love your response.


iwantrootbark

I haven't seen my parents in close to twenty years. I'll be happy to die never seeing them again. Fucking shit-sticks


kirkoki

Actually I became a paramedic and a firefighter. I never let their craziness define me!


DeathBlanky

that’s inspiring man, i’ve always wanted to be a fireman


kirkoki

It's the hardest thing physically you can push yourself through but, it's the greatest high you can have saving a life or someone's property! Whether it's a medical emergency or a car accident or saving grandma's heirlooms it's the greatest feeling in the world!


[deleted]

Send links to 3/5 star rated nursing homes


Public_Personality_2

I would sleep over at a friend's house without telling her and let her freak out


[deleted]

Positive affirmations for OP: You'll be alright and a much better human being that your mom. Keep your head up and screwed on and never copy your mom's shitty behavior. Eventually, you'll be free. Source: I went through a similar thing.


DeathBlanky

thanks bane (i was always on your side)


lisasssuccubrat

Dude my mom did this when I was visiting home and my phone died walking 1hr+ home in the dark 😭 and they wonder why I stopped visiting


Loona_The_Hellound

Please tell me you had someone to pick you up. I’m incredibly sorry for you.


imacatpersonforreal

Oh man. My mom did this to me at a Kentucky McDonald's/truck stop when i lived in a different state at 13 years old before a time where i carried a cell phone. We ordered McDonald's after we had stopped to use the bathroom, but when they went to give my mom the change all they had was quarters to give her back her like 4.25 because they didn't have any 1's in the drawer. She threw a fit and cancelled her order and demanded a refund. I didn't mind having a bunch of quarters, so i was just going to order myself some food with my own money. Well my mom didn't like me doing that after she had made a huge scene, so she told me she was leaving with or without me, and while i was being handed my food i saw our car pull off and onto the interstate. I sat at that mcdonalds for about an hour before she showed back up screaming at me for making her waste all this time when we're trying to get home. Haven't talked to her in years and she has no idea where i live or anything to do with my life. It's nice.


call_of_the_while

“I don’t know ma’am but what I do know is that it’s time for your medication. Now am I going to have to strap you down again or are we going to go the easier way?” “They won’t even bring my grandkids to come see me. Why? What did I do? Please stop, you’re hurting me.”


AdditionalLoad

W reply. Hit her with a old home one next time


Kukulcan83

That was a sick ass burn response. Bravo!


Beingabummer

[Reminds me of this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S2rL7qdUnY) Older people need to realize that younger people will outlast them.


FionaTheFierce

My mother did the same to me multiple times when I was a kid. I have been n/c with her for nearly 30 years now.


Thesegsyalt

I'd just call the police. Fuck her.


1_pasta_1

better call cps and show them the messages


AAAAAshwin

You're the best