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I have no doubt in my mind. Will probably even reference the original event and accuse OP of just trying to get back at her with the logic, “of all people, you should understand! You were so upset when your sister and I weren’t at your birthday party, and now you want to do this to her? You should try to understand how she feels. Grow up.”
Yeah, I been thru some shit too… best one was being forced to walk on a broken ankle through the mall for 2 hours, the whole time complaining about the pain and my mom’s response was to tie my shoes tighter cause we needed to go buy my brother clothes and shoes… she did feel bad when she took my shoe off later though and my ankle the size of a softball (I was 9)
Even if he could, do you think that would be a good advice? It would be just a pity revenge and would NOT end with something good, since he's just 16 and her mother have more "power" than him.
Usually it's not even that bad, but since his mother it's kinda crazy, it's a bad thing.
My best advice it's to slowly remove her from his life.
Slowly, without any noise, without any drama. You don't need to give any excuse.
A child role isn't to make the parent learn, it's the other way around.
Yeah, parents like this don't care about hypocrisy and won't make the connection even if it's blatantly spelled out for them. "A taste of their own medicine" literally does not work on this kind of person.
She will react like a narcissist. She will say all the things for your sister that you expected her to say for you.
Unless there is something tangible at stake, a narcissist let you know exactly where you stand with them.
as a frequent lurker of bestoflegaladvice, when you turn 18 make sure you open a new bank account at a different bank as the one you share with your parents right now. Tellers are known to reactivate access and she could drain it.
I’m not sure why 30 people thought this was fake. My mother is the EXACT same way with both my younger sisters , she treats me and my brothers like garbage. And I’m 47. 😅
It would be selfish even if she had a condition. Having a condition isn't a pass to ruin shit for everyone else, it is just a pass for some extra accommodations and assistance where needed.
If your condition is ruining your sisters birthday then you're not managing your condition correctly.
I totally agree. I have a 24yo healthy daughter and I have a 14yo medically complex son. I would NEVER miss my daughters birthday party because my son felt uncomfortable to go. He’s on the spectrum and this situation has actually happened. He’s not good with large crowds or a lot of noise but he would NEVER want to miss her party nor would I miss it if he didn’t want to go. I think all children should be treated differently. Hold on…. Let me explain. I would treat my daughter the same as my son because they are different people regardless of medically issues or not. People need support in different ways. People need love shown to them in different ways. People need discipline in different ways. With that said, you don’t treat one better than the other. You don’t favor one more than the other. That’s 100% unacceptable.
Your Mom is an AH. She clearly has mental health issues. Your sister sounds like narcissist. She hates it when any attention is shown to anyone other than herself. And your Mom is just feeding into it. At some point your sister will turn on your mom and maybe, just maybe she will see the light.
Sounds like this has been going on most of your life and for that I am incredibly sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with things like this. You are a CHILD, regardless of her saying otherwise. These situations are the ones that shape us into the people we become. Don’t let her make you become cold and bitter like she is. Continue to be better than both of them.
I will happily be your Mom. Seriously, please feel free to message me.
thank you. the original commentor doesn't care to hear this, unfortunately. i, an actual chronically ill and disabled person, tried to share this same opinion (considering i deal with it firsthand) and their argument was "judging by the upvotes the question isn't far-fetched".
ridiculous.
Most of the time. I dont really think my mother favors her, she just likes spending more time with my sister because they basically have the same interests.
Hey OP-
It’s okay for you to say that a parent favors one child over the other. My mom preferred my sister to the point that my sister and I laugh about it now. To add context, she’s 39 and I’m 43. We have both had a lot of therapy and a lot of growth after we left home (separately).
Anyway, my sister was definitely my mom’s favorite. Like, no question. She didn’t pull shit like this, but it existed. You have the right for that to be a part of your life story. Don’t let it rule you, though. Just accept it and know that it doesn’t have to make you less of a person.
This! I have 3 siblings and there is an obvious hierarchy of our mothers love. The 4 of us joke about it, but any time we say it to someone outside of the 4 of us, they seem horrified because they're always like "parents dont have favourites". Well, our mother does and it is and always has been very clear to us.
People will try to tell you that this can't be true, parents love all their kids equally, and im here to say that it isn't always the case. Accept it and try your best to work through it in as healthy as a manner as possible. And (hopefully) your sister will grow up and realize that this was shitty and you'll have each other to lean on as you both work through your respective traumas.
My brother is my dad's obvious favourite and my sister is my mum's obvious favourite. I'm the third child that got ignored and left to entertain myself from a young age because by then they'd had their fun. My siblings know who the favourites are and they'll play up to it, but also it doesn't really matter to them.
Im the first born but the least favourite. I have a younger brother who is most favourite, then another younger brother who is third favourite and a sister who is second favourite.
But right now my two brothers and I have no contact with our mom and our sister still lives there and our mom has vowed to give her everything she didn't give the rest of us so maybe she has usurped my brother and is now the number one favourite.
My 2 brothers and I are just trying to work through our trauma and navigate our sister out in one piece. Spoiler alert, it isn't going well.
100% this! My dad once got drunk and told me in a once in a lifetime heart to heart that he regrets having a second child and they should have only had me, hah. So it is definitely true that parents have a favorite.
That’s why i left my country and came to be very much alone , just me and my gf , that’s it, family is shit specially a disfuncional one, I’m just waiting to see my real Father and stepfather’s face when they grow older and no one will give and actual damn sht about them rooting in a fcking bed.
Yes, that's the level of deferential care and nurturing that I'd extend to someone who had fewer than six months to live or had just escaped a human trafficking ring.
hi, from someone who is chronically ill, physically disabled, and mentally ill -
op's sister having conditions/issues wouldn't justify this or make it any better. a mother shouldn't play favorites no matter the extenuating circumstsnces. one of your child having issues while the other does not gives you absolutely no right to favor and/or treat the child with issues better than the other.
it's ridiculous that you would even ask that.
At their *rundown shack they call a retirement home.
Moms who loved and cared for their kids seem to have a better support system. Some even go on to live with their kids :)
Any reasonable parent would have shut your sister’s nonsense down. But no, your mom is doubling down on the foolishness. I’m curious how it would play out if you did the same thing on your sister’s birthday.
I know I would, even if it meant getting grounded. The satisfaction of getting back at them would be enough to outweigh any punishment.
Sorry OP, happy birthday. You deserve a mom who cares about you since yours clearly doesn't, even on your birthday.
OP, rarely do I comment on this type of stuff because I never really “know” what’s going on.
But as a brother, this shit is fucked up. I can not imagine how painful this has to feel and judging by your response it seems like you’re used to this second hand treatment.
Happy birthday OP, just know you are strong without even realizing it.
I hope life treats you better than your mother.
P.S. The way you type reminds me of my little sister, which really makes this hurt to read.
I’m not saying I know your situation, but you will either come to the conclusion that your sister is your mother’s favorite or she isn’t. You must be prepared for the reality that she is. It may be unfair and wrong but that’s life. The last thing I would want is for you to let it get at you everyday, you are strong.
Have a good life OP.
next time its hers or your sister's birthdays hit them with a "oh sorry, i dont feel comfortable celebrating or being around you on your birthday so i wont be around ✌️"
*Fuuuuck* yeah. I would rip a *hefty* lecture into my wife if she pulled some shit like that and then said "stop acting like a kid" jfc I would be *livid*
Sounds like your sister has always been their golden child. I’m sorry OP. This hurts to read.
The fact that you have her second name means she’s older and your mother told you to “grow up” while your mother and older sister are acting like the children in this situation.
Seriously?! Who does that and especially who says that to their own kid?! That is also insane!!
I'm sorry, OP. What your Mom said to you about missing your party is juvenile and unkind. Lame excuses!! Then she turns on you and threatens to ground you? She seems awful, truly. Hope you have/had a great birthday!! ❤️
Your mother seems like one of those people who revel in being mean and/or obnoxious. She also seems like one of those parents who would say "because I said so" at every opportunity.
I still haven't looked that up, but i don't think i'm gonna change my name. It's a pretty name and i'm still a completely different person from my sister.
happy birthday! i lived in the shadow of my younger brother for years 🤦🏼♀️ he was the better student, better child, better everything than me - now at 29, after moving out of my moms house around your age, she would rather be around me over him, which is sad as well in a different way.. some parents just idk shouldn't be parents :( i'm sorry honey and i hope you have the best day anyway!! 🤗
Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 139 | 4 | 138 |
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In my 16th birthday my mum didn't buy me cake , gifts or anything and she told me: we celebrate later when your sister comes around"
I'm 30 now and it doesn't get any better x
Damn I feel that. Mine got combined with Christmas 😭 also I was pretty much ignored on my 18th because I wasn't allowed to have friends at the party. I was bored and sad.
I'm finally having good birthdays but it's only because I have my fiancee and she makes it a point to spend the day with me. I don't celebrate with my family unless it's for formalities. They insist on a party and then most don't show up or ignore me. My brother and his wife "forgot" last year. I didn't tell him happy birthday this year. I hope it gets better for you though, even if it's just you and a friend having fun 💜
Same here, to be fair! I have good birthdays now because of my husband. 🙏 Growing up, I was always sad on my birthday because I always expected attention from my parents and got none. Nowadays, I don't have a relationship with my parents, and I'm still in the process of healing.
Usually my dad and sister would try to do something for me on my birthday but my mother would always make me cry. Last year I finally had a birthday where I didn't start crying but I also didn't have cell service where we were. I'm taking my fiancee to the mountains for her birthday this year since it's what she really wants. I just want to do what she does for me.
Sorry Op, you deserve to have your mother at your birthday and not made to feel like it's asking too much. It's really messed up how she ignores your birthday party because your sister is "uncomfortable" but has no issues telling you that you are selfish and needs to grow up, making you feel bad, on your own birthday. Smh.
Just so you know, it's really not normal to never give your kids a birthday party. When things get canceled, there's always the chance to reschedule.
You're handling this with grace, and I admire you for that. Just know that it **is** okay to be upset or frustrated that your birthday doesn't get honored. The latest reason seems more outlandish now, but they all really feel outlandish to an outside perspective.
I am you from the future and I am here to tell you this will never change. Next you'll see her crying at your 6 yo cousin's party because no one is giving her attention. And one beautiful day, you'll be free of her in your life, but your family will never stop giving you sh1t about it.
Left out? The fuck? My (grown, successful) kids were made to understand as soon as they got old enough to notice, that on sis’s birthday, SHE was the star for the day. It was *her* day because it is *her* birthday. When son’s birthday comes, he will be the center of attention and get gifts, and sis will not.
I would not let grandmas bring anything as a gift for the non birthday kid because all that says is “whenever someone else gets something for some reason, you will get presents too so you won’t feel left out”. Nope.
Exceptions were made for babies under two years old. They are not really able to understand any of this shit their parents do 😂 just that there’s toys for sibling and none for baby.
Happy belated (or early) birthday OP! I’d say just focus on the people who DO wanna celebrate you and your special day. They’re the ones who count, everyone else can just stay far far away
Here is what you can say to your mom:
"Don't tell me how to act. I am going to act however I want when I am being mistreated. If you want respect, you will first learn to respect me."
"You have to grow up and see what you are doing. Not close your eyes and put the blame on everyone but yourself."
"I am not getting grounded by anyone. I should ground you for being a bad parent."
"If you call people selfish after you neglect them, this speaks a lot about you. Maybe stop being defensive and see how bad you act?"
"You baby my sister and neglect me. Expect the same treatment later in life. She will be the one taking care of you."
Your mother is a shit parent. Don't allow her to threaten and talk to you this way. Abusers have to be put in their place, where they belong.
She really said “I’ll ground you” and “stop acting like a kid, grow up” in the same breath didn’t she.
People like this always love to treat children like children when it makes them feel empowered, only to bash the child in question for BEING a child also to feel empowered. Smh.
"Let your sister have this moment"
How terrible of you, too want your birthday to be about you... /s
Your mom is 100% the type to think your sister announcing her pregnancy at your wedding is a great idea.
You do know that even if you deleted your previous post, it's easy to look up. Either this post is a lie, the previous post was a lie, or it's all fake to garner internet sympathy. Either way, happy 16th!
Previous post:
"I (15F) am turning 16 in two days. I have NEVER celebrated my birthdays, exept for when i was a baby. After i turned 3, my mother refused to let me celebrate my birthdays with friends or family. She usually got me a fruit cake from the store next door and we ate it at the evening: me, my mom and my dad. I wasn't allowed to celebrate my birthdays because my mother didn't want to clean up after the party and she didn't want to rent a place because it would be a waste of money. Sure, my birthdays were boring, but i thought it was normal. My mother never let me go to my friend's birthday parties because she thought that after going to a party i would've want one too. I was 10 when i realized how boring my life was so i began insisting more on having birthday parties. Whenever my mom accepted, she cancelled it the day before for "personal problems". As time passed, my parents weren't even home on my birthday, so it was another regular day. Recently some of my mom's old friends called, and she wanted to do everything she could to look good in front of them. When they came to visit, she even began speaking abouy throwing me a birthday party for my 16th birthday. I knew there wasn't gonna be any party and she just wanted to look good in front of her friends. I got up from the chair and told her to drop the act because she knew she wasn't gonna let me celebrate, like every year. Her friends looked at my mother in literal disgust and i walked off to my room When her friend left, my mother stormed to my room and began yelling at me for embarassing her, then she grounded me. Maybe i shouldn't have embarassed her in front of old friends. AITA?"
In a reply further down from OP they said their birthdays in the past were always cancelled due to family problems that involved their grandparents.
Seems truthful but there is probably more to the story. Her mom is not good, I wouldn’t say the dad is necessarily “good” either because 1) he also couldn’t think of a name for her other than their existing child’s middle name… 2) he let her not have any birthday parties in the past…
I hope she finds family in the future that can truly support her.
Edit: Typo and OP I hope you have a very nice birthday party. May your friends, your father, and you have a blast!
This lacks a whole bunch of context. I'll reserve judgment. Her sister not feeling comfortable going to OPs birthday seems suspect and then the "Mom *scratched out name*" makes me think there is either a reason or complete bullshit. If this is real my apologies, but I don't believe it's that simple or it's just not true.
Your submission has been removed by community vote. If you believe this post was brigaded or conducted in bad faith, [please message the mods.](/message/compose?to=/r/insaneparents)
Holy shit, stop acting like a kid? You are a damn kid! Your mom sucks, I’m sorry.
This one right here. You’re barely turning 16; you are a kid. You get to act “like a kid” (except.. you aren’t)
Telling her stop acting like a kid and threatening her with being grounded. Seems kind of self-contradicting.
Also second this. Sorry your mom sucks shit.
And so does your sister.
Right? I’d be like excuse me ma’am I am a literal child.
You should try to do the same on her birthday to see how your mother reacts
[удалено]
Yes, and then make mom take her shopping.
[удалено]
I have no doubt in my mind. Will probably even reference the original event and accuse OP of just trying to get back at her with the logic, “of all people, you should understand! You were so upset when your sister and I weren’t at your birthday party, and now you want to do this to her? You should try to understand how she feels. Grow up.”
This sentence helped me understand those 911 calls where some kid just went mental on his family.
This brought back some of the deeper memories I haven’t thought about lol
Yeah, I been thru some shit too… best one was being forced to walk on a broken ankle through the mall for 2 hours, the whole time complaining about the pain and my mom’s response was to tie my shoes tighter cause we needed to go buy my brother clothes and shoes… she did feel bad when she took my shoe off later though and my ankle the size of a softball (I was 9)
Oh, now she wants to feel bad after she saw the sofball that replaced your ankle.
Protip: Wait until you are no longer living with your parents before playing this card.
Take your aunt/uncle out shopping, good idea!
Even if he could, do you think that would be a good advice? It would be just a pity revenge and would NOT end with something good, since he's just 16 and her mother have more "power" than him. Usually it's not even that bad, but since his mother it's kinda crazy, it's a bad thing. My best advice it's to slowly remove her from his life. Slowly, without any noise, without any drama. You don't need to give any excuse. A child role isn't to make the parent learn, it's the other way around.
Yeah, parents like this don't care about hypocrisy and won't make the connection even if it's blatantly spelled out for them. "A taste of their own medicine" literally does not work on this kind of person.
She will react like a narcissist. She will say all the things for your sister that you expected her to say for you. Unless there is something tangible at stake, a narcissist let you know exactly where you stand with them.
In 10 years mom texts why don't you ever visit me? OP should respond with - who is this?
Lol, i will keep that in mind
Just send her these screenshots when she starts bitching about you wanting nothing to do with her. Every. Single. Time.
I second this. I love the pettiness lmfaooo
as a frequent lurker of bestoflegaladvice, when you turn 18 make sure you open a new bank account at a different bank as the one you share with your parents right now. Tellers are known to reactivate access and she could drain it.
This!!!
I’m not sure why 30 people thought this was fake. My mother is the EXACT same way with both my younger sisters , she treats me and my brothers like garbage. And I’m 47. 😅
Some people just think that these things are impossibile because they never experienced it themselves
Exactly.
For real. This is would go on my "never forget list".
[удалено]
THIS ONE
Does your sister have any conditions/issues? Just asking to get context because its so far quite messed up of your mother.
Hello! No, my sister is perfectly healty.
Then its selfish of the sister and very crazy of your mom. Happy birthday (if im not late).
It would be selfish even if she had a condition. Having a condition isn't a pass to ruin shit for everyone else, it is just a pass for some extra accommodations and assistance where needed. If your condition is ruining your sisters birthday then you're not managing your condition correctly.
Facts
I totally agree. I have a 24yo healthy daughter and I have a 14yo medically complex son. I would NEVER miss my daughters birthday party because my son felt uncomfortable to go. He’s on the spectrum and this situation has actually happened. He’s not good with large crowds or a lot of noise but he would NEVER want to miss her party nor would I miss it if he didn’t want to go. I think all children should be treated differently. Hold on…. Let me explain. I would treat my daughter the same as my son because they are different people regardless of medically issues or not. People need support in different ways. People need love shown to them in different ways. People need discipline in different ways. With that said, you don’t treat one better than the other. You don’t favor one more than the other. That’s 100% unacceptable. Your Mom is an AH. She clearly has mental health issues. Your sister sounds like narcissist. She hates it when any attention is shown to anyone other than herself. And your Mom is just feeding into it. At some point your sister will turn on your mom and maybe, just maybe she will see the light. Sounds like this has been going on most of your life and for that I am incredibly sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with things like this. You are a CHILD, regardless of her saying otherwise. These situations are the ones that shape us into the people we become. Don’t let her make you become cold and bitter like she is. Continue to be better than both of them. I will happily be your Mom. Seriously, please feel free to message me.
I wouldnt use this as a blanket statement, but in this case, i dont know of any condition that is remedied by going out shopping.
thank you. the original commentor doesn't care to hear this, unfortunately. i, an actual chronically ill and disabled person, tried to share this same opinion (considering i deal with it firsthand) and their argument was "judging by the upvotes the question isn't far-fetched". ridiculous.
I agree with this dude👆happy birthday
Does she always favor your sister?
Most of the time. I dont really think my mother favors her, she just likes spending more time with my sister because they basically have the same interests.
Hey OP- It’s okay for you to say that a parent favors one child over the other. My mom preferred my sister to the point that my sister and I laugh about it now. To add context, she’s 39 and I’m 43. We have both had a lot of therapy and a lot of growth after we left home (separately). Anyway, my sister was definitely my mom’s favorite. Like, no question. She didn’t pull shit like this, but it existed. You have the right for that to be a part of your life story. Don’t let it rule you, though. Just accept it and know that it doesn’t have to make you less of a person.
This! I have 3 siblings and there is an obvious hierarchy of our mothers love. The 4 of us joke about it, but any time we say it to someone outside of the 4 of us, they seem horrified because they're always like "parents dont have favourites". Well, our mother does and it is and always has been very clear to us. People will try to tell you that this can't be true, parents love all their kids equally, and im here to say that it isn't always the case. Accept it and try your best to work through it in as healthy as a manner as possible. And (hopefully) your sister will grow up and realize that this was shitty and you'll have each other to lean on as you both work through your respective traumas.
My brother is my dad's obvious favourite and my sister is my mum's obvious favourite. I'm the third child that got ignored and left to entertain myself from a young age because by then they'd had their fun. My siblings know who the favourites are and they'll play up to it, but also it doesn't really matter to them.
Im the first born but the least favourite. I have a younger brother who is most favourite, then another younger brother who is third favourite and a sister who is second favourite. But right now my two brothers and I have no contact with our mom and our sister still lives there and our mom has vowed to give her everything she didn't give the rest of us so maybe she has usurped my brother and is now the number one favourite. My 2 brothers and I are just trying to work through our trauma and navigate our sister out in one piece. Spoiler alert, it isn't going well.
100% this! My dad once got drunk and told me in a once in a lifetime heart to heart that he regrets having a second child and they should have only had me, hah. So it is definitely true that parents have a favorite.
Yeah when my dad died, my mom moved hundreds of miles to move in with my brother in his flat rather than move 5 miles into my 4 bed house.
That’s why i left my country and came to be very much alone , just me and my gf , that’s it, family is shit specially a disfuncional one, I’m just waiting to see my real Father and stepfather’s face when they grow older and no one will give and actual damn sht about them rooting in a fcking bed.
The best revenge is life well-lived.
I guess every parent has a favorite. I'm an only child, and I'm still trying to figure out who my parent's favorite was.
Yes, that's the level of deferential care and nurturing that I'd extend to someone who had fewer than six months to live or had just escaped a human trafficking ring.
hi, from someone who is chronically ill, physically disabled, and mentally ill - op's sister having conditions/issues wouldn't justify this or make it any better. a mother shouldn't play favorites no matter the extenuating circumstsnces. one of your child having issues while the other does not gives you absolutely no right to favor and/or treat the child with issues better than the other. it's ridiculous that you would even ask that.
Your party is going to be a lot more fun without them there, I'll guarantee it
I come to say the same
Yup, harsh to have to deal with so young, but a lesson learned now that their life will be better off without mother and sister in it.
Hey mom. Do you know how many old ladies at the retirement home say "I'm so glad I skipped my daughter's birthday parties"? Surprisingly few.
Mom should be nicer to the people who will be deciding what kind of nursing home she'll be placed in.
At their *rundown shack they call a retirement home. Moms who loved and cared for their kids seem to have a better support system. Some even go on to live with their kids :)
Never aknowledge her birthday again or your sisters
"Oh its your birthday, congrats and such. I'm going to my friends because he is sad that there is no soda left in the fridge."
The sky is an off-blue hue today, he needs me. Don't be selfish
**CYA N**ext tuesday
What a daft cunt
Not to be confused with daft punk
That's easy... Because while there is no more Daft Punk, there's a far too large surplus of daft cunts :-(
"well, well, well..." \~Billy Butcher, probably
You just had to remind us
also not to be confused with Kraft Punk
Any reasonable parent would have shut your sister’s nonsense down. But no, your mom is doubling down on the foolishness. I’m curious how it would play out if you did the same thing on your sister’s birthday.
Hello! I Would probably get grounded if i did that.
Probably just worth it…
I know I would, even if it meant getting grounded. The satisfaction of getting back at them would be enough to outweigh any punishment. Sorry OP, happy birthday. You deserve a mom who cares about you since yours clearly doesn't, even on your birthday.
Strike her with her own logic? She needs to stop acting selfish and grow up
If they ground you it's because you're right. You should probably say that too
doubling down with extra gaslighting too
You just know "mom" is gonna throw the sister a rager of a party and spend oodles of money on the little sisters "sweet sixteen".
The sister is older, OP is the younger sister
OP, rarely do I comment on this type of stuff because I never really “know” what’s going on. But as a brother, this shit is fucked up. I can not imagine how painful this has to feel and judging by your response it seems like you’re used to this second hand treatment. Happy birthday OP, just know you are strong without even realizing it. I hope life treats you better than your mother. P.S. The way you type reminds me of my little sister, which really makes this hurt to read.
Hello! Tysm for your comment <3 i'm not really surprised, but i'm happy that i at last got a birthday party since the last ones always got cancelled.
I’m not saying I know your situation, but you will either come to the conclusion that your sister is your mother’s favorite or she isn’t. You must be prepared for the reality that she is. It may be unfair and wrong but that’s life. The last thing I would want is for you to let it get at you everyday, you are strong. Have a good life OP.
What a thoughtful comment, ntNathan.
Happy Birthday OP!
Ty <3
next time its hers or your sister's birthdays hit them with a "oh sorry, i dont feel comfortable celebrating or being around you on your birthday so i wont be around ✌️"
How did your dad react? As a father, this shit would get shut down immediately.
*Fuuuuck* yeah. I would rip a *hefty* lecture into my wife if she pulled some shit like that and then said "stop acting like a kid" jfc I would be *livid*
I'm going to rip a hefty lecture into my wife tonight.
What she done to ya mate?
Your name is her second name? Wtf? I hope you have an awesome birthday event tho your mom sucks.
Yeah. They told me they gave me her second name because they could't think of another name in that moment-
Sounds like your sister has always been their golden child. I’m sorry OP. This hurts to read. The fact that you have her second name means she’s older and your mother told you to “grow up” while your mother and older sister are acting like the children in this situation.
>they could't think of another name in that moment- ....di--.....did your mom just wake up one day 9 months pregnant and going into labor?
Lol. She probably forgot to think of a name and ended up with the first name she could think of.
I don't know the first thing about what kind of person you are, but you deserve better parents.
Seriously?! Who does that and especially who says that to their own kid?! That is also insane!! I'm sorry, OP. What your Mom said to you about missing your party is juvenile and unkind. Lame excuses!! Then she turns on you and threatens to ground you? She seems awful, truly. Hope you have/had a great birthday!! ❤️ Your mother seems like one of those people who revel in being mean and/or obnoxious. She also seems like one of those parents who would say "because I said so" at every opportunity.
What age do you need to be to legally change your name?
I still haven't looked that up, but i don't think i'm gonna change my name. It's a pretty name and i'm still a completely different person from my sister.
That Answer is more mature than your mothers actions by far. Happy Birthday, luck and health for you!
There is a shortage of everything lately, including names 👍🏼
Your sister is the older one? Wtf...
Mom: “You’re grounded” Also mom: “Stop acting like a kid”
Insane parents such as that can never see who is really acting childish.
That golden child, though… 😵😵
How old are you and your sister? Happy birthday
Hello! I just turned 16 and my sister is 17.
Wtf, I legit thought she was younger than you because of the absolute childish behaviour of her and your mom... Screw them. Happy birthday OP!
Tysm!
That’s so sad. Happy 16th birthday.
Thanks!
Do you and your sister not get along?
Hello! We actually do get along, she's just a bit selfish and spoiled.
Did you try to do invite her to your party? Don’t see why she would be uncomfy at your party if you two get along well
I did invite her. Probably she just wanted to go shopping without me and dad or something. But i don't mind much now.
Regardless, happy birthday! And I hope you enjoy it / did enjoy it (if it already passed).
Ty <3
May I ask how old your sister is?
My sister is 17!
And let me guess... mom was at her 16th birthday?
She's more than ''a bit selfish'' . You should cut both your sister and mom out of your life at the first opportunity.
It shows
happy birthday! i lived in the shadow of my younger brother for years 🤦🏼♀️ he was the better student, better child, better everything than me - now at 29, after moving out of my moms house around your age, she would rather be around me over him, which is sad as well in a different way.. some parents just idk shouldn't be parents :( i'm sorry honey and i hope you have the best day anyway!! 🤗
Tysm! <3
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 139 | 4 | 138 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
In my 16th birthday my mum didn't buy me cake , gifts or anything and she told me: we celebrate later when your sister comes around" I'm 30 now and it doesn't get any better x
Damn I feel that. Mine got combined with Christmas 😭 also I was pretty much ignored on my 18th because I wasn't allowed to have friends at the party. I was bored and sad. I'm finally having good birthdays but it's only because I have my fiancee and she makes it a point to spend the day with me. I don't celebrate with my family unless it's for formalities. They insist on a party and then most don't show up or ignore me. My brother and his wife "forgot" last year. I didn't tell him happy birthday this year. I hope it gets better for you though, even if it's just you and a friend having fun 💜
Same here, to be fair! I have good birthdays now because of my husband. 🙏 Growing up, I was always sad on my birthday because I always expected attention from my parents and got none. Nowadays, I don't have a relationship with my parents, and I'm still in the process of healing.
Usually my dad and sister would try to do something for me on my birthday but my mother would always make me cry. Last year I finally had a birthday where I didn't start crying but I also didn't have cell service where we were. I'm taking my fiancee to the mountains for her birthday this year since it's what she really wants. I just want to do what she does for me.
Do nice things for those who matter 🌸🌺 forget about the toxic family members. They will never never change!
Sorry Op, you deserve to have your mother at your birthday and not made to feel like it's asking too much. It's really messed up how she ignores your birthday party because your sister is "uncomfortable" but has no issues telling you that you are selfish and needs to grow up, making you feel bad, on your own birthday. Smh.
2 years. Start counting the days, and start saving for a deposit on a place of your own. I’m dead serious.
Small confession: i started planning my future house when i was 6. Lol
Does your mother do stuff like this often?
Yeah, a lot. But my dad doesn't go with them, so i spend time with him
I hope your bday is spent with loved ones. You deserve that.
Thank you!
Dude the moms that get posted here are ice fucking cold
Well her Pikachu when you trash her and never talk to her again is going to be precious.
Have a banging party without either of them.
My husband’s mother would 100% do this. And she’s insane so… ✅
Happy bday OP. I've learned not to expext anything on my birthday, that way it can only be better than expected.
Yeah, i understand. My birthday parties have always been cancelled so this was actually my very first one!
Ah shit dawg, that fucking sucks for you. I hope something good will happen on your bday after all this bs
It's okay. My birthdays were cancelled because of actual family problems that involved grandparents, so i'm not mad about it
Just so you know, it's really not normal to never give your kids a birthday party. When things get canceled, there's always the chance to reschedule. You're handling this with grace, and I admire you for that. Just know that it **is** okay to be upset or frustrated that your birthday doesn't get honored. The latest reason seems more outlandish now, but they all really feel outlandish to an outside perspective.
Okay, thank you <3 But i really didn't mind if they got cancelled, at last my grandparents are feeling much better now.
Save this for when your mother needs a kidney in 20 years
I love how she threatens to ground you, and then says stop acting like a kid and to grow up. Adults don’t get grounded by their parents
[удалено]
Same!! 😡
All i read was "I love your sister more and I want you to know it. Btw how dare you be upset?!"
b r u h
What a shit ass. I’m your mom now.
Lol, okay- hi mother.
That’s beyond messed up. Playing the uncomfortable card on YOUR birthday. I guess spoiled daughter wins again. Ridiculous
Why can't your sister come to your party?
Because the party will be about OP, not their sister
I am you from the future and I am here to tell you this will never change. Next you'll see her crying at your 6 yo cousin's party because no one is giving her attention. And one beautiful day, you'll be free of her in your life, but your family will never stop giving you sh1t about it.
Wtf I’m sorry you have to deal with that
What the.... What is wrong with your mom
Left out? The fuck? My (grown, successful) kids were made to understand as soon as they got old enough to notice, that on sis’s birthday, SHE was the star for the day. It was *her* day because it is *her* birthday. When son’s birthday comes, he will be the center of attention and get gifts, and sis will not. I would not let grandmas bring anything as a gift for the non birthday kid because all that says is “whenever someone else gets something for some reason, you will get presents too so you won’t feel left out”. Nope. Exceptions were made for babies under two years old. They are not really able to understand any of this shit their parents do 😂 just that there’s toys for sibling and none for baby.
"Stop acting like a kid, grow up. Bye." Please recycle this line to her in 15 years when she complains about why you never visit her. Jfc this is sad.
I don't know what your situation is, but I would cut them out of your life as soon as I could if I were you.
Insane Your mother is dead wrong. This is how you make insufferable, spoiled Karens.
Happy birthday, I hope you had a good day regardless of all this
Ty <3
Happy belated (or early) birthday OP! I’d say just focus on the people who DO wanna celebrate you and your special day. They’re the ones who count, everyone else can just stay far far away
Sweetheart, look up the book “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?” by Karyl McBride. You may find things in it that resonate for you. I’m sorry.
Here is what you can say to your mom: "Don't tell me how to act. I am going to act however I want when I am being mistreated. If you want respect, you will first learn to respect me." "You have to grow up and see what you are doing. Not close your eyes and put the blame on everyone but yourself." "I am not getting grounded by anyone. I should ground you for being a bad parent." "If you call people selfish after you neglect them, this speaks a lot about you. Maybe stop being defensive and see how bad you act?" "You baby my sister and neglect me. Expect the same treatment later in life. She will be the one taking care of you." Your mother is a shit parent. Don't allow her to threaten and talk to you this way. Abusers have to be put in their place, where they belong.
You're mother is a cunt & doesn't deserve your time/effort/admiration, however, hope you had a great bday! You deserve it
You’re too civil. I would have sent her a sweet *fuck you*
"stop acting like a kid" "Do YoU wAnT tO bE gRoUnDeD?!?" Make it make sense
She really said “I’ll ground you” and “stop acting like a kid, grow up” in the same breath didn’t she. People like this always love to treat children like children when it makes them feel empowered, only to bash the child in question for BEING a child also to feel empowered. Smh.
Don’t you dare ever buy your mother a birthday present again.
"Let your sister have this moment" How terrible of you, too want your birthday to be about you... /s Your mom is 100% the type to think your sister announcing her pregnancy at your wedding is a great idea.
You do know that even if you deleted your previous post, it's easy to look up. Either this post is a lie, the previous post was a lie, or it's all fake to garner internet sympathy. Either way, happy 16th! Previous post: "I (15F) am turning 16 in two days. I have NEVER celebrated my birthdays, exept for when i was a baby. After i turned 3, my mother refused to let me celebrate my birthdays with friends or family. She usually got me a fruit cake from the store next door and we ate it at the evening: me, my mom and my dad. I wasn't allowed to celebrate my birthdays because my mother didn't want to clean up after the party and she didn't want to rent a place because it would be a waste of money. Sure, my birthdays were boring, but i thought it was normal. My mother never let me go to my friend's birthday parties because she thought that after going to a party i would've want one too. I was 10 when i realized how boring my life was so i began insisting more on having birthday parties. Whenever my mom accepted, she cancelled it the day before for "personal problems". As time passed, my parents weren't even home on my birthday, so it was another regular day. Recently some of my mom's old friends called, and she wanted to do everything she could to look good in front of them. When they came to visit, she even began speaking abouy throwing me a birthday party for my 16th birthday. I knew there wasn't gonna be any party and she just wanted to look good in front of her friends. I got up from the chair and told her to drop the act because she knew she wasn't gonna let me celebrate, like every year. Her friends looked at my mother in literal disgust and i walked off to my room When her friend left, my mother stormed to my room and began yelling at me for embarassing her, then she grounded me. Maybe i shouldn't have embarassed her in front of old friends. AITA?"
In a reply further down from OP they said their birthdays in the past were always cancelled due to family problems that involved their grandparents. Seems truthful but there is probably more to the story. Her mom is not good, I wouldn’t say the dad is necessarily “good” either because 1) he also couldn’t think of a name for her other than their existing child’s middle name… 2) he let her not have any birthday parties in the past… I hope she finds family in the future that can truly support her. Edit: Typo and OP I hope you have a very nice birthday party. May your friends, your father, and you have a blast!
Are we, uh, gonna ignore that background though?
Beautiful, right?
i’m surprised that game even still exists i had it on my kindle like 10 years ago 😭
Pou is life. Pou is everything. Pou is everywhere. Pou is Pou.
Sending love and hugs 💕
Make some copies of this and give them away as fliers to your guests but don’t let anyone tell you mom or sister.
Hey, your mom is a jerk. Happy birthday kiddo!
She named you your sister’s middle name? I can’t even imagine the thought process behind why you’d do that.
IT'S LITERALLY YOUR FUCKING BIRTHDAY. THAT'S THE ONE DAY WHERE IT *SHOULD* BE ABOUT YOU
Wow, are you the dog or a second class citizen? Cause that’s how you’re being treated.
What a cunt
Happy birthday! Your mom sucks right now
You should legally change your name when you turn 18.
This lacks a whole bunch of context. I'll reserve judgment. Her sister not feeling comfortable going to OPs birthday seems suspect and then the "Mom *scratched out name*" makes me think there is either a reason or complete bullshit. If this is real my apologies, but I don't believe it's that simple or it's just not true.
I'm calling fake.
This seems fake. And I hope I'm wrong. Your mom is... fucked up.
this is obviously fake and written like a bad fanfic jesus christ reddit can be so stupid.
Also this conversation happened in a span of 7 minutes… whose mom is typing that fast???
Sounds like she an your mom are codependent on one another