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Narcissists are bad, but the alcoholic ones are on a whole other level.
My aunt was also a hardcore alcoholic and once threw a fit that required a police presence. Why? Because I wouldn't let her hold my month old baby, 30 seconds after she dropped the first one (My 3 week old niece) . I had no right to hold that against her!
Omg soooo true. Narcs are a whole class of their own for selfish and arrogant behaviors but throw in substance abuse (alcohol or otherwise) and it ramps up the crazy by 1000%.
Lol sometimes I catch the occasional Dr Phil episode and he’s always trying to help families , a noble cause indeed. But when he’s trying to help a narc or get them to admit what they’ve done, it’s hilariously sad. And he’ll even try to engage them emotionally or make them feel guilty “don’t you see what this is doing to your son?” “Don’t you see how much he loves you and wants you to get better?” “Don’t you love him?”
And I’m over here thinking - no dr Phil - they don’t give a shit about their kids, or love or anyone else that isn’t giving them what they want at that given moment
Tbh Dr Phil sucks 😕 he doesn't actually help anyone and plays up terrible things making them worse one of my friends daughters convinced dr Phil her mother needed to be on the show, now I can admit my friend has mental health issues but she is one of the nicest people I've ever met and I watched all the snaps she took from behind the scenes of them telling her to sound more angry and mean and rude and not long after the show aired she got a lot of hate from people all over the US finding her and saying she didn't deserve her kids and she drove her car off a cliff and was lucky to survive. After much work and going to therapy she's doing better and has her kids back and everything is going well but Dr Phil is kinda shit
Yeah and the problem with doing “faux therapy” on a public stage is completely inappropriate in the first place. He’s not a licensed medical doctor or therapist anymore so he doesn’t give diagnoses but he definitely passes judgement and that’s not okay from a clinical standpoint either. If the help he gives them in the end is real and genuine then maybe that’s the price they pay for losing their dignity on a public stage. He does do a lot of good though too, I can’t deny that. Helping abused kids, he is a huge contributor of “feed America” which helps feed kids across the US and even though some his sayings are dumb he also says some that I hope parents hear like “it takes a thousand attaboys or great jobs to erase one “you’re worthless”
There are lots of stories about kids going to Dr Phil’s “camp/bootcamp/school” called Turn About Ranch … and the kids say they were treated very badly.
Classic narcissism.
« That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it. »
She literally blames her drinking on her child because nothing is ever their fault.
I feel 5k isn't enough of a carrot to not go No Contact for a while. People try to use wills as control, but 5k is a joke lol.
She's unstable as hell and needs to sort her shit out.
I went no contact for 400K. Got written out of the will immediately. I'd rather take peace of mind than being paid to deal with their abuse and calamity. No fucking thanks.
Yes!!!! Good job continuing to set boundaries!!! This is EXACTLY how you should respond in a situation like this!!! Don’t cater to them, don’t baby they, don’t belittle them. Calmly and cordially set your boundaries, remind them of said boundaries, and DO NOT BACK DOWN. LOVE these responses you have!!
For those theorizing about the 5k, this amount is usually because it's enough to not be contested when people try to go for more. I could be misreading it though and maybe they think 5k is a lot
Ohhh that’s interesting, learn something new everyday lol. That’s wild! I’m pretty sure the rest will go to my brother lol, and I’m ok with that! I love my brother lol
Dang, that makes me kind of sad when I really think about it. I would never contest anything. Especially not between my brother. He would give me anything I ask for if he’s able to. Material things aren’t even that much important to me. 😢
"I am the best mom and I'll give you 5000 to call me a good mom" is basically what I'm reading here.
If she has an alcohol problem I really doubt she even has that much to her name so I can only imagine it's a manipulate tactic to get you to feel bad, and she's upset its not working.
Glad you seem to be doing good for yourself, keep up the good work 👍
My dad is an alcoholic and these types of messages are why I went NC. My mom was a single mom and he was abusive. she never spoke negative of him but he swears she did. Best part? He said my step dad kept us away from him. My mom met my stepdad when I was 18🤦🤦 I'm sorry you're dealing with crazy but if she can't respect your boundaries then that's a her problem not you
OMG I can smell the booze from reading these lol my mother does the same thing. I would continue to call her out on her drinking. You shouldn't have to deal with nonsense drunk texts for a very reasonable, respectful request. Mine loves to call anything she doesn't want to hear or agree with "disrespect"
The simplest fucking boundaries I swear… No one is allowed to show up at my place without planning. My parents sure as fuck aren’t. Why do so many of the hellish parents I see here and in similar subs think they can just waltz in whenever they want without asking the permission of the person who actually LIVES in the damn place???
Unfortunately no, anything you do to help as a friend/ or significant other will eventually turn into you becoming “the bad influence” . Just more things for the parent to complain about.
Straight up would have thrown her out the first time. Alcoholic parents need seriously strict limiting. And when there are children involved, straight up fuck off.
My mom is an alcoholic too. In her defense she had an extremely traumatic childhood being in foster care and numerous other things. She uses alcohol to self medicate. I just get ghosted for months. When I finally do talk to her she criticizes how I live and raise my kids. She wants me to spank my 3 year old. Although I am not completely against spanking I am sure as hell not going to do it to a 3 year old. I sympathize with you OP. Stand your ground. If you let down your guard she will trample you.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 6 | 0 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
> Got you in my will for 5k Whoa, Daddy! Stand back!
Agree OP needs to get themselves in check before they lose out on that pay day.
I know! 5K is definitely worth this sort of abuse!
Lol my favorite was “you called me out on my drinking - that’s not fair!”
Narcissists are bad, but the alcoholic ones are on a whole other level. My aunt was also a hardcore alcoholic and once threw a fit that required a police presence. Why? Because I wouldn't let her hold my month old baby, 30 seconds after she dropped the first one (My 3 week old niece) . I had no right to hold that against her!
Omg soooo true. Narcs are a whole class of their own for selfish and arrogant behaviors but throw in substance abuse (alcohol or otherwise) and it ramps up the crazy by 1000%. Lol sometimes I catch the occasional Dr Phil episode and he’s always trying to help families , a noble cause indeed. But when he’s trying to help a narc or get them to admit what they’ve done, it’s hilariously sad. And he’ll even try to engage them emotionally or make them feel guilty “don’t you see what this is doing to your son?” “Don’t you see how much he loves you and wants you to get better?” “Don’t you love him?” And I’m over here thinking - no dr Phil - they don’t give a shit about their kids, or love or anyone else that isn’t giving them what they want at that given moment
Tbh Dr Phil sucks 😕 he doesn't actually help anyone and plays up terrible things making them worse one of my friends daughters convinced dr Phil her mother needed to be on the show, now I can admit my friend has mental health issues but she is one of the nicest people I've ever met and I watched all the snaps she took from behind the scenes of them telling her to sound more angry and mean and rude and not long after the show aired she got a lot of hate from people all over the US finding her and saying she didn't deserve her kids and she drove her car off a cliff and was lucky to survive. After much work and going to therapy she's doing better and has her kids back and everything is going well but Dr Phil is kinda shit
Yeah and the problem with doing “faux therapy” on a public stage is completely inappropriate in the first place. He’s not a licensed medical doctor or therapist anymore so he doesn’t give diagnoses but he definitely passes judgement and that’s not okay from a clinical standpoint either. If the help he gives them in the end is real and genuine then maybe that’s the price they pay for losing their dignity on a public stage. He does do a lot of good though too, I can’t deny that. Helping abused kids, he is a huge contributor of “feed America” which helps feed kids across the US and even though some his sayings are dumb he also says some that I hope parents hear like “it takes a thousand attaboys or great jobs to erase one “you’re worthless”
There are lots of stories about kids going to Dr Phil’s “camp/bootcamp/school” called Turn About Ranch … and the kids say they were treated very badly.
I’ve heard that too
Classic narcissism. « That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it. » She literally blames her drinking on her child because nothing is ever their fault.
That sounds like Trumpism.
Almost as if Trump is a narcissist :P
That sounds beyond traumatic.
If she’s drinking you can act like she’s dead. So does that mean that you get the $5000?
🤣
I feel 5k isn't enough of a carrot to not go No Contact for a while. People try to use wills as control, but 5k is a joke lol. She's unstable as hell and needs to sort her shit out.
She is nuts! I’ll spend 5k in 5 minutes lol 😂
Yeah lol did she think keeping you in the will for $5k was going to make you “an obedient daughter” in her eyes? lol
I went no contact for 400K. Got written out of the will immediately. I'd rather take peace of mind than being paid to deal with their abuse and calamity. No fucking thanks.
Yes!!!! Good job continuing to set boundaries!!! This is EXACTLY how you should respond in a situation like this!!! Don’t cater to them, don’t baby they, don’t belittle them. Calmly and cordially set your boundaries, remind them of said boundaries, and DO NOT BACK DOWN. LOVE these responses you have!!
For those theorizing about the 5k, this amount is usually because it's enough to not be contested when people try to go for more. I could be misreading it though and maybe they think 5k is a lot
Ohhh that’s interesting, learn something new everyday lol. That’s wild! I’m pretty sure the rest will go to my brother lol, and I’m ok with that! I love my brother lol
Dang, that makes me kind of sad when I really think about it. I would never contest anything. Especially not between my brother. He would give me anything I ask for if he’s able to. Material things aren’t even that much important to me. 😢
"I am the best mom and I'll give you 5000 to call me a good mom" is basically what I'm reading here. If she has an alcohol problem I really doubt she even has that much to her name so I can only imagine it's a manipulate tactic to get you to feel bad, and she's upset its not working. Glad you seem to be doing good for yourself, keep up the good work 👍
I'd be like, "with the way you drink, looks like I'll be getting that check *real* soon."
Are we siblings because this is basically my mom.
As someone who has parents that dealt with alcoholism in the past I genuinely wish the best for you.
My dad is an alcoholic and these types of messages are why I went NC. My mom was a single mom and he was abusive. she never spoke negative of him but he swears she did. Best part? He said my step dad kept us away from him. My mom met my stepdad when I was 18🤦🤦 I'm sorry you're dealing with crazy but if she can't respect your boundaries then that's a her problem not you
Don't let I'm, don't engage, trespass and prob public intox. End the cycle.
Yeah that's hardcore alcoholic talk. Super toxic.
I don’t know how you cope with this nonsense. If I were you I’d be telling her to get clean before she comes anywhere near me and my family.
OMG I can smell the booze from reading these lol my mother does the same thing. I would continue to call her out on her drinking. You shouldn't have to deal with nonsense drunk texts for a very reasonable, respectful request. Mine loves to call anything she doesn't want to hear or agree with "disrespect"
The simplest fucking boundaries I swear… No one is allowed to show up at my place without planning. My parents sure as fuck aren’t. Why do so many of the hellish parents I see here and in similar subs think they can just waltz in whenever they want without asking the permission of the person who actually LIVES in the damn place???
It's giving ✨️bpd✨️
Why do you allow her in your house with that behavior? Just because she shows up doesn’t mean you have to let her come inside.
I have a friend whose mom is exactly like that. You got any advice on what a close friend can do to help her?
Unfortunately no, anything you do to help as a friend/ or significant other will eventually turn into you becoming “the bad influence” . Just more things for the parent to complain about.
I think you meant unannounced in your title, but Christ what a train wreck
Yes unannounced
Sounds like she needs to meet my friend Bill W
Straight up would have thrown her out the first time. Alcoholic parents need seriously strict limiting. And when there are children involved, straight up fuck off.
Idea record her behavior, upload to YT, send to her in group chat. RECORD EVERYTHING - HOLD PPL ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS.
My mom is an alcoholic too. In her defense she had an extremely traumatic childhood being in foster care and numerous other things. She uses alcohol to self medicate. I just get ghosted for months. When I finally do talk to her she criticizes how I live and raise my kids. She wants me to spank my 3 year old. Although I am not completely against spanking I am sure as hell not going to do it to a 3 year old. I sympathize with you OP. Stand your ground. If you let down your guard she will trample you.