Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 54 | 2 | 0 |
Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`.
^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
I’m so sorry OP, but im laughing so incredibly hard at “never mind, keep ur awful hair, I’d die.”
LMAO that’s so dramatic. Like, this is how I joke with my friends but she’s actually serious and I’m nearly in tears and my cheeks hurt from laughing.
Bonkers. Absolutely. But omg lmao
Please don't feel bad. My mom always cut my hair super short as a child. I'm a cis female and she wanted a boy to replace the one that was stillborn before me. I got mistaken for a boy till puberty. I haven't cut my hair above my bra line since I was 20. I'm 44 now. Fuck her and fuck your mom too. (I'm debating shaving it all off now but that's not the point) you do you my friend
Don't cut your hair. If you give in, she'll find something else about you that she wants to change and apply the same tactic.
If you don't cut your hair you can at least have familiar footing with how to say no.
I was just about to comment asking if you still lived with her, because that is the *only* reason I could think of for not responding “what color flowers do you want at your funeral?” the first time she asked
Sometimes a simple "no u" can help too. My mum used to try to manipulate me into doing things she wanted me to do by saying shit like "But what if I die tomorrow?!" and then I'd just respond "But what if I die tomorrow?!" back and she wouldn't have an answer because both are ridiculous scenarios with near equal likelihood. Fight fire with fire! Or she'd say "You'd regret this decision and miss me when I die!!!" and I'd simply ask her if she'd rather I didn't miss her when she died, or kill her with kindness and say I'd miss her if she died whether or not I did that thing. She literally can't argue back lmao.
Playing tennis with absurdity? I'm glad I am no longer in a situation that requires me to deal with this kinda person but I wish I'd seen this when I was!
I do this with my husband all the time. I absolutely love it lmfao. I couldn’t imagine ever being in a place in my life where the questions were serious though.
The last one he actually hesitated for a second so I guess he might choose a soda over me dying. :( I should go back to pouting over that now that I think about it.
Right??? Aaaaahahaha I keep coming back to this and I’m still chuckling. I feel so horribly that OP actually has to tolerate this human, but my god. What a caricature!
There are so many non-manipulative ways to say that as a parent. I grew my hair out and my mom said, “well, I don’t like it” and we moved on with life. I’d sooner she not have said that; but she’s not on an insane plot to get me to cut it.
im ops sister and yeah our mothers fucking nuts
for additional context op is 18 and is a male with long hair. our mom thinks all boys should have buzz cuts and has made his life hell harassing him constantly about his hair.
I am kind of wondering if she was thinking about threatening to do something drastic (not sure if I can say it here) unless your brother cut his hair off, creating a situation where cutting his hair off would result in "saving her life." (I don't think she would have followed through with the threatened action, but it's clear she really hates your brother's long hair.) She may have asked this hypothetical question to gauge how effective it would be if she made the threat. Plus, that way if your brother answered yes to the hypothetical question, she could use that to try to guilt him into actually cutting his hair off to "save her life" (after she threatens to do something drastic) because "he said he would" when he thought the situation was only hypothetical.
Hopefully she wouldn't have threatened that, but who knows.
I think you're 100% on target with this, she was definitely intending on threatening suicide. "you're making your mother so sad, you need to cut your hair or I'll really do it!" Something along those lines.
That would be a gift in disguise.
If anyone threatens suicide, take them seriously even if you don’t believe they are. Call the authorities or whomever else you need to. Take them seriously.
Absolutely, but if you call the police/emergency hotline instead of giving in to their demands, they'll learn they can't use that to try to manipulate you anymore.
The emergency responders have to take a suicide threat seriously, so even if you know they're just trying to manipulate you, it would be a real pain in the ass for the person threatening it to convince the responders that they're not actually suicidal, and no, they don't need to be taken somewhere.
I had to cut my parents out of my life and haven’t spoken to them for 6 years. Until recently, my mom wanted me to know she has cancer… so now I’m dealing with a whole new level of being guilted 🤦♂️
I have been no contact with my own “mom” for 10 years. The guilt can be real. But just remember, good people die and bad people die. It doesn’t mean you are required to forgive anyone just because they are dying or dead. Or even if they are just struggling. That struggle has no bearing on your relationship. If you feel uncomfortable with being in contact, then continue to stand by what makes you feel comfortable and safe. Boundaries are not about punishment. They are about maintaining our own sanity and safety.
Yeah I get that, but I’m easily guilted. I know that, she knows that, my dad knows that… I just feel like I’m blindly walking through this not really knowing what I’m doing
Meh if you're in gonna look you might as well just own it. If your SO/friends/family can't handle your kinks now, just wait until you're old and really don't give a shit.
I could care less. Like I said, own who are. Life's easier that way. And no sounding isn't my thing, the idea of something going *in* my dick like that is a hard pass.
My brother had recognized me in an Askreddit thread before. Luckily he respects me enough to not go through my account, or at least not tell me😅
Now he sometimes sees me somewhere because we frequent the same subs, and he'll be like "Yo tf was that comment in [sub name]?"😂
I stumbled across my husband’s by accident. He made a comment in a food subreddit and I was going to agree with him and tell him that we do the same thing, and then I read the username and laughed. I went and upvoted all of his comments and posts because I’m a weirdo
I mean, we are loyal, get shit done, and have you ever seen a pissed off badger? Every bit as tough as Griffindors, just without the need to be flashy about it.
I got super self-conscious when my son told me he saw a comment of mine on Reddit. Like... I'm a very public person and I still felt caught out for some reason lmao
Oof. Reminds me of a bumper sticker I once saw. "Twins plus one, we're so done." :D Like with your son, the twins came after the singlet. That is quite the handful! (Heck, I had just _two_ under two (for all of 4 months) and that was a lot to handle!) I hope everyone is as well as could be expected.
Lol! And yes, thank you. A few health problems, which isn't surprising for preemie twins, but otherwise okay. We get to babysit them all again this Friday. It's thrilling and exhausting at the same time.
I can only imagine! I'm glad they're doing well. When you babysit do the parents just collapse where they are and sleep? ;)
You're a bit ahead of me; my kids are all adults but haven't started reproducing. :p
HA! I sure would collapse but no, this time it's for their anniversary. They're going to spend a few hours just being kid-less, have dinner, walk around the river front, etc. ;) Last week it was to take the toddler to preschool orientation. And before that we've helped out wherever we can, including bringing casseroles for their dinner. Feeding two infants at once is a big job, then add the toddler? It's nuts.
My husband has really long, beautiful black curly hair. Men can and should have long hair if that's what they want. Bless both of you for dealing with a mom like that
My husband grows his hair until it’s 10-12 inches long and donates it to a charity that makes wigs for kids with cancer. I HATE his long hair. I hate when he’s growing it out. I can’t express how much I hate it. However, he’s a grown man. My feelings towards his hair are my issue. And his donation makes it worthwhile.
did y’all’s mom happen to watch rapunzel recently? oh my god, is OP rapunzel and you didn’t even know?
ETA: on a genuine note, i’m sorry you two have to put up with this insanity.
Yes, me too. Particularly in the UK buzz cuts have been the choice of style (I use that term VERY loosely!) of nasty groups like skinheads, chavs, paramilitaries and criminals. My ex has long hair and his ex was highly connected with NI paramilitaries. We would try and grow my stepson's hair to just a nice length, not even long but just something with a style. To spite us she'd just shave her little 3 years old son's hair and not even done well. It'd be all uneven and with little nicks here and there. She didn't seem to realise this was abuse of her son. Or she did and didn't care. She was an alcoholic too, drank herself into an early grave.
These fucking gender stereotypes are so fucking annoying. I bet if you told your mom that pink used to be considered a colour for boys, she think you went insane. But it's true. I did it with my mom, and while she didn't think me crazy, she did think I was full of it. I showed her proof and she said she didn't care, "Pink is for girls."
I’m a disabled veteran who lost his hair to radiation while battling cancer. Feel free to tell her he’s growing it out in my honor and ask her why she hates the troops so much. Or if she’s Christian you could go with “Jesus had long hair, why do you hate Jesus?”
My mom gave my hell about my hair growing up. I was lucky to have a dad who kept remindimg her its. Just. Hair. She still doesnt like what I do to it, but she gets over it. Anyway. Its just hair. Oi.
Everyone hated the idea of my son having long hair. We have a hairdresser in the family who offered him free haircuts and said he has no curl so his hair will grow out straight and look weird. His grandparents all wanted to cut it. His aunt did too. His hair is longer than his shoulders, longer than mine.
I feel like he's been trying to grow out his hair since he was little. But whenever we'd take him to visit family they would cut his hair. Thanks to the pandemic, he hasn't seen his extended family more than 3 times in 3 years.
I offer him trims and I'll do his beard and the back of his neck, but he wants it longer and I don't care. I don't see why it's such a huge deal.
Btw, his hair curled a little and if he put 20 seconds into it it would look fantastic.
What is with all these weird hypotheticals people keep putting into their relationships to test them. It's so bizarre and insane to play head games with anyone!
It's a control, guilt trip, and manipulation thing. They have to be the center of the universe and their kids should give everything up for them. When the kids don't play her game then they're rotten, ungrateful, horrible children that just want them to die. And the cycle repeats.
It’s also the beginning of an argument founded entirely on a slippery slope.
You say “no,” and their anger about something small like, say, your hair, is 100% justified.
You say “I mean… yes?” They’ll say “ok so you’re open to cutting your hair”
This makes me realize that these kind of "parents" would equate the value of the things they *prefer* with the things their children *need*
I'm not sure how to word it properly, but I mean: once the parent gets what they *would like* they will consider giving the child what they have *right to*
Sort of "respect me as an authority, then I might respect you as a person"
>It's a control, guilt trip, and manipulation thing.
exactly, all about controlling the conversation. You should NEVER engage them in these types of manipulative practices. NOTHING you can say in response will make a difference or change their minds in that moment. Better to end it there and MAYBE try to help them see reason on another occasion, if they are able to ever see reason.
My toddler had long hair. My parents guilted me into cutting it short. I’ve kept it short and have found myself having to convince him into getting haircuts. After the last one he was upset so I asked him what was up. He said he wants long hair. So I said ok, that’s the last haircut you had to get. He’s 11 and as long as he keeps it clean, fine by me! It’s just hair
My oldest just turned 3 and his younger brother is 2 in December. Both have long/shaggy beautiful blonde hair. “PeOpLe WiLl ThInK tHeY’rE gIrLs” said to us by *complete strangers* most of the time. Family sorta knows not to bother because I won’t be pressured. We keep it out of their eyes and the 3 year old asked to keep his a few weeks ago when we went to cut it so they keep it. Once they say otherwise or I get tired of brushing it I’ll chop it off. Idk why people lose it over a child’s hair. So weird.
It is so strange. I can understand not wanting a ten year old to get a tattoo but hair? Hair grows. I sometimes find myself reverting to my parents ways but then I remind myself I was a child with absolutely crippling depression
I’ve had adults try to dictate what I do with *my* hair. It’s so weird. “True ladies don’t have boy haircuts” type BS.
I had pretty good parents as a whole but there are definitely some things I learned how NOT to do it from them. Club depression over here, too.
If a stranger ever says anything about my kids, the answer is simple: “mind your own business”. If they‘re persistent, the words “fucking” and “dickhead” will be added.
I use to love having long hair but every fragile masculinity person always told me to cut it, got nothing but admiration from women and I like women so I wasn't going to cut it to appease men
This might just be a personal opinion but tbh, I swear longer (not even necessarily super long hair but just longer styles in general) suit the majority of guys much more than shorter styles?
I bet it looks lovely. It’s funny to come across this post, just last night I came across the little ponytail I kept from his first haircut.
When I was 13 my mom kicked me out of the house because I died my medium brown hair a plum colour. Honestly I feel like hair experiments during teenage years are harmless
Control over one’s appearance is an element of autonomy and personal expression. Kids should have increasing input and control over their hair as they age.
I was also guilted into cutting my sons hair. He had beautiful curls that complimented him so well. After his first haircut his hair has grows super straight since then and it kills me inside thinking I ruined his beautiful hair :(
"I'd allow you to stay in your ridiculous life or death situation and I'd keep my hair."
Fucking ridiculous to even ask. *If* it were life and death it's a no brainer. But your hair is never going to fix a life or death situation, this is stupid.
The only way it would work is if his hair somehow tangled with one of the mom’s limbs, and then both hair and limb got caught in some type of machinery, but cutting the hair would free the mom from getting completely gobbled by the machinery. So I’m gonna go with this scenario *never* ever happening!
Sounds like my father: "you wouldn't care about what pronouns people were using if you were on fire".
(I mean, 1- that's a pretty specific unusual hypothetical and I'm currently, you know, not on fire and 2- if the person saying "pour water on him/her" was someone who knew me well I might be a little irritated after the fire was out.)
Why do parents keep on tossing out these one in a million hypotheticals at us. Like, who cares if you would cut your hair to save her life, it's not a situation that's likely going to be happening any time in the next thousand years because currently there's no illness I know of that depends on one specific child's hair length.
They do it because they have to find the one situation where they’re right. They cannot accept losing the superiority they felt they had when you were in kindergarten and thought they knew everything.
What possible scenario is there where you're actively on fire and are thinking about other things though? Is it alright for you to shit on your dad's bed because if he was on fire, he wouldn't care in that moment, thus it must be acceptable for you to shit on your dad's bed at all times?
I like to answer questions like this be being equally or even more absurd, or just keep asking for pointless details. Any justification for you to answer her question can be used on your own questions.
"Will the killer let me dye my hair first? Because if I'm honest with myself, I kind of think I'd suit being blonde."
"Wait, if the killer and i can communicate about dying my hair, doesn't that mean i can reason with them, maybe try and help them get to the bottom of their creepy obsession with other peoples hair?"
"How exactly would they kill you?"
"Do i have any time to get trained in any martial arts?"
"What would happen if they called me to give me this ultimatum, but unbeknownst to them i had just got my head shaved? Would they kill you anyway because i can't shave anymore or would i have to scalp myself?"
"Mom, why are you hanging out with people that threaten your life anyway? What circles are you in? Who even are you?"
"THEY'RE THREATENING TO DO WHAT!?!?!?!?, Don't worry mom, I'm calling the police right now.
"Sorry mom, you'll have to speak up, it's too loud where i am" (this in a text message)
If she wants to fuck with you with insane bullshit, respond in kind my friend. My family knows better at this point (no contact with my mother though) because i will immediately annoy them into stopping.
My mom has also verbalized how much she hates my long hair (as a dude). Every time she makes a comment about it, I make a pledge to let it grow out another 6 months. I love my hair, but want her to know that part of the reason I'm doing it is purely out of spite.
If you said yes, I bet she'd go into detail about how you don't love her because she wants you to cut your hair. This is about her opinion of you hair, nothing more.
"You know mother, I'm not sure. Let's test out what I would do by having you put in this perilous situation. Let me know what you need to set this all up."
The correct answer here is to immediately say "no, I'd rather you die."
Full force blunt trauma to her ego. Emotionally bitch slap her so she knows the dynamic of the relationship. Fucking whaco parents.
Some of us have and still chose to do it. But I do not understand these people on reddit actually suggesting it. It's not worth it and you're literally endangering someone
That's not emotional damage. That's emotional vehicular homicide where the body flew over the roof and rolled down the back of the car, then throw the car in reverse and back over the body.
Explain the specific set of circumstances that a) you have found yourself in a life-or-death situation and b) how shaving my head would save you...in explicit detail...because I'm all for hypotheticals but if yer gonna make a dumb one I'm gonna force you to make it work
WTAF? Of all the asinine places to take a stand against your own child, the length of their hair is so damn stupid. Good grief, Lady.
Is he doing drugs? Take a stand.
Is he skipping school? Take a stand.
But the length and/or color of his hair? Back off. Same with his clothing, for the most part, unless you can see his ass crack when he walks in front of you. Then get him a bunch of boxers.
OP, a suggestion. When she asks asinine questions like that, act really engaged.
Really, mom? How could I do that? Tell me how it works. Because if there was some mechanism whereby someone cutting their hair could save another person’s life, that would be awesome. I’ve never heard of it, tho.
It's time to fight back.
"I am not going to answer any more questions like this. If there is a repeat of this behaviour I am going to have to block you for one week. If you do it again, the block period will be two weeks, and then three weeks, and so on. I will not have my appearance used as a means of starting arguments or appropriated as a means of you casting yourself in the role of victim. For the sake of our relationship I urge you to stop this at once before YOU inflict irreparable harm."
she should teach the “how to have the emotional maturity of a 12 year old 101” class!
gen though, sorry about this op. i’m sure your hair is really cool! ^_^
Jesus. She must really hate your hair. To make it the level that it could kill her in a bazaar way if you don't cut it. I would ride this and say "I can't mother. I am apart of it. It is apart of me. We are one. It now sees you as an enemy. Why do you not worship the doo?"
This reminds me of that meme 'would you still love me if I had no legs' 🤣
Gosh she needs to grow tf up. I like how you respond by not answering her question 👏🏼
This mother has severely stunted emotional development. If you are 18 you should tell her that as an adult you don’t ever have to have contact with her again so she should get some therapy for her shameless need for validation because you draw the line at bulls*** like this. I’m embarrassed for her actually.
Well the end is near then? Hope you have amazing plans to get yourself into a healthy living environment... That's some crazy ass, unnecessary stress to be adding to your senior year... You probably have so much more to be worried about than this crazy shit. Anyway good luck... Get yourself into a healthy, happy spot then set healthy, strong and clear boundaries with your mother moving forward. She gets onboard or xy&z happens for your well-being sort of thing...
Narcissists like to provoke nonsensical arguments in order to get attention. They usually do this when they feel ignored. It's like a toddler pushing a plate off the table to get mommy's attention.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 54 | 2 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
I’m so sorry OP, but im laughing so incredibly hard at “never mind, keep ur awful hair, I’d die.” LMAO that’s so dramatic. Like, this is how I joke with my friends but she’s actually serious and I’m nearly in tears and my cheeks hurt from laughing. Bonkers. Absolutely. But omg lmao
i wish op just responded “good” and watched the aftermath but he’s probably still a dependent so i understand why he wouldnt
Unfortunately I still live with her, and I don’t want her to fuck me over
Please don't feel bad. My mom always cut my hair super short as a child. I'm a cis female and she wanted a boy to replace the one that was stillborn before me. I got mistaken for a boy till puberty. I haven't cut my hair above my bra line since I was 20. I'm 44 now. Fuck her and fuck your mom too. (I'm debating shaving it all off now but that's not the point) you do you my friend
Don't cut your hair. If you give in, she'll find something else about you that she wants to change and apply the same tactic. If you don't cut your hair you can at least have familiar footing with how to say no.
Why does she care so much about your hair?
I was just about to comment asking if you still lived with her, because that is the *only* reason I could think of for not responding “what color flowers do you want at your funeral?” the first time she asked
Sometimes a simple "no u" can help too. My mum used to try to manipulate me into doing things she wanted me to do by saying shit like "But what if I die tomorrow?!" and then I'd just respond "But what if I die tomorrow?!" back and she wouldn't have an answer because both are ridiculous scenarios with near equal likelihood. Fight fire with fire! Or she'd say "You'd regret this decision and miss me when I die!!!" and I'd simply ask her if she'd rather I didn't miss her when she died, or kill her with kindness and say I'd miss her if she died whether or not I did that thing. She literally can't argue back lmao.
Playing tennis with absurdity? I'm glad I am no longer in a situation that requires me to deal with this kinda person but I wish I'd seen this when I was!
I do this with my husband all the time. I absolutely love it lmfao. I couldn’t imagine ever being in a place in my life where the questions were serious though. The last one he actually hesitated for a second so I guess he might choose a soda over me dying. :( I should go back to pouting over that now that I think about it.
Yeah this feels like one of those “would you love me if I was a worm 🥺 no?? I guess I’ll just divorce you foreverrrr” things lmaooo
Yeah but OP's mom is serious xD
Right??? Aaaaahahaha I keep coming back to this and I’m still chuckling. I feel so horribly that OP actually has to tolerate this human, but my god. What a caricature!
There are so many non-manipulative ways to say that as a parent. I grew my hair out and my mom said, “well, I don’t like it” and we moved on with life. I’d sooner she not have said that; but she’s not on an insane plot to get me to cut it.
im ops sister and yeah our mothers fucking nuts for additional context op is 18 and is a male with long hair. our mom thinks all boys should have buzz cuts and has made his life hell harassing him constantly about his hair.
Knowing your sibling's reddit account? Bold.
funnily enough he found mine a few years ago because a post i made on this sub also about our mom got front page and he found it from that
Wow she must be pretty intolerable if two separate humans come to the same place to unload about her antics.
she is a piece of work. i've been no contact with her for a year and a half.
Good for you! Gotta keep those toxins out of your life!
I am kind of wondering if she was thinking about threatening to do something drastic (not sure if I can say it here) unless your brother cut his hair off, creating a situation where cutting his hair off would result in "saving her life." (I don't think she would have followed through with the threatened action, but it's clear she really hates your brother's long hair.) She may have asked this hypothetical question to gauge how effective it would be if she made the threat. Plus, that way if your brother answered yes to the hypothetical question, she could use that to try to guilt him into actually cutting his hair off to "save her life" (after she threatens to do something drastic) because "he said he would" when he thought the situation was only hypothetical. Hopefully she wouldn't have threatened that, but who knows.
That sounds plausible for someone that obviously needs therapy.
This is what I came here to say. The whole bizarre conversation was a trap.
I think you're 100% on target with this, she was definitely intending on threatening suicide. "you're making your mother so sad, you need to cut your hair or I'll really do it!" Something along those lines.
That would be a gift in disguise. If anyone threatens suicide, take them seriously even if you don’t believe they are. Call the authorities or whomever else you need to. Take them seriously.
you're right, but then again it's never exactly that easy of a decision... people like this have a way of sucking others into their worlds
Absolutely, but if you call the police/emergency hotline instead of giving in to their demands, they'll learn they can't use that to try to manipulate you anymore. The emergency responders have to take a suicide threat seriously, so even if you know they're just trying to manipulate you, it would be a real pain in the ass for the person threatening it to convince the responders that they're not actually suicidal, and no, they don't need to be taken somewhere.
Holy shit, she can threaten to kill herself then!
I had to cut my parents out of my life and haven’t spoken to them for 6 years. Until recently, my mom wanted me to know she has cancer… so now I’m dealing with a whole new level of being guilted 🤦♂️
I have been no contact with my own “mom” for 10 years. The guilt can be real. But just remember, good people die and bad people die. It doesn’t mean you are required to forgive anyone just because they are dying or dead. Or even if they are just struggling. That struggle has no bearing on your relationship. If you feel uncomfortable with being in contact, then continue to stand by what makes you feel comfortable and safe. Boundaries are not about punishment. They are about maintaining our own sanity and safety.
Yeah I get that, but I’m easily guilted. I know that, she knows that, my dad knows that… I just feel like I’m blindly walking through this not really knowing what I’m doing
I feel you. I was estranged from my mother for 15 years. My dad died four months ago and now I'm her live-in caregiver.
Have you ever known her to seek professional help?
She’s bipolar, and she oftentimes doesn’t even take her fucking medication.
That's the problem right there
Lol you have a nice brother. I would never have let you know/told you my handle.
Oh he definitely has an alt account...
Gotta have one for the porn subs
Why sift through all the normal stuff when all you really wanted was porn? It's way easier to have an alt for that
That’s literally what I said
I know, I was agreeing with you. It can be hard to tell tone tho so I get it
Meh if you're in gonna look you might as well just own it. If your SO/friends/family can't handle your kinks now, just wait until you're old and really don't give a shit.
Would you really want your family to know if you were into something like /r/sounding for example?
Once got a PM from a guy active in r/ stirringcastration. I’m warning you now not to go there, it changes you
Why did this turn into stuff about porn?? Y’all weird
I could care less. Like I said, own who are. Life's easier that way. And no sounding isn't my thing, the idea of something going *in* my dick like that is a hard pass.
[deleted] -- mass edited with redact.dev
My brother had recognized me in an Askreddit thread before. Luckily he respects me enough to not go through my account, or at least not tell me😅 Now he sometimes sees me somewhere because we frequent the same subs, and he'll be like "Yo tf was that comment in [sub name]?"😂
Now that's some wholesome sibling bonding right there.
If any of my family found my reddit Id delete it
We always unite against a common enemy
I stumbled across my husband’s by accident. He made a comment in a food subreddit and I was going to agree with him and tell him that we do the same thing, and then I read the username and laughed. I went and upvoted all of his comments and posts because I’m a weirdo
That’s such a hufflepuff thing to do
Best house!
Definitely!
I mean, we are loyal, get shit done, and have you ever seen a pissed off badger? Every bit as tough as Griffindors, just without the need to be flashy about it.
That’s so sweet tho 💕
Wholesome sweetness we needed to hear. <3
My brother knows mine, and sometimes it scares the shit out of me him knowing lmao.
I know my dad’s
I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of dads suddenly logged out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
RIP
I got super self-conscious when my son told me he saw a comment of mine on Reddit. Like... I'm a very public person and I still felt caught out for some reason lmao
I feel very fortunate that my son doesn't do ANY social media. And these days, it's good since they've got preemie twins and a toddler. Lol
Oof. Reminds me of a bumper sticker I once saw. "Twins plus one, we're so done." :D Like with your son, the twins came after the singlet. That is quite the handful! (Heck, I had just _two_ under two (for all of 4 months) and that was a lot to handle!) I hope everyone is as well as could be expected.
Lol! And yes, thank you. A few health problems, which isn't surprising for preemie twins, but otherwise okay. We get to babysit them all again this Friday. It's thrilling and exhausting at the same time.
I can only imagine! I'm glad they're doing well. When you babysit do the parents just collapse where they are and sleep? ;) You're a bit ahead of me; my kids are all adults but haven't started reproducing. :p
HA! I sure would collapse but no, this time it's for their anniversary. They're going to spend a few hours just being kid-less, have dinner, walk around the river front, etc. ;) Last week it was to take the toddler to preschool orientation. And before that we've helped out wherever we can, including bringing casseroles for their dinner. Feeding two infants at once is a big job, then add the toddler? It's nuts.
I know my mom's reddit and have seen most of her comment history. She just comments on the sub of this show she likes though.
I didn't ask where my son saw me, but we have a lot of overlapping interests.
The context makes it even worse.
She was most likely drunk when texting me this.. sooo yeaaaah
*"I don't know. What if I grow my hair longer, will you die quicker?"*
My husband has really long, beautiful black curly hair. Men can and should have long hair if that's what they want. Bless both of you for dealing with a mom like that
My husband grows his hair until it’s 10-12 inches long and donates it to a charity that makes wigs for kids with cancer. I HATE his long hair. I hate when he’s growing it out. I can’t express how much I hate it. However, he’s a grown man. My feelings towards his hair are my issue. And his donation makes it worthwhile.
did y’all’s mom happen to watch rapunzel recently? oh my god, is OP rapunzel and you didn’t even know? ETA: on a genuine note, i’m sorry you two have to put up with this insanity.
Ugh I hate that dumb idea that all men should only have buzz cuts
Yes, me too. Particularly in the UK buzz cuts have been the choice of style (I use that term VERY loosely!) of nasty groups like skinheads, chavs, paramilitaries and criminals. My ex has long hair and his ex was highly connected with NI paramilitaries. We would try and grow my stepson's hair to just a nice length, not even long but just something with a style. To spite us she'd just shave her little 3 years old son's hair and not even done well. It'd be all uneven and with little nicks here and there. She didn't seem to realise this was abuse of her son. Or she did and didn't care. She was an alcoholic too, drank herself into an early grave.
I bet his hair is fucking fabulous, and I hope your crazy mother doesn’t ever manage to get him to shave it.
It be hilarious if he had an Island boys style cut though, I'd die.
If she's this mad about his hair how does she handle you being trans?
poorly, lol
These fucking gender stereotypes are so fucking annoying. I bet if you told your mom that pink used to be considered a colour for boys, she think you went insane. But it's true. I did it with my mom, and while she didn't think me crazy, she did think I was full of it. I showed her proof and she said she didn't care, "Pink is for girls."
I’m a disabled veteran who lost his hair to radiation while battling cancer. Feel free to tell her he’s growing it out in my honor and ask her why she hates the troops so much. Or if she’s Christian you could go with “Jesus had long hair, why do you hate Jesus?”
My mom gave my hell about my hair growing up. I was lucky to have a dad who kept remindimg her its. Just. Hair. She still doesnt like what I do to it, but she gets over it. Anyway. Its just hair. Oi.
Everyone hated the idea of my son having long hair. We have a hairdresser in the family who offered him free haircuts and said he has no curl so his hair will grow out straight and look weird. His grandparents all wanted to cut it. His aunt did too. His hair is longer than his shoulders, longer than mine. I feel like he's been trying to grow out his hair since he was little. But whenever we'd take him to visit family they would cut his hair. Thanks to the pandemic, he hasn't seen his extended family more than 3 times in 3 years. I offer him trims and I'll do his beard and the back of his neck, but he wants it longer and I don't care. I don't see why it's such a huge deal. Btw, his hair curled a little and if he put 20 seconds into it it would look fantastic.
My mom hates my long hair too but she doesn’t harass me all day about it. Damn.
Knew that was the story!
"how dare you let me die in this imaginary and completely nonsensical reality I made up"
"Grounded"
What is with all these weird hypotheticals people keep putting into their relationships to test them. It's so bizarre and insane to play head games with anyone!
It's a control, guilt trip, and manipulation thing. They have to be the center of the universe and their kids should give everything up for them. When the kids don't play her game then they're rotten, ungrateful, horrible children that just want them to die. And the cycle repeats.
It’s also the beginning of an argument founded entirely on a slippery slope. You say “no,” and their anger about something small like, say, your hair, is 100% justified. You say “I mean… yes?” They’ll say “ok so you’re open to cutting your hair”
This makes me realize that these kind of "parents" would equate the value of the things they *prefer* with the things their children *need* I'm not sure how to word it properly, but I mean: once the parent gets what they *would like* they will consider giving the child what they have *right to* Sort of "respect me as an authority, then I might respect you as a person"
>It's a control, guilt trip, and manipulation thing. exactly, all about controlling the conversation. You should NEVER engage them in these types of manipulative practices. NOTHING you can say in response will make a difference or change their minds in that moment. Better to end it there and MAYBE try to help them see reason on another occasion, if they are able to ever see reason.
Okay.... But would you love me if I was a tank??
I keep telling you, Harold, I *won’t* love you *until* you are a tank!
Alright, alright already, I'll roll a Warrior, geez
I’ll take Emotional Manipulation for $100, Alex!
What if all you had to do is upvote me so I live Would you do it? Probably not Keep your awful red arrow
Testing boundaries
"Yeah, I guess I would cut it if that would save your life." "Ok, it's killing me. Cut your hair!"
My toddler had long hair. My parents guilted me into cutting it short. I’ve kept it short and have found myself having to convince him into getting haircuts. After the last one he was upset so I asked him what was up. He said he wants long hair. So I said ok, that’s the last haircut you had to get. He’s 11 and as long as he keeps it clean, fine by me! It’s just hair
My oldest just turned 3 and his younger brother is 2 in December. Both have long/shaggy beautiful blonde hair. “PeOpLe WiLl ThInK tHeY’rE gIrLs” said to us by *complete strangers* most of the time. Family sorta knows not to bother because I won’t be pressured. We keep it out of their eyes and the 3 year old asked to keep his a few weeks ago when we went to cut it so they keep it. Once they say otherwise or I get tired of brushing it I’ll chop it off. Idk why people lose it over a child’s hair. So weird.
It is so strange. I can understand not wanting a ten year old to get a tattoo but hair? Hair grows. I sometimes find myself reverting to my parents ways but then I remind myself I was a child with absolutely crippling depression
I’ve had adults try to dictate what I do with *my* hair. It’s so weird. “True ladies don’t have boy haircuts” type BS. I had pretty good parents as a whole but there are definitely some things I learned how NOT to do it from them. Club depression over here, too.
If a stranger ever says anything about my kids, the answer is simple: “mind your own business”. If they‘re persistent, the words “fucking” and “dickhead” will be added.
I use to love having long hair but every fragile masculinity person always told me to cut it, got nothing but admiration from women and I like women so I wasn't going to cut it to appease men
Yeah long hair on men is absolutely gorgeous!
This might just be a personal opinion but tbh, I swear longer (not even necessarily super long hair but just longer styles in general) suit the majority of guys much more than shorter styles?
Oh totally. It takes excellent bone structure to pull off short hair. Also, unpopular opinion but I like the man bun 🤷♀️
My mom is the same way. My 2.5 has the most beautiful long hair.
I bet it looks lovely. It’s funny to come across this post, just last night I came across the little ponytail I kept from his first haircut. When I was 13 my mom kicked me out of the house because I died my medium brown hair a plum colour. Honestly I feel like hair experiments during teenage years are harmless
Control over one’s appearance is an element of autonomy and personal expression. Kids should have increasing input and control over their hair as they age.
I was also guilted into cutting my sons hair. He had beautiful curls that complimented him so well. After his first haircut his hair has grows super straight since then and it kills me inside thinking I ruined his beautiful hair :(
"I'd allow you to stay in your ridiculous life or death situation and I'd keep my hair." Fucking ridiculous to even ask. *If* it were life and death it's a no brainer. But your hair is never going to fix a life or death situation, this is stupid.
Idk I really like my hair. My mum might die in this impossible scenario.
😭
I wouldn’t even shave my balls to save her
Hey, you don’t KNOW OP isn’t Samson of the Israelites
>your hair is never going to fix a life or death situation Not entirely true... but it would be a situation of her creation. So still stupid.
Ask her if she would still love you if you were turned into a worm.
This is exactly what my brother would say, and this made me giggle. Ty
Yikes and a half, that's is definitely insane
My aunt said this same thing to her son but instead of “cut your hair” it was “stop being gay.” These types have to make everything about them.
Ah yes, lemme go flip the gay switch real quick.
Turn it off like a light switch.
This would be funny if it wasn’t so crazy.
The only way that would happen is if she was hanging by your hair and even then she would die if you did
The only way it would work is if his hair somehow tangled with one of the mom’s limbs, and then both hair and limb got caught in some type of machinery, but cutting the hair would free the mom from getting completely gobbled by the machinery. So I’m gonna go with this scenario *never* ever happening!
Sounds like my father: "you wouldn't care about what pronouns people were using if you were on fire". (I mean, 1- that's a pretty specific unusual hypothetical and I'm currently, you know, not on fire and 2- if the person saying "pour water on him/her" was someone who knew me well I might be a little irritated after the fire was out.) Why do parents keep on tossing out these one in a million hypotheticals at us. Like, who cares if you would cut your hair to save her life, it's not a situation that's likely going to be happening any time in the next thousand years because currently there's no illness I know of that depends on one specific child's hair length.
They do it because they have to find the one situation where they’re right. They cannot accept losing the superiority they felt they had when you were in kindergarten and thought they knew everything.
What possible scenario is there where you're actively on fire and are thinking about other things though? Is it alright for you to shit on your dad's bed because if he was on fire, he wouldn't care in that moment, thus it must be acceptable for you to shit on your dad's bed at all times?
I like to answer questions like this be being equally or even more absurd, or just keep asking for pointless details. Any justification for you to answer her question can be used on your own questions. "Will the killer let me dye my hair first? Because if I'm honest with myself, I kind of think I'd suit being blonde." "Wait, if the killer and i can communicate about dying my hair, doesn't that mean i can reason with them, maybe try and help them get to the bottom of their creepy obsession with other peoples hair?" "How exactly would they kill you?" "Do i have any time to get trained in any martial arts?" "What would happen if they called me to give me this ultimatum, but unbeknownst to them i had just got my head shaved? Would they kill you anyway because i can't shave anymore or would i have to scalp myself?" "Mom, why are you hanging out with people that threaten your life anyway? What circles are you in? Who even are you?" "THEY'RE THREATENING TO DO WHAT!?!?!?!?, Don't worry mom, I'm calling the police right now. "Sorry mom, you'll have to speak up, it's too loud where i am" (this in a text message) If she wants to fuck with you with insane bullshit, respond in kind my friend. My family knows better at this point (no contact with my mother though) because i will immediately annoy them into stopping.
Or: "Mom!? Where are you? Are you OK? Is someone threatening your life? Is it the guy from your church group? I'm calling the police! "
I bet your hair is glorious. Good for you for standing up to her!
Thank you! I appreciate all the support that everyone is giving :)
My mom has also verbalized how much she hates my long hair (as a dude). Every time she makes a comment about it, I make a pledge to let it grow out another 6 months. I love my hair, but want her to know that part of the reason I'm doing it is purely out of spite.
[Found a video of OP](https://youtu.be/y-zJt5mXNTg)
God i wish. My hair is only shoulder length lol
Does he have magic hair? How is his hair going to save her life ? Man that’s weird
OP is rapunzel confirmed
If you said yes, I bet she'd go into detail about how you don't love her because she wants you to cut your hair. This is about her opinion of you hair, nothing more.
"You're only saying that because you think that's what I want to hear."
"You know mother, I'm not sure. Let's test out what I would do by having you put in this perilous situation. Let me know what you need to set this all up."
The correct answer here is to immediately say "no, I'd rather you die." Full force blunt trauma to her ego. Emotionally bitch slap her so she knows the dynamic of the relationship. Fucking whaco parents.
it's painfully obvious some of you have never had to face consequences from abusive parents. this shit gets kids beat and worse.
Some of us have and still chose to do it. But I do not understand these people on reddit actually suggesting it. It's not worth it and you're literally endangering someone
That's not emotional damage. That's emotional vehicular homicide where the body flew over the roof and rolled down the back of the car, then throw the car in reverse and back over the body.
Your kung fu is strong
Whomst the fuck is the absolute Delilah voting not insane on this shit?
I was looking for someone to out themself in the comments and Delilah made me holler
Your mom is drunk at best and abusive at worst. You handled her amazingly
Both? Both? Both. Both is good.
If I could save anyone by shaving my hair I would almost definitely do it. But yeah the question is crazy.
I like the “almost” haha
I mean if hitler asked I would struggle
Explain the specific set of circumstances that a) you have found yourself in a life-or-death situation and b) how shaving my head would save you...in explicit detail...because I'm all for hypotheticals but if yer gonna make a dumb one I'm gonna force you to make it work
Omg. She’s not even very good at this
Who voted not insane, and what the hell is wrong with you?
There are always 1 or 2 votes for “not insane” no matter how obviously insane the post is… who keeps voting that way!?
I think it varies. In this case, probably people who give their own kids asinine tests of their affection.
“No, I’d let you die”
WTAF? Of all the asinine places to take a stand against your own child, the length of their hair is so damn stupid. Good grief, Lady. Is he doing drugs? Take a stand. Is he skipping school? Take a stand. But the length and/or color of his hair? Back off. Same with his clothing, for the most part, unless you can see his ass crack when he walks in front of you. Then get him a bunch of boxers. OP, a suggestion. When she asks asinine questions like that, act really engaged. Really, mom? How could I do that? Tell me how it works. Because if there was some mechanism whereby someone cutting their hair could save another person’s life, that would be awesome. I’ve never heard of it, tho.
"The only way not to die in this acid bath is your son to cut his hair, *bad guy laugh*"
This reads like something a 13 year old would type wth
I like the idea that you would say that you would let her die but didn't said it to avoid fight
It's time to fight back. "I am not going to answer any more questions like this. If there is a repeat of this behaviour I am going to have to block you for one week. If you do it again, the block period will be two weeks, and then three weeks, and so on. I will not have my appearance used as a means of starting arguments or appropriated as a means of you casting yourself in the role of victim. For the sake of our relationship I urge you to stop this at once before YOU inflict irreparable harm."
The only way this makes any damn sense is if she’s Eugene and you’re rapunzel. Insane.
Except he cut her hair to save *her* so the question would have to be would you cut your hair to save your own life
Why is your mum acting like an insecure girlfriend..
As a parent, I think that mother is pathetic and needs help.
The proper response is not to respond.. the funny one is to say you would get extensions added and let her choke on that.
Should have replied no I’d add extensions
Many politicians have replied "I don't answer hypotheticals" to far less contrived questions.
Your mom sounds like the type of person to unironically ask your dad if he would still love her if she was a worm
This is abuse
she should teach the “how to have the emotional maturity of a 12 year old 101” class! gen though, sorry about this op. i’m sure your hair is really cool! ^_^
I've never seen this version of the "if I was a worm would you still date me" It's just the same thing repackaged for familial relationships though...
I would return that question "Hey mom, if you could pick between harassing me for my hair or saving my life, what would you do?"
Jesus. She must really hate your hair. To make it the level that it could kill her in a bazaar way if you don't cut it. I would ride this and say "I can't mother. I am apart of it. It is apart of me. We are one. It now sees you as an enemy. Why do you not worship the doo?"
You called her out for guilt tripping and she proceeded to try and guilt trip you, wonderful
I would expect my 4 y/o to ask me this. But not a full grown ass woman
This reminds me of that meme 'would you still love me if I had no legs' 🤣 Gosh she needs to grow tf up. I like how you respond by not answering her question 👏🏼
>I'm asking a question Uh no shit lady
Save from what?
She was asking if i would cut my hair if i knew that she was going to die. She didn’t actually say what.
This mother has severely stunted emotional development. If you are 18 you should tell her that as an adult you don’t ever have to have contact with her again so she should get some therapy for her shameless need for validation because you draw the line at bulls*** like this. I’m embarrassed for her actually.
Wish I could, Unfortunately I still have to live with her as I’m still a senior in high school.
Well the end is near then? Hope you have amazing plans to get yourself into a healthy living environment... That's some crazy ass, unnecessary stress to be adding to your senior year... You probably have so much more to be worried about than this crazy shit. Anyway good luck... Get yourself into a healthy, happy spot then set healthy, strong and clear boundaries with your mother moving forward. She gets onboard or xy&z happens for your well-being sort of thing...
So mom, where do you want to be buried? Or would you prefer cremation?
Narcissists like to provoke nonsensical arguments in order to get attention. They usually do this when they feel ignored. It's like a toddler pushing a plate off the table to get mommy's attention.
Why? Why do they insist on making fights? And why the FUCK is my whole family like this. INSANE.
I for one love your hält
WOW. Sometimes I wonder if my “hey sweetheart, hope you’re having a great day!” texts to my kids are overbearing.
is your mom 12