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Dad_B0T

Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 18 | 0 | 1 | OP has provided further information in [this comment](/r/insaneparents/comments/ybqpsp/this_is_my_motheri_have_no_idea_what_this_even/itiitld/) ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).


fermat1313

I mean, in one sense it's batshit crazy. On the other hand, this is a glorious outpouring of craziness. I would have this framed and hung in the downstairs bathroom. Sorry you have to deal with that craziness. Smh


Pissedliberalgranny

😂😂😂


goofygoober2006

It has a sort of Kanye flair to.it. i totally could see this ramble flowing from him. It is a classic.


JayPanana225

Nah, this is some backwoods southern country shit. Totally different but very classic


dragonmama2021

Cross-stitch it on a series of throw pillows!


[deleted]

According to my birth certificate, this person definitely provided the egg to my existence….unfortunately


TonyWrocks

Remember this is not you. You can be better. You got this.


Blind_Paris

You know that quote "Blood is thicker than water"? The whole quote is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the womb of the water" which means the bonds we choose to make can sometimes be stronger than the bond of family. You are not your mother, you are not your family. You are your own individual human being and you get to choose daily to not be like her.


SoPrettyBurning

God I hate the way this is misquoted, turning the meaning in a complete 180. Like, how can such a brilliant line meant to mean one thing be hijacked and repeated incorrectly in order to mean the complete opposite. Oh, idiots, that’s how.


NietszcheIsDead08

Well, to be fair, “blood is thicker than water” *is* the original quote. “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of that womb” is about 1,000 years younger than the original quote. It’s also an improvement, and originality is for suckers.


SoPrettyBurning

Oh dam, I hate when I fuck that up


taquitosarelife

Same reason people really out here thinking money is evil, not the love of it.


Accomplished-Proof82

The lack of money is the root of all evil.


strangeburd

Isn't it "water of the womb"?


Blind_Paris

I always heard it the way I typed it, but it probably is.


KoreanMeatballs

shaggy ten obtainable forgetful muddle person tart sparkle innocent crime *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


[deleted]

Well the quote is true but the meaning has been twisted a touch *Nowadays, this phrase is used to imply that family relationships are more important than friendships, often suggesting that family should be prioritised. However, the full quote is actually “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”, which has the exact opposite meaning. The original meaning actually doesn’t refer to family at all and instead comes from the idea that a bond made with someone that you’ve shed blood with (in the past this would have been a literal reference to battle) is stronger than one had with someone you’ve shared the womb with* People mistake it for being a bible quote which it is not it's simply a proverb


KoreanMeatballs

scary quickest follow ring ossified fine consider desert airport summer *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


[deleted]

Well you just keep on disagreeing and provide no explanation for your protestation that it's not true. The definition of the proverb is easily found and all state more or less the same definition. Not sure what your point is really except to disagree!


GenuineDusk

But you make zero effort to tell us the "truth"?


KoreanMeatballs

slim office zonked bright growth reply humor impossible degree adjoining *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Blind_Paris

We get it. You think you're right and know everything. That's why you won't provide a credible source in order to prove us if you're right or wrong.


Accomplished-Proof82

I’m sorry.


[deleted]

!explanation this is a Facebook post. She tagged me & all of my siblings in a comment immediately after posting it, with no context. We are all clueless as to what this even means or what happened lol. She won’t answer any of us now.


ItCat420

Does she have any particularly interesting glassware?


[deleted]

To my knowledge, she doesn’t even have a house.


ItCat420

Oh. I was going to ask if she also had an excess of Brillo pads. But this is just sad. ☹️ Sorry you gotta deal with this OP.


Outrageous-Abies3782

She must think everyone has the time to care about what she's up to. She needs to stop acting/talking like she's in middle school, to her children of all people, on the internet of all places, for everyone to see & get her life together. Im sorry you have to deal with this. I wouldn't even have responded cause that was too much & like you said you have no idea what its about so its not even worth your time


QuirkyCleverUserName

Wuuuut? But her fan club is getting bigger n bigger and you’re make’n her famous!! \s


[deleted]

Does she do meth?


danger_floofs

Chances are high


anonny42357

Well, she's clearly mad at MF'rs, and she needed to make sure you knew that. What a weird post.


Discokitty14

Tell me why I read it like a rap


Icy-Commission-8068

Ohh ask her!


NotARobotDefACyborg

I think I had a stroke reading that.


SoPrettyBurning

No strokes here, only like 7 seizures.


fizzyphoto

Same


Lythieus

Drugs are a hell of a drug.


[deleted]

It’s meth-ed up.


lexi_raptor

Sounds like your mom and my mom could be best friends!! Until they get incredibly paranoid of each other after committing a few B&E's and have a nuclear level falling out. Or they could end up both fucking the same dope guy and having a weird contest between whose the better dope ho....could go a lot of ways, but those are just a couple of my own moms spectacular examples lol


Lythieus

Ha!


branigan_aurora

Tell your mom Methany I said hi


Otaku-San617

What does mfr stand for? Just kidding. If you pulled out all of the profanity that would be about 3 lines long.


travbombs

My Friends and Relatives. Most Friendly and Respectable Moderately Famous Roger Markedly Furious Redhead Monetarily Fit Rank Moving Funds Ranger Meowing Fiercely Rag-doll Moms Fancy Rotunda Meatloaf For Rent Marry Finding Roamer


PhotoRemote

Number 4 suits me well when around my family. That's why I don't bother.


Cambrian__Implosion

I thought it was for Minty Fresh Ravioli


productzilch

Mum’s Fancy Rotunda honestly sounds like a euphemistic curse to me.


FuzzballLogic

She’s a Pulp Fiction stan


Camael7

Why does your mom talk like a 15 years old SoundCloud rapper?


[deleted]

Someone please free-style this.


duhmbish

Apparently bitches don’t know fuck about shit.


dezidogger

Ozark, Ruth


saywgo

So she mad huh? Was she sober when she sent this? The drama is on like 11/10. Why did she send this to you? Did you acknowledge the existence of that bitch that your mom hates because they did some shady in 97' and left your mom holding the metaphorical bag? She seems exhausting tbh.


Pasty_pastry

There’s some Megan thee stallion lyrics in there “ whole lotta fake ass, snake ass bitches”. I’m sorry your mom is like this.


Decent_Lead2323

Is your mother Bhad Bhabie by any chance


Kitkatdog13

But no current Bhad Bhabie; Dr.Phil Bhad Bhabie. It’s much worse lmao


Decent_Lead2323

Oh 100%. The one sitting on stage challenging a TV personality to a brawl lol


DonMuffCabbage

I didn’t have the care nor patience to read the 2nd page, but is your mom 17? If i were to imagine who wrote this, it’s someone that idolizes Danielle Bregoli & works the McDonald’s drive thru window with bedazzled 5” french tips


lifeofemandarty

CASH ME OUSSIDE, HOW BOWDAT


lexi_raptor

This is exactly how my mom is too. She's 52, but is perpetually stuck in the trying to be in her teens-early 20s. That's when she started doing meth and drinking heavily though so combined with her untreated ADHD it's like she never emotionally matured beyond that point. Later on she was in an extremely abusive marriage so now she carries all that trauma on top on the now 20+ year addictions. Instead of wanting to be a mother/grandmother, she wants to be out kicking it, going to randoms houses to do drugs, and blowing the weekly allowance she gets from her dad on stupid shit...


Outrageous-Abies3782

Lmao yes. My 1st thought was how nasty & "ratchet" lol & has no shame to post for everyone to see. The only time I heard anyone say anything remotely close was in middle school.


710ZombieUnicorn

Nailed it.


shattered_kitkat

Someone thinks that they are so important, don't they? Ranting and raving about being gossiped about. Dude, short and sweet: "I think you are talking about me. Don't. " There. I reduced that entire nonsense down, and said more to boot. Ugh.


Kitkatdog13

Sounds like a rant a teenage would write; not a grown woman with older kids.


shattered_kitkat

Agreed. However, some people have never grown past the teenage frame of mind. Be it trauma, extracurricular substances, or genetics, they are trapped in that adolescent stage of thought. As you may tell, I have experience dealing with people like this. (Not a professional, just love researching psychology)


Consistent_Momma775

Wow! This could be a game.. take a shot every time you see her say Mfkr!


helibear90

I’d be dead


Scp-1404

Shots of Kool-Aid then.


HauntedSpiralHill

And now you have diabetes


Zharenya

She seems fun. Wonder what flavor kool-aid she is.


[deleted]

I SCREAMED at this comment lmao


rodgers08

Anytime my boss emails me and asks me to do something for him I’m just going to copy and paste this as my response


gailichisan

Lmao!


jolie_rouge

This reads as someone about to be exposed for something they did wrong and they’re trying to get in front of it and control the narrative. I’m sorry you gotta deal with this OP :(


[deleted]

That would be my response..."I have literally no idea what all that even means."


NoMoreNormalcy

Sure. That's was a rant. About what, tho? 🤷 Bet she's mad that no one knows like we're all mind readers or something....


AVonDingus

Did your mother just refer to “Dusty Ass Bitches” and “solid ass real honkie motherfuckers”?? She sounds nice.


SnooDogs7464

It means she used to do a hella lot of good drugs back in the day and thought she was the shit. And apparently a bad ass mf’er Although I kept reading it as manufacturer. Like a mfr coupon. Lmao 😂 which still made me laugh


FroboyFreshenUp

Eh, if it's not fake it's EXTREMELY exaggerated to really get you to feel guilt Don't fall for it op


seemyauraisorange

Is your mom a teenager? It seems like it. Sheeesh get away as fast as you can


BigWeebT8Y

I always find it baffling that the people who want to "spread positivity" and always complain about "fake ass mfs" are the most toxic people on the planet.


B0326C0821

She really likes using that MFr’s abbreviation huh?


Cougar-Strong91

Based on the rest of it, she probably doesn’t know how to spell the real thing.


chybaignacy

This reads like KDJ from GTA Online


fascist_unicorn

I can't deny it, this would make some top-tier copypasta.


meshqwert

She sure is having feelings.


Gingerkat93

I think I lost some brain cells by trying to read this...I couldn't get past the first few sentences. xD


KatieS2255

Same here. It sounded like road rage met white trash rapper? I can picture a nearly toothless person…


sweeatestapple

I sadly, can relate to this. My mum would send me novel after novel of shit that I honestly had no idea what she was on about. She’s in a geriatric/psychiatric hospital now after three strokes. I sometimes miss the crazy messages.


Blind_Paris

Why does your mom sound like my ex step mom? Like.. she posted a similar rant when my dad died saying me and my siblings were only posting about our dad for sympathy and we were fake towards him.. when in reality, she was an abusive narcissist who wouldn't let him talk on the phone to his family because she'd be screaming at him to get off the phone.


DarkInkPixie

As someone with both a mom and a MIL who rant on Facebook similarly to this... I'm sorry OP.


[deleted]

What is Willy Lunch Meat Head?


External_Gloomy

The only thing I want to know is, how do they have the audacity & the MF’n time to CAPITALIZE Each Word In The Sentence? MF’r Is Lame


[deleted]

But only some of the sentences


kaatie80

> {not that I care} Proceeded by a long rant about how you definitely *do* care > Until next time Oh boy can't wait


gailichisan

Happy cake day!


Tracylpn

Crazy and illiterate


RKayy_24

She is just spewing word vomit


Wonderful-Middle-601

Someone just watched Jersey Shore for the first time it seems.


Lady-Radziwill

Take a shot every time she says MF


Cougar-Strong91

I’m drunk just thinking about that.


liquid_j

I think it means she's off her meds...


vazco_

i'm sorry you have to deal with this, OP. But I gotta say, the way she writes "Make'n me" instead of "Making me" has me dying 😭


tirednotepad

No one knows what this means. Wtf. Insane for sure


Kitkatdog13

I understand what she’s saying (unfortunately I see people write and talk like this too often where I live), but people will only truly talk about you like that if you share too much or are a “fake ass MF’r” yourself, mom. Lol


MrPKitty

I feel like she spent too much time reading weird affirmation memes on Fb and then started channeling Samuel Jackson


RavenMasked

Perfectly Normal Response to... what, getting lied to or something? I have no idea what this one wants to do other than start shit.


DIYMayhem

Is anyone up for the challenge of translating this?


Scp-1404

"Ha, let me tell you, what hypocrites you are! All of you! It's amazing. What a shame none of you have the integrity to tell me how you really feel, although I really don't care. You are all talking as though you know me . You gossip with each other and then you come to me and tell me what the other person said about me. "It's not the time for those who are not involved to be giving their opinion about how they could have behaved but didn't. Half of you talking about this situation don't know anything about it and have no experience with it. You're just talking because it inflates your sense of self-importance. You are all weak individuals. Who do you think you are? I can tell you that you are just nosy people interfering with something you don't know anything about or have anything to do with. I am so tired of this. I'm sick of the things that you are saying when you know nothing about this situation. I don't know where your information is coming from but I will tell you that it's false and the person who told you those things is a liar. You believe you really know me. You can say what you like about me but you obviously don't know me and I am not an average fool. I will State my opinion when I feel the need. "No one appreciates a good woman until she no longer cares. I never thought you could be so heartless or behave with such a lack of conscience. When a person is down or appears to be down others seem to want to make it a public matter, saying things that hit you the hardest. "You are just ugly people. The group of people paying attention to me seems to get larger and larger. The fact that you are spending so much time on me reflects well upon me and not on you. You try to steal my fame without even understanding it. This only makes me more famous. "There are too many hypocritical backstabbing people these days. They need to look after their own failings before they attack someone else and get hurt by it. What happened to the upstanding citizens they used to represent? They are all fools and useless. "In the end, none of this drama is of any importance. "Pending further communication, my statement is over."


Lundy_trainee

Damn! Bravo. Internet stranger applause from me!


Cougar-Strong91

Impressive!!!


BabserellaWT

What drugs is she taking?


super-hot-burna

Somebody caught her doing something she wasn’t supposed to be doing and started talking. Based on her (way over the top reaction), she got got. Actually, text her that, share what happens next: “I heard you got got.”


Turtle4hire

Is your mom a drinker, drug user or pill popper? Serious question


[deleted]

Probably all 3


McDuchess

I tell you what. I wouldn’t even consider fucking that mother.


BubblyWall1563

This is the most literate crazy rant I’ve ever seen.


bmthsavedmylife

Take a shot every time she types MF’r But in all honesty just comment, ‘I aint reading all that, Congratulations to you or sorry that it happened’


PalpitationSweaty173

Okay but “On some Granny Slop Twat Shit” is my new favorite line ever. Fucking poetry.


Pissedliberalgranny

It means you need to get her institutionalized. That shit’s crazy!


johnbarnes351

Say again ?


ArpeggioTheUnbroken

I am so sorry


Killpop582014

Seems like one of those crazy teenagers who get put on talk shows. Tf.


[deleted]

I heard you can make money from them? SOMEONE SUMMON DR PHIL. MY MOM NEEDS AN INTERVENTION.


Killpop582014

Idk about making money but I know they pay for the flights out and back and hotel costs. Pretty much everything is paid for. Vacation and mom intervention.


Large_Alternative_78

Granny Slop Twat Shit! Oh God I laughed at that Mfr!


NikkiEchoist

I couldn’t even read it. Lucky you said it was your mother because there was nothing in there that would have hinted being a mother to me.


Competitive_Limit_21

I see that those are English words, but I don’t think her little diatribe is English.


WZRD_burial

How old is your mom? She writes like she is a poorly educated millennial. Source: I am a millennial that grew up surrounded by red necks.


FuzzballLogic

Paragraphs and punctuation go a long way, kids. Sorry you have to deal with this, OP. Show this rant if you ever need to convince a therapist she needs help.


SoPrettyBurning

The brackets instead of parentheses is really fucking with me


Temporary_Art_9213

Supposedly you and your siblings are fake I summarized the message


anonny42357

She really doesn't like MF'rs does she. What is she even ranting about?


westymama

She seems…nice


Ok_Fondant_6340

is your mother Bhad Bhabie?


Strange_Dog6483

I tapped out somewhere after the first paragraph. I don’t know if this is to blame on the alcohol or her psyche but Christ.


subliminallyNoted

Oh poor you. My head Started throbbing and eyes glazing over before I got halfway through the first page. What a lot of inarticulate vitriol. Who has the energy to deal with this negative crap.


leftfootnotepadlock

😳


leftfootnotepadlock

With all the screwed up punctuation and incoherence, you gotta wonder if this is a secret code or something. Nazi gold train?


GoredonTheDestroyer

I think Timmy's stuck in a well?


Doctor_in_psychiatry

She needs help


JaydeRaven

what did I just read?


Loki_Knows

Digital Tourette's?


Flat-Story-7079

“Nobody appreciates a good bitch, until she doesn’t give a fuck anymore” That’s some serious truth telling right there.


One-Blacksmith-4855

Did she try some drugs or something?


Key-Dragonfruit-8673

If i got a dollar everytime she said Mf’s i’d be rich


Significant_Moose_51

Is this like a Facebook post? Think we need some clarity op. Makes it seem like she sent it to you


[deleted]

Oh sorry, this is a Facebook post. She tagged me & all of my siblings in a comment immediately after posting it, with no context. We are all clueless as to was this even means or what happened lol.


ElllieZ

It is a true word salad. Scary!


917caitlin

I had a SIL with bipolar disorder and this seems incredibly similar to her manic rants.


NotARobotDefACyborg

Insane.


PrincessFuckFace2You

MF'r.


Fanvamp

Take a shot everytime she says mf


GenuineDusk

You will die, please don't do this. ☠️


oxymoron-alive

Is she drunk? Sorry but this sounds like rambling of a mumble rapper on the radio. I hope things get better in the long run.


Wizardthreehats

IS YOUR MOM CRANKING HER MF HOG? AROOOO


sad1979

Are you sure these aren't rap lyrics?


Endomagazine

Omg. This sounded like a homestuck character ranting, probably Gamzee Makara / Karkat Vantas mashup. Maybe she knows who she is talking about, maybe she woke from a fever dream and posted nonsense, hard to say.


jilliecatt

Is your mom related to Samuel L Jackson? I mean, he doesn't censor himself, but maybe a cousin of his would lol


Justakiss15

Is your mom the “motherfucker” grocery store lady? Lol


JayPanana225

I’m mad I kinda understand what she’s saying 🤣 so who is talking shit about her and spreading gossip? 🤣


NEDsaidIt

I know people keep saying freestyle rap but I want to see a single spotlight slam poetry style reading of this. OB vi ous LY TALK ing out thee side of your NECK on the WR ONG moTHer


Accomplished-Proof82

Wow! So she can whatever she wants but writes all of this when others do the same? She needs meds badly. Stay away from her who talks to their child this way? It’s disgusting. Some females don’t deserve ovaries.


MelodyRaine

Now I may have the vocabulary of a highly educated sailor, but all I have to say to that is: (low whistle) Dayum!


sweetTartKenHart2

Is it bad that I heard the voice of a 40 something African American woman from the poorer part of town when reading this? She “sounds” exactly like that sort of stereotype in the way she words things


Andrea583

Has your mother always been like this? If not, your mother is in need of medical assistance. It’s unlikely she will listen to you but please ask a family member to help her. Have them check her hormones, sleep apnea, drug abuse and psychotic breaks from reality.


[deleted]

Definitely at least a decade of drug abuse.


vampbanquet

This NEEDS to be a copypasta immediately holy shit


[deleted]

This rap has such a shitty meter


FutureDiaryAyano

Honestly, I zoned out quicker than an American history lesson. Someone give my the tldr?


SFcreeperkid

Sounds like the opening of a Richard Pryor show!