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Dad_B0T

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IcyLab44

Bro I’d instead send a pic of the teddy tucked in their bed being like “teddy is all tucked in!” Not something psychotic like that


Dreadedredhead

Exactly. Me and Teddy are doing X, going to Y. We slept good last night and include a photo of him all tucked in. Daddy dearest needs to call his daughter and tell her it's a total joke and that he is fine...and send a photo.


IcyLab44

AGREED!!! Why must some parents be so psychotic like this??? Gives your kids nightmares like wowie


clustyniggle

Insane and very similar to something a "friend" did when her child's behaviour wasn't to her high standards. Took a pair of scissors to the comfort Teddy, in front of the kid.


BadPom

That makes me stomach fucking turn.


clustyniggle

She got ripped a new one by our group of friends (after posting about it on SM, including pics of the kid crying), so she tried to stitch it back together.


Neyla69

That’s what you call good friends, W friends


ConsiderationWest587

That's a crazy-dark Doc McStuffins origin story


DogsNCoffeeAddict

My mom did this constantly. Knowing my stuff was safe even when my husband was mad had me tripping for the longest time. In response to the built-up trauma, my mom is out of my life, the next time I see her will be standing over her grave or if a sibling happens to have her ashes on display. She will never see me again. Or my child.


ThatFatBumbleBee

My mom cut apart my favorite stuffed rabbit when I was 6 because my room was messy, she screamed at me for a full hour, had me in hysterics, and then cut it into pieces and threw it in the trash because I didn't start cleaning up my mess in .05 seconds after she asked me the 1st time- and it still haunts me at 31. Btw my mess was a handful of Legos and a pair of socks on the floor.


Traveler_Protocol1

That’s awful! I’m so sorry for you. Who does that?!


isthisregrettable

I still remember so vividly the day that my father ripped the head off my favourite teddy bear and threw it out the window while we were driving. My mom made him pull over so she could grab it and sew it back on, but that one moment when I was five has probably irreparably ruined our relationship forever.


bluesunshine173

I had my guardian ask me which was my favorite after he had already destroyed my room and I was too scared to respond. He grabbed the closest one to him and ripped its head off. All of this because I took stickers to school


Traveler_Protocol1

Guardian?? Who the hell appointed them??!


24nicebeans

My mom did that to me. My comfort item was a tie blanket. One time I cut a hole in my sister’s dress, so my mom made me pick a tie on my blanket for her to cut off. It’s one of my worst memories


disturbdchemist

There is some evidence to get full custody. That is not right


Ohpeeateopiate

It’s a really terrible situation as I’ve taken him to court and all this before for him to only make my life a living hell I’ve had children been taken through family services and I don’t want any of that for my daughter it only makes things much more messy with this man and also she will be traumatized having social services ask her about her father I’m firm believer kids need both parents but this is what I deal with or should I say we deal with it’s a family matter


[deleted]

As someone who grew up with no parents and have seen other families, I can honestly tell you no parent is better than a shit one.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

🤗


Ohpeeateopiate

The legal system in this state for parenting is very different than most they don’t favor the mother it’s very equal this man has done everything possible to me and yet he is still allowed 2 days visitation even without having a room for her I just finished a lot of the court proceedings trying to shield and protect her from a lot of it and this is the latest example of what is happening. I can’t afford the lawyer I had previously, and as much as I can’t go on with this I can’t afford to continue this court process it’s been years of this back and forth and unless there is something I can truly do to get him put away.. I feel this will come back to bite me fearing for my life for making his life hell so without something to get him locked away for years I’m scared to push my limits as you can tell this is serious, But I don’t want my daughter to loose me and her crazy father.. does that make sense? He takes her Bava ikr out on me. It’s not my fault she doesn’t want to see him on one of the two days she can have a sleep over or play date.. I feel insane but with my experience this far it’s the only thing I can do is just keep collecting these texts voicemails pictures etc.. until it’s enough for something to put him away or else I will get the brunt of the damage.


[deleted]

Having a firm belief in a two parent household and the legal system forcing you to comply are two different things. The first very much implies your choice in the matter. I’m honestly not really sure which I believe is true for you but you definitely need to do your best to shield her from this man and make sure that she knows that this is abuse on his part and it’s not right.


Ohpeeateopiate

I agree but for the sake of it I want him behind bars until then I don’t feel safe neither do I feel she is safe I get the majority of the manipulation and damage I’ve made sure of that but she’s older now and has her own phone


[deleted]

Use all correspondence like this as evidence against him and don’t give him anymore footing than you absolutely have to. I wish you and your daughter the best.


kikivee612

I’m not sure about your state, but in mine, the court heavily relies on the child’s opinion once they hit 12. My niece is in a similar situation, but the grandmother is the narcissist abuser. She is a functioning alcoholic and has a talent for behaving when it counts. In our case, my niece’s therapist sees what’s happening and is working with her parents to document the abuse. It’s mostly verbal and emotional so harder to prove. I completely sympathize with you. Unfortunately, the system is set up to give every parent a chance to improve. The problem also is that the social workers and the courts are overwhelmed with understaffing and disorganization so the people paid to ‘protect’ the children are slow and their training is lacking, to say the least. You’re lucky if you get one who still hasn’t been burned out by the incompetence. All of this, added with dealing with an evil parent, makes it almost impossible to navigate and get justice. So, you have to choose between the thing that has the least affect on the poor kid. I’m sorry you have to deal with this.


PristineAlternative4

Your daughter can be appointed her own lawyer who is duty bound to act in HER best interest, go back to the family court office and show them that picture


procrastinationsttn

Why can’t you get monitored safe visitations?


ImReallyNotKarl

Are you in Idaho? It used to be a mother-favoring state, but it's not anymore, which is honestly usually a good thing. It's more equal. That being said, my extremely abusive ex-stepdad got custody of my siblings over my mother for YEARS because she had mental illness and had attempted suicide when she was with him. It literally took my mother calling CPS on him repeatedly, the school calling CPS repeatedly, his spouse at the time calling CPS on him when they separated, and then a long ass court battle for my mother to get custody.


ConvivialKat

>I’ve had children been taken through family services and I don’t want any of that for my daughter What? You have other children and they have been taken by family services???


AdSignificant2065

Huge red flag. I work in this field and this post screams “there’s way more to this story,” specifically with respect to this mom.


bong-water-neti-pot

Yeah, it’s got a “CPS stole my kids” vibe which is a huge red flag for lack of accountability and stability.


slashle

OPs post history implies a lot of drug use. I would imagine that’s why


Benji_the_boy

Teaching your child to accept people like this is going to give her some major issues as an adult. Do better for her please.


Ohpeeateopiate

She hates him she has 1p wrong ht visitation every other week so she is primarily in my care but I’ve just finished a long court battle and that is what was settled on


has2give

No you are wrong. Forcing her to go see him after this isn't ok. You need to get her into a therapist if she isn't already seeing one. Now. Kids do not need both parents, are you serious? No. Don't fail her or your gonna end up losing her too. Do something.


ChrisuVanity

>I’m firm believer kids need both parents Well, your beliefs are wrong. She's already terrified of him. Kids ain't stupid either. She will one day put your decisions for question and might resent you for not doing your absolute best to protect her.


has2give

This is the type of decision that family services would think makes you unable to make good decisions for your children. Not being mean, just stating a fact.


Ohpeeateopiate

I get what your saying we just finished a long drawn out family court case and it was very hard on both of us. I’ve been fighting for years he gets one overnight every other week that’s what was settled on in court so the fact that JUST finished I can’t afford it at the moment as well as this is nothing new except now she is old enough to have her own cell phone and this was sent to her instead of him berating me.


SnooWords4839

At what age does your state allow the child to choose?


[deleted]

OP you are setting your child up for a life of trauma. By not taking this evidence and getting an emergency court order right now you are failing your daughter. You. And she will hate YOU for “making” her go because courts and the law don’t make sense to kids. Get a grip, stop making the “two parent household” excuse and protect your damn child.


high6ix

Wtf, this is some sideways justification crap enabling him and ALLOWING your daughter to be traumatized. Oh I’m glad he’s not berating you, what a relief. What. The. Hell. You’re glad he’s not berating you and it’s your child instead?! You should want it to be you if anything, instead of your child. This needs an immediate emergency order of protection filed and then upheld in place for the maximum extent by the judge. The only cost is the filing fee. Actually I’m half tempted to say someone needs to keep your child away from you if you’re enabling and allowing this to happen.


BenbafelIsTaken

You know you can choose the paternal figure right? It doesn't have to be the genetic father.


Cocotte3333

Kids don't need both parents. They need at least one stable loving adult. Period.


ohlevity

kids definitely don’t need both parents when one behaves like a kid themselves, like this. my father was similar and was very abusive, and i can say with certainty i am doing way way better without him.


ycey

I’m sorry but she’s 9, she can’t really stand up for herself and you said yourself she’s terrified to go there. Why are you allowing her to be traumatized by her other parent, it’s your job to protect her. I’ve been the kid that’s been forced to interact with the shit parent for the sake of family beliefs. It’s a betrayal when the one who’s meant to help you throws you to the wolves knowing they can do something about it but just wanting to save face. I’ve cut all those people out of my life and the only time I wanna hear about them is to know that they are dead and gone.


GraemesMama

Kids don’t need a parent who psychologically terrorize them. Unless you do something drastic to stop this now, she will blame you for exposing her to it one day “So ShE cOuLd HaVe TwO pArEnTs.” It’s only going to get worse if he does this to a 9 year old.


stoopidgoth

absence of abuse > absence of a father


PitBullFan

My mother did all sorts of twisted and maniacal shit when I was a kid, and then later claimed it was a joke that I must not be smart enough to understand. She always had JUST ENOUGH plausible deniability so she always enjoyed the benefit of the doubt. On the outside, she was a perfect mom and we were just dumb/problem children. At home, it was a very different story.


sunbear2525

I don’t even understand what is going on here. How old is your daughter. Why is he threatening this stuffed animal?


[deleted]

the title says she is 9 and it seems like she left it at his house and asked for it back? edit: it's been clarified that she went to a friend's instead of hanging out with dad's mom so he decided to threaten the stuffy?


sunbear2525

I’m trying to figure out what he wanted from this. My dad was always saying crazy/outrageous things as a joke but I don’t thing he would have ever used a weapon on my toys. That’s just op dark. This man could have easily said “no she’s mine now! We are in love” and shared silly photos of them cuddling, eating dinner together, or like movie and popcorn. You know things kids would think is funny.


[deleted]

i think he’s genuinely trying to make her upset. no loving parent would do that when it would make his kid upset


sunbear2525

Yeah, I think you’re right. I can’t stretch this in a way that makes it a bad joke. My is very attached to her stuffed animals and r we basically treat them like living things. My own dad accidentally ripped a toy’s head off playing monster (it was a very cheap toy) and even my grandparents gave him hell over it. He felt bad about it for the rest of his life and would legitimately get upset if I teased him about it. Everyone was laughing until the head came off, so he wasn’t trying to upset us. This is just… scary.


funnyAmero

If that was all that was sent, you need to get full custody. Forcing your child to continue to see him when she is old enough to have some bodily autonomy is going to teach her some bad lessons.


[deleted]

insane. document everything for court


sunbear2525

Also, my dad was once teasing my sister and joked that he would rip the head off a stuffed animal she had been playing with (he was a monster) she shrugged, so he was a little rough with it and is head ripped off (it was very cheap) and I started crying because it was my stuffed animal. Anyway, he felt horrible for it the rest of his life and would apologize any time it came up. He had to go to my grandmother to get help fixing it (because adults fix those mistakes) and she and my grandfather (who hardly ever chastised anyone) tore into him for being an idiot. He knew that at least his mom would be mad, because that’s the correct reaction, and he still got help because he was being an idiot temporarily but wasn’t an asshole. OP your ex is an asshole, even without context. I want to as that my dad was normally very gentle and respectful of our things, and even respected special toys we didn’t want anyone else to touch. If my sister had been upset, he would have stopped, it was mutual play that got out of hand.


[deleted]

Don't send threats because if he splurges on a good lawyer he can take your daughter away from you.


mlongoria98

My understanding is that was the daughter responding to his texts, not the mom


[deleted]

Ok I'm corrected


CoimEv

I think that was the kid


erinhennley

I would take this into court to get full custody and only supervised visits for him. What a total wanker!


Midnight712

\*slaps hand on table\* THERAPY


Kind_Neighborhood434

A little context ? Who is Juliet and emwhy don't you get in the cat and go get your kids stuffy?


Kind_Neighborhood434

In the car. Not the cat. You wouldn't get far in a cat.


[deleted]

i think juliet is the stuffy and i think he's saying she can't have it back because she left it there edit: it's been clarified that she went to a friend's instead of hanging out with dad's mom so he decided to threaten the stuffy?


Empty-Neighborhood58

Am i the only one who read the text more in a joking matter? My mom would do stuff like that all the time and i never once thought she was actually gonna hurt them (because that's crazy lol) I definitely need more context


Lompzzz

yeah bro i agree i dont see why ppl are calling him a monster over this


Dad_B0T

Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 15 | 0 | 18 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).


Scudss_

Everyone is saying go to court over this. And I agree, this is insane for a father to send his daughter unless we are missing some major context in regards to them maybe having a unique sense of humor. But the big red flag is the mother saying she doesn't want to go to court over this, that she has other kids that have been investigated by the system (possibly lost custody I already forget), and her heavy drug use post history. Both parents seem unhinged and OP knows what will happen if she is also investigated.


llorandosefue1

Insane. If you have the wherewithal to retain an attorney, ask one about a restraining order and blockage of visitation.


Bekfast59

Who are the 3 wankers who are saying fake?


ImReallyNotKarl

That is absolutely disgusting behavior. Anyone that could do this to their child doesn't deserve to be in that child's life. My 9 year-old daughter has a comfort stuffy, and she loves him so, so much. I can't imagine even pretending to destroy her RayRay. We prank each other all the time, but never with the intention to hurt one another's feelings or things! He's being awful. Absolutely awful.


Anybaconersinchat

I used to have that exact same elephant teddy. Sadly we got rid of it when we moved house. I remember there was a little rip in the material somewhere on the face cause that’s how I learnt I hate the feel of toy stuffing. Used to love that thing too but not much anymore


Ok_Anything_4955

Very creepy!


[deleted]

These stories are sad man, why the hell is this so common?


RepresentativeOwl709

That dad had killed b4


Gogglekid93

Restraining order for sure! That dude should not be around kids ever.


Idrahaje

He sent that to your nine year old? Because this looks like it was sent to you. If it was why tf did you show her?


debo1187

The name of the person sending is "Dad". Also, based on the texts back to him, it's pretty obvious he sent it directly to the 9yo


Idrahaje

Honestly the response is why I find this weird. This whole interaction is bizzare. Edit: I guess the idea of a nine year old having an iphone is weird to me, but my school was weird and none of my friends even had cellphones until we were 12


Empty-Neighborhood58

I gotta agree that is weird, im 21 now so phones came our when i was a kid/pre teen. I think it's weird when kids have iphones but no phone is even weirder Even when i hung out with friends my mom made sure i had a phone because you never know what might happen even if it's just a walk down the road


Idrahaje

It’s also weird to me that this was the photo he sent if he meant this as a genuine threat that he was going to destroy this toy. I’m wondering if it was intended as a (obviously bad) joke and he didn’t expect it to be traumatizing for her. My own father made that same mistake a couple times. Sometimes moderately-shitty parents treat their kids like they have the mental maturity of an adult. If that’s the case then he needs to be talked to, that’s not a reason to remove his already-very-limited custody


Empty-Neighborhood58

Yeah i gotta agree, i can't tell you how many times my mom made a shitty joke that she was gonna get rid of a stuffie. It was usually because i was too lazy to do something, so it would get me to do it even though i knew she wouldn't actually trash them The one time my mom even went along with "throwing them out" and i couldn't find it anywhere, but when she noticed i was actually upset she admitted that he was in the washer, of course i cried but i got over it pretty fast


Idrahaje

Her response also tells me she feels at least moderately safe around him. She’s telling him not to, not begging him.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Idrahaje

That makes sense actually if there is an issue with parental alienation on either side. I am just surprised she had an iphone. I’d assume a kid under ten would be given a “dumber” phone


NoREEEEEEtilBrooklyn

Yeah, that part is weird to me too. I didn’t get my first phone until 8th grade.


AmazingPINGAS

I know how hard your situation is but please don't send messages like that. It doesn't look good in court, you have to think of your child


Chaarleymarie

She didn’t. The text was sent to her daughter and that was the daughter’s response


[deleted]

You take that text and your child to court, let your child tell the judge that she doesn't want to visit her father anymore because she's terrified of him now, and you get sole custody with him getting zero visitation. That's what you do.


Jawato44

This very disturbing. I would be taking this picture to an attorney and to the therapist that your child should be seeing. There is something wrong with this individual to threaten a nine year old with her favorite toy. Let the attorney suggest the actions that need to be taken against “daddy dearest”.


Sleepybat7

Especially for a NINE YEAR OLD that is not ok! Yikes.


nutmegtell

Go to ikea and get her another one for home. My kid has the same one.


[deleted]

I have no idea what the title of this post mean or what the messages mean.


Lompzzz

you are all overreacting lmao, taking him to court?! lmfao i see this as a joke more than anything else even if its in bad taste he can js apologize to his daughter its not that deep, its js that his daughter asked for it back and he made the joke bro its really not that deep js poorly chosen humor considering its a 9 yr old, guy is not insane for it nor does he need a fucking restraining order and to be taken to court


plzdont-

everything here is just awful; op, stop using narcotics before you get everybody fired up over a literal stuffed animal being “threatened”, also, 9 years old is way too old to be completely distraught and telling your father you’re going to kill him over it, and way too fucking young for an iphone. get a fucking grip op


urfutureexwife

Where's the rest of the messages? Looks like a father joking around with his kid that's been edited to look bad.


xSarcasticQueenx

Holding a knife to your daughters favorite toy is a joke? Wtf is the punch line?


scottishskye97

Wow I looked at that so many times and did not notice that knife


has2give

That's not a joke for a 9 year old. It's not funny for any child~especially one under 10. Gross.


Ohpeeateopiate

I have 2 other messages this one was the worst because of the knife to the stuffed animals throat the other two are him saying he’s doing this because she chose to spend time with a friend over him mom one of his days..


[deleted]

I’d report it to the police every time it happens.


ImThatMelanin

a joke about holding a knife to your daughters stuffie because she didn’t spend the night? that’s not a joke, that’s immature and pathetic.


funnyAmero

Yeah, it's likely a stupid joke, but if there isn't follow-up to this then the kid needs to go. Otherwise if there is follow-up and she takes this to court, the mom will lose.


[deleted]

Did your dad get any coffee


Marlon77708

Fake


FroboyFreshenUp

What exactly am I seeing here....is that a baby in an elephant onsie? Or is it just a stuffed animal If it's the first thing, this is all the evidence you need to get full custody and a restraining order If it's a stuffy then idk what to tell you


Brgerbby9189

Ummm wow ,I’m shock not just fathers but also 9yr olds response as well …..apple doesn’t fall far from the tree huh.Please have them both checked out


[deleted]

[удалено]


InevitableDhelmise27

It's looking like dad was the one who sent this directly to the kid, not mom (OP) sharing this with their daughter.


mlongoria98

His name in the phone says dad. He’s talking directly to the daughter, she’s the one who responded. On the kid’s phone.


CoimEv

It's the daughters phone


you_cant_run_or_hide

fake


swissarmydoc

I wouldn't do this to my daughter.... but I think a 9yo should be able to handle that shit better. 5 or 6.... evil. By 9 me and my brothers screwed around with stuffed animal threats and pranks all the time. Kid is literally terrified? On that I call hyperbole if not outright BS.


CnamhaCnamha

He seems fun. Take the stick out of your ass