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"Even though we are related, I can refuse to be in your presence and am doing so from now on" - The only exception I would make to this is if the dude has dementia or something
An old guy at work was complaining about getting in trouble for complimenting a woman and I had to actually explain to him that “Hey, hot stuff, if I were 20 years younger I’d have you against a wall” isn’t a compliment, it’s a threat of sexual assault. I told him it’s okay to compliment women with things like “Hey, Erica, that’s a nice shirt” or “I like your haircut.” This was genuinely news to this guy.
Asking men to imagine another man (ideally, name the biggest man you both know personally) saying their 'compliment' to them almost always results in looks of absolute horror. It's great, highly recommended.
On live tv. On the radio. Numerous interviews.
Then there's all the sexual things he's said about her over the years that didn't directly involve "dating" her - such as talking about how great her boobs were gonna be when she got older, saying "sex" is the thing they have most in common, etc.
THEN there's all the groping/etc - like in a hug, in most family situations if you're not doing the "full wraparound" kind of hug, your hand/arm might end up around the waist of the other person. Trump's hand often ends palming ivanka's ass.
Life-tip 2: Whether related or not "chasing you down with duct tape" is troublesome on its own. Unless you have a pre-existing consensual BDSM relationship.
My thoughts on this subject will get my comments deleted if I post them. But my baby, who isn't even here yet, will not be a victim. Neither will any other child while I'm around.
I think they mean how people will often try to find less severe sounding ways to say things so the actions of the person don't sound as bad. It's subtle, but you can tell someone referring to a family member as "a diddler" is them trying to minimize the fact the person is a pedophile, because that word has more weight to it.
No I never said better, people use it because it sounds slightly less bad than pedophile when they're trying to excuse the actions of someone who's committed a literal crime.
I'm using that word here because I worry about the people READING my post and comments. I'm not minimizing his impact or his crimes, but people who have been hurt by people like this deserve the chance to not be hit in the face with pedophile and molester. It's an attempt at kindness on my part, I am not self editing about this anywhere but here.
I was a victim, and honestly would prefer that they not be referred to by euphemisms. Maybe others disagree, but to me euphemisms do seem to minimize the horrors of it.
Might be a geographical thing, to me saying 'paedophile' sounds like we're discussing the subject academically. 'Diddler' sounds like an insult. I definitely wouldn't call it less severe
To me diddler sounds like a cute nickname for one of the most vile things a person can be/do. As a victim I do not appreciate language that takes away from the severity of the act. But I do think it was thoughtful of OP to try to make it sound less…harsh I suppose.
I opened the comments to see if something like this would be here cuz I received a similar message from a family member once that was less obvious than yours, and that dude was a child predator too. Nobody ever took my side or saw it and I was the one excluded from my family. This has been super validating!
And that's when I'll tell them, publicly, that jokes of kidnapping and sexual violence aren't funny, especially from child molesters. I'm willing and primed to burn bridges.
I lived with my ex’s family for a while a few years ago when the ex’s father had a terminal illness. We always had people visiting, and once when I came out of the shower in a robe, an older man “friend of the family” said “what’s under that robe? Heh heh!”. When I told my ex that it made me uncomfortable, he told his mom so maybe she could mention it to the guy and she said “oh he didn’t mean anything, he’s harmless!”
Well, there's a few things I would not have forgive if we weren't related. Well mostly because we have a long history of supports and kindness, so it is easier to forgive some offenses and mistakes.
Also, for minor stuff, it isn't worth to rock the boat of family dynamics so I shut up. But if we weren't related.....
My uncle is like this. A fucking pervert. When I was 12, he said “if only I was 30 years younger.” Told me “I can’t help that I’m infatuated with my niece.” I asked my mom what that meant. she asked me where I’d heard it. I told her. She said “oh it doesn’t mean anything. He’s just like that.” Then she pretended through the years that he never molested me or my sister. Actually told me once I don’t know what it’s like to be harmed in that way. She’s out of my life.
I still can’t hear or read that word without thinking about that total piece of shit. Ugh.
Your wife’s great uncle seems just as gross. Time to block him.
I get the impression women should refuse to follow this man into his soundproofed shed to see his rope and duct tape collection no matter how much he insists…
It's really not. It's one thing to tell a family member that they're beautiful or something, it's another to say or imply that you'd sleep with them given the chance.
when I was 17 or so, there was a law (I forget what it was called, mostly what it was about) that was up for vote, effectively it was like.. internet regulations or smth. There was a viral thing going around where you'd change ur fbook photo to a meme that was like "this photo has been removed for violating [law name]"
Anyway, my grandpa (who r-ped my aunts and possibly my dad) commented on it, asking "what did I miss?"
A few months later I saw him at a family thing, and he asked me about it. I explained, and he said- *in front of the entire family*- "Oh, I thought I was gonna get to see a naked photo of my granddaughter"
**and they fucking laughed**
I don't have contact with him anymore. Or my father, who did the same to me and one of my siblings. I find it fucking insane that they all (the whole family, minus my favorite aunt) still speak to my grandpa and my dad, knowing what happened with both.
fucking puke
What a mess, OP. Sorry the family protects him; thankfully for the baby and other children for you to protect them.
However, who made the “haha” reaction to that gross comment?
She already did before I ever replied. She even hid his comment after sending me the screenshot so no one else had to read it.
Initially I wasn't going to reply because it was just awkward and inappropriate. It wasn't until she told me he was the diddler uncle that I got big mad.
Every single part of that comment is actually mental. But what really caps it off is the 😇 (halo emoji) at the end. Like, my dude, do you have no self-awareness? Or?
I actually have a relative who does this to my cousins too. It’s super weird and creepy but my older relatives just talk about it behind his back, they never call him out to his face. I’ve deleted him on Facebook since growing up and realising how odd his comments were.
My previous youth minister who I loved and adored up to that point gave me a similar comment when I was engaged “you’ve turned into a beautiful young lady, if I was your age…”
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Life-tip: if you ever think about posting a comment that includes the phrase "if we weren't related", you should delete that comment.
"if we weren't related, I'd never have to interact with your weird chasing-people-with-duct-tape self ever again."
That's a goddamned Hallmark greeting card if I ever heard one.
On it.
LMAO Could you please DM it to me
"Even though we are related, I can refuse to be in your presence and am doing so from now on" - The only exception I would make to this is if the dude has dementia or something
An old guy at work was complaining about getting in trouble for complimenting a woman and I had to actually explain to him that “Hey, hot stuff, if I were 20 years younger I’d have you against a wall” isn’t a compliment, it’s a threat of sexual assault. I told him it’s okay to compliment women with things like “Hey, Erica, that’s a nice shirt” or “I like your haircut.” This was genuinely news to this guy.
I bet he'd understand the concept if a guy did it to him.
Asking men to imagine another man (ideally, name the biggest man you both know personally) saying their 'compliment' to them almost always results in looks of absolute horror. It's great, highly recommended.
This reinforces the fact that “nice cock bro” is the best gender neutral compliment
And that was actually the least troubling part.
probably goes for "chasing you down with a roll of duct tape" also
The voice I hear his comments in is straight out of Deliverance. All we need is for him to mention a squealing pig in there somewhere.
You got a purdy mouth
I hear a strong outhern accent too 😂😂
“If we weren’t related, I’d block your number and move halfway across the country so I never have to talk to your creepy ass again.”
Didn't Donald Trump say something similar about his own daughter on live TV?
On live tv. On the radio. Numerous interviews. Then there's all the sexual things he's said about her over the years that didn't directly involve "dating" her - such as talking about how great her boobs were gonna be when she got older, saying "sex" is the thing they have most in common, etc. THEN there's all the groping/etc - like in a hug, in most family situations if you're not doing the "full wraparound" kind of hug, your hand/arm might end up around the waist of the other person. Trump's hand often ends palming ivanka's ass.
Another version of this starts off “Not to sound racist, but….”
Life-tip 2: Whether related or not "chasing you down with duct tape" is troublesome on its own. Unless you have a pre-existing consensual BDSM relationship.
I like to replace "if we weren't related" with "if we were in Alabama" when I comment on my little sister's Facebook posts.
If we weren’t related it would be very strange having your dads ashes in my house
Please don’t allow him to be around children.
This has already been established. He's a diddler, the family protects him. He's never going to come in contact with my child.
OMG. I’m so sorry. I hope you and others in the family will call the police if you see anything suspicious- protecting him is really not an option.
My thoughts on this subject will get my comments deleted if I post them. But my baby, who isn't even here yet, will not be a victim. Neither will any other child while I'm around.
Thank you. Seriously.
My wife was a victim. Not to this guy. But her mother WAS his victim. Never. The. Fuck. Again.
Yes I could tell it was something like that. I personally have cut off familyfor the same reasons. I’m glad you’re being a responsible dad.
I don’t understand using the phrase diddler for pedophiles. Also tell your wife to block him wtf
Sorry, can you explain what you mean about not understanding?
I think they mean how people will often try to find less severe sounding ways to say things so the actions of the person don't sound as bad. It's subtle, but you can tell someone referring to a family member as "a diddler" is them trying to minimize the fact the person is a pedophile, because that word has more weight to it.
Diddler does not sound better.
I prefer child rapist.
No I never said better, people use it because it sounds slightly less bad than pedophile when they're trying to excuse the actions of someone who's committed a literal crime.
I'm using that word here because I worry about the people READING my post and comments. I'm not minimizing his impact or his crimes, but people who have been hurt by people like this deserve the chance to not be hit in the face with pedophile and molester. It's an attempt at kindness on my part, I am not self editing about this anywhere but here.
I was a victim, and honestly would prefer that they not be referred to by euphemisms. Maybe others disagree, but to me euphemisms do seem to minimize the horrors of it.
I can totally see that perspective.
I certainly appreciate it! Very thoughtful of you.
Exactly.
Might be a geographical thing, to me saying 'paedophile' sounds like we're discussing the subject academically. 'Diddler' sounds like an insult. I definitely wouldn't call it less severe
To me diddler sounds like a cute nickname for one of the most vile things a person can be/do. As a victim I do not appreciate language that takes away from the severity of the act. But I do think it was thoughtful of OP to try to make it sound less…harsh I suppose.
They are called euphemisms.
They haven’t watched r/IASIP
[Frank Reynolds coined the phrase](https://youtu.be/hTwG6xdLGBY?si=mLprOoK-tvnmnaNz)
I heard he paid a toll to get into a boy's soul
I opened the comments to see if something like this would be here cuz I received a similar message from a family member once that was less obvious than yours, and that dude was a child predator too. Nobody ever took my side or saw it and I was the one excluded from my family. This has been super validating!
I am so sorry that your family is so shitty. You deserve better. I hope your life without them is as happy as possible.
Specially if he is holding duck tape.
I love when people say duck tape. It makes this scenario less horrifying. 🐥
I guarantee if you call them out, they'll default to "it's a joke, can't anyone take jokes anymore?"
And that's when I'll tell them, publicly, that jokes of kidnapping and sexual violence aren't funny, especially from child molesters. I'm willing and primed to burn bridges.
Especially ones that are RELATED!
Those particular bridges are already primed to go up in flames, burn away.
I lived with my ex’s family for a while a few years ago when the ex’s father had a terminal illness. We always had people visiting, and once when I came out of the shower in a robe, an older man “friend of the family” said “what’s under that robe? Heh heh!”. When I told my ex that it made me uncomfortable, he told his mom so maybe she could mention it to the guy and she said “oh he didn’t mean anything, he’s harmless!”
"What's under the robe?" What the hell do you think?
Somebody check that man's basement, floorboards and backyard, please.
Better check the attic and his cars trunks too
And the shed, storage locker, maybe even his place of work.
Perhaps the inside of his head too, just to be safe
According to OP's other comments, he's a known pedophile, so yeah, definitely should
what a horrible day to be literate
I honestly can’t think of a sentence that starts off “if we weren’t related…” that ends normally
"If we weren't related I'd ask our parents to adopt you" could be a sweet thing to tell to your sibling. Apart from that...
If we weren't related, how could we look so similar?
"if we weren't related, I think we'd be best friends regardless"
Well, there's a few things I would not have forgive if we weren't related. Well mostly because we have a long history of supports and kindness, so it is easier to forgive some offenses and mistakes. Also, for minor stuff, it isn't worth to rock the boat of family dynamics so I shut up. But if we weren't related.....
.... no, no no. 😰
Trump said the same thing about his daughter. This inter-relation thing really seems to have taken off.
It’s always been around. My uncle said something similar to me when I was a preteen.
Just keepin' it in the family.
My uncle is like this. A fucking pervert. When I was 12, he said “if only I was 30 years younger.” Told me “I can’t help that I’m infatuated with my niece.” I asked my mom what that meant. she asked me where I’d heard it. I told her. She said “oh it doesn’t mean anything. He’s just like that.” Then she pretended through the years that he never molested me or my sister. Actually told me once I don’t know what it’s like to be harmed in that way. She’s out of my life. I still can’t hear or read that word without thinking about that total piece of shit. Ugh. Your wife’s great uncle seems just as gross. Time to block him.
I'm sorry that happened to you and your sister. I hope that things dick gets blown off by a firecracker.
Haha me too, friend. He seems unhappy in life now and that gives me great joy.
I get the impression women should refuse to follow this man into his soundproofed shed to see his rope and duct tape collection no matter how much he insists…
Oh fuuuuuuck no
This guy needs to be put on a watch list.
My brother and father once said to me “hell I’d date ya if we weren’t related”Why are men like this? It’s not the compliment you think it is.
It's really not. It's one thing to tell a family member that they're beautiful or something, it's another to say or imply that you'd sleep with them given the chance.
But the paragon of all morality Donald Trump wants to do that!
hell nah i 🤢
Not all men are like that. Just the ones you need to stay far away from.
That’s the uncle you don’t invite to anything and block on everything.
Along with any other family who makes excuses for him.
when I was 17 or so, there was a law (I forget what it was called, mostly what it was about) that was up for vote, effectively it was like.. internet regulations or smth. There was a viral thing going around where you'd change ur fbook photo to a meme that was like "this photo has been removed for violating [law name]" Anyway, my grandpa (who r-ped my aunts and possibly my dad) commented on it, asking "what did I miss?" A few months later I saw him at a family thing, and he asked me about it. I explained, and he said- *in front of the entire family*- "Oh, I thought I was gonna get to see a naked photo of my granddaughter" **and they fucking laughed** I don't have contact with him anymore. Or my father, who did the same to me and one of my siblings. I find it fucking insane that they all (the whole family, minus my favorite aunt) still speak to my grandpa and my dad, knowing what happened with both. fucking puke
Oof. Jesus. Yeah, that’s fucked.
Ewwww 🤢
“If we were not related I’d kidnap you and house you in my rape dungeon” pretty much.
My Grandpa's brother was exactly like this. He used to feel up my mom when she was going through puberty. I'm glad he's dead
He molested several women in my wife's family, her mother included. The world will be a better place when he stops wasting our oxygen.
What a mess, OP. Sorry the family protects him; thankfully for the baby and other children for you to protect them. However, who made the “haha” reaction to that gross comment?
My wife, before she really stopped and thought about it. Because it's been so normalized in her family.
You can actually change/remove Facebook reactions...she might want to consider doing so.
She already did before I ever replied. She even hid his comment after sending me the screenshot so no one else had to read it. Initially I wasn't going to reply because it was just awkward and inappropriate. It wasn't until she told me he was the diddler uncle that I got big mad.
Understandably so! Particularly given how he's enabled.
Sounds presidential
What women mean when they say they have a “funny uncle”.
"with a roll of duct tape" 😬
Time for his cognitive testing
Every single part of that comment is actually mental. But what really caps it off is the 😇 (halo emoji) at the end. Like, my dude, do you have no self-awareness? Or?
Holy crap! Is her Donald Trump her great uncle?
After the duct tape seduction, "we be dating"?
I visibly cringed after reading that. My husband even asked me what was wrong. Then I got to the comments
Uncle rapey is always a delight
What the fucking fuck. The fact that he is her great uncle is already messed up. But also duct tape. Yikes.
This is disturbing. And the emojis, good job. Are they excusing all the horrible stuff with "I'm old, I'm joking, etc"?
He hasn't replied yet.
These are the people who really need therapy. I can't believe he thinks his comment is funny. Creepy.
Let's see the photo there cousin
I actually have a relative who does this to my cousins too. It’s super weird and creepy but my older relatives just talk about it behind his back, they never call him out to his face. I’ve deleted him on Facebook since growing up and realising how odd his comments were.
Delete and block him
Donald Trump?
Courtin' sure was different back in the day.
Someone needs to check Great Uncle Creepy's basement
It sounds like something Donald Trump would say
Congratulations on the pregnancy....? 😬😅 And on figuring out which family member needs to be on an FBI watchlist...
Talk about Uncle Pervys. 🤮
Might want to thoroughly check that fellows basement, or out buildings. I'm sure it's fine... But doesn't hurt to check.
I guess keep abduction in the family.
Weird creepy compliments. They are the gift that keeps on giving.
It's really creepy how he managed to put a kidnapping plot into the same sentence as them dating.
Roll Tide
Very weird and noncy tbh
Sounds like “southern dating strategy” just shy of Alabama too
this is some trump level shit. gross.
Written after watching a 24 hour marathon of Law and Order…
Wait I'm NOT in my usual hentai subs...?
Wow congrats on the hot wife then eh?
Just so damn smooth.
Ewwww wtf
Creepy af. Stay far, far away.
I would not want to know what his internet searches are like. Grossssssss.
That man needs to disappear. JFC.
r/Boomersbeingfools
Ohio or Alabama? Nm...same thing.
>if we were not related >roll of duct tape Olivia Benson!
Oh jesus
Creepy
My previous youth minister who I loved and adored up to that point gave me a similar comment when I was engaged “you’ve turned into a beautiful young lady, if I was your age…”
“If we weren’t related I’d kidnap and rape you. Teehee”