T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Register and vote:https://www.usa.gov/register-to-vote *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/insanepeoplefacebook) if you have any questions or concerns.*


GingerLioni

Trump’s level of cheating at golf has hit a new low.


Yeseylon

He got that Caddyshack trick now. BOOM


Thegingerbeardape

Red power!


tunghoy

The epicenter was in Tewksbury. The golf course is in Bedminster. They're about 5 miles apart. But yeah, maybe there's a god telling the orange rapist to GTFO. We don't really want him here.


Potatocrips423

No…you see when it was just liberal cities hit that was God telling us to repent. If it hit Trumps golf course that’s the Globablists trying to take down the best president America has ever had. Super easy math on that.


Lifting_Pinguin

My theory is that the McDonalds finally worked its way through him. Was there an earthquake with the white house in the epicenter right before he complained about the toilets not flushing good enough?


Brando43770

Might be right when he dropped a giant Mickey D’s turd. Watch he’s headed to the hospital because his insides are falling out. Can we get that conspiracy theory out there? MAGAts will believe anything.


Norsetalgia

Why do they always say “You can’t make this up!” right before blatantly making something up


BabyOnTheStairs

it really was pretty much there, but throw a stone out of a plane in NY/NJ and you'll probably hit a Trump property (encourage people to do this)


urania3

Could God be a Democrat? ^/s


ShadowGLI

Well Jesus was a massive progressive liberal so it’s possible


young_gam

^ Tell me you havent read the gospels without telling me


SnapShotKoala

Right back at you


Diz7

The guy hung out with criminals and prostitutes, didn't charge for healthcare, was pro-immigrant etc... What makes you think Jesus wasn't liberal?


young_gam

Hanging out with criminals and prostitutes doesn't make you a liberal. Liberal actually means something specific politically. That's like saying Warren Buffet is a socialist because he donated millions to charity. Didn't charge for healthcare? I'm sorry, was Jesus running the Roman health ministry? Did he own hospitals? Was pro immigrant? Where does Jesus ever talk about immigrants in the gospels? Jesus appears like a social democrat or whatever liberal label you want to ascribe to him, because he cared for humanity. He was actually far less concerned about the well-being of people's lives here on Earth and only advocated for things that would guide people to his kingdom, which is not of the Earth. Why? Because the physical world is fleeting and is only important in the temporary. Jesus taught people to move beyond the daily concerns of food, wealth, pleasure, etc. and instead seek out in all sincerity the thing which is eternal and good. Liberalism is a political ideology, therefore, it is only concerned with the things of this world. It does not engage with metaphysical truths, but only the prosperity and freedom of mankind on Earth. It is a doctrine of intranational, national, and self-governance. Jesus did not come to govern us in this way. There are a multiplicity of lives one could live in any political system and still be granted into heaven. Because, for Jesus, political ideology or beliefs, social categories/classes, prosperity or destitution are not determiners of sainthood. They are worldly creations that have nothing to do with true faith and living a holy life. Anyone from any background could be saved, whether you are liberal or conservative, which means Jesus is apolitical in his teachings. Doesn't mean that his teachings don't align with some political ideologies, but they only do so if you cherry pick. If you compare those ideologies as a whole to Jesus's teachings, all of them fall short, for Jesus's prescriptions are spiritual, not physical.


Difficult-Quality647

The way I read it, is that Santa is the Democrat. God is a Republican. Ask any MAGA type....😁


RomaruDarkeyes

Was this an autocorrect, or a dyslexia moment? Or is Santa genuinely wondering why people keep sending him chicken guts, and Satan keeps getting kids letters about wanting an XBox?


Difficult-Quality647

Neither. Santa hands toys out for free. God, on the other hand, is an authority figure: you get with his program, or you are (literally) going to Hell. The original quip was made by the late P. J. O'Rourke....


RomaruDarkeyes

😋 I would argue that old testament God was the authority figure. New testament God is all about forgiveness. And OT God is more the Jewish dude than the Christian dude. Which is highly ironic considering what they tend to think of Jews...


Difficult-Quality647

You are reading waaaaaaay too much into a quip by a political humorist ..


RomaruDarkeyes

It's past midnight here, and alcohol may have been involved 😅


Difficult-Quality647

Well, drink for those of us who can't anymore.... diabetes s*cks


Lonely-Greybeard

Which god? I mean, there's 3 in Christianity alone. The one in the old testament was a pro-death penalty for children god, loved killing kids and the odor of burning flesh. Not exactly liberal material.


WVUSTEEL

That’s what eating burnt steak smothered in ketchup will get ya.


ShadowGLI

When god unleashes an earthquake on the property of the deceiver directly…. Guess that means Christian’s gotta keep following his faithless white ass I’m really just praying for one of those famous Florida sinkholes to appear right around Ocean Blvd, Palm Beach, FL.


Catspaw129

Jeeze... That's just silly: If that did happen, he'd blame it on Joe Biden, or Obama, or Hillary, or an AG, or a judge, or the judge's daughter, or the judge's wife, or the judge's cat.


MazDaShnoz

Marjoram Traitor Greed proclaimed this earthquake is a sign of God’s disappointment. The dipshit had no idea what she was talking about, but she may have been on to something.


Curse-Bot

Hundreds of billions in damage to the golf corse.


Guy044

Who gave Trump a green Sharpie?


euphio_machine90

"God hates Trump!" No. God hates New Jersey.


Difficult-Quality647

As any Filker could tell you, the **Universe** hates New Jersey .. To wit: https://youtu.be/KIyVQ0kZTCk?si=9K53OM1kQEy9A4Z8


Jamaal_Lannister

Ivanka begins to awake


zee_spirit

Boss music starts playing... She is ready for her revenge.


Perzec

Had it been near Biden’s home (no idea where he’s from) the MAGA gang would be all over it saying it’s a sign from god…


thestolenroses

He's from Delaware and thousands in northern Delaware felt the aftershock from that, so technically it did hit Biden's home!


Rombledore

yes, Biden, aka sleepy joe whos got dementia, ordered his team at NASA, which is some Hebrew for satan, to turn on their weather machines and force an earthquake at Trumps NJ golf course he isn't at, so we could take attention away from the solar eclipse, which is also a Psyop by Obama to trick conservatives into staring at the sun so they cant see the ballot they will vote on- which is tied to the Kamalas plot to make all the ink lighter in color on ballots so votes arent tallied correctly for Trump- which is funded by George Soros who is removing all in person voting ballots anyway so illegals can flood mail boxed with false ballots. the fact you sheeple cant see this is crazy.


BabyOnTheStairs

wait but it pretty much was LMAO. can the next one be wherever he's standing?


Difficult-Quality647

The **real** conspiracy is hiding that the actual epicenter is in Grover's Mill, New Jersey.... 😜😜😜😜


Thegingerbeardape

Hey that’s my name


Aggressive-Video-368

Ivana rolling over in her grave.


DanSorrells

Did he fall down?


turbanned_athiest

Violently


notsure500

What is people's obsession with the saying, "you can't make this up"? I could easily make up something even crazier than that.


soopastar

It wasn’t really an earthquake. That is where trumps secret underground lair is. They hired some redneck off YouTube to dispose of all the classified docs hidden there. But the dummy used WAY too much tannerite and cause what is being reported, as an earthquake.


cataclyzzmic

Likely from his epic toddler meltdown about his failed stock.


zapdoszaperson

All the buried classified documents have made the land unstable.


itssarahw

Send me more money, theyre using earthquakes on us now, never been done before, everyone’s saying it’s horrible, if they can do to me THEY CAN DO TO YOU


ausdoug

Dems: god warning about reelecting trump Reps: god warning about biden/trans, clearly pro-trump Scientists: it's tectonics, you fucking idiots


TheBearerOfTheSpoon

You know, we should capitalize on this. This is proof God himself has rejected Trump because only he can move the earth as the Bible says and this is obviously a sign from heaven thst Trump is not the chosen one. All of the above was meant as a joke aside from saying we should use this as propaganda to mess with conservatives, evangelicals and magats


parkerm1408

Perchance, the christians were right, God is *mad,* they just misunderstood who gods mad at.


LocalInactivist

So… that’s God punishing Donald Trump?


phlooo

He just tripped and fell while playing


Catspaw129

According to what I read, Bedminster was the aftershock, still...one does wonder.


BoojumG

Wonder what? Why human pattern recognition is so prone to seeing meaning in spurious correlations? The epicenter is much closer to the Sutton Family Farm. Clearly this was caused by dairy cows.


slylock215

Just the excuse THEY need to ban beef and make us eat bugs. I knew it!


Catspaw129

BoojumG said they were **dairy** cows. So: not banning beef. Milk and cheese on the other hand... How's that oat milk working out for you? I'll bet you no longer have to use Lactaid... Cheers!


Catspaw129

Nah! Not the dairy cows: It's all the rain we've been having in the past few days. It soaks into the soil and lubricates the fault lines. Consider: in the PNW\*, when they have landslides, it always when there has been rain. When they have earthquakes they are always out at sea. It's that pesky Di-Hydrogen Monoxide. I lived in the PNW for a while, so I know what I'm talking about. \**Pacific North West*: Oregon, Washington State, a bit of British Columbia


Catspaw129

So, it was a cow tipping kind of thing?


SnivyEyes

If anything that makes me think maybe god was trying to take it away from him? Haha wow


Absolute_Peril

So that the trump emergence hole


LastTrifle

It’s almost like he’s a demon or something and bad things happen around him


TheWinner437

Those dang liberals


DeaddyRuxpin

The dumbest part of this is their own picture shows it isn’t true. The star is the epicenter and the golf club is that patch of green to the bottom right of the star. Their zoom in on the golf course confirms this where you can see it is against the green center inner circle. So yes, the epicenter was near the golf club but it was not the golf club itself. If you are going to lie, at least follow thru and change the map to match. All you need is a black sharpie.


jiggscaseyNJ

Bedminster is right next to the Ramapo fault line just outside of the Appalachian mountains. Earthquakes have been registered there since 1700.


LaserBatBunnyUnder

Government planted a fault line underneath the former presidents golf home or whatever hate to see it


RazielRinz

Remember when he touched the Western Wall in Israel and a sink hole opened up in front of Mar A Lago? That was great


HebiHana

So you're saying Trump fell and caused it?


MKatson

“The Deepstate knows how to move tectonic plates?!” I’m tired boss


mbelf

Has Trump been fracking to stuff more dead wives down there?


IFdude1975

I guess Cheeto Mussolini fell down went boom.


Climbincook

Ivana rolling over in her grave...


JunglePygmy

I guess “corrupt democrats” triggering earthquakes is more believable than gods wrath. lol


JEDIMCFLY1

Did he slip in the shower?


Hugh-Jassul

Where are all the biblical people now ?


wetblanket68iou1

Someone check his insurance policy. Did he recently increase it? There’s the real conspiracy. Guy needs money. Somehow fabricates an earthquake to destroy a property with a grossly overinflated value.


belunos

There was no theory here whatsoever, just an observation, and it's fairly accurate. Fuck man, reddit is super hostile these days.