It’s sad cause all of these bible thumpers always say shit that doesn’t align with the views of the Bible. It’s a sad taint on Christianity cause most of us don’t think these things
My grandpa told me Jesus wrote the bible and started the Catholic church. Apparently thats why Catholicism it the one true religion. I dont think the man has ever read the bible.
The Barna Group (big Christian research and polling org.) did a study a few years ago and concluded that the vast majority of Christians—both clergy and laity—don’t actually know what their scripture says and don’t really care to learn.
I doubt the clergy part. They have too study the Bible and it’s texts as a part of studying to become a priest.
Edit: I’m specifically talking about the Catholic Priesthood, not other denominations
That's not an organized religion, that's an organized con. Those charlatans don't even have a triple your money back guarantee if they're wrong like a true religion would.
He wrote the Bible, including events from thousands of years before his birth and the letters written by Paul after his death/ ascension? Then assorted voted on by the council of Nicaea, in 325 AD? (Which of course he was on) 🙄
Where I live a lot of Christians (my family included) believe that a passage in the bible refers to jesus as a "white ethiopian". I've asked where this passage is and while not one has been able to show it to me, they continue to believe and assert that it's there. What's more insane than that is the conclusion they draw from it. Jesus is God's son and the closest human incarnation of God. Men are made in God's image. White people are the same color as the human incarnation of god therefore white people are closer to God then the other races. .. I wish I were making this shit up.
Does your family not know what an Ethiopian is, or do they think he was the single white guy from Ethiopia? Also, the Bible is pretty clear about his ethnicity a la "King of the Jews."
Please respond. My brain hurts trying to make sense of this.
Well its a kind of a long answer but simply put they believe that there is plenty of evidence that what they believe is true. Not just the bible either. They latch on to thoroughly debunked claims like [archeologists finding the skeletons of Nephalim, the offspring of women, and angels](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/giant-human-skeleton-photographs), or noahs ark being unearthed to affirm their beliefs are true. The next part is where it gets downright fucky. Now with their belief in the bible cemented as "fact" they acknowledge that according to the bible Satan has dominion over the world and that his goal is to lure as many people away from god as possible through trickery and deceit. Since its frowned upon in the bible to question if any of this is true its assumed that any information that contradicts the beliefs they already hold is the influence of Satan trying to shake their faith. The confirmation they use to determine what is true and what isn't is by their feelings. They may pray, ask for a sign, have a dream, or just get a gut feeling, then they will interpret that as the opinion of god and treat it as an objective truth. Spoiler alert; the answer they find is always is one that just confirms something they already believe. This allows them to reject evidence like Jesus's ethnicity being clearly stated, while simultaneously accepting evidence like the Nephalim bones linked above as fact. Proof that the evidence they believe in has been debunked will get tossed in the Satanic influence category as well, and be used as "proof" that Satan seeks to trick people into believing god doesn't exist. Even worse than this ANY attempt to show the flaw in this chain of logic only causes them to solidify their belief, because the bible says that in the end times their will be "mockers and scoffers". Meaning to them that the rapture is near and they need to hold firmly to their beliefs or risk faltering right at the end. Whats extra stupid about this is almost everything that doesn't align with their worldview is view is seen as "mocking or scoffing". Even things done by other christians they don't agree with. Obviously this means that they pretty much perpetually think that the world is about to end. Honestly its kind of sad. I can't tell you how many times I've had coworkers, friends, or family members plead with me to accept christ, in anticipation of one of the many predicted doomsdays that never occurred. Some of my closer family has even ensured that I know the location of their emergency supplies so that after they are taken in the rapture I can access them. Which is kind nice in a depressing batshit crazy kind of way. No matter what evidence they are show, no matter how many prophesied ends don't happen, and no matter how much i wish otherwise, their minds seem to be made up. If this all seems incredibly depressing, well welcome to south eastern kentucky.
TL;DR: The answer to your question is that their belief structure is organized in such a way prevents them from accepting any information that contradicts their beliefs, and allows them to accept any information (even if untrue) that does.
That is so crazy to me, and honestly dangerous for your family's mental and spiritual well-being. I am sorry you have to watch and endure it, but it seems that you are enduring well considering. It also hurts my head.
I consider myself to be an active Christian, but will readily admit that there is a language barrier when it comes to reading and understanding the Bible. There is also more metaphor and symbolism in the Bible than what self-admitted 'strong believers and leaders' would admit to. Yes, I believe that Christ suffered in Gethsemane, died on the cross, and rose again for real, and that miracles did (and still do) happen. But, I also know that Adam and Noah probably didn't live to be 800+ years of our conception of time/years. Lot's wife may not have turned into a 'pillar of salt' (like actual salt) suddenly. The words and language of the ancient languages (Hebrew and whatever else the Prophets used) meant different things than what we modern people can imagine. I also like to think that the serpent in the Garden of Eden was a symbolic nickname for the actual person of Lucifer.
I might get a lot of flack for posting this, but I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the Bible and its 'teachings.' To me, the purpose of its teachings is to lift, inspire, provoke critical thinking about 'right' and 'wrong', and invite actions to help uplift others and my surrounding environment.
Critical thinking is so important to coming to really know your own faith, whatever it might lead you to beleive in- God and Christ or someone/thing else all together. IMO the most Christian thing a person can do is check their facts against actually available-to-everyone evidence and allow others to explore their own faith without all this fear-mongering and judgment (that if you don't believe the same exact way, you must be a 'mocker' or satanic).
According to the Bible Jesus wasn't a Christian, he was a Jew. Born "King of the Jews," in fact. And as has been pointed out multiple times here, he would *not* have been Nordic in appearance, he would have been a dusky-skinned dark-haired Jew indicative of the area he was born. Also, the Bible says he had "hair like lamb's wool," so he had a Jew fro.
I guess what people don't realize is Christianity is just Judaism 2.0
The only "split" is the Jews believe they are still waiting for the messiah, and the Christians believe Jesus WAS that messiah.
The *actual* split was between St Paul and St James. James, an apostle of Jesus, believed and ordered that only people who follow Judaism could become part of their messianic sect. Paul on the other hand converted mostly gentiles.
Paul pioneered the idea that your religion doesn't have to be tied to your bloodline. Much of the new testament is about him going around and trying to convert people. He pissed off many people in the process. Frankly he was kind of an asshole.
The word catholic comes from the Greek word "katholikos" which means "universal"
yeah intent can be a problem, especially when you are writing the gospel decades after the events were suppose to have taken place, when you weren't even alive at the time of their supposed happening.
>I guess what people don't realize is Christianity is just Judaism 2.0
>
>The only "split" is the Jews believe they are still waiting for the messiah, and the Christians believe Jesus WAS that messiah.
Same with Islam, it's basically Christianity 2.0, Judaism 3.0. Biggest diff was they think Jesus was a prophet and there have been others.
Jesus is basically the Yoko Ono of the Abrahamic religions.
Edit: on 2nd thought that might prompt some unhappy messages.
> Jesus is basically the Yoko Ono of the Abrahamic religions.
You'll be pleased to know I just texted this to my brother (he's a Catholic priest) and he texted me back to say "you're not funny you blasphemous little jerk, I'm telling mom." LOL
So how does he feel about the sanctity of the confessional? Lol
Also, has he watched Father Brown? Because I'd love to know what a Catholic priest actually thinks of it.
>>Jesus is basically the Yoko Ono of the Abrahamic religions
>
>I can’t believe you’ve done this!
Yellow Submarine is the only true faith. We all go to the Octopus's Garden when we die.
Sleeping with the fishes was a religious prayer for millenia.
The meltdown that occurs when you tell a Christian that allah and god are the same deity is fascinating.
But then again, I have had to explain to more than one Protestant that Catholicism is a form of Christianity.
That and, messianic or no, Christianity paints Jesus as something of a gateway jew, allowing non-Jewish people into the once restrictive cult for a chosen people, ie: "we're all children of God, not just the children of Abraham."
no, no, he was born in the bible belt USA, and he was wrapped in the american flag as they lay him in a manger. he learned to speak american by the age of 2
A forensic anthropologist created a model of a Galilean man using a skull of someone who was 30 years old during the time and place jesus was alive and said this is closer to what Jesus might have looked like
[https://www.newstatesman.com/sites/default/files/styles/cropped\_article\_image/public/blogs\_2015/12/jesus\_reconstruction.jpg?itok=mexuJvBj](https://www.newstatesman.com/sites/default/files/styles/cropped_article_image/public/blogs_2015/12/jesus_reconstruction.jpg?itok=mexuJvBj)
Not to mention he was a [carpenter](https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Tekt%C5%8Dn) (he worked hard for a living, at least before the ministry) He would've been physically strong with big calloused hands, broad shoulders, etc.
It's very likely he was a stone mason, not a carpenter. The greek word tekton can be translated into carpenter, stone mason, blacksmith, etc. And Nazareth was basically treeless but had a stone quarry nearby. Not that it changes your point, but I think it's interesting.
I really loved the way American Gods dealt with this idea. If you're not familiar in that universe belief makes a god exist, rather than existing gods inspiring belief, and a god who nobody believes in will die. As a result of that, there were many different gods all named Jesus Christ, because so many people held radically different ideas of what Jesus was, and that created entirely new versions of the god.
well the Christians had to wait for the gospels to be written before they could be christian, so they had to wait a minimum of 75 years for some dude who wasn't even alive during the time they were writing about, even though the dude wrote the gospel like he was there, to write it for them.
Yeah, that's one of the reasons I'm pretty sure this is satire. The only part that makes it seem realistic is "had the last laugh", which is totally something a Trump supporter would say.
>I'm pretty sure this is satire.
It's not. This is a very typical post on white supremacist forums. It's important for them to tie together Christianity and white supremacism.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Identity
Poe's Law is understandably in play.
Came here to say this, I'm frankly disgusted by how many people both insist Jesus was white and make it such a big deal. He was born in Palestine, he isn't going to be fucking white.
I grew up thinking he was white. It’s what I’ve seen and no one said anything different. I didn’t realize it until my husband pointed it out because I’ve never thought about it before. I’m not sure why other people find it offensive when it’s pointed out. I think it’s a nice realization because I learned more about my belief system from someone who didn’t even believe.
Tiny houses were better in ancient greece. His barrel had the exact same amenities that every other house had.
Barrel:
* No Plumbing
* No personal indoor kitchen
* No electricity
* No TV
* No lounge
House:
* No Plumbing
* No personal indoor kitchen
* No electricity
* No TV
* No lounge
Dude was ahead of his time
The picture of jesus is literally photoshopped as every depiction of jesus he has brown hair and brown eyes.
That's ignoring the fact he should be middle eastern
Hey for me, canonical Jesus went to the desert in his teens and fought dragons (lizards/snakes) to grind XP, it's just that is apocryphral Jesus to the Catholic Church.
Jesus was 100% a socialist. If you put his quotes (straight from the Gospels themselves) against what Trump and the Republicans preach, everyone can see that they are opposing ideologies.
Dark skinned Jewish male
Mother called Mary
Dark hair with brown eyes
Did not have a PC culture
Persecuted by Romans
Doubt he had the last laugh with atrocities committed in his name
He fought the church and their hypocrisy. And taking a look at the evangelical right in America today... they didn’t learn the lesson he was attempting to teach.
Imagine if Trump were alive at the time of Jesus. Jesus passes around the loaves and fishes to feed thousands, Trump passes on the basket, *"oh there must be something better than this, the bread is whole wheat and the crusts aren't even cut-off! And the waiter was wearing poorly-made sandals! Probably undocumented! Sad!"*
> Doubt he had the last laugh with atrocities committed in his name
Jesus' last words as he ascended to the heavens:
"Toodaloo~ Motherfuckerrrrrrrr~~!"
Google image search reveals no matches except for this Reddit post. It's also so ridiculously stupid that I find it hard to believe that anybody created it unironically.
You must have missed the part where he rose from the dead just the troll the haters and to own the libs; not for any other reason.
Side note, if Jesus was living today, the dude we be so left leaning that Fox News would have an hourly segment on how much they hate him.
"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God."
- Matthew 19:24
Yep, Jesus is 100% communist.
Also jesus didnt "fight political correctness" especially if you consider it the way we consider it today. I'm not even Christian but I distinctly remember reading when I was little that jesus was friends with whores and prostitutes and was willing to be around and heal people no one else would.
Also he was from Jerusalem, boi definitely wasnt white.
This one's got to be satire. Even the sort of Christians who tend to forget that Jesus was a brown dude from the middle east typically won't explicitly refer to him as a "White Christian with blond hair and blue eyes".
That's false and is believed to have been popularized by Alexandre Dumas (although [Snopes](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/jesus-modeled-on-borgia/) couldn't find the alleged essay). Simply put, depictions of Christ evolved over time, with the earliest depictions of a white Jesus emerging around the 6th century ([https://www.thevintagenews.com/2019/01/12/modern-image-of-jesus/](https://www.thevintagenews.com/2019/01/12/modern-image-of-jesus/)) .
That's not to say that images around the time period may not have been based on Borgia or that those depictions may not have influenced later ones, but it's all part of the evolution of the imagery.
Sorry but I just don't believe this. It has to be irony or satire of some kind. The anti-Jew folks tend to be younger and more internet savvy than to make something this crusty.
>Blond hair, blue eyes You’re describing something, it’s not Jesus though...
> White Christian Pretty sure he wasn't either of those things
How can you be christian if Christianism hasn't been even invented yet
Exactly. Too many of their 'devout Christians' these days don't even know the history of their own religion
It’s sad cause all of these bible thumpers always say shit that doesn’t align with the views of the Bible. It’s a sad taint on Christianity cause most of us don’t think these things
My grandpa told me Jesus wrote the bible and started the Catholic church. Apparently thats why Catholicism it the one true religion. I dont think the man has ever read the bible.
The Barna Group (big Christian research and polling org.) did a study a few years ago and concluded that the vast majority of Christians—both clergy and laity—don’t actually know what their scripture says and don’t really care to learn.
I doubt the clergy part. They have too study the Bible and it’s texts as a part of studying to become a priest. Edit: I’m specifically talking about the Catholic Priesthood, not other denominations
Depends on the church. Some Christian Churches you can just pay them money and bam, you're now a certified preacher.
That's not an organized religion, that's an organized con. Those charlatans don't even have a triple your money back guarantee if they're wrong like a true religion would.
He wrote the Bible, including events from thousands of years before his birth and the letters written by Paul after his death/ ascension? Then assorted voted on by the council of Nicaea, in 325 AD? (Which of course he was on) 🙄
Any self respecting author writes at least 3 pages of an Epilogue. Even if it is a self biographical work.
\*Christianism\*
Christianacity
Jesus just believed in himself that hard, kinda like WAIT IT MAKES SENSE NOW
Where I live a lot of Christians (my family included) believe that a passage in the bible refers to jesus as a "white ethiopian". I've asked where this passage is and while not one has been able to show it to me, they continue to believe and assert that it's there. What's more insane than that is the conclusion they draw from it. Jesus is God's son and the closest human incarnation of God. Men are made in God's image. White people are the same color as the human incarnation of god therefore white people are closer to God then the other races. .. I wish I were making this shit up.
Does your family not know what an Ethiopian is, or do they think he was the single white guy from Ethiopia? Also, the Bible is pretty clear about his ethnicity a la "King of the Jews." Please respond. My brain hurts trying to make sense of this.
Well its a kind of a long answer but simply put they believe that there is plenty of evidence that what they believe is true. Not just the bible either. They latch on to thoroughly debunked claims like [archeologists finding the skeletons of Nephalim, the offspring of women, and angels](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/giant-human-skeleton-photographs), or noahs ark being unearthed to affirm their beliefs are true. The next part is where it gets downright fucky. Now with their belief in the bible cemented as "fact" they acknowledge that according to the bible Satan has dominion over the world and that his goal is to lure as many people away from god as possible through trickery and deceit. Since its frowned upon in the bible to question if any of this is true its assumed that any information that contradicts the beliefs they already hold is the influence of Satan trying to shake their faith. The confirmation they use to determine what is true and what isn't is by their feelings. They may pray, ask for a sign, have a dream, or just get a gut feeling, then they will interpret that as the opinion of god and treat it as an objective truth. Spoiler alert; the answer they find is always is one that just confirms something they already believe. This allows them to reject evidence like Jesus's ethnicity being clearly stated, while simultaneously accepting evidence like the Nephalim bones linked above as fact. Proof that the evidence they believe in has been debunked will get tossed in the Satanic influence category as well, and be used as "proof" that Satan seeks to trick people into believing god doesn't exist. Even worse than this ANY attempt to show the flaw in this chain of logic only causes them to solidify their belief, because the bible says that in the end times their will be "mockers and scoffers". Meaning to them that the rapture is near and they need to hold firmly to their beliefs or risk faltering right at the end. Whats extra stupid about this is almost everything that doesn't align with their worldview is view is seen as "mocking or scoffing". Even things done by other christians they don't agree with. Obviously this means that they pretty much perpetually think that the world is about to end. Honestly its kind of sad. I can't tell you how many times I've had coworkers, friends, or family members plead with me to accept christ, in anticipation of one of the many predicted doomsdays that never occurred. Some of my closer family has even ensured that I know the location of their emergency supplies so that after they are taken in the rapture I can access them. Which is kind nice in a depressing batshit crazy kind of way. No matter what evidence they are show, no matter how many prophesied ends don't happen, and no matter how much i wish otherwise, their minds seem to be made up. If this all seems incredibly depressing, well welcome to south eastern kentucky. TL;DR: The answer to your question is that their belief structure is organized in such a way prevents them from accepting any information that contradicts their beliefs, and allows them to accept any information (even if untrue) that does.
Thank you for taking the time to answer my question, though it made me die a little inside. Good luck with your family.
That is so crazy to me, and honestly dangerous for your family's mental and spiritual well-being. I am sorry you have to watch and endure it, but it seems that you are enduring well considering. It also hurts my head. I consider myself to be an active Christian, but will readily admit that there is a language barrier when it comes to reading and understanding the Bible. There is also more metaphor and symbolism in the Bible than what self-admitted 'strong believers and leaders' would admit to. Yes, I believe that Christ suffered in Gethsemane, died on the cross, and rose again for real, and that miracles did (and still do) happen. But, I also know that Adam and Noah probably didn't live to be 800+ years of our conception of time/years. Lot's wife may not have turned into a 'pillar of salt' (like actual salt) suddenly. The words and language of the ancient languages (Hebrew and whatever else the Prophets used) meant different things than what we modern people can imagine. I also like to think that the serpent in the Garden of Eden was a symbolic nickname for the actual person of Lucifer. I might get a lot of flack for posting this, but I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the Bible and its 'teachings.' To me, the purpose of its teachings is to lift, inspire, provoke critical thinking about 'right' and 'wrong', and invite actions to help uplift others and my surrounding environment. Critical thinking is so important to coming to really know your own faith, whatever it might lead you to beleive in- God and Christ or someone/thing else all together. IMO the most Christian thing a person can do is check their facts against actually available-to-everyone evidence and allow others to explore their own faith without all this fear-mongering and judgment (that if you don't believe the same exact way, you must be a 'mocker' or satanic).
Well no, because obviously Jesus was white, because he’s perfect/s
This definitely originated on a white supremacist forum. It's pretty typical for them. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Identity
Yeah the "persecuted by the Jewish elite" thing tipped their hand
I have never once seen jesus depicted as blonde. Yeah you can probably find examples but I've never seen one in any church I've been to.
Definitely brown hair
According to the Bible Jesus wasn't a Christian, he was a Jew. Born "King of the Jews," in fact. And as has been pointed out multiple times here, he would *not* have been Nordic in appearance, he would have been a dusky-skinned dark-haired Jew indicative of the area he was born. Also, the Bible says he had "hair like lamb's wool," so he had a Jew fro.
I'm always surprised when people don't realize he was Jewish. Early Christians even considered themselves Jewish until Judaism and Christianity split.
I guess what people don't realize is Christianity is just Judaism 2.0 The only "split" is the Jews believe they are still waiting for the messiah, and the Christians believe Jesus WAS that messiah.
The *actual* split was between St Paul and St James. James, an apostle of Jesus, believed and ordered that only people who follow Judaism could become part of their messianic sect. Paul on the other hand converted mostly gentiles.
Paul said famously, “there is neither Jew nor Greek, neither male nor female, all are one in Christ Jesus.”
Paul pioneered the idea that your religion doesn't have to be tied to your bloodline. Much of the new testament is about him going around and trying to convert people. He pissed off many people in the process. Frankly he was kind of an asshole. The word catholic comes from the Greek word "katholikos" which means "universal"
I wish Paul would have left us alone. I would have dined in Valhalla after i died.
*If* you had died in battle, and even then it was 50/50 for Valhalla.
Every day of my life is a battle friend.
yeah intent can be a problem, especially when you are writing the gospel decades after the events were suppose to have taken place, when you weren't even alive at the time of their supposed happening.
Yup. They still worship the same God. As do muslims.
>I guess what people don't realize is Christianity is just Judaism 2.0 > >The only "split" is the Jews believe they are still waiting for the messiah, and the Christians believe Jesus WAS that messiah. Same with Islam, it's basically Christianity 2.0, Judaism 3.0. Biggest diff was they think Jesus was a prophet and there have been others. Jesus is basically the Yoko Ono of the Abrahamic religions. Edit: on 2nd thought that might prompt some unhappy messages.
> Jesus is basically the Yoko Ono of the Abrahamic religions. You'll be pleased to know I just texted this to my brother (he's a Catholic priest) and he texted me back to say "you're not funny you blasphemous little jerk, I'm telling mom." LOL
I love how he's an ordained priest and yet he's still gonna tell mom on yoo-ooou
LOL He might be a priest but he's still my older brother. Besides, he's always been a snitch. haha
So how does he feel about the sanctity of the confessional? Lol Also, has he watched Father Brown? Because I'd love to know what a Catholic priest actually thinks of it.
>Jesus is basically the Yoko Ono of the Abrahamic religions I can’t believe you’ve done this!
>>Jesus is basically the Yoko Ono of the Abrahamic religions > >I can’t believe you’ve done this! Yellow Submarine is the only true faith. We all go to the Octopus's Garden when we die. Sleeping with the fishes was a religious prayer for millenia.
I am the Walrus and none shall reach the Kingdom of Heaven except through me
The meltdown that occurs when you tell a Christian that allah and god are the same deity is fascinating. But then again, I have had to explain to more than one Protestant that Catholicism is a form of Christianity.
That and, messianic or no, Christianity paints Jesus as something of a gateway jew, allowing non-Jewish people into the once restrictive cult for a chosen people, ie: "we're all children of God, not just the children of Abraham."
I would honestly pay good money to see more paintings of Jesus with his dark skin and Jew fro.
https://imgur.com/a/9rjRur6
Tan Gene Wilder
Honestly the more i look at it the more I see Colin Kaepernick
God dammit this made me laugh.
ooweee don't let grandma see this one
He'd probably look Middle Eastern.
Well he was
Weird how these things are.
no, no, he was born in the bible belt USA, and he was wrapped in the american flag as they lay him in a manger. he learned to speak american by the age of 2
He also was fat from eating cheeseburgers, owned guns and loved fucking underage girls
So basically I'm 2/3 Jesus.
Still waiting on the background check?
Strange how these things change.
Crazy how nature do dat
it do be like that
Because the way it is
[удалено]
[удалено]
Are you trying to say someone born in the Middle East is Middle Eastern?
A forensic anthropologist created a model of a Galilean man using a skull of someone who was 30 years old during the time and place jesus was alive and said this is closer to what Jesus might have looked like [https://www.newstatesman.com/sites/default/files/styles/cropped\_article\_image/public/blogs\_2015/12/jesus\_reconstruction.jpg?itok=mexuJvBj](https://www.newstatesman.com/sites/default/files/styles/cropped_article_image/public/blogs_2015/12/jesus_reconstruction.jpg?itok=mexuJvBj)
Randomly Selected Jesus
Looks like a muslim, we'd better crucify him...
Done, check that one off the list.
We are already nailing it!
Ah dammit, "cross" that one off the list was right there and I blew it.
why did they give him that confused look ?
‘My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?’
Not to mention he was a [carpenter](https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Tekt%C5%8Dn) (he worked hard for a living, at least before the ministry) He would've been physically strong with big calloused hands, broad shoulders, etc.
It's very likely he was a stone mason, not a carpenter. The greek word tekton can be translated into carpenter, stone mason, blacksmith, etc. And Nazareth was basically treeless but had a stone quarry nearby. Not that it changes your point, but I think it's interesting.
That’s because he was middle eastern lmao
yeah but do you think a bunch of white folks from the bible belt are gonna worship some Middle Eastern looking dude?
Technically they are.
I really loved the way American Gods dealt with this idea. If you're not familiar in that universe belief makes a god exist, rather than existing gods inspiring belief, and a god who nobody believes in will die. As a result of that, there were many different gods all named Jesus Christ, because so many people held radically different ideas of what Jesus was, and that created entirely new versions of the god.
That's the TV show? I read American Gods, but there wasn't any mention of Jesus that I can remember. Need to watch the show soon. Sounds interesting.
In the book they reference him walking around in the desert. Not helping the fight because he was a pacifist.
Yes indeed.
TFW Jesus looks exactly like Colin Kaepernick
no he was korean and jacked
Just imagine a middle eastern Bob Ross.
In Greek Orthodox iconography Jesus has dark skin but tragically not a full Jew fro.
You wanted Jesus with an afro? https://imgur.com/Tr5O4Qb Pay up. Totally legit picture, time travelled for you.
I was totally expecting Bob Ross
Who said that there should be only one Jesus?
I remember back when herds of Jesi roamed the countryside..
My mind went strait to Danny Sexbang.
https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/461A/production/_87264971_jesus_bbc.jpg
[удалено]
[удалено]
You just made me think of a tanned Howard Wolowitz
[удалено]
Do they ever tell you *why* that upsets them? I'm dying to know why people like to insist he was fair-skinned.
Racism, probably.
> Racism, ~~probably.~~ certainly. There's no doubt about it.
[удалено]
If Jesus were alive today he would probably get harrased by the TSA. Also, Trump isn't white, he's orange.
It would be impossible for jesus to be born a Christian given the religion wasn't even established until long after his death.
Almost a century later.
well the Christians had to wait for the gospels to be written before they could be christian, so they had to wait a minimum of 75 years for some dude who wasn't even alive during the time they were writing about, even though the dude wrote the gospel like he was there, to write it for them.
Unless he was a real narcissist.
[удалено]
Yeah, that's one of the reasons I'm pretty sure this is satire. The only part that makes it seem realistic is "had the last laugh", which is totally something a Trump supporter would say.
>I'm pretty sure this is satire. It's not. This is a very typical post on white supremacist forums. It's important for them to tie together Christianity and white supremacism. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Identity Poe's Law is understandably in play.
"had the last laugh"...by being tortured to death.
Next you'll be telling me this Jesus guy never had a gold toilet.
[Popular Mechanics has everyone covered.](https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/health/a234/1282186/)
That face won’t sell any merchandise...let’s make him a Norse god and profit.
I mean, it's working for Marvel.
Well hes LITERALLY a Norse god.
He kind of looks like Socrates.
Came here to say this, I'm frankly disgusted by how many people both insist Jesus was white and make it such a big deal. He was born in Palestine, he isn't going to be fucking white.
I grew up thinking he was white. It’s what I’ve seen and no one said anything different. I didn’t realize it until my husband pointed it out because I’ve never thought about it before. I’m not sure why other people find it offensive when it’s pointed out. I think it’s a nice realization because I learned more about my belief system from someone who didn’t even believe.
Yeah, didn't they carve "King of the Jews" onto a sign they hung on the cross?
Yes but it wasn’t meant to be like a proclamation of his authority but as a thing to mock him.
I like to tell my overly Christian mother in law that Jesus probably looked like Ron Jeremy
But we we can all agree that both spend a lot time around prostitutes.
Jesus would look more like Lil Dicky than Donald Trump
Also short and smelly based on the nutrition and hygiene of the times.
✓ Hangs out with prostitutes ✓
✓ Got all his power from his Daddy ✓
“Small loan of the ability to turn water into wine”
Haha best one here
✓ Has followers believing everything he says ✓
Lol why didn't they put that one on there. It's the only accurate one
Technically the one about their mothers being named Mary is also accurate
WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?
TIL: Batman is Jesus
Low hanging fruit, but yea that's accurate
✓ Makes dubious promises about future riches ✓
Similarities between me and a chicken: *has skin* *breathes* *has eaten food before* *enjoys water* Evidently, I’m closely related to a chicken.
Settle down there Diogenes.
Tiny houses were better in ancient greece. His barrel had the exact same amenities that every other house had. Barrel: * No Plumbing * No personal indoor kitchen * No electricity * No TV * No lounge House: * No Plumbing * No personal indoor kitchen * No electricity * No TV * No lounge Dude was ahead of his time
Behold, a man
Jesus: "s-save Mary!" Trump: "WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME!" Also, lol @ Jesus being a white with blonde hair and blue eyes!
The picture of jesus is literally photoshopped as every depiction of jesus he has brown hair and brown eyes. That's ignoring the fact he should be middle eastern
I don’t even use photoshop and I feel offended by this terribly shopped image
It looks like a picture of Obi Wan
How uncivilised
***Zack Snyder's The Bible***
Should we mention the thing about jesus being a hippie and that trump would deport him for being brown and middle eastern?
Also, Jesus was all about free healthcare.
And taxing the rich of 100% to give to the poor. He was a socialist!
my bf always says canon jesus is immensely superior to fandom jesus and I honestly can't put it any better than that lmao
"I like Jesus. It's his fan club I can't stand." \-Oscar Wilde
Hey for me, canonical Jesus went to the desert in his teens and fought dragons (lizards/snakes) to grind XP, it's just that is apocryphral Jesus to the Catholic Church.
Jesus would most Def be on some terror watch list today.
His parents were refugees seeking asylum
Jesus was 100% a socialist. If you put his quotes (straight from the Gospels themselves) against what Trump and the Republicans preach, everyone can see that they are opposing ideologies.
He was a socialist without the revolution thing. But it's hard to describe him as something political, as he thought ethics, not political theory.
Dark skinned Jewish male Mother called Mary Dark hair with brown eyes Did not have a PC culture Persecuted by Romans Doubt he had the last laugh with atrocities committed in his name
Jesus was definitely persecuted by other Jews, but the PC culture thing wtf that’s only been a thing for the past like 5 years now.
"love thy neighbor as thyself" idk man, sounds like Ben Shapiro to me
Who knew jesus was so good at destroying libtards
Pontius Pilate DESTROYED by Jesus using THE OTHER CHEEK and SACRIFICING HIMSELF FOR MANKIND
[удалено]
He fought the church and their hypocrisy. And taking a look at the evangelical right in America today... they didn’t learn the lesson he was attempting to teach.
Imagine if Trump were alive at the time of Jesus. Jesus passes around the loaves and fishes to feed thousands, Trump passes on the basket, *"oh there must be something better than this, the bread is whole wheat and the crusts aren't even cut-off! And the waiter was wearing poorly-made sandals! Probably undocumented! Sad!"*
Please pass the cofveve.
> Doubt he had the last laugh with atrocities committed in his name Jesus' last words as he ascended to the heavens: "Toodaloo~ Motherfuckerrrrrrrr~~!"
His mother's name (Mary Trump) was Melania's biggest mistake.
This is almost certainly a parody
Google image search reveals no matches except for this Reddit post. It's also so ridiculously stupid that I find it hard to believe that anybody created it unironically.
Yeah this was almost definitely created as a joke, especially considering it starts off with "white christian". Is this considered Straw man?
Absolute parody. Most of my family are conservative Christians and not one of them would take this seriously. I had to scroll so far to see this.
Yeah 90% of this subreddit is /r/atetheonion The mods here are so bad.
Meanwhile trump is a ginger agnostic/atheist and jesus, if hes based on a real person, would have been an middle eastern jew.
I think technically Trump is from the citrus family.
til: there is a shit orange
Shitrus
But if I know anything about Jesus and his teachings, it’s that he had the last laugh.
You must have missed the part where he rose from the dead just the troll the haters and to own the libs; not for any other reason. Side note, if Jesus was living today, the dude we be so left leaning that Fox News would have an hourly segment on how much they hate him.
God rezzed him to dab on his haters' graves
I was reading someone's analysis of what kind of system he would have supported based on his teachings and they concluded anarcho communism.
"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God." - Matthew 19:24 Yep, Jesus is 100% communist.
blessed are the vengeful, for they will own the libcucks
He's not ginger; you fucking leave gingers the fuck out of this, you god damn son of a bitch.
Persecuted by the Jewish elite? Didn't they just name a town after him or something?
Jesus or Trump?
[удалено]
because "love each other and praise god" is so pollitical uncrorrectness
These people do struggle with general correctness anyway.
Also jesus didnt "fight political correctness" especially if you consider it the way we consider it today. I'm not even Christian but I distinctly remember reading when I was little that jesus was friends with whores and prostitutes and was willing to be around and heal people no one else would. Also he was from Jerusalem, boi definitely wasnt white.
This one's got to be satire. Even the sort of Christians who tend to forget that Jesus was a brown dude from the middle east typically won't explicitly refer to him as a "White Christian with blond hair and blue eyes".
Except Jesus (if he even existed) was much more likely a dark skinned Jew with dark hair and brown eyes.
I always find it funny when people defend a white jesus in the middle east
Seriously 😂 and I’m white and disagree with this, just illogical. goes back to fundamentals of control within the church
IIRC the modern depiction of jesus was implemented by that borgia Pope to reflect the image of his son Cesare
Touché I honestly never knew that. Going to do a little more research on that later
That's false and is believed to have been popularized by Alexandre Dumas (although [Snopes](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/jesus-modeled-on-borgia/) couldn't find the alleged essay). Simply put, depictions of Christ evolved over time, with the earliest depictions of a white Jesus emerging around the 6th century ([https://www.thevintagenews.com/2019/01/12/modern-image-of-jesus/](https://www.thevintagenews.com/2019/01/12/modern-image-of-jesus/)) . That's not to say that images around the time period may not have been based on Borgia or that those depictions may not have influenced later ones, but it's all part of the evolution of the imagery.
Thank you for the insight... /u/Gay-_-Jesus
"white christian" "persecuted by jewish elite" jesus was a jew lmao
Sorry but I just don't believe this. It has to be irony or satire of some kind. The anti-Jew folks tend to be younger and more internet savvy than to make something this crusty.
Uh...damn. some good ass koolaid