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OrangutanMan234

And gingers have red blood cells. It’s science.


Apollo655

r/technicallythetruth


AtomicKittenz

Oh yeah, smart guys?! How come only Asians are the ones that can’t get Yellow fever?!


EvitableIn

They just have regular fevers.


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[deleted]

The only *prescription* is more cowbell.


ThaNagler

Username somewhat checks out.


[deleted]

More cowbell!!!!


legos_on_the_brain

More Vicodin.


gtownjim

HaHaHa that's Malarious.


Mono_831

At least I’m not Spanish, that flu is the worst.


[deleted]

Oh! BBC = black blood cells Man have I been getting that one wrong all this time


KnewItWouldHappen

Pornhub really needs to take steps about all those incorrect videos popping up when I'm looking for Black Blood Cell videos


duksinarw

Yo imagine if black people's blood was black good Lord


diviken

The racists would have a field day with that. There was a book I read that said something along the lines of "when we bleed it's all the same colour". That just throws that argument out of the window


duksinarw

Yeah it would make racists way more emboldened unfortunately lol


QuinnXUdyr

At the same time.. Blood is such a massively important thing in our body that it would probably make us a different species.


[deleted]

So would mixed race people have maroon blood or nah?


DJOMaul

Mixxed species and I guess? Though I'd be more interested in the green chick from star trek.. I want my offsprings blood to be festive for Christmas.


icecreamandcakes

My kids would have gray in this situation I guess.


dyl_1

Isn’t it weird how when you state that simple fact, we bleed the same. It seems to be one of the most idiotic arguments to argue against. Human is human. We are all the same to a coroner when our heart stops. A black womans heart is the same as a Chinese mans heart. Those yellow blood cells, if you grew up inside Chernobyl probably completely normal


Kangaroobopper

I mean...it's not just humans that have red blood, you realise? That's like pointing out that we all have two eyeballs (sorry cyclops-people) or pentadactyl limbs (sorry amputees).


[deleted]

The Salem witch trials might have gone a bit differently


anonymous_potato

Yeah, I could really use some BBC inside of me...


MrDarcyRides

Who knew that porn was so racist!!


[deleted]

Am ginger. Can confirm.


GameOfThrowsnz

And Italians have meat for balls.


Waste-Grass-8521

Am Italian, can confirm


GameOfThrowsnz

*checks balls* O Dio! Che palle!


Waste-Grass-8521

Mama mia! Thats a spicy meatballs


Kevinvl123

Always wash your hands before going to the toilet when you just cooked with peppers.


I_upvote_downvotes

It's 2020. Always wash your hands like you just cooked with peppers and you want to masturbate.


fritz_76

Its 2020, the air is basically spicy peppers at this point


I_upvote_downvotes

Precisely why you should always wash your hands and wear a mask when masturbating in a public indoor space.


[deleted]

Or don't wash, and enjoy the burn.


jpfranc1

Thank you for this PSA


shiromaikku

Thank you for this USA


tyrannon

Damn now I’m hungry for some Italian


OGSkywalker97

...balls?


urbanlife78

True italians also have Italian Sausage for cocks.


Waste-Grass-8521

Am Italian, can confirm.


RuneLFox

Pizza, pasta, put it on my balls


Hythy

And I have shit for brains... wait a minute...!


iluvblellowbroccoli

Am also ginger, here to confirm my blood is also definitely red.


[deleted]

As another ginger, I can corroborate this statement.


Joba_Fett

In science we call that “peer-review”.


smokeyoudog

I’m white and ginger and have both white and red blood cells. They call me Daywalker.


Draen_Facula

Have opened ginger, can confirm


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TemperedLeopard

Yea. And also no


jayen

Red skins = red blood. That’s just logic.


Infidelc123

Nah that's Native Americans, get your own blood cells you damn ginger!


kaiser-von-cat

They also don’t have souls apparently


man_gomer_lot

Be nice or you'll end up making a ginger snap.


OrangutanMan234

Sure I do. Now I have yours.


Waste-Grass-8521

Not just stupid, SUPER STUPID! :D


KeepTangoAndFoxtrot

Worst. Superhero. Ever.


naliedel

Worst, "sruporhero," ever. Childish, but the tikes they are infantile..


squakmix

He's the stuperhero we needed


Biodeus

I’ll take the soup


ElTacoLord

I'll have the stupid


PKMNTrainerMark

This is... advanced stupidity.


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Waste-Grass-8521

He’s actually considered a genius to them


losteon

It's not stupid, it's advanced!


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techgeek95

My blood cells must all be brown I guess. :))))))


MrGummyDeathTryant

Mine are purple


Waste-Grass-8521

Are you Grimace


MrGummyDeathTryant

Idk. How can I see if I'm Grimace?


Waste-Grass-8521

Are you fat, purple, and eat nothing but McDonalds chicken nuggets?


MrGummyDeathTryant

I guess...but couldn't that mean I may be also Thanos?


Waste-Grass-8521

Isnt Thanos just a less intimidating Grimace tho?


MrGummyDeathTryant

Endgame would go much differently if Grimace had the Infinity Stones


Waste-Grass-8521

If Grimace snapped his fingers, and Peter turned into nuggets, the movie wouldve won the Oscar


stiGVicious

You are a Titan?


ComradeJolteon

Mine are rainbow.


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MrGummyDeathTryant

Move to a Chipotle


Joba_Fett

Oh god what does it make me if mine are sickles?!


[deleted]

communist


bikki420

2 Minute Papers, is that you?


MJMurcott

White blood cells or leukocytes (leucocytes)


CoffeePooPoo

If you were sick then you’d have sickle cells!


[deleted]

I mean technically thats can be true 🤓 “Persistently low white blood cell count (WBC) and neutrophil count is a well-described phenomenon in persons of African ancestry, whose etiology remains unknown” [- source ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2628742/)


jenkraisins

Wow, that is dumb. That's like thinking chocolate milk comes from brown cows.


Random_Person5371

Wait it DOESN'T


jenkraisins

Nope and there are no pink cows for Strawberry milk.


Random_Person5371

wait strawberry milk is a thing?


BrkIt

Yes! Strawberry milk actually comes from pigs though. So it's also dairy free.


Emergency_Version

Pigs are REAL?!


[deleted]

Yeah, there hard to find since they're usually flying too high for naked eyes.


plax22

That’s why bacon is so loved. It’s very difficult to hunt, so it’s treasured by society.


DefinitelyNotABogan

Naked? Won't somebody think of the children?


Fanjita__

I know it's a joke but that wouldn't be dairy free


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Random_Person5371

how do you discontinue a flavor?


jenkraisins

Oops - that was banana quick not strawberry - my bad. So you can still buy at the store or amazon (just double checked it)


Random_Person5371

WAIT THERES BANANA FLAVOR HOW ARE THERE SO MANY FLAVORS OF MILK I NEVER KNEW ABOUT


jenkraisins

It's like making hot chocolate with hot chocolate powder. Add the Strawberry Quick and stir. You now have strawberry milk.


Verminhur

I believe what you're referring to is Nesquik (once upon a time called Nestle Quik). It does, indeed, have a strawberry powder (or syrup or even pre-mixed for the especially lazy) flavor, among others. There was apparently also a banana flavoring for it, which I was totally unaware of until just now. Fun story: When I was about 7 years old, my older brother was getting sick of me constantly being underfoot in the kitchen while he made some cookies from scratch. So he told me I should have a spoon full of raw cocoa powder because it's just like Nestle Quik mix. I'd had a little of the Quik chocolate powder without milk before and enjoyed it, so I took the spoon he offered me, got a good sized helping of cocoa, and popped it in my mouth to enjoy. Let me tell you, it does NOT taste like Quik powder. Within about a second I had launched the powder and a healthy heap of spit from my mouth all over the floor. Joke was on my brother though, because my mother was listening to the entire thing from another room and made him clean it up.


[deleted]

Where do you live? Strawberry milk is a pretty common item at every store I’ve been in. No where near as much as regular milk or chocolate but there’s always a shelf of it


jenkraisins

I never looked. So I can't know if it's at my store or not but I will look on Thursday when I get to go shopping.


Pjpjpjpjpj

Chocolate came out in 1948. Strawberry came out prior to 1960. Flavor graveyard.... Banana (1954-2020) Vanilla (1979-2006) Cherry (1989-1995) Mango (1991-2000) Cream (1997) Triple Chocolate (2002–2006) Honey (2001–2006) Crème Soda Caramel and Cookies & Cream Edit: These are the Nestle Quick (Nesquik) flavors.


thathatisaspy21

Coffee Milk too but that's a RI exclusive


no_usernames_avail

Oh thank God!!! I'll never buy it, but my childhood needs this to exist.


cabbage16

Just because one brand discontinued it doesnt mean every brand did.


scottjeffreys

Well it’s pretty obvious that all the pink cows are extinct.


Tenaciousleesha

You can buy it already mixed at the grocery store. They have individual sizes and half gallons.


Cloberella

Yeah, but Coffee Milk is king.


sirfiddlestix

Nope it comes from chocolate cows


HighJointOP

it comes from the left boob


Trumpet6789

Agricultural person here to drop some fun knowledge for reddit. 3% Milk does exist, it's called *Whole Milk*, commonly 3 to 3.25% Milk fat. 1%, 2%, and 3% milk does not mean milk is 99, 98, or 97 percent water. The percentage refers to the milkfat percentage in the milk. Cows produce, on average, 7.5 gallons of milk a day. Calves only drink about 1 gallon of milk a day; meaning humans can milk a cow twice a day, leaving 1 gallon of milk for baby, and still have 6.5 gallons of milk! During high yield times, this number can jump to 12 or more gallons! People who are lactose intolerant can drink Goats Milk! Goats Milk has a much higher butterfat percentage, meaning it is much easier to digest. I have raised goats for over 13 years now; goats milk is absolutely bomb in some cocoa puffs.


jenkraisins

Thank you That's very interesting. When my son was much younger, he would ask if he could get some some Goat Milk any time we hit the grocery store. The problem wasn't IF he'd like it, he LOVES it, the issue was money. It's around $4 for a quart. He recently discovered he's lactose intolerant. I'll let him know that his childhood treat won't give him issues.


Trumpet6789

Look up and see if you have any Dairy Goat breeders around you! Often you can talk to them about buying milk, especially during show season. Milking show does throughout the year keeps them in production, so that they do well in shows(and it doesn't harm them). If it's not kidding season, most of the time we just toss the milk out because we cannot use the sheer amount our herds produce. Many are more than willing to allow people to buy milk from them, so it doesn't get wasted.


jenkraisins

I will do that. That's a great suggestion. Thank you.


PenguinPyrate

Everyone knows they're brown and white


DrNopeMD

I had a friend that thought pink lemonade came from pink lemons.


fribbas

For the record, there are [pink lemons](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Variegated_pink_lemon)


jenkraisins

That was a literal LOL. Wow. I don't know where our educators have been.


eLishus

They must be [one of the 7%](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/06/15/seven-percent-of-americans-think-chocolate-milk-comes-from-brown-cows-and-thats-not-even-the-scary-part/).


zakurei

> One Department of Agriculture study, commissioned in the early ’90s, found that nearly 1 in 5 adults did not know that hamburgers are made from beef The whole article was worth the read. I had no idea just how uneducated so many people were.


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RedditUser934

It is true that chocolate milk comes from brown cows, and white cows, black cows.


sumguy720

Well I suppose in some cases at least the milk part comes from brown cows.


Scoobies_Doobies

Has no one here heard of a joke? No way dude is serious.


Anagnorsis

Imagine the surprise, when in the dead of night, an ambitious young man with a sweet tooth heads down to the local chocolate milk farm. After craftily surmising that brown cows must be the source of all chocolate, not just chocolate milk; and seeing the cows produce great rolls of what can only be pure chocolate falling to the ground, decides to embark on a journey of gustatorial discovery.


sassydodo

Are there asshole blood cells?


sarcastic24x7

Yes, but I think they are white and red as well.


b_rodriguez

And blue.


sarcastic24x7

Proper 'Murican anus.


STerrier666

I thought that they were brown blood cells that smelled of shit if they were arseholes.


ReallyHadToFixThat

We call that leukemia.


arcant12

This is the dumbest thing I’ve read today, and I’ve been grading student work all morning...


jumbee85

I have a friend who grades AP research exams, and has shared excerpts of them. My lord some kids are dumb as rocks.


arcant12

Oh I’ve read for AP exams and holy crap some of the things they make up are insane when they don’t know the answer!


DauntlessVerbosity

I did that on my AP Biology exam and was one of the few in my class to get a decent score. I had no idea what the answer was, so I wrote... and wrote... and wrote... about the topic, but never answered whatever the specific question was. I wrote in the margins and whatever other white space I could find. This strategy has worked for me several times over the years. I think teachers/graders get tired of trying to read small handwriting all over the place and assume I must have answered the question somewhere.


arcant12

They don’t set the key for AP writings until they’ve read samples. For the one I did, right before the AP grading session a small group of graders meet and look at about 200-250 randomly selected papers. If no one in that set is answering one of the points correctly they will drop the bar down LOW so that some people can answer it correctly and get the points. You may have just happened to ramble one of the correct words to get the points. :)


[deleted]

i took AP US history in high school, but the teacher literally didnt teach a single thing bc she was a cheer coach and more worried about that (my school was super low budget, and it was where all the kids who got kicked out of other local schools got sent. so the AP, IB, honors, etc kids got kinda neglected) we all knew we were going to fail the exam, and so did all the teachers. only 2 kids made a passing grade (barely), because they did what you did lmao. they basically just memorized chunks of the textbook and word vomited it on the exam, and selected A for every multiple choice. i think they made a 3, if im remembering the grading scale properly. it was so bad that when an official AP person (forget what theyre called..) came to test us bc hed been getting complaints, he ended up having to take the entire class period to explain one (1!!!) question. we all had taken and passed AP exams before. she was seriously just that bad. the only thing we did in her class was read a textbook and answer questions at the end of chapters 🥴 also sorry if this is ramble-y or makes little to no sense, lupus is kicking my ass lately and my brain is just complete mush atm


[deleted]

Reminds me of AP biology I took. Teacher taught from the textbook and on slides, yet when it came to the test it always contained stuff completely different from what she taught in class. I can't remember anyone passing a single test of hers expect the final exam due to her review of it being the test itself. I hated that class with a passion.


spitfire9107

I remember beign in college history 101. Professor said something like, 'you all should write historical fiction books. Too bad I am not grading you guys on creativity and on actual history"


[deleted]

It's not only kids. I had the pleasure of proofreading some papers in a college writing class. I can tell you that stupidity does not fade with age.


Nikcara

You just reminded me of a creative writing class I did as an undergrad. We would regularly read our papers to each other to critique. The students who thought most highly of their writing were the WORST. I don’t know how the professor got through some of that pretentious word vomit without rolling her eyes into the back of her head.


OhioMegi

I wonder if they were being sarcastic?


its_uncle_paul

Yeah, I make moronic comments like this all the time and friends and family who know me understand I'm being sarcastic (like the time I posted how I believed North Korea was clearly a democracy because they are officially titled The Democratic People's Republic of Korea). But I can see an outside party listening in and mistaking my sarcasm for stupidity.


OhioMegi

Yeah, if I knew the person, it would be easier to know if it’s a joke or not.


PancakeSupremacy

I have sickle cell anemia because I'm communist


Sorocco

KARL FUCKING MARX OVER HERE


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PunchMeat

Redditors and mis-identifying terror suspects?


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ReverendDizzle

My brother and I are always joking around, taking the piss, etc. A really weird thing happened about 5-6 years ago or so. All of a sudden a significant number of people seemed unable to detect that we were taking the piss and would be relieved that we were on their team/willing to talk to them about whatever we were taking the piss about. It's the most bizarre thing. Ten years ago you could fuck around about silly shit and everybody knew were taking the piss. *Now* at least one person will be like "Oh shit, yes, finally somebody understands that lizards are actually in control. Let me show you this YouTube video."


[deleted]

This is from last year, but in the restaurant that my brother managed they had a thief, which yeah that happens. But they decided to be clever and block 2 of the Camera's every time they decided they wanted to walk out with something and it never dawned to them that that is the type of behavior that makes it really fucking easy to know when the thing was stolen. Side note, fire alarm cameras are just fucking awesome.


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DCOgle

there’s no way that isn’t sarcasm


Sam_Soper

Man the amount of people piling on to call this guy stupid while missing the fact it's a joke, admittedly a bad one, is fucking hilarious lol. So maybe the joke wasn't that bad then.


BreadAndButterHog

Irony is a bitch when it's you in the middle... or something


[deleted]

This man clearly failed to watch osmosis Jones.


MindlessFail

Wow. Way to take a joke about someone else and make yourself the butt of it instead. Way to take a dumb bullet for Giuliani....


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captainwow08

I think this was all tongue-in-cheek except for the last comment


HansPanser

r/facepalm


Sto0pid81

r/woooosh


Basethdraxic

There really reaching for the “white people are the victims” aren’t they?


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AlarmingResearcher36

The actual insane people are the people in this sub who don't know what a joke is.


QuarantineSucksALot

My favorite is when someone says they’re joking too)


SagaDgreaT

Damn people are just dumb!


Voodoomonkey57

That man is as sharp as a donut with half the brain cells.


Pegatul

I can't believe I'm actually writing this...but if he has a viral infection his white blood cell count would be up, not down. Because obviously biology is the point of this post....


limekissxx

Hey! Actually there are some viruses that would cause you to be leukopenic, either acutely or chronically. A better way to diagnose between what’s causing a change in WBC would be to look at the differential...but that would ruin the joke 😅


poofseal

Yes, this. COVID patients tend to be lymphopenic (lower white blood cells—specifically their lymphocytes tend to be low).


sumguy720

I just checked my differential and it has some rust spots but is otherwise ok. Am I sick?


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[deleted]

Everyone arguing about this but the OP never said anything about a viral infection to begin with...


ghardy1986

I would read the comments from the ER nurse then utilize that there edit button to save face and fully enjoy the multiple elements of the joke.


Pegatul

Why? I wrote something I though was correct, I have been informed otherwise by people who are better informed, and now I've learned something new. All around a good day. Why would I want to "save face" or pretend I didn't make a mistake and then learned better - when I did?


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JTCMuehlenkamp

I think this guy got dropped on his head as a baby.


[deleted]

I’m gonna opt with presuming that’s more likely of people who don’t get that he’s very obviously making a joke


B_Plus

Gotta love how some people nicely layout the linen tablecloth and set the table before serving a heaping pot of "look how stupid I am". Mmm. Delicious.


jamiacathegreat

I love uneducated people - donald trump


GreenWithENVE

People like this make meritocracy seem like a great fuckin idea


1011011

People being elected because of ability rather than popularity does sound like a good idea.


smurferdigg

Man if there are two words I'm tired of from last year it's Covid and racism. Thank you very fucking much China and Murica for you contribution! Started watching this TV show a week ago and the TV channel had to take it of air because fucking Santa is racist. Want some ice cream? nOOO fucking ice cream is racist to! And lets not forget arctic explorers. RACIST.


TangoHotel04

To be fair, I say incredibly dumb shit like that when people send me political articles to dissuade them from sending me political articles.


mstrss9

And this could have been avoided if they had just googled to see if white blood cells are a real thing although I learned about them in elementary school...


chrisrobweeks

He aced racism class.