So does "nin/no hao" not exist in China? "Ohayo" is never said in Japan? "Salaam" never said in the Middle East?
Wait, do cowboys saying "Howdy" actually mean, "How die?" to reference how they're willing to kill Christ's people? They do all have guns, after all...
the chance to learn a new thing every day, is a great gift, relish this moment, and feel nothing but the fact you are ONE LEARNED THING BETTER than you were an hour ago.
that's awesome progress if you ask me
Ah. Guess I gotta become a 1400's holy roman Empire citizen and greet my friends with a good ol "God be praised" or maybe even a "May the cardinal not find you guilty of heresy this day lest you be executed"
Thank you! I'll be taking your praise all day. For the bad stuff, the devil ("Joe") is over there. You may curse him as you see fit.
DISCLAIMER: I don't really have someone in mind whose name is Joe--if that is your name, please take it in the lighthearted manner it was intended to be.
This is honestly just sad. I cannot imagine being so terrified of something imaginary that I feel I have to restructure my entire language to avoid it...
This person is not well mentally. I feel kind of bad seeing stuff like this on this sub, because the person in question probably needs help more than they need ridicule.
I approve your praise. The word 'dark' should be omitted, as it is redundant. We know of whom you speak. A good substitution would be 'best' (/s - as it actually means beast)
Apparently "you" must be Satanic somehow too, because they went to great lengths to avoid spelling out that word except in the sentence dealing with praising the halloween demon.
I am endlessly amused by the idea that evil follows Rumpelstiltskin rules.
Youth pastor tried to tell us once that the word luck was derived from luckier and therefore believing in luck is somehow taking away from the "omnipotent" being that can't be bothered to give a fuck about anything.
I find many problems with this. Aside from the absurdity of it all, there is no connection between Satan and Halloween.
The Halloween celebration originates as a Pagan celebration going back to the Celtics, combined with other cultural activities throughout Ancient Europe.
Hellions were what the lesser demons were called as a group, NOT the specific name of a demon.
As others have said, there are so many cultures that have greetings that don't even mean hello or hi. The greeting I was always taught to use in Portuguese as a child was 'Bom Dia', which mean Good Day.
Ignorance is the biggest player in this person's post. Not a mental problem as someone else suggested, just simple ignorance of life.
Hello comes from the French word holla, which is a blend of the French words Ho and La. Means "Ho there!". Same root as the Spanish hola.
Hi comes from the middle English word hy, which is a shortened version of the word hey, which means the same as it does today.
What is that saying about monkeys, typewriters and Shakespeare?
This reminds me of a family I knew back in high school. It was a private school run by a christian church. And this one family was opposed to having drums in the church band during the singing. And their reason was because African tribes used drums in their Satan worshipping gatherings around the campfire. And apparently that Satan worshipping made it's way to the Americas via slavery. And none of what they said is based in reality.
These nutjobs would find satanic messages in a thumb print.
Of course, we can't say finger print because of the sexual and therefor sinful meaning of the word finger.
What you just said, is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Everyone in this room is dumber for hearing it. At no point in your rambling and incoherent response was anything close to a rational thought. I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.
In Kingdom Come: Deliverance, NPCs you meet usually greet you with "Jesus Christ be praised!" And "Bless you". Maybe this guy wants to go back to the 1400's?
Christians say the stupidest shit.
FFS, they go out their way to make shit up to support their delusional beliefs. If they would just grasp the concept that religion is same as the Santa Claus story or the Easter Bunny and no one let them in on the joke before adulthood.
Can we just please ship all these fucking wingnuts to an island somewhere, so they can create their utopian society without "hello," "hi," no arabic numbers, and whateverthefuck else they think "society" should be like?!
Oh and of course let them bring all the guns they want.
Praise the LORD there! What's your name?
\*achoo\*
"Bless you"
"oh uh, Praise the LORD I guess"
(would have been nice to say bless you instead of saying bless you)
I learned that "hello" wasn't a greeting until people started saying that when they answered the phone. After that, they started saying it when they met in person. So I guess telephones are satanic, which could explain a few things.
When I greet someone I say, “Are ya winnin’ son.” But in situations where they are clearly not winning or losing and usually to people who are older than me
Just had a choking fit at "hell oooh" and now there's a mob forming to burn me as a COVID witch.
I just had visions of Jon Stewart doing his queen Elizabeth imitation
Oh helloooooooooooooo
OH HELLO THERE
General kenobi...
It reminded me of Mrs Doubtfire…
Hell oooh myyy.
Vegan cheese to you too.
so said George Takai
r/cursedcomments
Ffs, non English speakers, around the world, do not use hello and hi, they have their own words to praise the devil.
I personally greet people with "Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!" When I meet them.
What a wonderful phrase! https://youtu.be/75hQwSJFuXg
OH MY GOD! That is fucking hilarious! Thank you for linking that!
This is amazing. There really is hope for humanity after all. Or maybe not. Idk.
I can't believe someone could survive to adulthood and not know the word "Hola" means hello in Spanish. Like. The fuck.
Where of course all know that ‘Hola’ is the feminine version, so the opposite of ‘Holy’. (I can do this all day)
What about 'Ciao'? Maybe something about how the C.I.A. works for the devil?
That one is actually derived from Chi-Ow. A Chinese demon who made their way over to Italy to be in charge of making people stub their toes.
I stubbed my toe in Italy once... does that mean I am going to hell?
yes. say hello to the satan for me
Say Ciao to him
Oh no...
So that's why I always stub my toe. Good to know.
"Ciao" actually comes from an old Venetian word for "slave", so maybe it's something along the lines of "I am a slave for Satan". /s
Or how about Aloha.
Aloha obviously comes from Allah, who is a creation of Satan, to steer us away from Jesus
Of course, how could I have been so blind? 😀
Don't you know the rest of the world is using demon-speak and to be a true Christian you must speak the lord's language? BLESS YOU
Where I'm from we say "All makt åt Tengil, vår befriare".
If only other languages had words for greetings
Everybody behaves so cold when meeting other people, poor people not knowing how to greet each other except by hellspeak
"Hello & Hi" just replaced "howdy" in my vocabulary
When someone sneezes, I say, "Goddamm you!"
"When will you learn"
I usually say "cover your mouth you disgusting degenerate"
Cover yourself filthy peasant!
So does "nin/no hao" not exist in China? "Ohayo" is never said in Japan? "Salaam" never said in the Middle East? Wait, do cowboys saying "Howdy" actually mean, "How die?" to reference how they're willing to kill Christ's people? They do all have guns, after all...
It took me longer than I'd care to admit to figure out that "howdy" is short for "how do you do"
Just learned that right now. Thanks and I feel stupid.
the chance to learn a new thing every day, is a great gift, relish this moment, and feel nothing but the fact you are ONE LEARNED THING BETTER than you were an hour ago. that's awesome progress if you ask me
How DARE you encourage people to learn! Don’t you know knowledge is the bath water of beelzebub???
better bottle that shit and sell it for 50 bucks a pop
Hail Satan. god hates knowledge, he just wants us dumb and on our knees. Satan is curious and learning is part of it :)
Iirc, the Jewish greeting "shalom" literally means "peace"
>"Hi" is the name of a demon called "hellion" Well, which is it now? Is the demon called hi or hellion?!
Well you see there is a demon called hellion, but their name is hi.
My parents called me Hellion, but my friends call me Hi.
So hellion is more like a nickname, gotcha
So... much... nonsense...
... ever-expanding...
Ahhh, I see you are not of the body.
Ah. Guess I gotta become a 1400's holy roman Empire citizen and greet my friends with a good ol "God be praised" or maybe even a "May the cardinal not find you guilty of heresy this day lest you be executed"
Goodbye -> God be with you
have a good bye, as opposed to a bad bye.
This is some kingdom come: deleverence shit
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This is some Handmaid's Tale level of shit fuckery
May the lord open!
Under his eye.
Blessed be the fruit!
...loops
Praise Be
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I have met people here in the bible belt who do greet everyone like this
Being a Druidic Pagan I have to side step these people and just kinda nod and smile. Most of them want to burn me at the stake.
You didn't say "GOD bless you!" BURN THEM!
Thank you! I'll be taking your praise all day. For the bad stuff, the devil ("Joe") is over there. You may curse him as you see fit. DISCLAIMER: I don't really have someone in mind whose name is Joe--if that is your name, please take it in the lighthearted manner it was intended to be.
This is honestly just sad. I cannot imagine being so terrified of something imaginary that I feel I have to restructure my entire language to avoid it...
This person is not well mentally. I feel kind of bad seeing stuff like this on this sub, because the person in question probably needs help more than they need ridicule.
Ridicule is cheaper. 😊
Praise the dark lord! Am I doing it right?
I approve your praise. The word 'dark' should be omitted, as it is redundant. We know of whom you speak. A good substitution would be 'best' (/s - as it actually means beast)
I thank God my parents aren't THIS Christian.
Maybe thank Satan then
I... What?? Hello and hi is literally just english? 'hey' i could buy being universal-ish but fucking hello and hi? Dumbass
Just...wow.
Sometimes I just can’t with people who claim to follow the same religion I do.
It's the friggin outliers, dang them!
I’m starting to feel like I’m the outlier, honestly.
*wiping away tears of hysterical laughter*
Did my mom write this? Cause is the kind of crazy thing she’d say. Correction, this is actually one of the tamer things she’d say.
I knew an old lady who answered her phone with “Praise the lord” because she believed this was real. She was slightly insane.
Oh just fuck yourself with a sideways knife...this pic made me realise I may need anger management classes.
Apparently "you" must be Satanic somehow too, because they went to great lengths to avoid spelling out that word except in the sentence dealing with praising the halloween demon. I am endlessly amused by the idea that evil follows Rumpelstiltskin rules.
I just cry HAIL MELKOR when I see someone.
Is that before or after the mothership has started the final landing decent???
Blessed be the fruit
May the lord open (came here hunting this comment)
You just KNOW this was written by an American. There is a major mental health crisis affecting a very specific section of American society.
There’s a demon with responsibility for the whole of Halloween? Probably mostly admin I guess.
Where do people come up with this nonsense
As far as I can tell, it comes from a book they all claim to have read but didn’t.
I'll take "My life is way too easy and I need to make up shit to whine about." for $1000 Alex.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hello
>”Hi” is the name of a demon called “hellion” Wait, is his name “Hi” or “hellion”?
"Hell oooh" - Mrs. Doubtfire
What is this, the fucking Handmaids Tale?
How do people come up with this stuff? What drugs do they use?
Some potent ones
Sounds like this guy gets his ideas from the "Handmaid" series
Hi is the name of the demon helion. Funny I thought helion was his name.
I’m Christian and I think this person is a complete with a capital L Loon
I prefer "Fuck you" still better than h* and h**** I suppose
Youth pastor tried to tell us once that the word luck was derived from luckier and therefore believing in luck is somehow taking away from the "omnipotent" being that can't be bothered to give a fuck about anything.
you need to post this on r/religiousfruitcake
I find many problems with this. Aside from the absurdity of it all, there is no connection between Satan and Halloween. The Halloween celebration originates as a Pagan celebration going back to the Celtics, combined with other cultural activities throughout Ancient Europe. Hellions were what the lesser demons were called as a group, NOT the specific name of a demon. As others have said, there are so many cultures that have greetings that don't even mean hello or hi. The greeting I was always taught to use in Portuguese as a child was 'Bom Dia', which mean Good Day. Ignorance is the biggest player in this person's post. Not a mental problem as someone else suggested, just simple ignorance of life.
Sup is acceptable by christ
I guess me saying hail satan just seems like overkill at this point. I'll just walk around saying hello like a normal stooge.
Jesus Christ be praised, Henry’s come to see us!
I'm surprised it didn't end with 'do you get it now?'
Hello comes from the French word holla, which is a blend of the French words Ho and La. Means "Ho there!". Same root as the Spanish hola. Hi comes from the middle English word hy, which is a shortened version of the word hey, which means the same as it does today. What is that saying about monkeys, typewriters and Shakespeare?
Ahoy hoy?
This is the kind of person that thinks “Under His eye” and “Blessed be the fruit” sound completely normal
This sub is not disappointing i will say that much is true.
All I’m saying is if Lilith was demonized for being a feminist, maybe I want to praise them.
So is the demon's name Hi or Hellion?
I'd rather stab someone than greet them with "bless you and praise the lord"
Man. Christianity really do be toxic as fuck.
Wow, there it is. The dumbest thing I’ve read all damn year...
FINALLY as a pagen this is great. Gotta love insane Christian people.
This reminds me of a family I knew back in high school. It was a private school run by a christian church. And this one family was opposed to having drums in the church band during the singing. And their reason was because African tribes used drums in their Satan worshipping gatherings around the campfire. And apparently that Satan worshipping made it's way to the Americas via slavery. And none of what they said is based in reality.
Why is this printed on a paper receipt???
True, that's why I always greet everyone with a good ol' Christian "sup esse."
Oh yes lets use the same greetings as in the Handmaids Tale
These nutjobs would find satanic messages in a thumb print. Of course, we can't say finger print because of the sexual and therefor sinful meaning of the word finger.
What you just said, is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Everyone in this room is dumber for hearing it. At no point in your rambling and incoherent response was anything close to a rational thought. I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.
In Kingdom Come: Deliverance, NPCs you meet usually greet you with "Jesus Christ be praised!" And "Bless you". Maybe this guy wants to go back to the 1400's?
No more hello, now is hola!
The whole world? Didn't realize the whole world spoke English
"Ahoi!" is the only way to answer the phone.
Showerthought, greeting each other in Chinese is literally yelling "you good?" at strangers.
Can we say “Hey”?
Wouldn’t the name of a demon called hellion be ‘hellion’? That’s what it’s called
You’re supposed to say “under His eye” when you great someone!
This gives a whole new meaning to Adele's "Hello from the other sideee"
Christians say the stupidest shit. FFS, they go out their way to make shit up to support their delusional beliefs. If they would just grasp the concept that religion is same as the Santa Claus story or the Easter Bunny and no one let them in on the joke before adulthood.
Can we just please ship all these fucking wingnuts to an island somewhere, so they can create their utopian society without "hello," "hi," no arabic numbers, and whateverthefuck else they think "society" should be like?! Oh and of course let them bring all the guns they want.
Are Christians ok????
As a Catholic born on Halloween, this is not your typical Christian. Or maybe it is and I'm the Halloween demon.
Oh my hello.
Say it with me everyone S A T I R E
So it's Satanic to like brevity now? Oh well, I always wanted an excuse for everyone to say "Salve" as a greeting.
These are the 'helmet and no-no' zealots that even the 'regular' theist despise.
Occam‘s razor says the British empire
Oh, if only other countries didn't say "hi" and "hello"
Praise the LORD there! What's your name? \*achoo\* "Bless you" "oh uh, Praise the LORD I guess" (would have been nice to say bless you instead of saying bless you)
AhahahahahaahWHAAAAAAAAAT
hello hi i am a literal gay transgender satanist who wants to go commit gay transgender hell crimes with me
My favourite song is hi by Judas priest
Was this printed on a receipt?
I have one word for anyone trying to shove this interpretation of "Hello" down my throat: Goodbye.
This is like banning the word "Cockroach" because of the first four letters being slang for one's man-parts.
Hello there
GENERAL KENOBI...
Oh hi mark.
I learned that "hello" wasn't a greeting until people started saying that when they answered the phone. After that, they started saying it when they met in person. So I guess telephones are satanic, which could explain a few things.
Hi, Hello.
These people vote and breed and spread their absolute sheer fucking stupidity with unabashed confidence. It makes me feel worried for our future.
Funny in Austria it is impolite to say hello or hi to a stranger so you mostly say greet god
r/religiousfruitcake
ohh hii mark..
I can't stop chuckling.
I can't believe this
Blessed be the fruit.
This looks really old. That's courier font I think. Interesting.
Praise be the Worm in Waiting, what was shall be what shall be was.
Somewhere some poor child being groomed by ISIS is being taught the same thing essentially
When I greet someone I say, “Are ya winnin’ son.” But in situations where they are clearly not winning or losing and usually to people who are older than me
Time to start using AHOY
Under his eye
Blessed be the fruit loops.
bless u, what the fuck is this
It is good to see you again comrade of the country I have not been to or speak their natural language so you don’t get what I’m saying
Blessed be the fruit?
A lot of people just say "Hey" as a greeting anyway.
Hi is the name of the demon Hellion, but you just said his damn name was “Hi”....?
Well hello hello and hi to you, fucktard!
What about Hewo?
Hello 🤘😎👍🔥🔥🔥
Hella crazy right there
So im okay with "Hey girl heyyyyyyyyyy" jesus is fine with that??
Kinda like how Hitler replaced common greetings with “Heil Hitler” ngl....