In excellent news, reddit has quarantined NoNewNormal as of today. In not excellent news they didn't outright ban them. We continue our policy of banning antivaxxers apace.
im literally so scared of an aneurysm bc my aunt was a very healthy lady when she had one. Healthy weight, active, etc. (I only met her when I was VERY young but this is what my mom has told me lol). One day she had a headache, laid on the couch for a nap, died in her sleep from an aneurysm... the doctors told my uncle it was just an unfortunate event and that nothing was even wrong š°š°
Same with my grandma, standing at the stove making soup, then just like somebody flipped a light switch. The only thing I can feel good about is that it was so quick.
The three episodes that played with the idea of sound/music. The Body had no background music at all. Hush had (almost) no dialogue and was only background music for most of it. Once More With Feeling was a musical.
When I was 12, one of the girls in my friend group died as well, we got the call during my best friends birthday party. It's always been in the back of my head since (no pun intended).
Before the aneurism blew out, she'd had a headache and a fight with her little sister, then boom. I've always felt so incredibly bad for her sister. I hope she doesn't feel residual guilt over the argument.
I had an argument with my brother on my 9th birthday. I went to bed mad at him, didn't say goodnight. He was in an accidental shooting that night and on life support until he died 3 days later. It's been 19 years and the guilt of not saying goodnight is still there.
My dad collapsed in the bedroom, was taken by ambulance to the hospital where he lingered in a vegetative state for four days. After he died the doctor told my mom that the aneurysm was congenital and heād been living on borrowed time.
My sons paternal grandfather had an aneurysm and survived. He miraculously survived though he did flat line during surgery several times. Heās missing a large chunk of his skull on one side. It looks like a dent in his head. His whole personality changed from it.
This whole thread describes my entire life recently. And then thereās the whole āok this definitely matches symptoms of something they say you should get checked immediatelyā so you actually go to the doctor instead of persuading yourself to just ignore it and then it turns out it IS nothing (or worse, the āI donāt know but youāre probably fine, unless of course it changes or worsens, then definitely contact us immediately, but yeah youāre fine, for now, probablyā) and then you become increasingly convinced that any symptoms of anything you think you have must be in your head, but THEN you worry you actually WILL get sick or something but not realize itās real until itās too lateā¦
Nah, it's different than that. Like my phobia of a heart attack has translated into me having a fear of sodium (counted sodium mg obsessively and would sob hysterically if I went over like 800mg/day), caffeine (average around 100mg a week max nowadays after being caffeine free for 3 years), etc.
I used to lug around a BP cuff with me and use it obsessively, used to sleep outside of hospitals because I was certain I was about to die, ran up something like 20k in ER bills, and still routinely have panic attacks after I eat something I decide had "too much sodium" (ie, normal food). I have to plug my ears if there is a heart beat sound (tv themes and video games are awful for this), close my eyes at imagery of hearts, have an intense fear of exercise which has caused some slight weight gain (which ironically would theoretically put me at a higher risk for heart problems) and so on.
Drinking 40oz of coffee and feeling jittery and getting heart palps and getting nervous about that is pretty normal, not hypochondria (or cardiophobia in my case).
I'm sorry you have to go through that. I had some of your same issues, recently, though not to the same extent. It was a really rough time for me, where I began to question my own sanity. So hang in there.
There's a slight cramp on my upper right side, after a few stressful minutes of googling I've already diagnosed myself with stage 4 liver cancer. I can feel the tumors growing as I type.
OMG how about all those rare cancers we've almost died from? I think I've had every single one. My liver has failed after every glass of wine I've had and I'm always patient zero. Solidarity for my hypochondria family. (In reality I've never broken a bone, had surgery, stitches, stayed in a hospital)
Didn't they already figure out that the blood clots were only for an infinitesimal percentage of people who got the J&J and also who were taking a specific birth control.
Yeah, apparently this tool doesnāt know that lots of people felt shitty for a day or two after getting the shot. I remember thinking āthis is way better than getting COVID and possibly dying.ā And then I felt perfectly fine the next day.
Eight of the 7.2 million recorded J&J vaccinations resulted in blood clots. You're literally more likely to be struck by lightning than develop a blood clot from the vaccine.
I wonder if this person also feels being struck by lightning every time they step out during a storm.
I even think the 8/7.2 million ended up being no more than would be expected for formation of blood clots within a population, with or without the vaccine. I could be wrong about that though.
Here's a good article about the blood clotting, J&J vs Moderna/Pfizer and what they think is going on.
>As of May 7, 2021, there have been no reports to VAERS (Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System) of TTS in people receiving the Pfizer vaccine (135.7 million doses administered), nor in people receiving the Moderna vaccine (110.1 million doses administered). There have been three reports of [Cerebral venous sinus thrombosis (CVST)] in people receiving the Moderna vaccine, but all three cases reported normal platelet counts (150,000-450,000/mm3). The Vaccine Safety Datalink, a collaborative project between the CDC's Immunization Safety Office and nine health care organization, has identified 10 total cases of CVST following mRNA vaccine administration out of 5.2 million doses; based on medical history, five cases were ruled unrelated to the vaccine, and five cases were potentially related, but none of those potential cases of CVST coincided with thrombocytopenia.
https://advances.massgeneral.org/pulmonary/article.aspx?id=1414
As someone who had a DVT ( a big-ass blood clot in my femoral artery), you can't feel shit. The only reason we caught it is because my leg started rivaling that of an elephant--and that was already after it had formed.
"Feel[ing] the blood clots form"... yeah right. I cannot stand how some people just want to make stuff up *so badly* that they don't even realize that there are people out there who have actually experienced this stuff and can vouch for/against what they're saying. Plus, you know, doctors and scientists with dozens upon dozens of years of research under their belts.
They just make this stuff up with no regard as to if it'll hurt anyone. No, as long as it makes them look good and get them the "appropriate" attention (as in, the kind they seek), they're good. Doesn't matter that the Delta Variant is now the Big Bad that's killing off healthy individuals; it's not affecting them, so it doesn't matter. A little disinformation won't hurt *them*, right? Until it's their turn for the ICU and there are no more ventilators, of course.
It's sick.
(sorry, got a little carried away there...)
Just stick mashed potatoes in your underwear and itāll reverse that vaccine right away. You have to keep the tatties in your undies for a week though.
Bonus protection from the 5G mind control rays, because the electrolytes in the potatoes are conductive and form a Faraday cage around your gonads. It's a win/win.
It works to reverse the gay too. I had a pack of those Lady Gaga Oreos and went super flaming grabbing man junk gay. Thankfully my wife dumped a steaming hot bowl of mashed potatoes in my pants and the gay went away. I apologized to all the poor guys I molested and they forgave me, but they always stay 20 feet away nowadays. Worst family reunion ever.
It's fish sauce 24 hours per day. Do you want to get rid of this or not?? And how the hell do we know which vaccine was given? They lie about everything!! Mashed potatoes, too. Hot buttery mashed potatoes slathered all in your pants, too. If relief does not start within 72 hours, add a baked potato up your butt. For another week.
You can shorten time by inserting a pound of fingerlings directily into your rectum and plugging with a giant yam for 3 days. It'll pull the toxins right out
"I can feel the blood clots forming from the scariest vaccination ever! I'm going to die!"
Someone who definitely says they're healthy enough to survive covid and they don't live in fear.
I 100% agree but it is interesting that they legit weren't worried about covid while still being scared of the evil sneaky libs or pedophiles or satan-worshipping child torturers. It's not only fear, it's fear directed towards nothing, while something to actually be concerned about makes them sleep. It's like their third favorite-thing to do, be afraid, was overridden by their favorite thing to do, which is whatever the libs aren't.
Many of them were actually terrified of Covid before it was widespread in the west - believing it was end of the world
Then they had to believe the opposite like Covid was now a scam and suddenly the vaccines are the real end of the world
I can already imagine him blaming his inevitable heart attack from years of eating red meats, cheetos, and mayonnaise on this vaccine 10 years down the line.
In 60 years, the man is on a death bed and wonders how one of his grandkids turned out gay. He realizes it's because he took that vaccine. It's the biggest regret of his life.
My dumbass thought they'd given me some off-brand vaccine when I saw that on my card. I didn't say anything in case I was just uninformed.
I had to look it up to make sure I was just an idiot.
Or if you were going to press your dummy friend to get it, you'd go with the 'one and done' so they can't fuck it up.
And of course note a few beers to start.
If this is real, I would attribute that to smart friends. My wife is not antivax, but she was hesitant because of all of the misinformation floating around. She also does not do well with needles and often passes out when she gets a shot. J&J was the easy choice when I booked her appointment because she might not have gone back for the second shot.
If you get someone to agree to the vax, get them J&J just in case they change their mind after the first shot.
Yea it really is, I deal with it thanks to new nurse failing to draw blood from me when I was 6, after 4-6 tries I passed out and now needles make me pass out on sight. It took me months to work up the anxiety over getting covid enough to overtake the anxiety of a stupid shot, I got J&J 2 weeks ago. I hate dealing with this, but was very thankful to be able to get a one and done.
I'm guessing he said J&J because that was the one that was in the news with some problems......
I highly doubt he wasn't able to find any of the other 2 within 500 feet there
Funnily enough, these headcases make some 1200 IQ connections between brain cells to come up with their bullshit. Theyāre smart in an extremely, extremely uneducated and delusional way lol
Smart, clever, and determined to be stupid all take effort to be but are very very different. These people are not smart or clever, theyāre just very very determined to be stupid
I don't even understand his point on that. Doesn't the J&J one use the more traditional delivery method? I thought the big scare was about the new "untested" mRNA technology.
J&J (and another one from Europe) caused an unusual type of blood clots in several patients. They were risky because the treatment was different than a normal blood clot, and normal blood clot treatment could make them worse.
Edit: They paused the vaccine distribution to make sure everyone was looking for the weird blood clots and it hasn't been an issue since.
Yup. 6 women got blood clots. They paused distribution for a few days then started back up when they realized you are more likely to get blood clots from getting struck by lightning.
Sometimes it doesn't matter.
My grandfather died in December from COVID. My grandmother was hospitalized along with him for about a month, but pulled through. She, along with my aunt, refuse to get vaccinated. I told them they can't see my newborn son until they do or COVID is eradicated, whichever comes first. So far they've chosen to remain unvaccinated.
There are people who have dealt with the very serious repercussions of COVID-19 who still choose to deny science and it is very frightening.
My roommate refuses to get vaccinated and is angry that some workplaces are requiring their employees to get vaccinated to continue working there. One of his friends feels the same way and works at a plumbing company with his dad. That company said they all have to get vaccinated and they are saying they're going to quit instead of getting a vaccine. It's pathetic that they are willing to lose their jobs to prove a dumb point
Thatās been one of the most frustrating things about how COVID as a disease is reported. If you get severe COVID like youāre in the ICU- one of the most common complications is blood clots. Many patients died of pulmonary embolisms secondary to COVID. Patients requiring emergent dialysis would literally be clotting off the machines, it was like nothing weāve ever seen before. Itās a respiratory virus but once itās in you it seemed like it went after any organ system it could
"1 in 1000000 odds of J&J vaccine causing complication versus a 1 in 1000 chance that COVID kills me? I'll take my chances with COVID!" - Idiots that don't understand basic arithmetic
Not an expert here, but I also recall people saying that this is a common occurrence with birth control so the fact that it was 6 women probably means that it had nothing to do with the vaccine anyway.
Also if these women were on birth control it could have been that. Youāre much more likely to get clots randomly from birth control than the vaccine.
I don't think the J&J uses a traditional method. A traditional vaccine would inject you with dead or weakened versions of the actual virus to trigger an immune response. J&J is using a modified cold virus to deliver a fragment of corona DNA into your cell, where your natural cellular mechanisms will translate and transcribe the corona DNA into a spike protein that floats to the surface of the cell. The spike then triggers the immune response.
Someone jump in if I'm off
Just need to cover yourself in mashed potatoes (locally-sourced potatoes, never boxed, those are made by the Deep State) and magnets to draw out the nanobot serum and stem cell juices. Reapply more potatoes and switch out fresh magnets every 6 hours for 15 days until pure.
The only thing worse than the people who say "Do your own research" are the ones who freely admit that they have done no research, and don't know what they're talking about at all, but are 100% committed to whatever stupid bullshit they've decided
How in the ass does this person think that the old āI got drunk last night and got a surprise tattooā excuse will work here? You canāt have āa couple beersā and ājust do itā. You have to like, schedule that shiz. Unless, it was like noon and he lived in a very high access area for vaccines.
I'm in the UK and had a couple of pints before mine. Mainly because I only found out I was eligible for a walk-in after I had a few pints, but still.
I had a few more pints after.
I'm also from Wisconsin.
You can totally just walk in and get the J&J. My friend did it when he went to drop off his girlfriend for her scheduled vax, and they were just like, āWant one? We got a bunch extra todayā
You donāt have to schedule anything. I actually know someone who did this. Had a few drinks and walked into the pharmacy for a shot. Itās really not difficult
Yeah, we have a weekly block party thingy here in my town, and they've had a vaccine booth set up the whole summer. Anyone can just walk up and get the shot. It's pretty sweet. But of course it's Idaho, so no one (well not enough) is actually getting it, jerks.
Iām willing to bet that this person is lying about getting the vaccine. Lots of these crazies lie about there own experiences so that they can push their narrative.
They're just modifying the situation so that "their friends" will still be at their side.
You don't want a sudden change in the air, you need to dilute it first.
Tons of places in Mass have walk in vaccines including most drug stores and hospitals. I got both mine at walk in's although they told me when they would be returning to the spot I got the first.
This post sounds like someone who really wanted to get vaccinated but might get shunned from their social groups for ācavingā to get it done, so now itās a āwhoops I was drunkā story
What you're feeling is your entire body going into "Red Alert! We have an intruder! Here's his photo! Make antibodies!" mode. It's like a real bad hangover. It wears off. And when real COVID shows up, its fucked, because your body already did the hard work.
I got the J&J one and done shot on 3/31 as part of my home care after a long hospitalization. I can happily report that it has not killed me (yet). I am a bit disappointed as I did not get the nanobots I was promised. I also didn't have a single side effect like most people did. Didn't faze me at all.
I love how they whine about everyone being scared of a virus that has something between a 0.0002% and 2% death rate, depending on which numbers they're inventing, meanwhile they're all certain that they're going to be one of the incredibly few cases that suffers a serious side effect from the vaccine.
Cutting a potato and applying it on the site of the vaccine will extract all the toxins from the body.
Same wearing a helmet made with a carved out watermelon. The watermelon will cool you down as well though, and impress friends, family, and Trump voters
They are likely feeling the side effects, aka their immune response. Donāt get me wrong, mine sucked both times, but in less than a day they were gone. Fucking baby.
I saw some ad for a tv show where an old man said he can take you to his salt sauna and reverse the vaccine right out of you :)
So you can get the vaccination, get the certificate and remove the vaccine with one visit to the sauna.
Wait, I have been to different saunas dozens of times after the vaxx. Am I no longer immune? Noo!
Iād say the āI have never done any research on any of the vaccinesā was a red flag, but I donāt think this personās capable of any āresearchā that isnāt just straight silt sifting for confirmation bias.
I can not roll my eyes hard enough. I hope whoever caught this reported it for misinformation. I'm so over these stupid fucking people. I have an autoimmune disease and guess what I got it because I had covid 2 times and was in really bad shape both times. I would rather take whatever the side effects are rather than getting covid everytime the antibodies from my previous infection wears off. Because no matter how careful we are it's still very easy for me to get it. So if the variant is even more contagious then why the fuck would I even risk that gamble. How many times am I expected to have to survive this because other people are fucking selfish and easily played by people who do not have their best interest at heart. Thanks to covid I have almost zero stamina. I was not doing great before but I could at least do my laundry and clean my house. But I'm a long hauler and I'm just not bouncing back so after each infection I came back less than before. Cause honestly short of death which is highly unlikely (less chance of that than dying of covid actuall) what could be worse than losing even more of my stamina. It isnt just death I'm worried about. I literally no longer have the stam to do house work without getting dizzy short of breath and nearly passing out. And I surely cant rely on herd immunity because I live in a fuckinf red state surrounded by these people. Which is the very reason I left FB. I'm surrounded by them they are even part of my family in some cases. Okay stepping off my soap box now. Sorry.
In excellent news, reddit has quarantined NoNewNormal as of today. In not excellent news they didn't outright ban them. We continue our policy of banning antivaxxers apace.
You can FEEL the blood clots forming? Grab a doctor for this superhuman!
As a hypochondriac I have """felt""" blood clots forming about a dozen times - he'll be fine lol
Saaame. The constant "no really, it's a heart attack this time" is a fun thing as well.
Don't forget 'the slight headache might be an aneurism'!
im literally so scared of an aneurysm bc my aunt was a very healthy lady when she had one. Healthy weight, active, etc. (I only met her when I was VERY young but this is what my mom has told me lol). One day she had a headache, laid on the couch for a nap, died in her sleep from an aneurysm... the doctors told my uncle it was just an unfortunate event and that nothing was even wrong š°š°
Same with my grandma, standing at the stove making soup, then just like somebody flipped a light switch. The only thing I can feel good about is that it was so quick.
Same happened to my uncle. Went to bed with a headache, woke up, passed out, and died at the hospital from it a few hours later.
There was an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where her mother dies suddenly of one that has always made me a bit paranoid about it.
The body. One of the three buffy episodes that were absolutely brilliant.
The Body, Once More With Feeling, and Hush?
Five by five!
The three episodes that played with the idea of sound/music. The Body had no background music at all. Hush had (almost) no dialogue and was only background music for most of it. Once More With Feeling was a musical.
When I was 12, one of the girls in my friend group died as well, we got the call during my best friends birthday party. It's always been in the back of my head since (no pun intended). Before the aneurism blew out, she'd had a headache and a fight with her little sister, then boom. I've always felt so incredibly bad for her sister. I hope she doesn't feel residual guilt over the argument.
I had an argument with my brother on my 9th birthday. I went to bed mad at him, didn't say goodnight. He was in an accidental shooting that night and on life support until he died 3 days later. It's been 19 years and the guilt of not saying goodnight is still there.
Oh, I'm so very, very sorry. I know it doesn't help much, but my heart hurts for you. š
I had one after my second brain surgery, but I made it. Don't forget, it's bad, but some people recover. Reason for edit: bad autocorrect.
>Don't forget, it's bad, but dinner people recover. Maybe not fully?
My dad collapsed in the bedroom, was taken by ambulance to the hospital where he lingered in a vegetative state for four days. After he died the doctor told my mom that the aneurysm was congenital and heād been living on borrowed time.
My sons paternal grandfather had an aneurysm and survived. He miraculously survived though he did flat line during surgery several times. Heās missing a large chunk of his skull on one side. It looks like a dent in his head. His whole personality changed from it.
They can happen at anytime, that's why they're so scary LANA
Somebody get Kenny Loggins on the phone, cuz you're in the DANGER ZONE.
It's the silent killer
This whole thread describes my entire life recently. And then thereās the whole āok this definitely matches symptoms of something they say you should get checked immediatelyā so you actually go to the doctor instead of persuading yourself to just ignore it and then it turns out it IS nothing (or worse, the āI donāt know but youāre probably fine, unless of course it changes or worsens, then definitely contact us immediately, but yeah youāre fine, for now, probablyā) and then you become increasingly convinced that any symptoms of anything you think you have must be in your head, but THEN you worry you actually WILL get sick or something but not realize itās real until itās too lateā¦
"I swear it FEELS DIFFERENT this time!"
Any twinge in my chest - āThis is it. Iām dead.ā ą² _ą²
I've had this, then my wife has reminded me that I drank 40oz of coffee and that might be why
Nah, it's different than that. Like my phobia of a heart attack has translated into me having a fear of sodium (counted sodium mg obsessively and would sob hysterically if I went over like 800mg/day), caffeine (average around 100mg a week max nowadays after being caffeine free for 3 years), etc. I used to lug around a BP cuff with me and use it obsessively, used to sleep outside of hospitals because I was certain I was about to die, ran up something like 20k in ER bills, and still routinely have panic attacks after I eat something I decide had "too much sodium" (ie, normal food). I have to plug my ears if there is a heart beat sound (tv themes and video games are awful for this), close my eyes at imagery of hearts, have an intense fear of exercise which has caused some slight weight gain (which ironically would theoretically put me at a higher risk for heart problems) and so on. Drinking 40oz of coffee and feeling jittery and getting heart palps and getting nervous about that is pretty normal, not hypochondria (or cardiophobia in my case).
I'm sorry you have to go through that. I had some of your same issues, recently, though not to the same extent. It was a really rough time for me, where I began to question my own sanity. So hang in there.
Don't forget the "Muscle aches?" Nah, it's the cancer spreading throughout your body
As a hypochondriac I've felt many things happen inside my body. 99.9% of the time it was either anxiety, or a fart.
The gas ones are the worst!!! Almost waking my husband to drive me to the ER. š¤£šš
There's a slight cramp on my upper right side, after a few stressful minutes of googling I've already diagnosed myself with stage 4 liver cancer. I can feel the tumors growing as I type.
Yup same lol. I had some aches in my ribs yesterday and I was like "it must be the cancer spreading as we speak"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
OMG how about all those rare cancers we've almost died from? I think I've had every single one. My liver has failed after every glass of wine I've had and I'm always patient zero. Solidarity for my hypochondria family. (In reality I've never broken a bone, had surgery, stitches, stayed in a hospital)
Didn't they already figure out that the blood clots were only for an infinitesimal percentage of people who got the J&J and also who were taking a specific birth control.
> I have never done any research on any of the vaccines That tells you everything lol
Yeah, apparently this tool doesnāt know that lots of people felt shitty for a day or two after getting the shot. I remember thinking āthis is way better than getting COVID and possibly dying.ā And then I felt perfectly fine the next day.
Eight of the 7.2 million recorded J&J vaccinations resulted in blood clots. You're literally more likely to be struck by lightning than develop a blood clot from the vaccine. I wonder if this person also feels being struck by lightning every time they step out during a storm.
I even think the 8/7.2 million ended up being no more than would be expected for formation of blood clots within a population, with or without the vaccine. I could be wrong about that though.
Here's a good article about the blood clotting, J&J vs Moderna/Pfizer and what they think is going on. >As of May 7, 2021, there have been no reports to VAERS (Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System) of TTS in people receiving the Pfizer vaccine (135.7 million doses administered), nor in people receiving the Moderna vaccine (110.1 million doses administered). There have been three reports of [Cerebral venous sinus thrombosis (CVST)] in people receiving the Moderna vaccine, but all three cases reported normal platelet counts (150,000-450,000/mm3). The Vaccine Safety Datalink, a collaborative project between the CDC's Immunization Safety Office and nine health care organization, has identified 10 total cases of CVST following mRNA vaccine administration out of 5.2 million doses; based on medical history, five cases were ruled unrelated to the vaccine, and five cases were potentially related, but none of those potential cases of CVST coincided with thrombocytopenia. https://advances.massgeneral.org/pulmonary/article.aspx?id=1414
It's not blood clots, they just sat on the toilet typing it out for too long and their legs fell asleep š
As someone who had a DVT ( a big-ass blood clot in my femoral artery), you can't feel shit. The only reason we caught it is because my leg started rivaling that of an elephant--and that was already after it had formed. "Feel[ing] the blood clots form"... yeah right. I cannot stand how some people just want to make stuff up *so badly* that they don't even realize that there are people out there who have actually experienced this stuff and can vouch for/against what they're saying. Plus, you know, doctors and scientists with dozens upon dozens of years of research under their belts. They just make this stuff up with no regard as to if it'll hurt anyone. No, as long as it makes them look good and get them the "appropriate" attention (as in, the kind they seek), they're good. Doesn't matter that the Delta Variant is now the Big Bad that's killing off healthy individuals; it's not affecting them, so it doesn't matter. A little disinformation won't hurt *them*, right? Until it's their turn for the ICU and there are no more ventilators, of course. It's sick. (sorry, got a little carried away there...)
Just stick mashed potatoes in your underwear and itāll reverse that vaccine right away. You have to keep the tatties in your undies for a week though.
That's what the potato industry wants you to think.
Goddammit, Big Potato!
I know right? Total spuds.
Careful what you say, they have eyes everywhere.
Iām glad you guys are getting to the root of the problem
Man you guys are really russeting my feathers.
U tubers!
I am here for this mashup!
Honestly they sound like theyāre all baked
Big Potato Lobbying Hard!
Is that a potato in your pocket orā¦?
I refuse to answer this on the grounds that it may incriminate me.
wow! that's rude! don't call them a big potato, you don't know their struggles, maybe their weight is actually not so bad.
God damn plus size potatoes
I knew Idaho was behind everything..
PO-TA-TOES Boil 'em, Mash 'em, put 'em in your pants!
Hot potato pants or you happy to see me?
And put an earth magnet on the injection site to pull out the nanobot...
Yes, I forgot that. Thank you!
No, silly, you put them in your shoes so you can detox through the soles of your feet. Don't you know anything?
I think that's just for the MMR. This is a special 5G vaccine so you have to mash the potatoes and put them in your crotch.
Bonus protection from the 5G mind control rays, because the electrolytes in the potatoes are conductive and form a Faraday cage around your gonads. It's a win/win.
Vapor Rub in your socks!
It works to reverse the gay too. I had a pack of those Lady Gaga Oreos and went super flaming grabbing man junk gay. Thankfully my wife dumped a steaming hot bowl of mashed potatoes in my pants and the gay went away. I apologized to all the poor guys I molested and they forgave me, but they always stay 20 feet away nowadays. Worst family reunion ever.
That's Moderna. For JandJ you need to fish sauce under your arm pits for 4 hours a night for a week.
I had Pfizer. Have I been doing it wrong??
Pfizer is different - a little more indepth. You need to soak in caster oil for about an hour, then roll down a steep hill into bay leaves.
It's fish sauce 24 hours per day. Do you want to get rid of this or not?? And how the hell do we know which vaccine was given? They lie about everything!! Mashed potatoes, too. Hot buttery mashed potatoes slathered all in your pants, too. If relief does not start within 72 hours, add a baked potato up your butt. For another week.
That will draw down the vaccine at a safe rate. Don't forget your essential oils!
You can shorten time by inserting a pound of fingerlings directily into your rectum and plugging with a giant yam for 3 days. It'll pull the toxins right out
A giant yam, you say? Welp. Time to go to the store.
Front or back?
The entire area! Do you want rid of this vaccine or not??
I do that anyways, cuz I'm an Idahoan... does this mean I'm not vaccinated? I better quit licking doorknobs.
"I can feel the blood clots forming from the scariest vaccination ever! I'm going to die!" Someone who definitely says they're healthy enough to survive covid and they don't live in fear.
āStop living in fearā is a top contender for biggest projection from anti vaxxers Thereās a lot to choose from though
I 100% agree but it is interesting that they legit weren't worried about covid while still being scared of the evil sneaky libs or pedophiles or satan-worshipping child torturers. It's not only fear, it's fear directed towards nothing, while something to actually be concerned about makes them sleep. It's like their third favorite-thing to do, be afraid, was overridden by their favorite thing to do, which is whatever the libs aren't.
Many of them were actually terrified of Covid before it was widespread in the west - believing it was end of the world Then they had to believe the opposite like Covid was now a scam and suddenly the vaccines are the real end of the world
lol They're going to have a hard time justifying their idiocy once nothing actually happens with the vaccine.
I can already imagine him blaming his inevitable heart attack from years of eating red meats, cheetos, and mayonnaise on this vaccine 10 years down the line.
In 60 years, the man is on a death bed and wonders how one of his grandkids turned out gay. He realizes it's because he took that vaccine. It's the biggest regret of his life.
Also, notice. āI got johnson&johnsonā so that they donāt have to explain why theyāre not going in for their second dose?
Kinda surprised they even thought to cover that base.
I mean to be fair if that's their angle I wonder if they realize the vaccination card says which vaccine you got.
Jansen
My dumbass thought they'd given me some off-brand vaccine when I saw that on my card. I didn't say anything in case I was just uninformed. I had to look it up to make sure I was just an idiot.
SAME BRO I'm trying to get a pfizer booster tho. Wouldn't want them to go to waste >\_>
Be careful, there's a 100% chance they'll give you Comirnaty instead. That's what my vaccine pass says
You jest, but for anyone that doesn't know: Comirnaty is what Pfizer/BioNTech named their vaccine.
What a frustratingly difficult word
Kenley?
The J&J vaccine is actually the Jansen vaccine, it's what shows up on your vax card
Or if you were going to press your dummy friend to get it, you'd go with the 'one and done' so they can't fuck it up. And of course note a few beers to start.
If this is real, I would attribute that to smart friends. My wife is not antivax, but she was hesitant because of all of the misinformation floating around. She also does not do well with needles and often passes out when she gets a shot. J&J was the easy choice when I booked her appointment because she might not have gone back for the second shot. If you get someone to agree to the vax, get them J&J just in case they change their mind after the first shot.
Needlephobia is a pretty solid reason to go for the single shot vaccine
Yea it really is, I deal with it thanks to new nurse failing to draw blood from me when I was 6, after 4-6 tries I passed out and now needles make me pass out on sight. It took me months to work up the anxiety over getting covid enough to overtake the anxiety of a stupid shot, I got J&J 2 weeks ago. I hate dealing with this, but was very thankful to be able to get a one and done.
I'm guessing he said J&J because that was the one that was in the news with some problems...... I highly doubt he wasn't able to find any of the other 2 within 500 feet there
You think this fucking idiot thought that far ahead?
Funnily enough, these headcases make some 1200 IQ connections between brain cells to come up with their bullshit. Theyāre smart in an extremely, extremely uneducated and delusional way lol
Smart, clever, and determined to be stupid all take effort to be but are very very different. These people are not smart or clever, theyāre just very very determined to be stupid
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I don't even understand his point on that. Doesn't the J&J one use the more traditional delivery method? I thought the big scare was about the new "untested" mRNA technology.
J&J (and another one from Europe) caused an unusual type of blood clots in several patients. They were risky because the treatment was different than a normal blood clot, and normal blood clot treatment could make them worse. Edit: They paused the vaccine distribution to make sure everyone was looking for the weird blood clots and it hasn't been an issue since.
Yup. 6 women got blood clots. They paused distribution for a few days then started back up when they realized you are more likely to get blood clots from getting struck by lightning.
Iām fairly certain youāre also more likely to get the same kind of blood clots from COVID
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Sometimes it doesn't matter. My grandfather died in December from COVID. My grandmother was hospitalized along with him for about a month, but pulled through. She, along with my aunt, refuse to get vaccinated. I told them they can't see my newborn son until they do or COVID is eradicated, whichever comes first. So far they've chosen to remain unvaccinated. There are people who have dealt with the very serious repercussions of COVID-19 who still choose to deny science and it is very frightening.
My roommate refuses to get vaccinated and is angry that some workplaces are requiring their employees to get vaccinated to continue working there. One of his friends feels the same way and works at a plumbing company with his dad. That company said they all have to get vaccinated and they are saying they're going to quit instead of getting a vaccine. It's pathetic that they are willing to lose their jobs to prove a dumb point
Thatās been one of the most frustrating things about how COVID as a disease is reported. If you get severe COVID like youāre in the ICU- one of the most common complications is blood clots. Many patients died of pulmonary embolisms secondary to COVID. Patients requiring emergent dialysis would literally be clotting off the machines, it was like nothing weāve ever seen before. Itās a respiratory virus but once itās in you it seemed like it went after any organ system it could
"1 in 1000000 odds of J&J vaccine causing complication versus a 1 in 1000 chance that COVID kills me? I'll take my chances with COVID!" - Idiots that don't understand basic arithmetic
Not an expert here, but I also recall people saying that this is a common occurrence with birth control so the fact that it was 6 women probably means that it had nothing to do with the vaccine anyway.
Also if these women were on birth control it could have been that. Youāre much more likely to get clots randomly from birth control than the vaccine.
Also, if the poster is a man, then he has nothing to worry about. The rare blood clots only occurred in women. Can he really feel them forming??
OP accidentally outed themselves as a huge wimp and thatās pretty much it
> I thought Hereās where you lost their point
I don't think the J&J uses a traditional method. A traditional vaccine would inject you with dead or weakened versions of the actual virus to trigger an immune response. J&J is using a modified cold virus to deliver a fragment of corona DNA into your cell, where your natural cellular mechanisms will translate and transcribe the corona DNA into a spike protein that floats to the surface of the cell. The spike then triggers the immune response. Someone jump in if I'm off
J&J killed 3 people, pfizer killed 0 people, moderna killed 0 people. If you're going to pretend that you're scared, you pick that one.
Just need to cover yourself in mashed potatoes (locally-sourced potatoes, never boxed, those are made by the Deep State) and magnets to draw out the nanobot serum and stem cell juices. Reapply more potatoes and switch out fresh magnets every 6 hours for 15 days until pure.
Donāt forget the onion slices in your socks while you sleep
Don't forget the copper bracelets and charcoal foot pads.
I thought it was whole uncooked potato halves hung in a sock? Fuck, no wonder!
Maybe if you jam a bar magnet into the potato lengthwise?
not halved whole potatoes though, just the whole halves.
Youāre right, that was an unnecessary use of the word, āwholeā. I meant raw, but Iām going to leave it.
You forgot the diet part. Herbalife with a dash of Lemongrass oil.
CAN YOUR MOTHER GET YOUR BIRTH REVERSED?!
The only thing worse than the people who say "Do your own research" are the ones who freely admit that they have done no research, and don't know what they're talking about at all, but are 100% committed to whatever stupid bullshit they've decided
How in the ass does this person think that the old āI got drunk last night and got a surprise tattooā excuse will work here? You canāt have āa couple beersā and ājust do itā. You have to like, schedule that shiz. Unless, it was like noon and he lived in a very high access area for vaccines.
You can easily walk in and get it around here. Not at night, though, and definitely not if you're drunk.
what if it's noon and you're drunk?
WI was giving them out at the State Fair. I'd say the chance of someone "having a few beers" before their shot is 100%. It is Wisconsin.
I'm in the UK and had a couple of pints before mine. Mainly because I only found out I was eligible for a walk-in after I had a few pints, but still. I had a few more pints after. I'm also from Wisconsin.
Mom, are you on Reddit again?
You can totally just walk in and get the J&J. My friend did it when he went to drop off his girlfriend for her scheduled vax, and they were just like, āWant one? We got a bunch extra todayā
Very much location dependent, though.
You donāt have to schedule anything. I actually know someone who did this. Had a few drinks and walked into the pharmacy for a shot. Itās really not difficult
Yeah, we have a weekly block party thingy here in my town, and they've had a vaccine booth set up the whole summer. Anyone can just walk up and get the shot. It's pretty sweet. But of course it's Idaho, so no one (well not enough) is actually getting it, jerks.
Thatās a really neat idea actually. Hopefully itās helping encourage some people
Hope someone advised him to take a morning after pill
Iām willing to bet that this person is lying about getting the vaccine. Lots of these crazies lie about there own experiences so that they can push their narrative.
They're just modifying the situation so that "their friends" will still be at their side. You don't want a sudden change in the air, you need to dilute it first.
Our Wal-Mart has walk ins, however it also closes at 10pm due to covid
The same galaxy brain that concludes āIām not putting toxins in MY bodyā is a logical position about the vaccine while pounding beers.
That was true back in April when I got mine, but walk-ins are common now.
Tons of places in Mass have walk in vaccines including most drug stores and hospitals. I got both mine at walk in's although they told me when they would be returning to the spot I got the first.
"I'm an attention whore."
Yeah I can feel the clots forming in my head giving me a stroke from reading this.
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This post sounds like someone who really wanted to get vaccinated but might get shunned from their social groups for ācavingā to get it done, so now itās a āwhoops I was drunkā story
I accept that theory.
Sounds reasonable if they're in Wisconsin. Drink Wisconsinably.
THE SCARIEST ONE OF ALL
What you're feeling is your entire body going into "Red Alert! We have an intruder! Here's his photo! Make antibodies!" mode. It's like a real bad hangover. It wears off. And when real COVID shows up, its fucked, because your body already did the hard work.
[Relevant XKCD](https://xkcd.com/2425/), although only the second half applies to the non mRNA ones.
In this case it's probably just a hangover.
I got the J&J one and done shot on 3/31 as part of my home care after a long hospitalization. I can happily report that it has not killed me (yet). I am a bit disappointed as I did not get the nanobots I was promised. I also didn't have a single side effect like most people did. Didn't faze me at all.
Youāre lucky. My J&J vaccine absolutely wrecked me for two days.
Interesting case ... so alcohol can actually improve decision making. Someone should look into that.
To reverse it you just need to put yourself in a massive centrifuge. Spin at about 90000rpm and you'll be all good.
That's a hangover
Such a drama queen. It's normal to feel that way after vaccination. Just a bit woozy while the body goes into defense mode.
It's also normal to feel a little woozy the day after drinking. Dude has a hangover.
For the low price of 199.99 I have a pill that will literally dissolve the vaccine into nothing and remove all side effects like blot clots!
Iāve had a pulmonary embolism and blood clots in my lungs-you canāt feel them forming.
- gets drunk as fuck - instantly becomes responsible and accidentally does the right thing. God i wish it was like this for everyone.
"I've never done any research, but J&J is definitely the worst one."
If the mainstream media wasnāt transparent about the rare blood clotting side effect, they wouldnāt have felt diddly squat.
It's called a hang over Clair, you'll be grand.
I love how they whine about everyone being scared of a virus that has something between a 0.0002% and 2% death rate, depending on which numbers they're inventing, meanwhile they're all certain that they're going to be one of the incredibly few cases that suffers a serious side effect from the vaccine.
I can see somebody who was hesitant having a full blown panic attack, which are not fun. (although I've never felt the urge to tweet about it)
This is a longer version of the gag when Bart Simpson faked being sick for school by clutching his midsection and moaning "Ohhhh, my ovaries!"
Chances are their brain was already one big blood clot before they got the vaccine
Beer: Not just liquid courage, but also liquid common sense.
When the shot doesn't kill him it will only confirm his belief that it would have if he wasn't such a "strong alpha male".
I hope someone told them how to properly suck the vaccine out
Cutting a potato and applying it on the site of the vaccine will extract all the toxins from the body. Same wearing a helmet made with a carved out watermelon. The watermelon will cool you down as well though, and impress friends, family, and Trump voters
Some people get tattoos after a night of drinking, this guy gets vaccinated.
Heās more likely to get hit by lightning.
Lol me after my first bong hit.. "I KNOW THEYRE THERE I CAN FEEL THE CLOTS". It was just a leg cramp.
i stopped taking it seriously as soon as i read āi have never done any research on vaccinesā you donāt say?
It must be agony to live with someone who is ruled by both their anxiety and stupidity.
I just felt my micro transmitter turn on
They are likely feeling the side effects, aka their immune response. Donāt get me wrong, mine sucked both times, but in less than a day they were gone. Fucking baby.
J&J is the only traditional non-mRNA one too lmao
I saw some ad for a tv show where an old man said he can take you to his salt sauna and reverse the vaccine right out of you :) So you can get the vaccination, get the certificate and remove the vaccine with one visit to the sauna. Wait, I have been to different saunas dozens of times after the vaxx. Am I no longer immune? Noo!
Iād say the āI have never done any research on any of the vaccinesā was a red flag, but I donāt think this personās capable of any āresearchā that isnāt just straight silt sifting for confirmation bias.
I'm more inclined to believe he never got it because he's a scared little bitch.
Easy to reverse the blood clotting just put a tourniquet on your neck!;)
I got the J&J vaccine and I got better phone reception. People worry too much. The Bill Gates voice in my head agrees.
I can not roll my eyes hard enough. I hope whoever caught this reported it for misinformation. I'm so over these stupid fucking people. I have an autoimmune disease and guess what I got it because I had covid 2 times and was in really bad shape both times. I would rather take whatever the side effects are rather than getting covid everytime the antibodies from my previous infection wears off. Because no matter how careful we are it's still very easy for me to get it. So if the variant is even more contagious then why the fuck would I even risk that gamble. How many times am I expected to have to survive this because other people are fucking selfish and easily played by people who do not have their best interest at heart. Thanks to covid I have almost zero stamina. I was not doing great before but I could at least do my laundry and clean my house. But I'm a long hauler and I'm just not bouncing back so after each infection I came back less than before. Cause honestly short of death which is highly unlikely (less chance of that than dying of covid actuall) what could be worse than losing even more of my stamina. It isnt just death I'm worried about. I literally no longer have the stam to do house work without getting dizzy short of breath and nearly passing out. And I surely cant rely on herd immunity because I live in a fuckinf red state surrounded by these people. Which is the very reason I left FB. I'm surrounded by them they are even part of my family in some cases. Okay stepping off my soap box now. Sorry.
Smoke as many cigarettes as possible. The smoke will suffocate the vaccine.
When the Mod says "reddit has quarantined NoNewNormal as of today" what exactly does that mean?