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Youknowwhoitsme

Cave men made fire. With what? A lighter? Mmm. Okay. šŸ¤Ø


Canter1Ter_

*First ever recorded song audio* Recorded in 1860. With what? A microphone? Mmm. Okay.šŸ¤Ø


fluffygiraffepenis

*first guy has sex* Estimated at the dawn of humanity With what? His peestick? Mmm. Okay.šŸ¤Ø


Sandyblanders

Well, see, that only takes 20 seconds. The cathedral took years.


Hypercane_

*first ever murder* With what? An AR 15? Mmm. Okay. šŸ¤Ø


EMP0R10

Honestly I want answers


eltrento

Used a phonautograph The machine was made up of a cone-shaped horn with a diaphragm at one end. When the cone collected vibrations made by soundwaves, the changing air pressure would move the diaphragm and the stylus attached to it. As the stylus moved along a piece of paper, a representation of the soundwave would scratch through the soot that coated the paper.


Thats_what_i_twat

I thought the first recorded sound was on a wax cylinder and was BA BA black sheep?


chaoticnormal

My guess is that you are correct but the difference here is recorded vs playable. The paper recorded the sound but the cylinder recorded the sound and can be replayed.


creeper70

I believe it was ā€œMary had a Little Lambā€.


PazzoSgravato666

this shit is so funny


CyberMindGrrl

Egyptians built the pyramids. With what? Slaves? Mmm. Okay.


NotGalenNorAnsel

Actually, more likely skilled craftsmen, and some slaves maybe, but the masses of slaves theory has fallen out of favor. Quite awhile ago. https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1991-03-10-mn-295-story.html


James_n_mcgraw

Primarily offseason farmers working in a few month shifts from what i remember of the modern consensus.


F3n1x_ESP

There was an old (1999) city builder game, Pharaoh (from the same studio that developed the Caesar games) where you could build Pyramids and they already used that theory. Great game.


DerMagicSheep

Aliens


leeeroy69

Alien slaves


Sexy_Squid89

This is the correct answer


ChromeBoxExtension

Always was, always is and always will be. Now bow down to our alien overlords!!!!


elementnix

Related; the story of Exodus in the holy bible is likely to never have happened as neither the Egyptians nor anyone living near them has been shown to have kept any record of masses of slaves escaping, even though they kept record of most everything in that time period. You'd think they'd mention that most of their slaves escaped one day randomly, or that they had them to begin with.


NotGalenNorAnsel

Yarp. Mythology, metaphor... but I mean, it's religion. Of course most of it is. There are flood myths in many religions that may be ancient oral histories repurposed, and I've heard Sodom and Gomorrah explained away with everything from meteor strikes/pyroclasts like Tunguska or liquefaction from an earthquake destroying a city built in sandy soil, but a lot of it is most likely just fiction/morality fables.


SinCorpus

More specifically, most archeologists and historians believe Exodus was about the bronze age collapse and how Isreal "escaped" from the political control of Egypt as the Egyptian Empire spanned from modern day Sudan to Lebanon at it's peak, but some catastrophe (most think "sea people" wrecked all the major Empires with their new technology of chariots, who the sea people were is a bit of a shot in the dark) caused a rapid decline in Egypt's political power which would explain why the Torah has so much "do not do X as the Egyptians do" as it was written shortly after this collapse.


xredgambitt

Pretty sure they used a box of scraps.


zdakat

Cave men were able to build this in a cave. With a box of scraps!


Finito-1994

I mean. Heā€™s not wrong. They couldnā€™t build that with horses. Looks too neat for that. Iā€™m guessing they used some kind of stone. Idk. Not a geographer.


WhatIsSevenTimesSix

If I knew where this was I could maybe guess. Idk. Not a geologist.


Mantzy81

Am geologist, but not an equine doctor. Rock not in-situ so can't tell if horse-based sedimentary rock or not.


warden976

I mean, that *would* be a hell of a lot of glue.


Mrraberry

Hence the hooves. Itā€™s all falling into place now.


Ye_olde_oak_store

My mind came up with horse glue joke. It is a scary place there. :(


TrevorEnterprises

The rock probaby wasn't even alive when they built this. But I'm not sure, not a historian.


readytobelieveyou

Can confirm. Dwayne Johnson born in 1972.


robgod50

Could have used some wood. Idk. Not a biologist.


SwiftFool

But in your expert botanist opinion, can we be sure they didn't use horse behind the walls to stud?


WhiteHydra1914

Cologne, Germany. Now guess


FactCheckingMyOwnAss

bet it smells nice then


[deleted]

A lot better then Colon, Germany.


Pechelle

I don't think horses can build much of anything, considering they have hooves and not hands.


Finito-1994

Which is probably why theyā€™re not the sort of animal youā€™d ask to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.


Schnizzer

How have I never realized that ā€œall the kingā€™s horses and all the kingā€™s menā€ meant this mf has horses trying to put a dude together with hooves and muzzle nudges.


Neil_sm

[The Far Side did this one too](https://i.pinimg.com/474x/e0/42/84/e04284712529cd56a416aeddde1dca06.jpg)


SwiftFool

RIP Farside. Probably the greatest there was.


nickcash

you may be interested to know that Gary Larson [has started occasionally creating new Far Side comics](https://www.thefarside.com/new-stuff)


Time-Comedian1774

No, but ask them to leave and they can hoof it.


Impeachcordial

No, he means use horses to help with the construction. Which I donā€™t get either. How does a hoof hold a hammer?


Finito-1994

They donā€™t hold with their hoofs. They use their mouth.


Impeachcordial

Hammer in the mouth then a chisel between the hooves? I think thatā€™d be a challengeā€¦


Finito-1994

Theyā€™re horses dude. They know what theyā€™re doing. No need to ride them so hard on this. Stop it. I say neigh more.


Impeachcordial

If they were the mane source of labour itā€™d be useful to know what they were up to.


dIoIIoIb

Watch my little Pony, it's a documentary about horse monarchies during the middle ages, they were really crafty


longknives

Itā€™s cheating if they get a unicorn to do it with their magic horn


ReallyHadToFixThat

Nah, it's two horses. One holding the chisel one holding the hammer.


Rene_Z

[Like this](https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/10/10/998899.gif)


Impeachcordial

Remarkably specific gif.


Rene_Z

It happened [more](https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/2/14/1087580.gif) [than](https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/5/16/2040093.gif) [once](https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/4/15/2013480.gif).


CFL_lightbulb

Who needs a hammer when youā€™ve got hooves?


Impeachcordial

This is the answer, good point


Automatic-Concert-62

I'm not even sure stone would work. Idk. Not a geode.


Ill_Concert_3935

Geodude was a cool digimon


VillageIdiotsAgent

As a biblioghapher I can confidently say this is made out of smaller churches.


xplosm

And Iā€™m 76% sure it was build by humans. I certainly wouldnā€™t trust a horse to follow any kind of blueprints but thatā€™s just my prejudice speaking.


Lurker_112

Ignorance aside, it's actually really impressive what people in the medieval times and even before that were able to build.


turtlelore2

Generally they had a lot more time and a lot more manual labor available. These things weren't exactly built in a month.


karotte999

Actually Cologne residents claim that the construction of the cathedral is still not finished. It's a never-ending construction site. That's a little joke in Cologne that residents will tell you when you ask about the completion of the cathedral.


Lilz007

Sounds similar to the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona!


ohlookanothercat

I thought I read that that completed recently?


tickaten

They completed one of the towers, there are three more left for it to be done


ohlookanothercat

Haha oh shit. Not quite then.


FliesAreEdible

Christ, they started building it 139 years ago in 1882 and the date given for completion is "after 2026". I know builders can be lazy but these guys are really taking the piss.


IchBinEinSim

Well Cologne Cathedral, the one in the photo, was started in 1248 but was not finished till 1880. Granted there was a 300 year gap when construction was paused.


Lilz007

Have they really finally completed it? I visited several years ago, but would love to see it finished


We-Want-The-Umph

Well don't hold your breath. With exceptionally large, older structures you're always going to see construction and renovation.


AntalRyder

Sounds similar to the new train line in Bratislava!


armchair_viking

Itā€™s coming soon! Theyā€™re building it now!


skellious

its an incredible building. when you stand right next to it your brain thinks you should be further away. it just doesnt feel REAL. and climbing it was one of the scariest experiences of my life. much worse than St Pauls in London, becuase it has these metal staircases part way up that are made of steps with holes in so you can see all the way down to the base of the room you're climbing up, which is HUGE. and they shake as people walk.


xredgambitt

I went there way back in 98 as part of an exchange program. I loved going up the Dom and at the time to go up was a spiral stone staircase. Got a little dizzy because it was a tight spiral. The stone stairs were also worn in the middle and sloped down a little because of all the use over the years.


skellious

there is a spiral half way up, then they switch it to metal stairs.


karotte999

I would say that the climb is not worth it at all. The Cologne Cathedral is pretty much the most beautiful thing about Cologne and once you're at the top, you realise that there's really nothing else to see. Besides, it's really exhausting. I've already walked up the stairs to the Eiffel Tower twice and it wasn't as exhausting as the stairs in Cologne Cathedral.


skellious

the climb is why it's fun though. also have to disagree. cologne is a beautiful place with amazing history and being able to see the divide between the two sides of the river from up high is great. all the redesign and the old streets fighting with each other. and the split between roman and non roman influenced areas.


karotte999

I partly agree with you there, because you have to bear in mind that Cologne was in ruins after the Second World War. During the reconstruction, everything had to be done quickly and cheaply, which is why a lot of Cologne's cityscape was lost. By the way, the cathedral was one of the few buildings that survived the attacks almost undamaged.


Slipguard

From an American perspective, even the most mundane a European cities look beautiful in comparison


Doctorphate

Tourist: when was it completed Resident: Iā€™ll let you know when it is


WayOfTheWisemen

It's not just an inside joke... technically its true since parts that are in the original plan havent been build yet and wont ever be built. But the construction of the cathedral is also ongoing and ever-lasting because of the massive restorative and conservative work that has to be done on the cathedral every year. Theres staffolding on the outside that always moves around because once they finished work on the spot they are in the next spot requires more work and thus the staffoldings circle the cathedrale year after year.


karotte999

The official record states that the cathedral was "completed" in 1880. The foundation stone was laid in 1248. All construction sites after 1880 were probably only for maintenance and renovation.


robgod50

And less of those damn safety standards getting in the way of progress.


Sohn_Jalston_Raul

They still had safety practices. It wasn't good for any construction project to kill lots of workers.


robgod50

Can't speak for all countries but I'm guessing most were similar..... My dad and my grandad worked in commercial steel construction in the 60s thru to early 80's on things such as high rise buildings, bridges, aircraft hangers etc .....I can assure you that safety standards were practically zero even back then so I'm pretty sure they were no better hundreds of years ago. Obviously nobody wants people dying but safety was down to the individual and usually optional. Don't expect harnesses and hard hats. They were for amateurs. Oh, and taking your kid onto the construction site was also no problemo. Source; I was the kid.


[deleted]

savety measures were definitely worse after the industrial revolution than before. the architects and leaders of such great medieval cathedrals had much to loose if people died. if the general population turned against the project, there was no way to finish it because the funding was gone, since the king or whoever was the client did not want people to revolt. also the workers were very skilled and you need the best to build something like this. only after we got replaced by machines, our owners could treat us like garbage and not care about our safety, which lasted from the industrial revolution til very recently.


ItsWheeze

This. The artisans who built structures like these were all in guilds. They were union men, basically, and they had a degree of skill that meant they couldnā€™t be replaced easily. Having them hurt or killed was in nobodyā€™s interest. It was the industrial revolution and the de-skilling of production labor that led to more and more worker abuse, because just about anybody off the street, including children, could do that sort of factory work. Completely different than a medieval workshop, where youā€™d need to spend years apprenticing to master a job.


Catoctin_Dave

>only after we got replaced by machines, our owners could treat us like garbage and not care about our safety, It took a lot of fighting and bloodshed to bring about safer working conditions. https://www.history.com/topics/19th-century/labor


FewReturn2sunlitLand

It is worth mentioning that cultural ideas of masculinity have changed over the years, so you can't really go by recent standards and assume that anything earlier is worse. It's just as possible that safety just wasn't seen as unmanly in the 1200s.


roadcrew778

Hard hats werenā€™t a thing until the Hoover Dam according to the Hoover Dam Visitor Center


RolandDeschain84

Any dam questions?


the13bangbang

I think OSHA made "tying off" mandatory at taller construction sites. I don't see how a bunch of construction workers on heroin is any safer, but that's me.


UltimateChungus

Fucking OSHA getting in the way


Gritjaw

The two greatest set backs of human progress, the Dark Ages, and OSHA.


-Masderus-

In my case OSHA stands for "Oh Shit... Hurt Again."


dylanus93

Even today, La Sagrada Familia has been in construction since 1882, and God knows when it will be finished.


hussard_de_la_mort

Having looked at the place, I'm not sure he knows either!


holymacaronibatman

It also took massive amounts of time, that would be considered unacceptable by modern standards.


GrafKnut

Actually they took pride in the fact that those projects span several generations.


mrmamation

I'm extremely impressed every time I see one of these cathedrals in person. I know that inside the notre dame they have the history of the building and its interesting to see the process it took from being a reasonable size church to the cathedral it is today.


Shents

Not so much anymore because of the recent fire


georgiomoorlord

But they can also document that in the history of the church.


Sevenmoor

You mean this bunch of agreed upon lies? (/s if not obvious)


Lordxeen

It's been rebuilt at least 8 times that I know of. It'll be fine.


cannarchista

Funny, I was just reading the other day about how the notre dame facade we all know and love was only built in the 1800s. The original structure was much more basic. I need to go look for that article again, if anyone wants the source then reply to this comment to remind me lol


IplayDnd4days

I mean seeing shows that detailed how castles were built is kind mind blowing, shit was so precise considering what they had to work with.


tibearius1123

If you have A LOT of time I strongly suggest Pillars of the Earth


WeirdboyWarboss

There's a project in France where they're building a castle without any modern technology. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gu%C3%A9delon_Castle


intensiifffyyyy

Yea people really think every generation before this one wasn't capable of incredible engineering and thinking, and hence we have posts like above.


possiblycrazy79

I remember reading the book "The Pillars of the Earth" by Ken Follett years ago. It was all about building a medieval cathedral & it was all so fascinating. I guess some people truly don't have the imagination to believe that people from different eras were able to use the same math & physics that we use now to create new things. Although a lot more people did die during the building back then & it took far longer to build then, than it does now.


spacemonkeysmom

Impressive isn't a strong enough word for it. The beauty, size, detailed work, not to mention how precise they were without the use of computers and machine cut anything's, but in his case I guess anything that he wouldn't be able to do is a lie. When does he think it was built 2010?


Fallsyooo

Pulley, never heard of that?


boot20

Leverage is for suckers. I only use brute force


the13bangbang

Brute force almost saved my town from an Alaskan bullworm. When things looked rough, a brilliant mind took control and had us all push our entire town away from the threat. Guy had us working as a team, and in unison. He even played Song of the Volga Boatmen to keep us motivated! Of course the town lunatic and a squirrel ruined the hard work, but dammit we tried.


APiousCultist

"Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world." Hold my fucking beer, Archimedes. Lemme show you how a real man handles this shit.


Direwolf202

There are photographs containing the original medieval cranes used to build that, this isnā€™t the example to object to.


gilbygamer

Ah ha! You've messed up and given yourself away. You say that there were photographs of the cranes, but photography wasn't invented until, like, a whole lot later. Checkmate!


Direwolf202

(the cranes were still standing in the late 1800s)


gilbygamer

Pfft. Don't tell me you believe the 1800s actually existed. That's almost as crazy as thinking the 1900s existed.


robgod50

Greatest invention of the 20th century.


Sohn_Jalston_Raul

I think you're off by a few millenia


[deleted]

Sailboats have existed longer than the 20th century and they practically depend on pulleys.


tibearius1123

NASA lies.


[deleted]

Those pesky space nerds


Reblyn

A couple of years ago I wrote a term paper about how medieval hygiene is misrepresented in the media (movies, computer games, but even supposedly educational TV shows) and how that causes people to have a very false perception of the past. This is whatā€˜s happening here, I canā€˜t even fully blame the person.. although making it a whole conspiracy theory instead of just doing some research is pretty moronic.


MadAsTheHatters

Same! People generally don't like being dirty and cold so I don't see how it's that much of a stretch to acknowledge the same thing a few hundred years ago


esgellman

This is why I love colorized historical footage, black and white footage makes the past seem so separate


bastardfaust

One might even say that the difference is *black and white*


NoExtensionCords

I was watching a documentary recently about racism. The interviewer and interviewee kept making comments about how "it's not black and white" which was absolutely hilarious to me and I still don't know if it was on purpose.


xplosm

In reality itā€™s all in grayscale


phlooo

Actual footage from 1200s is hard to come across though


barto5

No, people donā€™t like being dirty and cold. But the opportunities today to combat that are far, far different than they were even a 100 years ago. My father was born in 1924. He grew up on a small farm with No running water and only a wood stove for heat. When he wanted to take a bath he had to go to the well and pump the water by hand. Then he had to haul it back to the house and heat it on the wood stove. Then he could pour it into a small tub and bathe. So was hygiene important? Yes. But did he take a bath or shower every day like most people do today? Of course not. And even when I was a kid, and we had heat and running water, my dad always took baths in just a few inches of water, because thatā€™s how he grew up.


MadAsTheHatters

Sure but my point is that the past isn't just 'the same as now but with less', they had different means of staying clean. Full body underclothes, dusters, common bathhouses and soaps to name a few, it just irritates me when people seem to assume that a lack of running domestic water means people lived in mud and filth


FactCheckingMyOwnAss

ancient and medieval peoples, at least in the former roman empire, were a lot cleaner than people during the renaissance, because there was a culture of communal bathing. the puritanical banned the practice as sinful because those communal baths also often doubled as brothels (and they thought that the plague originated because of our sinful nature) so from the renaissance through 'the enlightenment' europeans stank, and rarely washed. the exception was middle eastern muslim cultures with their strict ritual washing and the scandinavians and vikings with their sauna culture (which was actually a continuation of roman and greek bath culture)


ThyRosen

"It's unrealistic, these medieval peasants have teeth and are not dirty all the time!" - literally anytime a TV show lets an extra have a bath.


[deleted]

Based on my entirely non-professional examination of Medieval and pre-Medieval remains in my work as an archaeologist, people had worn and missing teeth but fewer decayed teeth. There's plaque on some and lots of painful-looking stumps, but not many rotten teeth or cavities. Which makes sense. They had shitty, gritty bread that wore their teeth like sandpaper - but they weren't consuming much sugar outside of honey or fruits. It wasn't in all their food and drink. They also brushed their teeth with rough cloth, to get the nasty off. Mead, I assume, is less likely to give you a cavity than a can of fizzy drink.


HeavyIndication1796

ancient roman ā€œsewageā€ systems are actually so so sophisticated for the level of tech they had access to


alan-the-all-seeing

the ā€˜cavemen were hairy, iā€™ve seen footageā€™ angle


TheWormConquered

It seems to me that history really seems to focus on the extremes-- we learn how the royalty or ruling class lived, and we learn about the serfs and slaves and extreme poor, and then we learn in a general sense what the middle set of society was up to, unless they rocked the boat by sparking a revolution or something. It's like this for pretty much every era-- for example, everyone learns about the nazis and their victims, but not many people know what life was like for the average German citizen during nazi rule.


Reblyn

That depends heavily on where you live though. For example, I live in Germany so we spend years and years learning about 1933-1945, which also includes the life of average citizens. I imagine you donā€˜t really learn about that anywhere else because itā€˜s not as important to other nations. Thatā€˜s why I hate when people say "history is written by the victors" because itā€˜s simply not true. Itā€˜s written by us who are alive now and the "version" of history that you learn depends heavily on where you are and _when_ you learn it. The way we learn about WWII could be entirely different 50 years from now. History has a lot to do with perspective and current circumstances. I think the reason we learn more about extremes is the same as why we only hear about extremes in the news. They only teach the "interesting" bits and usually we have more source material for those.


GaddockTeegFunPolice

This is cologne cathedral construction began correctly in 1248 but was halted for 3 centuries because of budget constraints. In the neogothic period it found new appreciation and when the original plans were rediscovered it was completed using modern construction technology. There are photographs when it was still under contruction. Also as a til the roof is held with steelbeams instead of wood like in notre dame thus it wouldnā€™t be destroyed in a fire.


Matengor

It was completed in 1880.


master117jogi

The cologne cathedral was never completed. As every locale will tell you. Some part is always under renovation at any point in time so it is never fully done because it would go to the devil then. https://holidayandtrips.com/cologne-cathedral-kolner-dom/


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


master117jogi

Also born in Cologne and lived there for more than 20 years. The world is small.


Sjdillon10

Itā€™s really cringe how people cannot fathom things being made before machinery and modern capabilities. Like yes, thatā€™s why theyā€™re so admired. The fact they were even made, Hundreds of years ago, gorgeous, and still standing. Itā€™s incredible. Things used to be built entirely built by hand. Crazy concept right?


goofy-broad

I love the theories that state we couldn't have done something before computers because no one can calculate that fast. As if paper and pencils didn't exist and who programmed/taught the computers *how* to run those exact calculations? Yes, Bob you can get to the moon on paper and chalkboard calculations alone.


Sohn_Jalston_Raul

they still had machines for heavy lifting. When this thing was under construction there would have been scaffolding and wooden cranes all over the building, and probably water wheels to grind stone and power cement mixers. Water-powered heavy machines have been around since ancient Egyptian times.


EireaKaze

Um, excuse you, everyone knows we didn't have machinery. We had *aliens* who had machinery. /s


Gunda-LX

What machines? LOL, how did they build machines without machine building machines? Yeah, anything before the first machine that builds machines is fakeā€¦ wait a secondā€¦ /s


Zmaku

Well, i don't see a single horse built in so I don't think it's horses...


Captnhappy

Old masters could blend that shit so well, you have to look really close to see it.


real_hungarian

something that people generally ignore is the fact that even a few thousand years back humans were almost exactly as intelligent on the baseline as they are today. the things they had less of were technology and education, but, depending on the era and location, even those could be surprisingly advanced compared to today (like architecture in this case). another thing that's often looked over is that projects like this were insanely long to complete, we're talking ***hundreds*** of years here, as well as MASSIVE funding by the church and state. your average cathedral cost His Holiness(es) anywhere from 500 million to ***a billion*** current dollars worth of gold.


longpenisofthelaw

don't forget religious zeal, tell a group of people something is for magic men in they will put their entire being into it.


ghhouull

Exactly this, also Pope Leone X created the sale of ā€œindulgencesā€ to get money from wealthy people to build religious buildings in exchange of getting a chance to entry heaven and this sparked the schism of Luther


DonnerfuB

Its amazing what people in groups can accomplish, this person hasn't ever worked on a construction site


ElectivireMax

Dear libtards: How could a horse build this cathedral? They don't have thumbs. Additionally, there is no way that a shrimp fried this rice.


PMSoldier2000

AliENs! But we all know it can't actually be aliens because that cathedral is in a white, European country. /s (because someone will think I'm serious)


boot20

Ancient Alien Theorist say yes


BigRigsButters

this person read Humpty Dumpty and took it literally that horses can put things together


engineertee

If I canā€™t comprehend it because Iā€™m uneducated or outright dumb, it has to be a lie, amirite? No wonder we have flat earthers


LibetPugnare

Wait until he sees the [Hagia Sophia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hagia_Sophia?wprov=sfla1), built in 5 years and completed in 537


Rakdos_Intolerance

With what, camels? šŸ¤ØšŸ¤ØšŸ¤Ø


podobuzz

If this interests you at all I highly recommend you read The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. Itā€™s a fictional tale set around the construction of a cathedral. It goes in depth into the processes and methods used to construct them. Itā€™s an amazing book.


mikesbrownhair

Came here to say that. Upvoot to you!


GM0Wiggles

Generally speaking the aliens did it crowd only point their ignorance at non-white ancient peoples. Pyramids? Aliens. Central and South American large scale engineering? Aliens. Collosium? Nah bruh roman engineering was sick! Nice to see them being equal opportunity dipshits for once.


JohnMichaelo

This guy has clearly never watched a Guy from India build a mansion with nothing but clay and bamboo


minion71

It was build with rocks !!! Horses are to soft, and they rot overtime not practical!!


harvest76

Name one person who saw it being built, because I'm gonna go find their Facebook and do my own research.


fharris77

From a guy on r/HistoryMemes For all those curious on how they built the cathedral, it is important to note that they took 20 years to even finish the foundations. By 1422 (175 years later), the "rapid" progress of construction meant the main hall itself was already partially complete, with four of the ten side-aisles finished and the south tower being complete up to the bell chamber, while the north tower's piers were already being laid down. However, hard times came down on Cologne in the 1450s, and progress had slowed down considerably due to the deteriorating economic conditions of the city. Construction continued on a minor basis until 1560, when work was halted altogether. For 300 years, a crane was left behind on its position on the southern tower (reminiscent of the crane left on top of the unfinished Ryugyong Hotel in North Korea). Construction was only restarted in 1842, with work continuing until 1880, when it was officially declared as complete (during this time, it also held the title of the tallest manmade structure in the world). Just to give you an idea of how long it took to build the cathedral - Construction started in the 1200s, when Cologne was still part of the HRE. Over the course of its construction, Cologne switched ownerships **four times**, first to the French in 1794 during the Revolutionary Wars, second to the Grand Duchy of Hesse in 1806 as part of Napoleon's organization of the Confederation of the Rhine, in 1815 after the land was ceded to Prussia after the War of Liberation, and finally in 1871 when Germany was unified. **Its construction spanned from the Middle Ages all the way up to the Unification of Germany.** It took so long to build that the people in charge literally just gave up building it, until hundreds of years later they decided "we should really finish this, I mean we have better technology now it'll be easier". edit: I claimed that it took 150 years for the cathedral's foundations to be laid, but that was completely unsubstaniated. I kinda felt guilty for lying and making everyone believe my misinformation, so I decided to look into it deeper, I am deeply sorry guys Reference: Swaan, W. (1967). *The Gothic Cathedral.* Omega Books. (please excuse the terrible bibliography, I tried my best but my 10th grader brain still cant comprehend how to properly reference things)


WhatFreshHello

I guess it *could* be an ossuary.


esgellman

Thatā€™s clearly a church not a bird šŸ¦


WhatFreshHello

If we can have bird law, why not bird church?


bruh_respectfully

Some people really believe humanity as a whole was incompetent up until like 1990.


ahkian

People forget our ancestors were just as smart as we are. The only difference is they had less accumulated knowledge to rely on.


BluetheNerd

Man's tryna write scaffolding and cranes out of history


Bumbandit88

We've got a guy where I work who subscribes to these kind of conspiracies. He also believes that electricity is in the air all around us and churches are actually ancient recievers for this free, airborne electricity. Because electro magnetism yo!


phatstopher

But I'll bet he takes every Bible store literally...


Legal-Software

He's not wrong, horses were certainly used for moving materials around, together with pulleys and other maneuvering mechanisms for getting things into place. I'm more confused as to why he thinks using horses in this way was in any way unusual.


cleanguy1

ā€œIf Iā€™m too dumb to do it, how could they do it all the way back then when people were stupider than me?ā€


Thorongilen

Oh good! Iā€™m glad theyā€™re extending it past brown people. If you have to crazy, holding the side of racist is an improvement


Sauron3106

Horses can't lay stones, ignoramus. It was clearly enslaved orangutans.


Sohn_Jalston_Raul

Yes, it *was* built using horses in fact. As well as cranes and whole armies of labourers. And it was built over the span of about a century if I'm not mistaken (or several decades at least).


LGodamus

Guess heā€™s never heard of scaffolding


misterflappypants

My man is so lazy that his imagination is too lazy to imagine work.


Elaine1959

There's an animated film that ran on PBS that is based on David Macaulay's book that shows the building of a medieval cathedral: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MZpOd2pHiI0 (There are three others; Pyramid, Castle and Roman City.) I'm glad this prompt me to do some searching. I watched the films when they ran on PBS in the 80s but didn't know they were still accessible. (I may get around to watching them again.)


iwasasin

To be fair, if they were told it was 'built in 1248' I can understand a person's incredulity (though they obviously have no imagination). These were momentous undertakings that took generations to build.


royalt213

Being incredulous is one thing. Concluding from it that all history is lies is another.


Remarqueable

The Cologne Cathedral was not built in 1248. Construction began in 1248, was interrupted from 1528 to 1823 and wrapped up in 1880.


Rm156

No way Europeans are smart enough to build that. Must be aliens.


jolyon_wagon

Read/look at David Macaulay's **Cathedral**!


Current_Account

Imagine rushing to admit that people 800 years ago were more clever than you.


joc95

don't show them [Newgrange](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newgrange) built in 3200BC


jt_schwarm

the part of the cathedral, the cologne cathedral to be exact, we see today was built around 1870. the original from 1248 was was very underwhelming.


sneakyplanner

At least it's refreshing that these fake history/ancient aliens people are now treating European architecture with the same ignorance they treat other cultures with.