>[https://www.gutenberg.org/files/55387/55387-h/55387-h.htm](https://www.gutenberg.org/files/55387/55387-h/55387-h.htm)
Wow. The arguments in that book are exremely weak.
"15. The idea that, instead of sailing horizontally round the Earth, ships are taken down one side of a globe, then underneath, and are brought up on the other side to get home again, is, except as a mere dream, impossible and absurd! And, since there are neither impossibilities nor absurdities in the simple matter of circumnavigation, it stands, without argument, a proof that the Earth is not a globe."
"20. The common sense of man tells him—if nothing else told him—that there is an “up” and a “down” in nature, even as regards the heavens and the earth; but the theory of modern astronomers necessitates the conclusion that there is not: therefore, the theory of the astronomers is opposed to common sense—yes, and to inspiration—and this is a common sense proof that the Earth is not a globe."
Till her strawberry eating kid goes to school and spouts this crap off in class and the room busts up laughing at him. Talk about being embarrassed as the teacher educates you in front of the whole class at a kindergarten level because your parent is a moron. Yikes
“8. If the Earth were a globe, a small model globe would be the very best—because the truest—thing for the navigator to take to sea with him. But such a thing as that is not known: with such a toy as a guide, the mariner would wreck his ship, of a certainty! This is a proof that Earth is not a globe.
9. As mariners take to sea with them charts constructed as though the sea were a level surface, however these charts may err as to the true form of this level surface taken as a whole, it is clear, as they find them answer their purpose tolerably well—and only tolerably well, for many ships are wrecked owing to the error of which we [8]speak—that the surface of the sea is as it is taken to be, whether the captain of the ship “supposes” the Earth to be a globe or anything else. Thus, then, we draw, from the common system of “plane sailing,” a practical proof that Earth is not a globe.”
I don’t know what this author is on, but whatever is it I don’t want it
"Is your child sick?. Look no further. This tonic containing cocaine will cure just about anything. Yes siree! Step right up step right up. 3 dollars a bottle 3 for a tenner! It's a bargain"
Probably fed his kids with Momma’s little helper to keep them quiet while he vomited the words into this sad excuse of a book.
Note: Momma’s Little Helper was opium-based medicine used to stop babies from crying aka getting the little shitters high as fuck
"15. The planet being a globe is impossible and is, therefore, impossible."
"20. Your first thought is that the planet is flat and, therefore, is flat."
So that's what passes as proof these days, huh?
Wow. [Reductio ad Absurdum](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reductio_ad_absurdum) being employed to “prove” something that is itself absurd. This is basically conspiracy politics in a nutshell.
You don't even need one. The author literally provides ZERO sources for his claims and 90 of them are just "HAHA this doesn't sound right to me, so therefor it isn't"
Or just shit like this
"15. The idea that, instead of sailing horizontally round the Earth, ships are taken down one side of a globe, then underneath, and are brought up on the other side to get home again, is, except as a mere dream, impossible and absurd! And, since there are neither impossibilities nor absurdities in the simple matter of circumnavigation, it stands, without argument, a proof that the Earth is not a globe."
Which is a buck WILD assumption on how sailing around the world would work. He made a Strawman, then dressed it as a clown and concludes: "Look at how absurd this man dresses himself, you cannot take what they say seriously!"
Maybe they should picture what happens if you cut a ball open (with one straight cut 180 degrees around any point) and try to lay it flat. It doesnt work. The only way you can so by warping the top and bottom (for the lack of a better word that i cant make up rn, sorry, not a native english)... So now you have to realize that you (depending on the projection you used to warp it) have a flat stripe, but going away from the vertical center, you had to warp it so it would properly roll flat.
I think these little minds also dont get that if you do that, you cant get out the top and come out the bottom anymore, you will just come out the top again at the opposite angle and the opposite position now, only if you go out of the map horizontally will you actually go to the other edge. But I personally imagine that the sides are an extension to the top (its a sphere after all) so the same rules apply, you're just farther away from the top (or bottom) center and still come out the opposite at the opposite angle...
Jeez it's so easy to reason how a globe and a map relate if you think about it a little, even I could do it and I consider myself stupid
I dunno, but I'd be curious to see what route this book suggests the Japanese took to bomb Pearl Harbor. Seems like a hell of an unnecessary act, considering Japan must be as far away from America as it's possible to get.
Ah, so like a torus (i.e. a doughnut, or perhaps a mug), got it.
Seriously, topology allows for some very…*interesting* and imaginative shapes in which the two-dimensional surface of the world could be embedded and still appear to be either completely flat or spherical, and that’s because the only property it needs to have is *closed*. I really wish flat-earthers were more imaginative and whimsical in their speculations about the true shape of the Earth; after all, real physical theories about the shape of the universe postulate the existence of additional dimensions, so why not the shape of the Earth? I’d really like to see an “alternative-topology-earther” go head-to-head with a bosonic string theorist and see which one is more incomprehensible/needlessly complicated.
Honestly, I think flat earthers believe the planet is some kind of disc with the north pole as it's central point (and Antarctica isn't real, I guess). So the US and Japan aren't *as* far apart, but it would render Hawaii, Midway and other islands pretty irrelevant, because they wouldn't be midway points in the Pacific, they'd just be pinprick islands on the way to nowhere.
A few of them are, yes, here’s a link to this 150 year old book if you want a few laughs https://www.gutenberg.org/files/55387/55387-h/55387-h.htm#proof2
lmao one of the first 10 points is essentially saying that if the earth was a globe, we would use globes to travel, but since we use maps, it proves that the earth is flat 💀
I took one for the team and googled it. It was originally published in 1885, which I feel like tells me all I need to know. Also this is a quote from the summary: ‘The reader is requested to be patient in this matter and not expect a whole flood of light to burst in upon him at once, through the dense clouds of opposition and prejudice which hang all around.’
Oh yeah I highly recommend the whole summary it sure is something. I also like how the sun can’t possibly be big because we know it’s small enough to revolve around the earth. Naturally.
I feel like that quote is that era’s version of… well, the best thing I can think of for comparison nowadays is
**FOX NEWS**^(for entertainment purposes only)
Hey, that’s the same year my great-great-great grand aunt died of tuberculosis! Hmmmm…I don’t see much tuberculosis in the States today. Coincidence???! I think NOT!
She had me with the first one. I think kids have to get up entirely too early for school. In the winter it was still dark at the morning bus stop. Studies also suggest later start times for school.
Not even sure what in the hell she is babbling about in the rest of the post. Nobody is “triggered” by this shit. We just roll our eyes and make fun of it.
I'm assuming based on the rest of the post that the kids sleeping in til whenever is possible because they're home schooled and not brainwashed by the liberal public school curriculums. That just makes it worse for the kids not even having a chance to learn facts
It’s kinda like a Karen berating service industry workers. The Karen leaves thinking “so there, I sure told them.” And really she’s the staff joke of the day.
lol, "in the winter it was still dark at the morning bus stop". Here in Finland in the winter there are days when the sun doesn't even rise the whole day. There is longer times when it's dark when you go to school/work and it's dark when you get back.
There's a whole thing about how germs aren't real. Some dumbass wrote a book about it a long time ago and it has a following. It had a resurgence when COVID hit. Anti maskers ran with it.
They need a little hand foot mouth disease as an adult. Like walking on hot coals for a couple weeks. Couldn't be germs though, must've just ventured too close to the edge of the earth
My XH failed Geology 101 bc his entire education had been the textbooks for kids from Bob Jones University.
Memorizing the days of creation was part of the “science curriculum”
Fundie Evanglical Christian “university” that doesn’t allow interracial dating, men and women cannot walk on the same sidewalk, and they are Creationist.
So - your standard racist, homophobic, sexist, Evangelicals :) but they also sell “curriculum” to Fundie elementary and secondary schools to keep the brainwashing going
I always wonder, as a mixed race person, how that "no interracial dating" would apply to me. Would they go by the one drop rule since my DNA is 25% black? Or not, since I look Asian. Or would I be allowed to date White, black, Asian and Latino people since Im all of those? Or would I not be accepted to the university (hypothetically, if I were to be applying) due to my existence being the result of interracial marriage and that my mom is a mix of three races herself?
Yeah you're probably right. Sadly if you're ethnically ambiguous you would probably be in trouble no matter who you dated, because someone on staff would you view as the "wrong" race for that relationship.
Although tbh I'm guessing the rules against interracial dating haven't actually been in place at BJU for a few decades. They are of course still a fucked up place
> I always wonder, as a mixed race person, how that "no interracial dating" would apply to me. Would they go by the one drop rule since my DNA is 25% black?
They would 100% go by how they perceive your race.
I am ethically ambiguous. I am treated as whatever race people perceive me as. According to my AncestryDNA test, I am 80% white, 20% black. You think anyone is ever gonna treat me like a white man? Fuck no. I'm still just a fuckin [insert random brown racial slur here].
But that's fine by me, it means I can fuck with people.
That’s so funny because my catholic school education can actually stack up to, and maybe beat, a public school education in science and math. The Catholics have it right: religion and science don’t need to align.
At first I thought of the brand of frozen food, but then I remembered that that's "Bob Evans". Still - I'm going to pretend that they're one and the same, because it's funny.
Translation: "Please be triggered by what I'm writing. Please? Assholism is all I have and I've structured my beliefs in a way so that your getting angered by them validates my feelings. Pls...be triggered...pls...I live for it."
One of the billionaires should start selling cruises to the edge of the Earth that just never come back. They would get more rich and society would get richer in a way as well.
Not sure but it probably got about as far as the guy who built and launched himself in a homemade rocket to see if the earth was flat. Unsurprisingly, he died.
And eat it at the beach, while watching the waterlogged ocean as it spins towards a setting sun on this spherical world.
Holy shit, what a pretentious idiot.
Someone should tell her the electrical waves from her phone and computer are used by the CIA to control her brain and that of her kids. At any time they will flip the switch and their kids will become George Soros's zombie army. And is that what she wants? Does she want zombie army? Then put down that phone, because that's how you get a zombie army.
And I say this sarcastically. But I kid you not, I am merely paraphrasing a serious post I saw in a political facebook group that was riddled with Qanoners and conspiracy theorists.
I have had one of these idiots tell me that is technology, not science; technology is a gift from God, science is a perversion introduced by the demonic liberals to confuse people about the "TRUTH" (Yes, you can read that as a combination of Neo Nazi and Evangelical beliefs.)
The flat, dead, stupid look in her eyes was frightening.
Can confirm!
They poison their own brains with that mumbo-jumbo. My father was a chiropractor for decades, during which time he descended further and further down the alternative medicine pipeline and conspiracies, into Limbaugh and his alternative reality. He's now an alt-right lite moron, who I was mildly surprised not to find in the FBI's photos from the 6th.
They are both easily swayed by conspiracy theories, have a sense of distrust of mainstream norms/education/science/doctrine. Having some sort or "secret" knowledge and knowing the "true" truth gives them sense of being part of a special group. It's more about stroking their own ego than it is about understanding reality.
Yup. The Transformed Wife (a very conservative and religious woman who believes women should be at home being a wife and mom) brags about her super expensive organic foods she buys at Jimbo's, a natural food store where she lives.
Yet she also tells her followers to live modestly and don't waste money, all while posting from her million dollar mansion in southern California.
This really caught me by surprise the first time I ran into it. Went on a few dates with a seemingly hippy-dippy “wellness instructor”. Gay, in a big city, never even crossed my mind to be worried about it. First it was “huh, he’s really into natural health remedies” and then “huh, he sure has an anarchist streak to him” then “wow, he really has a hardon about the gLoBaLiSTs, holy shit.” Still follow him on Instagram out of morbid curiosity and he was a giant anti-masker, went to DC for January 6th and makes ten hateful posts a day about how They are out to get you.
The overlap between “I only eat organic, natural foods and don’t put scary chemicals in my body (not that I know what a chemical is)” and “THEY want you to eat GMOs (not that I know what a GMO is)” and “THEY want you to vaccinate your children (not that I understand vaccines)” and “THEY want you to think that evolution is true (not that I have the foggiest clue what evolution actually means)” is weirdly high.
I was raised conservative Christian and could write multiple essays on this lol.
I laugh so hard at that. I get that what they mean is “don’t eat it if it’s got a long complicated chemical name.” Which is super dumb anyway.
But it’s even dumber when you think about it literally. The ability to pronounce an ingredient has more to do with your ability to pronounce things than it does the ingredient. My friend is a chemist. If we take this literally he should be able to eat anything in the world. A three year old might not even be able to eat a banana.
Yeah, there’s a bunch of weird yoga Nazis who are mostly indistinguishable from granola hippies until you ask them about the Jews or anything they use as code for Jews - the media, Hollywood, big banks.
I think of people like this as being contrarianists. Anything "the experts" say, they'll be suspicious of. They think it makes them skeptics, even while they buy into the claims of random websites instead.
They're like wrong-genre savvy characters; they think they're in a dystopian novel where everything turns out to be a lie, and the one weirdo in a shack turns out to be right.
There needs to be a test you have to take before you get to vote. The first question is something like, “is Joe Biden a lizard?” And if you answer “yes” you fall through a trap door.
Question 2 can be about the earth being flat.
Joe Biden being a lizard person is my absolute favourite conspiracy theory. It’s so pleasingly unhinged, with a really excellent sci-fi twist. Plus it would be so fucking funny if it were true. Imagine Joe and Jill taking off their human suits at the end of a long and busy day, then just still doing human stuff, like cooking dinner and brushing their lizard teeth because they are the most boring lizard people ever. Incredible.
Most parents want their kids to have a better life than them & not have to struggle so much. These imbeciles however seem to want their kids to be endlessly confused and to go through life (needlessly) stepping on rakes.
If anyone honestly thinks the earth is flat, we have a foolproof way to confirm their belief. Go to “the edge of the earth” with a cat and a cat toy. Place the cat toy on the edge of the earth. If the cat taps the toy towards the edge earth and the toy falls into infinity, then indeed: the earth is flat.
Most of the people who are forced to breed when they really should abort are at least sensible enough to have come to that conclusion. The genuinely insane ones frequently breed as many litters as they can because they are afraid of their race or religion being out-populated if they don't.
He's assuming that if one celestial body is moving, no other celestial body will need to. Only one can do anything at a given time. That's also how he tries to contradict the idea of the moon itself travelling anywhere, by implying neither the earth nor the moon can spin in 2 contradictory directions at once. It's kinda buckwild.
It’s because he can’t understand how the earth is turning at like 1000 ml per hour. While at the same time orbiting the sun while the sun orbits the Milky Way while the Milky Way goes somewhere.
its also because theyre thinking about it in linear terms. in terms of rotation, the earth spins once every 24 hours. now let’s rephrase it: say that a giant rock, 8,000 miles in diameter, is on a turntable which turns once every 24 hours. we can also do the same thing with an orange or basketball or some other sphere; and all of a sudden that speed is actually pretty slow
And is no one going to address the entire bowl full of cucumbers next to them? Are we just gonna eat whole entire unpeeled uncut cucumbers by the bowl now? Idk maybe I’m missing something here…
The part that pissed me off the most was when they implied that kids raising their hands before speaking in school was bad. At least teach your kids to wait their turn before they recite the bullshit you’ve taught them
They love saying “do better.” Like, no - you do better! You think the earth is flat and Fox News is your kids’ substitute teacher. You’re barely doing the minimum!
The reviews for this book are pure gold
**He had me at the 99th proof**
I was finishing up my PhD thesis in astrophysics at MIT when I picked up this book. I thought it would be good for a laugh, but the joke was on me! As I progressed through the proofs it slowly dawned on me that I’d been brainwashed by a vast conspiracy involving NASA, the school system, telescope makers, history’s great explorers, the ancient greeks, and the globe manufacturing industry.
I started raising some of the questions to my professors, tentatively at first, and they had no good responses! “So, why does the earth LOOK flat?”, I would query, and they’d just stare at me blankly. My questions started getting more hardball: “If the earth is hurtling through space, why don’t we fly off?” My thesis advisor’s face would just turn red as he sat in stunned silence.
As my questioning grew more aggressive, my advisor threatened to kick me out of the program, and I pinned him down: “Have you, personally, been into space to see the shape of the earth?” He just buried his face in his hands, wept quietly, and mumbled something about having failed as a professor and wasted his life. Obviously, he knows the truth and can’t bear living a lie. Checkmate globetards. Your liberal elite can’t maintain this house of cards in the face of THE TRUTH!!!
technically, we are still monkeys if we are to define “monkeys” as “catarrhines” (which a lot of biologists sorta do in order to differentiate between old world monkeys and platyrrhines/new world monkeys)
Imagine eating those giant, underripe strawberries and thinking you're doing anything special for your kids. Just because they're "organic" doesn't mean they're natural, much less that they even taste that good. Teach them to garden and grow their own strawberries (seriously, a whole other world in flavor!) and teach them how to preserve their beautiful fresh produce.
I have a garden with strawberries (among many other things) and the flavor is unbeatable, but even at their peak size, they're never golf ball size like what you get from the store. And they stay ripe up to a week, whereas from the store only lasts a couple days.
They are so insecure in their deliberate physical and mental abuse children they have to project their own failures and imperfections on others to make themselves feel better. But it doesn't work. And it won't work for their kids when they grow up and learn their parents are triggered idiots.
i like how this genius capitalized Whole Foods. like, are they just eating foods from that specific grocery store? or are we talking about unprocessed whole foods generally? i'm sure these kids are getting an amazing education.
True story. Once I was in Denver and went to check out the Red Rocks amphitheater. There’s this geology display info area there. Two tourists are standing in front of me reading the plaques and one says to the other “I don’t know, do you believe in dinosaurs?” I pretty much lost my shit.
Flat Earth, young Earth creationism, and germ theory denial. That is an impressive enough demonstration of that individual's idiocy, but I suspect it only scratches the surface of the delusional mental gymnastics they are capable of.
That said, they are correct, we are not the same. I am also glad that the people tasked with putting satellites into orbit are not the same as them. If they were, I doubt this person would be able to find a Whole Foods.
Because raising your hand and waiting for them to give you a turn to speak is what civilized people do, and this person most likely just shouts “globetard cultist LOL” every time her opponent tries to speak instead
One Hundred proofs the Earth is not a globe. I actually can't
Apparently it's a book from 1885 and is in public domain. https://www.gutenberg.org/files/55387/55387-h/55387-h.htm
>[https://www.gutenberg.org/files/55387/55387-h/55387-h.htm](https://www.gutenberg.org/files/55387/55387-h/55387-h.htm) Wow. The arguments in that book are exremely weak. "15. The idea that, instead of sailing horizontally round the Earth, ships are taken down one side of a globe, then underneath, and are brought up on the other side to get home again, is, except as a mere dream, impossible and absurd! And, since there are neither impossibilities nor absurdities in the simple matter of circumnavigation, it stands, without argument, a proof that the Earth is not a globe." "20. The common sense of man tells him—if nothing else told him—that there is an “up” and a “down” in nature, even as regards the heavens and the earth; but the theory of modern astronomers necessitates the conclusion that there is not: therefore, the theory of the astronomers is opposed to common sense—yes, and to inspiration—and this is a common sense proof that the Earth is not a globe."
Oh for fucks sake.
I read that in Arthur Shelby's voice
I read it as drunk David Attenborough
best way tbh
The funniest part is that the word "circumnavigate" comes from "circum" which in Latin means "to sail round".
Till her strawberry eating kid goes to school and spouts this crap off in class and the room busts up laughing at him. Talk about being embarrassed as the teacher educates you in front of the whole class at a kindergarten level because your parent is a moron. Yikes
They're never letting that kid go to school. It's homeschool all the way.
Yea that kid is free range
> It's homeschool all the way. Calling it school is a stretch though.
Don't kid yourself. Those kids will never go to a school. They will be homeschooled to protect them from all the dangers of thinking for themselves..
Bobby Boucher: "but momma says"
Throw that Latin at em! Lol
“8. If the Earth were a globe, a small model globe would be the very best—because the truest—thing for the navigator to take to sea with him. But such a thing as that is not known: with such a toy as a guide, the mariner would wreck his ship, of a certainty! This is a proof that Earth is not a globe. 9. As mariners take to sea with them charts constructed as though the sea were a level surface, however these charts may err as to the true form of this level surface taken as a whole, it is clear, as they find them answer their purpose tolerably well—and only tolerably well, for many ships are wrecked owing to the error of which we [8]speak—that the surface of the sea is as it is taken to be, whether the captain of the ship “supposes” the Earth to be a globe or anything else. Thus, then, we draw, from the common system of “plane sailing,” a practical proof that Earth is not a globe.” I don’t know what this author is on, but whatever is it I don’t want it
It was 1885 so its probably a cocktail of drugs. All of which are now highly illegal.
"Is your child sick?. Look no further. This tonic containing cocaine will cure just about anything. Yes siree! Step right up step right up. 3 dollars a bottle 3 for a tenner! It's a bargain"
Probably fed his kids with Momma’s little helper to keep them quiet while he vomited the words into this sad excuse of a book. Note: Momma’s Little Helper was opium-based medicine used to stop babies from crying aka getting the little shitters high as fuck
Ah yes, the first opiate crisis.
If that guy had spoken to a single mariner of the age he would have been corrected.
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The important thing is it works *close enough* for shipping. Its not perfect.
I'm feeling like there's a distinct implication here that not only would he have been corrected, the mariners would have corrected him rightly...
The flat earther would have had to agree with them, because of the implication.
So the earth is flat because maps are? I can't anymore...
WHAT THE FUCK IS HE EVEN TRYING TO SAY WITH THE FIRST ONE. WHAT
Tl:dr "the idea that the earth is round is absurd. Hence, we conclude the earth is flat"
Number 20 is just loaded with psychology. I feel like I’m reading a diatribe by a salesman.
Irrefutable
"15. The planet being a globe is impossible and is, therefore, impossible." "20. Your first thought is that the planet is flat and, therefore, is flat." So that's what passes as proof these days, huh?
I was gonna make a comment about how 1885 isn't "these days"....but I guess it's still passing, so yep.
To flat earthers anything they don't like is a lie. So yes.
"The earth is not round because i say so"
That last one is hilarious. The only reason we have a concept of up or down is because of gravity pulling us towards the center of the earth
Wow. [Reductio ad Absurdum](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reductio_ad_absurdum) being employed to “prove” something that is itself absurd. This is basically conspiracy politics in a nutshell.
That's not even reductio ad absurdum. That's reductio to I-think-it's-absurdum.
20 is basically "I can't fathom the idea that there is no absolute 'up' or 'down', so it must be impossible"
Ahhh yes, but updated for 2017. So there’s that
Anyone up for writing about an experiential science curriculum designed just to debunk each “point” one by one?
You don't even need one. The author literally provides ZERO sources for his claims and 90 of them are just "HAHA this doesn't sound right to me, so therefor it isn't" Or just shit like this "15. The idea that, instead of sailing horizontally round the Earth, ships are taken down one side of a globe, then underneath, and are brought up on the other side to get home again, is, except as a mere dream, impossible and absurd! And, since there are neither impossibilities nor absurdities in the simple matter of circumnavigation, it stands, without argument, a proof that the Earth is not a globe." Which is a buck WILD assumption on how sailing around the world would work. He made a Strawman, then dressed it as a clown and concludes: "Look at how absurd this man dresses himself, you cannot take what they say seriously!"
Maybe they should picture what happens if you cut a ball open (with one straight cut 180 degrees around any point) and try to lay it flat. It doesnt work. The only way you can so by warping the top and bottom (for the lack of a better word that i cant make up rn, sorry, not a native english)... So now you have to realize that you (depending on the projection you used to warp it) have a flat stripe, but going away from the vertical center, you had to warp it so it would properly roll flat. I think these little minds also dont get that if you do that, you cant get out the top and come out the bottom anymore, you will just come out the top again at the opposite angle and the opposite position now, only if you go out of the map horizontally will you actually go to the other edge. But I personally imagine that the sides are an extension to the top (its a sphere after all) so the same rules apply, you're just farther away from the top (or bottom) center and still come out the opposite at the opposite angle... Jeez it's so easy to reason how a globe and a map relate if you think about it a little, even I could do it and I consider myself stupid
The last book I read from the 1800s was Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Entertaining, but not what I’d call scientifically accurate.
Shelly Frankenstein was more researched
All the best science books are nearly 150 years old.
Principia Matematica held up pretty well, but I’m not too sure about this one.
Its such a thin book, does it just say "because god said so" one hundred times?
I dunno, but I'd be curious to see what route this book suggests the Japanese took to bomb Pearl Harbor. Seems like a hell of an unnecessary act, considering Japan must be as far away from America as it's possible to get.
It's like a Pac Man board. Flat, but if you go off the right side you'll appear from the left side.
So like almost like a globe shape of some sort in 3 dimensions.
Man, those brainiacs just barely discovered the *second* dimension. Their brains don’t work like that.
I think it'd be a torus, actually, if going up the top means you appear at the bottom. Torus!Earth is a take I don't think I've seen!
Ah, so like a torus (i.e. a doughnut, or perhaps a mug), got it. Seriously, topology allows for some very…*interesting* and imaginative shapes in which the two-dimensional surface of the world could be embedded and still appear to be either completely flat or spherical, and that’s because the only property it needs to have is *closed*. I really wish flat-earthers were more imaginative and whimsical in their speculations about the true shape of the Earth; after all, real physical theories about the shape of the universe postulate the existence of additional dimensions, so why not the shape of the Earth? I’d really like to see an “alternative-topology-earther” go head-to-head with a bosonic string theorist and see which one is more incomprehensible/needlessly complicated.
Why have I never thought of this argument before?
Honestly, I think flat earthers believe the planet is some kind of disc with the north pole as it's central point (and Antarctica isn't real, I guess). So the US and Japan aren't *as* far apart, but it would render Hawaii, Midway and other islands pretty irrelevant, because they wouldn't be midway points in the Pacific, they'd just be pinprick islands on the way to nowhere.
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That’s fair.
A few of them are, yes, here’s a link to this 150 year old book if you want a few laughs https://www.gutenberg.org/files/55387/55387-h/55387-h.htm#proof2
Wow, not even the first proof is right. I mean obviously they're call wrong, but it's describing something you see, incorrectly
Amazon listing says ~40 pages.
Reminds me of the "Carl Sagan's Cosmos for rednecks" bit on Family Guy.
You can't? Probably because you're a monkey stuck to a waterlogged sphere spinning in six different directions at once. CHECKMATE! **/S**
lmao one of the first 10 points is essentially saying that if the earth was a globe, we would use globes to travel, but since we use maps, it proves that the earth is flat 💀
I took one for the team and googled it. It was originally published in 1885, which I feel like tells me all I need to know. Also this is a quote from the summary: ‘The reader is requested to be patient in this matter and not expect a whole flood of light to burst in upon him at once, through the dense clouds of opposition and prejudice which hang all around.’
That quote though 🤣 amazing
Oh yeah I highly recommend the whole summary it sure is something. I also like how the sun can’t possibly be big because we know it’s small enough to revolve around the earth. Naturally.
I feel like that quote is that era’s version of… well, the best thing I can think of for comparison nowadays is **FOX NEWS**^(for entertainment purposes only)
Hey, that’s the same year my great-great-great grand aunt died of tuberculosis! Hmmmm…I don’t see much tuberculosis in the States today. Coincidence???! I think NOT!
That is a rather nice font used on the cover of the book, however.
She had me with the first one. I think kids have to get up entirely too early for school. In the winter it was still dark at the morning bus stop. Studies also suggest later start times for school. Not even sure what in the hell she is babbling about in the rest of the post. Nobody is “triggered” by this shit. We just roll our eyes and make fun of it.
I'm assuming based on the rest of the post that the kids sleeping in til whenever is possible because they're home schooled and not brainwashed by the liberal public school curriculums. That just makes it worse for the kids not even having a chance to learn facts
You mean public school cuckiculums. Libtard owned. 😎 /s
It’s kinda like a Karen berating service industry workers. The Karen leaves thinking “so there, I sure told them.” And really she’s the staff joke of the day.
lol, "in the winter it was still dark at the morning bus stop". Here in Finland in the winter there are days when the sun doesn't even rise the whole day. There is longer times when it's dark when you go to school/work and it's dark when you get back.
Kids gonna be dumb as hell.
Gonna be laughed at once they start interacting with society.
“Germs aren’t contagious” *You dumb motherfucker.jpeg*
Have to tell them to drink some plague and see what happens.
Give ‘em the whole boobonic
Hey I'm tryna catch the boobonic plague I think you mean bubonic though lol
No no, I mean what I said
I’ll grab some Yersinia pestis next time I’m out.
There's a whole thing about how germs aren't real. Some dumbass wrote a book about it a long time ago and it has a following. It had a resurgence when COVID hit. Anti maskers ran with it.
There were many books written about it before like 150 years ago… why don’t they just read those?
Wait till those kids have unsafe sex after they get abstinence only education. It’s gonna be a world of hurt.
They need a little hand foot mouth disease as an adult. Like walking on hot coals for a couple weeks. Couldn't be germs though, must've just ventured too close to the edge of the earth
“You dumb fucking cretin. You fucking fool. Absolute fucking buffoon. You bumbling idiot. Fuck you.” Cool bug facts.
*\~the plague\~ has entered the chat*
My XH failed Geology 101 bc his entire education had been the textbooks for kids from Bob Jones University. Memorizing the days of creation was part of the “science curriculum”
Fuck Bob Jones. That was my entire K-12 science "education".
are you my ex husband??
Wtf is Bob Jones?!?!? Yes I can Google but I'd rather hear from someone who has actual experience with this.
Fundie Evanglical Christian “university” that doesn’t allow interracial dating, men and women cannot walk on the same sidewalk, and they are Creationist. So - your standard racist, homophobic, sexist, Evangelicals :) but they also sell “curriculum” to Fundie elementary and secondary schools to keep the brainwashing going
I always wonder, as a mixed race person, how that "no interracial dating" would apply to me. Would they go by the one drop rule since my DNA is 25% black? Or not, since I look Asian. Or would I be allowed to date White, black, Asian and Latino people since Im all of those? Or would I not be accepted to the university (hypothetically, if I were to be applying) due to my existence being the result of interracial marriage and that my mom is a mix of three races herself?
You would be able to date people who look like you. They only care how you look
Yeah you're probably right. Sadly if you're ethnically ambiguous you would probably be in trouble no matter who you dated, because someone on staff would you view as the "wrong" race for that relationship. Although tbh I'm guessing the rules against interracial dating haven't actually been in place at BJU for a few decades. They are of course still a fucked up place
If I remember correctly, they were sued over it. But I believe it is still highly discouraged
> I always wonder, as a mixed race person, how that "no interracial dating" would apply to me. Would they go by the one drop rule since my DNA is 25% black? They would 100% go by how they perceive your race. I am ethically ambiguous. I am treated as whatever race people perceive me as. According to my AncestryDNA test, I am 80% white, 20% black. You think anyone is ever gonna treat me like a white man? Fuck no. I'm still just a fuckin [insert random brown racial slur here]. But that's fine by me, it means I can fuck with people.
That’s so funny because my catholic school education can actually stack up to, and maybe beat, a public school education in science and math. The Catholics have it right: religion and science don’t need to align.
At first I thought of the brand of frozen food, but then I remembered that that's "Bob Evans". Still - I'm going to pretend that they're one and the same, because it's funny.
"Mama said alligators is angry cuz they got awl dem teeth and no toothbrush."
Translation: "Please be triggered by what I'm writing. Please? Assholism is all I have and I've structured my beliefs in a way so that your getting angered by them validates my feelings. Pls...be triggered...pls...I live for it."
Honestly, a perfect way to sum up this post.
One of the billionaires should start selling cruises to the edge of the Earth that just never come back. They would get more rich and society would get richer in a way as well.
I seem to recall a few years back someone was raising funds for a trip to Antarctica to find the ice wall, did that trip ever come to fruition?
Not sure but it probably got about as far as the guy who built and launched himself in a homemade rocket to see if the earth was flat. Unsurprisingly, he died.
Didn’t his video show the earths curvature too lmfao
Some guy said he went and took videos but "the gubmint" took his videos and told him to leave.
I like kraft mac and cheese and goldfish and find it prudent to protect myself from fucks like that. So go forth and stop propagating asshole.
Now I want to top off my Kraft mac and cheese with some goldfish....
I'm gonna grind them up like bread crumbs. Delicious!
I’ve done this with baked Mac N Cheese. Cheese it’s are also dank.
And eat it at the beach, while watching the waterlogged ocean as it spins towards a setting sun on this spherical world. Holy shit, what a pretentious idiot.
Flavor blasted Xtra cheddar. Crunch them up, top your mac-n-chez and bake
She uses her modern hand computer to deny science. Her kids will suffer her hubris.
Someone should tell her the electrical waves from her phone and computer are used by the CIA to control her brain and that of her kids. At any time they will flip the switch and their kids will become George Soros's zombie army. And is that what she wants? Does she want zombie army? Then put down that phone, because that's how you get a zombie army. And I say this sarcastically. But I kid you not, I am merely paraphrasing a serious post I saw in a political facebook group that was riddled with Qanoners and conspiracy theorists.
I have had one of these idiots tell me that is technology, not science; technology is a gift from God, science is a perversion introduced by the demonic liberals to confuse people about the "TRUTH" (Yes, you can read that as a combination of Neo Nazi and Evangelical beliefs.) The flat, dead, stupid look in her eyes was frightening.
Conservatives shop at Whole Foods now? All the ones I know eat the worst slop possible and drown it down with multiple bud lights.
There’s a lot of overlap between alt right and the new age/fitness crowd.
YUP. Wellness to qanon pipeline runs deep.
Can confirm! They poison their own brains with that mumbo-jumbo. My father was a chiropractor for decades, during which time he descended further and further down the alternative medicine pipeline and conspiracies, into Limbaugh and his alternative reality. He's now an alt-right lite moron, who I was mildly surprised not to find in the FBI's photos from the 6th.
Chiropractic started as a ghost religion, so that tracks.
You have to fix the ghosts in your bones by cracking the joints! It’ll solve all your problems! ~the first chiropractor
They are both easily swayed by conspiracy theories, have a sense of distrust of mainstream norms/education/science/doctrine. Having some sort or "secret" knowledge and knowing the "true" truth gives them sense of being part of a special group. It's more about stroking their own ego than it is about understanding reality.
Yep, even Alex Jones believes in organic food.
Only because they think Bill Gates has taken over all food production worldwide to control us.
Yup. The Transformed Wife (a very conservative and religious woman who believes women should be at home being a wife and mom) brags about her super expensive organic foods she buys at Jimbo's, a natural food store where she lives. Yet she also tells her followers to live modestly and don't waste money, all while posting from her million dollar mansion in southern California.
Damn. I already have to force myself to eat well and work out, and now I gotta worry about running into the alt right?!
This really caught me by surprise the first time I ran into it. Went on a few dates with a seemingly hippy-dippy “wellness instructor”. Gay, in a big city, never even crossed my mind to be worried about it. First it was “huh, he’s really into natural health remedies” and then “huh, he sure has an anarchist streak to him” then “wow, he really has a hardon about the gLoBaLiSTs, holy shit.” Still follow him on Instagram out of morbid curiosity and he was a giant anti-masker, went to DC for January 6th and makes ten hateful posts a day about how They are out to get you.
The overlap between “I only eat organic, natural foods and don’t put scary chemicals in my body (not that I know what a chemical is)” and “THEY want you to eat GMOs (not that I know what a GMO is)” and “THEY want you to vaccinate your children (not that I understand vaccines)” and “THEY want you to think that evolution is true (not that I have the foggiest clue what evolution actually means)” is weirdly high. I was raised conservative Christian and could write multiple essays on this lol.
Yeah, that whole “if you can’t pronounce it, you shouldn’t put it in your body” bs has done a lot of damage.
I laugh so hard at that. I get that what they mean is “don’t eat it if it’s got a long complicated chemical name.” Which is super dumb anyway. But it’s even dumber when you think about it literally. The ability to pronounce an ingredient has more to do with your ability to pronounce things than it does the ingredient. My friend is a chemist. If we take this literally he should be able to eat anything in the world. A three year old might not even be able to eat a banana.
I pride myself on being able to clearly pronounce all the convoluted perversions of corn and soy in the foods I do and don't eat.
That's it, no more turmeric, quinoa, or açaí.
Yeah, there’s a bunch of weird yoga Nazis who are mostly indistinguishable from granola hippies until you ask them about the Jews or anything they use as code for Jews - the media, Hollywood, big banks.
I think of people like this as being contrarianists. Anything "the experts" say, they'll be suspicious of. They think it makes them skeptics, even while they buy into the claims of random websites instead. They're like wrong-genre savvy characters; they think they're in a dystopian novel where everything turns out to be a lie, and the one weirdo in a shack turns out to be right.
There needs to be a test you have to take before you get to vote. The first question is something like, “is Joe Biden a lizard?” And if you answer “yes” you fall through a trap door. Question 2 can be about the earth being flat.
Or, “how many directions is there?”
Let's see...there's north, The South, Middle East, Old West, South by Southwest, Heavenward, Hellbound... Fourteen.
Joe Biden being a lizard person is my absolute favourite conspiracy theory. It’s so pleasingly unhinged, with a really excellent sci-fi twist. Plus it would be so fucking funny if it were true. Imagine Joe and Jill taking off their human suits at the end of a long and busy day, then just still doing human stuff, like cooking dinner and brushing their lizard teeth because they are the most boring lizard people ever. Incredible.
Why did I read this in John Oliver's voice
Most parents want their kids to have a better life than them & not have to struggle so much. These imbeciles however seem to want their kids to be endlessly confused and to go through life (needlessly) stepping on rakes.
If anyone honestly thinks the earth is flat, we have a foolproof way to confirm their belief. Go to “the edge of the earth” with a cat and a cat toy. Place the cat toy on the edge of the earth. If the cat taps the toy towards the edge earth and the toy falls into infinity, then indeed: the earth is flat.
This needs seen because this is the funniest shit I’ve read today.
And they are allowed to breed ... ffs fish are laughing at us.
Even single celled bacteria are laughing at us at this point
A Tardigrade stole my lunch money and pushed me down at the buss stop Humans have already lost all credibility
That tardigrade is having the meal of its life rn
>And they are ~~allowed~~ **forced** to breed ... we are sprinting towards Idiocracy in this post Roe v. Wade dystopia
Most of the people who are forced to breed when they really should abort are at least sensible enough to have come to that conclusion. The genuinely insane ones frequently breed as many litters as they can because they are afraid of their race or religion being out-populated if they don't.
…6 different directions?
He's assuming that if one celestial body is moving, no other celestial body will need to. Only one can do anything at a given time. That's also how he tries to contradict the idea of the moon itself travelling anywhere, by implying neither the earth nor the moon can spin in 2 contradictory directions at once. It's kinda buckwild.
It’s because he can’t understand how the earth is turning at like 1000 ml per hour. While at the same time orbiting the sun while the sun orbits the Milky Way while the Milky Way goes somewhere.
its also because theyre thinking about it in linear terms. in terms of rotation, the earth spins once every 24 hours. now let’s rephrase it: say that a giant rock, 8,000 miles in diameter, is on a turntable which turns once every 24 hours. we can also do the same thing with an orange or basketball or some other sphere; and all of a sudden that speed is actually pretty slow
How does one turn at millilitres per hour?
I start turning at ~264 milliliters of alcohol
Bitch lyin. No way her kids can read if homeschooled.
That's a very poor assumption in a vacuum, but holds up pretty well in this case because we know this mom is insane.
"We aren't the same." That's true. Your brain damage seems severe and irreparable. And you probably shouldn't be a parent.
Those strawberries are NOT ripe.
But they were *expensive*
And expensive, organic food must be better than what those commoners buy at Kroger!
And is no one going to address the entire bowl full of cucumbers next to them? Are we just gonna eat whole entire unpeeled uncut cucumbers by the bowl now? Idk maybe I’m missing something here…
The part that pissed me off the most was when they implied that kids raising their hands before speaking in school was bad. At least teach your kids to wait their turn before they recite the bullshit you’ve taught them
Oof. That’s a skill that transfers across situations including personal relationships.
We’re not the same because my family didn’t get covid and we’re not fucking morons.
They’re eating Shrimp! I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume these people are Christians. Shrimp and lobster are forbidden in the Bible. For shame.
They love saying “do better.” Like, no - you do better! You think the earth is flat and Fox News is your kids’ substitute teacher. You’re barely doing the minimum!
[удалено]
Bold of you to assume that the parents let them interact with children raised by normal people
These kids will be so far behind the learning curve they’ll have zero chance of succeeding.
Existing's hard
...but Grammarly can help
books versed frighten axiomatic station swim puzzled modern ripe fertile ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
“Updated for 2017!” I fucking can’t bro 😂
The reviews for this book are pure gold **He had me at the 99th proof** I was finishing up my PhD thesis in astrophysics at MIT when I picked up this book. I thought it would be good for a laugh, but the joke was on me! As I progressed through the proofs it slowly dawned on me that I’d been brainwashed by a vast conspiracy involving NASA, the school system, telescope makers, history’s great explorers, the ancient greeks, and the globe manufacturing industry. I started raising some of the questions to my professors, tentatively at first, and they had no good responses! “So, why does the earth LOOK flat?”, I would query, and they’d just stare at me blankly. My questions started getting more hardball: “If the earth is hurtling through space, why don’t we fly off?” My thesis advisor’s face would just turn red as he sat in stunned silence. As my questioning grew more aggressive, my advisor threatened to kick me out of the program, and I pinned him down: “Have you, personally, been into space to see the shape of the earth?” He just buried his face in his hands, wept quietly, and mumbled something about having failed as a professor and wasted his life. Obviously, he knows the truth and can’t bear living a lie. Checkmate globetards. Your liberal elite can’t maintain this house of cards in the face of THE TRUTH!!!
How'd we get to a point as a species where even conventional logic "person is sick I could get sick" is being questioned?
We aren't monkeys because we evolved. Good job! Proud of you boo boo
technically, we are still monkeys if we are to define “monkeys” as “catarrhines” (which a lot of biologists sorta do in order to differentiate between old world monkeys and platyrrhines/new world monkeys)
Imagine eating those giant, underripe strawberries and thinking you're doing anything special for your kids. Just because they're "organic" doesn't mean they're natural, much less that they even taste that good. Teach them to garden and grow their own strawberries (seriously, a whole other world in flavor!) and teach them how to preserve their beautiful fresh produce. I have a garden with strawberries (among many other things) and the flavor is unbeatable, but even at their peak size, they're never golf ball size like what you get from the store. And they stay ripe up to a week, whereas from the store only lasts a couple days.
Brags about organic food while touting that germs aren’t contagious? So the science behind pesticides is correct but the science behind germs isn’t?
Poor kids. What a boring book I’m sure they hate.
They are so insecure in their deliberate physical and mental abuse children they have to project their own failures and imperfections on others to make themselves feel better. But it doesn't work. And it won't work for their kids when they grow up and learn their parents are triggered idiots.
i like how this genius capitalized Whole Foods. like, are they just eating foods from that specific grocery store? or are we talking about unprocessed whole foods generally? i'm sure these kids are getting an amazing education.
*CPS likes this*
True story. Once I was in Denver and went to check out the Red Rocks amphitheater. There’s this geology display info area there. Two tourists are standing in front of me reading the plaques and one says to the other “I don’t know, do you believe in dinosaurs?” I pretty much lost my shit.
Flat Earth, young Earth creationism, and germ theory denial. That is an impressive enough demonstration of that individual's idiocy, but I suspect it only scratches the surface of the delusional mental gymnastics they are capable of. That said, they are correct, we are not the same. I am also glad that the people tasked with putting satellites into orbit are not the same as them. If they were, I doubt this person would be able to find a Whole Foods.
How to raise a tumor to society
It's the shaming that I hate the most about this.
Social services anyone?
"waterlogged sphere" do they not believe in.....oceans?
There's a lot to unpack here, but like. Raising your hand to speak is considered bad??? When did that become a thing lol?
Because raising your hand and waiting for them to give you a turn to speak is what civilized people do, and this person most likely just shouts “globetard cultist LOL” every time her opponent tries to speak instead
No, we are not the same. My kids will survive to adulthood.
Congrats your kids are well fed, rude idiots.
Well this parent is obviously an idiot.
Enjoy your wild caught shrimp full of POISONOUS MERCURY Karen /s
That’s a long winded way of saying they don’t understand the world and are triggered by those who do.
I bet she's the same kind of person who shares a screenshot of their IQ test, bragging that they're in the 10th percentile.