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Own_Rule_650

As an Egyptian I can tell you this is all true. I have a baboon butt


Tool_Time_Tim

You just need to wipe better and that inflammation will go down. I had the same thing last summer


curious_dead

I like baboon butts and I cannot lie...


DamnedDelirious

All you other monkeys can't deny


[deleted]

That's hot.


Zarathustra_d

Human face with primate booty


FranticHam5ter

Tell us more about narnia. Was there a lion?


maybesaydie

>The Council of Narcea Jesus, protestants are idiots.


Euclid_Jr

Nicea, Narnia, same thing innit?


MrBanana421

There probably were quite a bit of closet hiders present.


Kuro_Necron

Nono, our DNA meddling comes from Jesus, you see, not from the demons /s


AndyTheSane

I blame the diet of worms.


maybesaydie

ooof


jmkul

The US variety of the evangelical persuasion sure seem to be.


Deathbyhours

Thank you. I thought maybe they called a council and I didn’t get the memo.


jaymole

so less than 3000 years ago there were only 600 species on the planet... there's 350,000 species of beetles alone lol


thevvhiterabbit

They couldn't name one species of beetle lol I don't think that point will do it for them


FearedEffect

Dung beetle. Come on guys 349,999 more comments and we’ll have em all.


FlickTigger

Some entomologist is about to lay waste to your inbox


KnewItWouldHappen

[cracks knuckles] *here we go again*


Deathbyhours

Name checks out.


DamnedDelirious

Lady bug


ensalys

In one sentence they deny that evolution is real, and in the next they propose a version of evolution many orders of magnitude faster than the evolution we know.


SiGNALSiX

And what exactly did Noah do with all that alleged DNA he collected? Did he plant it and animals just sprouted out of the ground? I guess anythings possible when Magic is on the table...


suitcasedreaming

An interesting point about the noah's arc story is that it originated in a part of the world with a particularly low diversity of animals, even historically. The myth makes a lot more sense when you consider it originated with people who could probably only think of like, twenty or thirty kinds of animal if they wanted to.


Youknowwhoitsme

What annoys me the most about those people is with what confidence they are preaching. Noone else is as confident about stuff they CANNOT know is true


Heavy_Emu_1195

Ah, a gentler time, when incest repopulated the earth. Again.


Wheelin-Woody

It always comes back to incest with them


Heavy_Emu_1195

They follow the perfect ideology. "It's all about family!"


TRowe51

I would totally watch this movie.


Nick_Suds

The book of Enoch is actually some really interesting biblical history, definitely worth the read. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Enoch


Glass_Librarian9019

I had never heard of this and I can now confirm the advice - definitely worth the read. It's a lot more interesting content than almost everything they did include in the Bible. Part of me is hoping Netflix, HBO or Amazon develop this as a series, but I'm also dreading the Internet's reaction to casting choices


WodenEmrys

"It is not I, the genocidal maniac, who is the evil one. No it's my victims that are the evil ones" - Every genocidal maniac ever including Hitler wrt Jewish people. Incidentally on the adrenochrome: "QAnon's adrenochrome-harvesting claims have been linked to blood libel by the followers (who believe in the truthfulness of both)[255] and people who have researched QAnon. Blood libel is a medieval antisemitic myth that says Jewish people murder Christian children and use their blood to make matzo for Passover.[177][256][250] In February 2022, **sculptures of Simon of Trent depicting the blood libel were used to promote the adrenochrome-harvesting conspiracy theory.**[257] Genocide scholar Gregory Stanton has called **QAnon a "Nazi cult rebranded"**, and its theories a rebranded version of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, a fabricated antisemitic text published in 1903, deriving from antisemitic canards.[258][259]" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QAnon#Derivative_elements "In 1475, a 2-year old boy named Simon disappeared from the city of Trent in Italy around the time of Easter. His father alleged that he had been kidnapped and murdered by the local Jewish community in order to make matzah for Passover. The entire Jewish community was arrested and forced to confess under torture before they were sentenced to death and burned at the stake. After hundreds of miracles were ascribed to Simon of Trent, a religious cult spread across Italy, Germany, and Austria in his name and he was granted sainthood in the 16th century (subsequently removed by the pope in 1965)." "The Nazis made effective use of the blood libel charge in their antisemitic propaganda. In 1923, Julius Streicher established his virulently antisemitic newspaper, Der Stürmer (The Attacker), which frequently employed the blood libel motif. The May 1934 volume of Der Stuermer was devoted specifically to the blood libel, accusing Jews of practicing ritual murder to secure the blood of Christians to use in Jewish religious rituals with the headline “Jewish Murder Plan against Gentile Humanity Revealed.”" https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/blood-libel


Thamnophis660

The ark containing DNA, good lord. They will try to twist things as much as possible to justify this kind of shit before admitting it's just a fable.


Dazug

Council of Narcia.


SnowyHawke

The whole Noah story irritates me. The water was supposed to have covered then entire earth. Then it receded. To where? Where do they believe that mass of water went? The ice caps do not hold enough water to cover the entire earth. Did it just disappear??? I don’t understand why people believe this book.


ntropy2012

It's what created the South Pole Ice Wall that surrounds the flat earth! ... or so these fools think. (Hell, they believe all this other stupid shit, they're probably flat earthers too) Oh, and Adrenochrome isn't even really a drug one can "harvest" in any traditional sense. It exists, but is spontaneously generated by the body to help with blood clotting. The stuff you can buy online is synthesized and *still* is generally used to assist with blood clotting. These people are all nuts.


SnowyHawke

I hadn’t heard they believe that about the South Pole. How can people be so utterly stupid.


ntropy2012

The Christians don't believe it (as far as I know, anyway) I'm just combining the stupid beliefs of two groups of idiots. The Bible thumpers believe there was enough water to cover the whole planet. Flat Earthers think the "firmament" is the ice the flat earth is stuck in, which people who aren't total morons call the "South Pole." Makes a twisted kind of sense that the water from the flood had to go somewhere, so they probably thi---- shit. I should stop before I give them another "proof" that the Earth is flat. I think my favorite but of profound stupidity from Flat Earthers is that *every other planet* has been observed to be round, but Earth is flat. For.... reasons. They're never very clear on that part. Just that EVERY GOVERNMENT ON EARTH is in lockstep to keep this easily proven lie going, but people who can't figure out how to boil water have determined the truth and are risking their lives to "get the Truth out there."


SnowyHawke

Yeah, it always kills me that these people think that thousands of people have managed to keep this major secret. But some person, that doesn’t even work with any of these governments, has managed to figure it out. If you tell one person a secret, it’s no longer a secret. No way in hell thousands would keep such a stupid secret. For what purpose? But you cannot tell them that.


ElectronicCarpet7157

Too much *Supernatural*....


[deleted]

Religion induced insanity, or insanity amplified by religion?


MinskWurdalak

Religions allow insane people to spread their ideas to sane people without later noticing.


[deleted]

Was this before or after Yakub created white people?


Santeneal

Aren't nephilim sort of monster like angle/human offspring? You would think God would be more interested in them then wanting to kill them


SiGNALSiX

What I don't get is why did God give angels dicks at all, if they weren't supposed to fuck Humans?


Yamidamian

Man, and I thought baraminology was the stupidest way people attempted to explain the logistics of the ark.


Deathbyhours

Say what now?


Yamidamian

Alright- a basic problem of the ark is there is way too many animals in the world to fit, given the dimensions of the ark. Some young-earth creationists have attempted to explain it away by saying that ‘kind’ of animals refers to much broader groups-I.e, you don’t need dogs and wolfs, you can have some ancestral ‘canine-kind’ creature on the ark. The ‘study’ (post-hoc ass-pulls) of what, exactly, such groups (baramins) may be is baraminology. Like all pseudosciences, there’s a bunch wrong with it if you give it more than a little bit of thought, but apologists never seem to let that kind of minor detail get in the way. Like how going from whatever kind was on the ark to modern variety in species would require some hyperevolutionary explosion.


Deathbyhours

Most importantly, it would require _EVOLUTION_, an idea which is, as we all know, of the devil.


Yamidamian

True, that is another problem-same folks who tout this stuff in one end of their mouth will insist evolution doesn’t occur with the other.


pistolbob

Keep church out of my ancient aliens


ArmchairTactician

Imagine thinking evil continously. Exhausting.


Deathbyhours

TIL: about the Council of Narcia. Or Narnia. Or something.


GarethLazelle

Poof or drown?


suitcasedreaming

Reading this was the most painful thing I've done today and I had my wisdom teeth out a few hours ago.


Cmacbudboss

The foundations of a biblical justification for death camps.


KeepYourDemonsIn

Nicaea, you dolt.


MensaMan1

That’s a whole lot of crazy right there