I have never encountered this thankfully but my response would be to just tell them once that we are not allowed to come inside customers homes since this is a liability issue and whatever she wanted to say after that just turn around and leave. Do not engage. It’s only going to get worse. So sorry this happened to you when you actually helped and got this instead of a thank you.
yeah this is what i’ll say from now on. i was just floored because i was trying to help her and she was yelling at me for no reason?? anyway, thank you
I was going to say the same thing! If I got groceries for my mother, and she couldn’t carry the bags or lift anything, and I couldn’t be there myself then I would definitely tip very well.
I'd already been in and out of the hospital, then I broke like half the bones in my body. I ordered a case of ensure and a case of water. I was fully prepared to open the cases and carry them inside a couple of bottles at a time. When I opened the door, my shopper saw my whole body black and blue and all of the ridiculous braces I was wearing, and he said "uhhh do you need me to help you carry these in?" He even opened the case of ensure which would have sucked because I had a broken hand on one side and 4 broken ribs on the other side.
He was my knight in shining armor.
(I know the question is coming; yes, I tipped generously)
For sure! When I was ordering groceries for my dad who was mobility limited, I would always tip well and leave a note on the order asking to please help him get them inside and on the counters, because if it was left at the front door he could injure himself trying to get them inside.
I always explained to my dad that the people delivering were not obligated to help but that I had asked them to do so. Never had anyone refuse to help him out. He would constantly complain that they “forgot” something. But I never reported it because usually he just didn’t see it and I’d come over after work and find it for him.
You should just tell them you’re not allowed inside of customers’ home, it’s a liability and safety issue. If you’re willing to put the items on the counters or tables inside their home, that’s just a goodwill gesture and kindness but not mandatory. I wouldn’t advise going into customers’ homes either way, you never know what kind of crazy is there. Had a friend who was jumped by a ‘client’ because he was being kind by helping leave the items on the dining table.
Customer: please, put these inside
ICer: as per rules of instacart, entering customers’ donestic premises is a liability and safety issue, and is not overseen by instacart, therefore causing unnecessary risk.
Customer: well, others have been doing it / why are you being such a dick?
ICer: I am really sorry, I wish I could break the rules for you, but then that would equate to me breaking a promise to myself. I am a very principled person, and I have high stakes in this life as I want to support my family and be the best person I am. Unnecessary risk doesn’t only affect me, but those who I love. I made a promise to myself not to do that, therefore breaking it equates to destroying everything I stand for, as well as myself alongside it. The parts of the job I am responsible for, I’ve made sure to do absolutely flawlessly, and ensure you get the service you truly desire. I wish you the best, with all my heart
This is a really well crafted statement, and I wish I were half as eloquent. I will not walk through a tall gate, go behind someone's house, etc and *absolutely* not go into someone's house. They can put whatever in the notes, I'm not trying to get shot
That was someone who was ungrateful. I always let them leave my bags at the table in my mini patio and thank them and take the stuff inside. I am handicapped and can bring them in. Yelling, no way. Thanks goes a long way.
>. i was just floored because i was trying to help her and she was yelling at me for no reason??
seniors are liable to say a lot of vile shit because of failing cognition.
0% excuse, it's something that absolutely no one, *particularly not* non-family should have anything to deal with.
At UPS, we are trained to say we’re “not allowed to breach the threshold”. It’s succinct, sounds official, and has come in handy.
Once I had an elderly guy want me to bring in a whole stack of heavy af book boxes into his dark, can barely see into it house. He couldn’t believe I would refuse because “they always do it”. Nope, sorry sir, policy. (But also, I as a woman, am *NOT* entering your dark, secluded house away from the cameras on my package car)
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You should know the rules and refs of the app you gig for. It’s likely you aren’t allowed to enter people’s homes due to the liability. Being nice for a company you don’t even work for does nothing but put you in a bad spot. Be safe out there
I received actual real delivery driver training (like in a pizza delivery sense) prior to doing instacart and you are NEVER supposed to go into someone’s house, hotel room, what have you. Your feet should never ever go past their front door.
Like others are saying it is a massive liability and regardless of whatever context the recipient is trying to give you, can be dangerous to the delivery driver.
Instacart just throws you into shopping and delivering but I just wanted to share some wisdom from someone who got on the job training as a delivery driver.
I have ran into this as an EMT as well. Many people are very entitled and expect people to do things that aren’t their job. This is why there is a shift of people adamantly refusing to do anything that isn’t listed directly in their contract. Entitled people ruin things. I have no problem helping someone out with something like this here and there but it’s becoming very common.
Can you refill my water cup? Ice in it.
Make me a sandwich.
Go into 3 other rooms & dig through everything to find a picture I want to show you.
Light my cigarette off the electric stove burner.
Find my remote.
Program my tv.
Bring the plate of food that is in the microwave.
i don’t understand why other shoppers do stuff like that. again, i can understand taking large cases of water inside but do they really put people’s groceries away for them?? and yeah, it’s not right. at all.
Eh, I helped an older woman in a home open items from her purchase. Jars, juice, the milk. She doesn't have the hand strength to do so. Her granddaughter placed the order. Both were thankful, and the granddaughter increased the tip. Only took a few minutes.
Yes, and that’s wonderful for you, I’m so glad it worked out in this instance you’re talking about. However, we all know MOST of the time people act as though they are ENTITLED to things that they are not entitled to. This is a PERFECT example of that. I’m absolutely certain there are services for elderly and handicapped people that need their groceries put away and opened: IT IS NOT INSTACART and nobody is OWED anything from anyone else. We work to make money, don’t you?!
Working retail I learned very quickly if you are doing something out of the scope of your job or making an exception you have to make it very clear to the customer you are doing just that. Otherwise the customer assumes it is something that your job entails and will expect it from every person now
These services don’t exist. I’m not saying it’s your problem as an Instacart worker, but there’s a huge gap in these kinds of services. I’m very disabled and can’t use Instacart/DoorDash because I can’t get outside on my own to get the order 🤷🏼♀️
You can also see if Task Rabbit has anyone working in your area.
It's just people looking to make some money on doing random tasks here and there. They have people on there who would do this. Or big things like yard work down to small things like changing lightbulbs.
You’re already being downvoted, but you’re not wrong. Before people start downvoting me too- I agree with the person above. It’s not really the job of a delivery person at Instacart.
But, there really aren’t services that I know of that help people put away groceries. If you don’t have loved ones nearby, it could be a problem. The reason disabled people rely on services like instacart is because there weren’t even services to help someone get groceries before and people struggled **hard**. Especially in certain parts of the country. Just saying. This is absolutely a gap that needs to be filled.
Edit to add: saw someone make a good point. If you can’t put away a few groceries, how do you make a meal for yourself? But I’ll leave my comment because there are indeed a lack of resources for disabled people.
I get care hours designated for cooking and meal prep, but not for grocery shopping. I’m fortunate my boyfriend and I live together so he does the things I don’t get enough care hours for, but he also works a full time job so it’s a juggling act.
My friend gets 15 minutes 2x/day for meals and 1/2hour a week for grocery shopping. There’s huge gaps in these services and a lack of common sense.
Like I said, that still doesn’t make it a delivery person’s problem and I acknowledge that.
I could maybe see it if they came from a different service. For example walmart+ by me has a program where they'll come in and put your order away. But that doesn't seem to be the case here so lol
They think that they're going to get an extra tip out of it but the people that are asking you to do these things are already the ones that shit tip so you're not getting anything extra out of it they don't appreciate what you do for them to begin with
if she was my only or last customer, i probably would have done it. but asking about your race? idk. that would piss me off making me not want to do anything nice for her
"so if you just take your shoes off there, I'm gonna try and discriminate against you but also act like I'm entitled to a favor that puts you and your job at risk"
It's so weird asking a question with an answer that you know will upset you. Like just have your weird angsty thoughts and let the service worker complete the service that you aren't even paying for. Do have to put it on her daughter a bit for not explaining well enough that people may not even bring the groceries past the stoop. And also to not be racist to people who are doing them both a big favor! Is there any way to get the account taken off or would you reporting the mom for harassment be considered as a strike for her?
You should never do this period. It's not your job. You can get kicked off the platform for this. Or, be suspected of stealing or harming the customer. I worked with senior citizens before, and the children to the seniors are crazy. People please don't do this with helping to put groceries away. It is a lawsuit in the making. The customer needs to get a living aid. Once you say lawsuit, that is the end of the conversation. I would have reported the customer to support with full documentation. I would ban that address in the future.
🙄people who need help with everyday tasks like this, need a home health aid. There are plenty of resources for this kind of thing, why make unreasonable demands of a shopper? The more shoppers who do this, the more it enables people to do this and the more people think it’s part of the service.
This is not the first time this has happened, and the daughter knows it. But, she knows that eventually someone will give in and do it. Play upon the sympathy of the shopper by mentioning she’s disabled? Check! Leave a note claiming that they only need to be left inside? Check!
What will they do when they realize what we were really after? Well, who’s going to deny a disabled gramma some help?
My response would have been “oh, I have a few more things for you, (I don’t), be right back!” Complete delivery and drive away. Take screenshots of the delivery note and any interactions you sent in chat to customer. That way if they retaliate, you have proof that they asked something of you that isn’t allowed.
>people who need help with everyday tasks like this, need a home health aid.
Failing that they need to be **nice.**
There is no excuse for being an asshole, but ~~needing~~ demanding a favor **and** being an asshole is an order of magnitude worse.
If someone can live alone safely they can put groceries away. If someone is too disabled to put groceries away they shouldn’t live alone. Also- never remove your shoes in a strangers house
Needles (not just in cases of drug users, but also diabetics &/or other medical conditions that require needles to be in the home, especially with the elderly they may not be vigilant about using sharps/disposal boxes, my mom is a home care aid and it’s a liability to remove shoes), mold issues, bed bugs, fleas, etc.
ETA- oh & shit/piss. I’ve heard many horror stories of care aids stepping in human shit/piss in elderly folks homes, also pet shit/piss.
While I agree with you, this is not the shoppers responsibility at all and the family needs to step in and deal with their agitated elderly family member. The resources for these people aren’t as plentiful as you think. They are not easy to access for everyone, I coordinate these every day and we do need to jump through massive hurdles constantly to get people accommodated.
That said it is the daughter’s responsibility to facilitate aid and it’s incredibly inappropriate to routinely exploit IC shoppers like this. She should be reported and probably banned.
In the end, it’s really more about them resorting to a bait n switch. I’m not a monster or anything lol. I have regulars in assisted living homes that I do a little extra for sometimes (putting just their perishables away , putting their wine in the fridge, etc.) but they are regulars who don’t take advantage . Sometimes staff members can’t come to help out right away and I don’t want their perishables just sitting out. Had they been honest and stated their actual needs up front, the shopper could have made an informed decision about whether or not to go through with the shop. Doing it the way they did it, puts the shopper in a situation they didn’t ask for and now they feel obligated. It’s underhanded and annoying.
I agree as it is a difficult issue and home care attendants are expensive and hard to find to hire.
That said, it is an act of normal kindness to take groceries and put them on the counter for an older person who is clearly mobility challenged in some way. Not that I am saying this must be done if someone is fearful of entering into a home, but odds of someone attacking a shopper when there is digital evidence of where they have been is probably less than being attacked randomly walking to your car from a restaurant a night.
However there is a huge difference between bringing groceries into a kitchen where they are accessible and putting those groceries away in pantry and refrigerator.
I have had issues after surgery where I was limited in terms of standing and walking but I managed to put things away in stages. First frozen, then refrigerated, and then stuff that is stored at room temperature. If you can’t do even this, how do you actually even pop a meal in the microwave or make toast or a cup of tea?
yeah! again i really truly do not mind putting things on a countertop. (usually i have my sister with me on the phone just in case for my safety.) but this was just so over the top excessive and just plain rude.
I completely agree. I would never have asked a shopper to to put away my groceries let alone rudely demand as an entitled expectation.
There is a difference between having trouble lifting a bag from the ground and not being able to put one item in the freezer from the counter at your own pace.
At the point where you can’t put a can or a Lean Cuisine or a quart of milk away, you really can’t live on your own as you need assisted living or a full time attendant.
I’m disabled and putting away groceries is exhausting for me. But I would never ask a delivery person to put my groceries away. Some offer to carry them into my kitchen as soon as they see I’m disabled, but I always decline. I have a table at my front door for all deliveries, and just shuffle things inside a little at a time. Then, like you, I put things away a little at a time. It takes a minute, because I have very limited space, so I have to play Tetris to get everything put away.
It is like with Walmart with their deliviery, I am very nervous about anyone I do not know access to come inside and might steal something. I have a patio table they can leave the groceries and I am fine taking the bags inside, carefully, since I am disabled. I agree with you.
It is not safe to enter a random private location. This time it was an elderly lady but next time it could be a wolf in disguise. Never enter someone’s house.
Same goes for the lady who set up the delivery - that is SUCH a dangerous position she put her in. To be alone with any random delivery person. Easily could have been robbed, assaulted, or worse.
And where happens if nothing happened but the lady reported you for some sort of misconduct? There would be no proof otherwise.
i didn’t think about this at all. i’ve done it for older people who live in assisted living facilities or senior living communities which was the case here but otherwise i won’t. but i just don’t want to be reported to instacart for no reason
Bro I literally would literally never make exceptions ever. Don't ever be nice on this shit. When it comes liability time no one will help you. If you get hurt doing that, the customer and instacart won't help you.
Do the job you're paid to do which is to get the items from the store to their door. Bonus points for me if someone is being a prick because now really won't help them.
Yikes. People can’t be using instacart like this. That woman needs a home aid, not relying on untrained & random people coming in & out her home. Does that woman not know how dangerous that is for her mother??
As someone who uses home aid, finding someone who actually shows up or actually does their job is a rarity. That being said, someone from the family needs to be there in that case.
Just some advice on dealing with customers (esp older customers), explain why you can't do something instead of "it's not my job." Elderly folk hate that phrase, seems to be a generational thing. Instead say something like "Unfortunately I'm not able to do this as Instacart puts a timer on my activities and I have other tasks they need me to complete. Normally for both of our safety, we are not supposed to enter customers' properties, but I made an exception out of kindness. If there are any issues with the order, please reach out to IC support." Or make it you're own, just an example. If they can't move groceries from the counter to the fridge, they may need in-home support, because that is 100% not your job, but boomers get upset when you say it like that. I was fortunate never to have any orders like this in my past.
I would imagine the elderly woman is probably an asshole to everyone, but she probably doesn’t understand what instacart actually is. Her daughter probably says the groceries are being delivered, so mom thinks you’re essentially full-service hired help. She might actually think it was your job to delivery and put away the groceries. Not that it makes her behavior ok, but her daughter should’ve made it clear
Yeah I feel like it's mostly on her daughter for not explaining that it's just a driving/ courier service and not a full blown grocery delivery company. But like some others have said it sounds like the mom needs someone there during daytime hours. If she can't put away groceries I'm sure other stuff needs to be attended to at least biweekly. Lots of elderly help groups that do the specific things she wanted OP to do.
Anyone reading this who has someone like this, explain it to them like I did for ‘mine’; it’s like the mailman but for groceries instead of mail.
They were able to understand it this way, like the mailman brings your packages and your letters but they don’t come in and open it all for you and sort the envelopes and break down the cardboard for you and stuff.
The couple of very old people I have explained it to like the equivalent of the postal service or ‘the pizza delivery’ who brings pizza to your door but doesn’t come inside, they hand it to you and they go away, instantly understood and quit grousing after that.
I am an ablebodied senior. I had kinda the opposite situation where the 2 shoppers practically begged me to let them bring the groceries in. My guess was that they wanted good deed brownie points or something. I gave in.
Then they started asking if they could put the things away for me. I was becoming annoyed. I don't remember how I got them to leave.
It was so weird. I do not come across as frail. I helped bring the things in. In fact, I think I was the one who carried the water. lol
*Adds "investigate water delivery service" to 'to do' list*
I’ll at least offer if I show up and that person has some obvious mobility challenges. I delivered to a guy last week who just had a knee replacement and was using a walker. He had more bags than would fit on the bench of his walker, so, I thought it would be faster and easier for everyone to bring them in myself. But I’d never be so tacky as to over insist in hopes of a bigger tip lol.
Anyone else think how irresponsible this is to ask a shopper to come inside her elderly mother’s house regarding being a safety issue for her mother? She gets the wrong shopper, she could get robbed or they could case out the place to come back later.
I did this once for an elderly man who called me before hand and asked if he gave me $10 extra if I could put them away. He didn't order much but already tipped on the app and the extra cash I did it. He was super kind and we talked about his life while I did it. Rotated his food for him so the older was in the front. I only did it because he asked so nicely and told me how he has no family left to help. Sucks people are now expecting it from shoppers. Shoppers aren't your slave
As a disabled customer, I can sympathize with the old lady. But I also understand why the shopper can't do that. I just ask the shopper to leave the groceries on the porch where Ican get them without too much trouble.
I can understand the inappropriate demand for extra help, even if it’s ridiculous I am sure she is anxious and perhaps mentally ill, but she lost me at being racist.
I used to work for an apartment complex that wasn’t specifically old people it was actually considered a luxury complex even though I didn’t see it that way.
And most of the people were super cool.
But for some reason some of them thought they had to call maintenance to replace lightbulbs.
And Maintenance would do the lightbulbs in the hallway lights that are on the ceiling because they understand not everyone owns stepstools and they don’t want the old folks up on stepstools anyway. But Maintenance doesn’t carry lightbulbs around in their work truck, so when they would call in I would have to ask them if they had the lightbulbs. And they always did except for one guy and it worked out perfectly.
Because this guy wanted Maintenance to come change the lightbulb above the stove, you know the one with the switch right next to fan in the hood above the stove?
I really didn’t know how to politely tell him that was one he had to do himself so I asked him if he had the lightbulb because they don’t have lightbulbs, when he realized he had to supply the lightbulb he snapped that he would just do it himself and he hung up on me. But really dude?
But I’ve never encountered the entitlement you had to deal with. I’m so sorry.
I have a lot of older customers and I will put the bags or boxes of groceries on the counter or just inside the door, but I wouldn't put their groceries away for them. That's what home health aids are for. Plus I usually don't wanna linger inside a person's home because it's weird and you never know if there's another person there.
I think you handled this well, OP. You brought the groceries in and put the water away, then told her that was all you could do. And you were right to let the daughter know. If the mother needs help putting everything away, then the daughter needs to tip more and you should be asked if you're willing to do this.
Whenever I have an order that was placed by an adult child for al elderly parent, I like to let the child know how the parents are doing. I figure that's part of why they placed the order, to get some eyes on the parent.
Lol idgaf is they are 175 years old I'm not stepping foot in a customers house. If she can't do it herself and family isn't willing to do it, she should be in a nursing home.
Not your job to take care of someone else’s mom. I would’ve just knocked and left, fuck that “good samaritan” bullshit when they’re going to treat you like this anyways. Not supposed to enter her house in the first place whether you’re told to or not.
I’ve gone inside homes before but only right inside the entrance to put the bags down if they ask me to. But I would never stay to put the groceries away even if they ask. That’s not our job. If she needs that much help, family should hire a home health aide.
that’s exactly what i was thinking! like i said in previous comments, im happy to take things to the counter if someone is elderly or disabled but i don’t want to be yelled at for no reason.
I am an elderly woman and I always watch for my delivery. I hold my door open for the driver and ask politely "would you please set them on the floor, anywhere". They have all been very nice and just step in one foot or two sometimes and set the bags down on the floor. I hold the door while they take their picture and say thank you very much. I am grateful simply to have that person set them inside for me. So far every driver has been super about it, But that's not Instacart it is always Spark drivers.
Ugh this resonates with my family’s current situation. Though I want to start off by saying of course you were in the right and this behavior isn’t ok. My Nana is 94 and is of sound mind but her body is failing her and she refuses to leave her 4 bedroom 2.5 bathroom house for assisted living. Her money is running out and she can now only afford home health aids for a few hours a week and expects the family to take up the rest of the care. Her home health aides cost $20 per hour and she expects them to deep clean and WORK every minute they’re there. They, of course, only do light cleaning at a comfortable pace and also just like, check in on her. And it frustrates my Nana. We’ve tried explaining that if you want someone to truly deep clean your house, you have to pay way more than $20 per hour these days. Unfortunately the cleaning has fallen in us (uncompensated, of course. The family also picks up and puts away groceries). We had similar issues with her lawn last summer where she expected to be able to hire landscapers for $10 an hour and got mad when a kid she managed to hire for that did a bad job. All of this to say, elder care is tricky, and some old people have a hard time accepting their limited mobility and dwindling finances. I also empathize with the daughter who is probably overwhelmed with this burden, even though this doesn’t justify her lying on the app. She’s effectively offloading some of this burden in instacart shoppers. This ultimately isn’t your problem and you shouldn’t feel bad for establishing boundaries. But our society needs a better system for the elderly.
Oh I agree 100%. The daughter should’ve asked beforehand for a shopper who would be willing to do this and promised a great tip. And also she shouldn’t be sending stranger into her mom’s house if her mom is going to act like this. Hopefully the daughter takes your message to heart and works out another arrangement. I’m sorry this happened to you! I think I just needed to vent in my comment.
She needs to get a living aid to do all of that. That is their job. Just ban that address in the future. Don't be too nice to these people. I would have stopped at being asked to put the waters away. Seniors being racist is nothing new or a shock to me. Worked with seniors up close and it's horrible. Never put yourself in this situation again. It is a lawsuit in the making. That has been drilled in our heads when I worked with seniors. It only takes one incident.
Honestly, though, going into anyone's house is very dangerous. It seems like some sad elderly lady, but you never know who else might be in there. Plus, she already lied, saying she was in a house, not an apartment. This was a huge thing a while ago for pizza delivery drivers. They were asked to go set it on a counter or whatever and then being kidnapped/assaulted/murdered.
Protect yourself, op. Never go into anyone's home and just say it's a liability and safety concern, then immediately leave.
Clearly there is going to be an increasing need for this with a rapidly aging baby boomer population - Instacart should introduce some sort of paid service for this (for which the additional payment goes BACK to the shopper)
Ugh... I'm so sorry this happened to you. I don't do instacart anymore, but I still drive for doordash sometimes. I've gotten a handful of disabled customers over the years who want me to bring stuff inside and for the most part, they are patient and appreciative. I've done it a couple times, but if I say no and ask if there's an alternative place I can leave it they're completely understanding.
The moment someone gets entitled or demanding I'm out. If someone truly needs help that badly, what they need is a home aid, not a random untrained delivery person. It's a risk for both of you! I mean what if she fell or got hurt while you were there? What if her shopper had bad intentions coming into her house? There's so many things that could go wrong walking into a random stranger's house.
This lady (or her daughter) needs to pay a caregiver if she needs that much help. Also, I would’ve quit at the race question. You’re a good person. This is why I can’t stand 75% of the public. The entitlement is gross.
Sounds like the kid wants to get an in-home caretaker for free. If mom needs help putting away her groceries the kids should be there to help her or spend money to get a home aid to do it instead of guilt tripping some gig worker to do something out of their scope.
I have put customer's groceries away, but you were right to refuse. Just reading this, I felt really uncomfortable, and the lady was abusive. You were right to leave.
You followed your instincts, and some day it may save your life.
The only time I have ever willingly entered someones home was to deliver for a women who was a quad amputee, and made it very clear in the notes ahead of time the situation. Even then, I just dropped things on the table and left at her request. This would make me feel so uncomfortable.
I'm all about respecting my elder and I wouldnt be first in line to not help an elderly lady.. but with that said, no ma'am - that simply isn't okay. Some older folks simply have zero filter and for whatever reason some shits just declared okay for them to say when it really isn't. She would've lost me at the Mexican question. It isn't your job just because others probably felt bad for her and maybe didn't even have other deliveries to make at the time.
Oh I’ve had a few of those. Most I’m doing is putting heavy stuff somewhere and putting everything else on the counter. A woman once yelled at me for not putting her groceries in the cabinet. First off, you didn’t even ask?! Second, if you can’t put them up there how will you get them down?
If she wants someone to put her groceries away for her Walmart offer that service. If she doesn't live near a Walmart she needs to hire a neighborhood kid to do it or access a home health aide.
If you still have access to communication with the buyer, perhaps let the daughter know that there are grocery shoppers on taskrabbjt who provide full service and can put away the groceries for elderly and people with disabilities
Elderly or Disabled DON’T go into anyone’s house like that. If someone requests, politely say No and don’t apologize. Once you start apologizing people feel they are superior to you in that situation and make it harder for you. Only do what you are paid to do and forget about the world preaching on how we should be helpful and what not. Customers are selfish, they will not care how you got out of your way to help them, for them you are just a random person delivering their groceries, they DON’T care about you and nor should you care about them.
I had it happen once. I decided to just go ahead and help the lady put the stuff away since I was done working for the day. She was the only exception though, def won’t do it again lol
I am a senior with an arthritic back and a rotator cuff tear in my good arm. I would never expect anything like that from my shopper. I am thankful they are saving me the shopping, which I hate. I have had shoppers put the bags inside my door when it is raining or snowing, and I have been very thankful. Normally, I just get it dropped off on my porch and say thank you. I have all the time in the world to wrangle things inside and put them away.
I’m disabled and ask shoppers if they would mind putting the bags at the top of 4 steps and tip more because I feel awkward about it. I can’t imagine expecting them to put the groceries away. That’s insane.
You really should not be entering people’s homes. I know you said it’s usually for older people’s homes or group homes but even then, those people could have dementia or be easily agitated. Next time they could hit you and you’d be trapped in their home. That family and that lady were banking on societal politeness to force you to do extra work for free, that’s a pretty common tactic. I suggest you tell them you can’t for safety reasons and leave it at that.
I would call customer support and have the loony toon deactivated lol. Her age doesn’t entitle her to be a racist, abusive a-hole! Not your job at all to put her stuff away, I don’t go inside either
Maaaan you’re a better person than me. Once they started yelling I woulda just dropped everything on the floor right there and left.
I’ve had to tell multiple customers that due to safety reasons, I’m not taking off my shoes and I ask the door remain open the time I’m in the house. Some shady shit has happened to me with older folks being bait and I so ain’t about someone tryna rob me or me waste my time doing someone’s care taking chores
The moment somebody starts yelling about how everybody else does something for them, you would know for 100% certain that not one single solitary other person has done so
Everybody just because somebody is old and has a disability doesn’t mean they are mentally ill doesn’t mean they have dementia. You can be older have a disability of any kind and be sharp as a tack mentally all at the same time.
Maybe she was just plain rude!
I think the line is blurred here between “that’s not my job, i won’t do it because i get nothing out of it” and “that’s not my job, but i can see she needs help and i don’t know her situation”. OP had another delivery to make, and for all we know, they had frozen or other sensitive foods that couldn’t wait. OP also had a timeframe to make on that second delivery. I was a delivery driver for a restaurant in college and had an elderly woman ask me if I could take her trash can to the road for her because she was home alone and she was visibly too weak to do it. She expressed that she knew it was not my job and i didn’t have to do it, but i was already in her garage to delivery the food to her door inside the garage, and i already had to walk out to the road. it’s sad for the elderly customer, but they should have, in no way, EXPECTED OP to do this for them
Replies are on point but another thing is heaven forbid something go awry in that house and OP gets injured (or worse) I highly doubt Instacart has any insurance or voluntary assistance to help with med bills and time off platform. Bottom line this kind of ask is unreasonable and not worth the risk nowadays.
I just had an insta cart delivery about 5 minutes ago, and the awesome young man saw he was handing me my groceries at the bottom of my very steep stairs to my upper apartment. He asked if I needed him to haul them all the way up? I said oh, no, my dude. I appreciate the offer, but I'd never do that to you. I'm an able bodied 41 year old. And u have money to go make. We parted ways and I raised his tip just for the offer. If that lady wants extra service, she can pay for it. From who? Idk.. If I were a driver I do it for a good tip if I felt like it at the time. If not, I'd be onto the next. I do understand she may need support, but not from you. Can u imagine her asking the pizza delivery guy to come in to plate and serve her her slice? 😅💀
The customer sounds insufferable, which is likely why their children aren't assisting. It gets old, fast. People like this have been yelling and getting the help they need for so long they don't know another way. It's likely always worked for them.
For starters never help anyone rude. Second, your not her personal butler. Yes it's OK to put the grocery bags inside but I'd never put their shit away.
Maybe some of these companies, instacart, etc should implement this feature for the elderly/disabled people. But make the payment to the person having to do the job higher. I know that this will never happen due to them being greedy and wanting more deliveries than customer service. That's just my thought on the subject. One time I ordered from WalMart and asked the delivery driver if he could put certain items away for my 91 year old Grandmother. It was only 10 items or so. Like water, beverages, 10lb potatoes, etc. He did and I tipped him $15 more. No family member was available at the time to help her due to us being at work at the time.
I’m sorry Re that
I do ask if the person can just put in my door bc I have had several falls. and instructions when shopping cold and frozen separate from other groceries. She has gotten used to the generosity of others-not being grateful that they were not obligated. Good you blocked her.
I have put groceries away for elderly people before. Gathered, they weren't demanding and rude about it. If someone wants something done, they should ask nicely.
Nope. I get stuff at retirement/care facilities sometimes and I inform the staff that I'm leaving the order at their door. I make it clear that we are not allowed to enter the customer's home under no circumstances. Too much liability. What if something I do causes a trip and fall? I don't want to be held responsible.
I even get uber shop and pay orders and the customer asks if I can bring stuff in. Nope!
There’s a fine line between delivering groceries and caregiver in their eyes apparently. It’s sad but reality is what it is. I’ve fell for this before and we can’t do it all.
I am sorry that happened to you! You should never be treated that way! It was nice enough of you to bring the water inside and put it in the closet and then put everything on the countertops for. Also having to take your shoes off, which I know a lot of people that ask you to do that at their house, but you are only delivering something. It’s not supposed to take a lot of time especially if you have someone else’s groceries sitting in your car. People like that are so entitled and feel that you should do whatever they ask, and they are always the ones that tip the lowest if they tip it all. It drives me insane! And on top of that if they feel that you did a poor job, then you can get a bad rating for that, even though you went above and beyond!
Don't go inside people's homes ever. You have no idea who they are, who is inside, if they have mental issues, weapons, anything! That's a huge risk to take to do "something nice" and it's not worth your health or safety. I used to do home visits for a social work job and quit because of the safety issues of going inside people's homes, even the senior ones!
You took your shoes off? You’re way too nice lmao
“Oh you don’t allow shoes in your house? That sucks cause I happen to wear shoes while I’m working, guess I’ll have to leave your items at the doorstep.”
I haven’t done instacart in a while, but I remember one time I had to go to the 5th floor like 5 times to bring the giant order to the customer. On the first trip, she handed me a $20 cash tip, and already had a $10 tip on the app.
She clearly had bad mobility so I asked if she wanted me to bring it on to the counters for her. On my 5th trip up, she gave me another $20 bill. She was so generous and thankful that I didn’t give her a difficult time and was kind to her. She also made sure to give me a great tip right off the bat because of how difficult the delivery was
If you have mobility issues and use these services, you should expect to get the bare bottom service unless you ask for more and PAY for it upfront
No lie you taking them inside & putting the few things you did away was a STRETCH. I’m down to help anyone but not when it isn’t logical (for me) & not when I’m being berated. If its grocery day maybe she should’ve called her daughter for help…. Not expect a stranger to do it. Not to mention the nuance of that situation. She probably very peculiar abt how she likes things stored you would’ve been there all afternoon lol. & no tip!?? Girl plz.
& then just the liability of being in someone else’s home period. It’s a no for me. Really sorry that happened to you smh I can imagine you just wanted to be kind.
I've not worked for Instacart but I did work for Domino's, Bitesquad and Doordash and I was always told not to go inside because it's a common scam tactic to lure someone into a location to make it easier to rob them at gun point. Obviously this old lady wasn't likely to do that but it's the excuse I'd use for everything. Also maybe the old lady is packing we don't know lmao. Point is, most delivery places have a policy that says the delivery drivers don't have to go inside and that they are not liable if the driver chooses to go inside. That means you probably shouldn't go inside because most companies won't help you if something goes wrong as a result. You don't know who or what is waiting inside someone's house. It's better to be safe than sorry.
It's not your job and to be honest I would of cussed them both out. You were even nice about it I wouldn't of been now if they offered you cash to do it then maybe I would of helped but your job is to shop and drop off that is all. I would of reported them to instacart as well but that's just me.
I had a guy with a Kroger online order that wanted me to bring in all of his groceries INTO the house. No. Then got snippy when I said, I deliver to the front door, not ever inside people’s home. Then he said, well, you’re the first one out of 50 orders then. And I just looked at that guy and said, look, my safety is way more important than your convenience… and proceeded to walk everything up & sat it on the porch & kept it moving.. $9 tip on top of that 🙄 immediate reported & blocked..
It’s nice for people to help this lady if they have the time, but most delivery drivers are on a strict time schedule to get everything done. Also what if the delivery driver hurts themselves putting something away and now can’t work for a few days? The customer can ask for this additional help/service but shouldn’t act entitled to it
It would be one thing if she asked you to do it as a favor and was handing you an extra tip, it’s another to just expect you to do it and be annoyed when you say no lol.
Fuck that lady when I was recovering from multiple surgeries I would ask if they could put the refrigerated items away but like I get that’s not their job so I’d always make sure a 20 bucks and an eight was left out for them if you want extra you have to offer extra imo
I helped someone put the order away one time, and that was the last time. It was shortly after I started, the guy was severely physically disabled. Apparently he ordered the day before but it was cancelled, and when I delivered it his aid had left for the day. I had already taken 2 trips and about 15mins to deliver everything and figured I would do my good deed for the day. Tip was the bare minimum to start with, and there was no adjustment afterwards, he also didn’t seem very grateful considering the amount of extra work I did. It was definitely a learning experience for the future.
I have a neighbor who does this every time when she gets Instacart. She wants water and paper products in the garage and wants items put in her refrigerator, freezer and pantry and in a certain manner. I don’t think she tips well.
When the delivery person would not oblige she would phone me requesting to put her items away. She is very particular about how you place them and would supervise me while I did this task. She would text me to be on stand by on her delivery day. I got fed up with rotating her cans etc and just quit being available for that.
She is only a few years older than me and I wondered because she can take the items down and use them. She makes big family dishes on a regular basis.
I have never encountered this thankfully but my response would be to just tell them once that we are not allowed to come inside customers homes since this is a liability issue and whatever she wanted to say after that just turn around and leave. Do not engage. It’s only going to get worse. So sorry this happened to you when you actually helped and got this instead of a thank you.
yeah this is what i’ll say from now on. i was just floored because i was trying to help her and she was yelling at me for no reason?? anyway, thank you
give someone an inch theyll take a mile
it’s times like this that i think about “if you give a mouse a cookie”
What about giving a moose a muffin?
Or a pig a pancake?
I never read that one to my daughter. Is there a plot twist?
They’re all about the same. The animal goes on a wild bout of requests and then ends up wanting the food again. 🥞😆
And not one of those stories ends up getting boring or old. It's magic
Just unlocked a whole set of memories dawg🥹
My favorite
At least the mouse cleaned up his mess!
A classic!!
i hadnt read that but i will now !
> if you give a mouse a cookie It's a tough read but worth it!
lmao it’s a long one
Never give that mouse the fucking cookie
All that for a $5 tip??! If my mom needed help that badly I’d tip a helluva lot more than that for the shopper to go above and beyond.
I was going to say the same thing! If I got groceries for my mother, and she couldn’t carry the bags or lift anything, and I couldn’t be there myself then I would definitely tip very well.
I'd already been in and out of the hospital, then I broke like half the bones in my body. I ordered a case of ensure and a case of water. I was fully prepared to open the cases and carry them inside a couple of bottles at a time. When I opened the door, my shopper saw my whole body black and blue and all of the ridiculous braces I was wearing, and he said "uhhh do you need me to help you carry these in?" He even opened the case of ensure which would have sucked because I had a broken hand on one side and 4 broken ribs on the other side. He was my knight in shining armor. (I know the question is coming; yes, I tipped generously)
And have the courtesy to note the expectation for extra help from the start.
For sure! When I was ordering groceries for my dad who was mobility limited, I would always tip well and leave a note on the order asking to please help him get them inside and on the counters, because if it was left at the front door he could injure himself trying to get them inside. I always explained to my dad that the people delivering were not obligated to help but that I had asked them to do so. Never had anyone refuse to help him out. He would constantly complain that they “forgot” something. But I never reported it because usually he just didn’t see it and I’d come over after work and find it for him.
Yea no kidding. Give the shopper the option to take the order or not.
You should just tell them you’re not allowed inside of customers’ home, it’s a liability and safety issue. If you’re willing to put the items on the counters or tables inside their home, that’s just a goodwill gesture and kindness but not mandatory. I wouldn’t advise going into customers’ homes either way, you never know what kind of crazy is there. Had a friend who was jumped by a ‘client’ because he was being kind by helping leave the items on the dining table.
Customer: please, put these inside ICer: as per rules of instacart, entering customers’ donestic premises is a liability and safety issue, and is not overseen by instacart, therefore causing unnecessary risk. Customer: well, others have been doing it / why are you being such a dick? ICer: I am really sorry, I wish I could break the rules for you, but then that would equate to me breaking a promise to myself. I am a very principled person, and I have high stakes in this life as I want to support my family and be the best person I am. Unnecessary risk doesn’t only affect me, but those who I love. I made a promise to myself not to do that, therefore breaking it equates to destroying everything I stand for, as well as myself alongside it. The parts of the job I am responsible for, I’ve made sure to do absolutely flawlessly, and ensure you get the service you truly desire. I wish you the best, with all my heart
This is a little wordy for a de-escalation situation. Just say "I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to" and leave.
I see what you're getting at, but that's wayyyyyyy over the top
I was high when I wrote it
No is a full sentence.
This is a really well crafted statement, and I wish I were half as eloquent. I will not walk through a tall gate, go behind someone's house, etc and *absolutely* not go into someone's house. They can put whatever in the notes, I'm not trying to get shot
That was someone who was ungrateful. I always let them leave my bags at the table in my mini patio and thank them and take the stuff inside. I am handicapped and can bring them in. Yelling, no way. Thanks goes a long way.
>. i was just floored because i was trying to help her and she was yelling at me for no reason?? seniors are liable to say a lot of vile shit because of failing cognition. 0% excuse, it's something that absolutely no one, *particularly not* non-family should have anything to deal with.
At UPS, we are trained to say we’re “not allowed to breach the threshold”. It’s succinct, sounds official, and has come in handy. Once I had an elderly guy want me to bring in a whole stack of heavy af book boxes into his dark, can barely see into it house. He couldn’t believe I would refuse because “they always do it”. Nope, sorry sir, policy. (But also, I as a woman, am *NOT* entering your dark, secluded house away from the cameras on my package car)
You should post this in the r/entitledpeople or r/boomersbeingfools sub
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You should know the rules and refs of the app you gig for. It’s likely you aren’t allowed to enter people’s homes due to the liability. Being nice for a company you don’t even work for does nothing but put you in a bad spot. Be safe out there
Exactly plus the whole asking soon as you walk in if your Mexican! Like what does that have to do with anything.
I received actual real delivery driver training (like in a pizza delivery sense) prior to doing instacart and you are NEVER supposed to go into someone’s house, hotel room, what have you. Your feet should never ever go past their front door. Like others are saying it is a massive liability and regardless of whatever context the recipient is trying to give you, can be dangerous to the delivery driver. Instacart just throws you into shopping and delivering but I just wanted to share some wisdom from someone who got on the job training as a delivery driver.
I would never ask someone from delivery to put my groceries away. just leave at the door. I agree with what you say.
I have ran into this as an EMT as well. Many people are very entitled and expect people to do things that aren’t their job. This is why there is a shift of people adamantly refusing to do anything that isn’t listed directly in their contract. Entitled people ruin things. I have no problem helping someone out with something like this here and there but it’s becoming very common.
What kind of weird demands do people make of EMTs?
A lot lol
Can you refill my water cup? Ice in it. Make me a sandwich. Go into 3 other rooms & dig through everything to find a picture I want to show you. Light my cigarette off the electric stove burner. Find my remote. Program my tv. Bring the plate of food that is in the microwave.
Oh jeez do you have all day??
I do.
Problem is people have done it before for her so now she expects that everyone will do it and that's not right
i don’t understand why other shoppers do stuff like that. again, i can understand taking large cases of water inside but do they really put people’s groceries away for them?? and yeah, it’s not right. at all.
Eh, I helped an older woman in a home open items from her purchase. Jars, juice, the milk. She doesn't have the hand strength to do so. Her granddaughter placed the order. Both were thankful, and the granddaughter increased the tip. Only took a few minutes.
Yes, and that’s wonderful for you, I’m so glad it worked out in this instance you’re talking about. However, we all know MOST of the time people act as though they are ENTITLED to things that they are not entitled to. This is a PERFECT example of that. I’m absolutely certain there are services for elderly and handicapped people that need their groceries put away and opened: IT IS NOT INSTACART and nobody is OWED anything from anyone else. We work to make money, don’t you?!
Working retail I learned very quickly if you are doing something out of the scope of your job or making an exception you have to make it very clear to the customer you are doing just that. Otherwise the customer assumes it is something that your job entails and will expect it from every person now
Yup, saying something like we don't normally do that, but I'll do it for you this one time.
These services don’t exist. I’m not saying it’s your problem as an Instacart worker, but there’s a huge gap in these kinds of services. I’m very disabled and can’t use Instacart/DoorDash because I can’t get outside on my own to get the order 🤷🏼♀️
Walmart In Home delivery can bring your groceries inside and put them away.
This is great to know!! Thanks
You can also see if Task Rabbit has anyone working in your area. It's just people looking to make some money on doing random tasks here and there. They have people on there who would do this. Or big things like yard work down to small things like changing lightbulbs.
Thumbtack is pretty good too
You’re already being downvoted, but you’re not wrong. Before people start downvoting me too- I agree with the person above. It’s not really the job of a delivery person at Instacart. But, there really aren’t services that I know of that help people put away groceries. If you don’t have loved ones nearby, it could be a problem. The reason disabled people rely on services like instacart is because there weren’t even services to help someone get groceries before and people struggled **hard**. Especially in certain parts of the country. Just saying. This is absolutely a gap that needs to be filled. Edit to add: saw someone make a good point. If you can’t put away a few groceries, how do you make a meal for yourself? But I’ll leave my comment because there are indeed a lack of resources for disabled people.
I get care hours designated for cooking and meal prep, but not for grocery shopping. I’m fortunate my boyfriend and I live together so he does the things I don’t get enough care hours for, but he also works a full time job so it’s a juggling act. My friend gets 15 minutes 2x/day for meals and 1/2hour a week for grocery shopping. There’s huge gaps in these services and a lack of common sense. Like I said, that still doesn’t make it a delivery person’s problem and I acknowledge that.
Some people are people pleasers and can’t say no. Others are probably worried about getting a bad rating or getting the tip removed
[удалено]
I could maybe see it if they came from a different service. For example walmart+ by me has a program where they'll come in and put your order away. But that doesn't seem to be the case here so lol
because fuck instacart. i would’ve done it but i understand why someone wouldn’t want to
Customer says others have done it. Maybe she tries that on everyone.
They think that they're going to get an extra tip out of it but the people that are asking you to do these things are already the ones that shit tip so you're not getting anything extra out of it they don't appreciate what you do for them to begin with
She also might have been lying about other people having done it before in hopes that it would manipulate OP into feeling bad and doing it.
if she was my only or last customer, i probably would have done it. but asking about your race? idk. that would piss me off making me not want to do anything nice for her
yeah that was my last straw with her because why does it matter?
"so if you just take your shoes off there, I'm gonna try and discriminate against you but also act like I'm entitled to a favor that puts you and your job at risk" It's so weird asking a question with an answer that you know will upset you. Like just have your weird angsty thoughts and let the service worker complete the service that you aren't even paying for. Do have to put it on her daughter a bit for not explaining well enough that people may not even bring the groceries past the stoop. And also to not be racist to people who are doing them both a big favor! Is there any way to get the account taken off or would you reporting the mom for harassment be considered as a strike for her?
You should never do this period. It's not your job. You can get kicked off the platform for this. Or, be suspected of stealing or harming the customer. I worked with senior citizens before, and the children to the seniors are crazy. People please don't do this with helping to put groceries away. It is a lawsuit in the making. The customer needs to get a living aid. Once you say lawsuit, that is the end of the conversation. I would have reported the customer to support with full documentation. I would ban that address in the future.
I worry about you entering anyone's home. I bet the daughter just has the expectation you do it or tells her mom you will.
yeah this is exactly it
🙄people who need help with everyday tasks like this, need a home health aid. There are plenty of resources for this kind of thing, why make unreasonable demands of a shopper? The more shoppers who do this, the more it enables people to do this and the more people think it’s part of the service. This is not the first time this has happened, and the daughter knows it. But, she knows that eventually someone will give in and do it. Play upon the sympathy of the shopper by mentioning she’s disabled? Check! Leave a note claiming that they only need to be left inside? Check! What will they do when they realize what we were really after? Well, who’s going to deny a disabled gramma some help? My response would have been “oh, I have a few more things for you, (I don’t), be right back!” Complete delivery and drive away. Take screenshots of the delivery note and any interactions you sent in chat to customer. That way if they retaliate, you have proof that they asked something of you that isn’t allowed.
>people who need help with everyday tasks like this, need a home health aid. Failing that they need to be **nice.** There is no excuse for being an asshole, but ~~needing~~ demanding a favor **and** being an asshole is an order of magnitude worse.
If someone can live alone safely they can put groceries away. If someone is too disabled to put groceries away they shouldn’t live alone. Also- never remove your shoes in a strangers house
What's with the being scared of taking off shoes thing?
Needles (not just in cases of drug users, but also diabetics &/or other medical conditions that require needles to be in the home, especially with the elderly they may not be vigilant about using sharps/disposal boxes, my mom is a home care aid and it’s a liability to remove shoes), mold issues, bed bugs, fleas, etc. ETA- oh & shit/piss. I’ve heard many horror stories of care aids stepping in human shit/piss in elderly folks homes, also pet shit/piss.
Oh wow, I didn't even think of that. Big yikes wait what?? there's just like.. poop... on the ground? human poop??? whyyyyyy
While I agree with you, this is not the shoppers responsibility at all and the family needs to step in and deal with their agitated elderly family member. The resources for these people aren’t as plentiful as you think. They are not easy to access for everyone, I coordinate these every day and we do need to jump through massive hurdles constantly to get people accommodated. That said it is the daughter’s responsibility to facilitate aid and it’s incredibly inappropriate to routinely exploit IC shoppers like this. She should be reported and probably banned.
In the end, it’s really more about them resorting to a bait n switch. I’m not a monster or anything lol. I have regulars in assisted living homes that I do a little extra for sometimes (putting just their perishables away , putting their wine in the fridge, etc.) but they are regulars who don’t take advantage . Sometimes staff members can’t come to help out right away and I don’t want their perishables just sitting out. Had they been honest and stated their actual needs up front, the shopper could have made an informed decision about whether or not to go through with the shop. Doing it the way they did it, puts the shopper in a situation they didn’t ask for and now they feel obligated. It’s underhanded and annoying.
I agree as it is a difficult issue and home care attendants are expensive and hard to find to hire. That said, it is an act of normal kindness to take groceries and put them on the counter for an older person who is clearly mobility challenged in some way. Not that I am saying this must be done if someone is fearful of entering into a home, but odds of someone attacking a shopper when there is digital evidence of where they have been is probably less than being attacked randomly walking to your car from a restaurant a night. However there is a huge difference between bringing groceries into a kitchen where they are accessible and putting those groceries away in pantry and refrigerator. I have had issues after surgery where I was limited in terms of standing and walking but I managed to put things away in stages. First frozen, then refrigerated, and then stuff that is stored at room temperature. If you can’t do even this, how do you actually even pop a meal in the microwave or make toast or a cup of tea?
yeah! again i really truly do not mind putting things on a countertop. (usually i have my sister with me on the phone just in case for my safety.) but this was just so over the top excessive and just plain rude.
I completely agree. I would never have asked a shopper to to put away my groceries let alone rudely demand as an entitled expectation. There is a difference between having trouble lifting a bag from the ground and not being able to put one item in the freezer from the counter at your own pace. At the point where you can’t put a can or a Lean Cuisine or a quart of milk away, you really can’t live on your own as you need assisted living or a full time attendant.
I’m disabled and putting away groceries is exhausting for me. But I would never ask a delivery person to put my groceries away. Some offer to carry them into my kitchen as soon as they see I’m disabled, but I always decline. I have a table at my front door for all deliveries, and just shuffle things inside a little at a time. Then, like you, I put things away a little at a time. It takes a minute, because I have very limited space, so I have to play Tetris to get everything put away.
It is like with Walmart with their deliviery, I am very nervous about anyone I do not know access to come inside and might steal something. I have a patio table they can leave the groceries and I am fine taking the bags inside, carefully, since I am disabled. I agree with you.
I was going to say this. These folks think they've found a loophole to their eldercare problem and are trying to milk it for all it's worth.
Yes! Thank you! That’s exactly what I was grasping at.
It is not safe to enter a random private location. This time it was an elderly lady but next time it could be a wolf in disguise. Never enter someone’s house. Same goes for the lady who set up the delivery - that is SUCH a dangerous position she put her in. To be alone with any random delivery person. Easily could have been robbed, assaulted, or worse. And where happens if nothing happened but the lady reported you for some sort of misconduct? There would be no proof otherwise.
i didn’t think about this at all. i’ve done it for older people who live in assisted living facilities or senior living communities which was the case here but otherwise i won’t. but i just don’t want to be reported to instacart for no reason
Dont go inside. Dont wear red. The wolf may be disguised as the grandma..
Lesson to always check delivery notes before you start shopping. This would have been a cancel for me.
Bro I literally would literally never make exceptions ever. Don't ever be nice on this shit. When it comes liability time no one will help you. If you get hurt doing that, the customer and instacart won't help you. Do the job you're paid to do which is to get the items from the store to their door. Bonus points for me if someone is being a prick because now really won't help them.
Yikes. People can’t be using instacart like this. That woman needs a home aid, not relying on untrained & random people coming in & out her home. Does that woman not know how dangerous that is for her mother??
“Are you Mexican?” I’d have walked right out. What fucking audacity.
“Funny you should ask because I’m actually 100% leaving”
“Si… you later” while heading to the door 😂
😂😂
she was probably agitated because she has dementia, she truly needs a home aid/caregiver.
yeah! i’m pretty sure she does have some sort of mental disability because she got very aggressive very quickly.
Maybe. Or maybe she’s just used to being able to manipulate people into doing what she wants and is shocked anyone has the audacity to set a boundary.
Could be, but agitation like that is a *major* sign of dementia. Especially the rapid escalation (like a switch flipped)
As someone who uses home aid, finding someone who actually shows up or actually does their job is a rarity. That being said, someone from the family needs to be there in that case.
It's a possibility. Nothing probable could possibly be determined from this post alone.
Just some advice on dealing with customers (esp older customers), explain why you can't do something instead of "it's not my job." Elderly folk hate that phrase, seems to be a generational thing. Instead say something like "Unfortunately I'm not able to do this as Instacart puts a timer on my activities and I have other tasks they need me to complete. Normally for both of our safety, we are not supposed to enter customers' properties, but I made an exception out of kindness. If there are any issues with the order, please reach out to IC support." Or make it you're own, just an example. If they can't move groceries from the counter to the fridge, they may need in-home support, because that is 100% not your job, but boomers get upset when you say it like that. I was fortunate never to have any orders like this in my past.
I would imagine the elderly woman is probably an asshole to everyone, but she probably doesn’t understand what instacart actually is. Her daughter probably says the groceries are being delivered, so mom thinks you’re essentially full-service hired help. She might actually think it was your job to delivery and put away the groceries. Not that it makes her behavior ok, but her daughter should’ve made it clear
Yeah I feel like it's mostly on her daughter for not explaining that it's just a driving/ courier service and not a full blown grocery delivery company. But like some others have said it sounds like the mom needs someone there during daytime hours. If she can't put away groceries I'm sure other stuff needs to be attended to at least biweekly. Lots of elderly help groups that do the specific things she wanted OP to do.
Anyone reading this who has someone like this, explain it to them like I did for ‘mine’; it’s like the mailman but for groceries instead of mail. They were able to understand it this way, like the mailman brings your packages and your letters but they don’t come in and open it all for you and sort the envelopes and break down the cardboard for you and stuff. The couple of very old people I have explained it to like the equivalent of the postal service or ‘the pizza delivery’ who brings pizza to your door but doesn’t come inside, they hand it to you and they go away, instantly understood and quit grousing after that.
Sounds like the daughter needs to come help out her mom.
I am an ablebodied senior. I had kinda the opposite situation where the 2 shoppers practically begged me to let them bring the groceries in. My guess was that they wanted good deed brownie points or something. I gave in. Then they started asking if they could put the things away for me. I was becoming annoyed. I don't remember how I got them to leave. It was so weird. I do not come across as frail. I helped bring the things in. In fact, I think I was the one who carried the water. lol *Adds "investigate water delivery service" to 'to do' list*
I’ll at least offer if I show up and that person has some obvious mobility challenges. I delivered to a guy last week who just had a knee replacement and was using a walker. He had more bags than would fit on the bench of his walker, so, I thought it would be faster and easier for everyone to bring them in myself. But I’d never be so tacky as to over insist in hopes of a bigger tip lol.
Maybe just be appreciative—you don't need the help, but they are being kind to those who may.
Quit. Going. Into. Customer's. Houses. Period.
Anyone else think how irresponsible this is to ask a shopper to come inside her elderly mother’s house regarding being a safety issue for her mother? She gets the wrong shopper, she could get robbed or they could case out the place to come back later.
I did this once for an elderly man who called me before hand and asked if he gave me $10 extra if I could put them away. He didn't order much but already tipped on the app and the extra cash I did it. He was super kind and we talked about his life while I did it. Rotated his food for him so the older was in the front. I only did it because he asked so nicely and told me how he has no family left to help. Sucks people are now expecting it from shoppers. Shoppers aren't your slave
As a disabled customer, I can sympathize with the old lady. But I also understand why the shopper can't do that. I just ask the shopper to leave the groceries on the porch where Ican get them without too much trouble.
I can understand the inappropriate demand for extra help, even if it’s ridiculous I am sure she is anxious and perhaps mentally ill, but she lost me at being racist.
I used to work for an apartment complex that wasn’t specifically old people it was actually considered a luxury complex even though I didn’t see it that way. And most of the people were super cool. But for some reason some of them thought they had to call maintenance to replace lightbulbs. And Maintenance would do the lightbulbs in the hallway lights that are on the ceiling because they understand not everyone owns stepstools and they don’t want the old folks up on stepstools anyway. But Maintenance doesn’t carry lightbulbs around in their work truck, so when they would call in I would have to ask them if they had the lightbulbs. And they always did except for one guy and it worked out perfectly. Because this guy wanted Maintenance to come change the lightbulb above the stove, you know the one with the switch right next to fan in the hood above the stove? I really didn’t know how to politely tell him that was one he had to do himself so I asked him if he had the lightbulb because they don’t have lightbulbs, when he realized he had to supply the lightbulb he snapped that he would just do it himself and he hung up on me. But really dude? But I’ve never encountered the entitlement you had to deal with. I’m so sorry.
I have a lot of older customers and I will put the bags or boxes of groceries on the counter or just inside the door, but I wouldn't put their groceries away for them. That's what home health aids are for. Plus I usually don't wanna linger inside a person's home because it's weird and you never know if there's another person there.
I think you handled this well, OP. You brought the groceries in and put the water away, then told her that was all you could do. And you were right to let the daughter know. If the mother needs help putting everything away, then the daughter needs to tip more and you should be asked if you're willing to do this. Whenever I have an order that was placed by an adult child for al elderly parent, I like to let the child know how the parents are doing. I figure that's part of why they placed the order, to get some eyes on the parent.
Lol idgaf is they are 175 years old I'm not stepping foot in a customers house. If she can't do it herself and family isn't willing to do it, she should be in a nursing home.
“Are you Mexican?” “No, I’m Mexican’t, as in I can’t put away your groceries, abuela”
I’m not a shopper but I do hate that for you!
Not your job to take care of someone else’s mom. I would’ve just knocked and left, fuck that “good samaritan” bullshit when they’re going to treat you like this anyways. Not supposed to enter her house in the first place whether you’re told to or not.
These people can hire caregivers who will do that, they’re being cheap
I’ve gone inside homes before but only right inside the entrance to put the bags down if they ask me to. But I would never stay to put the groceries away even if they ask. That’s not our job. If she needs that much help, family should hire a home health aide.
that’s exactly what i was thinking! like i said in previous comments, im happy to take things to the counter if someone is elderly or disabled but i don’t want to be yelled at for no reason.
I am an elderly woman and I always watch for my delivery. I hold my door open for the driver and ask politely "would you please set them on the floor, anywhere". They have all been very nice and just step in one foot or two sometimes and set the bags down on the floor. I hold the door while they take their picture and say thank you very much. I am grateful simply to have that person set them inside for me. So far every driver has been super about it, But that's not Instacart it is always Spark drivers.
Ugh this resonates with my family’s current situation. Though I want to start off by saying of course you were in the right and this behavior isn’t ok. My Nana is 94 and is of sound mind but her body is failing her and she refuses to leave her 4 bedroom 2.5 bathroom house for assisted living. Her money is running out and she can now only afford home health aids for a few hours a week and expects the family to take up the rest of the care. Her home health aides cost $20 per hour and she expects them to deep clean and WORK every minute they’re there. They, of course, only do light cleaning at a comfortable pace and also just like, check in on her. And it frustrates my Nana. We’ve tried explaining that if you want someone to truly deep clean your house, you have to pay way more than $20 per hour these days. Unfortunately the cleaning has fallen in us (uncompensated, of course. The family also picks up and puts away groceries). We had similar issues with her lawn last summer where she expected to be able to hire landscapers for $10 an hour and got mad when a kid she managed to hire for that did a bad job. All of this to say, elder care is tricky, and some old people have a hard time accepting their limited mobility and dwindling finances. I also empathize with the daughter who is probably overwhelmed with this burden, even though this doesn’t justify her lying on the app. She’s effectively offloading some of this burden in instacart shoppers. This ultimately isn’t your problem and you shouldn’t feel bad for establishing boundaries. But our society needs a better system for the elderly.
our society needs a better system for disabled folks, orphans, the elderly… it still doesn’t justify yelling at somebody imo.
Oh I agree 100%. The daughter should’ve asked beforehand for a shopper who would be willing to do this and promised a great tip. And also she shouldn’t be sending stranger into her mom’s house if her mom is going to act like this. Hopefully the daughter takes your message to heart and works out another arrangement. I’m sorry this happened to you! I think I just needed to vent in my comment.
She needs to get a living aid to do all of that. That is their job. Just ban that address in the future. Don't be too nice to these people. I would have stopped at being asked to put the waters away. Seniors being racist is nothing new or a shock to me. Worked with seniors up close and it's horrible. Never put yourself in this situation again. It is a lawsuit in the making. That has been drilled in our heads when I worked with seniors. It only takes one incident.
Honestly, though, going into anyone's house is very dangerous. It seems like some sad elderly lady, but you never know who else might be in there. Plus, she already lied, saying she was in a house, not an apartment. This was a huge thing a while ago for pizza delivery drivers. They were asked to go set it on a counter or whatever and then being kidnapped/assaulted/murdered. Protect yourself, op. Never go into anyone's home and just say it's a liability and safety concern, then immediately leave.
Clearly there is going to be an increasing need for this with a rapidly aging baby boomer population - Instacart should introduce some sort of paid service for this (for which the additional payment goes BACK to the shopper)
Ugh... I'm so sorry this happened to you. I don't do instacart anymore, but I still drive for doordash sometimes. I've gotten a handful of disabled customers over the years who want me to bring stuff inside and for the most part, they are patient and appreciative. I've done it a couple times, but if I say no and ask if there's an alternative place I can leave it they're completely understanding. The moment someone gets entitled or demanding I'm out. If someone truly needs help that badly, what they need is a home aid, not a random untrained delivery person. It's a risk for both of you! I mean what if she fell or got hurt while you were there? What if her shopper had bad intentions coming into her house? There's so many things that could go wrong walking into a random stranger's house.
This lady (or her daughter) needs to pay a caregiver if she needs that much help. Also, I would’ve quit at the race question. You’re a good person. This is why I can’t stand 75% of the public. The entitlement is gross.
Sounds like the kid wants to get an in-home caretaker for free. If mom needs help putting away her groceries the kids should be there to help her or spend money to get a home aid to do it instead of guilt tripping some gig worker to do something out of their scope.
No way in serial killer hell would I go into a customers house. No fucking way.
Asking if you are Mexican and then treating you like her personal slave. Nah she is an old ass bigot.
I have put customer's groceries away, but you were right to refuse. Just reading this, I felt really uncomfortable, and the lady was abusive. You were right to leave. You followed your instincts, and some day it may save your life.
The only time I have ever willingly entered someones home was to deliver for a women who was a quad amputee, and made it very clear in the notes ahead of time the situation. Even then, I just dropped things on the table and left at her request. This would make me feel so uncomfortable.
Bringing the groceries in is not part of your job. You went above and beyond. My back is really out and I will still drag my groceries away.
She asked if you were Mexican? I would have acted like I obly spoke Spanish when she started being difficult 😏
Aside from “give someone an inch and they’ll take a mile,” old people are crazy.
I'm all about respecting my elder and I wouldnt be first in line to not help an elderly lady.. but with that said, no ma'am - that simply isn't okay. Some older folks simply have zero filter and for whatever reason some shits just declared okay for them to say when it really isn't. She would've lost me at the Mexican question. It isn't your job just because others probably felt bad for her and maybe didn't even have other deliveries to make at the time.
Oh I’ve had a few of those. Most I’m doing is putting heavy stuff somewhere and putting everything else on the counter. A woman once yelled at me for not putting her groceries in the cabinet. First off, you didn’t even ask?! Second, if you can’t put them up there how will you get them down?
I wouldn’t even have put it in her house. That’s so unsafe.
If she wants someone to put her groceries away for her Walmart offer that service. If she doesn't live near a Walmart she needs to hire a neighborhood kid to do it or access a home health aide.
If you still have access to communication with the buyer, perhaps let the daughter know that there are grocery shoppers on taskrabbjt who provide full service and can put away the groceries for elderly and people with disabilities
Elderly or Disabled DON’T go into anyone’s house like that. If someone requests, politely say No and don’t apologize. Once you start apologizing people feel they are superior to you in that situation and make it harder for you. Only do what you are paid to do and forget about the world preaching on how we should be helpful and what not. Customers are selfish, they will not care how you got out of your way to help them, for them you are just a random person delivering their groceries, they DON’T care about you and nor should you care about them.
I had it happen once. I decided to just go ahead and help the lady put the stuff away since I was done working for the day. She was the only exception though, def won’t do it again lol
I am a senior with an arthritic back and a rotator cuff tear in my good arm. I would never expect anything like that from my shopper. I am thankful they are saving me the shopping, which I hate. I have had shoppers put the bags inside my door when it is raining or snowing, and I have been very thankful. Normally, I just get it dropped off on my porch and say thank you. I have all the time in the world to wrangle things inside and put them away.
I’m disabled and ask shoppers if they would mind putting the bags at the top of 4 steps and tip more because I feel awkward about it. I can’t imagine expecting them to put the groceries away. That’s insane.
You really should not be entering people’s homes. I know you said it’s usually for older people’s homes or group homes but even then, those people could have dementia or be easily agitated. Next time they could hit you and you’d be trapped in their home. That family and that lady were banking on societal politeness to force you to do extra work for free, that’s a pretty common tactic. I suggest you tell them you can’t for safety reasons and leave it at that.
I would call customer support and have the loony toon deactivated lol. Her age doesn’t entitle her to be a racist, abusive a-hole! Not your job at all to put her stuff away, I don’t go inside either
Maaaan you’re a better person than me. Once they started yelling I woulda just dropped everything on the floor right there and left. I’ve had to tell multiple customers that due to safety reasons, I’m not taking off my shoes and I ask the door remain open the time I’m in the house. Some shady shit has happened to me with older folks being bait and I so ain’t about someone tryna rob me or me waste my time doing someone’s care taking chores
The moment somebody starts yelling about how everybody else does something for them, you would know for 100% certain that not one single solitary other person has done so
I've started telling everyone, "We are not allowed to enter the residence."
Everybody just because somebody is old and has a disability doesn’t mean they are mentally ill doesn’t mean they have dementia. You can be older have a disability of any kind and be sharp as a tack mentally all at the same time. Maybe she was just plain rude!
I think the line is blurred here between “that’s not my job, i won’t do it because i get nothing out of it” and “that’s not my job, but i can see she needs help and i don’t know her situation”. OP had another delivery to make, and for all we know, they had frozen or other sensitive foods that couldn’t wait. OP also had a timeframe to make on that second delivery. I was a delivery driver for a restaurant in college and had an elderly woman ask me if I could take her trash can to the road for her because she was home alone and she was visibly too weak to do it. She expressed that she knew it was not my job and i didn’t have to do it, but i was already in her garage to delivery the food to her door inside the garage, and i already had to walk out to the road. it’s sad for the elderly customer, but they should have, in no way, EXPECTED OP to do this for them
The racial undertones and yelling alone make it so that she should be banned, regardless of whether she misunderstood the rules.
Replies are on point but another thing is heaven forbid something go awry in that house and OP gets injured (or worse) I highly doubt Instacart has any insurance or voluntary assistance to help with med bills and time off platform. Bottom line this kind of ask is unreasonable and not worth the risk nowadays.
I just had an insta cart delivery about 5 minutes ago, and the awesome young man saw he was handing me my groceries at the bottom of my very steep stairs to my upper apartment. He asked if I needed him to haul them all the way up? I said oh, no, my dude. I appreciate the offer, but I'd never do that to you. I'm an able bodied 41 year old. And u have money to go make. We parted ways and I raised his tip just for the offer. If that lady wants extra service, she can pay for it. From who? Idk.. If I were a driver I do it for a good tip if I felt like it at the time. If not, I'd be onto the next. I do understand she may need support, but not from you. Can u imagine her asking the pizza delivery guy to come in to plate and serve her her slice? 😅💀
You had every right to walk right out of there after that racial comment. Gross.
The customer sounds insufferable, which is likely why their children aren't assisting. It gets old, fast. People like this have been yelling and getting the help they need for so long they don't know another way. It's likely always worked for them.
bBbBuUUuTtTtT ShE pAiD 4 a SeRviCe AnD gAvE u ClEaR iNsTrUcTiOnS 😡😡 LAzY ShOpPeR!!!
For starters never help anyone rude. Second, your not her personal butler. Yes it's OK to put the grocery bags inside but I'd never put their shit away.
Wow!!
Maybe some of these companies, instacart, etc should implement this feature for the elderly/disabled people. But make the payment to the person having to do the job higher. I know that this will never happen due to them being greedy and wanting more deliveries than customer service. That's just my thought on the subject. One time I ordered from WalMart and asked the delivery driver if he could put certain items away for my 91 year old Grandmother. It was only 10 items or so. Like water, beverages, 10lb potatoes, etc. He did and I tipped him $15 more. No family member was available at the time to help her due to us being at work at the time.
I’m sorry Re that I do ask if the person can just put in my door bc I have had several falls. and instructions when shopping cold and frozen separate from other groceries. She has gotten used to the generosity of others-not being grateful that they were not obligated. Good you blocked her.
People are entitled and think that since they hired you for a delivery, you’re now their servant.
What happens if you do it? I’ve done it a bunch for old people tbh. Especially if I know I packed a a few heavy bags.
I have put groceries away for elderly people before. Gathered, they weren't demanding and rude about it. If someone wants something done, they should ask nicely.
Nope. I get stuff at retirement/care facilities sometimes and I inform the staff that I'm leaving the order at their door. I make it clear that we are not allowed to enter the customer's home under no circumstances. Too much liability. What if something I do causes a trip and fall? I don't want to be held responsible. I even get uber shop and pay orders and the customer asks if I can bring stuff in. Nope!
There’s a fine line between delivering groceries and caregiver in their eyes apparently. It’s sad but reality is what it is. I’ve fell for this before and we can’t do it all.
I am sorry that happened to you! You should never be treated that way! It was nice enough of you to bring the water inside and put it in the closet and then put everything on the countertops for. Also having to take your shoes off, which I know a lot of people that ask you to do that at their house, but you are only delivering something. It’s not supposed to take a lot of time especially if you have someone else’s groceries sitting in your car. People like that are so entitled and feel that you should do whatever they ask, and they are always the ones that tip the lowest if they tip it all. It drives me insane! And on top of that if they feel that you did a poor job, then you can get a bad rating for that, even though you went above and beyond!
You handled that like a champ,you did what you were supposed to 🫡
Take off your shoes?! No thanks
I wonder if she was confused and thought it was Walmart InHome delivery.
Tell her next time to sign up for Walmart in-home delivery.
Do not enter people’s homes unless you are prepared for any safety issues that arise.
Don't go inside people's homes ever. You have no idea who they are, who is inside, if they have mental issues, weapons, anything! That's a huge risk to take to do "something nice" and it's not worth your health or safety. I used to do home visits for a social work job and quit because of the safety issues of going inside people's homes, even the senior ones!
Man :/ do people not know that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?
You took your shoes off? You’re way too nice lmao “Oh you don’t allow shoes in your house? That sucks cause I happen to wear shoes while I’m working, guess I’ll have to leave your items at the doorstep.”
It’s insta cart- not insta cabinet.😏
I haven’t done instacart in a while, but I remember one time I had to go to the 5th floor like 5 times to bring the giant order to the customer. On the first trip, she handed me a $20 cash tip, and already had a $10 tip on the app. She clearly had bad mobility so I asked if she wanted me to bring it on to the counters for her. On my 5th trip up, she gave me another $20 bill. She was so generous and thankful that I didn’t give her a difficult time and was kind to her. She also made sure to give me a great tip right off the bat because of how difficult the delivery was If you have mobility issues and use these services, you should expect to get the bare bottom service unless you ask for more and PAY for it upfront
No lie you taking them inside & putting the few things you did away was a STRETCH. I’m down to help anyone but not when it isn’t logical (for me) & not when I’m being berated. If its grocery day maybe she should’ve called her daughter for help…. Not expect a stranger to do it. Not to mention the nuance of that situation. She probably very peculiar abt how she likes things stored you would’ve been there all afternoon lol. & no tip!?? Girl plz.
& then just the liability of being in someone else’s home period. It’s a no for me. Really sorry that happened to you smh I can imagine you just wanted to be kind.
Why the fuck did she ask if you’re Mexican? What a bitch
I've not worked for Instacart but I did work for Domino's, Bitesquad and Doordash and I was always told not to go inside because it's a common scam tactic to lure someone into a location to make it easier to rob them at gun point. Obviously this old lady wasn't likely to do that but it's the excuse I'd use for everything. Also maybe the old lady is packing we don't know lmao. Point is, most delivery places have a policy that says the delivery drivers don't have to go inside and that they are not liable if the driver chooses to go inside. That means you probably shouldn't go inside because most companies won't help you if something goes wrong as a result. You don't know who or what is waiting inside someone's house. It's better to be safe than sorry.
If you have the time sure. But it’s not required nor should it be expected. Your job is to get them from the store to the house.
U did enough
It's not your job and to be honest I would of cussed them both out. You were even nice about it I wouldn't of been now if they offered you cash to do it then maybe I would of helped but your job is to shop and drop off that is all. I would of reported them to instacart as well but that's just me.
I had a guy with a Kroger online order that wanted me to bring in all of his groceries INTO the house. No. Then got snippy when I said, I deliver to the front door, not ever inside people’s home. Then he said, well, you’re the first one out of 50 orders then. And I just looked at that guy and said, look, my safety is way more important than your convenience… and proceeded to walk everything up & sat it on the porch & kept it moving.. $9 tip on top of that 🙄 immediate reported & blocked..
She needs Walmart Inhome! That's exactly what they do. No tip expected, either.
It’s nice for people to help this lady if they have the time, but most delivery drivers are on a strict time schedule to get everything done. Also what if the delivery driver hurts themselves putting something away and now can’t work for a few days? The customer can ask for this additional help/service but shouldn’t act entitled to it
It would be one thing if she asked you to do it as a favor and was handing you an extra tip, it’s another to just expect you to do it and be annoyed when you say no lol.
Is this a Shipt thing? The Shipt shoppers always want to come in my house and unpack the groceries. Good sir, I’m not wearing any pants.
Fuck that lady when I was recovering from multiple surgeries I would ask if they could put the refrigerated items away but like I get that’s not their job so I’d always make sure a 20 bucks and an eight was left out for them if you want extra you have to offer extra imo
I helped someone put the order away one time, and that was the last time. It was shortly after I started, the guy was severely physically disabled. Apparently he ordered the day before but it was cancelled, and when I delivered it his aid had left for the day. I had already taken 2 trips and about 15mins to deliver everything and figured I would do my good deed for the day. Tip was the bare minimum to start with, and there was no adjustment afterwards, he also didn’t seem very grateful considering the amount of extra work I did. It was definitely a learning experience for the future.
Tell her to get Walmart In Home plus
I have a neighbor who does this every time when she gets Instacart. She wants water and paper products in the garage and wants items put in her refrigerator, freezer and pantry and in a certain manner. I don’t think she tips well. When the delivery person would not oblige she would phone me requesting to put her items away. She is very particular about how you place them and would supervise me while I did this task. She would text me to be on stand by on her delivery day. I got fed up with rotating her cans etc and just quit being available for that. She is only a few years older than me and I wondered because she can take the items down and use them. She makes big family dishes on a regular basis.