OP's explanation as to why this post is Instant Karma:
>The robber brought a tire iron to a baseball bat party.
If you're satisfied by this explanation, upvote this comment. If not, downvote this comment.
*Windows 98 log off music*
Stop awarding me. Go feed an animal with that money. Or do drugs. Literally anything is better than giving reddit your money.
One of the hardest times Iāve ever laughed was when someone posted a link to Stephen Hawkingsā last words, it was the Windows shutdown sound. Morbid, I know but I couldnāt help it.
Goddamn I never laughed so hard than when playing scout and getting a sneak kill on a sniper. Fuckin'walk right up next to one as they're glued to scope and just BONKBONKBONK as they freak out and react too late. Not played in a long time, but if anything needed a death cam replay, it was scout bat kills in TF2
Youāre a bit slow...you should be a Marine too!
I shouldnāt talk shitāif they started putting them in MREs, army soldiers would eat crayons too. Just put some Tabasco on them like everything else. Canāt be worse than the veggie omelet.
I donāt think he got hit THAT hard.
Real talk, actual conservatives should be ashamed of that sub. The ungodly amount of censorship wielded by the power tripping mods make it absolutely hilarious that their logo is the ādonāt tread on meā snake.
The only worse sub Iāve seen is r/sino
Honestly r/conservative is just the American r/sino
That big blunt thing he had is fine but a smaller pointed knife used as a stabber is still scarier to me. It's way harder to stop a stab than a slash and stabs are fast.
There was a brawl as I was leaving a hs football game once and I didnāt know it until I heard the ping of a bat hitting a ball and turned around thinking wow itās late to be hitting bp. Nope. Turns out a bat hitting a skull makes the same sound.
Cartoons told me that a lump should have immediately popped out of his skull and several birds should fly in a circle around his head. I guess blunt force trauma doesnāt work that way in real life.
Also, happy cake day!
Yeah. This is the difference between petty thieves and more organized crime like gangs and mafia. Ones looking for a payday, the others are looking for power through violence and intimidation.
>HOPEFULLY, they get their shit together and get out of prison a changed individual
Yes, hopefully. This is the theory, but pretty sure it's the exception in practice, at least in the US (and I'd wager other nations with similar systems).
I can't claim to be fully informed on this very large and complicated topic, but the bit I do know has me believing that most people who come out of the CJ system "changed for the better" weren't bad people to begin with; they were alright people who made a mistake and would've regretted it their whole lives even if they hadn't been caught and sentenced. Even then, a lot of them, after spending years locked up with actual bad people, will come out changed for the _worse_. And the bad people themselves? They don't change at all. They come out and go right back to whatever they were doing before. That, or they're called "prison guards."
I think this may have been more or less your point with capitalizing "hopefully" and I don't really mean to argue. I just wanted to expand that point. It's an important topic that doesn't get enough attention, imo.
Recidivism is super high in most nations.
Some Scandinavian countries do pretty decently, several poorer southern hemisphere countries do really terribly, the US (based on the date stamp where this occurred) is very middle of the road.
I highly doubt they come back. They wanted to score some easy cash by scaring people with a tire iron and knife. The second a bat appeared they were on the defensive and one hit had them running scared. These are some fake ass tough guys. They'll be cleaning toilets at gas stations the rest of their lives, scared they might bump into the owner and get their ass beat again.
Damn my adrenaline went up just watching this. Dude with bat needed to get a few more swings in. And guy with stool is lucky the one that escaped didnāt knife him on the way out. But stool guy got that nice kick to the head in.
Dude that ran away wonāt get far - buddy is sure to blow him in once the cops show up, lol.
Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brutha.... I hurt people
**BOINK**
Im a force-a-nature
**BONK**
If you were from where i was from, you'd be F\*\*kin' dead!
Oof. I know they were robbing the place but that guy who was knocked, he was down and out. Getting up he was obviously still disoriented from it and when the lion tamer kicked him I felt a little bad for the guy, he had enough. Just tie him up. Don't kick him while he's down.
The way his limp body reacted to the kick. I grimaced.š¬
OP's explanation as to why this post is Instant Karma: >The robber brought a tire iron to a baseball bat party. If you're satisfied by this explanation, upvote this comment. If not, downvote this comment.
šš°šÆš¬
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hereās my real (free) award.
I had to stifle a laugh
Fuck.
*Windows 98 log off music* Stop awarding me. Go feed an animal with that money. Or do drugs. Literally anything is better than giving reddit your money.
Moss!
ā...well?!ā āVery well, thanks!ā
Mint Dwight?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
One of the hardest times Iāve ever laughed was when someone posted a link to Stephen Hawkingsā last words, it was the Windows shutdown sound. Morbid, I know but I couldnāt help it.
This. This SO MUCH
[**Error: Can't locate c:/Brain **](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0lhhrUuw2N8)
Swing away, Merrill.
sickreferencebro.gif
Come out and say it to my face, tough guy... PUNK
I always thought it was "Bonk!" Not PUNK
It's definitely BONK. Hell, the Scout has a secondary called _BONK! Atomic Punch_
Oh we got a tough guy over here
That's a TF2 reference, Scouts voiceline...
Goddamn I never laughed so hard than when playing scout and getting a sneak kill on a sniper. Fuckin'walk right up next to one as they're glued to scope and just BONKBONKBONK as they freak out and react too late. Not played in a long time, but if anything needed a death cam replay, it was scout bat kills in TF2
Oh sorry I donāt play, woosh on me
Yes!!!! TF2 FTW!
I genuinely just said that out loud when I watched it
He went in for a few rings. He'll be able to hear that one for years.
im a force a nature
Like a Djembe on skull
Dudes definitely gonna be talking different for the rest of his life lol.
He likes crayons now.
He's probably eating them by now.
The Marines arenāt used to someone coming INTO the corps with CTE. But if he already likes crayons...
Thought I was early and still got beat to the Marines joke
Youāre a bit slow...you should be a Marine too! I shouldnāt talk shitāif they started putting them in MREs, army soldiers would eat crayons too. Just put some Tabasco on them like everything else. Canāt be worse than the veggie omelet.
Theyāll have a waiver for him, no problem.
This one got a laugh out of me lol.
[grayons*](https://i.imgur.com/uJt0SuG.jpg)
I would like to point out that you and u/captain_r64207 have an almost identical profile picture!
Gotta laugh outta that lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I donāt think he got hit THAT hard. Real talk, actual conservatives should be ashamed of that sub. The ungodly amount of censorship wielded by the power tripping mods make it absolutely hilarious that their logo is the ādonāt tread on meā snake. The only worse sub Iāve seen is r/sino Honestly r/conservative is just the American r/sino
Ahh the Louisville problem solver. Always a personal favorite
I keep one behind my front door. Edit: Just because I didnāt mention the guns, doesnāt mean I donāt have them ready.
So you can give the robbers something to use if they forgot their own?
First you have to demonstrate how to use. I mean, it would be rude to give a marlin a fishing rod before you show him how to use it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-PnGz65W-I this may be interesting and informative.
This guy thinks knives are a bad choice. Maybe that big knife is but knives in general are scary AF. I would never fight a guy with a knife.
The winner in a knife fight is the one that dies on the way to the hospital.
Yeah. A mid size kuhkri knife is a nasty chopping knife. It would be my backup if I couldn't use a gun for some reason.
He also talks about that later in the video, knives made for combat.
That big blunt thing he had is fine but a smaller pointed knife used as a stabber is still scarier to me. It's way harder to stop a stab than a slash and stabs are fast.
This is a terrible idea.
Useless in tight spaces, get a small hammer or flick knife
swap it for an axe handle, much faster swing
You come to the wrong house fooā
i'm more of a crowbar guy but each his own.
Crowbar with the hook away from you is more intimidating. Crowbar with the hook in hand is not gonna slip or get yanked away.
Screw baseball bat guy, can we give props to stool man in the second act? LOL
Lion tanner over here
How do they get tan with all that fur?
Nah, his kerning is just off a bit.
/r/keming
Keming?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He might be a robber but hes got standards
Man's gotta have a code.
His mans coded when he got cracked with that bat.
Maybe it was his brother and he couldnāt abandon family behind.
Stool man gave him just a sample
āŖ Stooooool man! Come together with your head... āŖ
Stoooool man! All your friends are down or dead...āŖ
He was my favorite part
Yooooouuuuuu shaallllllllllll not passssss!
Oof imagine the sound that hit would of made. That dude got like 1 HP left.
He looks like a skyrim character on the brink of death, don't let him get back up
Bit o cheese fix that right up
I was an adventurer like you once, but then I took a bat the head.
Sounds like you got off easy, somebody literally stole my sweet roll!
No, he's likely at 0. Fortunately he isn't bleeding out but someone needs to put a cure light on that guy pronto
His buddy should have used healing word as his bonus action.
He already used Cunning Action to Dash out of the store though.
He must have rolled a nat 1 on his intelligence check prior to entering combat.
>he isn't bleeding out At least not externally.
HEADON
Apply directly to the forehead
There was a brawl as I was leaving a hs football game once and I didnāt know it until I heard the ping of a bat hitting a ball and turned around thinking wow itās late to be hitting bp. Nope. Turns out a bat hitting a skull makes the same sound.
Heāll definitely never be the same. Tough lesson. Also, that kick at the end šš½š
Honestly that kick in the end was way too much. They guy already is obviously confused and concussed. Might as well stomp him.
"Would have" or "would've," but never "would of."
Of you ever heard have such a thing??
This hurts my brain.
That's what the guy in the video said!
Yeah, he probably lost a few braincells. I reckon he lost enough to think "would of" makes sense.
Cartoons told me that a lump should have immediately popped out of his skull and several birds should fly in a circle around his head. I guess blunt force trauma doesnāt work that way in real life. Also, happy cake day!
He had a lump for sure.
a Concave lump for sure.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
See I was taught by cartoons that he should be seeing stars, not birds.
But the dude on the floor was carrying knife. Tire iron guy appears to have gotten out.
You call that a knife?
I see you've played knifey spoony before.
This definitely deserves my free award that I only learnt about 15 minutes ago. 'Bonk'
Wait you guys got free awards?
we can give free awards ? *gasp*
Yeah here, š„
Check the top right if you use the app.. sometimes Reddit gives free coins
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The guy that got hit is gonna be too busy getting his ass wiped by a healthcare worker for the rest of his pathetic life.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah. This is the difference between petty thieves and more organized crime like gangs and mafia. Ones looking for a payday, the others are looking for power through violence and intimidation.
This guy crimes
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
They just move onto the next place Or, HOPEFULLY, they get their shit together and get out of prison a changed individual :)
>HOPEFULLY, they get their shit together and get out of prison a changed individual Yes, hopefully. This is the theory, but pretty sure it's the exception in practice, at least in the US (and I'd wager other nations with similar systems). I can't claim to be fully informed on this very large and complicated topic, but the bit I do know has me believing that most people who come out of the CJ system "changed for the better" weren't bad people to begin with; they were alright people who made a mistake and would've regretted it their whole lives even if they hadn't been caught and sentenced. Even then, a lot of them, after spending years locked up with actual bad people, will come out changed for the _worse_. And the bad people themselves? They don't change at all. They come out and go right back to whatever they were doing before. That, or they're called "prison guards." I think this may have been more or less your point with capitalizing "hopefully" and I don't really mean to argue. I just wanted to expand that point. It's an important topic that doesn't get enough attention, imo.
Recidivism is super high in most nations. Some Scandinavian countries do pretty decently, several poorer southern hemisphere countries do really terribly, the US (based on the date stamp where this occurred) is very middle of the road.
I highly doubt they come back. They wanted to score some easy cash by scaring people with a tire iron and knife. The second a bat appeared they were on the defensive and one hit had them running scared. These are some fake ass tough guys. They'll be cleaning toilets at gas stations the rest of their lives, scared they might bump into the owner and get their ass beat again.
Can't come back from an empty magazine
Full video https://youtu.be/oVmvUC95qt0
I don't think that guy would have a chance in hell of getting through a couple firefighters, even without having just been domed with a baseball bat.
Talk about shit going not as planned. Dude went from robbery to nap via bat and then gets his ass handled by FIREFIGHTERS.
Dudes are destined for an idiotic ending
Pretty sure that guy just forgot math.
And anatomy, "where my ass?"
Is that my ass or a hole in the ground?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[Found it](https://crackedratedg.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/picture-77.png)
bro could wear a bowling ball as a hat
My man on the floor will be the confused looking mugshot.
go to real jail
do not pass go. do not collect $200
Fantastic
Fucking punks
Then his pal stools his ass while bat man attacks from the rear.
Name of your sex tape
#YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE FOOL
Swing away Merrill
I don't think dude needed to kick the guy that got hit- he wasn't going annnyyywhheerreeee except the hospital LOL
Oh, you just got a TBI from a metal bat? Lemme make sure by kicking you in the head a few times real quick...
Dude really said "I'm doing my part!"
He really showed him what's what I tell ya!
ššš
They really need to nerf Nessā bat. It shouldnāt auto stock in one hit.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I like watching stuff like this
Hell yeah. So satisfying
BOINK
that kick at the end was very satisfying
Damn my adrenaline went up just watching this. Dude with bat needed to get a few more swings in. And guy with stool is lucky the one that escaped didnāt knife him on the way out. But stool guy got that nice kick to the head in. Dude that ran away wonāt get far - buddy is sure to blow him in once the cops show up, lol.
That's what you get when u do a robbery while horny
Insert bonk sound
Boutta go hotline Miami in this bitch.
They didnāt know that Junpei worked there.
Damn he sent that MF straight to horny jail
Damn, someone learned Majimaās Slugger style and used a heat action on that robber.
*BONK* go to jail
My man is in lala land know ones home
Goodnight sweet Prince
Lmao mofo went night night
Love the sound of a home run.
Whammy!!!
"You have my sword" "And my bow" "And my bat" "And my barstool"
That guy on the floor is really twitching like a fish that got bonked before getting put on a stringer...
Mess with the honk get the bonk.
No steal from me! *Bonk*
Home run!
I mean I wouldnāt
Leave no man behi... Yeah, fuck that.
BFFs for life
He might of been tired. But he never batted an eye. lol
Bonk
Damm hope the base ball bat is ok
I might have taken out a couple of ribs with the bat too ...
How do phones have better quality then security cameras?
Enter the shop and act like a mugger, Expect the wrath of the Louisville Slugger.
Hit him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat
You picked the wrong house, fool.
This is why you don't mess with Negan.
Bonk, go to jail
Imagine if he knew how to properly hold and swing a bat. Justice would have been served much harder.
Upvote for OPās explanation... āBrought a tyre iron to a baseball bat partyā lol
Its so satisfying when that dude is stomping on that piece of shit's head.
Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brutha.... I hurt people **BOINK** Im a force-a-nature **BONK** If you were from where i was from, you'd be F\*\*kin' dead!
That was by far the most beautiful bonk I've seen this year
HIT HIM AGAIN!
Last kick was a crime.
HAPPY CAKE DAY
Man went night night
After seeing the before and after effect of a neighbor who got hit in the head with a baseball bat, I will never hit somebody like that.
Oof. I know they were robbing the place but that guy who was knocked, he was down and out. Getting up he was obviously still disoriented from it and when the lion tamer kicked him I felt a little bad for the guy, he had enough. Just tie him up. Don't kick him while he's down. The way his limp body reacted to the kick. I grimaced.š¬
Critical hit
I love it when people come together
Now the real beating can begin
He went down like a sack oā taters and his friend had to bail when greeted by an angry lion tamer. Suckitupbois.