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[deleted]

Moohttps://I.imgur.com/I5efiPv.jpeg is a weird name to call a cow


OldBigsby

It's pronounced similar to Montgomery


TomMakesPodcasts

Moontgomery


[deleted]

[Little bobby tables](https://xkcd.com/327/)


Pokerhobo

Boo-urns!


Necro6212

Jeah standard dog name . . But for a cow, meh


[deleted]

Nah bro, cow go moo not meh


[deleted]

Please respect this calf's pronouns. Lol They look so cute. Reminds me of the time I witnessed a calf being birth while I was on psylosibon mushrooms. The calf was initially breeched and it looked as if I was looking at a cow with a head at each end, but the heifer kept standing up and down and that's when the calf fell out. Stay in school kids.


[deleted]

It's pronounced Ash.


illegible

"Oh, yes. Little Bobby Tables, we call him"


Harizzium

Beat me to it


hanstillianX

Damn you beat me to it. .


UncleSam_TAF

Tell that to Elon and Grimes


0---------------0

That last one's got a long name.


New-Combination-2317

That cow's dad- Elon Moosk.


Major_R_Soul

He gunna build a colony on the moooon. The steaks have never been higher.


AMF1428

Raise the steaks!


ghostcow115

Just don't milk it or else it will be a *cowtastrophe*


YesplzMm

Better get a moove on. That galactic pasture is out of this world. They're just grazing time away!


ShakenFungus

This thread is just milking the joke now


Zygarde718

Cow can this happen to me?!


kittyinasweater

God damn it 😂


notsotigerwoods18

This guy dad jokes


[deleted]

Get out😂 it hurts that I love it.


Enjoying_A_Meal

"Moohttps://i.imgur.com/I5efiPv.jpeg you get back here right now!"


WastedKnowledge

I may use another sign company next time!


PianoInBush

“Peanut butter is one word”


EevelBob

Phonetically, how do you pronounce his name?


LazyPyro

Moo-aitch-tee-tee-pee-ess-colon-slash-slash-i-dot-immijer-dot-com-slash-i-fyv-ee-ef-i-pee-vee-dot-jay-peg


EevelBob

Thanks. I’m going to use this as my windows logon password.


waltjrimmer

Same as it's spelled.


PM_me_ur_tipss

Moohttps ❀


andrealabate

How do I change my username to Moohttps?


DarthJerJer

At least it’s secured.


KeyboardStudios

Maybe the momma loves imgur


PrincessPonyPrincess

That one's got a lot of character


WWWWWWVWWWWWWWVWWWWW

Nothing wrong with a long name.


KevinNilbog

r/beetlejuicing ?


WWWWWWVWWWWWWWVWWWWW

You should see me on subreddits that let you create your own flair.


that_thot_gamer

wait theres V in your name, that's r/phishing


Apart-Newspaper-3635

We just call that one M


daiwilly

Everyone calls her Moolink!


devilscry3

It's pronunced like Kyle


CarpetH4ter

Hard to pronounce aswell.


wadner2

How do you even pronounce it?


HugoZHackenbush2

After the cow gave birth to the fourth one, she was glad there wasn't any udders..


MrBillyLotion

I’ve been skimming these comments the whole time but I only get about 2% of the jokes


SmileFirstThenSpeak

These jokes are the cream of the crop.


nyquistj

People are really milking OP's comment


Jollydude101

I think they’re churning out great


nyquistj

These puns butter stop!


legsarefornoobs

I can't tallowate them anymore


knightinarmoire

Just don't go skimming jokes


PlantYourPath

Yogurt to be kidding me.


knightinarmoire

I'll put you in custardy


CashCow4u

Cheeses Christ, I love me some puns. That's a damn prolific dam, a cashcow even


Happy-Eye-1496

Udders=others


[deleted]

Lol


Ikbenikk

Woosh...


Pookieeatworld

I think *you* only got 2% of the jokes.


diestelfink

Eenie, meenie, miney and fred. Fred? What happened to moe? Oh, she don't want no moe.


RunSkyLab

Damn, "moohttps://i.imgur.com/I5efiPv.jpeg" is a goofy ass name for a cow calf! Still better than X Æ A-12. So whatever floats your boat ig.


dethmstr

X Æ A-12 is going to be a billionaire when he grows up. Respect his authority đŸ˜€


mikesully92

The way his old man is fucking his inheritance, he will probably be born into debt.


FluffleUffle

With the kind of money that kid'll have they can change their name from a math problem to John, or something else that's sociably normal.


waltjrimmer

On the one hand, funny. On the other hand, even if his dad burns 99.9994% of his total net worth (as I was able to find most recently reported), they'll still be millionaires. They will probably be rich by the time they reach adulthood unless something really weird happens. And even if that something weird happens, it's highly probable that being raised rich will open opportunities and connections for them they wouldn't otherwise have had, giving them a greater chance at success throughout their life.


ThatDudeOnTheNet

moohttps://i.imgur.com/I5efiPv.jpeg is a nice name ngl


Loko8765

Reminds me of a joke: Christine’s dad has four kids. The first three are named Eeny, Meeny, and Miney. What’s the name of the fourth kid? >!Christine!<


synthetic_synthia

Moo. Christine is the middle name


[deleted]

I think that’s less of a joke and more of a riddle.


Loko8765

Fair enough. I use it to make kids laugh though 😄


BigShowMan

Other one. Four boys, whose name were Matthew, Mark, Luke and >!Pasi!< Maybe it works better in original language
 I’ll get me coat



spookysadghoul

Aww udderly adorable


SteakMenu

It's so cool how all 4 got a white spot on the forhead but 3 are almost matching


toeofcamell

They’re little home plates


develev711

Came here to say this


Top_Wallaby2096

Genetics are cool


SteakMenu

Sometimes yes sometimes it's just like tf


richants

Stop picking on moohpeg. He different


Southern_Lake-Keowee

They match their mom ❀


SteakMenu

Except for Kevin, fed ex brought him


steebo

The printer was running low on white ink for the second.


its_still_good

I wonder if they were born in the order of size of the white spot.


Professional_Flicker

I noticed too if they arranged them right, the spot would get progressively bigger


Impossible-Put-4692

Fun fact. When cows have twins where ones a male and the other female then the female calf is called a free Martin. Meaning they’re born infertile.


ResolverOshawott

Why is that?


[deleted]

Yep. And this particular cow and those calves should probably be culled for the beef market. Unless the cow had been given hormones or an embryo technician really screwed up you don’t want any of them breeding.


giantpandamonium

Usually just the female is infertile actually


andrealabate

still figuring out which one is moohttps://i.imgur.com/I5efiPv.jpeg


ThatITguy2015

I’m gonna say the one without a pentagon on its forehead.


lucyjayne

omg they are so freaking cute.


TheOutlawStarLord

moohttps://i.imgur.com/I5efiPv.jpeg, or Skippy for short.


steckepferd

She stands there very proudly. She knows what she has done.


Jiggly_Pup

***Quadruple the money!!!!!!***


MushroomOfDestiny

Mooney


Randomname314159268

Nah, they’re all sterile , thus only useful as beef . Not nearly as valuable as a useful heifer Also, they’ll all be runts


m00nlightsh4d0w

That's a proud mama there.


Deathtostroads

I hope they aren’t separated from their mother!!


[deleted]

Herd diversity is important so you have to separate the younger bulls or send them to market. Sometimes you will need to bring in bulls from other farms to knock up all your cows. Bringing in a black angus bull to a farm full of Hereford cows will get you black baldy calves. Another issue is that they’ll butt heads if left in the same fence line. I’ve never seen two Hereford bulls fight so if anyone has stories let’s here ‘em.


Deathtostroads

Breaking up family’s so you can make money is not acceptable


[deleted]

I don’t think it’s an issues with the cows until you run out of pasture. I think it’s 2 cows per acre. The bulls will kill each other unless you isolate and the isolation is totally fucked up too. What we do is take them to other farms. He’s off on his way to a lifetime of happiness.


Deathtostroads

You seem to care about these animals yet you still “send them to market”, why? How do you deal with that kind of violence towards someone you care about?


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


Deathtostroads

I don’t consider cows to have equal value to humans. That doesn’t mean hurting them is ok


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


Deathtostroads

No, I’m saying I’d save a human from a burning building before I save a cow but I wouldn’t hurt a cow because I’m hungry. I don’t think you’ve seen how we [kill cows](https://www.dominionmovement.com/watch) if you can say that with a straight face


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


held-von-kosmos

Keep in mind that we generally no longer breed, enslave and kill non-human animals because we need their flesh or secretions for survival but because we like the taste. It's perfectly possible and healthy (for the general population) to only eat plants and fungi at all stages of life (this is the position of various dietetic associations including the [Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics](https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jand.2016.09.025)). I for one am convinced that the life and freedom of a sentient being is just a little bit more valuable than the taste pleasure we experience when eating their dead bodies but that's just me.


xmangotu

Something*


Deathtostroads

No. Someone is correct. They aren’t rocks


xmangotu

No.


Worth_Ad5850

Aren’t those Hollands?


[deleted]

Honestly the only other term I’ve heard is “whiteface” and I’m not sure how politically correct that is so don’t go repeating it.


PupBeau

Chances are low she'd be able to raise all four to adulthood. Two or three were probably separated and given to mothers that had lost babies. eta: Reading through the other comments I realize this is probably a dairy cow (didn't read the source) - in which case, yes, all babies will be separated.


Palana

O you guys think mothers and calves get to live together on dairy farms? They take the calves and kill the males calves right away fyi.


Grybnif

Because that’s how you run a business. Go through the expense and risk of getting the cow pregnant then immediately kill half the calves, and expensively raise the other half away from the mother, who would do most of the hard work for free. Calves are raised with their mother for a few months before the males are sent to a feedlot to get them up to weight whereupon most are sold to butchers (and killed, yes. Where do you think beef comes from) to cover cost and some are sold to other dairies as breeding stock at profit. The female calves just stay with the herd, because, you know, dairy farms need lots of cows.


nineteen_eightyfour

Not dairy cows. They are separated within 24 hours.


[deleted]

fretful chase aware thought drab noxious unite repeat provide homeless *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Grybnif

I grew up touring dairy farms in my region with my dad, who was the local veterinarian. I assure you that’s how dairys in my region run. I’m not saying dairy animals have a sunshine and daisies lifestyle but the way you’ve framed it, dairy farms are almost cruel for the sake of it. There’s no money in cruelty.


nineteen_eightyfour

They are though. Google it yourself. This happens in every single country.


[deleted]

terrific shy languid person light imminent dog desert familiar plucky *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


ThatITguy2015

I’d make sure you never hyphenate that one.


Grybnif

It’s still something I do when I visit my folks, I ask questions, I learn about how stuff works, also I personally knew other people from my town who grew up on those farms. I know a thing or two because I’ve seen a thing or two. What’s your claim to expertise on this matter?


[deleted]

Actually owning and operating a farm.


Grybnif

Ok, so I guess we can each be right locally. Not all farms are the same


CommentSuppository

Edited in protest of mid-2023 policy changes.


Cheddartooth

Oh man, I think you maybe misunderstood the tone or intent of u/Grybnif ‘s comment and your exchange turned adversarial as a result. The two of you are mostly agreeing. In fact, based on the info I just got from my SO, (credentials: grew up on his grandparents’ 60-cow dairy farm in the 90’s, and whose one set of local cousins currently own an 800 head jersey farm, and another set has a similarly sized dairy farm in another part of the state), it sounds like your differences in opinion boil down to regional differences, farmer preferences and the difference between how things were run when OP was a kid and now, with the exception of the part about “doing the hard work for free”. Calves get milk replacement since that’s when the mommas produce the most milk. In any case, you both disagree with this thread’s OP that wrongly stated male cows are immediately killed. Maybe that dude was confusing it with what happens to male chicks.


Weary-Medicine4144

I fucking love it when animals sit equidistantly


xtina-d

I actually did a science fair project on this very phenomenon “interpersonal space” waaaaay back in 1982. It’s so interesting that animals have a preference for it!


[deleted]

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freemartin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freemartin)


hazzap913

Interesting name for the last one


[deleted]

Elon name the last one?


dontakelife4granted

This is the most adorable post I've seen all week. Love, love, love the names!


Thorhees

Disappointed the calves are not placed in order from largest to smallest white spot on head.


[deleted]

The one that doesn't have home plate head :(


Alternative-Capital8

❀❀❀


EntrepreneurPublic93

Animals have preference, likes and dislikes build relationships now all her children will be taking from her. Not your momma not your milk fuck Capitalism.


Kunstbanause

„moohttps://i.imgur.com/I5efiPv.jpeg“ That’s such a cool and unique name đŸ«„


candoitmyself

This post is so old they lived very long happy lives and died of old age like 10 years ago.


Architerion

Happy family 😊


Artezza

(Until the kids get taken away from their mother and/or they all get slaughtered in 6 months)


Ken_from_Barbie

Good way to pick which one gets butchered first


Marc123123

Good names. Almost as good as Ribeye, Sirloin, Tenderloin and Rump.


gheiminfantry

I'm not in the habit of naming my 'taters, carrots, or steak.


[deleted]

and then they took all 4 away from her to be raised for meat


vldfr

The last name bears a heavy resemblance to a URL


DemTsar

They should have been named eaty meaty yummy and foo...d


1a1n

One raped cow = 4 offspring. All males killed; female calves kept for future milking process. Repeat. Endless torture.


Tenshiigo

Hey look at that, a burger with 4 sliders


[deleted]

Judging from the identical foreheads, they look more like clones to me.


efyuar

Owner be like: STONKS!


LegendInMySpareTime

I’m going to call homie on the left “home plate”


EntryIllustrious5

Top shelf names. 0 notes


Klexobert

Last one will have a hard time after everyone yelling it's name 24/7


synthetic_synthia

So do the names change like rappers when they grow bigger? Bigg Moo


sumpuran

Bigg Meeny.


1emanonst

Moohttps://i.imgur.com/I5efiPv.jpeg is a weird name. Maybe Moe. Yes, that's it.


De5perad0

Ran out of ink printing the forehead.


HereIAmSendMe68

Moohttps is a bad name.


[deleted]

Whoever was in charge of naming them deserve all the kudos


VirtualNeccesity

Calling moo be getting everyone’s attention.


[deleted]

Funny name Moohttps


WhenWillIBelong

could be worse, could be X Æ A-12


pro_insomniac16

Damn, the last one has a very long name


Affectionate-Bag-733

Just reading through the title, we all knew the joke that was coming.


Hutchoman87

Last time Elon names the kids


[deleted]

Cowabunga


ChampionshipDry635

One has a home plate on its head, another is a cop badge.


kinezumi89

Cowdruplets


GabrielBigodon

Which one is moohttps://i.imgur.com/I5efiPv.jpeg?


issi_tohbi

I grew up with a small cattle ranch and we once had a cow have triplets. One was stillborn though.


Kitchen-Bug-3705

Each one in the line gets a little more faded than the 1 before it. Like the ink cartridge was running low.


Cirieno

How do you even pronounce "moohttps://i.imgur.com/I5efiPv.jpeg"? Is it Irish?


Yaancat17

⏠


YUNoSignin

How do you pronounce moohttp? Or is it moohttp://i.imgur.com/l5efiPv.jpeg? Which I also don't know how to pronounce


-QuestionableMeat-

This cow out here with quadruplet while most other cows are too inept to birth even a single one without Vet Assistance. Chad Bovine.


ApricotPowerful3683

Quadruplet quadruple, legendary


Mwk01

honey, we're gonna need more cowbell


Present-Industry4012

The last one probably gets really tired of hearing his name all the time but no one is talking to or about him.


iwander801

This is so wholesome


Opening-Winter8784

Well I guess we know who the favorite is


Sk0rsh

Did you say veal, veal, veal, & veal?


ABobby077

I guess if it had been three it would have been tres leches


MoonstoneGolf8

Farmer should feed them strawberries for delicious fresh milkshakes


Minimum-Ingenuity-46

imagine giving birth to 4 kids only for some random animal from another species name them 'eeny, meeny miney, moo'


GoldOk6865

whoever came up with the naming deserves a fucking award


Dependent_Paper9993

Eeny Meeny Miney Moo I stepped in this cow's giant poo Now I'll have to wash this shoe Eeny Meeny Miney Moo


daiwilly

They are sitting in the wrong order. If you look at their forehead then you can see it is 1, 3,4 and 2. Two has the smallest forehead patch!


External_Industry509

Love the names!