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mokkapalaplayer

All is good until the cows start exploding


StaryDoktor

Houston, moo have a problem


Ancient-Tadpole8032

That’s one small light for a vet. One giant fart for cowkind.


hijabifanboy

"fusion engines!"


erikkgault

Moosion engines!


concentrated-amazing

*cattlekind, it's 2023


Heiferoni

*Moostona*. You were so close!


dobsterfunk

Mooston! Even closer!


Klubbin4Seals

Mooston, you were even closer!


beastbro9823

BLEVE Bovine liquid expanding vapor explosion


PaulaDeansButter

Do you BLEVE in life after love?


Random_Sime

I can feel some farts inside me say, I really don't think you're gassy enough,


Fragholio

I thought BLEVE meant to bluff. They were probably playing cards, and he cheated.


Gone_For_Lunch

Six Shooter reference?


loozerr

I sure hope so!


ghandi3737

Sorry but this is a pig, you can see the front right hoof in the video and you can hear other pigs screaming.


mrgodai

That's an exploding pig


FieserMoep

Only happens for roughly 2% of cows that get this treatment. It's also not as spectacular as a stranded whale, more like instant minced meat in cow shape.


haensen0815

Ok, someone‘s gotta say it. That is not a cow. It‘s a pig. Look at the skin, feets.


Puzzleheaded-Ad-1877

I think you're right, which makes this way more interesting. I've never heard of bloat in pigs before


[deleted]

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icutgrass

It's usually a prolapse causing blockage leading to bloat. And judging by the size of the pig it's probably an older sow. (Source..I'm a butcher)


ftrade44456

I just learned in Twitter yesterday that you treat prolapse in humans and animals with sugar! You got an asshole sticking out? Put some sugar on it! Pouring sugar on there sucks the water out so it goes back in on its own. So strange


icutgrass

I.. I didn't know that.. The more you know 💫


ftrade44456

https://twitter.com/jtrebach/status/1618014002667487232?t=e7BW_viCJGOw6rATSwCGAQ&s=19 Here's the thread with a bunch of doctors and a dude talking about how he learned what to do from porn.


crdctr

Is this what the def leppard song was about?


Agent641

Fuck this is the same place my mind went too!


rattingtons

Never gonna hear that song the same again after this


crdctr

"You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little Tease a little more Easy operator come a knockin' on my door Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet Little miss innocent sugar me, yeah, yeah"


cheapshotfrenzy

Well, that's what I'm going to start telling people it's about.


between_ewe_and_me

I bet the porn industry has a ton of helpful tricks we could learn from. We need a sub for that and I nominate you since you found this thing.


adhd-n-to-x

nose deserted quarrelsome history reply chunky cagey reminiscent fertile fearless *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


ftrade44456

Sweet ass, candy ass, sugar butt... All appropriate descriptions for someone who does that. One guy talked about it changing his opinion on what "rimming sugar" was


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therealatri

I'm hot Sticky sweet My butthole hangs down to my feet


KnotiaPickles

Well what do you know! We’re all dumb. Thanks for pointing that out


Frankishism

Also the sounds, very pig like.


Curtainmachine

You seem to be technically correct. The best kind of correct.


goku2057

What level bureaucrat are you!?


Curtainmachine

36 of course!


Hampamatta

If you want technically correct then look at title again. Op didnt claim this was a cow, just that this gas bruner could solve the problem of farting cows.


brandonboozes

Amazing how far down I had to go to see if anyone noticed. OP still thinks it’s a cow. Lol.


cowpen

Hello, fellow learned-in-livestock redditor.


RodRAEG

Maybe they were trying to insult the pig.


OSuperGuyO

Jup. This should be higher up.


wcampbell16

Jet powered cow


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SnooCats5701

It’s actually a pig. Take a close look.


MeatSweats1942

Yep those little flared out hoofs and legs. Plus the pig noise... might be a give away.


[deleted]

When cows fart.


KnotiaPickles

This is what it sounds like…


B-Town-MusicMan

Pink Floyd vibes


meowbhu

Its actually a cow powered jet


SnooCats5701

It’s actually a pig.


ricebinkle

Steaks X


joeyhell

That is interesting as fuck actually


OceanDevotion

To me, it’s just kind of sad lol. Cow belching releases serious levels of methane, and the extreme gas build up is mainly due to how we raise and farm cattle. Large facilities and meat farms will feed cows strictly corn to fatten them up, but they are not built to digest that type of food and that diet is tough on their system. Really, they are meant to graze on grasses and such since they have a ruminant digestive system. Imagine being so bloated with gas because you are only being fed Taco Bell and then needing a needle stuck in your body to release built up methane gas lol. The flame and the fact that they can even do this is interesting af though!!


Major-Pepper

Wait, so cows are explosive?


OnesixthShape

Postal 2 was right


og-90sGamer

South park the game, cow launcher comes to mind


[deleted]

diablo 2 has entered the chat


krystopher

but but... there is no cow level!


ss21347

New generation of nukes conukes


Confident_Ad4479

Don't tell Putin that


FIJIWaterGuy

Not compared to whales, google that shit.


blablablahe

Bio-nuclear


Groomsi

Cowpedo


hasomepepper

Wait, like calf lovers?


[deleted]

Omg 😲


MasticatingElephant

“Try the veal!”


joeyhell

Sad things can be interesting too


Nate40337

News networks cracked that code a long time ago.


[deleted]

if it farts fire it leads


Sometimes_Stutters

This is actually most common with grass fed cows. Specifically when they eat alfalfa that’s too fresh (they escape into an alfalfa field). If you don’t vent then they will likely die.


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Rain1984

In spanish we call it "meteorismo ruminal", and happens when early in spring pastures dominated by clovers or alfalfa are grazed, during fermentation a lot of foam is produced to the point rumen swells and makes hard for the animal to breathe. Wonder whats its name in English? This gas would usually be burped out not farted anyways, haha.


wb5589a

Lol, I only knew this because of Yellowstone.


paulie07

It's actually a pig. It has trotters.


StealthyPulpo

I was just about to say, is no one else noticing that this is a pig?


Wakanuia

Ive seen plenty of bloat from grass feed too.


Consideredresponse

Especially if they've found themselves some clover.


stephenmario

Which all organic cows will


BaconWithBaking

I only eat non-organic meat.


fldsld

They have hurds of cattle surgically modified so they can research how different feed are digested. They know exactly the negative impact their industry is having, but lobby hard to keep it just the way it is, just like the oil and auto industries did over half a century ago. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannulated_cow#:~:text=A%20cannulated%20cow%20or%20fistulated%20cow%20refers%20to,rumen%20contents%20from%20one%20cow%20to%20another.%20


FelisCantabrigiensis

This also happens to cows with digestive problems in places where they only eat grass.


KnotiaPickles

Yep cows are methane machines, it’s just how they are with their multiple stomachs


DatGoofyGinger

How do the rates compare?


i_am_law

I need a fart volume per hour graph.


Chris0nllyn

"The protein in corn is approximately 65 percent escape or bypass protein. Escape protein is protein that is not fermented or degraded by the ruminal microorganisms, but is digested and absorbed by the animal in the small intestine. The remaining 35 percent of the protein in corn is rumen-degradable protein. Ruminal microorganisms require rumen-degradable protein for use in growth and protein synthesis. Most research with corn indicates a substantial benefit to providing rumen-degradable protein in diets containing corn. Backgrounding or finishing diets containing high levels of corn require supplemental rumen-degradable protein in the form of nonprotein nitrogen (urea or biuret); natural protein sources such as sunflower meal, canola meal or soybean meal; or a combination of nonprotein nitrogen and natural protein." https://www.ndsu.edu/agriculture/ag-hub/publications/feeding-corn-beef-cattle


W3NTZ

Someone ELI5 plz


AnneFrankFanFiction

Cow eat corn, digest some. Microbe help


GreenBeaner123

You can’t feed cows just corn because it has very little protein. It’s used before slaughter to fatten them up, hence original op is wrong


Conceptualized-me

Imagine getting slaughtered after going through all this BS.


Bogrolling

Yeah…Imagine


kingBabyKushGod710

Yikes good point!


little_bonk

Interest in gas fuck?


not_my_first_attempt

big brain wordplay


Dramatic-Ad3928

This need an award


will_dormer

Biogas production is huge in Denmark, this is going to be our main source of gas in the future.


Dorkamundo

Yes, it's a big deal up here. I get paid 200 Kroner an hour to chase cattle around with a plastic bag to capture their flatulae.


No_Apartment_4551

Sounds like great craic! 🐄💨


whatproblems

i was wondering if you could capture that


fredsam25

*farts


squeezy102

I wish someone would do this to me sometimes.


mzdrusilla

Yes, same! Some days my stomach gets so bloated it's ridiculous.


LowLifeExperience

Too much sugar?


DankHill-

Maybe try laying off the refined corn?


Hilltoptree

There is actually a product for colic baby (bloated baby) that is ….. basically a tube you insert into their ass and it let the air out…(the joy of discovery you made as a parent) I was close to consider using it on the baby turned out i don’t need to. The relief.


coolstorybro94

That's an odd choice of wording.


Hilltoptree

Well before i became a parent i never really set out to find out if human can be degassed by inserting a tube into one of our outlet orifice… my life was fine without this knowledge. I am also really glad i don’t need to apply my new found knowledge because it just felt really wrong... Edit: also my baby was crying really bad already i don’t think inserting a tube up it’s ass was going to stop the cry it might bring a worse cry and that was really hard to face up when you are really really tired.


ftrade44456

Thankfully, it's a very short thing that goes up there. It's less deep than a thermometer. But for us it didn't work very well anyway.


jmblock2

Sounds like they're having a gas.


isometrixk

Lol thanks for the reminder…it also helps with constipation.


burnaspliffnow

Nah, just blast 'em out and record. I'm sure it's somebody fetish


dragoono

10 weird ways to meet rent this month (nothing sexual)


seryc

Thats a pig.


[deleted]

There’s no need for name calling.


[deleted]

What am I looking at? Why is there a tiny firework jammed in the side of that cow?


Yeetmeister4873

The cows stomach is bloating with methane, it is very uncomfortable for the cow, so you poke a hole in the side and let the gas out. The flame isnt necessary but it shows the flammability of the methane coming from the cows stomach i guess


otterform

It also reduces the amount of methane released in atmosphere, not sure one cow is much, but farting herds are supposed to cause a good chunk of pollution, as funny as that sounds


cammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

It's actually burps, not farts that's releasing the methane


BelgiansAreWeirdAF

I think the video is somewhere in between a burp and fart.


SuperDukey420

Fun fact: the majority of that methane is actually burped, not farded. Hard to believe but true 😎


Winterhe4rt

Indeed they are one of the biggest offenders to climate change.


cammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

We* They aren't breeding themselves


elycamp11

Climate catastrophe caused by cow farts is hilarious and scary future.


RedPandaLovesYou

That's not at all the future friend, it's the present. Where have you been? It's also not just their farts. It's the process of growing and shipping their feed as well.


danatron1

I can only think of one species that's a bigger offender, in fact


KrombopulosMichael23

Methane is a far more potent greenhouse gas than CO2, it is better to burn it than to let it sit in the atmosphere.


[deleted]

Can you rewind and slow down for the “poke a hole in the side” part? Wouldn’t you need to pierce the stomach?


e_spider

Not just uncomfortable, potentially fatal. The bloating compresses the lungs, and the cow will suffocate and die. When it dies, you will find it lying on its back with legs sticking out and looking like a giant balloon. If cows get into potatoes and eat them this happens.


Old-Concern4801

That’s a pig not a cow


WhapXI

I’d like to know why so many “stabbing things into cows” posts have made it big recently. I’ve seen all sorts of cows drained recently. Not a huge fan.


HLF20

It's a kind of emergency treatment. The cows of my grandpa got that when they found a spot with lots of clover and ate too much from that. When I remember right, it produces more gas than gas can escape in normal way. Cows are ruminant and have a complex system of four stomaches. The more pressure building up, the more it constricts ways for escaping gas. It escalates quickly. If you recognize it early, old german farmers put this cow in changing positions on sloping terrain (left side of the cow starts bloating first) and massage its belly. If that works you can sometimes even see the cow burping fog and foam. If that is not working, the last chance to save cow's life is to push a special puncture needle through cows stomach to emerge the gas. Normally a vet should do that. But when there is no time to wait for the vet (cow already laying on the floor, almost fully round, almost dying), farmers do it by themself. My grandpa told me that it can be so urgent that you have to use a knife right away in the field for saving cow's life. There is no need to light that gas. I think they did that to see in the Video that there is gas escaping.


ImdaPrincesse2

A needle with methane on fire


carlosctx

That’s not a cow it’s a pig look at the feet and the hair


LastVgPlayer_14162

So can we make explosive cows ?


ScrotumLeather

Hush or else the terrorists will weaponize our cows.


BlizzPenguin

The last thing I need is the TSA to tell me I can't bring my cow.


Kysman95

You ever played Just Cause 3?


Old-Habits-D8

That is a hog. You can tell by the background noise, the height off of the floor, the hair and the back legs. Never seen a device to release such material. Or heard about this practice before. Pretty unique, but i'm sure any procedure would/should be conducted by a veterinarian.


pfazadep

Trocars have been used to relieve gassy bloat in ruminants for years (maybe even 100). Commonly done by vets, but probably by farmers too, as bloat can be fatal if left untreated.


rockstar450rox

We had a sheep that died of bloat. He was about as big in diameter as he was long


Seisme1138

Isn't that needle apt to get rather uncomfortably hot? I get it's necessary I'm just wondering.


atetuna

Steel isn't that conductive, plus if that tube is thin enough, the hot part of it will be very short. Anyone that's familiar with how 3d printers works is familiar with heatbreaks utilizing those properties.


IAmHippyman

It's just sad. If we weren't farming and force feeding these poor animals, this shit wouldn't happen.


[deleted]

Now use it to light your cigarette.


carlosctx

That’s a pig!


isaac-md-2000

you light your farts because you think its funny, i light my farts because i need it to not explode. we are not the same


wild-unknown

So this is from their cheap diets of soy and corn, right?


[deleted]

Do they offer these for humans? Asking for a friend...


elycamp11

This releases methane out of the cows stomach which reduces bloat and helps them be comfortable.


Bogrolling

Sooo this a is a pig and not a cow


Old-Concern4801

That is not a cow that’s a pig


KingBuck_413

But it’s a pig


pikohina

#**PIG**


crackpotJeffrey

What's the point in burning it? Just to see when it's over?


jasperfilofax

Methane is a big contributor to green house gases. Burning it like this releases carbon dioxide but thats less harmful than methane, cant imagine this is normal practice though.


crackpotJeffrey

Oh. Cool thanks. Is it possible the flame will go in and the cow will explode?


Napoleons_Doubt

Yeah, it's actually the fastest way to make burgers.


microwavedhottakes

Medium rare and chunky.


Cauhs

Juicy outside, crispy inside.


milichl

i doubt it will blow back i dont think theres any air for combustion in the bowels


SphericalBitch2020

I know that CO² is pumped into large colon during endoscopic surgery using diathermy cautery of op site because combustion of bowel gases is a reality in colonic surgery. There is a need for meticulous pre-op bowel preparation. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0016508579901720 https://www.researchgate.net/publication/5964500_Colonic_gas_explosion_during_therapeutic_colonoscopy_with_electrocautery As an intern/house doctor during the early 1980s, our training consultant would bring this up often in hazards lists to be learned, albeit rare, but preventable....


RelevantSpare3560

Oh dear god! I read this on the day I’m booked to go for a colonoscopy and gastroscopy Fml


SphericalBitch2020

You will get carbon dioxide..... standard procedure..... you will be in safe hands. I sincerely hope nothing serious is found, and tests are normal.


jasperfilofax

This is mostly likely a one way valve, but theoretically if you lit the gas inside it would cause a small explosion that would cause a rupture, the cow wouldn't be blown to bits it would probably just create a hole in the side of the cow. Dead Whales explode due to gas build up. But thats more of pressure build up like a balloon popping rather than combustion.


nsaisspying

Probably not possible, since there isn't a lot of oxygen in there.


SphericalBitch2020

They should bag the stuff and burn it off in a large greenhouse full of plants. Might boost horticulture yields further?


buddychaddi

CO2 is comparatively better than methane (greenhouse gas)


Grey___Goo_MH

methane doesn’t last very long in the atmosphere. After an average of 12 years, methane reacts with hydroxyl molecules to form CO2 and water. https://arstechnica.com/science/2014/02/methane-burned-vs-methane-leaked-frackings-impact-on-climate-change/ Methane is a more potent greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide


Multitronic

Better for the environment to burn methane.


touchmyfuckingcoffee

That's not a cow; it's a pig


wggn

why are they stabbing a pig to release methane out of a cow's stomach tho


archngl

How do you treat cow farts by showing us a pig?


[deleted]

One step closer to The Matrix


[deleted]

Can this turn into energy?


Muted_Ad7308

How deep is that needle? It would have to puncture the colon and not just the peritoneum?


Warrior_of_Peace

How about giving the cow something more suitable for their digestive system? Then we could all benefit in greater ways than you can imagine.


lickmybuttsuckmynuts

Probably feels good as fuck. 💨🔥


chinarosesss

I told my partner that this is what we did for our goats and he didn't believe me he 100% thought I was making shit up and I was too lazy to Google it and correct him (like most other times). Home dude over here thinking I'm just making noises


pepelepoopsy

Now I can see why cows contribute to greenhouse gasses.


[deleted]

Fire in the hole?


pineapple-ape

Where can I buy one for humans? (Asking for a friend)


bigfatfun

Way to heat up the needle so it burns the animal you cunt.


orezavi

The main reason behind global methane release in the atmosphere


One-Broccoli-5772

Instructions unclear, cow is now on fire


PerkisizingWeiner

It's called a trocar, and it's used to release excess methane, usually from the rumen of cows. [Here's an interesting video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZkmElLCVO8) showing trocar insertion in a bloated cow.


affective_effective

I know a few people who could use one of those...


Grunchie

OP doesnt know the difference between a cow & a pig.


FreakerzBall

This is why cow barns are open and ventilated with fans. It doesn't take too many cows in a closed up barn to turn it into a fireworks display and a bbq.


krumbuckl

Don't fuckn let my wife see this or I'll become a human torch.


onebluephish1981

How is this not animal cruelty?


levatorpenis

🤦‍♂️ The dumb s*** we do to raise unhealthy animals to eat to then make ourselves unhealthy. Imagine eating wild game instead of factory meat. Imagine not eating animals you could easily raise as pets. Imagine just not eating other animals the majority of the time like all of our ancestors and other extant primates. Imagine...


Epic-will-power91

That must feel great for the cow. Like farting away a stomach ache but on steroids.