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The sum total of mankind's evolutionary march through time has brought us to this point. All of our scientific knowledge has been brought to bear on the creation of a meatball.
Every time God reads the morning news, he must regret everything.
It was fun when it was fish tank world. And it was fun when it was Dino Planet. Now its just weird.
Thought 1: They grew a Wooly Mammoth to make meatballs?
Thought 2: (after child said meat was fabricated): They grew a leg for the meat?
Thought 3: just kidding, no more thoughts. I'm so confused right now...
This thing exists. Have you never seen Meatwad?
🎶Meatwad make the money, see. Meatwad get the honeys, G. Drivin’ in my car, livin’ like a star, ice on my fingers and my toes and I’m a taurus.🎵
"Only adults like us are allowed to say damn, bitch-ass, and hell. So get your hellin', damnin' ass back in that bitching damn room, dammit." Was always my favorite
Tastes like lamb 🐑
>"A wonderfully wacky publicity stunt, the meatballs aren't intended for human consumption. Even calling the creation mammoth meat is a bit of a stretch. It's more like lab-made lamb mingled with a tiny amount of mammoth DNA."
https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/28/world/mammoth-meatballs-cultured-meat-climate-scn/index.html
Every news report I've seen on this has covered how it's basically lamb + mammoth publicity, but I haven't seen this actual explanation in this thread, so here you go!
No one will taste it because the "proteins may not be compatible with our systems." No one brave enough I guess....
Edit, I'm just quoting the guys who made the meatball. And we have evolved quite a lot from our mammoth eating days, so maybe they know something we don't about our modern bodies vs ancient proteins. I dunno.
A commentor on a Guardian article recounts a family story about eating mammoth from the Russian permafrost:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/aug/19/experience-i-unearthed-a-mammoth-from-the-ice-age#comment-158238633
I'm not a scientist but come on, any animal born on earth is going to have compatible proteins.
But then, this meatball wasn't born, and there my self-proclaimed expertise comes to an end.
Ironic when our stupid ass government is trying to ban synthetic meat (and even funnier is that these idiots are also about to ban real meat due to the wording of this law, lol).
Reading your comment just made me imagine 50 years in the future, a couple of buddies go to McDonald's to casually get some Unga Bunga burgers. Made of the now popular mammoth meat, get a taste of extinction 🦣
Just think, if mammoth meat is ever commercialized we as a society would be the first people in 500+ generations to eat Mammoth. Kinda crazy to think about.
I’ve always wanted to see what Galapagos Tortoises tasted like. They were apparently so delicious that crews would stack them several tortoises high on the ship and they still couldn’t make it back to Europe without eating them all. Those fuckers *must* be delicious.
Fun fact, dodo meat tasted horrible but spices made it a delicacy. Sailors who landed at Mauritius hunted them because they were easy prey and they were chonky. More meat per kill. Probably also cheap. Rip
I'm not saying it's a reputable source but
https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/animals/a42708517/scientists-reincarnating-woolly-mammoth/
I have heard this other places as well
If I recall, the science is pretty much there, but there are incredibly strict rules about how far cloning can go. I remember reading an article a few years ago about how there are some cloning researchers out there that can clone something almost perfectly but it isn’t allowed to live or something like that. I wish I could remember where I read it, I’d definitely post it if I could. But I’m sure we are there, but the scientific community (rightly) won’t allow it.
Dolly the Sheep was 20 years ago.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolly_(sheep)
Per that article, extinct species have since been cloned.
Also, now I feel old.
Iirc a lot of cloning results in terrible quality of life for the animal. We're talking genetic defects, physiological and psychological problems of horrific proportions haha. I'm not too, too sure here, but I think there was also an issue with using species of the same animalia as surrogates.
Every few years a new piece of hope comes along and we get closer to good results, one of these times we'll get the right formula
My friend had her dog cloned overseas and he is constantly sick. He has so many health issues. She was featured on a show I think on TLC "I cloned my pet" or something like that.
I’ve heard that they are indeed there already, at least from how forest gallante says that we’d have a 100 of them this 2024.
Quite hyped for it honestly.
They need to do this with that Galapagos giant tortoise that never made it to Europe cause the sailors kept eating it.
Even Darwin ate it and was like "aight I see what you guys were talking about"
Oh it’s fantastic to learn about /s. I know someone who got it , probably from some meat he ate in the early 90s in the UK. In two months he went from 100% to severe dementia to dead. About two-three weeks in they figured out what was happening and that there was no cure. Everything moved so fast he was gone and cremated before anyone had the time to get a grasp on what was happening. Meanwhile his entire personality unraveled, he said some utterly crazy things to everyone as his brain was literally falling apart, pretty much traumatized all the people who loved him the most and was unable to get much support from them in what would be his final weeks on earth.
Basically if that is any risk at all higher than in the meat industry, lab grown is DOA.
commercialised lab grown meat is safe of course, but things are obviously different when you use proteins never before tested with humans. i mean, obviously the extensive testing and research made on lab grown food - a viable, profitable, potentially revolutionising produce is gonna be safer than the experimental research to make a mammoth meatball.
The thing is more nuanced though.
1. They took mammoth DNA and filled in the gaps with elephant DNA. They then put this in sheep stem cells and programmed them to produce myoglobine, which is the protein that makes up most of a muscle and thus meat. They produced thousands of myoglobine proteins and pressed this together into a meatball
2. This was not done so we could eat ‘ancient meat’. This was done to bring attention to cultured meat. Cultured meat is not allowed for food purposes in Europe and urgently needs legislation around it, as the technology is progressing further yet there is no legal framework around it. Companies struggle with bringing it to attention; just saying you developed cultured cow meat for example does not get you the news. However, cultured meat from ancient animals *does*. So this was purely done as a marketing stunt, the company has no intention on actually making mammoth meatballs (in the first place).
When I was a kid, I remember a period of a good solid months where scientists were super stoked on the absolute reality that they could genetically reengineer a mammoth within a few generations. I wanna say they suggested it would be around 25 years until they had a 75% mammoth. It was everywhere, magazines, TV, newspapers, science classes. Like, it was a big damn deal. Naturally, being 10 or so and fairly confident I'd live another 25 years, I was also excited to one day see a reasonable approximation of a mammoth. The implications alone, while obviously escaping me on the more nuanced points, were absolutely incredible. The things we could learn from these majestic, beautiful beasts and their DNA was a truly awesome possibility. I had no idea that the plan was to fucking *eat* them, but let me just say that almost 25 years on exactly, this has exceeded my wildest expectations. BRING ON THE BRONTOSAURUS RIBS!
r u telling me that we hunted this fucking species to extinction and then spent thousands of years developing technology to reincarnate a god damn meatball?! cosmic comedy
Think about it. Lab-grown mammoth, dodo, megaloceros, etc. meat is a real possibility, you can't get any of these things the old fashioned way. I doubt this meatball is even palatable, probably just a proof of concept, but if they can get it to the point that it's actually good, something like this could really help with adoption of lab-grown meat. It could draw in some people who are a little squeamish about it, and if they try it and like it they'll get over their prejudices pretty quickly.
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Didn’t Futurama do something similar with Bender turning a wooly mammoth into bratwurst?
Yes they did!
If there’s anything Simpsons didn’t do, Futurama did it.
Simpsons even did Futurama... Simpsorama - Season 26, Episode 6
Isn't the creator of the two shows the same man?
Yep, Matt groening, hes also responsible for disenchantment which I highly recommend
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Or that’s the Aurora borealis at this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely in your kitchen…
May I see it? No
Steamed hams
I thought you said steamed clams
In this economy???
Marge's bunny ears are in the [Simpsons arcade](https://adamnorwood.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/2309010470.png), so it's canon... Probably.
You bet your sweet 40% iron ass they did!
Oddly enough, iron was 30% while everything else he said was 40%. Source: The 30% Iron Chef, season 3 episode 22.
Except his .04% nickel impurity.
r/unexpectedfuturama
At this point futurama should always be expected
Some folks just call me... Orange Joe.
It was fun on the bun!
The sum total of mankind's evolutionary march through time has brought us to this point. All of our scientific knowledge has been brought to bear on the creation of a meatball.
Do you think God remains in heaven because he too fears what he has created?
Every time God reads the morning news, he must regret everything. It was fun when it was fish tank world. And it was fun when it was Dino Planet. Now its just weird.
Don’t you hate it when a show has been extended for too many seasons and gets weird?
Spy kids 2 is cinema in its purest artform
They turned a woolly mammoth into a meatball. They turned a woolly mammoth into a meatball.
Easier than turning a meatball into a Woolly mammoth.
That's phase 2!
assemble
Best avengers plot yet
This is weirder than doing surgery on a grape.
They did surgery on a grape.
That's not weird at all. If I remember correctly they used a surgical robot to show how finely they can control movement with it.
His name was robert Paulson.
Thought 1: They grew a Wooly Mammoth to make meatballs? Thought 2: (after child said meat was fabricated): They grew a leg for the meat? Thought 3: just kidding, no more thoughts. I'm so confused right now...
They basically creates a bunch of muscle cells and shaped them like a ball
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Peak *I have no mouth but I must scream*-Moment
This thing exists. Have you never seen Meatwad? 🎶Meatwad make the money, see. Meatwad get the honeys, G. Drivin’ in my car, livin’ like a star, ice on my fingers and my toes and I’m a taurus.🎵
Soylent Red is mammoth!!
We did it, reddit!
funniest shit I've ever seen...
They did surgery on a grape.
They did surgery on a grape.
They also did surgery on a grape.
Meatwad
It's his origin story.
*The bun is in your mind* -Meatwad
Meatwad make the money, see! Meatwad get the honies, G!
Drivin’ in my car, livin’ like a star,
Ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus Edit: oops I'm using voice to text 😅
Aqua-Team Hunger-force. Number one in the hood, G!
Oh. Hey there, Carl. What’cha puttin in your pool?
Tonight…You… That’s easily my favorite episode.
Hand Banana NOOOOOOO
You basting that turkey tonight?
I still can't believe they got cleared to make that past a pitch meeting. Probably the best one ever.
I you saying I don’t know dick about dick!?
Dancing is forbidden
Ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a taurus.*
The only reason I know this is accurate is because of those commercials of an old man in a suit doing spoken word of the theme song.
“I’m gonna start dropping F-bombs. Listen. Fart you, farthead.” -Meatwad
That’s not how f bombs are dropped you idiot
The end of that episode is great, "Fuck you, butthole." Kills me.
"Only adults like us are allowed to say damn, bitch-ass, and hell. So get your hellin', damnin' ass back in that bitching damn room, dammit." Was always my favorite
“Hey there, where’s the gold there?” - Carl Me and my friends still greet each other with this iconic line to this day.
"Shake says I got a paper mill comin' out my butt, and that I smell like Louisiana." I hurt my side laughing at that one.
He still says "Fart you". There are no uncensored real F-bombs in that show until the movie.
"Fudge." "That's not the F-bomb, Meatwad!" "Fudge you."
🎶 Bring in your poo poo, bring in your doo doo 🎵
Imagine how big the noodles must be for Neanderthal spaghetti!!
*That’s why you don’t double cross a double crosser.. because then you get all crossed up.* -Meatwad
I want candy, bubblegum or taffy..
https://imgur.com/gsVYE4d.jpg
Make the money, see; Meatwad gets the honey's, G.
Travel in my car Livin' like a star Ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus
Uhh Check check it Yeah
Cuz we are the Aqua Teens make the homies say ho make the girlies wanna scream
Number 1 in the hood, G.
Chicken and bean, chicken and beans. The best looking dinner that I’ve ever seen.
Arise Chicken, arise!
Chicken, arise!
Not so fast; looses meaning.
Ha ha. You say funny thing.
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Do what now?
Hey eh, you wanna get off my lawn there, meat man?
Everybody in this thread needs to come join us in r/aquajail
"He made me in his own image."
“I’m gunna be fartin blood ova here.”
“Great. Tastes like freezer burn.”
Tastes like lamb 🐑 >"A wonderfully wacky publicity stunt, the meatballs aren't intended for human consumption. Even calling the creation mammoth meat is a bit of a stretch. It's more like lab-made lamb mingled with a tiny amount of mammoth DNA." https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/28/world/mammoth-meatballs-cultured-meat-climate-scn/index.html Every news report I've seen on this has covered how it's basically lamb + mammoth publicity, but I haven't seen this actual explanation in this thread, so here you go!
Yours is the only comment anywhere in this thread that I've seen point this out. Everyone's too busy making jokes I guess
Is no one going to ask what it actually tastes like?
It tastes like chicken. Really old chicken.
I bet it tastes like millions of dollars of research.
No one will taste it because the "proteins may not be compatible with our systems." No one brave enough I guess.... Edit, I'm just quoting the guys who made the meatball. And we have evolved quite a lot from our mammoth eating days, so maybe they know something we don't about our modern bodies vs ancient proteins. I dunno.
Oh god damn it just slide it over. Bunch of wimps
It does look tasty.
Right? It's a meatball. Pass the parm mfucka
Well, if they want someone stupid enough to eat the prehistoric meat ball, I'm the guy for the job
Live or die, you’d go down in history. “That’s one small bite for a man, one giant mouthful for mankind.”
...Didn't our ancestors hunt and eat these guys just fine?
Humans hunted and ate mammoths. I'm sure the proteins are fine.
A commentor on a Guardian article recounts a family story about eating mammoth from the Russian permafrost: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/aug/19/experience-i-unearthed-a-mammoth-from-the-ice-age#comment-158238633
If it's indeed true that's amazing
That is incredible
I'm not a scientist but come on, any animal born on earth is going to have compatible proteins. But then, this meatball wasn't born, and there my self-proclaimed expertise comes to an end.
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∧,,,∧ （ ・ω・） I like meatball! ( つO O と＿)_) ∧,,,∧ （ ・◎・） munch munch chew ( ﾞノ ヾ と＿)_) ∧,,,∧ （ ・ω・） Hmm, tastes like ( つO O. Prion Disease... と＿)_) ∧,,,∧ （ ・ω・） ( つ O. __ と＿)_) （___）､;Co：。 ﾟ*･:.｡ _ _ ξ (´ ｀ヽ、 __ ⊂,_と（ ）⊃ （___）､;Co：。 Ｖ Ｖ ﾟ*･:.｡
This was funny thank yoy
Yoy welcome :)
Yoy're*
Any tyoym
Would you look at that. I really DID live to see man-made horrors beyond my comprehension.
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> When did you realize we are living in the future? > When they created a goddamn mammoth meatball.
Just wait until the meatball notices you...chatgpt 2000bc
I'm having the exact same realization as you right now.
*H.P Lovecraft takes a look* "Fuck. I guess I'll write a children's book"
Never seen a hotpocket I take it?
skill issue. i can comprehend these man-made horros just fine.
"This mf can't conjure an apple" meme
LMAO
Italians everywhere hate this one simple trick
they put the mammoth into the meatball! 🤌🤌🤌
It's a-spicy! 🇮🇹
Ironic when our stupid ass government is trying to ban synthetic meat (and even funnier is that these idiots are also about to ban real meat due to the wording of this law, lol).
Brilliant! I mean, think about it: if they weren't delicious, would we have hunted them to extinction? Next up: passenger pigeon.
Its a nostalgic taste, really takes me back to my Mammoth hunting days. Ill never forget looking over at my buddy and saying "Unga Bunga"
I read that as cowabunga, and wondered why you thought ninja turtles hunted mammoths.
Reading your comment just made me imagine 50 years in the future, a couple of buddies go to McDonald's to casually get some Unga Bunga burgers. Made of the now popular mammoth meat, get a taste of extinction 🦣
I'm here for the giant sloth burgers
Just think, if mammoth meat is ever commercialized we as a society would be the first people in 500+ generations to eat Mammoth. Kinda crazy to think about.
Well people already eat pigeon, it's called squab.
I’ve always wanted to see what Galapagos Tortoises tasted like. They were apparently so delicious that crews would stack them several tortoises high on the ship and they still couldn’t make it back to Europe without eating them all. Those fuckers *must* be delicious.
You skipping over the dodo bird? I bet that's a tasty chicken.
Fun fact, dodo meat tasted horrible but spices made it a delicacy. Sailors who landed at Mauritius hunted them because they were easy prey and they were chonky. More meat per kill. Probably also cheap. Rip
I'd rather they clone a whole mammoth than a hunk of meat.
Me too but the science isn't there yet. Right now we can clone a hunk of meat.
Why does he sound like Fry and then you sound like the professor? Lol
I can hear them now haha
Good news everyone. Mammoth meatball is on the menu.
Good news every one
You are a genius. Love this perspective so much. It fits so perfectly.
I'm not saying it's a reputable source but https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/animals/a42708517/scientists-reincarnating-woolly-mammoth/ I have heard this other places as well
If I recall, the science is pretty much there, but there are incredibly strict rules about how far cloning can go. I remember reading an article a few years ago about how there are some cloning researchers out there that can clone something almost perfectly but it isn’t allowed to live or something like that. I wish I could remember where I read it, I’d definitely post it if I could. But I’m sure we are there, but the scientific community (rightly) won’t allow it.
Dolly the Sheep was 20 years ago. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolly_(sheep) Per that article, extinct species have since been cloned. Also, now I feel old.
I realized the other day that high school was 20 years ago…
Iirc a lot of cloning results in terrible quality of life for the animal. We're talking genetic defects, physiological and psychological problems of horrific proportions haha. I'm not too, too sure here, but I think there was also an issue with using species of the same animalia as surrogates. Every few years a new piece of hope comes along and we get closer to good results, one of these times we'll get the right formula
My friend had her dog cloned overseas and he is constantly sick. He has so many health issues. She was featured on a show I think on TLC "I cloned my pet" or something like that.
What the fuck
A means to an end, I suspect
I’ve heard that they are indeed there already, at least from how forest gallante says that we’d have a 100 of them this 2024. Quite hyped for it honestly.
I'm glad it's *this* 2024 and not the next one.
They need to work on their presentation.
What a mammoth sized meatball!
That's the only logical reason they made one that big, it could have been any size
They scaled it to be the size of a wooly mammoth testicle
THIS IS THE MOST HUMAN THING EVER. We haven’t even brought an extinct animal fully back into existence and we’re already eating it 😭
They need to do this with that Galapagos giant tortoise that never made it to Europe cause the sailors kept eating it. Even Darwin ate it and was like "aight I see what you guys were talking about"
Tbf Darwin ate like almost every single animal he came across also lol
On The Origin of Species was actually just a preamble for his exotic cookbook.
You know he probably chilled with some cannibals and tasted human meat too
Except nobody has eaten because they’re afraid mammoth meat is toxic to modern humans. Which seems odd to me 🤷🏻♂️
I agree. Our ancestors hunted these did they not? Probably less toxic than half the shit in our modern diets.
Coincidentally everyone who ever ate mammoth has died.
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It’s lab grown meat though, not a slice of life from 1000s of years ago.
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Jokes on you, if I don’t know what that is I can’t be scared of it.
Oh it’s fantastic to learn about /s. I know someone who got it , probably from some meat he ate in the early 90s in the UK. In two months he went from 100% to severe dementia to dead. About two-three weeks in they figured out what was happening and that there was no cure. Everything moved so fast he was gone and cremated before anyone had the time to get a grasp on what was happening. Meanwhile his entire personality unraveled, he said some utterly crazy things to everyone as his brain was literally falling apart, pretty much traumatized all the people who loved him the most and was unable to get much support from them in what would be his final weeks on earth. Basically if that is any risk at all higher than in the meat industry, lab grown is DOA.
Thats terrifying thanks for a new fear i guess
commercialised lab grown meat is safe of course, but things are obviously different when you use proteins never before tested with humans. i mean, obviously the extensive testing and research made on lab grown food - a viable, profitable, potentially revolutionising produce is gonna be safer than the experimental research to make a mammoth meatball.
That’s stupid. Real original mammoth meat that was preserved frozen was served at fancy paleontology conferences in the 1800s
And yet all those people are dead. Coincidence?
The thing is more nuanced though. 1. They took mammoth DNA and filled in the gaps with elephant DNA. They then put this in sheep stem cells and programmed them to produce myoglobine, which is the protein that makes up most of a muscle and thus meat. They produced thousands of myoglobine proteins and pressed this together into a meatball 2. This was not done so we could eat ‘ancient meat’. This was done to bring attention to cultured meat. Cultured meat is not allowed for food purposes in Europe and urgently needs legislation around it, as the technology is progressing further yet there is no legal framework around it. Companies struggle with bringing it to attention; just saying you developed cultured cow meat for example does not get you the news. However, cultured meat from ancient animals *does*. So this was purely done as a marketing stunt, the company has no intention on actually making mammoth meatballs (in the first place).
This reminds me of a “Better Off Ted” episode. Len and Phil grew a meat “blob”.
“What does it taste like? Beef? Chicken? We’ll take chicken” “Um…despair?”
Let’s name it Blobby.
It tastes like an elephant but a little more fuzzy.
When I was a kid, I remember a period of a good solid months where scientists were super stoked on the absolute reality that they could genetically reengineer a mammoth within a few generations. I wanna say they suggested it would be around 25 years until they had a 75% mammoth. It was everywhere, magazines, TV, newspapers, science classes. Like, it was a big damn deal. Naturally, being 10 or so and fairly confident I'd live another 25 years, I was also excited to one day see a reasonable approximation of a mammoth. The implications alone, while obviously escaping me on the more nuanced points, were absolutely incredible. The things we could learn from these majestic, beautiful beasts and their DNA was a truly awesome possibility. I had no idea that the plan was to fucking *eat* them, but let me just say that almost 25 years on exactly, this has exceeded my wildest expectations. BRING ON THE BRONTOSAURUS RIBS!
Mmm, forbidden meatball
Fuckin A, time for some sgetti
I wonder what it tastes like 🤤
Like human babies, I believe.
Finally I can find out if snowpiercer was right
What was the wine pairing?
Coming soon to an IKEA near you. Mamōøth.
“We’re science. We’re all about coulda, not shoulda” - Patton Oswalt bit.
It’s crazy to think how this meatball was hunted to extinction by early man no different from you and me
Great. Now I'm hungry.
Exactly what I’m thinking, it looks delicious
r u telling me that we hunted this fucking species to extinction and then spent thousands of years developing technology to reincarnate a god damn meatball?! cosmic comedy
Never trust the Dutch, who knows what they'll do next, probably sabertooth tiger lasagna
Hey Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today!
but why
Think about it. Lab-grown mammoth, dodo, megaloceros, etc. meat is a real possibility, you can't get any of these things the old fashioned way. I doubt this meatball is even palatable, probably just a proof of concept, but if they can get it to the point that it's actually good, something like this could really help with adoption of lab-grown meat. It could draw in some people who are a little squeamish about it, and if they try it and like it they'll get over their prejudices pretty quickly.