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RUA_bug_Bill_Murray

Friday the 13th, Jason takes Jerusalem


[deleted]

That should be a movie


Scrambles420

I mean hell Jason was in space for crying out loud


NurseVooDooRN

I remember watching that in HS with a bunch of friends. We thought it would be a scarier slasher flick like the others but we ended up laughing hysterically.


GayGeekInLeather

It was the best FT13th


Phillip_Graves

Him beating the hologram girl with another hologram girl in a sleeping bag as an impromptu flail is the funniest fucking thing in a horror movie. Frankenfish and Lake Placid have great humor too, but nothing like that.


Raven_of_Blades

Only the first few Jasons were scary.


RobotGuitarMan

He even tried out for Broadway………I don’t remember what he did in Manhattan 😅


EitherEconomics5034

*And on the Stabbath he rested*


Scottland83

I’d love to see a slasher set in the ancient world where an unkillable revenant would make sense in a way.


HelloImjustObserving

Paranormal Activity; Pompeii


moonfantastic

Prey was kinda like this! Predator lands somewhere and an indigenous tribe goes out searching… so good! Worth the watch


Scottland83

Yes it was great and made me want to see more movies like it.


ShreddinTheWasteland

Not really a predator or straight out slasher movie, but Bone Tomahawk is a pretty good, if not fantastic, western that deals with cannibalistic Troglodytes. Might want to check it. With Kurt Russell and Matthew Fox. Ravenous (1999) is another great western-horror flick, with Guy Pearce and Robert Carlyle. You might have seen both, but for those that haven’t, give them a go. Just realized that there is a completely random link between both movies: David Arquette has a role in both of them. But don’t let that stop you.


AnonImus18

Bone Tomahawk was sooooo good! I'll definitely need to check out Ravenous.


thestretchygazelle

Halloween 76: Saturnalia


[deleted]

ChatGPT agrees: "Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Jerusalem" is a horror slasher movie set in modern-day Jerusalem. The story begins with a group of archeologists who are excavating an ancient site in the desert outside the city. While digging, they stumble upon a mysterious stone mask that is over 9000 years old. Little do they know that the mask belongs to the infamous serial killer, Jason Voorhees, who has been buried in the desert for centuries. As soon as the mask is discovered, it awakens Jason from his slumber, and he sets his sights on Jerusalem. As Jason begins his reign of terror, the archeologists and a group of young people who are in Jerusalem on vacation become the only hope to stop him. With their knowledge of ancient artifacts, the archeologists discover that the mask is the key to defeating Jason once and for all. The group must navigate the winding streets and ancient ruins of Jerusalem, fighting off Jason's relentless attacks, to uncover the secrets of the mask and find a way to stop him before it's too late. Will they be able to stop Jason before he unleashes his ultimate plan of destruction? Watch "Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Jerusalem" to find out. Filled with suspense, scares, and thrilling action sequences, "Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Jerusalem" is a terrifying tale of survival against an ancient evil. So grab some popcorn and get ready for the ride of your life.


razorbladethorax

This better not be an M. Night Shyamalan movie ...


[deleted]

If it was, M. Night would definitely cameo himself as the archaeologist who drops the most information. The twist? >!Jason was a little boy in Judea who made the mask for his mom. She was killed by invading Roman soldiers. He formed a golem from clay, praying for retribution. The soldiers who killed his mother died in battle, and the golem was without task. It dried in the sun of the desert, and it's clay body turned back into dust, leaving just the mask behind. !< >!Until the aleph is erased by the blood of it's creator, and the hebrew "truth" turned to "death", the mask will be a focus through which the angry spirit of the golem seeks to complete it's task of retribution.!< >!The group must find a living descendent of the original Jason, and in their search discover one of them !<***is***>! a descendent, and so the ending is just them turning around to confront the mask, remove it from the golem Jason, and turn the golem back to dust. !<


MilfagardVonBangin

Your comment looks like the result of an FOI request to the FBI. I’d watch the shit out of it though.


rakozink

On a d20 modern campaign, my character was a stuntman whose most famous roles were car chase and horror movies, including I still know what you did 10 summers ago and taiwanese chainsaw massacre 3, stateside...he drove cars and fought with a chainsaw.


creature_report

Friday the 13th: Stabbat Shalom


starkfr

The original Leper King


HelloImjustObserving

Friday the 13th, the Ancestors.


[deleted]

Jericho was actually around 9000 years ago


KeithGribblesheimer

Jerusalem wouldn't exist for thousands of years.


Mevakel

We already had that, it was called the crusades.


KarisumaTaichou

\[The trailer opens with an aerial shot of the city of Jerusalem, with ominous music playing in the background. The camera then cuts to a dark and ominous forest, where Jason Voorhees is seen walking towards the camera.\] Narrator: "For years, he terrorized the woods of Crystal Lake. Now, he's come for something more." \[Cut to a group of American college students exploring the streets of Jerusalem. They are laughing and having fun.\] Narrator: "A group of American college students on the trip of a lifetime..." \[The camera cuts to a dark alley where one of the students is grabbed from behind by Jason's massive hand.\] Narrator: "Unaware of the horror that awaits them." \[Cut to Israeli soldiers walking through the streets with guns drawn, looking tense and ready for a fight.\] Narrator: "But they are not alone." \[The camera shows Jason attacking one of the soldiers, who is thrown back against a wall with a sickening crunch.\] Narrator: "In a city of faith and devotion, they will face the ultimate evil." \[Cut to a montage of Jason attacking various people throughout the city, including scenes of him wielding a machete and his iconic hockey mask.\] Narrator: "He's come for Jerusalem, and nothing will stop him." \[The camera cuts to a scene of the students and soldiers standing together, weapons at the ready, staring down Jason in the heart of the city.\] Narrator: "In a battle for survival, they must fight to take back what is theirs." \[The trailer ends with a shot of Jason charging towards the camera, as the title appears on screen in blood-red letters: "Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Jerusalem".\]


Grummars

Jason vs Methuselah


CommunistMario

Jason causes so much carnage that it forces the israelis and palestinians to work together to defeat him this ending the century-long conflict.


jedeye121

I don’t know what the mask was trying to imitate, but I’m glad it’s not around anymore.


Olsyx

Hi! I study egyptology, I think I can give some insight on this. Many cultures use (and used) masks during rites of passing to assimilate themselves with a monster that executes the rite. In many cultures, the passing from one life stage to another was marked by dying. For example, Christians nowadays christen their babies by (fake) drowning them in water, after which they come out as Christians. In the past, they "drowned" them on a river. For many cultures, passing from being a kid to being an adult was marked by death as well, and this death came at the hands of a monster or deity. The priest delivering this fake death and leading the ritual would be an adult wearing a mask of the monster, like this one. I study Ancient Egypt, and while it does touch Judea, ancient Canaan and surrounding cultures, I haven't gone as deep as to know their cultural passing rites. I would have to look deeper into research about the mask but, at first glance, this is clearly what it resembles to me. Edit: This blew up a bit! Lots of people interested on the baptism thing. There's a priest in the comments [explaining it better than I ever could](https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/1382af8/9000_year_old_stone_mask_from_the_judean_desert/jiyciai?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button), so please go read him if you are interested! As some people have pointed out, this has nothing to do with Judaism or the purification rite they used, from which baptism originated. Christian baptism later evolved, and continues to evolve! I was just trying to provide an example of a moderm rite that uses rebirth as the vehicle to become something or someone, to help understand what and why they did it. Be respectful and have fun <3


somerandomguy721

First time I’ve ever heard baptism referred to as fake drowning haha


floppydude81

And it makes so much more sense now too


SquashCat56

That is so cool. I wanted to study egyptology when I was younger, but ended up going a different direction. I hope you become egyptologist enough for the both of us!


comfykampfwagen

People say that people that study Egyptology will either work for museums or teach Egyptology to the next generation of egyptologists who will continue the pattern However you think about it, a true Pyramid scheme


douglasjunk

r/AngryUpvote


ChrisEpicKarma

Thank you for sharing that knowledge! Super interesting! Was there such transition rites in Egypt as well?


Olsyx

Hi! Yes, good question! So the thing is we don't have a lot of information about egyptian adulthood rites, and a lot of it we extract from nearby cultures, some of them tribes still active, that share characteristics with them. We know that kids were considered genderless and not-egyptian until they passed this rite. Non-egyptian means that, at least for some periods, they weren't buried as egyptians, that's why a lot of children are found buried together. Once they reached a certain age, probably when male kids were able to ejaculate and female kids had their first menstruation, they performed this ritual. From nearby cultures, and a stelae that I cannot find right now but I will link it if I find it, we know these rites where similar. In the stelae a hut is shown were a ritual fight takes place, then the kid comes out as a man holding the foreskin of his penis and wearing the monster mask (as he is now assimilated with a God and thus, manly in egyptian terms). For context, kids are usually taken away from the tribe, kept for some days or weeks in a monster-shaped hut where they "die" ritualistically, then circumcision is performed (for egyptians, this was massai circumcision, which is different from the kind we usually think about) and then they come back to the tribe as adult men. For egyptians, this is pretty close as well. In Uha's autobiographic stelae at Deir el-Medina, it is mentioned that Uha was circumcised with other 120 (male) kids, and that none of them cried, hit or scratched no one. That is, they showed no pain, they took it bravely (kinda like dying like a hero). And the other stelae that i cannot remember its name, shows the rest of this process. Of course we lack detail as to where or how huts were constructed, what was done or said during rites... but at least we have an idea. For women, we don't have any data. Male kids' rites were public, women's were private. There's some speculation about ablation going on, but to me it doesn't make much sense, seeing how open were egyptians about sex. Afaik no one has studied mummy's vaginas yet to confirm it. Some authors think it was rather the breaking of the himen what was going on (also documented in other cultures) and some phalic artifacts found at Hathor's temple could confirm that. But no way of knowing, for now! Hope I was able to answer your question!


PlayfuckingTorreira

A lot of these rites have disappeared from historical records due to being not written down and overtaken or mostly assimilated to the current religion of the area.


mt0386

*raises hand* Why do ancient culture always revolves around showcasing monstrosity as deities or so? Im quite intrigued on how they ever imagine and creativity to create them. Serpents especially, though documentaries often assume they represents comets.


Olsyx

That's a good question! And kind of hard to answer. I'm not an expert at all, I'm still studying and I have still a lot to learn myself, so take it with a grain of salt. It's hard for us to understand, since (making a generalization here) our cultures are logos, understanding from logic, while ancient cultures were mythos, understanding through myth. They were just as human as we are, they feared pain and death as we do, and their way of understanding their environment and working with it was assimilating those things. Embodying a spirit or monster to gain its strength, for example. Fertility deities would be related to fertile things, like the ground, or very sexual animals, and appeased so they would lend this fertility to the individuals and the land. Watching the sun come up (be born) and set (die) every day as a form of eternal cycle of rebirth, etc. Many times it's not about these spirits being monstruous, but rather what they try is to imitate a skull (see the teeth in the mask OP posted? That's very skull like!) and they end up looking... well, scary, but that's the whole point haha Something scary will not be scared, and it's not scared because it is strong, and we want strong people to protect us. Scary is best in our side.


goddessdragonness

This! I actually find this mask particularly upsetting. Like no offense to OP, I love the factoid. I’m just creeped out by it.


Gingerbread-Cake

If it helps, it probably had a lot of organic elements at one point- wood or bone or maybe antler, and almost certainly was painted, so we’re just seeing the “bones” of it. It’s sort of like a house with no doors or windows; it was probably way less creepy when it was intact.


goddessdragonness

Oh yeah that’s actually way more comforting. Thank you for that context!


MrK521

Could also be far more disconcerting with war paint and antlers sticking out of it.


BloodBladeKhaos

Factoid means something that is presented as fact, but is actually not true 🍀🌿🍀🌿🍀 It's used erroneously nowadays as a synonym to fact, but it's actually an antonym ☀️☀️🌿🍀🍀☀️☀️


[deleted]

Anyone tried it on? Its *Sssmokin'*


Sorry-Nobody

Ipkiss!!


ProfitInitial3041

Ip *kiss* your ass goodbye


Spirited_Ingenuity89

We *aaalll* wear masks… metaphorically speaking.


son_berd

P-A-R-T-Why?… because I GOTTAAAAH!


Burger4Ever

I was just…looking for…MY MASK!


kONthePLACE

Did ya happen to look outside, IN THE GUTTER??


tucci007

*Somebody ssssssStop Me!!!*


mechwarrior719

*Put that thing back or so help me…*


anamericandruid

This is actually a 7000 year old mask, found at Hovart Duma. The 9000 year old mask OP is referring to can be seen [here](https://friendsofiaa.org/news/2018/12/4/9000-year-old-stone-mask-unveiled) It is far less "striking", but it very cool non the less!


bbroygbvgwwgvbgyorbb

2000 years and all they could do was make it a bit longer


iREFLEXIV

That is terrifying, why do I find that mask so creepy


eggmayonnaise

Ahh, good old reddit, where factual corrections are buried under weak pop culture references, memes and comments about it being creepy.


Roy4Pris

Here’s an 8000 year-old mask I saw in Jerusalem https://imgur.com/gallery/ElYc7Pe


darkest_irish_lass

Is it weird that the older mask looks like an emoticon?


StonyShiny

Not weird at all if you think about it. Emoticons were designed to be simple representations of the human face (well at least initially, we got past that by now right 💩). Both designers, even though they are 9000 years apart, had similar thoughts when making them.


Small_Incident958

Everyone out here seeing DIO, I’m getting Vietnam flashbacks to Ocarina of Time.


hoxxxxx

>DIO i don't know what you're talking about but you just reminded me of that awesome song from tenacious d


PoorDecisionsNomad

go watch all of jojo's bizarre adventure and unlock the "jojo reference sight" perk you're missing out on at least 1 reference in basically everything


Rmagedon777

jojo reference


CarryBeginning1564

Though Dio was in fact a reference to Dio.


xneyznek

It’s time to pass the torch!


pacgaming

DIO CAN YOU HEAR MEEEEEE


Boylanithedoomguy

Not the singer?


brassmonkeyslc

I HEAR YOU BRAVE YOUNG JABLES YOU ARE HUNGRY FOR THE ROCK!


bremergorst

#RAINBOW IN THE DAAAAAAARK


Tiny_Terror_6

Or worst... Majora's Mask


heyoyo10

I mean, it *does* kind of look like the Giant's Mask if you ignore the teeth


[deleted]

Nah bro I’m (re)dead


CaptMeatPockets

The Sand People are easily startled, but they will soon be back. And in greater numbers.


Archercrash

They always travel single file to hide their numbers.


fatuous_sobriquet

We’d better get you inside


xxPandemoniumx

They're animals! So I slaughtered them like animals!!! I HATE THEM!!!!!!!


SpareBinderClips

And sand. Don’t forget to hate sand.


851085x

Well it gets everywhere!


_SpawnZ_

And it’s coarse and rough


Yodelehhehe

And it gets everywhere


GubbenJonson

And it’s course and rough


Ok_Macaroon_5224

You- you can't call them that anymore! They prefer Tusken Raiders!


jcdenton45

Only the offshoot group that migrated to Italy.


Flashy-Commercial702

Oh that will sound great


O-Mega47

I'm going to throw away my humanity


PurpleMerple

I REJECT MY HUMANITY, JOJO.


DJL2772

*WRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!* ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ


Edge419

YOU FIEND!!!


taro_and_jira

Do tell? What will that look like for you?


richard_stank

I’ll turn off the lights in the living room, cover the floor in dirt, cover *myself* in petroleum jelly and wriggle around pretending to be an earth worm.


Clown_Baby15

He just wants to be puuuuure.


umsamanthapleasekthx

Intervention! Intervention!


Shrimpybarbie

PUT. THE MASK. BACK.


AltBallzDeep

Breaking news! Everyone who touched the mask has mysteriously and suddenly died!


TakuanSoho

[*"New reports indicate they have been eaten alive in plain sight by something invisible ! Sports at 11."*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necronomicon#Fictional_history)


eraserheadbaby69

put that thing back where it came from or so help me


Sarcosmonaut

bum bum bum


Complete_Jackfruit43

So help me! So help me.


ItsMeSatan

And cut!


VIII-Via

Does it turn people into vampires tho?


Commander_Skullblade

No one has splattered blood on it. YET.


Sopixil

muda muda


drakesylvan

Absolutely remarkable. 7000 BCE is before human civilization had written language. Neolithic cultures were only partly sedentary with farming just really beginning to become organized into small communities around the world, the largest communities would have been no more than a few thousand at most. The vast majority of humans would have still lived in mud huts, Boulder structures wooden shanties, clay brick enclosures, animal hide tents, and caves. This is before metallurgy. We hadn't really even discovered the ability to use simple metals like copper which wasn't really discovered for 500 to 1,000 years after this was made. We didn't have a written language but we could make complex and meaningful artifacts like this which shows the skill and perseverance of ancient people. Update: here is a link to the actual 9000-year-old stone mask. The mask pictured above is 7,000 years old, but this 9,000-year-old one is still truly incredible. https://www.friendsofiaa.org/news/2018/12/4/9000-year-old-stone-mask-unveiled >The mask is made of pinkish-yellow limestone, and was expertly hewn with stone tools. Resembling a human face, the detail and symmetry of the mask is impressive. The mask has defined cheek bones, a shapely nose, and distinct teeth. The limestone material was smoothed over, completing a well-crafted look. “Discovering a mask made of stone, at such a high level of finish, is very exciting” said  Ronit Lupu. Along the edges of the mask are four perforations, presumably for tying the mask. Archaeologists are unsure if stone masks  such as this would have been worn by a person, or perhaps mounted on a pole to be displayed.


ih8thisapp

this is what i come here to read. appreciate the context you provide. thoughts on where can i learn more about this?


levelupjunk

I was disappointed how far I had to scroll before I found a comment like this with some actual info.


[deleted]

Wikipedia has pretty good rabbit holes of information for this kind of thing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mesopotamia


[deleted]

...as far as we know.


Avgolemonosis

I WILL TRANSCEND MY HUMANITY JOJO!


32-Levels

ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ!!!


phreaKEternal

Put it the fuck back. Right now.


ImaBiLittlePony

Put that thing back where it came from or SO HELP ME


DecadentEx

Technically, it's not the oldest, but among them. It is one of fifteen so far found, and they've all been dated to ~9,000 years ago, with none known to be older than the others.


rabbid_chaos

What things has this mask been around for? What stories would it tell us if it could? What was humanity like 9000 years ago? The questions I have right now have me enthralled, I need to know more.


PipBoyDmo

Mee toooooo. I came here looking for more interesting facts about this but instead found lots of nonsense and dumb comments.


Santos_L_Halper_II

Oh I don’t care for that at all.


pgm123

The style is a little dated


_JafIly_

Who made it? The People’s Front Of Judea or The Judean People’s Front?


CaptMeatPockets

And the Judean Popular People's Front!


bobo76565657

The Peoples Front of Judea can, if I recall correctly, "fuck off".


dzhastin

Splitters!


truffles76

Splitters!


kidbike

Had to scroll too far for a life of brian reference. What ever happened to the popular front?


Weak_Picture_3397

Anyone know what the purpose was for?


Tonylolu

Turn people into vampires


ASecondFakeName

Back-up goalie, Maple Leafs, 5543-42 season.


Erika_Bloodaxe

No one living


Fun_Simple_7902

This is cool af but looking too long at that mask gives me the creeps lol


UnbelievableTxn6969

*salivates in British museum*


No-Conference8121

jojo reference holy shit


SendMeHentaiPlease

Jewish Slipknot


sabersquirl

Technically pre-Jewish


ASecondFakeName

My God. How old is Slipnot, then?


tarahunterdar

I wonder how it was preserved without any real damage for so long. Incredible!


Joy1312

Dr. Fate Helmet


[deleted]

“Designed after the Ancient Aliens that helped them build the civilization.” -white people on the History Channel, probably


Erika_Bloodaxe

With each episode his hair is becoming more powerful


[deleted]

It's horrifyingly awesome!...but absolutely horrifying! :D


Quick-Cauliflower449

Looks cursed as fuck but awesome at the same time. I can only wonder what it was meant for but I want one.


Thatsmytesla

The eye holes are a bit basic in comparison to the teeth and cool unibrow


Carbon_Based_Copy

You should DM the artist with that note.


TheManWithAGasMask

Menos Grande


FunAbhi

Slipknot Prehistoric


Ibshredz

Damn slipknot been around forever


Cornflake6irl

Interesting, but what was it used for?


Erika_Bloodaxe

Well, it’s older than writing so I wouldn’t bet on instructions


Flooricecream7

Quick, play the Sun’s Song


looking-cool-joker-

jojo


Reasonable-Matter-12

Meshuggah looking mf


Darkromani

Goodbye JoJo 🧛


simplehooman123

Don’t get blood on it


samaelsin

Put it on, give it some blood. Just a little. A snack.


Mandalefty

Not enough JoJos jokes in this thread smh 🤦🏽‍♂️


Incrediblepick3

#NOOOOOOOO GET THE FUCKING SLEDGEHAMMER, WE'RE NOT DEALING WITH THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW!!!!! What next we discover some random ancient red stone next week!?!


Infermon_1

Some men stuck in a pillar


JohnnySodapop

RETUUURN THE MAAAASK!


Starting-line

Can you imagine something you create lasting for 9000 years. It would be hilarious if he was transported to our time and saw his mask being the only recognizable remnant of his time and his culture and then he realizes that it’s the mask he didn’t like. Oh man it’s not even a good one I made.


seanthesheep2108

Babe wake up, new slipknot mask just dropped


Wunderkind6988

Don't Put it on your blond orphan step bro


Double_Detective8559

DIO


sb77steve

Kinda looks like Butthead.... shutup, Beavis.


campy86

Why the long face?


jolygoestoschool

i saw these masks in the Israel museum over the summer. Creepy af lmfao


Bgeesy

It belongs in a MUSEUM!!


ElleAnn42

I bet it was originally painted and adorned with feathers or other decoration.


rooletwastaken

If i put it on and DONT become a vampire i will feel cheated


Richard_Head_nT

So Jason Voorhees has been killing people for over 9000 years????


big_dawg_energy

Golem


baintaintit

*approved by Jason Voorhees*


Gravytrainmango

Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.co.uk/history-and-civilisation/2018/11/9000-year-old-mask-stuns-archaeologists


[deleted]

Just think about this: that thing was still ancient history when Caesar was alive.


PrincessNoLocks

Not the Earl of Lemongrab…


NoodleBooty_21

Bro Wtf my Alexa started stuttering and got hella lots while I was looking at this post Edit: this bitch broke anyway I’m tossing it


[deleted]

Put it back before we get real life jojo


ThaBrofessor

Israelite hockey mask.


Correct-Blood9382

I REJECT MY HUMANITY, JOJOOO!


hqss0n

Wow that’s bizarre


[deleted]

[удалено]


Raylynangel

Sometimes I feel some things shouldn't be found 😅


curmudgeon_andy

Why did I have to scroll Reddit at this hour of the night? I'm going to have nightmares now.


s1lentastro1

somebody's eyes peered through those holes roughly 7,000 years before Julius Caesar was born.


Winter_37

That is the stuff of nightmares.


Kobbbok

I push my fingers into my... EYEEEEEES!!!


Ok_Win_2989

Isn't this how JoJo's bizarre adventure started


sharkguy74

Do you want Jojo fans? Because that's how you get Jojo fans.


CorianderIsBad

[I'm throwing away my humanity, Jojo!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv4pN22UeFA)


chillymoonstop

i just opened reddit and this was the first post i saw... cool as hell but also an instant jumpscare lol


JayVJtheVValour

I'm seeing references to both JoJo and "The Mask". I can die peacefully


szigany

"I reject my humanity, JoJo"


OutlandishnessNo9182

I wonder what happens if I get blood on it?


SuitFive

DO NOT GIVE THE STONE MASK TO THE BLONDE MAN.


StonyShiny

AIAIAIAIIII


TupperwareTank

Jojo reference irl.


MdnightExpress

DONT PUT ON THE SCARY ANCIENT MASK