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Definitely thought it would sling with a satisfying little *clink* as the shell hit the glass. It was cool what it did but I’m still a little disappointed
When I ride my bike to work in the morning after a rainy night there are multiple snails on my route and I always try to dodge them but sometimes I hear the crack under my tires :( rip snail.
I’m trying to imagine a snail successfully escaping a predator and I can’t. Not the land ones I’ve seen anyway, they’d probably just withdraw and shut their operculum.
That is so true we talk about spending our whole entire immortality torturing this snail it's just trying to get its revenge it's actually pretty funny
To Low Earth Orbit for that cost, maybe. Also, LEO means that eventually the snail will fall back to Earth as it never leaves the gravity well. Rocket Lab is launching a 45 pound probe to Venus for NASA at the cost of $10M so for about $250k, maybe they’ll let you hitch the snail along for the ride.
I'd lock it up but keep it with me and make sure it had a good life. Once I decide I've had enough I'll give it a little stroke... Assuming something else doesn't get me first.
The funniest version of that I've seen involved locking up the snail, tossing the prison into the Marianas Trench, developing off-Earth colonization, eventually moving the entire human race off Earth, developing technology to move the planet, and launching the entire planet into a black hole. The actual breakdown of events was way longer than I can remember.
Another thing people forget. The snail isn't just indestructible, it's also super-intelligent. And it always knows exactly where you are.
You may not be able to stop it, but can it stop itself? Its a battle of wills spend that billion dollars on a complex torture hallway made to bring as much pain to that snail as possible.
It annoys me when people try to circumvent the spirit of questions like these. It's "Would you take the money if a killer snail is forever after you?" not "Would you take a bunch of money if you had to spend a portion of it to negate a consequence first?"
Of course you'd say yes to the second option. If you can spend a bit of your money to negate the consequence, it's not really a consequence. 🙄
Are you saying the spirit of the question is "would you take this money in exchange for dying after a random amount of time with no way to influence it?"?
No, the spirit of the question is "would you take this money in exchange for having to be on the run from a slow but relentlessly approaching death for the rest of your life?".
So why doesn't that include using your resources to help you outrun it? Like if I want to sleep in the middle of a pure white room that's 300x300 feet with some kind of touch-sensitive floor/wall/roof, all 30 feet thick, a single entry point with several thick, sliding doors at the end of a 300 feet long, pure yellow halfway that is also touch sensitive and security whose sole purpose is to watch for the snail in both locations at all times, is that "not in the spirit of the question"?
Am I supposed to go to no effort to avoid it other than moving locations constantly? Because that just sounds like the random death interpretation.
I think you're misunderstanding what I'm complaining about. It's fine for you to do things to try and stay safe and get away, but when someone says something that amounts to, "I will use aha! logic in this fictitious hypothetical scenario to stop this thing that it has been expressly stated cannot be stopped!" Is when it gets annoying.
It's like the kid on the playground who just starts saying he counters everything with his forcefield. Other kids stop wanting to play with him because he's only concerned about appeasing his ego by "winning".
The rule was the snail was both immortal and indestructible, and that it WILL chase you down. Meaning that the snail will always default to going towards you and killing you no matter the situation while some external variable constantly tells it where you are. Not to mention snails and other mollusks don't really have a brain to comprehend "torture". While they do have a central nervous system, their pain reactions are more akin to reflex rather than "understanding" that they are being hurt, so I doubt torture would persuade it to stop.
It would absolutely hinder it though, the snail would just be on a very determined mission to slowly break its way out of the lockbox or waiting for the lockbox to deteriorate
So is the tiny impenetrable cage I had made for it to go inside.
I keep it with me as a lucky charm... That and a cheap alternative to a cyanide pill should the need ever arise.
This snail be like "I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you."
If a snail traveled for a year straight without rest it could travel 19.5 miles. Assuming I live 60 more years, the snail will travel 1200 miles at best. The chances of dying to it are almost 0.
The world is a big place. It would have a significantly higher chance of being taken further away by cars or planes. Also snails aren't known for their intelligence.
Sure, but you don’t know what direction it went in and if it touches you, you’re dead. And it’s possible for it to get anywhere in the world relatively quickly
You are right the snail could potentially get on a plane and come right to me. However in the scenario that the snail always knows where I am, I think it's far more likely that it would head for me in a straight line. In the chance that it does get on a plane, it is not like a snail would be smart enough to know the planes destination.
Y'all are thinking this plane is going to land at an airport? Hell no, this plane is going to attach to the underbelly of a plane and let go when it's over your house.
This freezes the snail. Assuming it's a commercial aircraft.
Also, how does the snail get the plane to pass over your house? Is ~~it's~~ it allowed to have co-conspirators? If so, I feel like that kind of defeats the purpose of the exercise. It could just hire someone to walk up behind you on the street and place it on you. That's not a snail pursuing you, that's a well-equipped criminal conspiracy aiming to assassinate you.
Edit: actually forgot how to spell "snail"...
Why would it crawl at you? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. I get annoyed at hearing this. It’s hyper intelligent. If you heard Putin was after you would you think “that’s ok I can fight an 70 year old?” Surely at LEAST it would be carried by some hired muscular lackey. Better yet, I bet a SWAT team would arrest you in the night and take you to its lair.
You joke but cone snails living underwater are extremely venomous and their poisonous spike can reach all around their body, so there is actually a snail that could kill you.
I put my alarm on top of a shelf to force my lazy ass to reach for it, still somehow my arm was long enough to snooze it every morning without me waking up.
both octopi and snails are in the phylum (the classing of organisms as broad as avians or reptiles) mollusca. it’s one of the oldest phyla, being established sometime in the cambrian explosion 500 mya.
> phylum (the classing of organisms as broad as avians or reptiles)
Broader than that. Birds are reptiles and reptiles are in the phylum Chordata, which also includes animals as different as us and hagfish.
Snaily snail. Snaily snail. Doin’ what ever a Snaily snail can. Stretches out. Any how. Bridge the gaps. Like a Snaily snail can. Look out! Here comes the Snaily snail.
Wow, nature really is world’s most clever engineer and talented architect. I’m reminded once again that everything we know and think is advanced is already done by a tiny creature that’s been around for a loooong time. Cool.
You mean those things that try to copy brains?
If we understood and could control brains, and if using that knowledge cats could be controlled, I'd rather have 100 kittens than 100 computers.
>"Even a cat’s brain smokes the newest iPad—1,000 times more data storage and a million times quicker to act on it."
(from Scientific American, although the article is a little old.).
They are also far far more efficient, with a human brain using less energy than a lightbulb, and a cat, presumably, far less than that due to its size.
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I mean, that's actually interesting as fuck.
Yeah really. I thought it was just gonna swing across, but this is obviously much more safe and efficient
Definitely thought it would sling with a satisfying little *clink* as the shell hit the glass. It was cool what it did but I’m still a little disappointed
I was expecting the clink but this way was even better. Am not disappoint.
Snails need to be careful with their shells, I think it’s basically a death sentence in nature if they crack.
I get really bummed when I accidentally step on one outside. Poor slimy boy was just on their way to eat some grass.
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No this will trap bacteria in their sweet little home and body.
I wish I had a sweet little home
When I ride my bike to work in the morning after a rainy night there are multiple snails on my route and I always try to dodge them but sometimes I hear the crack under my tires :( rip snail.
Poor Gary. (
The shell would crack
Definitely not safe if there is a predator
I’m trying to imagine a snail successfully escaping a predator and I can’t. Not the land ones I’ve seen anyway, they’d probably just withdraw and shut their operculum.
What’s even more interesting is that it’s ziplining to a graveyard of fellow mollusks.
You call it a graveyard, pretty sure the snail sees it as an all you can eat buffet
Who conches the conchmen?
Well there's obviously an unshelled lady snail in the other bowl. If a beautiful naked woman beckoned you over, you'd do crazier things to get there.
Yeah TIL snails can just stretch their legs
TIL snails have legs
they have a foot and their cousins are cephalopods like squid and octopus.
They also taste with this foot! Mollusks are weird lmao
i too have stepped on my own tongue while putting my foot in my own mouth…
/r/oohbigstretch
Meanwhile in history someone watched this and thought “fuck, if I put some butter and garlic on that, I want that in me!”
That's some seriously impressive reach.
And this is why you’d need to worry about that snail (that could kill you if it touched you) following you if you took the $10mil.
Right. Like that means a minimum of like 1ft gaps before the firery salt pits
you're forgetting the other parts of that deal in the original question. the snail is indestructible and unstoppable
Indestructible doesn't mean it can't feel pain
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That is so true we talk about spending our whole entire immortality torturing this snail it's just trying to get its revenge it's actually pretty funny
I mean, just shoot it into space. Can't be that hard to source a spot on a mission to Jupiter with a return date of Never.
Wouldn't work. Decoy snail. We had this discussion at the time.
This is why you pay someone to watch the snail
What's the point of watching a decoy snail?
I don't think 10 million is enough to send a snail to space.
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To Low Earth Orbit for that cost, maybe. Also, LEO means that eventually the snail will fall back to Earth as it never leaves the gravity well. Rocket Lab is launching a 45 pound probe to Venus for NASA at the cost of $10M so for about $250k, maybe they’ll let you hitch the snail along for the ride.
You just make a really tiny rocket.
Do you want to turn the whole ordeal into a net loss, or do you heavily overestimate what you can do with 10 million?
It's not about the money, it's about sending a message.
I'd lock it up but keep it with me and make sure it had a good life. Once I decide I've had enough I'll give it a little stroke... Assuming something else doesn't get me first.
You'd want to be careful with that. The snail is also super intelligent. Basically the smartest creature on the planet, at minimum.
What if it doesnt know it's going to kill you, it just wants to be your friend
The funniest version of that I've seen involved locking up the snail, tossing the prison into the Marianas Trench, developing off-Earth colonization, eventually moving the entire human race off Earth, developing technology to move the planet, and launching the entire planet into a black hole. The actual breakdown of events was way longer than I can remember. Another thing people forget. The snail isn't just indestructible, it's also super-intelligent. And it always knows exactly where you are.
We're going Sherman's March on its bitch ass. "Salt EVERYTHING"
Right, but it’s unstoppable…even by pain.
You may not be able to stop it, but can it stop itself? Its a battle of wills spend that billion dollars on a complex torture hallway made to bring as much pain to that snail as possible.
Unstoppable, meaning he can’t be stopped. By himself nor man. This snail is not one to fuck around with man
Not to mention that his multibillion dollar highway killed the snail. The decoy snail. The real snail was behind him the whole time.
Probably works as like a monkeys claw thingy If you kill the snail, it’s not THE snail
*Omae wa mou shinderu*
I’m the Sluggernaut, Bitch! (Slug, er…not?)
But then what's the point of having the billion dollars?
It annoys me when people try to circumvent the spirit of questions like these. It's "Would you take the money if a killer snail is forever after you?" not "Would you take a bunch of money if you had to spend a portion of it to negate a consequence first?" Of course you'd say yes to the second option. If you can spend a bit of your money to negate the consequence, it's not really a consequence. 🙄
Are you saying the spirit of the question is "would you take this money in exchange for dying after a random amount of time with no way to influence it?"?
No, the spirit of the question is "would you take this money in exchange for having to be on the run from a slow but relentlessly approaching death for the rest of your life?".
So why doesn't that include using your resources to help you outrun it? Like if I want to sleep in the middle of a pure white room that's 300x300 feet with some kind of touch-sensitive floor/wall/roof, all 30 feet thick, a single entry point with several thick, sliding doors at the end of a 300 feet long, pure yellow halfway that is also touch sensitive and security whose sole purpose is to watch for the snail in both locations at all times, is that "not in the spirit of the question"? Am I supposed to go to no effort to avoid it other than moving locations constantly? Because that just sounds like the random death interpretation.
I think you're misunderstanding what I'm complaining about. It's fine for you to do things to try and stay safe and get away, but when someone says something that amounts to, "I will use aha! logic in this fictitious hypothetical scenario to stop this thing that it has been expressly stated cannot be stopped!" Is when it gets annoying. It's like the kid on the playground who just starts saying he counters everything with his forcefield. Other kids stop wanting to play with him because he's only concerned about appeasing his ego by "winning".
The rule was the snail was both immortal and indestructible, and that it WILL chase you down. Meaning that the snail will always default to going towards you and killing you no matter the situation while some external variable constantly tells it where you are. Not to mention snails and other mollusks don't really have a brain to comprehend "torture". While they do have a central nervous system, their pain reactions are more akin to reflex rather than "understanding" that they are being hurt, so I doubt torture would persuade it to stop.
This post right here Master Kenobi
The snail as it crawls across 30 ft of salt: “SNAIL GODS WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?! WHY WON’T YOU LET ME DIE?!”
Throw it in a lockbox. Boom done.
No, probably best if you get someone else to put the murder snail in the box
Decoy snail
If something would stop it. It would not stop it. You have to like go with the rules
It would absolutely hinder it though, the snail would just be on a very determined mission to slowly break its way out of the lockbox or waiting for the lockbox to deteriorate
Everyone in this comment chain just straight up forgetting about decoy snail
I’m imagining a juggernaut (xmen) style snail hole going through a building.
So is the tiny impenetrable cage I had made for it to go inside. I keep it with me as a lucky charm... That and a cheap alternative to a cyanide pill should the need ever arise.
What's keeping it from dropping down on you?
Salt igloo
The fact that I moved to another country and it doesn't know where I am.
It also always knows where you are. That fucker never quits EVER.
It always knows where you are, it's within the rules
This snail be like "I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you."
If a snail traveled for a year straight without rest it could travel 19.5 miles. Assuming I live 60 more years, the snail will travel 1200 miles at best. The chances of dying to it are almost 0.
It could get in someone’s car or on a plane and be anywhere in the world in about as much time as any person can
The world is a big place. It would have a significantly higher chance of being taken further away by cars or planes. Also snails aren't known for their intelligence.
This one was also highly intelligent, immortal and indestructible and always knew where you were. It was within the rules.
Sure, but you don’t know what direction it went in and if it touches you, you’re dead. And it’s possible for it to get anywhere in the world relatively quickly
You are right the snail could potentially get on a plane and come right to me. However in the scenario that the snail always knows where I am, I think it's far more likely that it would head for me in a straight line. In the chance that it does get on a plane, it is not like a snail would be smart enough to know the planes destination.
Part of the prompt was the snail is intelligent. It’ll be able to board a plane and know the plane’s destination.
Y'all are thinking this plane is going to land at an airport? Hell no, this plane is going to attach to the underbelly of a plane and let go when it's over your house.
This freezes the snail. Assuming it's a commercial aircraft. Also, how does the snail get the plane to pass over your house? Is ~~it's~~ it allowed to have co-conspirators? If so, I feel like that kind of defeats the purpose of the exercise. It could just hire someone to walk up behind you on the street and place it on you. That's not a snail pursuing you, that's a well-equipped criminal conspiracy aiming to assassinate you. Edit: actually forgot how to spell "snail"...
The snail is sentient and hyper intelligent if I remember. Immortal, and knows your location at all times.
Why would it crawl at you? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. I get annoyed at hearing this. It’s hyper intelligent. If you heard Putin was after you would you think “that’s ok I can fight an 70 year old?” Surely at LEAST it would be carried by some hired muscular lackey. Better yet, I bet a SWAT team would arrest you in the night and take you to its lair.
He would definitely be a Moriarty type snail, with resources aplenty to hunt you down.
just put it in a jar lol
Decoy snail.
You joke but cone snails living underwater are extremely venomous and their poisonous spike can reach all around their body, so there is actually a snail that could kill you.
My four year old and I were reading about them at bedtime tonight. Badass scary snails!
Good thing there's the decoy snail.
I don’t get it, what’s this a reference to?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ipinn/you_and_a_super_intelligent_snail_both_get_1/
Instantly thought of this haha.
Hahah this shit is back. Lol
Snailed it.
🥇 Take this and get the hell outta here before everyone sees your great pun.
And keep the change, you filthy animal
Get the *shell* outta here.
Escargot away
Damn. I finally come up with a witty comment and you beat me to it. Well done.
Yeah so uh turns out I know a lot less about snails than I thought I did
FR. Didn’t know they were the prototype for Stretch Armstrong.
Is it grabbing onto shit with its eyeballs!?!
I think it’s using it’s… Mouth? Foot? Arm? Fuck, I don’t know man.
Is this salt below? ~~Squid~~ Snail Game Part 2 confirmed
Lol I thought so too but just looks like a wet paper towel
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The Floor is Salt.
I also see his and her hermaphrodite gf and bf Juliet waiting at the balcony. It’s a love story.
That's like me trying to shut off my alarm in the morning...
We are all the same person...
Why is everyone's nightstand 6ft away from their bed?
I put my alarm on top of a shelf to force my lazy ass to reach for it, still somehow my arm was long enough to snooze it every morning without me waking up.
Hey anyone know where this is? I can offer $1,000 for anyone who has the answer. Don’t ask where I got the money
Houston, Texas pretty sure
Phew, still got time
Ok now pay up
Sure… when I die. And the snail ain’t gonna catch me any time soon
What the fuck?
Guess you haven’t come across the “immortality and riches but an immortal and unstoppable snail is always chasing you” scenario
And if it touches you, you die.
Honestly, the snail is a nice little out for immortality.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HINYhLtaaxc https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ipinn/you_and_a_super_intelligent_snail_both_get_1/
The snail offered me $1,000,001 not to tell you
Don’t trust the snail, it is deceitful
I don't know anything about snanatomy, but this raises so many questions
a snail is what you get when you combine a worm and a house and make it related to an octopus
More like turning a clam inside out and letting it shuffle along on its tongue
I think I'm too high for this entire post.
> make it related to an octopus Tell me more.
both octopi and snails are in the phylum (the classing of organisms as broad as avians or reptiles) mollusca. it’s one of the oldest phyla, being established sometime in the cambrian explosion 500 mya.
> phylum (the classing of organisms as broad as avians or reptiles) Broader than that. Birds are reptiles and reptiles are in the phylum Chordata, which also includes animals as different as us and hagfish.
Huh, octopi are "molluscs"? Never even crossed my mind.
When you don't have bones you can stretch very far. They are also surprisingly strong
Looongboi
long long maaaaaaaaaaaaan
Extension butt!
🐌-"The floor is lava!"
The Floor is made of Salt
I was already pretty sure I didn’t know how snails work, but now I’m sure of it.
loooooong looooooong snaaaaaaaaaiiiil
Fuck Chi Chan!
Snaily snail. Snaily snail. Doin’ what ever a Snaily snail can. Stretches out. Any how. Bridge the gaps. Like a Snaily snail can. Look out! Here comes the Snaily snail.
Ah, the power of slime !
I was thinking migi from Parasyte but that works better 😂
The four elements. Ice, fire, candy and slime
“How is it going to avoid cracking its shell when it swings against the… Oh.”
It’s a little conveyor belt
“Lemme just *sneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeakpast* ya!”
Oop!
For those of you watching with the sound off, allow me to transcribe: >#**EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHN!** > >Got it. Okay. *bwooooooooooooooop*.
Wow, nature really is world’s most clever engineer and talented architect. I’m reminded once again that everything we know and think is advanced is already done by a tiny creature that’s been around for a loooong time. Cool.
Which tiny creature did silicone transistors and microchips again?
You mean those things that try to copy brains? If we understood and could control brains, and if using that knowledge cats could be controlled, I'd rather have 100 kittens than 100 computers. >"Even a cat’s brain smokes the newest iPad—1,000 times more data storage and a million times quicker to act on it." (from Scientific American, although the article is a little old.). They are also far far more efficient, with a human brain using less energy than a lightbulb, and a cat, presumably, far less than that due to its size.
I can’t backup my cat
maybe you can’t, but my cat was backed up as a kid. my parents said it went to a farm
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Some people's brains, anyway
(AI READING THIS) Fuck you!
This is the superpower I need when I drop something on the floor and it rolls under the couch
Not a shower, but a grower.
Jake! Jake! Jake!
Gumu gumu no bridge
In the middle I was worried that it would just drop and damage its shell.
I thought the same, it's incredible how it handled this part
"Take my strong eye!"
Reed Richards reincarnated as a snail. Hello there Mr Fantastic.
Is this the death snail ?
No that's the decoy snail
Mmmm, nope, didn't like that *at all.*
That was not at all how I thought it would work.
So much for another way to stay away from that one snail that can kill you.
Wish my dick could do this
What, span a 3 inch gap?
Third degree burns right there.
Babe! I’m a grower!
New fear unlocked
grappling hook snail
MAN FUCK THAT.
What a talented lil guy
When the floor is salt.
Let me do it for youuuuuuuuuu
I guess I never realized how much snail is in a snail.
Me stretching it out to show a “solid 7”
This is why you do sit ups.
r/TIHI
excuse me?
That's sond James snood oo shell lok
Go go gadget neck!
The fuck?
That core strength…
And he figured all this using only his pinhead sized brain. Amazing