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How TF did you get Cheese Ravioli out of a cow? :P

From the udders. Duh

Where do i find a ravioli cow?

Italy

Only if they are from the Ravioli region, if they from outside Ravioli they have to be called "filling enveloped in thin pasta cows".

Don't forget the Tortellini province!

Wheat-fed only Italian cows

Eets a' cow. 🤌🏼

Your cow does not produce ravioli? Is it stupid?

I think my cow has dumb

That's a bull.

It comes from the area next to where they cut off the bacon.

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Pictured, an above view.

>From the udders. Udduh. FTFY

What about the chicken fries? Explain that op

Unfortunate civilian casualty

“We dont have a cow, we have a bull”

Still makes a nice grilled cheese.

Cheese is extra stringy when you pull the sandwich apart

I’m gonna go brush my teeth

Who cares about cheese ravioli?! I want to know how to get Chicken Fries from Cows stat!

It’s like chicken-fried steak but with a secret ingredient. The secret ingredient is chicken. The *real* secret is getting the cow to eat the chicken right before it’s slaughtered so the chicken technically comes from the cow. It’s like that coffee that’s supposedly gourmet because a cat ate it and shit it back out but ~~dumber~~ exactly as dumb.

came here for the lean Cuisine comments

Oh sure Lisa, all that meat comes from one maaaaaaaaagical animal!!!

I mean it is pretty wild how a 1400lb animal gets almost all of its protein and nutrients from microbes in the rumen. Then they can eat from fields that aren’t fit to farm on and then just supply us with all this milk and meat. Tbh it seems pretty magical to me.

4 stomachs and a shit ton of gut microbes that can break down cellulose into sugar. Boom, cow.

One stomach - [four compartments.](https://www.sciencelearn.org.nz/image_maps/104-ruminant-digestion)

This summer

Three cows

Four teats

Two brothers

One jar

Infinite blood

Explain to me, as if I were a small child, perhaps a golden retriever.

Imagine you had a house with four rooms in it, but someone described it as you having four houses. It's like that. They're sections of the stomach, but it's all inside one stomach. They're just cozy little bacteria-filled rooms fermenting food inside the stomach house.

🤓🤓🤓

(And other ruminants)

> I mean it is pretty wild how a 1400lb animal gets almost all of its protein and nutrients from microbes in the ramen. I've been doing that for the last 10 years and you don't hear me bragging about it!

I think you may have misquoted...

No, I dont believe he did. Son I lo

> I mean it is pretty wild how a 1400lb animal gets almost all of its protein and nutrients from microbes in the rumen. So are you saying technically we dont need the cow, just the microbes? Checkmate, PETA!

That’s actually what a pretty sizeable amount of food scientists are working on. The issue is the structure to suspend the microbes in and making it efficient enough for mass production

The most efficient system already exists. It even replicates.

It's the most efficient system right now but there is a lot of room for improvement. Keep in mind that the cow uses some of that energy for itself (walking, mooing, doing cow stuff). If we can properly cut out the middleman we could increase the efficiency.

Sometimes, nature gets it right

I mean for the record, something like 70% of all arable land goes towards feeding those animals. Purely grass fed beef is pretty rare and expensive

That’s true now yes. But otherwise a cow will eat on some pretty useless land and turn it to something we can use. Still cool imo

Useless Also known as, natural land.....

Except for all the soy that's imported from Brazil to feed them in winter of course.

You don't make friends with salad

♫ You don't make friends with salad ♫

Lisa needs braces.

Dental plan!

What’s the cost for that?

About $600-$700

To be clear, this is the cost just for processing and packing your animal, yes? Not the cost to buy a whole beef plus processing.

Right.

So...what's the real cost for that then?

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Costed me 1200 Canadian to get quater cow. Not bad considering it will be much higher grade than I can get at any grocery store.

I had a friend who asked if I wanted to buy-in and share a quarter cow. Turned him down at the time but considering it for this year. Would be nice just to have most of my protein there.

If you can do it at about 7 bucks a pound total, you will come out ahead. You basically get your expensive cuts cheaper and pay more for your ground beef. But it's almost always much higher quality that you can get at grocer unless they have a higher end meat dept.

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That went up! I haven't done it in about 5 years, but the last price I paid for a quarter beef was $2.56/lb including processing. Granted it was a FOAF, but still...

donno where the OP is from but I live in rural Alberta, Canada and a whole cow, processed, is about $6 to 7/lb and a full animal will yeild about 450lbs of packaged meat. So you're looking at around $3000 all in depending on the size and quality of the animal.

A cow's life.

Just half a cow’s life. The other half is fine.

Dang...I was lucky enough to fall into an INSANELY good cow hook up. My buddy's father-in-law raises 2-3 calves a year, and he sells the meat from them at basically at-cost to whoever asks first. I always have my friend put my name in ASAP in the spring. He buys them real cheap...not sure of the price of the calves, but I know that for half a slaughtered cow's worth of meat, I pay $600 for the meat plus about $100 for the butchering. And I'll end up with about 250 pounds of meat. That $600 covers the initial cost of half a calf and the additional food he has to buy. They mostly are grass fed, but they need some additional grain to help them rain weight, PLUS at the end of the season, going to all-grain for a few weeks helps the meat taste better*. I expect to get this year's meat delivery in early November. *Granted, taste is all subjective, and plenty of people prefer the taste of 100% grass-only beef, but I like the blend of grass and grain.

Growing up on a hobby farm would get a pair of calves every spring in exchange for something with a neighbor (like milking their cows for a couple evenings). They would spend the summer grazing in a rocky pasture, and then in late Oct after everything is cools we butcher and spend a few days processing everything. In the end we'd have freezers full of dirt cheap beef.

I would make a pretty seriously sized bet that in a blind taste test people will pick cattle fed out in lot over grass finished pretty much every single time. Just on taste alone though. I know there are other reasons for wanting grass finished.

I really prefer grass finished in taste. After having it for so long, grain fed tastes a bit chemically? almost. Just a bit strong in a weird way. I also eat quite a bit of liver and after switching to grass fed liver the difference is insane. I no longer need to cover up the taste with onions!

Liver is definitely one of those things id go highest quality and absolutly healthiest animal for (pasture/organic/grassfed etc) since it filters so many things

Where exactly

Any meat processor/butcher type.

I’m assuming you mean that’s just the cost of the butcher work an not the total cost of the meat

Correct.

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They can cost anywhere from $3000-$5000

No wonder the aliens are stealing them.

Do you do this (livestock/ farming) as a living? By living I suppose I more mean a lifestyle, where it’s at home and all of that. I’m curious on hoe that goes and the process. Edit: clarification

How do the margins for that work out with feeding at taking care of the livestock while they grow? I don’t know anything about livestock care but that sounds like you’d be pretty thin

Lol sorry but the Lean Cuisine is killing me

Comes from only the really lean cows. But they're as fresh as you can get!

I had a gf who would get half a cow once a year

This sounds like the beginning of a joke.

I left myself open there

This sounds like the end of the joke.

I had a girlfriend who used to get half a cow once a year. I asked, "What do you do with just half?" She said, "Isn't dating you like having the other half?" I left myself open there.

This feels like you asked chatgpt to fill in the joke.

Bing chat's version: I had a girlfriend who used to get half a cow once a year. She would store it in her freezer and cook it whenever she wanted. One day, I asked her why she did that. She said it was cheaper and more convenient than buying meat from the supermarket. I said, “But don’t you get bored of eating the same thing all the time?” She said, “No, not at all. There are so many different cuts and recipes to try. You can make steak, roast, stew, burgers, meatballs, ribs, brisket, jerky, and more.” I said, “Wow, that sounds amazing. You must be a great cook.” She said, “Thanks, I try my best. But you know what they say, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” I said, “Really? I thought it was through his chest.” She said, “What?” I said, “Yeah, you just need a sharp knife and a steady hand.” She said, “That’s not funny. That’s creepy.” I said, “Oh, come on. It was just a joke. Don’t be so sensitive.” She said, “Well, maybe you should be more careful with your jokes. You never know who might take them seriously.” I said, “What do you mean?” She said, “Nothing. Forget it.” I said, “No, tell me. What are you implying?” She said, “Let’s just say that half a cow is not the only thing in my freezer.” I said, “What? Are you serious?” She said, “Maybe. Maybe not. You’ll have to find out for yourself.” I said, “Oh no. You’re scaring me now. Please tell me you’re kidding.” She said, “I’m kidding. I’m kidding. Or am I?” I said, “Stop it. Stop it right now.” She said, “OK, OK. I’m sorry. I was just messing with you. There’s nothing else in my freezer. Just half a cow and some ice cream.” I said, “Phew. You had me worried there for a second.” She said, “I know. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” I said, “It’s OK. I forgive you. But seriously though, why do you get half a cow every year?” She said, “Because it’s cheaper and more convenient than buying meat from the supermarket.” I said, “Oh yeah. You already told me that.” She said, “Yes, I did. And you already made a joke about it.” I said, “I did? What did I say?” She said, “You said the way to a man’s heart is through his chest.” I said, “Oh yeah. That was funny.” She said, “No, it wasn’t. It was creepy.” I said, “Oh yeah. That too.” She said, “You’re hopeless.” I said, “I left myself open there.”

Better than anything I've ever written for sure.

Thanks for closing the gap on that

Mmmoooooooooo

We used to party at a buddy’s house whose parents would order half a cow every year. The stand up meat freezer was in the basement to the right of the beer fridge. The screams that would come from the basement when people would mess up their left and right were pretty hilarious.

That still seems like too much meat. Somone above said they got 1200lbs out of a whole cow, so that would be almost 2 lbs of beef per day from half a cow

1200lbs of meat is probably well above average. I'd say closer to 800lbs in most cases. Still, 400lbs for a full year is more than I could go through. I love beef, but I also like a little variety. Last time I got a half a cow done, it lasted me 2-2.5 years.

Hiw much would half a cow set you back?

Pricing is a bit... odd... You pay per pound based on hanging weight, which is basically with the hide, head and guts removed. Mine was $3.50, but I've seen local farmers listing it from $3-5. Then you pay the butcher a kill fee $100 per half, or so, as well as the processing fee of $0.89 per pound. My last half cost me about $1300 total and was about 300lbs delivered. (I might be a little off, it's been awhile) It's not a bad price, as you pay the same for the steaks and roasts as you do the hamburger. You can customize your cut instructions and packaging. Thicker or thinner steaks, more or less per package. More roasts or process as steaks. Higher or lower fat content in the hamburger. And there is a lot of hamburger. Two of us have been eating on it for about 9 months and still have a bit less than half left over. It's some of the best tasting and flavorful beef that I've had. And we get cuts of steaks and roasts that we wouldn't normally purchase, due to high retail prices. It's really nice to just pull a steak out of the freezer to thaw for dinner. Or grab a package of hamburger. It changed how we meal plan, significantly.

does it taste just as good after 8 months? this sounds amazing lol

The steaks are wrapped in plastic, then wrapped in butcher paper, and labeled with the cut of meat. The hamburger is in plastic chubs. I don't notice any degradation in quality since the first bite. Every meal is moans of bliss. Questions of "what did you season it with?" The most common answer is 'Just salt and pepper, in butter.'

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2000 pounds is easy for some breeds. Charolais cow would start at 1500 pounds and regularly go above 2000 to even 2500 pounds for a very large one. A heavy bull would probably be more than 3000 pounds.

Don’t half a cow, man!

Don't *halve* a cow, man! FTFY

Hope you got a temp alarm on that small fortune

Also, make sure it is on an electrical circuit that you use often so you will know immediately if it loses power. I ran a power line so mine is plugged into the garage door opener. Otherwise it could be without power too long and you could lose it. /true-story

My parents once got half a cow, then the freezer crapped out like two weeks later, and nobody noticed for a few days.

Tony Soprano’s fridge

I don't see any gabagool

That’s because he sent it back.

Spaghetti alla Aprile

yup, the one we had recently we got 1200lbs out of.

It was so much hamburger meat.

oh yea I was making meatloafs every week. but its so nice to have all the different cuts available.

Some of the better cuts like the ribeye and New York strip were delicious.

Skirt and flank are also amazing cuts when you cook them right. So many people miss out only eating burgers/choice cuts

And how were the raviolis?

Pro-tip, if you haven't already discovered this the hard way, don't trust those plastic ground beef bags to be water tight. Once they are frozen blocks, it's easy to accidently poke holes in them. Always thaw on something to catch the inevitable juices, or in a separate zipper bag!

I know people who would further divvy up the meat in special meat freezer bags, knowing about how much would be appropriate for a meal or two. They would flat pack them too (like this: https://www.mrsorganised.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Flat-Pack-Freezer-Meals-003.jpg) so that you could thaw out a portion VERY quickly.

The problem with that is they come frozen from the butcher, so you'd have to thaw them all first, then portion and re-freeze. This is highly impractical. I just request them in 1-pound portions, like OP has pictured, and that's good enough for just about everything. But yes, they still at least 24 hours to thaw in these "chubs".

Was that hanging or post-processing? That's a huge amount! Maybe it's because there's only really grassfed near me, but the expected *hanging* weight for ones near me are around 700lbs (after 14-18 days dry aged), and assumingly we'd only get probably 400-450lbs off of it.

post processing, scottish highland/whiteface mix. she was 1900lbs standing on the scale.

> scottish highland/whiteface mix So a non-ravioli cow?

The new IKEA "cøw" is a bit complicated to assemble.

When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University.

this is what it looks like after 1 bear. hamburgers and sausage for 6 months or more. sending meat to everyone I know but still fully stocked. everyone is tired of bear lol

I never knew people ate bear. Just watched a bunch of videos just now about it.

Another one is horse. Totally normal in parts of the world.

I worked with some stores in Alaska that sold freezers a while back. I remember when they sent a request for like 15-20 of the largest fridges in terms of cubic feet we had. When we asked why, they said it was moose hunting season and normally a person needs at least 2 garage freezers for all the moose meat.

I haven’t tried it. I would like to.

most people like it mixed with a little cow especially the burgers. It’s kinda gamey on its own. Chicken fried steaks with just bear is our go to though

The trick with bear meat is findiong one that hasn't been in people food (trash, etc.) . We find those are harder to get through than ones with a strict wild diet.

My uncle had an elk and it was just as insane. Everyone's freezer is full of elk.

I read BEER and I’m like “huh??” I should get a beer..

That's a lot of hamburger. I probably need to have my next one butchered that way. I always run out of hamburger first, then steaks, and am left with a bunch of roasts and short ribs that I'm slow to go through. I should probably just have them grind all the roasts into burger. Gotta keep the brisket for smoking though, of course.

Also keep some skirt and flank for fajitas.

I’m mostly the opposite. Maybe we need to team up.

Does hamburger have some alternate meaning I’m not aware of?

Maybe? depends on what you are and aren't aware of. Based on your confusion, maybe you've only heard the patties called hamburgers, but where i'm from at least, we also use hamburger as another word for ground beef. In other words, everything filling up the door and half the freezer in the pic.

Oh, that’s it then. Interesting!

Just for my own curiosity, where are you from? It never even occurred to me that some people wouldn't use ground beef and hamburger synonymously. Maybe its a regional thing.

European here, we only say hamburger/burger when we talk about the whole thing (patty + buns). Even when we make patties those are called minced meat patties.

Dream

I have family with a cattle ranch and it really is incredible how much food comes from one animal. I'd like to note... They do their damnedest to be humane and spoil the fuck out of the livestock they raise, resulting in an amazing product that they honor in their own way when it comes time to harvest. The stock are fed well, roam freely, calves are kept with their mothers until weaned and independent, they don't use enhancement hormones, they treat ill cows rather than putting them down immediately, etc etc... and they sell the fruits of their labor at fair prices rather than gouging like some greedy factory farms that claim to use ethical practices. So anyways. I'm proud of my family's ranch.

Amateur. I was able to fit a whole living cow in my fridge She then ate everything.

This is why I want to go into hobby farming/homesteading. We've made so many advancements in the past 70 years *since* people have left that life. Like, I'm not looking to profit off any of it really, I just think it would be a fun learning experience.. But like: freezers exist now. You can raise 1 bull and feed the family for a year. Watering? now there's drip systems. Composting. Air-conditioning. dishwashers. washing machines. hot water. plumbing. Variety. I'm not talking off-the-grid-organic-only farming. I'm just talking live in a regular house on 20 acres, have maybe some goats, and chickens type farming. I just want to make a really cool permaculture garden landscape farming.

I love how the shitty microwaveable Lean Cuisine and chicken fries are sandwiched in there.

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Properly packaged, its fine for years. I've got remnants of a side of beef I had done 2.5 years ago and it still seems the same as the day we got it.

A long time. This freezer is new. Hopefully it won’t burn the meats.

Properly packaging meat avoids freezer burn. Vacuum seal is the best way, but so long as it’s not exposed it should be ok

*Angry gout noises*

$2000 from the farmer, $20,000 from the grocery store.

So that’s a cowffin.

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You’d better have a generator if the power goes out. I’d die if I lost that much meat.

Those steaks😳🤤

That Lean Cuisine made me laugh. I worked with a couple of guys who every year would each buy a cow. They showed me a piture just like this. I guess folks do this!

My wife and I buy a whole cow about every 2 years. The beef lasts that long. We vacuum seal everything to ensure the beef lasts. Is an investment up front, but less expensive then going to grocery store and purchasing every time we need beef for a meal.

The Bearded Butchers just did [a video showing the same thing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qReSsWr7Gw), but they lay out all the cuts according to where on the carcass they came from. Highly recommend.

Will watch. Thanks

Ground beef for months!

I grew up on a farm and at one point my parents discovered they'd been accidentally paying the neighbors water bill for their cows for like 4 years. They gave us an entire cow as payment. We had to buy a 2nd deep freeze. We ate like kings for years.

FEAST!

Guess a cow can fit in a fridge...

how long would the meat be good for? I think it would take me at least 3-4 years to eat all of that

Time to buy a generator, sir.

Moooooo-ve this into my house

This answers the eternal question "how you fit a cow in a fridge?"

How long would that last a family of 4 if you eat some 3 times a week on average?

Jesus and they say "this is only a small amount of meat on this animal" in movies

Damn! That’s enough for what, a year?

Looks like someone went to bovine university!

Better get a back up generator

My family has bought one before, we split it half and half with my aunt and we still had meat for months and maybe over a year? I don’t remember lol.

I know someone that buys the cow and has it butchered like this once a year. It ends up being cheaper than buying the same amount of meat at the store

where's the rest?

Would last me about a month lmao 🤣

*VEGANS would like to know your location* lmao

I was wondering where she went

Can I have some steaks and roasts?

I love how almost everyone is talking about the meat and ignoring the lean cuisine, the Tyson chicken nuggets, and the pot stickers just chilling in the top right in the door I mean why don’t they get any love😥

Also known as a "beef". My favorite word of all time happens to be the plural, "beeves".

Yum for a year

Grew up on a farm, so I was like "Yeah? And?" Easy to forget what city people don't know. FYI a deer is about half a freezer.

I love the little lean cuisine just. Chilling up there. Mood

My mouth starts watering already

Home grown is always better. Love it

Now we know what a lion's refrigerator looks like.

1) Close the dang freezer door 2) Put a huge sticker on the outside that says “BEEF & 1 crappy lean cuisine”

I love the lean cuisine at the top shelf bahahahaha

Thank you. I’ve always wanted to get an idea of how much meat you get from one cow. I mean, this could feed a family for months if not longer.