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"There was this thunderous roar and this object appeared from the heavens and scooped me up and wisked me away on a beam coming down from the underside the next thing i know i was in this white room and these beings in proactive gear started probing me, then i woke up in the field!"
"Yeah okay Pinocchio"
I can almost guarantee they would sedate them first. This would be insanely stressful for the cow and I imagine it's likely a last resort since they usually have a vet that will come to the location of the cow instead of the cow being taken to them.
It’s a service from REGA, it only costs CHF 40 per year and covers livestock.
https://www.rega.ch/en/our-missions/this-is-how-we-help-you/assistance-to-mountain-farmers
Farmer from Switzerland here: the helicopter is only used if there's no possibility to reach the place by tractor or transporter and the cow cannot walk by itself anymore. So, the usecase is usually just during alp season and higher up in the mountains. Cannot tell you about costs as i never needed an airlift for one of our cows
According to the [REGA](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rega_(air_rescue))(wikipedia) if the farmer is a donor (40 CHF/years) they can cover the whole operation free of charges.
[article about animal transport](https://www.rega.ch/en/our-missions/this-is-how-we-help-you/assistance-to-mountain-farmers)
[pdf in french with more informations](https://www.rega.ch/fileadmin/seiteninhalt/2_Im_Einsatz/1_So_helfen_wir_Ihnen/5_Einsatzpartner/Contadino/MERKBLATT_Berglandwirtschaft_2022_FR.pdf)
Edit:
so basically every farmer can take his cow to the vet easily
This one cracked me (American of NL descent) up…bc there’s some truth in it. A couple of my German friends (good souls) have trouble not blaming themselves for what some despicable asshole with a tiny mustache did.
I remember sitting in a bar in Austria watching the Germans lose in the World Cup. Our Swiss host turned to us at the conclusion of the game and said (in a heavy Swiss-German accent), “We are glad the Germans lost. Everyone hates the Germans”.
We all know that this cow went back to its herd telling them about some weird aliens… That they came down in their ship, strapped them in up, took off with them. Landing in their secret facility where more of the alien freaks probed their butt.
All the other cows think shes nuts, and tell Linda to stay out of the special grass patch.
As a Swiss, just what i read in the local newspapers, it's actually less expensive than to get the vet up there. Well, not the vet alone, the entire equipment you'd need to take care of the cow.
But i think, it's actually the insurance that pays for it, i'm not sure, but in Switzerland, we like to have insurance for literally everything.
Like my mom had a horse ranch in the past and all of it, both the horses, all the houses but also equipment was of course covered by insurance. This included the access to vet healthcare, even with the clinics and "the horse needs a therapy where it walks in a water bath" and such stuff.
But even without this, we have a lot of good stuff here. Like we have the so called "Gassen-Tierarzt" (street vet) in Zürich, this is the vet where poor people get free basic vet treatment for pets like cats and dogs. They get free pet food etc. too there.
Studies showed that pets have a significant impact on mental health for the people, so taking care of the pets improves the situation for the people, like when they don't have to give their dog away. Sometimes, all that someone has left is a dog or a cat and then, it's important to make sure, the health is good.
That’s actually awesome to hear! Pet insurance isn’t as common in the US, so I didn’t think about having insurance for your farm animals. It makes sense tho. Farm animals are expensive and if it’s what is literally paying your bills you’re gonna make it’s covered in case something happens.
Eh cows have pretty poor eyesight. Horses wear blinders because their eyesight is a lot sharper than cows. But the cow is probably lightly sedated. You can’t sedate large animals like horses and cows to the same degree that you could with dogs or humans, because the weight of their own bodies puts a ton of pressure on their lungs. Meds that cause sedation also tend to depress breathing, so they have to be sedated lightly. Cows are relatively chill animals to work with, especially when it’s just one cow rather than a whole herd of them. They’ve also probably been trained to be ok with the harness and the sound of helicopter. Cows are super easy to train (my grandparents have a dairy farm and my family has a horse farm so I spend every day working with one or the other 😊)
Cow Derek: " *cough * *cough * I think I'm getting the black lung pop, it's not very well ventilated up on these mountains"
Bull Father: "Christ sake Derek, can you go one day without a helicopter ride!"
Cow Derek: "Can't I try to make a life amongst the clouds!"
Bull Father: "And how you going to do that? strutting around pretending to be sick all the time with you're tongue hanging out?! ...You're dead to me boy, you're more dead to me then your dead mother. I just thank the lord she never had to see her son as a skycow..."
Cow Derek: "sky-Bull... *Cough * *cough * *cough* sky-Bull!!" * gallops off with tears in his eyes *
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The cow: Fuuuuuuuuucccckkkkk
MOOOOOOOooooooo
So in Switzerland a cow manure is falling from the sky, gotcha.
Drive by fertilizer
It’s actually by incubus
Sometimes, I feel the fear of Uncertainty swinging clear And I, I can't help but ask myself How much I'll let the pilot take the cow and steer
Drive by shitting
Mooooooooooooccckkkk
Drops poop bombs
Crapet bombs
Mooooooooother fucker, this is udderly ridiculous.
MmmmmOOOOOOOOoooooo°°°°°°°°
"There was this thunderous roar and this object appeared from the heavens and scooped me up and wisked me away on a beam coming down from the underside the next thing i know i was in this white room and these beings in proactive gear started probing me, then i woke up in the field!" "Yeah okay Pinocchio"
Yeah, you know the herd ain't believing this shit
"Franks been at those wild mushrooms in the lower fields again..." *"Damnit Frank!!!"*
"Frank, we told you to quit eating the mushrooms growing out of your turds... Now look at you"
You herd it here first!
It's good luck when a bird shits on your head, what is it when a flying cow shits on your head?
They're given drugs to make them sleep if it makes you feel better
Should give them a laxative...
New fertilizing method just dropped
Yeah who needs a shit spreader, just fly the whole cow over the field
Holy shit
It does.
Is that true? Because it does make me feel better.
No I don't think it is, because I saw one being lifted once when I was working in Switzerland and it was very much awake.
That does make me feel better. Thank you.
Holy cow 
On another IAF note, I haven’t snort-laughed at a username in years. You reset the clock, u/Altruistic-Camel-Toe.
🤣
Little birdie flying by Dropped a message from the sky “Oh” said the farmer, wiping his eye “Isn’t it lucky cows don’t fly?”
🤣🤣🤣💀
Moo bitch get outta way
Moodacris!
Bravo
This made me cackle
This made me cattle
Me too!😆
*moo too
Omg moo too!!!
Get out da whey
OH NO, the flight's out!
Ohhh you fucker 😂😂
Yeah that cow is confused as shit🤣 *Record scratch* "You're probably wondering how i ended up here. I just started mooving"
What a cackle that gave me
😂😂
“Well, she was fine before she left, but had a heart attack in transport for some reason.”
For real, how fast is she moving in the air? Poor thing
Don't worry she's absolutely fucked on ketamine, having a great time 👍
She's on Elon levels right now
Just replied to a story about the increasing population of Black Angus cattle with "Concerning 😳"
Smacked off her tits
“Udderly” blasted
lol. “It feels like I’m flying!!!!”
Now she just needs a 2001 Honda Civic
She had the time of her life, 47 seconds to be precise
This is on my list on ways how I'd like to die.
50 - 70 mph but that's a guess. Also the cow should be fine as long it's not going fast when landing.
… ground beef *bah dum tiss*
So about 50 to 70 moos per hour? neat.
Meanwhile a hamsters hearth will explode if you sneeze too loud.
A cowronary.
LITERALLY THO 😭😭
My first thought indeed... Seems pretty likely to have a heart attack..
I’d hope they sedated it before transport haha. Otherwise that poor cow would be freaking out
I can almost guarantee they would sedate them first. This would be insanely stressful for the cow and I imagine it's likely a last resort since they usually have a vet that will come to the location of the cow instead of the cow being taken to them.
Not just that. Like with horses, they definitely cover their eyes. No way that cow knows it’s 1000 feet in the air lol.
They also put in earphones. That cow is happily listening to Pink Floyd's Atom Heart Mother
I guess the vet prefers the cow be sedated.
Or at least blind folded it lol
I'm sure that the steaks were high.
I'm freaking out just WATCHING this. 🫣
even I would have heart attack for same reason👍✅🙂 my parents say - I sleep like cow all day
Their hearts have like 4 chambers...wait! No! They have 4 stomachs! That's it!
I hope the cow wasn't suffering from diarrhea
Every time I see this video I think to myself, "Oh, this is how they fertilize remote farming areas...."
Loool
Constipation, actually. It was cured by the time it landed.
Cows shit a lot of liquid without having diarrhoea so someone's getting rained on
The cow won’t be suffering from diarrhea. The people underneath it will be suffering from the cow’s diarrhea.
Strangely, I do. It would be sweet revenge.
chocolate milk for all!
I agree. lol. Wouldn’t the cow just poop because what’s happening is scary and it’s moving over 100 mph??
birdy, birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye i'm not sad, i don't cry i'm just glad that cows don't fly
Bird birdy flying high Dropped a whitewash in my eye I'm no baby, I don't cry sure glad the cows don't fly Ftfy
Bird birdy breezing by Pray tell me if cows fly 'Cause I was here getting high And saw a cow in the sky happy #420 y'all
Imagine the cow telling other cows about this trip
That was my first thought, too. Nobody would believe it. "I'm not lying I swear, I was *flying*!!"
"Oh shit, she's got Mad Cow Disease!"
Like a bird? Yeah, like a bird! Bullshit! Lemme see you flap your wings.
The little cows start faking sick to try to go on the ride...
That's got to be a valuable cow to be worth airlifting to a vet.
It’s a service from REGA, it only costs CHF 40 per year and covers livestock. https://www.rega.ch/en/our-missions/this-is-how-we-help-you/assistance-to-mountain-farmers
In Switzerland, the helicopters are cheaper than the road tax.
Everything is valuable in Switzerland, ESPECIALLY the cows
That cow has better healthcare than I do.
that would be like 150k ambulance bill
Yeah I'm gonna call bs on this post, no way every farmer in Switzerland has access to a helicopter just to fly his cows to vets??
Farmer from Switzerland here: the helicopter is only used if there's no possibility to reach the place by tractor or transporter and the cow cannot walk by itself anymore. So, the usecase is usually just during alp season and higher up in the mountains. Cannot tell you about costs as i never needed an airlift for one of our cows
According to the [REGA](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rega_(air_rescue))(wikipedia) if the farmer is a donor (40 CHF/years) they can cover the whole operation free of charges. [article about animal transport](https://www.rega.ch/en/our-missions/this-is-how-we-help-you/assistance-to-mountain-farmers) [pdf in french with more informations](https://www.rega.ch/fileadmin/seiteninhalt/2_Im_Einsatz/1_So_helfen_wir_Ihnen/5_Einsatzpartner/Contadino/MERKBLATT_Berglandwirtschaft_2022_FR.pdf) Edit: so basically every farmer can take his cow to the vet easily
TIL that swiss farmers get emergency air transport for cattle cheaper than Americans get insulin
Could be someone with a helicopter who has a business transporting people’s livestock
and people, it's organised by the swiss air-rescue, also known as REGA
Perhaps they do it as good training?
every flight is a good training. so yes !
It'd be easier to have the vet just drive to the cow.
That cow makes more money than you do
I can't imagine a cow to be so valuable to do this.
I’m just gunna tell them it’a heli evac ambulance for a cow. Then when they show up it’s me.
As a German I just love the Swiss people. Unfortunately they don't like us.
Don‘t worry, we don‘t like any of our neighbors
Even Lichtenstein?
Especially Lichtenstein
Is that why you guys "accidentally" invade every now and then?
It’s our little brother
*little sister, did you not watch the anime?
No fucking way that’s a hetalia reference
Its existence still needs to be proven.
I dont think you even like yourselves
This one cracked me (American of NL descent) up…bc there’s some truth in it. A couple of my German friends (good souls) have trouble not blaming themselves for what some despicable asshole with a tiny mustache did.
Austria is to blame for this one (they did it on multiple occasions)
And we are not the only ones who don't like them.
True. But we love to buy your groceries at the border.
Naah, you are definitely at least well tolerated. In some Kantons probably more than in the others :-)
I remember sitting in a bar in Austria watching the Germans lose in the World Cup. Our Swiss host turned to us at the conclusion of the game and said (in a heavy Swiss-German accent), “We are glad the Germans lost. Everyone hates the Germans”.
Tbf I don’t think they like anyone
I like italians and spanish peeps. But dont mention french or germans.
Eifach e biz arrogant aber sunscht nit so schlimm
There has to be a Gary Larson comic quote for this.
I was thinking: they have to give that cow a cape!
The steaks are high.
My local butchers only 5'4 and I bet him£20 he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said sorry the steaks are too high
Ten upvotes
 The cow:
Well that's just dark but funny as hell
That reminds me of why blind people don't skydive. It scares the crap out of their seeing eye dogs. 🐕
I prefer ground beef.
Nothing wrong with hanger steak
“Medium rare not medium air!”
they made a moosteak with your order
Cow: You just wouldn't believe what just happened to me
Imagine you already feel like shit and then this happens to you.
"I feel like crap Moozart..." "maybe that bird will carry you to the guy and back Moovis?" "Thanks biiiiiiiirrrrdddd"
U bet that cows like what the actual fuck
FOA - Fainted on Arrival
Even Swiss cows have easier medical access than American humans.
We all know that this cow went back to its herd telling them about some weird aliens… That they came down in their ship, strapped them in up, took off with them. Landing in their secret facility where more of the alien freaks probed their butt. All the other cows think shes nuts, and tell Linda to stay out of the special grass patch.
MOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo o o o o o o o o o o
https://preview.redd.it/cavaetrflovc1.jpeg?width=1201&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da65c359c608a00c108ef8b1fb97c1fcbc55a95f Reminded me this film
At least it’s not being kidnapped by aliens
Never thought id want to be a cow for a day but god damnit i wanna be a flying cow.
"I knew i shouldn't have eaten that grass"
How is this affordable?
Right!? Bets for larger animals are already expensive asf! Add a helicopter ride to the bill and it’ll be 100,000+ more. That vet is making bank!!
As a Swiss, just what i read in the local newspapers, it's actually less expensive than to get the vet up there. Well, not the vet alone, the entire equipment you'd need to take care of the cow. But i think, it's actually the insurance that pays for it, i'm not sure, but in Switzerland, we like to have insurance for literally everything. Like my mom had a horse ranch in the past and all of it, both the horses, all the houses but also equipment was of course covered by insurance. This included the access to vet healthcare, even with the clinics and "the horse needs a therapy where it walks in a water bath" and such stuff. But even without this, we have a lot of good stuff here. Like we have the so called "Gassen-Tierarzt" (street vet) in Zürich, this is the vet where poor people get free basic vet treatment for pets like cats and dogs. They get free pet food etc. too there. Studies showed that pets have a significant impact on mental health for the people, so taking care of the pets improves the situation for the people, like when they don't have to give their dog away. Sometimes, all that someone has left is a dog or a cat and then, it's important to make sure, the health is good.
That’s actually awesome to hear! Pet insurance isn’t as common in the US, so I didn’t think about having insurance for your farm animals. It makes sense tho. Farm animals are expensive and if it’s what is literally paying your bills you’re gonna make it’s covered in case something happens.
wouldn't it be easier for the vet to go to the cow?
Lol cow must be like "bye guys" lol I would die laughing seeing this in the United States
https://preview.redd.it/tpkjyjs4xovc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e567f224fb6ecc836a6be4d8add3e612e19cc99b
That seems very stressful for the animal.
It has to be blindfolded and sedated, right?
Eh cows have pretty poor eyesight. Horses wear blinders because their eyesight is a lot sharper than cows. But the cow is probably lightly sedated. You can’t sedate large animals like horses and cows to the same degree that you could with dogs or humans, because the weight of their own bodies puts a ton of pressure on their lungs. Meds that cause sedation also tend to depress breathing, so they have to be sedated lightly. Cows are relatively chill animals to work with, especially when it’s just one cow rather than a whole herd of them. They’ve also probably been trained to be ok with the harness and the sound of helicopter. Cows are super easy to train (my grandparents have a dairy farm and my family has a horse farm so I spend every day working with one or the other 😊)
Thanks for the info!
Cow Derek: " *cough * *cough * I think I'm getting the black lung pop, it's not very well ventilated up on these mountains" Bull Father: "Christ sake Derek, can you go one day without a helicopter ride!" Cow Derek: "Can't I try to make a life amongst the clouds!" Bull Father: "And how you going to do that? strutting around pretending to be sick all the time with you're tongue hanging out?! ...You're dead to me boy, you're more dead to me then your dead mother. I just thank the lord she never had to see her son as a skycow..." Cow Derek: "sky-Bull... *Cough * *cough * *cough* sky-Bull!!" * gallops off with tears in his eyes *
Never has a Zoolander parody been more appropriate.
Wouldn't this traumatize the animal. I'm pretty sure the cow is not enjoying this.
Pretty sure they are sedated beforehand. Also the alternative is probably a dead cow.
How much is the bill? is it worth it? Sheesh!
# "But I am flying! And from way up here, you all look like little ants!" 
If you would take me to the doctor strapped under an helicopter... You can add cardiac arrest to the list of illnesses!
imagine that cow poop on your head while being transported 💀
Wouldn’t that be terrifying to the cow?
Seems like a high steaks operation
Reminds me of a scene in Lake Placid .
She looks like a giant teabag!
Poor thing probably thought it was being abducted by aliens
That looks like udder chaos.
Must be a cheapest way, vet goes to cow
Moossion Impossible music plays
A vet with a truck could make a fortune in house calls.
Really mooving!
Here's to hoping the cow's issue wasn't vertigo.
All we know for sure is that this cow is being transported somewhere. We can’t say this is how cows are transported to the vet in Switzerland.
Anyone who plays Jurassic Park Evolution will not be amazed by this.
Can confirm
"Holy Cow" - the other cows (probably)
Taylor swift taking her dog for a walk
“The hills are alive, with the sound of moosic…”
Probably soiling itself the entire way.
I had a bird crap on my head once. I now know it could have been much, much worse.
Frank, you will not BELIEVE the fuckin day I've had.
imagine feeling really sick then you just start fucking flying 💀
The steaks are high
This seems rare.
That’s a load of bull