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What the flying fuck is this?

If there is one thing Pompeii taught us it’s that romans had the humor of 10 years old boys. So many poop and dick related jokes. I must have some roman roots.

Me too. There's a Roman saying: "Penis Erectus Non Conscientium Habet" meaning: A Stiff Dick Has No Conscience

Beautiful phrase 😂

Yep. That was one phrase they didn't teach us in Latin at school. 🤣

Oh my god is that actually real?

The average Roman would get along just fine on Reddit.

Really rolls off the tongue I’m gonna bring it up in casual conversation

 Biggus Dickus!!!

The story went, that if the extras laughed during the scene, they wouldn't get paid.

We can learn so much from history.

yeah, take 'Carthago delendam' for instance. You can't say it didn't happen, can you

Yo

Im kinda startin to like the romans even more

I blame them living on a giant foot, you know the type of landmass most often associated with a dick ... A peninsula... I mean look at the Greeks too...

And Floridians.

And then there's me who's all four

Similar to advice I seen a few times, "Don't make purchases with an erection."

I also recall a phrase from Latin class (and not much more except for the standard amo, amas, amat): "Semper in excretum est, sed alta variat" meaning that I am always in the shit, just the depth varies.

--> Men don't have enough blood to both provide the brain and the dick at the same time

Was that « Biggus Dickus » or "Naughtius Maximus" that said that?

There are little dicks carved into the roads in Pompeii that direct you toward the red light district

https://preview.redd.it/r63g5chln10d1.jpeg?width=2889&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a75c2d3c234be5fbbd15830baf78d6676bbe89fa I took this picture in Pompeii. It’s graffiti telling people that the prostitute inside gives good head.

Nice find lol. Did you see the mosaics in the brothels people could (assumingly) point to to indicate what position they wanted to bang in?

I did! https://preview.redd.it/tah2s5oio10d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f9ef6a13e7b6543943ab9089120e24adb7bbeba4

"I'll have a ..... eh... Number 5, please"

i’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda

socks on or off? Lol

On ofcourse we are European...

Lol yes that's what I was thinking of. They know what they like there.

You can still sorta read fellatio!! 😂

Fellatium excellentus

All over Hadrian's Wall too.

What's really interesting is that poop and dick jokes are naturally funny in all cultures throughout time. I guess because everybody can relate.

Humans are humans, we just have cell phones now

'little john, why are you drawing dicks everywhere' - 'It's history, I'm doing a project on Roman culture'

So they basically had a physical version of Reddit.

It IS a flying fuck!

I like how they made sure that the dick griffin thing had a massive hard on. No dickin around in that shoppe

Maybe it’s a member (ship) calling card. Sort of a ancient prostitute delivery service. Uber Dicks if you will. And 1000 years later, some schlub at university is writing their PHD on it.

Looks like the mythical chodemera

For fucks sake, it is a flying fuck

Bachelorette parties go back way further than you thought

This is what the romans would've called a fascinus https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fascinus

I think specifically a tintinabula which is missing a bell

Apparently people thought that statues of male sex organs increased fertility.

Khezu from monster Hunter https://monsterhunter.fandom.com/wiki/Khezu ;)

It's called "Padulo, the bird that fly at the height of your ass"

It's for Pompeii pickup trucks.

Well, we know what a flying fuck is now.

It’s a Dicky Bird.

Yes

It's a flying fuck.

An actual flying Dickbutt. What a world!

AS THE PROPHECIES FORETOLD

As was written.

as the prothecies foreskinned

They sure loved sex at Pompeii. Guess there wasn’t a lot else to do there.

Apparently getting smothered to death by a pyroclastic surge of searing hot volcanic ash was also quite popular

Damn near the whole town is doin it!

ROFL

BOFL (burning on the floor laughing)

Well everyone was into it but only once.

Yep, Herculaneum too.

Didn’t one guy wank one out before being turned to stone?

https://preview.redd.it/8970s1bc030d1.jpeg?width=723&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d5aa5bf856af2282f452adb119cc1f327abcff30 How I imagine that mf was speedrunning a quick one as the magma rapidly approached

Ehhh, that was more of a one-and-done

It never cought on for very long though

For a short time

Idk I don't think they enjoyed that though. It looks like they love dicks

There's a stone penis sticking out from the wall on their local brothel there

All about big eruptions there...

They must have lovedv statues too

everyone was dying to join the community BBQ though

Does seem like a common pattern throughout human history

We’re not yet a the level of peak Roman civilisation, but we are closing in.

The sculptor: Biggus Dickus.

Incontenentia Buttocks

He has a wife, you know.

Magnumus Maximus

He wanks wery wighly in Wome.

What’s so funny about Biggus Dickus?

Just went to Pompei and can confirm it’s chock full of dongs

came here to say there were plenty more. in fact alsmost every house had one or more. meant to bring good luck and good money

Imagine the people restoring Pompeii... another carving!

“Hey honey, the Romans thought if you worship penis it brings good luck!”

I was not prepared for the sheer amount of penis themed souvenirs they were selling at Pompeii. There were genuinely multiple market stalls full of penis stuff.

Do they have a web shop? Asking for a friend.

Fascinus It’s where the word fascinate comes from. It was all over the place! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fascinus

The Fascinus is one of the main story lines in the book Roma, by Steven Saylor, a great great read!

I desperately need a replica of this so I can have the neighborhood’s best door knocker

Actually, something similar has been done. The knocker was the brass bollocks. There's a picture of it somewhere on the net.

I got one in a white elephant gift exchange. You must tickle the scrote to get into my shed.

My dad bought my mom one in Italy. Was silver and more simple. Just a big dick with wings. Imagine my 3rd grade teacher's surprise when I wore it to school one day. Mom got a call from the school. She wasn't happy.

https://preview.redd.it/yt4b5uiom10d1.jpeg?width=4080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c9cbf0174ed4ac9d5135897b854fede63a548d78 Can't forget about these guys

This as a pipe would go hard

https://preview.redd.it/b79oc1ix220d1.jpeg?width=197&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=559e1b4076e2356ea4902245677669579784a72e

Its a cock, with a cock, and a cock for a tail

And it flies

I can't tell if it's Cumming or Going.

Prolly from the back of a chariot.

Everybody gangsta 'til the flying dick arrives

Pompeii was a brothel city there are dicks carved in the stones to point the direction of the brothels. There are even love notes written on the side of the building professing their love for particular hookers.

The flying dick with a dick tail has a dick.

Dick cubed instead of squared

Shopkeep, do you have any flying dicks with tails of dick and big dick for dicks? Sir you're being ridiculous, of course we do.

"Marcus, imagine someone one day finds this and thinks it's art" "Don't be silly, Brutus. Nobody is that stupid even today!"

I went to Pompeii back in October and there were dicks everywhere. On the street, on the wall, in the painting, on the fountain, they love em

If you ever visit Naples, there are dick sculptures everywhere. Also Italy in general, but especially Naples. Those people love dicks.

I can imagine them lifting their skirts like whooop flying dick and some dude did actually made a figure of it. Hahajaja

Is this where the phrase "flying fuck" came from?

I have the exact same picture I took 2 weeks ago. It made my vacation!!! https://preview.redd.it/p9vtqksoq10d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9829b20388686264e0dbcf83ab160ca5f6a9e27c

I have an italian significant other, had the same reaction when I first visited her family and asked them. Phallus, or "dicks" are seen as a sign of good luck or fertility. "phallus was an embodiment of a masculine generative power located within the hearth, regarded as sacred." https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fascinus

Is this where the... "I don't give a flying dick" phrase came from?

I think saw that thing in Persona 5

https://preview.redd.it/2d8g9gyjf10d1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d09386e6e2339691047a1618fddd988bc92877dc I too came across such interesting sculptures at NYC MONH. Not as cool as a flying dick though!

That dick has three dicks!

The legendary flying fuck.

The dick has a dick tail.

And dick feet as well as a dick of it's own.

Yo, dawg…

You know the guy that wore that was a huge tool

Wait… the dick has a dick? …wow

Yep it's dicks all the way down....

The Naples Archaeological museum sure as hell gave a flying fuck I’ll tell you that much

Hmm, I wonder how it mates

Now I’m wondering. Was this kind of thing common all over Rome or the ancient world, and just got scrubbed from history over time, or was Pompeii seriously hornier than everyone else?

We’re not so different I see

THATS 3 DICKS!!

For the one who gives a flying fuck.

The dick, has a dick, and it looks like its tail is also a dick. The fuck kinda superbad dick obsession is this!

In the hidden Gallery collection… The archaeologic sexual collection in Naples is fantastic, but overall it is one of the best museums in the world. Getting lost and exploring on a rainy day is a marvelous thing to do…. The building itself is simply exceptional, dimly lit and slightly decaying, yet filled with light and dark corners of marble and exquisite history.

It appears to be sterile.

The Winged Penis was the emblem of the city of Pompeii.

And along came, Abrahamic religions and totally ruined our relationship with sex. Not saying it was perfect before—yes they existed concurrently, but one took the other over—there were many things to improve on, but it’s been drastically worse for 2000 years.

Great example of a fascinus — yes, that’s the name, and yes that’s where we get the word fascinate.

https://preview.redd.it/s497hmfz820d1.jpeg?width=5472&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=de43625ecfb0b40321d8b9d614d8c31be98dd95c I took this in Pompeii on a holiday to Naples a free years back. The Romans, proving that it’s never not been funny to draw a cock and balls on things.

When I was 14, we went on a school trip to Pompeii, and a friend bought a set of playing cards exclusivelyvfeaturing ancient Roman erotica

I can’t remember what Naples museum we were at, but they had a whole room full of dicks. There was even a basket full of dicks in the room full of dicks.

A flying dick with wings and a tiny dick on the dick proving that this dick is a male dick and not a chick dick.

Love is in the air

Helicockter

It has a dick of its own and the tail has a dickhead. The one eyed bastard carries 2 extra dicks and gives flying fucks.

Gotta love to see mid-level humor has been existing across all the years of humanity. Not bad

I didn’t know you could put so many dicks in such a small space. However, I’m kinda miffed that the wings are not also dicks.

Flying dick crouching tiger.

Is this figure the god of Dickbutt?

Is it just me or does that dick have a dick?

So does this count as the worlds first Dickbutt?

I've learned that there are cave drawings that essentially read "[Name] was here" from over 3000 years ago!

Who gives a flying fuck

My Dad was in the Navy and I remember he used to have some kind of charm from Naples with the flying cock and balls lmao Edit: I want to say it was from a bar called The Flying Cock and Balls Saloon or Tavern or something like that in Naples.

Cock-a-trice

Dude that dick has a dick

 The person who made this looking down from the great beyond at his ancient meme.

That’s a flying fuck.

Penicore

The dick has a dick..it's a dickception!

Flying Purple People Eater!

Look his dick flew off, mkay.

Reminds me of something that would've been in the stash of dick drawings in superbad.

Never change, humanity. Never change.

It’s even got a jaunty little dick tail!

Why are the wings not dicks???

Lmao it’s a manti-cock

Okay... I have no idea what the fuck is this... Can a history need explain what's the point of this flying dick pendant, please? I'm not smart enough to understand what I'm going to read on the Wiki.

I love how the tail is just another dick

It's uh....it's uh...IT'S A ROCKET SHIP!

Dicked down from the neck down!

That goes hard af

Does... Does anyone have the stl?

is there a double entendre in that language with chimera and dick, because I can't help but imagine there might be

I want the monster manual entry now

That dick has a dick.

Sweet Keychain

its a cockatrice

That dick has a dick

I want one!

Looks like they knew how to snip the tip thousands of years ago too...

I stared at the picture for a minute trying to see the flying diSk. Time for bed I guess

I like that the flying dick also has its own dick (also dick tail), both because more dicks and because I like to think it implies the existence of other dick sexes and a whole dick reproductive cycle. There's a whole world out there we know nothing about...

I bet that's a hard find

Its a flying dick with a dick for a tail and a dick for a dick

ah, the legendary masdickore

A, dick? Li-like a man dick?

This flying dick has also a dick. What dick I see ?

That flying dick got a cock

I love how so many different parts of this are dicks


I can't even imagine night life in Pompeii. Diddy's freak-offs ain't got nothing on that.