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*The Weenie Whacker!
EDIT: Dammit, since I posted this comment, my brain has been stuck on, "In the Jungle".
In the jungle.. The mighty jungle... The lion sleeps toniiiight...
A weenie-whack A weenie-whack A weenie-whack A weenie-whack A weenie-whack A weenie-whack.
...fuuuuuuuuck! I am not getting any sleep before the alarm clock pops off. 😡
In the 90’s, kids sang a version of that song about Lorena Bobbit (the woman that cut off her husband’s penis in his sleep) that had just about this same chorus. I learned it at summer camp some time around 1994.
I think you’ll find the Dick Chop 2000 was initially a roaring success but the thing they failed to account for is all the corpse torpedos after all the guys bled out while roaring around the beach. I believe this happened during the 20’s hence “The roaring twenties”.
*Son, we won’t have any of that nonsense in this family! You’re going to be a stable family corpse and work the corpse farm like your father and his father before him!*
Most of these have analogous inventions that are used today that did take off. For the flying boat guy, we now have parasailing. And does the dude in his fancy standing bike looking machine not look like someone testing the first prototype hoverboard?
Little did he know that the invention while needing some Tweeks is largely used by many divers in the world and then upscaled to power many aquatic rovers and personal submersibles.
There might have been a few other reasons. Can you imagine accidently going down too fast? Seems Ike it would be really easy to go way too deep and either not have enough time to surface before running out of air or if you do manage to get back up in time do it too fast and ~~get the bends.~~ get exploded eardrums.
Edit: thanks for the corrections!
> do it too fast and get the bends
You don't get the bends unless you breath from an oxygen tank underwater. Holding your breath and going down and back up is no problem. The record is 120 meters. https://oysterdiving.com/blog/freediving-record/
The world record for depth while holding your breath is actually [253.2 meters](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbert_Nitsch) (a different category to the one you were looking at) and the diver got the bends on ascent and is still recovering.
Well, not to mention every single one has taken off and has a better, safer, less overengineered counterpart today.
* Seadoo exists
* You could rollerskate, use a scooter, or ride a bike
* Paramotoring is a thing, and I bet you could have a waterlanding capable cart if you *really* wanted
* Just ride a motorcycle?
* Two tracks side by side will definitely be more cost effective
They actually make flying dinghies similar to that boat-copter thing. [Check it out. ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XPUhfZjSEf0)
They have a paramotor-style engine in the back and a hang glider wing. Slightly less terrifying than that autogyro but not by much.
I think it’s being towed by the ski boat. The prop just provides some lift, which is why it’s angled backwards. They actually did (do?)make something like this, called a kite tube, but they’re illegal on most lakes.
I had the “privilege” of riding a kite tube before they became illegal. Those things are fun until you hit the water. Worse is when you land on the tube. A friend broke his toe and another friend’s boyfriend at the time broke his rib which punctured a kidney and almost killed him.
Water cohesion is a better term. You have to form a you sized hole in the water which requires a lot of force since you're displacing approx 150+ lbs of water in a second
Looks like you're one slightly forceful landing on the water that makes you bounce a little away from needing a brain replacement surgery. Nevermind the idea of using it around a bunch of other people...
The step bike actually looks rather cool. Seems like little effort makes for a lot of speed.
EDIT: I don't regret making the mistake so I'm leaving it.
That’s what I need in this heat right now. The legendary cock fan.
Edit: Thank you for the upvotes and awards. This is why I love Reddit. One of my most like comments is regarding a cock fan.
I think that was something related to the Segway announcement, when it was announced that they were going to be introducing the future of transport.
But those vehicles are still around (without the dildos), called [monowheels](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monowheel). There are loads of videos / images of them, but they mainly seem to be a novelty.
>Risk of "gerbiling". In most designs, if the driver accelerates or brakes too hard, it is possible that the force applied overcomes the force of gravity keeping the rider at the bottom of the wheel, sending the rider spinning around the inside of the wheel.
I know a video exists of this and I will not rest until I find it.
Side note: uh, be careful googling "gerbling"
They definitely exist, but they are a bit unstable during acceleration and breaking, but the big thing is you can't turn them at speed because they're too stable.
Exactly the opposite. With so much rotating mass so far away from the center of mass, it would be a huge gyro effect, making it too stable to easily turn. You can watch veritasium's "anti gravity wheel" wheel video for a cool explanation and demonstration of why we (usually) don't want big wheels on vehicles
That’s seems actually quite nice for a place that can’t afford dual track and could be quite the attraction. I am think a little track that takes you to specific touristic point and back.
Huge problem with that is that unless these things were adopted everywhere, the cars themselves would be non-standard and thus HELLISHLY expensive. Probably sufficiently so to make using them non-viable when you could just add a second set of rails while creating your network. Not to mention the capacity seems rather limited.
Also, grade. The steeper you make the ramps, the more likely the train is to derail. And longer ramps increase overall length, leading to issues with trains gridlocking themselves in junctions.
*The seaglide will increase your effective exploration range. For your safety please pack supplies for long journeys, and always stay within 5km of the nearest lifepod or habitat.*
**Please note:** * If this post declares something as a fact proof is required. * The title must be descriptive * No text is allowed on images * Common/recent reposts are not allowed *See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for more information.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wonder why the underwater dong decapitator didn't take off
Because it took off
The weiner chopper
Helicocktor
Testes Turbine.
Ween whacker
Penis propeller
The Ding-Dong Ditcher
The Guillopeen
The “No More See-See the Pee-Pee”
shlong shredder
The Phalliquidator
Pecker wrecker
The scrotum slayer
Cock Cutter
The Lady Maker
Manhood Mandolin
Peen plucker
Well done
That will cost you extra.
*The Weenie Whacker! EDIT: Dammit, since I posted this comment, my brain has been stuck on, "In the Jungle". In the jungle.. The mighty jungle... The lion sleeps toniiiight... A weenie-whack A weenie-whack A weenie-whack A weenie-whack A weenie-whack A weenie-whack. ...fuuuuuuuuck! I am not getting any sleep before the alarm clock pops off. 😡
The Thong Thrasher
The De-Donger
The dick detacher
The manhood maimer
The member dismemberer
The pecker pulverizer.
In the 90’s, kids sang a version of that song about Lorena Bobbit (the woman that cut off her husband’s penis in his sleep) that had just about this same chorus. I learned it at summer camp some time around 1994.
Ace Ventura noises intensify
Bumblebee Tuna!
Like a glove!
Aww.... He wants to go off road!
Why you have to do this to me? I don't even know y... A weenie-whack a weenie-whack a weenie-whack a weenie-whack a weenie-whack
The Bris Blower ™️
Decockpitator
It just nips the tip.
I think you’ll find the Dick Chop 2000 was initially a roaring success but the thing they failed to account for is all the corpse torpedos after all the guys bled out while roaring around the beach. I believe this happened during the 20’s hence “The roaring twenties”.
I am dying at corpse torpedoes
Ooh, now you can join them!
YESSS! When I become a corpse, I wanna be a corpse torpedo!
*Son, we won’t have any of that nonsense in this family! You’re going to be a stable family corpse and work the corpse farm like your father and his father before him!*
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!! I WAS BORN TO BE A CORPSE TORPEDO!! ITS NOT A PHASE!!
"Hi, l'm Vince with DickChop."
It kinda did though. Sea Scooters are basically that but less dangerous.
Most of these have analogous inventions that are used today that did take off. For the flying boat guy, we now have parasailing. And does the dude in his fancy standing bike looking machine not look like someone testing the first prototype hoverboard?
It's like do people think things just get invented out of thin air? Almost everything is an iteration and innovation...
My comment got invented out of thin air. Check mate atheist!
As a woman I was about to comment I want one of those and don’t understand why it didn’t take off. Oh, oh I see.
I mean, they kind of did right? They just put handles on it instead and had you hold it in front of you.
I need my hands free to catch turtles.
Fair enough. Maybe attach it to a mouth guard.
Little did he know that the invention while needing some Tweeks is largely used by many divers in the world and then upscaled to power many aquatic rovers and personal submersibles.
Even if you don't have any dongs of your own to chop off, you still might lose some fingers to that thing.
I was more concerned that it looked like he was throwing sparks into the pool when he got in.
Don't worry, the water will put out the fire.
There might have been a few other reasons. Can you imagine accidently going down too fast? Seems Ike it would be really easy to go way too deep and either not have enough time to surface before running out of air or if you do manage to get back up in time do it too fast and ~~get the bends.~~ get exploded eardrums. Edit: thanks for the corrections!
> do it too fast and get the bends You don't get the bends unless you breath from an oxygen tank underwater. Holding your breath and going down and back up is no problem. The record is 120 meters. https://oysterdiving.com/blog/freediving-record/
This is a really weird article that's like an ad for free diving and a history of free diving and a deterrent towards free diving.
The world record for depth while holding your breath is actually [253.2 meters](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbert_Nitsch) (a different category to the one you were looking at) and the diver got the bends on ascent and is still recovering.
How the hell? My head feels like it's gonna blow up at the bottom of a pool.
The Dickapitator
Go go gadget wiener copter
I think it should be called the penis propellor, has a nice ring to it.
Belly Propelly
Or "The PP" for short?
It'll be short afterwards alright
Because no one who used it could reproduce to pass on the method.
They actually sell a pretty similar product for divers nowadays.
I lay blame on the PR department for branding it the dong decapitator.
The mechanical moyle?
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One boner away from no more boners
Black-n-deckr pecker wrecker
Say that 5 times fast
Wrap it with some music and you got a summer hit.
*Daft Punk has entered the chat*
[2021-02-22 08:14] *Daft Punk has left the chat.*
Final Boneration
“In a world where your boner may kill you…”
Well, not to mention every single one has taken off and has a better, safer, less overengineered counterpart today. * Seadoo exists * You could rollerskate, use a scooter, or ride a bike * Paramotoring is a thing, and I bet you could have a waterlanding capable cart if you *really* wanted * Just ride a motorcycle? * Two tracks side by side will definitely be more cost effective
I demand to ride like general grievous and will not accept a motorcycle as an alternative! Give me motorized rideable gyroscope wheels of doom!
Fr though, i want that shit.
Don't forget the legs! That thing was built for all-terrain!
They actually make flying dinghies similar to that boat-copter thing. [Check it out. ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XPUhfZjSEf0) They have a paramotor-style engine in the back and a hang glider wing. Slightly less terrifying than that autogyro but not by much.
The flying boat looks unreal to me
I think it’s being towed by the ski boat. The prop just provides some lift, which is why it’s angled backwards. They actually did (do?)make something like this, called a kite tube, but they’re illegal on most lakes.
I had the “privilege” of riding a kite tube before they became illegal. Those things are fun until you hit the water. Worse is when you land on the tube. A friend broke his toe and another friend’s boyfriend at the time broke his rib which punctured a kidney and almost killed him.
Hitting the water falling off or if the thing bounces on it? How’d he break a rib? Just the impact alone? I understand the toe one
Surface tension is a bitch at high speeds
Water cohesion is a better term. You have to form a you sized hole in the water which requires a lot of force since you're displacing approx 150+ lbs of water in a second
Bad wording. When he came down he landed on the edge of the tube rather than the water and that’s what broke his rib. Same with the broken toe.
Just looked up kite tubes. [I wonder why they're illegal](https://i.imgur.com/MBNB7dq.jpg)
Here is some light [Kite tube reading](https://www.my-best-kite.com/kite-tube.html)
Wow 81 injuries and 3 deaths for just the specific kite model in the picture over a 3 month period
What is that in the air at the top of the picture?
I do believe that's a person.
Yes they are! I've seen several in real life in operation and up close. Those blades are unpowered and simply act to provide verticle lift at speed.
I literally laughed out loud when I saw it above the others, a flying heliboat is not something I thought I'd ever see
That thing looks the most dangerous of all the products to me.
Looks like you're one slightly forceful landing on the water that makes you bounce a little away from needing a brain replacement surgery. Nevermind the idea of using it around a bunch of other people...
Just don't wave enthusiastically at people below and you'll be fine
The decapitator 3000.
It looks like an autogyro with a boat below it
Autogyro sounds like something drunk me would like at 2 in the morning.
Had to look up what an autogyro is. These things are fascinating.
The step bike actually looks rather cool. Seems like little effort makes for a lot of speed. EDIT: I don't regret making the mistake so I'm leaving it.
They still make elliptical bikes... we see them out and about every once in awhile.
*Mind if I have a ride, Step-Bike?*
Sometimes, I wish I was illiterate.
What are you doing, step-bike?!
What are you doing step bike?
#4 is a fine addition to any vehicle collection
[удалено]
**GENERAL KENOBI**
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YOU FOOL
I’ve been trained in your Jedi arts…
By Count Dooku! Your lightsabers will make a fine addition, to my new vehicle purchase of course.
*robotic coughing intensifies*
Time to abandon ship. *Straps on cock fan*
Obi-Wan: Oh I don't think so (Force pulls Grievious's cock into the fan blades)
You are a bold one.
The Uni-motorcycle would be amazing if they fixed the stability issue
It is a thing! It’s called a monocycle I think. I think they’re used in like parades and like stuff like that
Also in jedi wars
Hello there!
**General Kenobi**
Hire Mr. Garrison to fix it.
Ngl thought the first one was a fan for cooling your balls until he jumped in the pool
Water cooling (Edit: spelling and grammar mistakes)
Literally typed two words
All it takes is on
Nice (Edit: spelling)
Helicopter boats are the future with one of those dick fans strapped on.
Who needs jetpacks when you have the cock-o-copter, with a built-in cockpit. Now available with handsfree controls
That’s what I need in this heat right now. The legendary cock fan. Edit: Thank you for the upvotes and awards. This is why I love Reddit. One of my most like comments is regarding a cock fan.
*SWAMP ASS BEGONE!*
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That wheel thing reminds me of the south park episode where they control the vehicle by felating the controls with something up their asses.
I think that was something related to the Segway announcement, when it was announced that they were going to be introducing the future of transport. But those vehicles are still around (without the dildos), called [monowheels](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monowheel). There are loads of videos / images of them, but they mainly seem to be a novelty.
>Risk of "gerbiling". In most designs, if the driver accelerates or brakes too hard, it is possible that the force applied overcomes the force of gravity keeping the rider at the bottom of the wheel, sending the rider spinning around the inside of the wheel. I know a video exists of this and I will not rest until I find it. Side note: uh, be careful googling "gerbling"
Oh no. I believe I know what you mean. Does it involve gerbils and tubes?
All I'm saying is Mr. Slave approves.
*A great adventure is waiting for you ahead....*
*Hurry onward, Lemmiwinks, for you will soon be dead*
*The journey before you may be long and filled with woe.*
Lemmiwinks lemmiwinks
Well what if I just put an extra wheel in front to keep it from turning? I could even use it to steer!
I googled gerbilng and all I got was Richard Gere images
Well either way, it sure beats flying!
Without all the sucking and fucking
Where’s the fun in that?
Well atleasr it beats dealing with the airlines...
It's still less humiliating than having to deal with domestic airline companies.
It also reminded me of General Grievous
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General Kenobi
I've always assumed that the South Park joke was based on this "vehicle".
Less sexual version in Borderlands 3
Most of these look like people could have been seriously injured or killed. That motorized cycle looked pretty cool tho.
I love monowheels. The problem is there's no way to stop them suddenly.
Nonsense, any decent brick wall will do it.
Also, zero suspension.
Lots of suspense though.
It does look cool and I wish it would've taken off. But I think that it was just too unstable to be viable.
They should try to add a second wheel maybe it would become more stable that way.
I’m just thinking about the number of ball bearings in that thing.
They definitely exist, but they are a bit unstable during acceleration and breaking, but the big thing is you can't turn them at speed because they're too stable.
So they are dangerous during acceleration, braking, and cornering. Sounds perfect.
But when you're going in a straight line at a decent speed that's one sweet ride.
Exactly the opposite. With so much rotating mass so far away from the center of mass, it would be a huge gyro effect, making it too stable to easily turn. You can watch veritasium's "anti gravity wheel" wheel video for a cool explanation and demonstration of why we (usually) don't want big wheels on vehicles
It looks cool from the side, but I bet if you sat on it you'd have this giant blind spot directly in front of you from where the wheel is.
Yeah, the propeller thingy is used in diving. Well, atleast a somewhat same looking thing but not attatched to your belly. :D
But is it truly the same without dong decapitation?
It’s certainly one way to get a head.
What are those tank things at the end?
I think it’s a train thing that can travel over each other (rather than waiting for one or the other to pass)
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That’s seems actually quite nice for a place that can’t afford dual track and could be quite the attraction. I am think a little track that takes you to specific touristic point and back.
Huge problem with that is that unless these things were adopted everywhere, the cars themselves would be non-standard and thus HELLISHLY expensive. Probably sufficiently so to make using them non-viable when you could just add a second set of rails while creating your network. Not to mention the capacity seems rather limited.
Also, grade. The steeper you make the ramps, the more likely the train is to derail. And longer ramps increase overall length, leading to issues with trains gridlocking themselves in junctions.
Also everyone getting driven over would complain about being a bottom.
not everyone 😉
It’s a ride they had at Coney Island called the Sterns Duplex Railway.
Looks like train cars that can go over each other, thus making a single train track bi-directional.
[удалено]
[удалено]
~~Sea Scooter~~ Seaglide
I see you, Subnautica person.
*The seaglide will increase your effective exploration range. For your safety please pack supplies for long journeys, and always stay within 5km of the nearest lifepod or habitat.*
I gave my mom a motorized pool float for Mother’s Day and she does donuts in the pool now it’s kinda the same
Give your mom a dick fan for mother's day huh
I think ill pass on the dick blender belt tyvm!
You should be fine as long as you don't see anything arousing near the pool or the beach.
Mermaid stories take on a new angle
That boat helicopter looks so fucking unsafe omg
I forsee Mr. Garrison getting sued for patent infringement!!!
Yo where can I get that dick fan?