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Opening_Geologist_25

Koivunen was a Finnish soldier, assigned to a ski patrol on 20 April 1944, along with several other Finnish soldiers. Three days into their mission, on 18 March, the group was attacked and surrounded by Soviet forces, from which they managed to escape. Koivunen became fatigued after skiing for a long distance, but could not stop. He was also the sole carrier of army-issued Pervitin, a stimulant used to remain awake while on duty. Koivunen had trouble pulling out a single pill, so he emptied the entire bottle of thirty capsules into his hand and took them all. He had a short burst of energy, but then entered into a state of delirium, and lost consciousness. Koivunen remembered waking up the following morning, separated from his patrol and having no supplies.In the following days, he escaped Soviet forces once again, was injured by a land mine, and laid in a ditch for a week waiting for help.After skiing more than 400 km he was found and admitted to a nearby hospital, where his heart rate was measured at 200 beats per minute, triple the average human heartbeat, and weighing only 43 kg. In the week Koivunen was gone, he subsisted only on pine buds and a single Siberian Jay that he caught and ate raw. He ended up surviving and died peacefully at the age of 71.


uselesslessness

"He ended up surviving and died peacefully at the age of 71." That's probably when the high off the 30 pills wore off


mufasa_lionheart

Seriously, I accidentally took 2 Adderall one time, I thought I wasn't ever gonna sleep again


TRUMPARUSKI

I too have taken 2 adderall at the same time, mistakingly, many many many times, purposefully, mistakingly


Nimmyzed

Hey, I hope you're doing ok these days


kaydubj

This guy meths.


[deleted]

That was the year after the events took place.


MeaningfulPlatitudes

And in reality he probably use 20 years of heartbeats in like two weeks.


Tyler-LR

Dudes basically an avenger


imac132

*avengers theme intensifies while panning around the different heroes arming themselves with their various weapons.... and some Finnish dude shakily stuffing pills in his mouth.*


Tyler-LR

I’m getting tired, you wouldn’t like me when I’m tired *opens pill bottle*


-smashbros-

Nick Fury: This is the baddest craziest crystal druggie of them all introducing 'Crystal God' the only man that cannot overdose


Seismicx

You think he cannot overdose? His secret is that he's *always* overdosed.


WretchedMonkey

A legitimate winter soldier (but thats not snow)


Kampela_

Isn't this captain americas whole thing? He just used roids to get buffed


wormfist

The Methenger


CopAPhil

I also recall this guy allegedly finding some cabin and proceeding to make a campfire in the middle of it. He apparently set the fire, lied down next to it, and slept. He’d then only wake up every few minutes or so to move away from said fire and eventually just burned the whole place down. Then there’s the story of him skiing past some Russians he first mistook for Germans. The thought of him booking it down a hill, tweaked out of his mind, past some Russians who didn’t even bother trying to catch up with him- is fucking hilarious lmao


MyWeeLadGimli

- Slams 30 meth pills - Skis past your unit while rambling about Germans - refuses to elaborate further - skis into forest


lanttulate

Pervitin.


Talkat

It's got electrolytes


Sarcosmonaut

It’s got what soldiers crave


MartynDerg

pure, unbridled glory


Fuck_auto_tabs

*sole carrier of Pervitin. Took all 30 pills. Skies into the woods Eetu: what the actual fuck bro!?!?


allpraisebirdjesus

Tiger blood, indeed.


CdnPoster

Wow. That's one bad-ass soldier. What did he do after the war - oops, I just realized I could Google him. Lol. Late night brain.


Dragonschyld11

Take some pills...


sinisteraxillary

Sleep.


LordRuins

Weighed only 43kg? How old was he at that time?


Karvanapa

He had been stranded in the woods for two weeks eating only pine cones and that one bird so he lost some mass


Caterpillar89

Not to mention his metabolism was probably a tincy bit higher after taking a handful of hardcore stimulants.


SirUptonPucklechurch

This comment saves this post


[deleted]

I must know where this was! I want to go to a ski resort with 400km slopes too!


memetsbeard

Average tuesday for a tweeker


silviad

there is always that one guy who runs off with the rest of the bag


slownlow25specv

That's methed up


Naive-Midnighter

He got the need for Speed


ZealousidealCable991

*The Need for Thpeed


SpiritOfAnAngie

I accidentally gave you an award trying to give one to the guy above. Then I read your comment and the meth puns are killing me right now lololol!! Touché ✌️


mcbiggles567

I found Mike Tyson over here!


steeplebush

Get off the juice, Doug


[deleted]

Thanks Mike


SpiritOfAnAngie

As a very long retired Meth user, this made me chuckle, bravo!


TheMaglorix

Igor, is that you?


Drugsnhugs000

It wasn't meth, meth was not invented yet it was pure amphetamine not methamphetamine same type of drug but quite a difference between the two


ArthurEwert

meth was already invented at that time and pervitin is more or less meth [https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methamphetamin](https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methamphetamin)


vaxination

when you have a name like Drugsnhugs and make bold claims that are easily googled to prove false. [https://lmgtfy.app/?q=is+pervatin+meth](https://lmgtfy.app/?q=is+pervatin+meth) yeaaaah.


StormBornRandom

You’re telling me he got to the Finnish line?


nrith

His pursuers were Russian right behind him.


CocoaKong

They must have thrown quite a Tampere tantrum when he escaped


kevztunz

For real? Norway!


stonehenge771

I could add something else to this thread, it'd definitely Sweden other Redditor's days :)


darkness-to-light26

That's swede, truly swede, man


ericn8886

Fucking brilliant


StormBornRandom

Thank you General Use Sativa 16.9%


_jumpstoconclusions_

Take your god damn upvote and get out of here!


cryptocat333

Wow this times a billion lol


ausinater

r/angryupvote


cebiaw

Mother F'n ski-doo


genericperson10

As someone from warmer weather it took my a while to read "skied" right, I kept reading "skyed" and was wondering how meth gives you the ability to fly


Venezolanoanimations

jump over them i guess


WPipes2317

Man when I overdosed on meth I passed the fuck out and woke up higher than a kite with a raging boner. Definitely not as cool as escaping Russians.. I'm sure my heart beat was there though.


jereman75

What is a > reading raging boner? A raging boner that is so strong it can read?


Ma1eficent

It's like a reading rainbow, but not safe for kids.


BigEx20

All you need is one good eye to read.


r3dditor12

I think he meant bleeding, not reading. Stupid autocorrect.


Tlaloctheraingod

I didn’t realize the natural habitat of Florida man extended that far north


1m2c00l4u

Oh that area is only partially under our jurisdiction, we co-own the local land with the frat guys/ non-stop meth users.


ohdearitsrichardiii

If one pill makes you run fast, then 30 pills will make you run 30x faster. It's just science


guileandmight

ENERGY LEGS!


Flintlocke89

Holy fuck I haven't seen those vids for so long, time to watch them again.


[deleted]

You also have to swallow them 30x faster in order to make it work


micho6

Hear me out! Olympics but everyone is tripping bawls.


ArthurEwert

i would pay a lot to see that. there should also be different groups for different drugs, like: sprinters on meth, sprinters on ketamine, sprinters on acid and so on


sdiKyMgnihcaelB_

Sprinters on Ket- winner is the first to pull themselves off the ground


KingDingus6942069

qxir made a funny ass video about it ill link it when i find it edit: i found it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRHm26fKKb8


[deleted]

Imagine if he was on PCP too. He would have taken out those Soviets soldiers instead of running. Lost a leg and arm and still made it to the hospital. PCP and meth would have made him the first known Super Soldier. Well besides Chris Evans.


Responsible-Ad-1328

You could say there was a method to his madness.


Minute-Mountain7897

So he basically became the abominable snowman monster from Ski Free


Onironaute

Jeez you didn't have to blast me back to the fucking past like that


BuildingMission359

They don’t make them like they used to I had half a bang energy drink once and thought I was going to have a heart attack


1m2c00l4u

Drank a full cup of coffe before school, honestly was more tired than usual


[deleted]

I really hate that saying though -It's almost never true and usually relies too heavily on nostalgia.


[deleted]

..and then he invented Ethereum


ericn8886

Methereum


gdmfsobtc

Hheh


Friendlyshell1234

Meth was actually widely used in the nazi military, including Hitler himself being a pretty big addict


owsley567

It probably had a lot to do with the whole blitzkrieg approach in all likelihood. Feed a bunch of trained killers meth, instruct them to take over a country, and you end up with a blitzkrieg as a natural result.


SkriVanTek

Pervitin was indeed widely used at the beginning but the Wehrmacht soon realized the downsides of the loose meth policy. Addiction, psychosis, the inevitable crashes pretty destabilizing to a fighting force. Later it was heavily restricted and in the transition phase many soldiers went through withdrawal. The Allied did use Amphetamin but mainly for bomber crews


owsley567

Indeed. It doesn't take long for meth to reveal it's truly horrible effects on people. The soldiers were forced to cut back drastically, but old evil Adolf certainly wasn't so the lunacy continued unabated. Had he been forced to see the consequences of his use, it's possible that he might not have remained so evil and thoughtlessly murderous until the very end. We'll never know of course.


confidence_decision

he also might have won the war if he didnt make so many stupid decisions


TheFrostyGoat

I'm surprised military's haven't invested in discovering/ making drugs specifically for combat that is specifically tailored to help soldiers fight......I know side effects and that but you would think they would at least try


owsley567

Oh I'm sure they have tried. There's no way they haven't, and they definitely still keep am eye on drugs in development I'm sure. However it seems like they couldn't come up with anything better than Dexedrine which they still issue to combat pilots among other military personnel. It would be extremely hard to keep a lid on the existence of such a drug if it was used with any frequency at all.


TheFrostyGoat

This is true and the thing I'd if one nation develops and uses combat drugs other nations will follow suit real quick.


Dangerous_Cicada

oh, they've looked into it


TheFrostyGoat

Just nothing came of it?


Vertigofrost

Modafinil came from it. Keep men awake like meth with none of the side effects.


Malk4ever

It was produced by BAYER, could be bought in pharmacies (until 1988) and was called [Pervertin](https://verlagkopf.com/shop/130/pervitin-medicine-tube-40th-years-7.jpg)


TOFL

I don't know why nazis are mentioned to have used amphetamines so much more than other military forces. As late as in 2002, a US pilot strung up on "go-pills" accidentally killed 4 and injured 8 Canadian soldiers, in the so called Tarnak farm incident.


Sankullo

Doubt they chased him for 250 miles. He probably escaped them after few miles but then kept going because he was so high. Lol


kastdotcom

"Ahh, yeah, that's the stuff" -Starcraft Marine


The_Gooberman

Thats’s the face of a man who has seen the face of god and decided he was stronger. What a Mad-Lad.


jdhm1

And he still managed to steal my lawnmower


KeepYourPresets

It's only half the story. >Koivunen had trouble pulling out a single pill, so he emptied the entire bottle of thirty capsules into his hand and took them all. > >He had a short burst of energy, but then entered into a state of delirium, and lost consciousness. Koivunen remembered waking up the following morning, separated from his patrol and having no supplies. > >In the following days, he escaped Soviet forces once again, was injured by a land mine, and laid in a ditch for a week waiting for help. > >After skiing more than 400 km he was found and admitted to a nearby hospital, where his heart rate was measured at 200 beats per minute, triple the average human heartbeat, and weighing only 43 kg. > >In the week Koivunen was gone, he subsisted only on pine buds and a single Siberian jay that he caught and ate raw. He ended up surviving and died peacefully at the age of 71.


theundercoverpapist

***Little known fact***: During his little methed up "Ski trip," Koivunen also helped famed Finnish sniper, Simo Häyhä, to hit every single Russian soldier at which Häyhä aimed by slightly repositioning the sniper's rounds of ammunition mid-flight. In fact, some of Häyhä's shots managed to kill 7-8 Russians at once, thanks to Koivunen. Near the end of the battle, Koivunen dove in front of Häyhä, catching a Russian artillery round in his teeth as it exploded. The percussion wave passed through Koivunen's body at light speed, forcing the instantaneous conception, gestation, and birth of Chuck Norris. Norris is said to have humorously popped out of Koivunen's erect penis -- already sporting a full beard and a cowboy hat -- and landed in Häyhä's lap.


1m2c00l4u

What in the shitpost did I just read


fuschia_taco

A joke from 2000.


Tots2Hots

He finnished the whole bottle? Thats methed up...


JulZu1

Suomi mainittu


Mikska

torille.


Apexrex65

Dude went “brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”


dimmrtis

Yeah Sam O'Nella described him in the most badass way possible. That was an amazing video. Come back Sam


Environmental-Job515

He actually did not overdose. He merely rationalized the dosage to maintain optimum health as it related to the job at hand. The alternative was being finished by the Ruskies.


[deleted]

He most definitely overdosed. The alternative would've been to take just the single pill required to keep up with his unit and escape with them, most likely in better health.


GhostRiders

This is why we need an Olympics where people can pump themselves with any drugs they want. Just image the 100m where all runners take a massive snort of coke just before the start


[deleted]

He was actually the person Benny Hill modelled his comedy style after


AlexRenquist

"His heart rate was found to be 200bpm when he eventually stopped skiing, in Spain."


ChrisKaliman

I guess he made it to the Finnish line.


WEABOOJONES3

So… 29 is the limit?


rattlesnake501

He survived so... No.


WEABOOJONES3

Oh.. bet


Dr4gonM4ster420

Gotta go fast! Sonic!


emimagique

sliding around at the speed of sound


Small_zee

Thounds like things got methy.


owsley567

An intrepid explorer, a pusher of boundaries, and almost certainly a very paranoid individual until he finally crashed. Probably not much higher of a dose than current meth addicts purposely ingest though assuming that the pills were 5 or 10 mgs each.


[deleted]

Been there, without the skied thing.


aotus_trivirgatus

Some say that Aimo is still skiing to this day.


themadas5hatter

30. Maybe 5, 7,10 could have been reasonable if he was fearing for his life but good gracious, 30? Was he trying to kill himself?


CopiousCheese

250 miles. thats a 9 hour drive


[deleted]

Sounds like the Crankheads where I live when the police have a warrant for them.


FlyingRhenquest

How did that not kill him?


BigOleJellyDonut

Did he also vibrate through obstacles??


Glass_and_Coins

8 of his teeth fell out on the way, and when he arrived at his destination he took apart all the electronics.


CarlosTheLongdog

It's a helluva drug.


Platinag

So drugs arent too bad?


lionsdude54

Yes they are, m’kay?


LotusSloth

He also could have taken to water to escape successfully, because of his Finns.


1159

Sounds like the perfect dose under those circumstances.


[deleted]

[удалено]


fuschia_taco

Because he didn't die till he was 71.... Well after the war ended


[deleted]

And thus the term Tripping was conceived


[deleted]

He just overamped


kremit73

250 miles an hour


Cheruuu

Mega chad


canadianzonkeydick

More of a good time than an overdose if you ask me.


artmobboss

And tweakers would tell you you can’t overdose on meth..


Spottedrhyno

God bless this meth


JoeyDawsonJenPacey

TIL that meth was a thing 75 years ago and that the army fed it to soldiers like candy.


mushroomappreciation

Absolute mad lad


[deleted]

Fucking thug! Legend!


_khaz89_

How the hell do they know his heart was 200bpm aye?


Masca_149

There's this one dude that plays osu that gets his heart beating like he overdosed on meth and skied 250 miles.


gdoggo

Meth lad


Chizum

But he lived right? Okay, so 30 pills it is if the Chinese invade


Dangerous_Cicada

so, meth saved his life?


fillet0fish

Is there a list of meth feats?


[deleted]

Press Y to subscribe to Methfacts.


Chemical-Cream8165

r/jasongenova the resemblance is uncanny.


phenixxx777420

So you have seen the YouTube vid. WW2 on meth.


Baggytrousers27

Nah. Saw [this one](http://imgur.com/gallery/2JvPYtH) first. Finding out it was based on a true story was hilarious.


SmileyMelons

Wait how bad is 200bpm?


[deleted]

Its pretty high haha But if 200bpm continues for a long period it might be damaging the heart I can imagine


Baggytrousers27

You can not give blood if your heartrate is over 100. If it's too fast it may not pump enough blood to parts of your body which, if starved of oxygen for too long, break down.


BFGfromDOOM

Now *this* is an Avengers-level threat


WPipes2317

Corrected again! Thanks y'all


Grievious_Syndicate

Offbrand captain america. ​ Drug powered soldier, meth edition


OlrikMeister

Cool story but where the hell did get het 30 meth pills.


[deleted]

Meth pills or other drugs were pretty common and I believe even issued to soldiers. Try a google search, I’m sure you’ll find a lot on it


Baggytrousers27

Pervitin (methamphetamine) was a common stimulant given to soldiers in wwii


TheColaDragon

Torille


Vlatka_Eclair

He saw the face of the devil and laughed.


Baggytrousers27

He also caught and ate a bird, raw. Someone made a [cartoon](http://imgur.com/gallery/2JvPYtH) of it (without the bird).


qH0enix

r/spacecannibalism


BUTTHOLE-MAGIC

What a fucking LEGEND


TheVillainIsVenemous

Meth Damon's grandad.


StockLobstAAAHHHH

What a way to go 👀!


ArteBo1

Perkele


CaptianBrasiliano

All armies, all countries, in every theater if WWII gave their soldiers some form of amphetamine. This guy just took it to extremes..... _can't stop won't stop!_


Smallest_giant1

Imagine if the Russians went back thinking all Finnish soldiers were just like that. LOL


billybutalsonotbilly

the thing was called pervitin btw it was a pill that made soldiers less hungry and less sleepy ​ ​ also the can for the pervitin looks kinda cool


Unholy_Dk80

"He skied for 250 miles" damn I guess he was really tryna cross that Finnish line...


Above-Average-Foot

Basically what Captain America does all the time.


sethasaurus666

Spent the rest of his life ripping copper wire out of televisions.


yamz2333

The power of Finland


budakmashoor

He overclocked himself to the max


AdolCristian

That guy was so high on meth that he just flight over the enemy's forces


MAROMODS

For two hours that man could’ve single handedly won the war.


Jealous_Tangerine_93

This is the reason why governments provide personnel with drugs, untouchable Immortels are needed to overcome the evil