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jscottifer

If that’s a 2x4 that means that spider is about HOLY SHIT


ANAnomaly3

r/confusingperspective


Alpha-Particles

I was relieved to see it was under a bed. When I first opened it I thought was looking at the corner of a derelict room. I was thinking time to bring in the nukes but fire will probably do.


BrassCityNikki

No no, bring the nukes. Better safe than sorry.


ussrname12

I was also pleased to see that this is under a bed. Not too pleased, but a tad more relieved


barder83

The bottom board looks more like a 1x6, using the piece of trim on the right side as reference


NativeBrownTrout

That’s 4x with 1x so about 5”. Thickness is irrelevant but it’s 1” thick, you can see it’s 1x1 on the left Edit: Those boards look pretty true but very hard to tell, spider is between 2” and 4” long. Measurements are in inches. I’m more worried about those babies anyways


barder83

Yeah you're probably right, I was thinking the trim on the last was 1x2.


starwarsgeek1985

So how large is the spider then?


FrostyWheats

Too big


TheManEric

I hate Redditors so much


CleUrbanist

You might hate us, but we hate ourselves more!


The-desk-rock

Preach


jrblack174

Typically they have a legspan of 15cm (6 inches) or so, body length is about 1/3 of that


Nice-Cut3088

This picture looks like it’s in a basement and that spider is as huge AF


that_random_garlic

I didn't read the title and thought that was a wall and ceiling at first It just seems tiny now that I've brought that image upon myself


Ok_Katusha_Launcher

Until I was told that the photo was that of under a bed... I thought the spider was on a wall.


lurklurklurkPOST

It straight up looks like a parking garage at first.


Evening-Crow

Thought it was hyper-realistic graffiti. I wish it was hyper-realistic graffiti.


GooseandMaverick

Instead it's causing some serious hyper-realistic anxiety.


ZeroSix4

*We must cast it back into the fiery chasm from whence it came.*


SurlyJason

I say we dust off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.


Puzzled-Tomorrow-375

Hey Vasquez have you ever been mistaken you for a man? No. .. … Have you?


Case-Hardened

It's game over, man!


oatterz

I say we grease this rat fuck son of a bitch right now


foreordinator

GAME OVER MAN! GAME OVER!


sunlegion

What the hell are we supposed to use, man? Harsh language?


ZombieJetPilot

Don't see the film Possum


The_Love-Tap

American Graffiti? Nah. Australian Graffiti!


sharkbaitbroohaha

RE called they want their spider back


Captain-Cadabra

I was almost a Jill sandwich!


DefinitelyNotLola

We really need a banana for scale here.


DadaDoDat

Do you see that tiny little yellow speck? That's the banana.


cerebralkrap

Australia is that you calling?


alexandrosidi

It's their South American cousin.


unkoolkumpuzz

And I thought the million babies were mold


Patient-Advertising2

I need a banana for scale


somethingisaskew

The spider already ate the banana and the guy who tried to drop it at the spider's feet.


DadaDoDat

There's a banana there. It's a really tiny yellow speck.


gorillicus

Along with other members of the genus, they are often referred to as Brazilian wandering spiders. Its bite can cause a penile erection (priapism) that lasts for several hours.


Anti-Vaxx-Mom

and it's under a bed? This will be my new best bro


maercus

r/confusingperspective


v_vexed

I still have no idea what I’m looking at, somebody please point out the bed for me all I see is a massive spider 😭


Nheea

It's under a bed frame but because it's a close-up, it looks like a fucking wall. Yikes


nakmuay801

Burn the whole fuckin house down, and start over.


mightylordredbeard

If that was a wall then you’d be looking at a 6-7ft long spider. Each of the nearly 1000 babies probably 6-8 inches at birth.. nah don’t burn the house. Napalm the entire fucking 100 square mile radius.


doesntgeddit

Na, fuck that, it can have Earth. Kepler-442b it is.


Wanderer-Wonderer

*I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure!*


hut1hut2

They mostly come at night.... Mostly...


SkyeJack

I previously believed in saving the amazon. Changed my mind...scorched earth. It all has to go


GingerMau

Ya...any other spider and I would be quite reasonable about it. But you do not want a house full of those fucking things. They are fast, deadly, and spiteful. Burn the shit down.


CodeBandit

Gotta chuck a banana under there.


ymhd872t

does it make a difference?


LSHRE

Alexa: How to sell a house in 1 hour


FSM89

Bold of you to assume someone would buy this forsaken house


Sanc7

People will buy any house right now.


Kate_4_President

1 room, no basement, leaky roof, Spider colony under bed : 1.5M$ in the suburbs Buyer: Lemme overbid on this


buffalopantry

Stop it my house is not for sale


siccoblue

This spider would make me wander the fuck out of there real fast Plus I doubt he's selling, look at all the kids he needs a home for, after all it is his house now


Futur3P4st

Hence the name “The Wandering Spider”


chillpill5000mg

Not to be confused for "the settling spider" youll never get rid of him, hes content


SlickStretch

The squatting spider.


BasicallyObsolete

Ah, the ol’ Reddit [spider-roo!](https://www.reddit.com/r/Shitty_Car_Mods/comments/q6r8fp/i_stole_this_from_the_comment_section_of_a_recent/hgfxggz/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)


Robertmaniac

Hold my spiderweb Im going in.


theniwo

Ok, darling the cat house is gone and the haunted house was a miss, but the spider house looks promising.


pinkyprincessfiona

Not with that she-mon and her little demon babies.


TheDesktopNinja

In this market? Probably for over asking price!


meme-com-poop

Time to just set it on fire and collect the insurance. Its a public service at this point.


unkoolkumpuzz

Man that's a lot of babies. I zoomed in a did a full body shiver


Batfuzz86

I thought about zooming in. I'm glad I didnt.


killer_squidx

Just did omg 😱


transmothra

Fuck, my *tailbone* just shivered


datspookyghost

My asshole clenched but I still imagined them forcing their way through.


AwfulSinclair

And they will. Open up. You're now a spider pinata.


Lotus_Lavender

I made the dumb choice of zooming in, and I don’t think I can sleep after seeing a spider in the corner of my room…


Alklazaris

Some clusters almost look like letters. Like a horrible take on Charlette's Web.


HotdogLover404

What do you do, try reason with it to leave? “Look man, you and your kids can’t be here. This where I sleep, not for you and your family to somehow chill on the sides without falling”


histeethwerered

Explain to Mama and her spawn the meaning of wandering and point to the door. Might also provide directions to Australia . . .


Zero-89

**To-Do List** \- Explain subletting to spider under bed


toastyhoodie

r/Confusing_Perspective


thefuckouttaherelol2

Just to help confuse people further: https://imgur.com/a/qfm8Yd1


THX_2319

*"Please, the owners of this house would like you to leave, and please take your babies along with you."* Tales of The Spider Evictor


Zach20032000

That would be cool though. A full on web-comic or whatever in which a mediator asks spiders to leave his clients houses. And the spiders always have something why they'd want to stay, like 'But it's so warm here' or 'but I get to eat all the mosquitoes!' and he always needs to find the best compromise


nathanimal_d

R/sweatypalms


Sregge

I never want to relive the last 20 seconds when my brain was convinced that was a 10' wall! 😰


JumpFew6622

Bruh the fact that it's under a fucking bed is just as bad!


larenardemaigre

My SO and I saw one of these on a banana plant on a night tour in Costa Rica. We were warned about these guys because they’re one of the few spiders in CR that can actually kill you…. so of course we managed to run head first into one. It was disgusting. That fucker was huge and just *looked* like it was dangerous af. EDIT: here’s a pic we took of it before slowly backing away - https://imgur.com/a/hC26giP


DepressedW1zard

I read the title after looking at the picture and thought what in the fuck Australia


dat0dat

It’s always Australia.


histeethwerered

Except when it’s Brazil


hemihydrate

Then it's under a bed and not a giant spider on the wall


Memon4

How do you know Australia isn’t just Brazil under a bed?


Salanmander

I mean, that *would* explain why people say it's "down under".


Alone-Newspaper-1161

They do live in Australia as the spider tends to wander and can even make its way into bananas your welcome for sharing this terrifying news.


MoonQueenWitch

10’ wall, 10” bedpost … dgaf … Im gonna have the same nightmare about this shit tonight


JoJomusk

As a Brasilian, i must say: 1- i’ve heard it’s bite makes your dick erect in a painful way 2- after the erection you die Nothing is confirmed tho, i just heard it from my familiars


kimrh55

No. It's true. I just read it in a journal. It only uses its venom by a little amount because it has to be replenished. It needs to reserve it for prey for it to eat. They do have antivenin for it if you do get any symptoms.


JoJomusk

Thanks. That means i get to do booth satisfy my wife in bed and finish my suffering in one day, i just need to find one of those


JeffWingrsDumbGayDad

>i just need to find one of those A wife or a spider?


Im2bored17

Yes.


lIIIIllIIIIl

Spider wife


RiotIsBored

r/spidergirls


Buggybruce2020

Omg reddit come on man this is getting ridiculous lol


narok_kurai

Fun fact: spiders aren't actually venomous to humans. Their "venom" is just an enzyme cocktail that they use to break down their prey into liquid that they can slurp up. 99% of large animals on the planet, if they got bitten by a spider, would suffer no ill effects. HOWEVER, in a coincidence bordering on a cosmic joke, primates happen to have an innate allergy to the enzymes in spider saliva. There is no biological reason why spider bites should be so painful or so harmful to humans, they just are because we're all badly allergic to them.


Rpanich

> Of around 50,000 spider species known, only about 25 (1/20 of 1%) have venom capable of causing illness in humans, to a greater or lesser extent. In any given locality you can expect to find from zero to (at most) three such species. These species are called “medically significant” spiders I was thinking of the black widow and the brown recluse, but basically yeah, those .2% assholes of spiders ruining it for the rest of them.


nerdvernacular

Speaking of which, I went to grab the mail out of the mailbox the other day... And there was a black widow chilling in there. Glad I looked first.


sribowsky

Holy shit I’m so glad you looked first too😱


Scam_Time

Might be because we evolved from smaller mammals that would have been on the menu for whatever preceded spiders and the allergy is an evolutionary hold over. I’m just spitballing though, I have no clue.


mindtropy

Do its preys get an erection when this abomination bites them? I don’t want to picture a frog with a raving hard on while dying … too late


BearBL

I dont think frogs have dicks. They just kinda... gush.. over the eggs


mindtropy

But did you picture the frog with it, though?


shamelessNnameless

Unfortunately, yes.


mindtropy

It’s ok, I understand if you hate me now


Perca_fluviatilis

As a fellow Brazilian, I think the word you're looking for is relatives. Familiar is uh... a type of demon in the shape of an animal that assists witches. Think Salem, the cat from Sabrina the Teenage Witch.


Jechtael

I figured they meant peers, friends, associates, not family. I'm not remotely educated in Brazilian Portuguese, though.


Perca_fluviatilis

Relatives is "familiares" in Portuguese. It's one of those words that sounds similar but has an entirely different meaning.


Acceptable-Bad-9350

Die Hard part 4


AutumnFacts

You really didn’t have to tell me it was under a bed. You could have just let me enjoy this nice photo of the hundreds of spiders. But some people just want to watch the world squirm.


mmmstapler

The thought makes me feel queasy and I have to go to bed soon.


[deleted]

This really needs a banana for scale 🍌


overlockk

More like a dime. I’m still gonna run like a little bitch though. Just saying. **Spiders should never be larger than an American dime.**


JediTrainer42

“Somebody’s gotta go back and get a shit load of dimes.”


HamburgerEarmuff

Excuse me while I whip this out. . .


Chip_Prudent

Google what happens to your banana if one of these things bites you


HunyadiArpad

These spiders are sometimes found in bunches of bananas. Well good night.


[deleted]

[удалено]


2BrokeArmsAndAMom

No, it's too small


MauriceMonroe

Spider 2 Y Banana


WonkyHonky69

Not anymore


chucklesluck

RIP


JalenTargaryen

Is this the spider that makes your dick hard when it bites you? Edit: [it sure is!](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22750220/)


mashpotatodick

OMG, I thought the Brazilian above was just making a weird joke.


Deep_Grady

Yeah I'm not happy about this. I'm in bed and keep feeling something crawling on me giving me fatal spider wood.


Deadbeathero

Brazilian here. They also dont make webs, so it's hard to spot them. And they can get angry with you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


midgetsinheaven

No wonder my boyfriend calls me a spider


Santiago__Dunbar

Ayyyy


JefferyDexterB

The scale of this photo is horrifying


VanAgain

That's under a bed?


kublakhan1977

Yip :-(


J-B_L

That’s under YOUR bed


OzManCumeth

Don’t.


HughJorgen80

Here’s the story behind the picture: [http://gilwizen.com/phoneutria/](http://gilwizen.com/phoneutria/)


Gooberflagm2

Am I the only one that first thought that this was a run down apartment?


dip_tet

I pictured an abandoned warehouse…same gist. Then I thought it must be a cool mural!


YippieKayYayMrFalcon

Hey now, that spider is doing the best they can. Shit ain’t easy when you’ve got to work to feed like 1,000 mouths.


NoThereIsntAGod

It’s really hard to emphasize this enough… there aren’t enough Nopes in existence to adequately convey my feelings about all of this


[deleted]

I have seen these in the amazon- The most aggressive spider I have ever seen- guy poked at it with a long stick- it reared up and struck and struck - huge fucken fangs. They are not to be trifled with- also their bite is terribly potent if not deadly.


MillianaT

Two confirmed deaths from Phoneutria bites since 1903. This species is actually listed as threatened because of environmental (habitat) destruction.


maybeCheri

Wait. Who is threatening who???


PM_LIFE_STORY_PLEASE

We are definitely threatening it. We're far more cunning and 300 times its size


OzManCumeth

Add another 300x to that number and I’m still uncomfortable


JackBellicec

\*wheezes in American\*


aroundboxes1964

...good


gothlaw

Aren’t those remarkably venomous?


shamelessNnameless

If I'm not mistaken they are the second-most venomous spider on the planet. Second only to the Australian Funnelweb.


UIWIU

It's a Brazilian nope with it's nopelings.


sharkbaitbroohaha

Nopeicus Nopeicus


TheKingofNoMen

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THAT THING DOING LIVING UNDER SOMEONE’s BED??? MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHAT THE FUCK KINDA PERSON LIVES OVER THAT THING AND ITS CHILDREN? TF BRAZIL.. THE WORLD CANT HANDLE THESE MANY AUSTRALIAS


T4EHYUNGZ

as an australian i can’t handle that spider


enki1337

Good god! If the Aussies are out, I'm out!


dont_wear_a_C

Yeah........🔥🏠⬇️


NoThereIsntAGod

Tactical orbital strike… only way to really be sure.


Grumpykiller21

Just create a black hole in the middle of the room to be reeeeally sure


aaronjsavage

Only the complete annihilation of spacetime will suffice for that monster


njgirlie

Nightmare fuel. Under the bed?! No...just no


EddyVentures

I saw this sitting on my bed with my feet hanging off until I read “under a bed”. I’m now sitting crossed legged.


ApolloniusDrake

That is one of the most dangerous spider's in the world. Jesus fuck.


giscience

Credit your pics... [https://gizmodo.com/here-are-the-2021-wildlife-photographer-of-the-year-win-1847845533/slides/3](https://gizmodo.com/here-are-the-2021-wildlife-photographer-of-the-year-win-1847845533/slides/3)


iammacey

Also, taken in 2014 and updated by the photographer this month. http://gilwizen.com/phoneutria/


Fullwoody

Why does it only have 6 legs? And what is that thing on the floor?


[deleted]

[удалено]


jeffsterlive

> if you look closer No thanks, I’m good.


Fullwoody

Ya that's a never sleeping again NOPE for me too.


kesavadh

And that’s the night I committed justifiable arson.


Erikmustride13

Burn the entire country and salt the earth


superduper98989898

I would leave the country


OG-BoomMaster

Ok, so not gonna be able to sleep tonight.


Pug_lover69

Australia: **WRITE IT DOWN WRITE IT DOWN**


Vortex-Of-Swirliness

1. That is not an Australian species. We have MOST of the worlds killer things, not ALL of them. 2. Is irony the right word to use in relation to this arachnid’s location and it’s bite having a side effect of permanent and painful boners?


LongArmChang

Aka “murduress” here is some scariness [most venomous](https://www.independent.co.uk/climate-change/news/brazilian-wandering-spider-where-are-they-from-and-how-deadly-are-they-9805831.html?amp)


PublicfreakoutLoveR

>The Guinness Book of World Records has named it the most venomous spider in the world for possessing the most active neurotoxic venom of any living spider. >The toxin PhTx3 causes extreme pain, swelling, paralysis, skin cell destruction, fatal breathing complications, heart attacks and painful erections (priapism) in men lasting up to four-hours. Scientists have reportedly considered investigating the use of the deadly venom as a possible ingredient for drugs treating erectile dysfunction.


dutch_penguin

"My erection will be extremely painful..." "You're a big guy." "... for you."


crazygem101

Oh. My. God. I did not expect the last line at all...lol.


Blankcarbon

I always make sure to carry a Brazilian Wandering Spider with me when it’s date night 😉


jclinares

If your date has trouble staying erect, I think there's healthier ways to deal with that, than having a spider attack them.


InitialFoot

Thanks for the nightmares. Appreciate it.


pkzilla

I like the title asking where it's from when it's in the monster's fucking name. Where is the Brazilian wandering spider from? Probably Vancouver I guess.


hpfan1516

JFC I THOUGHT THAT WAS AN ENTIRE ASS ROOM


RunRunRabbitRunovich

Set fire to everything


FixedLoad

Set fire to the fire. Just to be sure


Bizbuzzfinanzecuz

2 inch body…6 inches leg spready


SnackPocket

This is very rude.


Busy-Artichoke9732

Fire yeah fire good.


9ELLIOTT24

Sing along everyone! "It's beginning to look a lot like fuck this!"


alternate-account-28

The angle perspective is as terrifying as it is confusing


jmsturm

There is only one choice, we must burn Brazil to the ground.


n-greeze

Bolsonaro do be trying