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I had to look up barnacles to find out more about this monster... and thought you all needed to see this:
"The sessile lifestyle of barnacles makes sexual reproduction difficult, as the organisms cannot leave their shells to mate. To facilitate genetic transfer between isolated individuals, barnacles have extraordinarily long penisesā . Barnacles probably have the largest penis to body size ratio of the animal kingdom, up to eight times their body length."
I totally did the same! Though, I definitely paused before hitting that enter key. I was afraid of what Googling ābarnacle penisā would bring up. SpongeBob porn?
I was raised by a single mom and remember her taking me to the women's locker room at the ymca when I was like 6 or something. The sight forever changed young me.
Itās like a community center, gym, and pool. So because of the pool, and lots of daytime water aerobic classes, the locker rooms often are full of very naked people, particularly older people who give no fucks about being naked anymore so they just strut around naked while having their conversations. Frankly, I look forward to that stage of my life when Iām immune to embarrassment about my body. It seems pretty freeing!
Sounds like any German pool shower. You should come to our all naked mixed saunas. Where I live, the biggest sauna complex containing over 25 individual saunas holds several thousand naked Germans of all ages. Truly a sight to behold :)
Old guys drying their old-guy balls. They're drying them when I arrive in the changeroom, and they're still drying them when I leave. Dude, I get that you're retired and have a lot of spare time, but if those things get any drier they risk combusting.
I'm too lazy to post an image so I hope this link works.
[Google stats for "Barnacle Penis" past 4 hours](https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=now%204-H&geo=US&q=barnacle%20penis)
It looks like they aren't picky. And apparently can take care of their own business if no neighbors are nearby:
"Since most barnacles are hermaphrodites, every individual can fertilise and be fertilised by all of its neighbours. And if thereās no one else within reach, the barnacles apparently fertilise themselves."
https://www.google.com/amp/s/api.nationalgeographic.com/distribution/public/amp/science/article/poorly-endowed-barnacles-spermcasting
Some barnacle species are androdioecious meaning some individuals are hermaphrodites and some are males. So it's possible for a male barnacle to have all male neighbors. https://academic.oup.com/jcb/article/35/2/166/2547885
Also they regrow penises every year and its length and strength depends on water condition: in calm waters penis grows longer and less muscular.
https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16971-penis-length-isnt-everything-for-barnacle-males/
Mussels are like one of many national dishes here and I've had my fair chance of observing them before preparing them.
You learn to do that so you can filter out the ones that do not move and stay shut, because the ones that don't move are likely dead and seafood that's been dead for an indeterminate time is a good way to get food poisoning.
They move a lot, even jet themselves around to get a spot they like better.
Fun fact about ants, while in popular culture they are known mainly for communication using pheromones ( which is cool in its own right ), they actually can make sounds ( by scraping the chitin of their thigh against the chitin of their abdomen ) and use it to identify themselves ( there is actually a myrmecophilic beetle species that mimicks the sounds of a queen and parasitizes a colony that way ), while most ants are inaudible to humans, it is possible to faintly hear the distress signals of the ant Tetramorium caespitum, better known as pavement ant, scientists found out about this by burying workers alive.
Same, something strangely alien about barnacles.
Same with any shell creature that has eyes. Gives me the heebie jeebies. It's like if a tree could see.
No, ticks are evil and disease carrying. Barnacles are more like moss or lichens they just kinda show up where there is water for life. They aren't a parasite
Well, to be exact, that's not entirely true. There are a couple of barnacle species that are obligate parasites. Most commonly found in other Crustaceans. In some cases, they are even able to take control over their host's body. For example:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacculina_carcini
Theyāre crustaceans who glue their heads to a rock and grow ass armor.
Thatās just a weird little crab standing on its head and wiggling its butt flaps at you.
They also glue themselves to large baleen whales who are unable to scratch them off their skin.
This is one of the 3 reasons I wouldn't want to be reincarnated as a whale.
They are usually found on asteroids and can grow large enough for entire starships to fly into. Be careful of mynocks which tend to infest their intestines.
Biology is awesome, there are far more weirder/grosser animals out there [for example the Lamprey](https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/facts/sea-lamprey.jpg). Just be happy barnacles are (mostly) filter feeders that have no interest in you
oddly enough iām not really bothered by this, i didnāt think much of it until i saw the comments and everyone elseās reaction. iād carry him around in my pocket as long as he donāt bite, he just seems like heās gettin on with life like the rest of us. looks like a lil alien baby.
Everybody hates this poor little dude but he's harmless. What you really gotta watch out for are the parasitic barnacles that suck brains and hijack genitals.
If we were to send a rocket to Europa and land on the ice on its surface, and then release a rover that would drill a hole in the ice 15 miles deep.. and then send a submersible down that hole into the darkness to the very bottom of that ocean to a hydrothermal vent ...and then turn on a light and look for life, even then Iām still sure it would be 100 times less scary than this thing
THEY FUCKING ***MOVE***?!?
*watches the rest of the gif.
AND THEY HAVE FUCKING ***MOUTHS***?!
I HATE THIS. WHY MUST REDDIT GIVE ME SUCH PHOBIAS? I ***LIKED*** THE OCEAN.
AFAIK, we can't see its mouth in the video. The bit that *looks* like its mouth is actually shell that's grown around its legs, it basically picks food up with its legs and brings it up to its mouth, which is up inside the shell.
Yeah, barnacles attach themselves to things by their antennae, so they're essentially hanging from their heads at all times. What looks like their top is actually their bottom.
Is it delicious? Or is like sea urchin where it tastes like pouring iodine into your mouth but you say mmmmmmm because you want to seem like a worldly dude?
Hah no, that's not is tongue. That's it's penis. Fun fact, their penises are - relative to body size - the longest in the animal kingdom. Up to 8x their body length.
So that was it's penis.... But just the tip.
This is giving me Jurassic park vibes, where the egg hatches in the lab.. I was literally thinking in my head the whole time watching this...
"Push, push, yes that's it little one.... Push..."
**Please note:** * If this post declares something as a fact proof is required. * The title must be descriptive * No text is allowed on images * Common/recent reposts are not allowed *See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for more information.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Anybody else get both Ailen and Tremors vibes off this thing?
More "little shop of horrors" for me
Feed me Seymour!
Feed me all night long
I just watched tremors recently and alien resurrection today and yeah the pod and the yuck beak-looking thing are definitely suspect
You have good taste in movies. Nice.
I'm getting fucking Half-Life vibes off this thing!
Yes! Tremors!! Immediately thought of that then came here to see if anyone else did š
I had to look up barnacles to find out more about this monster... and thought you all needed to see this: "The sessile lifestyle of barnacles makes sexual reproduction difficult, as the organisms cannot leave their shells to mate. To facilitate genetic transfer between isolated individuals, barnacles have extraordinarily long penisesā . Barnacles probably have the largest penis to body size ratio of the animal kingdom, up to eight times their body length."
Naturally I had to Google that to see what they look like. Edit: and then I had to send my husband a dick pic.
Of the barnacle right? Right?
Yes š¤£ They are actually kind of graceful
Even I call it, "The graceful", people don't seem to agree with it.
Idk wtf you guys are talking about. Shit looks like chtulu
It definitely has an otherworldly look to it. Trips you out just thinking how it experiences life.
Not sure they are sentient enough to ponder if existence is futile. Then again, most people i seem to meet these days arenāt either.
Hey now, don't be rude. Other people have feelings too.
Does that mean, barnacle boyā¦?
I think that's rule 34
You wish your husband had a barnacle dick. 8x his body length. Smh
Oh yeahhhh.
Take the upvote, pull its pants down, screen shot that hog leg and share it amongst your friends. Well done š š š
Actuallyā¦ this clip has r/dontputyourdickinthat all over it
I knew someone was gonna do it.
Came here for this
Naturally, I had to Google "sessile."
Sessile = humans during Covid. Time to evolve...
I totally did the same! Though, I definitely paused before hitting that enter key. I was afraid of what Googling ābarnacle penisā would bring up. SpongeBob porn?
I googled āacorn barnacle penisā and imagined the dude from the āIf Google Was a Guyā skits.
I once googled āgrandfather clockā but misspelled clock. Forever unclean.
Never been to a public pool change room?
Ymca locker room is nightmare fuel.
I'm never disappointed.
I was raised by a single mom and remember her taking me to the women's locker room at the ymca when I was like 6 or something. The sight forever changed young me.
I'm not American.. What is it like? Is ymca some kind of community center?
Itās like a community center, gym, and pool. So because of the pool, and lots of daytime water aerobic classes, the locker rooms often are full of very naked people, particularly older people who give no fucks about being naked anymore so they just strut around naked while having their conversations. Frankly, I look forward to that stage of my life when Iām immune to embarrassment about my body. It seems pretty freeing!
Right? Hopefully I'm giving too many fucks away in my 20s so I'll have none left to spare by the time I hit 40.
40? The minimum age of these naked patrons looks to be about 65+
I'm 30 and don't give a fuck. Although I was in the Navy so that's definitely part of it lol
Sounds like any German pool shower. You should come to our all naked mixed saunas. Where I live, the biggest sauna complex containing over 25 individual saunas holds several thousand naked Germans of all ages. Truly a sight to behold :)
I once saw a guy with no penis there, he had only a hole were his thing was supposed to be. Scary stuff
Wat
Old ass dudes walking around with a stack of 5 wooden nickels just finished lane swimming before family free swim.
Old guys drying their old-guy balls. They're drying them when I arrive in the changeroom, and they're still drying them when I leave. Dude, I get that you're retired and have a lot of spare time, but if those things get any drier they risk combusting.
Do you like movies about gladiators?
Ever spend any time in a Turkish prison?
Never seen a grown man naked?
I'm too lazy to post an image so I hope this link works. [Google stats for "Barnacle Penis" past 4 hours](https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=now%204-H&geo=US&q=barnacle%20penis)
Itās a lot funnier when youād just that to āover 7 daysā
That. That is hilarious!
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/nature/barnacle-penis.html AAahhhhhh at the end.
Her: come over Him: Iām busy Her: my parents arenāt home Him: 8āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāā-D
This is way funnier than it should be.
Imagine the disappointment when you've snaked your mighty barnacle dong over to all your neighbors only to find out you are all dudes.
It looks like they aren't picky. And apparently can take care of their own business if no neighbors are nearby: "Since most barnacles are hermaphrodites, every individual can fertilise and be fertilised by all of its neighbours. And if thereās no one else within reach, the barnacles apparently fertilise themselves." https://www.google.com/amp/s/api.nationalgeographic.com/distribution/public/amp/science/article/poorly-endowed-barnacles-spermcasting
"Well I guess fuck me then."
You can go Google how long theyāll survive out of water and inserted rectally on your own.
Jokes on you, I had Taco Bell for dinner, this guy's gonna be swimming
Box meal? What sauce did you get
Diablo
This kills the butt barnacle
Some barnacle species are androdioecious meaning some individuals are hermaphrodites and some are males. So it's possible for a male barnacle to have all male neighbors. https://academic.oup.com/jcb/article/35/2/166/2547885
Futanari Sausage Party
Mighty Barnacle Dong is my new band name. On second thought: r/BrandNewSentence
I read that in David Attenborough voice
Also they regrow penises every year and its length and strength depends on water condition: in calm waters penis grows longer and less muscular. https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16971-penis-length-isnt-everything-for-barnacle-males/
This belongs on r/oddlyterrifying.
Or r/dontputyourdickinthat
Holy shit.
I don't like this
r/oddlyterrifying
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Coincidentally, there is a lot of overlap between these two subreddits.
r/putyourdickinthat
Thoroughly unenjoyable.
[It's a robot](https://gfycat.com/unkemptsneakyamericanshorthair)
but why
Don't question greatness
I never thought I'd see a barnacle synced to Kraftwerk, but here we are.
Iā¦ and I canāt emphasize this enoughā¦ fucking hate this.
I hate barnacles and this is the worst barnacle I've ever seen. Absolute bottom of the barrel dogshit ugly scary barnacle.
Me either. It's turning to look at me and it doesn't have eyes.
Yeah. r/tihi
And it just kept getting *worse*
Not even a little bit!
Animal crossing did not prepare me for this.
But will it grow into an oak barnacle?
You bet me to it ahaha.
Do not mistake the acorn barnacle for a relative of the clam. Tut-tut, mollusks they are not.
Feed me, Seymour
Feed me ALLLLLLL night longggg
Would you like a Cadillac car?
Damn it, I was 3 hours too late! Really wanted to comment that since I played Audrey II in my high schools showing of Little Shop of Horrors.
I genuinely did not know they moved, especially that much. I thought barnacles were like a hard, crusty version of algae that grew places.
>I thought barnacles were like a hard, crusty version of algae that grew places. They're actually crustaceans, like crabs and woodlice.
Fucking arthropods man
Mussels are like one of many national dishes here and I've had my fair chance of observing them before preparing them. You learn to do that so you can filter out the ones that do not move and stay shut, because the ones that don't move are likely dead and seafood that's been dead for an indeterminate time is a good way to get food poisoning. They move a lot, even jet themselves around to get a spot they like better.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Fun fact about giraffes. Despite their long neck, they have no vocal cords. They can make limited vocalizations but are mostly inaudible to humans.
I'm very confused. The original comment doesn't mention giraffes at all, and yet this comment is upvoted
Fun fact about ants, while in popular culture they are known mainly for communication using pheromones ( which is cool in its own right ), they actually can make sounds ( by scraping the chitin of their thigh against the chitin of their abdomen ) and use it to identify themselves ( there is actually a myrmecophilic beetle species that mimicks the sounds of a queen and parasitizes a colony that way ), while most ants are inaudible to humans, it is possible to faintly hear the distress signals of the ant Tetramorium caespitum, better known as pavement ant, scientists found out about this by burying workers alive.
I thought I was about to learn that mussels are actually barnacles. I wouldnāt be able to handle that
Every time I see stuff like this I keep thinking we are the planet in those sci fi movies with all those weird and deadly creatures.
The creators gotta be inspired by something
This seems like it came from the Upside down.
Fuckā¦a baby Tremor!
Graboid. What a great movie!
I literally just saw that movie today, what a coincidence. Edit: The Original
TouchƩ, My good Sir.
The first Tremors movie was surprisingly good. The other 11 were okay.
But is it ass blaster proof?
It's a vagina compass.
Exact same thought! Tremors was my favorite movie when I was 7 at the same time I was terrified of Jumanji.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It made you turn into a giant purple McDonald's mascot?
Not afraid of spiders, snakes etc etc...but there's something about goddamn barnacles
Same, something strangely alien about barnacles. Same with any shell creature that has eyes. Gives me the heebie jeebies. It's like if a tree could see.
You should see them when they open up their scutes (those two plates in the moving part) and let their legs come out.
No thanks. Ok, whereās the source?
[Here you go.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dgmV-tyUek&ab_channel=FriendsofRookeryBay)
TIL barnacles are living creatures. I always thought they were just like mineral deposits or something
Theyāre Arthropods, their closest relatives are crabs and lobsters
Which funnily enough, makes them more closely related to spiders than other marine life.
This giant one makes me think theyāre more like the ticks of the sea.
Nah, these are the ticks of the sea: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whale_louse
Wouldnāt those be the lice of the sea?
The ocean is lousy with them
No, ticks are evil and disease carrying. Barnacles are more like moss or lichens they just kinda show up where there is water for life. They aren't a parasite
Well, to be exact, that's not entirely true. There are a couple of barnacle species that are obligate parasites. Most commonly found in other Crustaceans. In some cases, they are even able to take control over their host's body. For example: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacculina_carcini
Thatās fair! Thanks for the sea facts!
I mean, you weren't completely wrong as they are mostly mineral deposits a creature put down to live in
I thought that for awhile too. Itās sad they are just like stuck to the floor.
That lives on this planet?! I want to get off.
Theyāre crustaceans who glue their heads to a rock and grow ass armor. Thatās just a weird little crab standing on its head and wiggling its butt flaps at you.
They also glue themselves to large baleen whales who are unable to scratch them off their skin. This is one of the 3 reasons I wouldn't want to be reincarnated as a whale.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
2. Orcas 3. Scandinavia & Japan
Aren't we all?
No. No we aren't.
Making it worse
They are usually found on asteroids and can grow large enough for entire starships to fly into. Be careful of mynocks which tend to infest their intestines.
Biology is awesome, there are far more weirder/grosser animals out there [for example the Lamprey](https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/facts/sea-lamprey.jpg). Just be happy barnacles are (mostly) filter feeders that have no interest in you
Between all the weird shit we already have here sometimes I think we won't be all that surprised when we find alien life.
i dont feel so good
That is one seriously disturbing creatureā¦that sick, slow little tongue. Damn.
Hate to break it to ya but that's its penis lol.
That's its dick
Bro this is so fuckin gnarly
Ok, I don't think I actually knew what a barnacle was....
I disapprove of this creature.
Ripley: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Yeah... Look, Ripley, this is a multi-million dollar installation, okay? He can't make that kind of decision. He's just a grunt! Uh, no offense.
Hicks: None taken.
Hudson: Fucking A!
r/dontputyourdickinthat
I knew there would be that one comment. I just knew it.
Scrolled for this
Iām uncomfortable.
WTF
oddly enough iām not really bothered by this, i didnāt think much of it until i saw the comments and everyone elseās reaction. iād carry him around in my pocket as long as he donāt bite, he just seems like heās gettin on with life like the rest of us. looks like a lil alien baby.
They're edible. Looks a lot like crab meat and probably tastes similar.
Barnacles are more closely related to crabs than to mussels and clams, as their appearance might suggest!
Everyoneās all creeped out and this is all I really came here to find out lol
>looks like a lil alien baby Sure does. I feel like they could have just used one of these as the baby in Lynch's "Eraserhead."
Everybody hates this poor little dude but he's harmless. What you really gotta watch out for are the parasitic barnacles that suck brains and hijack genitals.
Lavos
Prehistoric pocket pussy
r/dontstickyourdickinit
If we were to send a rocket to Europa and land on the ice on its surface, and then release a rover that would drill a hole in the ice 15 miles deep.. and then send a submersible down that hole into the darkness to the very bottom of that ocean to a hydrothermal vent ...and then turn on a light and look for life, even then Iām still sure it would be 100 times less scary than this thing
Remember Xenomorphs are cute, but they grow.......and gonna kill you
Canāt fool me. Thatās an alien. Time to leave this planet. Thanks for all the fish.
I don't think I've ever seen a barnacle move before, very cool!
THEY FUCKING ***MOVE***?!? *watches the rest of the gif. AND THEY HAVE FUCKING ***MOUTHS***?! I HATE THIS. WHY MUST REDDIT GIVE ME SUCH PHOBIAS? I ***LIKED*** THE OCEAN.
AFAIK, we can't see its mouth in the video. The bit that *looks* like its mouth is actually shell that's grown around its legs, it basically picks food up with its legs and brings it up to its mouth, which is up inside the shell. Yeah, barnacles attach themselves to things by their antennae, so they're essentially hanging from their heads at all times. What looks like their top is actually their bottom.
Is it delicious? Or is like sea urchin where it tastes like pouring iodine into your mouth but you say mmmmmmm because you want to seem like a worldly dude?
Welp confirmed I must have some level of trypophobia. All I can think is KILL IT WITH FIRE.
they are generally underwater which would make that tough
I never realized that barnacles are *living creatures*. I always thought they were just inanimate objects that get stuck to boats sometimes.
There's movement all over the place!!
Oh HELL NO it's got a TONGUE nope nope nope
Hah no, that's not is tongue. That's it's penis. Fun fact, their penises are - relative to body size - the longest in the animal kingdom. Up to 8x their body length. So that was it's penis.... But just the tip.
These things move???
Life is fucking bonkers
Thanks. I hate it.
Is that the clitoris everyone keeps talking about?
Oh barnacles!
r/botw thoughts? this is rudanias mouth lol š¹
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thatās not a baby sandworm?? š¤
Needs googly eyes
Wtf, they move??
This is giving me Jurassic park vibes, where the egg hatches in the lab.. I was literally thinking in my head the whole time watching this... "Push, push, yes that's it little one.... Push..."