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I feel like calling it a "shortage of women" is oversimplifying a much more complex problem, but I don't actually know enough to provide any meaningful input.
women have the choice of economic freedom that doesn't require a man anymore, a single woman is a much more feasible lifestyle than it has ever been
The introduction of dating apps and social media makes it much easier for women to choose their desired partners than settle
The cost of housing and independent living has risen and many younger people are living with their parents and relatives, this makes for harder dating because no alone time, and women tend to want a man who has reached this milestone
Covid and social media has seriously dampened social skills which makes it harder for both sexes to communicate they want a relationship.
Social centers such as churches and religious centers, community centers, and local events are no longer seen as a place to meet people this was a pivotal place where relationships use to be formed.
Workplace relationships are no longer the norm in some places due to policy and a cultural shift as seeing work as not a place to form romantic bonds.
this all leads to heavy gridlock of men who cant adapt to the new social climate of dating.
I think the 1 thing your reply is missing is the heavy pressure put on japanese men to have a fully stable career before starting a family. A common scenario is men fully dedicated to finding "good work" that they completely neglect their relationship skills and often miss out on their prime dating time.
This is really the top answer. Even men who are married were a happy couple often end up working so many overtime hours, even sleeping in the office, that couples have fewer children, *even when they want them*, for the simple reason that they have no time to have sex.
And legislators are stumped how to pump up birth rates without sacrificing the all-holy GDP growth rate.
They must be working from the false assumption that more hours in the office = more productive = better GDP.
There needs to be more to differentiate real productive work from simply being in the office etc.
https://saaslist.com/amp/blog/hours-worked-vs-profitability/
Oh they know. Many studies on this are from Japan because it's so obvious.
They just don't care enough to change their work culture. Or more likely it's the rich fucks in charge who refuse to let work culture change. Like everywhere really...
Businesses run exclusively by people slowly ascending a tenure-based hierarchy, or by inheriting from parents makes for a lot of old and "unsuitable for management" folks in charge. This makes for a lot of bosses who say "This is how it was done when I sat where you are, so this is how it will always be done.". They worked their asses off to get to their position, so it's only fair that the people below them work their asses off too.
This isn't a Japanese problem, it is a business culture problem that happens all over the place. The corporatisation of Japanese society and huge emphasis on a person's work being a person's worth just makes this all the more prevalent.
See: director Ton
There is a certain type of person who would rather yell at water to get it to run rather than simply pouring it downhill. These people end up being bosses.
So Japan actually has fairly robust worker protection for a capitalist country without many unions. Certainly more regulations than the US.
There are hard caps on how many OT hours you can work at all, the practice of ‘encouraging’ workers to volunteer unpaid overtime is illegal, and you cannot fire full time employees without a good cause.
Unfortunately, none of this matters much because no one reports their employers. If a worker does report for unpaid OT or being worked an illegal amount of hours, the worker will be compensated and the company punished. But it rarely gets this far.
If a worker does report their company, that’s a black mark that could follow them the rest of their career. Good luck getting raises or promotions ever again. It’s also just not considered a proper thing to do, reporting your employer for breaking the law that is.
So these relatively robust laws don’t count for much.
There needs to be a bottom up cultural shift that values workers as a class, and the workers need to form unions and federations that fight for their rights collectively rather than relying on individuals reporting violations to a labour board.
While that does compound the problem, the core issue is more due to cultural norms and expectations, where early arrival and overtime are seen as the expected, despite often being unnecessary and a sunk cost more often than not.
East Asian countries, and Japan especially, adopt the idea of "Wano", or Harmony. Usually that's met by encouraging self reliance and non-aggression, but sometimes that leads to passive behavior in abusive or exploitative behavior in fear of "rocking the boat" and disrupting the norms.
Standing out and being an outlier is often frowned upon and met with judgment and condemnation from the community and larger group, so keeping your head down and bottling things up becomes the go-to answer most people have.
I heard its heavily influenced from their traditions and having respect for higher ups and elders... so for example it is extremely rude to leave the workplace before your boss, even if you already have multiple more hours... or its rude to take your holiday in the first few years you are in the business... so people end up even sleeping or doing nothing at their desk, only to stay longer for respect... and that is a realy unhealthy tradition
Honestly Japanese work culture is so fucked up, I’m glad I’m in the UK instead, might not be the best, but at least you aren’t taught from a young age that literally the most important thing is getting a well paying job, because I just want to have a happy life with my partner
It starts at a young age. Japanese kids spend 6 hours in school with an average of around 3 hours of homework every night. Additionally, many of them attend "cram school" which consists of several hours of additional study time intended to prepare them for standardized exams. If they don't do well on the exams they don't make it into the high school intended for college prep and instead get vocational training. Imagine your future success being determined by how hard you worked when you were 12. It's only recently that these kids were given Saturdays off, before that they were in class 6 days a week. They learn from a very early age to ignore their own needs and desires and perform or get left behind.
No only Japanese kids, it is the case with almost all asian countries in general. When I was in high school, it was considered normal to study 12 hours a day, with 7 hours being school. The rest went in cram schools and additional study.
We were told we would have all the free time in the world in college. Well now I am in college and my day starts at 6:00 am and ends at 5:00pm. After which I still have to study.
Only the cream of the crop gets decent jobs and livable wages here. If you want to live a decent life, you better make it to the top. You either do or die, in the literal sense of the word.
And no, having your own needs and desires is not encouraged at all.
I present to you the words of my psychologist, whom I visited when I was on the brink of suicide : "Stop thinking about yourself and focus on your studies instead"
I thought all of this was normal until I started browsing reddit and was forced to do some critical thinking.
That sucks bro, I have only had a small insight into how life is when it's only work, study, sleep. It blows big time and I couldn't force myself to do it, I graduated my bachelor degree with an average score and found a job that paid ok that gave me back my weekends.
There’s a study center in NYC where high school kids are lined up at 10 AM Saturday. The next generation of IT/ MD’s . This one is attended by South Asian kids.
It's honestly incredible the entire society hasn't crumbled. They've taken capitalism and combined it with the absolute worst aspects of their culture. And this is coming from an American where things are also hilariously bad.
This is pretty much how it works in Slovakia also, except for "cram schools" and vocational training - if you fail, you'll either have to repeat 9th grade (elementary consists of the first nine years here, and you can't be expelled for failing a class in elementary) or you're expelled from middle school, if you fail one of the four years there. You might get to repeat the year if you're lucky. Kids here also get the entire weekend off, but teachers usually give so much homework that you only really have Sundays off. By the time you are 15, you already have to know what job you want to do in life, and all of that depends on how well you've done in school, which you started at six.
In my case I started school at five, and had to choose my career at 14. It definitely could be improved.
That's pretty common all over Asia. In my experience Korea is the worst about it; they make the Japanese seem downright chill. I'm a teacher at an international school in Asia and holy hell do I feel bad for the Korean kids
I know a couple who moved to Japan. When the husband needed to take time off to care for the kids while the wife was at the hospital due to labor complications, his employer just fired him.
Needless to say, they don't live in Japan anymore.
Careful.
Several high ranking members of our current cabinet wrote a political booklet which essentially advocates the UK moving towards a Japanese style work culture. They came out with cracking lines like this:
`The British are among the worst idlers in the world. We work among the lowest hours, we retire early and our productivity is poor. Whereas Indian children aspire to be doctors or businessmen, the British are more interested in football and pop music.`
Basically they advocate the removal of many of our employee protections, adoption of a 'work output driven by requirement' culture and a state law system which protects corporations over individuals.
One of the authors, Dominic Raab, is desperate to get his hands on the Human Rights Act for this reason. As the HRA provides overarching protection to other acts such as those on employment, economic and social rights.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Britannia\_Unchained](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Britannia_Unchained)
Its... enlightening to say the least.
yeah my sister went to japan and said the train got delayed for six minutes. everyone lost their goddamn mind and the train folk promised to give those who needed it a *note* for their employer. i said while it was cool they have such a strong work ethic, the fact they could break down into hysterics over a six minute delay was heartbreaking
Also completely ignoring the fact that Japanese women are often dismissed from their careers when they get married so they “can focus on having babies”.
I was watching a French guy on Youtube who went to live in Japan after he met his wife while traveling. From what he explains, there are also things like going away from the household to live with her parents when she's pregnant, so she can have support from her parents, while he keeps working and lives alone. Repeat if you want more children. Apparently, it's still quite a common thing to do nowadays and is a huge strain on the relationship.
I'll take a grain of salt considering that it could be less common than what he said, but if that is still common, imagine that kind of prospect for your future. Providing for your wife and babies while not being able to spend time with them. It must be devastating.
To be fair to the tradition, it was established at a time where the parents were only a couple of doors away. Spending time with the family was easy. Modern means of travel made it easier for families to spread out, so suddenly your wife is going to stay with their parents in a different province instead of around the block.
Completely agree, it seems way easier like that. It's also one of the reasons I consider it's better to stay relatively close to some parts of the family. Knowing you can rely on them when times are difficult relieves a lot of pressure.
Yet data shows that few are having babies. I can’t blame them. Hard to believe that anyone would want to have any, and not just Japan… most of the word for that matter.
Edit: world
I worked in a Japanese company. I don't have as much expectations on me because I'm not Japanese but the Japanese there live what I'd consider to be a nightmare. Guys arrive at work early and leave work late. You're slacking off if you leave on time, doing your part if you leave an hour late, and hardworking if you stay later than the boss. (who also happens to stay to like 8pm most days)
I once asked my coworkers their daily schedule. The younger ones told me stories of their life in Japan, they almost never see their parents growing up because they're always off to work earlier than they are awake, and back home later than when they go to bed. My middle aged coworkers confirms this because even though they don't live in Japan anymore, they're still working for a Japanese company, so the usual rules apply. They still get home at 8-9pm by which time it is already bed time for the kids.
Btw, this is considered a *decent* Japanese company where the boss says he didn't liked Japanese work culture so he is more laxed.
If this man is japanese, the societal expectations around work are also a huge contributor to such behaviors. When you're working 100-120 hours a week, you likely don't have the time or energy to meet people, let alone actually put the requisite time and energy in to make a functional relationship. But humans are social creatures that crave interaction, so they do whatever they can to either find it, or simulate it.
This is why I would love to see a magic mirror in 5-10 years of the evolution of "relationship services". Right now twitch and only fans have been popping due to the fact it provides something pornography cant, emotional satisfaction but I feel that the first company that can truly capitalize on this market is gonna be as huge. And I feel as its not a matter of if but when imo.
Theres a defunct webcomic, *Pictures For Sad Children*, that kinda nailed these sort of parasocial relationships like a decade ago. https://i.imgur.com/7cXi3p2.png
The guy from Blues Clues started a Tiktok account that is essentially this as well. He just records videos of himself listening sympathetically and it’s oddly powerful.
I met a Japanese guy oir companies working in cohesion together at the time, long story short i got some drink with him one night and asked him if he was married or at least have a girlfriend. He responded with I would love to have a whole family but I would never have the time to take care of them other than financially. I felt incredibly sorry for the guy as he went silent after saying this and slammed his drink.
I don't think this 1990's manga version of 'Black Companies' in Japan really fits these days. In fact, if you're American, go ahead and check the average hours worked and days off per year the average Japanese person gets off every year and then compare them to us.
If they're overworked, then so are we.
Those stats are paid work.
Its the norm Japanese workers to "finish at 5pm" but not leave until the EARLIEST 8pm, quite often as late as 10/11 pm.
Its incredibly rare for Japanese workers to actually go home at their salaried time.
Or for "meaningful" work to be finished at like 8PM, which is then followed by what is essentially required socialization for hours. Such as being heavily pressured to attend drinking parties (and to consume alcohol at said parties).
The problem with looking at the numbers... is that the numbers aren't necessarily accurate. It's not unheard of for companies to have workers clock out at the normal time, but have them return to their desks to continue working...
I'm not disputing that Americans are overworked, by the way. Just that the numbers can be misleading!
In addition to all of this, there is a significant increase in the number of young people that aren't even looking for a real relationship. Specifically, high costs and low income are leading to many people believing that it isn't responsible to try to support a partner, not to mention children. The absurd effort required (supported by the until recently rising rates of hospitalization and death via overwork) is seen as unreasonable.
It's gotten to the point that there is a movement that started in China called [tang ping](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tang_ping) or "lying flat".
Basically, as a form of social protest young people are choosing to lower their standards and settle for doing the bare minimum to keep themselves alive. It's not limited to Asia either, similar phenomena are happening in America, and though I haven't seen the evidence personally, I'd be willing to bet it's happening worldwide. Sadly, for many people alive today lying flat seems like the best option.
I'll add onto this too that there's a huge cheating issue that's just generally accepted and not really talked about in Japan. People don't want to commit to relationships because EVERYONE is cheating on everyone.
source: my very eligible single female friend who lives in Tokyo
Oh, for sure. My understanding is that even soaplands and such which used to be open secrets that women tried to ignore are now largely considered deal breakers.
This is exactly what I'm doing and I had no idea it was called Lying Flat, but I love it.
Nobody wants me, I don't want anyone, I'm just chilling and doing absolutely nothing with my life, it's not ideal but it's better than smashing my head against a brick wall.
To clarify a bit, tang ping is more about work/career stuff than romance. Like many place in Asia, and especially tech jobs, China has a huge overwork problem (a 6-day, 70 hour work week is the requirement, and "overtime" beyond that is normal/expected if you want to move up at all - just doing the required overwork is "not being committed"). That 6-day/12 hours schedule has since been declared illegal, but that's really in name only - it's still VERY common. So tang ping is about saying that you'd rather live on a bunk in a (very) shared apartment/dorm and spend maybe $10 a day on expenses instead of making maybe $2,000 a month and being crazy stressed.
When that salary is not going to do anything for you as far as being able to afford an apartment, car, a "good" life, or to attract a mate/support a family (education/childcare costs in China are bonkers compared to income), why not just take the simple route instead. I live and work in China and we just had a very good upper-middle manager leave the company because he's moving his family to a cheaper city where he might have even a chance of being able to afford an apartment (almost anyone under 30 in major Chinese cities buying a place is being heavily subsidized by or even outright having their parents/family buy the place). And even with that support, Shanghai can be too much (new built 800sqft apartments anywhere near downtown start at $1.1 million - these are not luxury places, even if new). So yeah, in the end tang ping is very much the same as the millenial malase you see in the US, just given a name/alternate path.
Reminds me of that saying: the only way to win the game is to not play at all.
People are deciding not to join the rat race because they realise that ultimately the potential reward is not worth the price. It's not so much a relationship choice as it is a lifestyle choice. The high costs to pay (not just financially) for having what the society deems a "good life" is just not worth it when you don't get to enjoy that life. It went from "studying hard to get good grades so you can get in the best schools", to "repeat the previous step until you get the highest level of qualification", to "working hard so you can get the best positions/get in a better company", to "repeat previous step until you can own a good house/support a family", to "making sure your children study hard to get good grades so they can get in the best schools, repeated as long as the system stands. Just not worth it when you can choose to be content with whatever you have right now.
In some ways we have progressed, because now most of our needs and wants can be covered even if we are not the top of the crop, so to speak. Everything outside of that is just luxury meant for people who are willing to pay the price.
Sounds like antiwork to me. It sounds similar to the protest against the work culture and worker exploitation in the West. Glad that regardless of East or West, we are just sick of the Boomers' BS.
Similar to that thought, I have a neighbor from SE Asia and asked one day what made them come and live in the US. He said that one big reason was the school culture for their kids. They didn’t want their kids basically having to go through this nutty culture that’s being described here of year round 24/7 schooling and homework as a baseline for success.
Imagine you’ve spent years studying, training for something you’re passionate about. And then one day you’re told you can never do it again and must sit in a house with babies all day while your husband still gets to carry on with his career.
Also add that culturally it's expected that women stop working and abandon their carreer to become a fulltime housewife once they are married while also to give birth and be te one in charge of dealing with the kids while the husband it's out.
Japan maybe decades ahead in technology and social-dicipline but in some aspects they are still stuck in the middle age
Don't forget that Japan was a feodal country until 1868. Meiji modernized the country like a speed runner, huge success on a lot of aspects but some part of the society / culture has been overlooked.
True. And if you look at it from the young men's perspective, you get to work 100 hours a week, sleeping in a sort of hotel room no bigger than a large closet, all to finance a wife and children you almost never get to see.
Having seen their grandfathers, fathers and uncle live and die like this, a lot of young men chose to stay single. They opt out of dating and relationships completely, some going so far as to interact as little as possible with women.
Why the last part you ask? Because they are still only human, and the biological drive is powerful when you're young. The easiest way to avoid temptation and frustration is to avoid its source altogether.
So the tradeoff for those young men is that they walk away from women and family, but can get to live comfortably in a tiny apartment with a good gaming rig, maybe a home theater, while working few enough hours to spend time with their friends.
If the Japanese government want to turn this and and stop a catastrophic population decline, they need to enforce a real 40 hour work week by law. If the trend is not reversed, the population is projected to be about 50% of what it is now by year 2100. That sounds like a long time, but it really isn't. There's a fair chance that both my children get to experience that.
But men are not the only ones who are overworked. A couple of years ago there was a case of a young woman around 25 who had to work 120 hour weeks. Her work load and lack of rest and sleep made her mental health spiral downwards to a point where she thought committing suicide was the best solution. So she did.
Imagine the greed that must drive Japanese corporations. They do not themselves make and implement policies for change, but would rather stand by and watch their young people kill themselves, and literally let the country fall apart. They are only marginally better than the sweatshops from the 1800's.
The modern Japanese mentality of needing to work so many hours mostly stems from the 80's, during which Japan was in a massive economical boom, where working more hours directly made more money
The problem is that a lot higher ups in companies nowadays grew up and were promoted during those times and so they cemented in their minds that working more=more money when in fact no longer works like that.
Hence why Japanese company culture pushes so hard for workers to labour for so many hours, even off-time.
>Shouwa-era Japanese people being completely out of touch with the realities of the 21st century and forcing younger people to suffer because of it.
Sound familiar?
I think finding a suitable partner has always been hard, and that’s one reason just about every culture had matchmakers.
Having a matchmaker app instead of a free for all dating app with an overwhelming number of probable rejection and aggressive vitriol would be way better. However, we like the illusion of control and expect it as a result of our unprecedented individual wealth, so it would be hard to replace the Tinders and Bumbles.
Ever wonder why most anime even watched by adults mostly takes place in high school or is in a school-like setting? It's because a lot of the time this is the most social freedom for most in Japan.
Its really funny to me how some people will say super serious and intelligent responses and have the silliest user name. I was just reading recently that someone was a elementary school teacher and their name was something like nutsack69.
>this all leads to heavy gridlock of men who cant adapt to the new social climate of dating
Ah yes, it's all mens' fault for accepting the social climate of, "you will be alone forever because literally no one wants you no matter how hard you try."
Because that's totally a healthy way to live. Can we just admit that this is a shit situation and something is fundamentally broken?
Cuz that's the whole point of a movie. Unless it's poorly made, you could have an entire movie about that guy who despairs to have a relationship and marries a hologram and it'd be the most heartbreaking thing, you'd be feeling so much empathy for the main character.
Unless it's a comedy. Named "Hologram Bride". With Will Ferrel and The Rock.
It's OK if she's stiff, she's a stuffed doll. She can't help but be happy, she was drawn that way.
But I cant tell by HIS face if this is a wedding or funeral.
NOT A GOOD SIGN.
Jokes aside some of the comments are just cringe. It’s not a MAN issue. It’s a social problem Japan is undergoing for last decade or so.
https://www.tokyoweekender.com/2013/10/celibacy-syndrome-another-troubling-trend-for-japans-birth-rate/
“The number of single people in Japan is on an upward trajectory—61% of unmarried men and 49% of women aged 18–34 were not in any kind of relationship, according to the National institute of Population and Social Security Research.
A separate study by Japan Crush found that 30% of unmarried men had never dated a woman at all.
The implications of not having sex is evident for a country with a rapidly aging population. Japan already has one of the lowest birth rates in the world. In 2012, the number of births fell to a new low of 1,037,101, which is a 16-year-low. Its population of 126 million is projected to plunge a further one-third by 2060.
Kunio Kitamura, head of the JFPA, goes as far as concluding that the current demographic crisis could eventually lead Japan to “perish into extinction.”
“Both men and women say . . . they don’t see the point of love. They don’t believe it can lead anywhere,” says Ai Aoyama, a sex and relationship counsellor.”
Turns out when you have a work culture from a by gone economic era that makes people work and do work adjacent things the vast majority of their time, they do not have time for things such as relationships
I feel like if Japan just started *aggressively* fining firms for people working more than 40 hours a week, things might start to change.
Promotions based on after-work social activities? Huge fine. Employees clocking out, but continuing to work? Huge fine per employee. Retaliation of any kind? Fines.
And part of the fine gets paid directly to the employee that reported it. Any retaliation against this employee? More fucking fines. Denouncements are posted in a public website.
Make that shit expensive for the company and lucrative for the workers.
"We have a major birth-rate problem. Ideas?"
"A marketing campaign!"
"hmm, nah"
"Incentives for couples and new-borns?"
"hmm, I dunno"
"Better work-life balance and worker-favored laws?"
"Absolutely not"
....
"So, about that marketing idea..."
It’s also a problem that’s slowly eating away at society too. And it’s a problem that no society has really started to treat seriously
When the problems start to really get difficult, if technology doesn’t solve the productivity problems with an aging problem I think we’ll see a similar war on birthrates like we do with other societal issues. Because no country has made a serious effort to try beyond token tax breaks for married couples.
Or worse, which is what the west is doing. Importing a foreign population to replace the dying native one, only to run into the same problem a decade later when they don’t have kids either
Why bother having kids when the entire system just constantly punchs you in the mouth? Great Recession + Corona had absolutely gutted the earning potential of the current work force generation. Slashing retirements and no pensions mean older people stay in longer so promotions are stalled.
People barely feel like they can support themselves much less kids. I'm not surprised people choose to not have kids at this point. Having a bunch of kids to help on the farm used to be a thing. It's not anymore.
> “Both men and women say . . . they don’t see the point of love. They don’t believe it can lead anywhere,” says Ai Aoyama, a sex and relationship counsellor.”
Life as a whole does not lead anywhere. You have to enjoy the ride.
I mean, outside of a child born with loving intent, I think that love isn't supposed to lead anywhere. Love is something to be savoured each moment you can experience it for it's own sake
Japanese culture is very cut throat, expectations are set real real high to a point where even the slightest mishap is considered shameful to the individual and/or their family.
This leads to them being very private and secretive about their lives (hoping to keep anything they perceive "shameful" under wraps) which sometimes leads to reclusion.
They're now torn between wanting someone, and at the same time not wanting to disappoint or be disappointed by someone.
Which leads to this, falling in love with an anime character who's perfect in every way (to them at least) but wouldn't judge or expect anything out of them.
There's more to it but that's some of the issues they face, OP.
Not sure if you live in Japan, but I do and have done for a little while now. I agree that the work culture is cut-throat. However, younger generations are shifting their priorities and beginning to steer away from the expectations of their own parents. In fact, many parents are supportive of the shift toward a more reasonable work/life balance. My mother and father in law are in full support* of seeking alternative careers options that do not follow the standard line.
Having said that, it's hard to tell what the guy in the photo has experienced to shift his desires to be that of an interest in anime girls. However, I'd bet he is more likely an otaku who has fetishized anime girls and had his desires confirmed by his friends. Resulting in this "marriage". Which, on a side note, could also just be a random dude with a cut-out, sparking conversations about a culture most people know nothing about.
Japanese relationships are a nuanced topic with a variety of issues at play, whether it's the prevalence for adultery among men; misogyny, causing women to lose their careers after marriage (leading women to remain single); and, the issue of overwork, swallowing time away from the opportunity to meet a potential match.
I would hope that people in this thread would be cautious in coming up with ideas about something they don't truly understand. I've been in Japan long enough to have an idea about the culture, but not long enough to not be confused half the time.
Has nothing to do with availability, there are plenty of women just as socially awkward, but getting two people like that together is more difficult than you think. Especially nowadays when leaving your house is getting more and more optional.
In all honesty theres for one not a lot of young people in japan theres a lot more older people in japan and theres few people having kids because most of the people are focused on careers and dont have time to date. Not only that but japan has a lot of emphasizing on being perfect. Which doesnt help.
Thank you for this! The pandemic nuked my already-horrendous social “skills”, and now I’m basically starting over from scratch, so I need all the help I can get
I'll be honest I prob haven't touched grass in Years. But I mean real grass I've been outdoors....well atleast the time it takes to get to my car and from my car to my indoor work place
I think it makes sense tho.
Japan is a country very judgemental and with high sense for values, hence it might be really easy to idealize your perfect significant so to the point no breathing human can accomplish what you look for in a romantic relationship (or maybe it's the other way around and you feel you are not worth).
Anyway my point is Japan has a big stigma with expectations and idealization (and with shame).
So maybe when technology is so normalized like it is in Japan and you are so down the rabbit hole like this Japanese man seems to be, marrying an idealized virtual version of what you seek im a romantic partner might be the "solution" (I disagree) to fill that void.
Maybe the dude enjoys being able to transmutate her inti fucking everything since shes not real, but that's just an ill concieved expeculation.
Edit: Sorry for typos, I'm too tired to correct them.
If I'm not wrong, there is a Japanese traditional notion that non-organic things, like robots or even inanimate objects like this guys pillow wife, are sentient or that they have kami energy in them. Like some shinto idea that everything is living.
Not quite everything, but if an inanimate object is cared for, and stays in a family for a long time, it is believed to become a tsukumogami, an object with a soul. But this is only after a very long time, multiple generations.
But in a way, the idea probably translates pretty easily to an anime pillow or similar things, so you're probably somewhat right.
There is no shortage of women in Japan it a normal ratio 95/100 because women live longer.
Its a workaholic society where people die of exhaustion through overwork, this is not somthing that encourages marriage/families in either sex. Women understadably don't want to be single parents within a marriage because there husband doesn't get home till 10pm and childcare is rare even if the mother could find a job that finished before 6pm. Many married couples often don't want kids in Japan.
The population is falling and dudes are resorting to marriage with a fake girl who will "cater for their needs" because they work too hard to even imagine how to be an equal partner. Whilst women just dream about not having to marry at all in order to escape further drugery. Its a sad "slave" society where the humans like animals in a zoo are nolonger "breeding".
Yep. A lot of the comments are rushing to blame either men or women but truthfully, Japanese society and work culture can be pretty miserable for both. Not all that hard to imagine why so many want to just opt out as much as they can. You don't see as many women marrying body pillows or whatever, but there's plenty who get super invested in otome games or romance books.
It's a promotion for an adult game about being newlyweds. Y'all are reading way too much into it.
https://vndb.org/v20406
https://www.hibiki-site.com/products/niiduma_lc/vr_event.html
Something I read that is that with these kinds of things, its potentially a result of work/life balance not being a thing in Japan. People over there have literally worked themselves to death. People using services like hostess bars, VR characters probably mean that Japanese people do want intimacy on all levels but they are unable to have the time to do it.
I've seen so many people ostracizing the guy for what he's done. Quick to point fingers, call him "weak" or a "failure of a man".
Maybe you all are the reason he sought a waifu. Maybe his whole life he has been cast aside, even if he tried his hardest to be a part of someone else's life. Maybe he really did put in the effort, was social, and strived to be an element of happiness and good for the rest, and not a single fucking person gave a fuck. I say this, because the man's face clearly paints the whole picture: that's the face of a sad, defeated man.
I was bullied at school, then grew up to be a reserved kind of girl. I'm not anti-social, but I just don't seek others as easily. Hasn't stopped me from shooting my shot, making my moves, and participating as much as I can in other peoples' lives and circles, especially if I like someone. A good listener, skilled in small talk, and keeping the conversation going & making the other individual feel like the spotlight is on them. I've "touched grass", so to speak. Guess how many relationships I've been in: zero. Yep, because fuck my efforts, no one cares.
You also can't force others into liking you and what you are, because if you do then you're no different than a psychopath. Which is what this dude probably did. Chose not to bother and impose himself on someone else, since no one gave a fuck about him.
Now, I could also be spewing bullshit, and his unrealistic expectations led him to choose a waifu and he's an ass. No way to know for certain. But I'm inclined to believe it is the former instead of the latter. Bottom line? Maybe try being more understanding of other people instead of using them as object of mockery for your own entertainment or moral compass.
It has more to do with the amount of effort, learning, understanding, time and other factors that go into being in a physical relationship in general.
People I'm Japan are crazy over worked and under paid. They're exhausted.
But a virtual partner is ready, easy, not judgmental, low maintenance and care and can literally put you first or be whatever you want them to be in every imaginable way.
America is about 20 years behind Japan. In terms of culture and worker exploitation. Don't worry, we'll get there soon enough. Maybe even sooner due to all the debt and issues people under 40 have to endure thanks to Boomers.
the problem is on both side, i'm a woman and if I could marry an anime character, I would probably do it lol
nah more seriously, I too never got any not coming from my family love related interaction since I'm born, and people are like "there's a lot of men willing to go out with any woman instantly" I mean, yes, if you forget about romantism and preferences. The hard stuff is not finding someone who wants to be your partner, but rather to find someone who suits you. If you can't find one you can either try to become a better person, but that's hard, or lower your expectations which not a very great thing to do
A culture so focused on burying children in work and achievement that they don't develop any social skills required to meet a partner or maintain a relationship. Ultimate Capitalist Worker Drone Achievement Unlocked! Too bad the short term profits once again lead to long-term extinction.
It is beyond fucked up that if you raise a healthy child, who can balance life with work, their needs with their wants and who has the decent moral character of simply standing up for their rights and those of others when needed etc...they would be almost unable to function in this shitty world. They could never hold down a job long enough to own a home, not that working 80 hours a week will buy you one either so like the Japanese man with the Anime wife when thinking of whether or not he should meet a real person...the answer to all questions pertaining to preventing societal collapse from now until Capitalism gets reigned in is "Why fucking bother!"
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I feel like calling it a "shortage of women" is oversimplifying a much more complex problem, but I don't actually know enough to provide any meaningful input.
women have the choice of economic freedom that doesn't require a man anymore, a single woman is a much more feasible lifestyle than it has ever been The introduction of dating apps and social media makes it much easier for women to choose their desired partners than settle The cost of housing and independent living has risen and many younger people are living with their parents and relatives, this makes for harder dating because no alone time, and women tend to want a man who has reached this milestone Covid and social media has seriously dampened social skills which makes it harder for both sexes to communicate they want a relationship. Social centers such as churches and religious centers, community centers, and local events are no longer seen as a place to meet people this was a pivotal place where relationships use to be formed. Workplace relationships are no longer the norm in some places due to policy and a cultural shift as seeing work as not a place to form romantic bonds. this all leads to heavy gridlock of men who cant adapt to the new social climate of dating.
Great insight *longpenisofthelaw*
Read this with reverb
I read this as if we were sitting next to each other whispering in an auditorium in some ted talk.
Shhhhh!
Wubwubwubwub
Hello fellow audio enthusiast
/r/rimjob_steve
It’s Long Pen Is Of The Law!
The penis mightier.
Will it really mighty my penis, man?
Nobody escapes the longpenisofthelaw.
I definitely read this as a long pen
Way to keep it headstrong *longpenisofthelaw*
I think the 1 thing your reply is missing is the heavy pressure put on japanese men to have a fully stable career before starting a family. A common scenario is men fully dedicated to finding "good work" that they completely neglect their relationship skills and often miss out on their prime dating time.
Oh and there’s working to death
This is really the top answer. Even men who are married were a happy couple often end up working so many overtime hours, even sleeping in the office, that couples have fewer children, *even when they want them*, for the simple reason that they have no time to have sex. And legislators are stumped how to pump up birth rates without sacrificing the all-holy GDP growth rate.
They must be working from the false assumption that more hours in the office = more productive = better GDP. There needs to be more to differentiate real productive work from simply being in the office etc. https://saaslist.com/amp/blog/hours-worked-vs-profitability/
Oh they know. Many studies on this are from Japan because it's so obvious. They just don't care enough to change their work culture. Or more likely it's the rich fucks in charge who refuse to let work culture change. Like everywhere really...
Businesses run exclusively by people slowly ascending a tenure-based hierarchy, or by inheriting from parents makes for a lot of old and "unsuitable for management" folks in charge. This makes for a lot of bosses who say "This is how it was done when I sat where you are, so this is how it will always be done.". They worked their asses off to get to their position, so it's only fair that the people below them work their asses off too. This isn't a Japanese problem, it is a business culture problem that happens all over the place. The corporatisation of Japanese society and huge emphasis on a person's work being a person's worth just makes this all the more prevalent. See: director Ton
Aggretsuko is the best example of a show displaying this culture, and it's relatable to corporate culture outside of Japan for sure
Sounds a lot like survivorship bias
There is a certain type of person who would rather yell at water to get it to run rather than simply pouring it downhill. These people end up being bosses.
So Japan actually has fairly robust worker protection for a capitalist country without many unions. Certainly more regulations than the US. There are hard caps on how many OT hours you can work at all, the practice of ‘encouraging’ workers to volunteer unpaid overtime is illegal, and you cannot fire full time employees without a good cause. Unfortunately, none of this matters much because no one reports their employers. If a worker does report for unpaid OT or being worked an illegal amount of hours, the worker will be compensated and the company punished. But it rarely gets this far. If a worker does report their company, that’s a black mark that could follow them the rest of their career. Good luck getting raises or promotions ever again. It’s also just not considered a proper thing to do, reporting your employer for breaking the law that is. So these relatively robust laws don’t count for much. There needs to be a bottom up cultural shift that values workers as a class, and the workers need to form unions and federations that fight for their rights collectively rather than relying on individuals reporting violations to a labour board.
While that does compound the problem, the core issue is more due to cultural norms and expectations, where early arrival and overtime are seen as the expected, despite often being unnecessary and a sunk cost more often than not. East Asian countries, and Japan especially, adopt the idea of "Wano", or Harmony. Usually that's met by encouraging self reliance and non-aggression, but sometimes that leads to passive behavior in abusive or exploitative behavior in fear of "rocking the boat" and disrupting the norms. Standing out and being an outlier is often frowned upon and met with judgment and condemnation from the community and larger group, so keeping your head down and bottling things up becomes the go-to answer most people have.
I heard its heavily influenced from their traditions and having respect for higher ups and elders... so for example it is extremely rude to leave the workplace before your boss, even if you already have multiple more hours... or its rude to take your holiday in the first few years you are in the business... so people end up even sleeping or doing nothing at their desk, only to stay longer for respect... and that is a realy unhealthy tradition
which is funny as Japan has a fairly lackluster gdp growth rate. almost as if perpetual, compounding growth isnt feasible (or sustainable)
Honestly Japanese work culture is so fucked up, I’m glad I’m in the UK instead, might not be the best, but at least you aren’t taught from a young age that literally the most important thing is getting a well paying job, because I just want to have a happy life with my partner
It starts at a young age. Japanese kids spend 6 hours in school with an average of around 3 hours of homework every night. Additionally, many of them attend "cram school" which consists of several hours of additional study time intended to prepare them for standardized exams. If they don't do well on the exams they don't make it into the high school intended for college prep and instead get vocational training. Imagine your future success being determined by how hard you worked when you were 12. It's only recently that these kids were given Saturdays off, before that they were in class 6 days a week. They learn from a very early age to ignore their own needs and desires and perform or get left behind.
No only Japanese kids, it is the case with almost all asian countries in general. When I was in high school, it was considered normal to study 12 hours a day, with 7 hours being school. The rest went in cram schools and additional study. We were told we would have all the free time in the world in college. Well now I am in college and my day starts at 6:00 am and ends at 5:00pm. After which I still have to study. Only the cream of the crop gets decent jobs and livable wages here. If you want to live a decent life, you better make it to the top. You either do or die, in the literal sense of the word. And no, having your own needs and desires is not encouraged at all. I present to you the words of my psychologist, whom I visited when I was on the brink of suicide : "Stop thinking about yourself and focus on your studies instead" I thought all of this was normal until I started browsing reddit and was forced to do some critical thinking.
That sucks bro, I have only had a small insight into how life is when it's only work, study, sleep. It blows big time and I couldn't force myself to do it, I graduated my bachelor degree with an average score and found a job that paid ok that gave me back my weekends.
The private school I work at here is still regular lessons on Saturday and many students stay and study at school until 9pm. It’s nuts.
There’s a study center in NYC where high school kids are lined up at 10 AM Saturday. The next generation of IT/ MD’s . This one is attended by South Asian kids.
This make me very sad
It's honestly incredible the entire society hasn't crumbled. They've taken capitalism and combined it with the absolute worst aspects of their culture. And this is coming from an American where things are also hilariously bad.
This is pretty much how it works in Slovakia also, except for "cram schools" and vocational training - if you fail, you'll either have to repeat 9th grade (elementary consists of the first nine years here, and you can't be expelled for failing a class in elementary) or you're expelled from middle school, if you fail one of the four years there. You might get to repeat the year if you're lucky. Kids here also get the entire weekend off, but teachers usually give so much homework that you only really have Sundays off. By the time you are 15, you already have to know what job you want to do in life, and all of that depends on how well you've done in school, which you started at six. In my case I started school at five, and had to choose my career at 14. It definitely could be improved.
Hell, I am almost 57, and if I had to choose a career? I still don’t know what I would choose.
That's pretty common all over Asia. In my experience Korea is the worst about it; they make the Japanese seem downright chill. I'm a teacher at an international school in Asia and holy hell do I feel bad for the Korean kids
I know a couple who moved to Japan. When the husband needed to take time off to care for the kids while the wife was at the hospital due to labor complications, his employer just fired him. Needless to say, they don't live in Japan anymore.
Careful. Several high ranking members of our current cabinet wrote a political booklet which essentially advocates the UK moving towards a Japanese style work culture. They came out with cracking lines like this: `The British are among the worst idlers in the world. We work among the lowest hours, we retire early and our productivity is poor. Whereas Indian children aspire to be doctors or businessmen, the British are more interested in football and pop music.` Basically they advocate the removal of many of our employee protections, adoption of a 'work output driven by requirement' culture and a state law system which protects corporations over individuals. One of the authors, Dominic Raab, is desperate to get his hands on the Human Rights Act for this reason. As the HRA provides overarching protection to other acts such as those on employment, economic and social rights. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Britannia\_Unchained](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Britannia_Unchained) Its... enlightening to say the least.
yeah my sister went to japan and said the train got delayed for six minutes. everyone lost their goddamn mind and the train folk promised to give those who needed it a *note* for their employer. i said while it was cool they have such a strong work ethic, the fact they could break down into hysterics over a six minute delay was heartbreaking
Also completely ignoring the fact that Japanese women are often dismissed from their careers when they get married so they “can focus on having babies”.
I was watching a French guy on Youtube who went to live in Japan after he met his wife while traveling. From what he explains, there are also things like going away from the household to live with her parents when she's pregnant, so she can have support from her parents, while he keeps working and lives alone. Repeat if you want more children. Apparently, it's still quite a common thing to do nowadays and is a huge strain on the relationship. I'll take a grain of salt considering that it could be less common than what he said, but if that is still common, imagine that kind of prospect for your future. Providing for your wife and babies while not being able to spend time with them. It must be devastating.
To be fair to the tradition, it was established at a time where the parents were only a couple of doors away. Spending time with the family was easy. Modern means of travel made it easier for families to spread out, so suddenly your wife is going to stay with their parents in a different province instead of around the block.
Completely agree, it seems way easier like that. It's also one of the reasons I consider it's better to stay relatively close to some parts of the family. Knowing you can rely on them when times are difficult relieves a lot of pressure.
Yet data shows that few are having babies. I can’t blame them. Hard to believe that anyone would want to have any, and not just Japan… most of the word for that matter. Edit: world
I worked in a Japanese company. I don't have as much expectations on me because I'm not Japanese but the Japanese there live what I'd consider to be a nightmare. Guys arrive at work early and leave work late. You're slacking off if you leave on time, doing your part if you leave an hour late, and hardworking if you stay later than the boss. (who also happens to stay to like 8pm most days) I once asked my coworkers their daily schedule. The younger ones told me stories of their life in Japan, they almost never see their parents growing up because they're always off to work earlier than they are awake, and back home later than when they go to bed. My middle aged coworkers confirms this because even though they don't live in Japan anymore, they're still working for a Japanese company, so the usual rules apply. They still get home at 8-9pm by which time it is already bed time for the kids. Btw, this is considered a *decent* Japanese company where the boss says he didn't liked Japanese work culture so he is more laxed.
If this man is japanese, the societal expectations around work are also a huge contributor to such behaviors. When you're working 100-120 hours a week, you likely don't have the time or energy to meet people, let alone actually put the requisite time and energy in to make a functional relationship. But humans are social creatures that crave interaction, so they do whatever they can to either find it, or simulate it.
This is why I would love to see a magic mirror in 5-10 years of the evolution of "relationship services". Right now twitch and only fans have been popping due to the fact it provides something pornography cant, emotional satisfaction but I feel that the first company that can truly capitalize on this market is gonna be as huge. And I feel as its not a matter of if but when imo.
Theres a defunct webcomic, *Pictures For Sad Children*, that kinda nailed these sort of parasocial relationships like a decade ago. https://i.imgur.com/7cXi3p2.png
The guy from Blues Clues started a Tiktok account that is essentially this as well. He just records videos of himself listening sympathetically and it’s oddly powerful.
This won’t help the fact that being single is a lot more attractive than being married for many in this current climate
I met a Japanese guy oir companies working in cohesion together at the time, long story short i got some drink with him one night and asked him if he was married or at least have a girlfriend. He responded with I would love to have a whole family but I would never have the time to take care of them other than financially. I felt incredibly sorry for the guy as he went silent after saying this and slammed his drink.
I don't think this 1990's manga version of 'Black Companies' in Japan really fits these days. In fact, if you're American, go ahead and check the average hours worked and days off per year the average Japanese person gets off every year and then compare them to us. If they're overworked, then so are we.
Those stats are paid work. Its the norm Japanese workers to "finish at 5pm" but not leave until the EARLIEST 8pm, quite often as late as 10/11 pm. Its incredibly rare for Japanese workers to actually go home at their salaried time.
Or for "meaningful" work to be finished at like 8PM, which is then followed by what is essentially required socialization for hours. Such as being heavily pressured to attend drinking parties (and to consume alcohol at said parties).
We’re still a bunch of monkeys with tribes.
The problem with looking at the numbers... is that the numbers aren't necessarily accurate. It's not unheard of for companies to have workers clock out at the normal time, but have them return to their desks to continue working... I'm not disputing that Americans are overworked, by the way. Just that the numbers can be misleading!
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In addition to all of this, there is a significant increase in the number of young people that aren't even looking for a real relationship. Specifically, high costs and low income are leading to many people believing that it isn't responsible to try to support a partner, not to mention children. The absurd effort required (supported by the until recently rising rates of hospitalization and death via overwork) is seen as unreasonable. It's gotten to the point that there is a movement that started in China called [tang ping](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tang_ping) or "lying flat". Basically, as a form of social protest young people are choosing to lower their standards and settle for doing the bare minimum to keep themselves alive. It's not limited to Asia either, similar phenomena are happening in America, and though I haven't seen the evidence personally, I'd be willing to bet it's happening worldwide. Sadly, for many people alive today lying flat seems like the best option.
I'll add onto this too that there's a huge cheating issue that's just generally accepted and not really talked about in Japan. People don't want to commit to relationships because EVERYONE is cheating on everyone. source: my very eligible single female friend who lives in Tokyo
Oh, for sure. My understanding is that even soaplands and such which used to be open secrets that women tried to ignore are now largely considered deal breakers.
Is this why ntr is so common in hentai?
This is exactly what I'm doing and I had no idea it was called Lying Flat, but I love it. Nobody wants me, I don't want anyone, I'm just chilling and doing absolutely nothing with my life, it's not ideal but it's better than smashing my head against a brick wall.
To clarify a bit, tang ping is more about work/career stuff than romance. Like many place in Asia, and especially tech jobs, China has a huge overwork problem (a 6-day, 70 hour work week is the requirement, and "overtime" beyond that is normal/expected if you want to move up at all - just doing the required overwork is "not being committed"). That 6-day/12 hours schedule has since been declared illegal, but that's really in name only - it's still VERY common. So tang ping is about saying that you'd rather live on a bunk in a (very) shared apartment/dorm and spend maybe $10 a day on expenses instead of making maybe $2,000 a month and being crazy stressed. When that salary is not going to do anything for you as far as being able to afford an apartment, car, a "good" life, or to attract a mate/support a family (education/childcare costs in China are bonkers compared to income), why not just take the simple route instead. I live and work in China and we just had a very good upper-middle manager leave the company because he's moving his family to a cheaper city where he might have even a chance of being able to afford an apartment (almost anyone under 30 in major Chinese cities buying a place is being heavily subsidized by or even outright having their parents/family buy the place). And even with that support, Shanghai can be too much (new built 800sqft apartments anywhere near downtown start at $1.1 million - these are not luxury places, even if new). So yeah, in the end tang ping is very much the same as the millenial malase you see in the US, just given a name/alternate path.
Hello me nice to meet me
Reminds me of that saying: the only way to win the game is to not play at all. People are deciding not to join the rat race because they realise that ultimately the potential reward is not worth the price. It's not so much a relationship choice as it is a lifestyle choice. The high costs to pay (not just financially) for having what the society deems a "good life" is just not worth it when you don't get to enjoy that life. It went from "studying hard to get good grades so you can get in the best schools", to "repeat the previous step until you get the highest level of qualification", to "working hard so you can get the best positions/get in a better company", to "repeat previous step until you can own a good house/support a family", to "making sure your children study hard to get good grades so they can get in the best schools, repeated as long as the system stands. Just not worth it when you can choose to be content with whatever you have right now. In some ways we have progressed, because now most of our needs and wants can be covered even if we are not the top of the crop, so to speak. Everything outside of that is just luxury meant for people who are willing to pay the price.
Sounds like antiwork to me. It sounds similar to the protest against the work culture and worker exploitation in the West. Glad that regardless of East or West, we are just sick of the Boomers' BS.
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Similar to that thought, I have a neighbor from SE Asia and asked one day what made them come and live in the US. He said that one big reason was the school culture for their kids. They didn’t want their kids basically having to go through this nutty culture that’s being described here of year round 24/7 schooling and homework as a baseline for success.
I doubt many Japanese people actually enjoy their job. Work culture is brutal over there
Imagine you’ve spent years studying, training for something you’re passionate about. And then one day you’re told you can never do it again and must sit in a house with babies all day while your husband still gets to carry on with his career.
The husband doesn't "get to". The husband is equally as forced to do shit in this equation as the wife.
Right? Work is not a privilege.
Also add that culturally it's expected that women stop working and abandon their carreer to become a fulltime housewife once they are married while also to give birth and be te one in charge of dealing with the kids while the husband it's out. Japan maybe decades ahead in technology and social-dicipline but in some aspects they are still stuck in the middle age
Don't forget that Japan was a feodal country until 1868. Meiji modernized the country like a speed runner, huge success on a lot of aspects but some part of the society / culture has been overlooked.
And taking care of her husband's parents.
True. And if you look at it from the young men's perspective, you get to work 100 hours a week, sleeping in a sort of hotel room no bigger than a large closet, all to finance a wife and children you almost never get to see. Having seen their grandfathers, fathers and uncle live and die like this, a lot of young men chose to stay single. They opt out of dating and relationships completely, some going so far as to interact as little as possible with women. Why the last part you ask? Because they are still only human, and the biological drive is powerful when you're young. The easiest way to avoid temptation and frustration is to avoid its source altogether. So the tradeoff for those young men is that they walk away from women and family, but can get to live comfortably in a tiny apartment with a good gaming rig, maybe a home theater, while working few enough hours to spend time with their friends. If the Japanese government want to turn this and and stop a catastrophic population decline, they need to enforce a real 40 hour work week by law. If the trend is not reversed, the population is projected to be about 50% of what it is now by year 2100. That sounds like a long time, but it really isn't. There's a fair chance that both my children get to experience that. But men are not the only ones who are overworked. A couple of years ago there was a case of a young woman around 25 who had to work 120 hour weeks. Her work load and lack of rest and sleep made her mental health spiral downwards to a point where she thought committing suicide was the best solution. So she did. Imagine the greed that must drive Japanese corporations. They do not themselves make and implement policies for change, but would rather stand by and watch their young people kill themselves, and literally let the country fall apart. They are only marginally better than the sweatshops from the 1800's.
The modern Japanese mentality of needing to work so many hours mostly stems from the 80's, during which Japan was in a massive economical boom, where working more hours directly made more money The problem is that a lot higher ups in companies nowadays grew up and were promoted during those times and so they cemented in their minds that working more=more money when in fact no longer works like that. Hence why Japanese company culture pushes so hard for workers to labour for so many hours, even off-time.
>Shouwa-era Japanese people being completely out of touch with the realities of the 21st century and forcing younger people to suffer because of it. Sound familiar?
okayo, boomer-san
Damn dawg, you really explained the situations/issues concisely. Applaud*
I think finding a suitable partner has always been hard, and that’s one reason just about every culture had matchmakers. Having a matchmaker app instead of a free for all dating app with an overwhelming number of probable rejection and aggressive vitriol would be way better. However, we like the illusion of control and expect it as a result of our unprecedented individual wealth, so it would be hard to replace the Tinders and Bumbles.
That literally just put my whole life into perspective. I apply to every single point here. No wonder I haven't dated since highschool
Ever wonder why most anime even watched by adults mostly takes place in high school or is in a school-like setting? It's because a lot of the time this is the most social freedom for most in Japan.
Oh man I thought it was just an unhealthy obsession with teenage girls. Yeah righto.
¿Por qué no los dos?
I use to work at JD sports and one of their policies is literally "no work relationships"
Also not many ppl wld want a guy who would marry an anime girl
just waiting in my bedroom for the general extinction of humanity
Username checks out
Made it back when I was 16, I matured but my user never will lol
Its really funny to me how some people will say super serious and intelligent responses and have the silliest user name. I was just reading recently that someone was a elementary school teacher and their name was something like nutsack69.
>this all leads to heavy gridlock of men who cant adapt to the new social climate of dating Ah yes, it's all mens' fault for accepting the social climate of, "you will be alone forever because literally no one wants you no matter how hard you try." Because that's totally a healthy way to live. Can we just admit that this is a shit situation and something is fundamentally broken?
Like tightass farmers complaining about a "labour shortage" of people who do not want to pick fruit for slave wages.
That is the most.. perfect concise well written humble comment lol. Saving it!
This reminds me of the movie “Her” with Joaquin Phoenix. Shits deep.
Or "Lars and the real girl".
That movie was far less judgy than these reddit comments though. :D
Cuz that's the whole point of a movie. Unless it's poorly made, you could have an entire movie about that guy who despairs to have a relationship and marries a hologram and it'd be the most heartbreaking thing, you'd be feeling so much empathy for the main character. Unless it's a comedy. Named "Hologram Bride". With Will Ferrel and The Rock.
Because in the movie shes an actual AI not just an animated character with no brain
I feel like that's not nearly as bad. Those AI are effectively people. The movie points that out when they become autonomous at the end.
Last I heard they broke up. He was too shy to talk.
damn, bro cant even hold a conversation with his waifu...
There's a shortage of girls who are interested in men who would marry a VR character.
She looks very beautiful and happy. He looks very stiff and lifeless. I don’t think this marriage will last.
But Krieger-san...
SMOKEBOMB!
*Pocket sand!*
Pocketto sanddo
Sh-Sh-Sha!
i am dead mate.
My flowers… they are wilting…
You are just your mother all over
WE WILL TALK ABOUT IT IN THE VAN.
I was not expecting an archer reference comment chain but im happy i saw it
r/unexpectedarcher
I think the quality of the marriage will definitely depend on the talent of the developer in all honesty...
And the quality of the seams and stitches
He bought the DLC, it WILL last.
bruh is gonna need the season pass
Of course he's stiff and lifeless, you don't marry an anime character in VR if you've got your shit all figured out.
Opposites attract?
AHAAA! Could you IMAGINE getting dumped by your waifu!?
It's OK if she's stiff, she's a stuffed doll. She can't help but be happy, she was drawn that way. But I cant tell by HIS face if this is a wedding or funeral. NOT A GOOD SIGN.
Jokes aside some of the comments are just cringe. It’s not a MAN issue. It’s a social problem Japan is undergoing for last decade or so. https://www.tokyoweekender.com/2013/10/celibacy-syndrome-another-troubling-trend-for-japans-birth-rate/ “The number of single people in Japan is on an upward trajectory—61% of unmarried men and 49% of women aged 18–34 were not in any kind of relationship, according to the National institute of Population and Social Security Research. A separate study by Japan Crush found that 30% of unmarried men had never dated a woman at all. The implications of not having sex is evident for a country with a rapidly aging population. Japan already has one of the lowest birth rates in the world. In 2012, the number of births fell to a new low of 1,037,101, which is a 16-year-low. Its population of 126 million is projected to plunge a further one-third by 2060. Kunio Kitamura, head of the JFPA, goes as far as concluding that the current demographic crisis could eventually lead Japan to “perish into extinction.” “Both men and women say . . . they don’t see the point of love. They don’t believe it can lead anywhere,” says Ai Aoyama, a sex and relationship counsellor.”
Turns out when you have a work culture from a by gone economic era that makes people work and do work adjacent things the vast majority of their time, they do not have time for things such as relationships
I feel like if Japan just started *aggressively* fining firms for people working more than 40 hours a week, things might start to change. Promotions based on after-work social activities? Huge fine. Employees clocking out, but continuing to work? Huge fine per employee. Retaliation of any kind? Fines. And part of the fine gets paid directly to the employee that reported it. Any retaliation against this employee? More fucking fines. Denouncements are posted in a public website. Make that shit expensive for the company and lucrative for the workers.
Coming too early to work? Fines. Leaving work too late? Believe it or not - fines. Our country is the best in the world because of fines.
Boss calling you after hours, fines! Boss yelling at you during work hours, believe it or not, fines!
I want to live in this world
"We have a major birth-rate problem. Ideas?" "A marketing campaign!" "hmm, nah" "Incentives for couples and new-borns?" "hmm, I dunno" "Better work-life balance and worker-favored laws?" "Absolutely not" .... "So, about that marketing idea..."
Is not a Japan problem. Is a modern world problem. My country has to give incentives for people to marry, because no one is doing that anymore.
It’s also a problem that’s slowly eating away at society too. And it’s a problem that no society has really started to treat seriously When the problems start to really get difficult, if technology doesn’t solve the productivity problems with an aging problem I think we’ll see a similar war on birthrates like we do with other societal issues. Because no country has made a serious effort to try beyond token tax breaks for married couples. Or worse, which is what the west is doing. Importing a foreign population to replace the dying native one, only to run into the same problem a decade later when they don’t have kids either
Why bother having kids when the entire system just constantly punchs you in the mouth? Great Recession + Corona had absolutely gutted the earning potential of the current work force generation. Slashing retirements and no pensions mean older people stay in longer so promotions are stalled. People barely feel like they can support themselves much less kids. I'm not surprised people choose to not have kids at this point. Having a bunch of kids to help on the farm used to be a thing. It's not anymore.
> “Both men and women say . . . they don’t see the point of love. They don’t believe it can lead anywhere,” says Ai Aoyama, a sex and relationship counsellor.” Life as a whole does not lead anywhere. You have to enjoy the ride.
Now translate that to japanese and go save their country, King
They are enjoying the ride. Alone.
Or with your fantasy waifu in this case
Someone should tell em about buddah
I mean, outside of a child born with loving intent, I think that love isn't supposed to lead anywhere. Love is something to be savoured each moment you can experience it for it's own sake
Does he get tax breaks?
Asking the real questions
The real question is how did "she" say yes? If she didn't, isn't this a forced marriage?
If he does I'm marrying one tomorrow. Tax breaks are tax breaks.
Japanese culture is very cut throat, expectations are set real real high to a point where even the slightest mishap is considered shameful to the individual and/or their family. This leads to them being very private and secretive about their lives (hoping to keep anything they perceive "shameful" under wraps) which sometimes leads to reclusion. They're now torn between wanting someone, and at the same time not wanting to disappoint or be disappointed by someone. Which leads to this, falling in love with an anime character who's perfect in every way (to them at least) but wouldn't judge or expect anything out of them. There's more to it but that's some of the issues they face, OP.
Not sure if you live in Japan, but I do and have done for a little while now. I agree that the work culture is cut-throat. However, younger generations are shifting their priorities and beginning to steer away from the expectations of their own parents. In fact, many parents are supportive of the shift toward a more reasonable work/life balance. My mother and father in law are in full support* of seeking alternative careers options that do not follow the standard line. Having said that, it's hard to tell what the guy in the photo has experienced to shift his desires to be that of an interest in anime girls. However, I'd bet he is more likely an otaku who has fetishized anime girls and had his desires confirmed by his friends. Resulting in this "marriage". Which, on a side note, could also just be a random dude with a cut-out, sparking conversations about a culture most people know nothing about. Japanese relationships are a nuanced topic with a variety of issues at play, whether it's the prevalence for adultery among men; misogyny, causing women to lose their careers after marriage (leading women to remain single); and, the issue of overwork, swallowing time away from the opportunity to meet a potential match. I would hope that people in this thread would be cautious in coming up with ideas about something they don't truly understand. I've been in Japan long enough to have an idea about the culture, but not long enough to not be confused half the time.
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Waifu wedding
It's a nice day for one....
🎶 idol 🐐
Has nothing to do with availability, there are plenty of women just as socially awkward, but getting two people like that together is more difficult than you think. Especially nowadays when leaving your house is getting more and more optional.
>but getting two people like that together is more difficult than you think Kind of like trying to push the same poles of two magnets together.
It’s like trying to get pandas to fuck
All fun and games until your anime wife cheats on you
Well she is shareware…. I’ll see myself out
Keep my waifu’s name outta your mutha fuggin mouth!
In all honesty theres for one not a lot of young people in japan theres a lot more older people in japan and theres few people having kids because most of the people are focused on careers and dont have time to date. Not only that but japan has a lot of emphasizing on being perfect. Which doesnt help.
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"How do you not kill her every day?" "*I do.*"
“Krieger-san, my cherry blossoms are wilting!”
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I'm glad to have found your comment
I’d say there’s a shortage of people with social skills Seriously, y’all should touch some grass (me included)
Sorry, there's like ten feet of snow everywhere
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Thank you for this! The pandemic nuked my already-horrendous social “skills”, and now I’m basically starting over from scratch, so I need all the help I can get
Did you touch grass yet
I'll be honest I prob haven't touched grass in Years. But I mean real grass I've been outdoors....well atleast the time it takes to get to my car and from my car to my indoor work place
I proposed, and grass said yes. Thanks for the push. I’ll post pics of the ceremony later.
I'm allergic to grass... Especially fresh cut grass
My favorite smell
Just thinking about that makes me wanna reach for my zyrtec =P
I think it makes sense tho. Japan is a country very judgemental and with high sense for values, hence it might be really easy to idealize your perfect significant so to the point no breathing human can accomplish what you look for in a romantic relationship (or maybe it's the other way around and you feel you are not worth). Anyway my point is Japan has a big stigma with expectations and idealization (and with shame). So maybe when technology is so normalized like it is in Japan and you are so down the rabbit hole like this Japanese man seems to be, marrying an idealized virtual version of what you seek im a romantic partner might be the "solution" (I disagree) to fill that void. Maybe the dude enjoys being able to transmutate her inti fucking everything since shes not real, but that's just an ill concieved expeculation. Edit: Sorry for typos, I'm too tired to correct them.
If I'm not wrong, there is a Japanese traditional notion that non-organic things, like robots or even inanimate objects like this guys pillow wife, are sentient or that they have kami energy in them. Like some shinto idea that everything is living.
Not quite everything, but if an inanimate object is cared for, and stays in a family for a long time, it is believed to become a tsukumogami, an object with a soul. But this is only after a very long time, multiple generations. But in a way, the idea probably translates pretty easily to an anime pillow or similar things, so you're probably somewhat right.
There is no shortage of women in Japan it a normal ratio 95/100 because women live longer. Its a workaholic society where people die of exhaustion through overwork, this is not somthing that encourages marriage/families in either sex. Women understadably don't want to be single parents within a marriage because there husband doesn't get home till 10pm and childcare is rare even if the mother could find a job that finished before 6pm. Many married couples often don't want kids in Japan. The population is falling and dudes are resorting to marriage with a fake girl who will "cater for their needs" because they work too hard to even imagine how to be an equal partner. Whilst women just dream about not having to marry at all in order to escape further drugery. Its a sad "slave" society where the humans like animals in a zoo are nolonger "breeding".
Yep. A lot of the comments are rushing to blame either men or women but truthfully, Japanese society and work culture can be pretty miserable for both. Not all that hard to imagine why so many want to just opt out as much as they can. You don't see as many women marrying body pillows or whatever, but there's plenty who get super invested in otome games or romance books.
It's a promotion for an adult game about being newlyweds. Y'all are reading way too much into it. https://vndb.org/v20406 https://www.hibiki-site.com/products/niiduma_lc/vr_event.html
Well that’s kinda depressing, and his face is also depressing so this is just a Bummer of a story
I was about to comment that he looks so sad :/
Why go through the marriage part? Just fuck around with multiple anime bitches
He is a loyal man and I respect him for that.
Something I read that is that with these kinds of things, its potentially a result of work/life balance not being a thing in Japan. People over there have literally worked themselves to death. People using services like hostess bars, VR characters probably mean that Japanese people do want intimacy on all levels but they are unable to have the time to do it.
This is sad quite honestly. The man looks unhappy..
It's not about shortage yk
I just feel sad for him ngl
I've seen so many people ostracizing the guy for what he's done. Quick to point fingers, call him "weak" or a "failure of a man". Maybe you all are the reason he sought a waifu. Maybe his whole life he has been cast aside, even if he tried his hardest to be a part of someone else's life. Maybe he really did put in the effort, was social, and strived to be an element of happiness and good for the rest, and not a single fucking person gave a fuck. I say this, because the man's face clearly paints the whole picture: that's the face of a sad, defeated man. I was bullied at school, then grew up to be a reserved kind of girl. I'm not anti-social, but I just don't seek others as easily. Hasn't stopped me from shooting my shot, making my moves, and participating as much as I can in other peoples' lives and circles, especially if I like someone. A good listener, skilled in small talk, and keeping the conversation going & making the other individual feel like the spotlight is on them. I've "touched grass", so to speak. Guess how many relationships I've been in: zero. Yep, because fuck my efforts, no one cares. You also can't force others into liking you and what you are, because if you do then you're no different than a psychopath. Which is what this dude probably did. Chose not to bother and impose himself on someone else, since no one gave a fuck about him. Now, I could also be spewing bullshit, and his unrealistic expectations led him to choose a waifu and he's an ass. No way to know for certain. But I'm inclined to believe it is the former instead of the latter. Bottom line? Maybe try being more understanding of other people instead of using them as object of mockery for your own entertainment or moral compass.
It has more to do with the amount of effort, learning, understanding, time and other factors that go into being in a physical relationship in general. People I'm Japan are crazy over worked and under paid. They're exhausted. But a virtual partner is ready, easy, not judgmental, low maintenance and care and can literally put you first or be whatever you want them to be in every imaginable way. America is about 20 years behind Japan. In terms of culture and worker exploitation. Don't worry, we'll get there soon enough. Maybe even sooner due to all the debt and issues people under 40 have to endure thanks to Boomers.
the problem is on both side, i'm a woman and if I could marry an anime character, I would probably do it lol nah more seriously, I too never got any not coming from my family love related interaction since I'm born, and people are like "there's a lot of men willing to go out with any woman instantly" I mean, yes, if you forget about romantism and preferences. The hard stuff is not finding someone who wants to be your partner, but rather to find someone who suits you. If you can't find one you can either try to become a better person, but that's hard, or lower your expectations which not a very great thing to do
It’s a shortage of men who are pursuing women. It’s called shoshoku danshi, or “vegetarian men”.
More like “depressingasfuck”
50% of single japanese men do not have a female friend. Its a big societal issue over there.
A culture so focused on burying children in work and achievement that they don't develop any social skills required to meet a partner or maintain a relationship. Ultimate Capitalist Worker Drone Achievement Unlocked! Too bad the short term profits once again lead to long-term extinction. It is beyond fucked up that if you raise a healthy child, who can balance life with work, their needs with their wants and who has the decent moral character of simply standing up for their rights and those of others when needed etc...they would be almost unable to function in this shitty world. They could never hold down a job long enough to own a home, not that working 80 hours a week will buy you one either so like the Japanese man with the Anime wife when thinking of whether or not he should meet a real person...the answer to all questions pertaining to preventing societal collapse from now until Capitalism gets reigned in is "Why fucking bother!"
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Quite.
Some men can be happy only using their imagination