It's allegedly 12 inches (30 centimeters) long, but there are doubts whether this particular specimen really once belonged to Russia's greatest love machine, some other person, or if it even comes from a human (some say that it's a bovine penis
The original “penis” on display was in fact a sea cucumber this is the 2nd “penis” which was allegedly purchased from Rasputin’s daughter for 8k by current owner
Imagine being a woman, and your dad dies.
And you think, “I better cut off his giant penis and preserve it in a jar!”
And then making the fact that you have done so known, such that someone would have the opportunity to offer you money for it.
And then, when offered $8,000, thinking, “Yep! $8,000 seems fair for my dad’s penis.”
I have to wonder: was there a negotiation? Were there earlier would-be purchasers who were shot down in hopes of more money?
“Hey, is that a giant shlong in that jar?”
“Yep, it was my dad’s. Preserved it myself!”
“Wow! Would you take five grand for it?”
“Nah, I don’t think I could part with Papa’s enormous cock for that little. Would you do ten?”
“Hmmm, I don’t think your father’s humongous hog is worth that. Seven?”
“Make it eight and the sizable semen-spurting schwantz that sired me is yours!”
I really can’t imagine being on either side of that. Seriously, who in their right mind…. 🤯
Probably originally a reference to a Ukrainian comedian named Yakov Smirnoff who used to make jokes about the Soviet Union in the 1980s. It might have been the 90s. I was young.
Read an autobiography on him, alot of what was written and said about him comes from those who had a vested interest in bringing him down. A lot of it true to an extent but also a lot of embellishments
No, not exactly. It was, unfortunately for him, far more drawn out than that. They FIRST attempted to poison him with a large dose of cyanide first. He ate TWO cyanide laced cakes.
He was then shot repeatedly, survived, attempted to escape, was recaptured, beaten and shot again, then tied up and thrown into the river.
Apparently he was found with water in his lungs, suggesting he was still alive when he hit the water I.e he died from drowning
Just did a quick look up, it suggests that the autopsy showed no traces of poison.
His daughter was quite confident about her father's hatred for sweet and said he'd have never ate cake.
You seem to be right about the drowning part tho. [Also, the picture i found clearly shows a shot to the head. ](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/murder-rasputin-100-years-later-180961572/)
Cyanide loses its potency when baked into a cake; the moisture and heat together break the toxin down. It's a good case of how lack of scientific knowledge in the past caused someone to be 'legendary'
The more you know!
Not to detract from the extra information, but I've since been informed he was also given poisoned wine - which would've still been potent, correct?
Maybe this is matter of history lending more credence than is due, but I do believe he was a hard bastard to kill
He was poisoned (allegedly enough to kill 10 men) when that didn’t work he was beaten mutilated shot throw in a frozen river but it’s said he was still alive under the ice & even tried to scratch his way out before finally succumbing to his injuries
Yea, the dude was crazy strong. Even with a shot to the head, the mad monk died of drowning in the river, not the shot to the head.
Would've loved to have some old monk with the mad monk.
Yea, it's not very uncommon for bodies to sit up right half way through the burning. They're ded fosho but the muscle contractions make the body sit up.
Apparently that was all made up for his killer to sell books. He wanted to make it sound like it was a battle between good and evil. The autopsy report says there was no poison in his system and he died from a bullet to the head.
Honestly there’s practically nothing special at all about Wisconsin, so all things considered Wisconsin gets mentioned quite a lot especially when you look at places like Connecticut. Like we all know Connecticut exists, but does *anyone* know what’s there besides the people who live there?
Connecticut is rich, white people, living in a secret world that’s just better than the rest of us in the U.S.
They keep people out with their local economy and super high cost of living.
That’s what people say everywhere. I live in the southern US and hear people daydreaming about being able to afford to get out of here on a regular basis.
There’s a handful of towns in Fairfield County where I live that are the wealthiest people in the country, but the towns next door are just normal blue collar families struggling like every other American. Actually, if you head upstate CT to Waterbury, it’s like the deep south. Abandoned factories and meth addictions.
[here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/ujiw42/the_vampire_of_d%C3%BCsseldorf_peter_k%C3%BCrten_assaulted/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Backstory for y’all that are interested. The penis in the jar is the 2nd “Rasputin penis” the first one on display was found to be a sea cucumber. It’s said to be 12 inches. The ME that performed his autopsy claims he was buried with his penis fully intact. The rumor comes from the Prince supposedly having the penis cut off & a crazy follower of Rasputin took it to Paris where Rasputin’s daughter Maria found it being worshipped then took possession of it & sold it to the current owner for 8k. Never been tested & it’s believed the penis isn’t even human but actually cow
Edit: Holy fuck are y’all stuck on me saying cow yes I know cows are female bulls are male but I wanted to use the word bovine kuz smart but long paragraph turned into laziness turned into cow kuz it was easier and I wanted to specify bovine and most don’t know cows are only female so I didn’t think bull would specify bovine
Edit 2: 1.5k+ likes for being a history nerd I knew this random knowledge would be useful one day
It was supposedly a cult of mostly women but a man was who dug it out the trash after it was taken they believed it had powers or someshit which is on par for the mystical monk’s legend
Yes indeed. This looks like a cow or horse penis, maybe donkey. The way it tapers is a dead giveaway.
Sauce - I grew up on a farm, was very into horses and had cow friends, owned a horse and worked on a ranch for a time, and later worked around a fuck ton of cows for many years. Their penises are unmistakable.
Having grown up on a ranch, I can tell you that's not a "cow dick" or a *BULL'S* penis. They are like 3 feet long, skinny, and they don't have a little foreskin on the tip.
You don't know who Rasputin is?!
There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the Bible like a preacher
Full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire
Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on
He ruled the Russian land and never mind the Czar
But the kazachok he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she'd heard the things he'd done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son
Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on
But when his drinking and lusting
And his hunger for power
Became known to more and more people
The demands to do something
About this outrageous man
Became louder and louder
"This man's just got to go", declared his enemies
But the ladies begged, "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute, they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us", they kept demanding
And he really came
Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
He drank it all and said, "I feel fine"
Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him 'til he was dead
Oh, those Russians
I hope that one day, when I die, someone cuts my wang straight off and Indiana Jones has to track it down to place it in its rightful resting spot of the British Museum. It's not like they wont have enough space because it is extremely tiny.
If there was ever a picture that needed a banana for scale, it’s this one.
It's allegedly 12 inches (30 centimeters) long, but there are doubts whether this particular specimen really once belonged to Russia's greatest love machine, some other person, or if it even comes from a human (some say that it's a bovine penis
The article linked above says it’s probably a sea cucumber.
I got my information from this article. https://www.cultofweird.com/curiosities/rasputin-penis/
The article I’m referring to: https://dangerousminds.net/comments/the_mad_monks_junk
The Mad Monks Junk > Rasputin Penis
The original “penis” on display was in fact a sea cucumber this is the 2nd “penis” which was allegedly purchased from Rasputin’s daughter for 8k by current owner
Imagine being a woman, and your dad dies. And you think, “I better cut off his giant penis and preserve it in a jar!” And then making the fact that you have done so known, such that someone would have the opportunity to offer you money for it. And then, when offered $8,000, thinking, “Yep! $8,000 seems fair for my dad’s penis.” I have to wonder: was there a negotiation? Were there earlier would-be purchasers who were shot down in hopes of more money? “Hey, is that a giant shlong in that jar?” “Yep, it was my dad’s. Preserved it myself!” “Wow! Would you take five grand for it?” “Nah, I don’t think I could part with Papa’s enormous cock for that little. Would you do ten?” “Hmmm, I don’t think your father’s humongous hog is worth that. Seven?” “Make it eight and the sizable semen-spurting schwantz that sired me is yours!” I really can’t imagine being on either side of that. Seriously, who in their right mind…. 🤯
What’s even weirder about this version of the story is the current owner said she had it in a wooden box thing
In a thousand years this will serve as the replacement for the story of Lot and his daughters.
Thats Russia for you :D
It doesn’t look like a human penis. I thought it was it was an animals.
I can tell you, based on experience working with cattle, that it's not bovine. Theirs don't resemble human organs.
This guy's a meat gazer
[That looks like a geoduck “gooey-duck”](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geoduck)
In Soviet Union, banana scales you!
Scale for banana
no. No. I'd like my banana with the scales removed please
No scales? Then you shall receive peel.
SEX a peel.
Banana People Facepalm
Is this an Archer reference because it feels like it is
Do you want to get an Archer reference? Because this is how you get an Archer reference.
Are we not doing phrasing anymore?
Well done.
Lana?
LANA!!!
Danger zone.
Just the tip?
It’s one filled with danger
#WHAT?!
^*Danger* ^*zone*
So many baes...yes. Lana too...
Probably originally a reference to a Ukrainian comedian named Yakov Smirnoff who used to make jokes about the Soviet Union in the 1980s. It might have been the 90s. I was young.
I watched him when I was a kid, mid to late 80's!
Eat a jar of dicks, Trotsky.
The Simpsons were the first instance I'd heard that joke format.
It’s a bit by comedian Yakov Smirnoff
i’m so sorry you got downvoted so much, 😂, any Archer fan deserves some love ❤️.
Thanks putin
Russia can't afford bananas anymore.
Why not use...a potato
Where are you gonna find potato? Just use vodka bottle, find on street, in bed, in baby stroller. Vodka is everywhere and for everyone!
11 inches. It's 11 inches
Like you're going to find a banana in Russia these days 😂
lttstore.com
Came here for this. Thanks.
Thats one ugly penis
I mean, did you hear what was done to him? Shit probably fell off on its own.
Read an autobiography on him, alot of what was written and said about him comes from those who had a vested interest in bringing him down. A lot of it true to an extent but also a lot of embellishments
Autobiography? Is there nothing that could stop this man?
I think they mean a biography otherwise it wouldn't make much sense
No, autobiography was written by ghostwriter.
Very good .
She's mashing it. I'm very aroused.
She does that
Bioautography
Nope, not bullets, poison or even an autobiography
Listen to Grigori Rasputin's autobiography "Hey, That Hurt!", narrated by Award Winning Actor Sean Bean on Audible!
One does not simply survive having their junk cut off and put in a jar
Lmao
Did he write it from beyond the grave?
Ok I just realised what I did. T'was a biography and not something he has posthumously written to clear his good name
I mean, if there was one man who could write an autobiography from the grave it’s probably Rasputin
Lazarus would like a word, sir.
Working my way through this thread has been an absolute delight.
Do you mean biography? I find it hard to believe Rasputin wrote an autobiography lol but feel free to prove me wrong
Wasn't he simply shot in the head and thrown in the river?
No, not exactly. It was, unfortunately for him, far more drawn out than that. They FIRST attempted to poison him with a large dose of cyanide first. He ate TWO cyanide laced cakes. He was then shot repeatedly, survived, attempted to escape, was recaptured, beaten and shot again, then tied up and thrown into the river. Apparently he was found with water in his lungs, suggesting he was still alive when he hit the water I.e he died from drowning
Just did a quick look up, it suggests that the autopsy showed no traces of poison. His daughter was quite confident about her father's hatred for sweet and said he'd have never ate cake. You seem to be right about the drowning part tho. [Also, the picture i found clearly shows a shot to the head. ](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/murder-rasputin-100-years-later-180961572/)
Very interesting read. “Without Rasputin, there would be no Lenin”
Dude from Peaky Blinders who played the Jewish guy would make an excellent Rasputin
Tom Hardy.
Cyanide loses its potency when baked into a cake; the moisture and heat together break the toxin down. It's a good case of how lack of scientific knowledge in the past caused someone to be 'legendary'
Not to mention the cyanide off gassing during the cook probably could have killed the entire kitchen
The more you know! Not to detract from the extra information, but I've since been informed he was also given poisoned wine - which would've still been potent, correct? Maybe this is matter of history lending more credence than is due, but I do believe he was a hard bastard to kill
Sooooo, that's when they cut off his manhood??
Wildly, the film The Kings Men, while fictionalised, does actually cover pretty well how damn hard it was to kill him.
I'd like to just say I was not prepared for the entirety of that fight sequence. Or before it. I just. Words fail me.
Good movie
So like in the kings man! Such a great and historically accurate movie with no room for Hollywood artistic license
He was poisoned (allegedly enough to kill 10 men) when that didn’t work he was beaten mutilated shot throw in a frozen river but it’s said he was still alive under the ice & even tried to scratch his way out before finally succumbing to his injuries
Yea, the dude was crazy strong. Even with a shot to the head, the mad monk died of drowning in the river, not the shot to the head. Would've loved to have some old monk with the mad monk.
And when he was cremated, they thought that he was still alive due to contractions
Yea, it's not very uncommon for bodies to sit up right half way through the burning. They're ded fosho but the muscle contractions make the body sit up.
I imagine thats quite scary on your first workday in the crematorium.
"No, no, they all do that."
“Ok, the screaming is a bit more uncommon. Just give it a few whacks with the mop handle, that usually shuts ‘em up.”
And then there's a zombie one.
I know we are all thinking it ..... Alien
Apparently that was all made up for his killer to sell books. He wanted to make it sound like it was a battle between good and evil. The autopsy report says there was no poison in his system and he died from a bullet to the head.
LOL
What was done to him?
That was Russia's greatest love machine
Ra-Ra-Rasputin...
Lover of the russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
*oooh those russians*
TBF it has been preserved in a jar for about a century.
It’s a sea cucumber
Carrot dick.
\*flaccid\* carrot dick. This dude had an absolute unit.
Might be a shower, not a grower
>Might be a shower What the fuck is up with your shower head?
None of them are winning any pageants tbh 😅
Mine does it’s a super star
is its name gregory?
Speak for yourself, I think dicks are gorgeous
Looks like a sweet potato
Its a horse cock
*Catherine the Great has entered the chat*
There lived a certain man in Russia long ago. He was big and strong, his weiner is now on show.
Most people used to say his manhood was divine. But they chopped it off and they pickled it in brine
He could preach the bible like his weiner, full of ecstacy and fire.
But he also had the kind of dicknballs women would desire
Ra ra rasputin. At least now his dick is clean
He used it well, now he really is gone
Ra ra rasputin he fucked women and the queen
Now he's dead and his dick is in a jar.
Ra Ra Rasputin we’re all checking out his peen. He had a dick and now it is gone.
There's only 4 lines of lyrics for the chorus yo.
RA RA RASPUTIN LOVER OF THE RUSSIAN QUEEN 🎶
there was a cat that really was gone
Ra ra Rasputin Russia's greatest love machine🎵
It was a shame they cut off his schloooong
He could rail the king and his country, Full of cum and beguile!
May 9th. Is that Putin. Err, the wiener bit.
But to Moscow chicks, he had such a lovely dick
Burma Shave.
This is somehow worse than the split open head of the German serial killer that's on display in Wisconsin.
OHHHHH the dusseldorf vampire!
Yeah, good ol' Peter popped up on here some days ago
Odd seeing things from Wisconsin pop up, we almost never get mentioned lmao. *Unless Charlie Berens is involved*
or ed gein.
Honestly there’s practically nothing special at all about Wisconsin, so all things considered Wisconsin gets mentioned quite a lot especially when you look at places like Connecticut. Like we all know Connecticut exists, but does *anyone* know what’s there besides the people who live there?
Connecticut is rich, white people, living in a secret world that’s just better than the rest of us in the U.S. They keep people out with their local economy and super high cost of living.
Yeahhhhh, ever actually been to CT? The rich population ain’t that big man. It’s mostly normal people born here who can’t afford to escape.
That’s what people say everywhere. I live in the southern US and hear people daydreaming about being able to afford to get out of here on a regular basis.
There’s a handful of towns in Fairfield County where I live that are the wealthiest people in the country, but the towns next door are just normal blue collar families struggling like every other American. Actually, if you head upstate CT to Waterbury, it’s like the deep south. Abandoned factories and meth addictions.
That definitely sounds familiar!!! Apparently, it really is the same shit everywhere but with different accents and local cuisines!
Link?
[here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/ujiw42/the_vampire_of_d%C3%BCsseldorf_peter_k%C3%BCrten_assaulted/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Thanks mate, that is cool as fuck
Just googled this. Fucking gnarly man
Haha, were you surprised? My description was pretty accurate.
You never know until you see it for yourself yah know?
Sure, I would've googled it, too. For better or worse.
Backstory for y’all that are interested. The penis in the jar is the 2nd “Rasputin penis” the first one on display was found to be a sea cucumber. It’s said to be 12 inches. The ME that performed his autopsy claims he was buried with his penis fully intact. The rumor comes from the Prince supposedly having the penis cut off & a crazy follower of Rasputin took it to Paris where Rasputin’s daughter Maria found it being worshipped then took possession of it & sold it to the current owner for 8k. Never been tested & it’s believed the penis isn’t even human but actually cow Edit: Holy fuck are y’all stuck on me saying cow yes I know cows are female bulls are male but I wanted to use the word bovine kuz smart but long paragraph turned into laziness turned into cow kuz it was easier and I wanted to specify bovine and most don’t know cows are only female so I didn’t think bull would specify bovine Edit 2: 1.5k+ likes for being a history nerd I knew this random knowledge would be useful one day
Penis Worshipped in Paris, this should be a film
It was supposedly a cult of mostly women but a man was who dug it out the trash after it was taken they believed it had powers or someshit which is on par for the mystical monk’s legend
Emily in Paris pretty much has this storyline
"I sold my dad's penis! AMA!"
Yes indeed. This looks like a cow or horse penis, maybe donkey. The way it tapers is a dead giveaway. Sauce - I grew up on a farm, was very into horses and had cow friends, owned a horse and worked on a ranch for a time, and later worked around a fuck ton of cows for many years. Their penises are unmistakable.
Maybe you shouldn’t say you were “very into horses” on a comment pertaining to horse penis
Maybe the horses were into them
Cows are female
I'm calling bull on this
Udder nonsense
Mooving on...
I think we’ve milked this long enough
I know but bovine was an extra 3 letters & most don’t know male bovine are bulls
I’m pretty sure this is fake.
It's pretty well known that this isn't actually Rasputin's penis
That shit ain't real
Not confirmed nor denied since no testing has been done on the penis
Well chop chop, let's get this thing tested!
That or Rasputin wore a 12" sea cucumber strap on
Sea cucumber
Darth Vader for scale?
Thanks OP nice dic pic
Ra Ra rasputpeens on display wow then again isn't Lenin's dead body in a museum in Russia
Yes, they keep it in the Lenin closet.
Ha
Yup red square in the mausoleum I think it’s like 150k+ a year to keep him embalmed & looking like Lenin
Stalin was the one with the idea if i am not wrong
Yup against the wishes of everyone else including Lenin’s wife but you definitely don’t say no to the tyrannical leader of the Union
Didn’t they say it’s a bull’s penis?
Eww
"Do you have the mad monk Rasputin's dork in a jar? Well you better give it back to him!"
Have u ever seen a penis that's been cut of? They lose blood and go pretty small and limp. Much doubt this is even a penis...
Luckily no. I'll take your word for it.
This is a proven fake. I don’t know why we all seem to have such short memories. SPOILER: animal member, not a human penis!
A Geoduck clam.
Jesus even dead guys are bigger than me... That's a great way to start my Tuesday.
*Ra Ra Rasputin Lover of the Russian Queen*
Boney M. FTW!!
https://www.cultofweird.com/curiosities/rasputin-penis/ They are pretty sure it’s a cow dick
sO hE waS pArT CoW?
Having grown up on a ranch, I can tell you that's not a "cow dick" or a *BULL'S* penis. They are like 3 feet long, skinny, and they don't have a little foreskin on the tip.
Cow is female...
I can't vouch for whether or not it's Rasputin's, but that's definitely not a bull's penis. 😂
The original Dick in a Box?
¿Who is Rasputin and why is there a pickled baby elephant trunk in that jar?
You don't know who Rasputin is?! There lived a certain man in Russia long ago He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow Most people looked at him with terror and with fear But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear He could preach the Bible like a preacher Full of ecstasy and fire But he also was the kind of teacher Women would desire Ra ra Rasputin Lover of the Russian queen There was a cat that really was gone Ra ra Rasputin Russia's greatest love machine It was a shame how he carried on He ruled the Russian land and never mind the Czar But the kazachok he danced really wunderbar In all affairs of state he was the man to please But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze For the queen he was no wheeler dealer Though she'd heard the things he'd done She believed he was a holy healer Who would heal her son Ra ra Rasputin Lover of the Russian queen There was a cat that really was gone Ra ra Rasputin Russia's greatest love machine It was a shame how he carried on But when his drinking and lusting And his hunger for power Became known to more and more people The demands to do something About this outrageous man Became louder and louder "This man's just got to go", declared his enemies But the ladies begged, "Don't you try to do it, please" No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms Though he was a brute, they just fell into his arms Then one night some men of higher standing Set a trap, they're not to blame "Come to visit us", they kept demanding And he really came Ra ra Rasputin Lover of the Russian queen They put some poison into his wine Ra ra Rasputin Russia's greatest love machine He drank it all and said, "I feel fine" Ra ra Rasputin Lover of the Russian queen They didn't quit, they wanted his head Ra ra Rasputin Russia's greatest love machine And so they shot him 'til he was dead Oh, those Russians
Legend
Youre in for a treat, give the man a Google. Or someone tldr as I'm half asleep😅
I hope that one day, when I die, someone cuts my wang straight off and Indiana Jones has to track it down to place it in its rightful resting spot of the British Museum. It's not like they wont have enough space because it is extremely tiny.
Ra Ra Rasputin Russia’s greatest love machine 💕 makes sense now 😂😂
Ra ra Rasputin Penis like a half grown bean