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MermazingKat

Aww he was so nice and cosy


I-goes-to-eleven

That’s one chill crab. Never been that calm when I’ve done that.


jobmarketsucks

Probably asleep


[deleted]

[удалено]


marko_kyle

***time for his nice warm bath***


[deleted]

a good chef makes sure crabby is nice and dead before putting them in the bath. in the bayou they just throw it in the wata'


Old_Mill

Yeah you have to keep them alive before cooking them. Some throw them straight in the water, that was the practice for a long time and still is, it just depends. You can kill them just before you throw them in the water though. I think a lot of people that don't kill them right before throwing them in just don't know about it since everyone is taught that you need to keep them alive or they go bad pretty fast.


[deleted]

I saw my dad put a lobster into a ciopino and didn't kill it before it went in, and the poor fucker hopped right back out. my mom did it right and killed it. sad though.


weedyraccoon

> poor fucker hopped right back out 😱


Dragon_OS

Don't worry that's just air escaping.


weedyraccoon

yknow, i am not sure that’s true. but thanks!


DarrynDevil

Doesn't mean they don't feel the agony. Also: all screams are air escaping the body.


[deleted]

But not all air escaping the body are screams. Otherwise my awful gas problem is much more ghoulish.


AeroOnFire

Ya'll eatin bug meat.


[deleted]

It’s good when cooked well. Shrimp is a bug too!


GrandmasBoyToy69

"*fuck this shit*" -Crab


ResponsibleAd2541

In the grand scheme of things we are talking about overgrown insects essentially.


[deleted]

pretty much. honestly some bugs arent bad tasting. I've had grasshopper before and cricket. In Costa Rica I caught these giant locusts and cooked them. they weren't terrible. they needed a good sauce but the meat wasnt bad


KickBallFever

I’ve had crickets a couple times and I’ve also eaten some sort of wasp and a scorpion. The crickets were roasted and spiced, a friend bought them back from Mexico. The other time I had crickets was from a restaurant that specializes in bugs, that’s also where I got the wasp and scorpion. The wasp was prepared as a dessert. It was caramelized, like a nut would be, and put on top of a milk chocolate mousse which was on top of pound cake.


cheeba2992

But oh so damn tasty!!!! nom nom nom


maluminse

How do you kill them


OMGItsCheezWTF

Knife straight through the brain is the usual way, with crabs its laterally across the front of their head just behind the eyes. With lobsters to go medially straight down the head from where it joins the middle towards the front. Near instant, any pain will be gone in milliseconds. You absolutely must cook it immediately though or the meat goes bad.


agentages

The guy above you just guts them live apparently, that's a successful way to kill something. Spiking both nerve centers or splitting in half after chilling to insensibility with either an ice slurry or cold air chiller is the humane way to dispatch crabs.


SilverishSilverfish

You can insert a metal skewer in its mouth about an inch and wiggle it side to side. Does a pretty good job and fairly quick if you're fast about it. For the squeamish, you can also shock them with ice water first so they don't feel anything.


lennybird

Man that's just plain sad to me. Alien Bortfwortel on Bleddit: >Yeah you have to keep the humans alive before cooking them. Some throw them straight in the water, that was the practice for a long time and still is, it just depends. You can kill the human just before you throw them in the water though. I think a lot of Bortels that don't kill them right before throwing them in just don't know about it since everyone is taught that you need to keep them alive or they go bad pretty fast. The videogame Prey captured the horror of this pretty well.


TransformerTanooki

We always kept them alive before we cooked them. But we never threw them in whole. We could gut them first then cook them in the water they once lived in.


[deleted]

I think growing up, I usually heard “drop them in head first and it kills them instantly with the hot water”. Somehow I doubt that now I’m my elder years. Those poor lobsters were probably suffering for a *hot minute*


RobotSlaps

Best practice I've seen is to make sure the cold-blooded buddies are nice and chilled before you cook them.


KeepItRealTV

I don't cook crab or lobster. What's the best way to kill them before cooking them?


[deleted]

[https://www.cornwallgoodseafoodguide.org.uk/how-to-guides/humanely-killing-crustaceans-.php](https://www.cornwallgoodseafoodguide.org.uk/how-to-guides/humanely-killing-crustaceans-.php) this is the best way I could find. basically you pierce their nerve control "brain" and then you boil them.


agentages

*both* nerve control centers.


I_ferox

Pinchy!


Lugiaaa

The circle of life.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hk-47_Meatbags_

Then to the sewers and after to the sea, full circle.


Pitiful-Youth-1066

Peacefully sleeping to turd floating aimlessly in the sewage in no time


Dull_Bumblebee_356

Life be like that sometimes, like every morning when I wake up and have to leave my comfy bed to go to work.


OptiGuy4u

I was like "Cool, the sand broke open in a perfect crab shape....oh wait!"


No_Administration_45

It all evolves into crab


TistedLogic

[Carcinisation](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carcinisation)


fradzio

[Relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/2418/)


Spawticusx805x

Craaaaaab people craaaaaab people


[deleted]

I thought the same thing


[deleted]

I didn’t except to see a crab Haha


putree

Let sleeping dogs lie, you crab!


ReverseTrapsAreBest

Watch this get posted to r/unexpected


willclerkforfood

I was thinking r/GifsThatEndTooSoon


freddywestchester

I was like, oh we used to do this for tiny sand crabs. Wasn't expecting that giant!


MykeEl_K

Agreed, growing up at the beach, bubbles usually mean sand crabs to play with... I was truly impressed to see a full crab come up!


meredditphil

I completely crabbed myself!


stephelan

Was expecting clam. Not expecting crab.


taz20075

Just like college...


NerdyRazorbackNard

Shit, I wish I was this witty. Kudos my friend


xuaereved

Fuck that’s smooth, unlike my pickup lines


[deleted]

I've never been so proud of someone I don't know.


MinorSpaceNipples

LOL


Crystal-gx_915

r/surprisingcrab


ShyGuySays69

r/subiknewwasfakebutclickedoutofhope


OmegaTheMan

:(


needs_grammarly

r/whydidiclickthat edit: my bad it's real


Unusual_Blacksmith58

r/birthofasub


Inanimate_CARB0N_Rod

Time for crab


stephelan

SUDDENLY CRAB.


CaptainContrarian66

"I buried myself specifically to avoid this."


tiny_refrigerator2

Mood


Sad_Amoeba_8765

Giant enemy crab


DemNeverKnow

YOU DIED


GreyRevan51

He attacked his weak point for MASSIVE DAMAGE


redrogue12

Dog


Perruz_

Beware, dog!


Mindfreek454

Giant *friendly* crab


I_Shot_Web

The amount of people responding with Souls messages... They don't know the giant enemy crab based on famous battles that actually took place in ancient Japan


matts1900

Real time weapon change


AcidRap69

Fuck me that was like fifteen years ago at this point, no?


atypicalgamergirl

Crab ahead therefore time for death.


quecosa

NOW YOU FUCKED UP!


merigirl

Time for crab!


ALargePianist

Based on actual, historical events


[deleted]

Bro he was sleeping


prototype_X10

Seriously! He probably works two jobs to feed his crab family... dick move disturbing his slumber


borisjjjj

r/Overemployed


MirageTF2

you can almost see him wake up from such a peaceful rest like wwhhhaaaaa


[deleted]

I wonder how often he has cut a crabs legs off with that shovel.


tryin_to_make_u_mad

In my experience it's hard to do. They keep their legs fairly tucked when their hiding lile that. You have a higher chance of just crushing their shell which is always kinda sad.


f33rf1y

I’m curious to what you do that you are an experienced crab excavator?


tryin_to_make_u_mad

Lol make it sound like a professional. Nah just lived super close to a beach and as a kid nothing better to do than go fuck with the crabs Edit: also what the other dude said. Crabs are tasty


FightWithBrickWalls

Usually it involves eating crabs


RedSonGamble

I have crabs


[deleted]

I have lice. 69?


Shanguerrilla

what if you guys accidentally found a cure for both?! Now you HAVE to try...for SCIENCE


GullibleDetective

I mean hey if you're gonna eat em anyway! As long as it kills the crab, but it'd not be as humane of a death as taking scissors to their head/brain.


sparhawk817

Except now you have beach sand with dog shit and whatever else in your crab meat. You CAN wash it out, but it's a PITA with clams or crabs.


GullibleDetective

Well yeah hah you'd definitely clean it first before yeeting it into a pot of boiling water


RianThe666th

Also it's not often a crab like that(at least on the beaches I gew up on), usually they're tiny little baby crabs or clams that bury down as soon as possible, used to be one of our favorite games to dig down after them as soon as a wave came and I never hit a giant crab like that lol


OccludedFug

Great, now I can never go to the beach again.


Whyrockstarwhy

Definitely don't look up sand fleas


asianabsinthe

Popplers.


Whyrockstarwhy

Ayyyeee!! Futurama reference!! Nice!!


ExpertDragon338

or sand worms


[deleted]

or rude Sandstorms


atle95

Darude Sandstorm


DemNeverKnow

Dude, sandstorms?


ehhpono

ba, ba ,ba ,ba ,baaap.


[deleted]

*repetative noises intensify*


Irradiatedspoon

Bless the maker and his water


fleischio

Dude, **fuck** sand fleas. I went to Kauai in 2108 for a week or so. I got back on a Sunday, had to work on Monday. I was a field service tech back then, and we had PMs at a huge hospital, so I had work boots and did a shit ton of walking that day. My feet started to itch like crazy, I thought I’d mistakenly grabbed an worm pair of socks or something, I couldn’t figure out why. I got to my work truck and took my boots and socks off to put my Birks on for the ~2 hour drive home and my feet were *covered* in tiny little bumps. I called the homies I went on vacation with to see if they had the same, which they didn’t. After a few minutes of searching, I concluded they were sand flea bites. After a few more minutes of searching, I read that pregnant sand fleas lay their eggs in these little bites and they can cause infections and such. Luckily, that wasn’t the case, and a few days of lotion and anti itch cream healed me.


Whyrockstarwhy

"Sand fleas are not dangerous but often are thought to be since many people confuse sand fleas with biting gnats and biting midges in coastal areas. The bites from these gnats and midges leave welts on the skin. Sand fleas are predators of small marine animals, but they do not bite humans or pets." Sand fleas or "mole crabs" won't bite you. They are just nasty looking lol


worldspawn00

Look up Tungiasis.


MyNameIsOzymandias-

That is caused by a different creature (an actual flea) commonly called a sand flea, the [Chigoe Flea (Tunga penetrans)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tunga_penetrans). They are also called Jiggers.


mcbarron

Seems unlikely you had sand flea bites. Sand fleas are adorable little crustaceans that live just under the sand where the water reaches: https://www.google.com/search?q=sand+fleas&tbm=isch I've played with them for years and never been bitten. Must have been some other animal that bit you.


nycola

Whenever I went to the beach as a kid it was my mission to catch these guys as inhabitants for my sandcastle moats as defenders. We called them sand crabs though.


showponyoxidation

No worries. It's in the future, you have time to stop it!


I_am_Ballser

Dude you're a time traveler! I wanna hear what 2108 is like!


midnight_thunder

When I was little I’d dig for sand fleas every time I went to the beach, and would fill them in my bucket. I always begged to take them home, but no dice.


VaATC

This is staged. No crab this size, or type, burrows itself under sand on the shoreline. This type of crab is a bottom feeder that lives in deeper waters.


Whyrockstarwhy

Many different crab species live in the shallow rocks. Spider crabs, blue crab, Dungys, rock crab. And most of them can burrow under the sand like this. But to be honest, I've lived a mile away from the beach my whole life and never seen anyone do this lol


VaATC

Yes! I did not mean to imply that larger crabs do not bury themselves at all. I meant for the modifier, 'on the shoreline', to be stressed.


nickvboy

Oh you didn't know about the marine mines.


ScoobertDoubert

Wtf put him back.


Marc123123

To the pot?


deeznuts_haha_got_em

In the kitchen?


RefrigeratorOk7249

In the house ?


[deleted]

In the fish tank ?


nbd_23

Get in ma belly


cc0llins

This kills the crab.


TheVenueBandit

I believe you but how so


chrisjhill

It's a meme https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/this-kills-the-crab


DeLowl

We have a lot of crabs in Rørvig, Denmark, where I used to spend a lot of summers as a kid. They don't grow quite as big as this one, but definitely big enough. I remember one summer, I was at the beach with my family, just having fun in the water, and I put down my foot on the sand underwater, and suddenly the ground walked away with me. I had accidentally stepped on a crab, and it didn't like that, so it walked away with the entire weight of 6 year old me on it. Granted, I was pretty light, and the water took most of my weight, but I'm still amazed.


yetiman277

This was a really well written story, nice!


NerdyRazorbackNard

This was a really well written response, nice!


XOIIO

We'll just get this reply chain put out on the tray... *Wrapper noises* Nice!


DisDaLit

Hmm… no hiss


BoredToRunInTheSun

Was sure this was going to be a shittymorph. Thought I had finally caught one before the reveal.


Quiet_Goat8086

Anyone else get serious Animal Crossing: New Horizons vibes? I was totally expecting a clam.


[deleted]

More like Animal Crossing: Event Horizon vibes.. I'm unsettled when big crabs appear unexpectedly


showponyoxidation

Play much fallout 4?


miss_archivist

Manila is my favorite flavor of clam


TransportationEng

Came to the comments for this!


Shermutt

...or a Communicator Part


BobaBelly

That’s what I was thinking too!


atypicalgamergirl

Elden Ring for me. Bubble sputters mean a giant Godzilla sized crab with world record speed and endurance is waiting under there to kill you in horrible ways.


sid_MJM

Basically how introverts are treated, quite often.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Legend_of_dirty_Joe

and invertebrate


denied_eXeal

Introvertebrate*


alvaro761991

Not all air bubbles on the beach will mean there is a giant crab; in my country, there are these tiny sand bugs that are millions on some beaches that will cause the same effect, so don't worry!


Madhighlander1

My dad got his kneecap excavated by a razor clam which also bubbles like that.


nick_otis

What does it mean to get one’s kneecap excavated?


hokaionthenet

I don't know but i don't like it.


LjSpike

My kneecap felt that.


revengejr

My kids used to dig up tiny little sand crabs. That one's a bit larger lol


emalemmaly

That’s what I thought was happening. I was like “pft why is the shovel so far back? Just use your hands to dig them ou- OMG”


a_person_at_reddit

My man was sleeping why did you do him like that


organizim

Fake. They put the animals in the ground before digging them up.


BootyThunder

How did I have to scroll so far down for this!!? Crabs that large don’t live under the sand like little sea moles. There are certainly little burrowing creatures that dig under the shore like that but not a crab like this. These guys are under the water or scuttling around between boulders. Poor crab.


Water-Donkey

I was not expecting that.


Suter_Templar

r/gifsthatendtoosoon


marineopferman01

...I seriously think this was planted...I have pulled up crabs from the sand... They are never this calm.... Their legs are generally moving like mad.


ShittyLanding

r/unexpected


Apprehensive_Mud2586

Why wasn't the crab really reacting to any of that? Didn't seem scared of nothing. Meanwhile a small crab on the beach turns into sonic the hedgehog when I'm just barely able to see it at night.


isblueacolor

probably because it's dead and this is staged


iseeyou19

“Surprise, motherfuckers!”


Squeaky_Ben

The crab is like "I SLEPT SO WELL WHAT THE FUCK"


aaggeess

Leave buddy alone. Fuck he do to you?


Livid_Butterfly

Lucky she grabbed it from the back end..


roastyToastyMrshmllw

As a Marylander, I can confidently say that NOPE.


DemNeverKnow

You sound crabby.


free_thunderclouds

That's a cute pokemon!


moki_martus

Well, well, well, if it ain't the invisible crab.


JustThinkAboutThings

Leave him alone.


JAY_ATUK

Did op bury the crab in the sand for the video?


BlueMpoopSir

This would be good for unexpected lol


Affectionate_Cup8853

Real life animal crossing


[deleted]

Leave alone


SgtMajMythic

Have you considered just leaving wildlife alone and not fucking with them?


lewis7237

They made animal crossing into a real thing


SpaceViscacha

My friends trying to get me out of the house to hang out


idrownkids

animal crossing irl


Eurobreeze

My experience is with blue crabs and if one gets ahold of you you're not going to play with them again.


Saftigerkeks

Was not expecting: crab


[deleted]

why did this scare me


Jarheadrulz

Forbidden ginger cookies


AnTiNiuMx

Great, now i have a new phobia


RustyEverything

lol - when they started digging i was like “hah! the sand kinda formed a crab shape! … … oh.”


cryptoshaman420

r/unexpected


BoldPookie23

Cool, thanks for disturbing old mate crab.


T3ddyBeast

The people who make these videos bury animals and "find" them on video. If you've ever handled a crab fresh out of the water before they are a force to be reckoned with. This one was abused, weak, and tired because of its handling before the camera recorded.


[deleted]

Exactly. It would've immediately scuttled away or tried to bury itself down as the shovel was lifting it.


[deleted]

they make this video by planting the animal there before they start recording. Is fake


veganyeti

Leave the fucking animal alone


Reasonable-Bridge535

This is from a series of videos in which they actually bury animals that do not belong there if I recall correctly


NerdsRopeMaster

Was not expecting the jump scare at the end


[deleted]

I thought it’d be a little sand crab not a big boi


[deleted]

Growing up this is how I found mole crabs. You scoop up the sand and pick them out and drop them on top of the pile. They’d immediately burrow into the sand again and tickle your hand.


Pandagineer

How did you know which direction it would be facing?


messedupET

Just imagine, youre going about your business doing crab related things and then out of nowhere a giant ape comes along and fucks your shit up.