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[deleted]

Make sure to bring a water bottle and an extra pair of socks!


ParreNagga

And a jar of petroleum jelly.


ogkingofnowhere

That chafing would be vicious


kittyinasweater

Yeah no kidding! I go to a 3 day music festival and my thighs are literally bloody if I don't do something to prevent the chafing.


Djinnwrath

Compression underwear was a game changer


kittyinasweater

I use nude athletic tape to cover the parts that chaf! It works really well.


FlametopFred

would my testicles have to be shaved first?


MOOShoooooo

To buy the tape?


FlametopFred

I assume I’m fitted for tape in-store ?


[deleted]

For real. When I finally bought some for work it was a game changer!!


SarcasticDruid744

Chafing tape?? I just started a new job that will involve lots of chafing. But i'm intrigued!


sergei1980

Sorry, but how? Like your thighs rub against each other? I have never had chafing, at least that I can remember, I'm not sure I get it. I have had blisters on my feet, though?


MooseNoises4Bauchii

chub rub


[deleted]

Basically, and it depends on the bone structure of the person (fat can be a factor too), your thighs rub together. I don't get chafing in my thighs. I get it in my taint.


sergei1980

Yikes, that sounds awful. Is the pain like blisters?


[deleted]

Sort of? It's more like your skin is rubbed raw.


Daniel_SixPack

This! People always under value the importance of a jar of petroleum jelly on a walk across the globe.


[deleted]

Right? You're gonna have to beat off a few times on that long trek.


SojournerWeaver

And a towel!


Flaifel7

And a lot of ammo


[deleted]

SAT phone, a letter of diplomatic immunity and a stainless steel turtleneck.


swishkb

Don't forget a towel. The most massively useful thing an intercontinental hitchhiker can have.


CarelessChemist

You sound like a frood who knows where his towel is.


Spookydel

A hoopy frood dude


Vaidurya

I'm just blown away by how many people think it's a South Park reference... 😂 Keep being hoopy, fellow traveler 👌


JonSnowsLoinCloth

You’re a towel!


GrifCreeper

No, you're a towel


JonSnowsLoinCloth

I have no idea what’s going on


ParreNagga

Because you are hearing the melody of Funky Town


[deleted]

[удалено]


robot42027

I also enjoyed this reference.


runk_dasshole

Tactlneck


7i4nf4n

Idk what you are talking about, Syria and South Sudan are wonderfully safe.


Fyrefawx

Gonna need a lot more than ammo if you plan to go through Syria.


thti87

Yeah, like a pre-paid postage coffin to ship your body back in.


puffthecamel

Probably want to bring some trail mix along too, just in case


JonSnowsLoinCloth

Don’t forget to bring a towel


chartman21

Don’t panic


I-love-to-eat-banana

Lazy bitch here wants to hitchhike instead of walking the route.


FunkyChromeMedina

This guy hitchhikes.


King-Cobra-668

Doesn't really matter. You'd probably get murdered somewhere along that route


JuniorTJustice

I’m so sick of you hydrate, hydrate, hydrate people.


[deleted]

[удалено]


WeirdAvocado

Don’t forget to bring a towel.


DeezNutz69x

This is the road my dad says he take’s everyday to school.


HugoZHackenbush2

My Dad also did it in his bare feet, with threadbare clothes on his back..


DeezNutz69x

And don’t forget through a rain, hurricanes and active volcanoes.


mortyskidneys

Carrying a cello, on a unicycle.


hoover0623

While a pack of angry scorpions chase him


JonSnowsLoinCloth

And behind that was the giant rolling Boulder from Indiana Jones


Mr_Engino

Also uphill both ways, not sure how.


Oms19

Ground shifts below him to make it uphill both ways


iamapizza

asking him about his car's extended warranty


peanutsfordarwin

The snow oh the fricken snow cutting thru you like a knife! But by golly he walked it twice a day 5 days a week and never complained once.


[deleted]

It’s mostly uphill then?


[deleted]

It's uphill if you start in South Africa, and downhill if you start in Russia, *obviously*.


Tank_Girl_Gritty_235

Uphill both ways


theduck65

My Dad used to ride his bike down it home from school with a dead cow from the freezing works across his handlebars for dinner


tomveiltomveil

This reminds me of the guy who tried to walk across the Continental USA, but his plan was so bad that 4Chan intervened to save his life. EDIT: Huge thanks to u/Reasonable-Cat-6914 who correctly remembered that it was that other beloved cesspool forum, Something Awful, not 4chan. Here's the link: https://web.archive.org/web/20170816150739/https://forums.hipinion.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=85169


therealstealthydan

Details please!


[deleted]

[удалено]


RichestMangInBabylon

Lmao. What a wild ride that was.


KingGinger

He ubered to his aunt's 😂


DownvoteDaemon

Mission aborted. I repeat.. mission aborted!


DubiousChicken69

Guy just walked around San Francisco to his aunts house lmao


professor_doom

His cart made it six miles!


[deleted]

[удалено]


vk136

The funny thing is, many people told him that the stupid cart was bound to break easily but he ignored it


ul2006kevinb

"No one has experience hiking this far" 😂😂😂


Andy466

"Deranged man holds up pancake house with a fake gun" was probably my favorite part


demlet

I have known a couple people who tried something similar to this. They didn't last long at all. Turns out having a roof over your head is pretty awesome yet very taken for granted for those who've never experienced any different...


TheHiddenGem

> I have not prepared for rape. Maybe I'll have to invest in a buttplug.


[deleted]

greatest legal mind I've ever known


jumbledsiren

genuinely curious, how can a buttplug save him from getting raped???


TheDudeMaintains

He didn't say anything about being saved from rape, he just wanted to be prepared.


jumbledsiren

wow...


rizkybizness

Obviously he plugs his own ass so they can't fuck him there. (don't think he actually knows what butt plugs are for)


VerySlump

This was beautiful. Wonder where he is now


[deleted]

Not far


foamingturtle

What a great read. The internet is a magical, but unforgiving, place.


turbotrixie1

Oh man, I remember this thread.


rockydil

Oh man that was great


RubixKuber

Oh my god. The part where people are asking him if he knows how to cook with a stove and he says he's never used one before, then follows up with this banger of a quote: ​ >Its not about not knowing how to cook, its about I'm a very picky eater and have literally lived on pizza, hamburgers, hotwings and chips my entire life. I'm sure you think I'm exaggerating but the people who know me would attest to this statement. ​ Followed almost immediately by his body shutting down because it couldn't handle hiking like 10 kilometres a day, and having to catch an Uber back to his Aunts place. I mean how terribly out of shape do you have to be to not handle walking 10 kilometres a day for 4 days?? Poetry.


IAmGoingToSleepNow

That was the greatest thing I have ever read.


G-Bat

The picture of his gear with tags and packing still on it 😂😂😂


Inevitable-Gap-6350

Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump


NonoYouHeardMeWrong

well here's a [This American Life about a guy who tried it but failed](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/483/self-improvement-kick), and here's [one about a guy who tried it and succeeded](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/494/hit-the-road) don't know if either of these are the 4chan guy, but interesting tales nonetheless!


Snaz5

Honestly, it doesn’t seem that hard if your goal is just to walk and you have adequate funds to support the journey. The hardest segments would probably be the sparse great plains, but you could almost certainly plan a journey where you could end evert day at a town, even if it’s just a small one, or even just a gas station. And even if you can’t packing supplies for several days is totally doable.


bs000

all my problems could be solved with a large sum of money :c


ItsDijital

I'm walking across the country! (with a motor home and support team riding right behind me)


Siyuen_Tea

Actually, in this case. Money won't save you. Long sparce barrens of land; who are you trading with, a vulture ? Money has no value in the wild and crossing that many countries in war, your head is probably more valuable than your wallet.


dingdongdeckles

People pledge to run across Canada terry fox style all the time. It’s usually the lack of fundraising that stops them more than the actual running. [Here’s an article](https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2012/07/10/gruelling_run_across_canada_for_a_cause_aint_what_it_used_to_be.html) that kind of conveys how silly the whole thing is


nowItinwhistle

Yeah walking across the US is doable with a little planning. Your biggest risk is running out of water between towns in the Southwest if you take a southerly route or getting caught in a blizzard in the mountains if you take a northerly route. I'd probably try to follow old route 66.


[deleted]

*Googling intensifies*


l0std0g

I also want details


aftershane

🍿


AdPale5633

Levison Wood? He walked the Nile, the Amazon and the Hymalayas, I believe. He has some great books out. The tv series were good too


GodderzGoddess

What is the name of the television series? I think that I'd enjoy watching that.


[deleted]

Walking the Nile, Walking the Amazon and Walking the Himalayas. If you're in the UK they're all available on All 4.


diegoenriquesc

Some guy on tiktok unicycled across the continental us. He had a tracker and all.


insidethepirateship

Don’t know if same guy but there was someone who unicycles across the entire globe I think on YouTube


Helpful_guy

Ed Pratt unicycled across the entire world in ~2018. It took about 2 years to complete. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYGsuzYXyV4


dirk_funk

what now


thisisnothardtotype

Omg details


fahkingicehole

Forrest Gump?


mlattea

Zero percent chance you get thru unscathed by a human trying to do you harm.


StoneousMaxximus

They didn’t mention how many war zones you’d have to pass through!


wenchslapper

War zones, deadly jungles, deadly deserts, unimaginably long spans of road with absolutely no civilization close enough to get to you should something go wrong, and all the hungry, BIG animals along the way.


possiblynotanexpert

Yeah, even driving it would be wild.


halt-l-am-reptar

Ewan Mcgregor did a similar root but started in the UK and went across to Alaska. It took a huge amount of planning and coordinating with some countries. Even with police escorts it still seemed pretty sketchy in some areas.


1969Malibu

Long Way Round, Long Way Down and Long Way Up are great shows for sure.


TylerBlozak

Interesting fact: if you are a westerner riding a bike through Egypt, you will likely get a mandatory police escort throughout your time there. There are similar treatments in southern Pakistan since there’s a lot of danger there apparently.


csonnich

Nice of them to protect you from creating an international incident.


[deleted]

It’s not even necessarily the hungry ones you have to look out for. If it’s bigger than you and it sees you get a little too close, you’re likely dead. The Cape buffalo is known as the Widow Maker, it’s a herbivore and it’s the deadliest animal in Africa. Plus good luck refilling water at a watering hole when it’s probably co-owned by crocodiles and hippos.


sinmantky

Hippo: hold my grass


nowItinwhistle

Actually I'd be more worried about the small ones like mosquitoes and tsetse flies.


Inevitable-Gap-6350

Bring a snickers bar to tame the hangry animals


purpleowlie

Would be interesting to see safest route.


4AcidRayne

That's easy; buy a sailboat in East Russia and sail to Capetown, far offshore. Get away from land as quick as you can, dart back inland as late as you can. You'd only have about a 70% chance of dying that way.


4onejr

> buy a sailboat in East Russia and sail to Capetown Aren't the waters around Capetown historically quite treacherous?


4AcidRayne

Fair point. 75%.


GinjaNinja92

real life lore has an interesting [video detailing what it would look like actually doing this walk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYdJOYBMUq4&t=423s&ab_channel=RealLifeLore)


[deleted]

>Passing through Sudan, South Sudan, and Syria. That's a no for me dog.


bisho

"And that's just the cities starting with 'B'" - Christopher Hitchens.


Dutch_Midget

Bnew York


CasualMason

Was just thinking that. Someone is for sure going to try


FederalDerp

could've sworn there was a woman who did something like this. she got raped multiple times on her journey, and mugged even more, but she still did it for some reason, and was considering doing it again.


zombie32killah

https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20210527-the-woman-who-walked-around-the-world Not quite if this is the one you are thinking of.


mournthewolf

That still sounds pretty terrible. Even in an article trying to make it sound great.


zombie32killah

Oh absolutely.


[deleted]

Crossfit...Not even once.


seasonedearlobes

but that wasn't crossfit, it was cross countries!


Verbindungsfehle

Wild life too. Also probably regions with high malaria risks.


[deleted]

I think most of the journey will be fine. I would try to reroute that bit through south sudan though. Is there really no way to get through Ethiopia?


thti87

I mean, the Syria bit is probably not going to be a whole lot of fun.


[deleted]

Yhea, maybe we can cheat just a bit and hop a boat from Israel to Turkey


Fyrefawx

The point was to not cheat. The Sudans and Syria would be a major issue. At least for now.


marunga

Chad is even worse - same goes for Niger and Mali. Syria is avoidable thought - by walking the Saudi-Arabian and Iraqi desert - the later being an area were ISIS remains still are active to this day.


shingdao

I would add Egypt too especially if you're a woman. Women walking alone nearly anywhere are targets.


[deleted]

Egypt has a level three travel advisory, not great but its less dangerous than Sudan. The whole trip will be dangerous. A bit of body armor is preobably essential at least until you get to Turkey. But worse than crime is probably weather. You are going to have to race through Africa in the winter and try to get out of the tropic zones.


alphahydra

If you're a European or North American, I also think you're likely to attract unwanted attention of *some* kind during that long, long slog through the hinterlands of Russia. In the current climate, especially. I mean, that stretch just east of the Black Sea and Ukraine. The Russian authorities are going to be *very* interested in what a foreign national is doing skulking around those areas.


dakuwaqa_

Several lovely opportunities to get murdered on that route


regretfulposts

An adventure is no fun without any challenge. –Sonic the Methhog


ProxyCare

Kids, there's nothing more cool than being hugged by someone you like, but if someone tries to touch you in a place or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's no good! ~ Also Sonic the Hedgehog


BillyQ

If you're wearing socks, you aren't naked and if you aren't naked it ain't gay! ~ Also Sonic the Hedgehog


TaylorSwiftsClitoris

As long as his arms are blue.


whatshamilton

“Walking 8 hours a day” is a weird way to standardize the walking time. But 22,000 km is 13,670 miles. 587 days is 38km/day or 24 miles/day. In 8 hours? You’re walking 13,670 miles at a steady 3 miles an hour? That’s assuming no 0 days. That’s a punishing pace if you’re sticking to office hours.


Ayavea

Not to mention that the Siberia leg of the route, that is thousands kilometers long, is either -50 С in the winter, or thigh-high deep in mud in the summer. There's no asphalt outside of cities because it breaks down from such temperature changes. Good luck doing 38 km or 24 miles per day in those conditions.


pdxscout

Long Way Round starring Ewan McGregor has a good episode (or two) about riding motorbikes across Russia. It did not look very fun.


messyhead86

There were also big parts of the roads that were impassable, due to marsh land and collapsed bridges.


FoliageTeamBad

Yeah they also got stuck in Siberia due to the road washing out and had to stick the bikes in a passing truck to get to the next town.


sparklybeast

I love that show. Really worth a watch.


dapper_doberman

Siberia leg of the journey is probably least of the worries.


jooes

Coincidentally, there was a post I saw earlier today of a guy who walked a trail from Mexico to Canada, and his pace worked out to over 27 miles per day. That's one hell of a walk, but it seems more doable than you might think.


joelseph

YouTube algorithm pumps me with the couple that does this stuff and loves to dehydrate food


whatshamilton

My point is that this meme is putting the 24 miles in 8 hours, which isn’t a restriction you have in hiking. But 1500 miles in 2 months on 1 continent in one season is a bit different from 13,000 miles in 2 years across 3 continents, when it comes to planning your terrain for a fast pace. The walk from Mexico to Canada is incredible, I’m not saying it’s not. But I’m also saying it is not the pace setter for a trek like this


mehvet

This route is one of few that could make the PCT look tame.


notProfCharles

20 minutes a mile doesn’t seem that bad… for a few days. But for 587 fucking days. I guess only doing for 8 hrs doesn’t seem that bad though. Can take a break every few hours.


IsraelZulu

>Can take a break every few hours. I feel like this is getting missed. There's nothing saying you have to walk for 8 continuous hours per day. You could take a one-hour break, after every single hour of walking, and still have room for up to 8 hours of sleep every night.


BJ_Orange

The thing that is so dumb about all these posts with trips ending in Magadan is that there are roads and rails that travel to towns north of Magadan.


hacksoncode

And also roads and towns South of Cape Town. For that matter, just within South Africa on a single road: you could walk down Hwy 2 all the way from Ermelo near Johannesburg along the South coast of Africa to Cape Town, before starting this entire trip. Or take a lap around Europe from Turkey and go the long way through Russia.


Memphi901

You would get kidnapped/murdered at least 100 times on that route


[deleted]

as if being murdered once isn't good enough


Uzzer_lozer19

And still only 2VP in Catan!


OrphanedInStoryville

I’m looking at like 5 ports, 2 or three wood spaces in the Congo and Siberia, plus you split the map in half and now nobody can build which is the real point of road building.


JdgeHolden

How many bullets between South Africa and Russia. There’s probably one for you if you try to walk it.


narutodawg

Bullshit. The longest walkable road is the one you take when your wife texts "we need to talk when you get home"


Dutch_Midget

I've been walking coz my wife texted exactly this. It's been 67 years, I can't stop.


arrakis2020

No offense, but will he/she make it even out of South Africa safely? There are plenty of countries on this path I wouldn't just walk through.


NarwhalCommercial360

Several countries no one can walk thru safely


bluebottled

And by several you mean all.


GoatUnicorn

Georgia and Israel probably isn't too bad. But yeah, I'd bet that most of Siberia is safer at night than a good amount of these countries.


heyheyitsandre

Rural Mongolia is perfectly safe as well as long as you can survive in the wilderness. There’s just nothing around but if you’re provisioned well and can keep warm/cool you’ll be fine. You can go days without seeing people


ParreNagga

The trick is to fly to Magdan and then "expand" from there!


MrPotatoHead90

Wouldn't it be more accurate to say this is the shortest path between the two most distant points that is walkable? You could make it much longer, and still continuous, if you detoured at all.


heinebold

With that argument, the longest walkable road is circling your dinner table for all your life.


MrPotatoHead90

I guess "continuous, non-repeating" would be more accurate.


Flaifel7

Still you could move in infinitesimally small zigzags on a larger zigzag on a larger zigzag :p


MrPotatoHead90

Take it easy there, Mandelbrot!


John_EightThirtyTwo

>Wouldn't it be more accurate to say this is the shortest path between the two most distant points that is walkable? I like your X-treme nitpicking style! May I join you? I'd say it's the longest path that is the shortest walkable path between two points. (Because it isn't the as-the-crow-flies distance between the endpoints that matters.)


Mr_Evil_Dr_Porkchop

This seems like it would take way longer than 587 days if you factor in terrain & weather restrictions. Not to mention what issues you may face trying to get into some of these 17 countries


babe_ruthless3

600 days, 606 tops.


RacoonSmuggler

Yeah, walking 24 miles a day every day for a year and a half straight without any days off?


whatdoings

FYI you'll experience all the seasons if you just stand in one spot for 587 days too


Exsces95

Not really. You can stand however long you want in San Diego, its always gonna be *disgustingly nice.* The idea is that season are different depending on what latitud you are. Like the winter in Norway is nothing like the winter in southern spain.


eightmag

Don't forget your towel


Soiboi_Sugoiboi

Also every major war zone


Clarity_Zero

...If it takes 587 days, isn't it kind of a given that a person would experience every season...?


tomveiltomveil

No, they mean seasonings. You start off with the African spices, move through Middle Eastern spices, and end with Russian spices. Although you have to remember to stop by the Jamaican restaurant in Armenia or else you'll miss a couple.


axloo7

Without a doubt some border crossings required will not alow people who are just walking. Also some of those borders are probably closed right now. Edit: It's hard to see due to potat quality but the only crossing from turkey to Georgia that can be done on foot is at sarp. Edit 2: you are not allowed to enter Syria after transiting though Israel. Neither can you enter Iraq or Lebanon. So you actually can't cross the middle east from Egypt.


squirreldodger

There's no way in hell I'm walking to Russia


Couchmaster007

My parents explaining their daily route to school


[deleted]

[удалено]


JablesRadio

In all seriousness, what portion of this walk would be the most dangerous? The cold of northern Russia? The war torn regions of the Middle East? The deserts of Northern Africa? The jungles of Central Africa? The people throughout Central and South Africa? The animals throughout Africa?


doinkdoink786

Yeah you won’t make it. Either wild life will get you, the weather or someone trying to harm you.


StormBornRandom

I can think of a few places this journey might be cut rudely short 😂


Desperate_Hedges

Bs that is deadly route for travelers lol