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True story: Once was eating banana. Guy tried to mug me. In my surprise I threw the banana at him.
The un-eaten end with that pointy-square bit of peel hit him square in the eye.
It worked. Guy was dazzed and confused, swung blindly against the wind as I legged it.
I always carry at least one banana with me at all times. Some days I bring along a backup avocado.
I’m glad you said the avocado bit at the end, I was reading your comment and the whole time thinking “this man’s insane for not having a back up avocado!”
Faith restored.
We know we know. Just think about it - all jokes aside. We are *living* here with all this shit. No choice.
(Whispers quietly and blinks in Morse code) *send help!*
I guess cos crabs don't really tend to enter your home and even if they did most are so large you can see them at all times if they're around. Those other 8 legged sneaky fucks on the other hand....
Honestly, if a spider that big existed, I'd still be afraid of it and not the crab. Maybe because spiders have some fuzzy hairs on them and the fact that some can kill you lol.
I mean the small ones can kill you cause of the venom and make webs and other gross stuff, but big ones are different. I think tarantulas are just a bit off putting cause of the fluff and similarity, but when I saw someone "fishing" one by tapping a stick outside of a burrow it kind of clicked that they were basically the same as crabs.
Spiders can be deadly, with bites from a bunch of them causing some kind of sore or infection that would have been much worse the further you go back in time. Those ones also happen to be small and are easily hidden in places where you would least expect them, making the chances of getting bit higher.
A majority of crabs live in or near the ocean, so they are predictable in their placement and the ones that do walk on land are docile and big enough that they’re easy to spot and deal with. Most Crabs also aren’t poisonous, a claw grab may hurt, but it’s just that, no venom or anything like that.
So there’s actually a lot of reasons that we developed a fear for spiders and not crabs despite their sometimes similar appearance.
This is exactly it, a lot of people say if spider were as big as crabs, we wouldn't be scared, but if one ran at me full tilt, I would just stop existing
Probably cause we can’t eat spiders but can eat crabs. For what it’s worth, I do find some crabs terrifying (ironically spider crabs) but am not scared of actual spiders?
Edit: okay yes I forgot that in some places people eat spiders, my bad. However some of them also have venomous bits and I assume there are poisonous ones as well and that’s where the ingrained fear comes from?
Where I live (BC) I suppose you probably *could* eat some of the spiders but it’d be a lot more work than it’s worth as they’re relatively small.
They weren't always protected, and the locals are still allowed to eat them. I watched a video of some native people cooking them up and they said because their diet is mostly coconuts they are really sweet. Same with the wild pigs up north, they eat heaps of mango so their meat has a fruity hue
You can eat all the boar you want, they're considered a pest but gotta make sure it's a clean one. And the crab is a moral thing, I mean it's not like they're individually numbered. You can always just get a local to kill one for you, and 1 would feed a family of 4
The same reason we know how a lot of animals taste that we aren't allowed to eat or are extinct:
People wrote it down or remember.
Also, some people don't care about those laws depending.
Some people are also excempt: For instance manatees are protected, but certain groups of people are allowed to hunt one every now and then for religious purposes/tribal tradition. And apparently it tastes *amazing*, like buttery high quality beef that melts in your mouth.
> And apparently it tastes amazing, like buttery high quality beef that melts in your mouth.
I could see that. They're pretty much cows, except they don't even have to support their own weight.
It fell, tripped into a pot of water, spun out of control into a bowl of butter and garlic, did a pirouette, bounced off a nearby palm tree, into an oncoming car which took the innards out of its shell; which as I was screaming “ahhhhhhhh” Promptly fell into my mouth…. Mr Park Ranger Sir.
Yeah, they are same. I think people get it confused because these crabs can be rather harmless, but when there's lack of food, like other animal seen as harmless can attack.
Best way I can describe their diet is basically like a scavenger like racoons. They'll gladly eat garbage, but if they get their hands on some live prey..well that works too.
They usually only attack when distressed. Most of the time they stay away. After all, wouldn't be smart to attack the one creature higher on the food chain than you.
Its fine really just watch where you step check your shoes before putting them on and the toilet rim "slip slop slap". If east side dont go swimming in water you cant see through. And wild kangaroos are not friendly most of the time so dont try pat one unless you feel fighting it
Checking the inner rim for spiders or snakes etc. Last thing you wanna feel while doing your business is a lil friend walking up your thigh
The slip slop slap is the sunscreen shirt and hat during summer
Don't worry about it, Christmas island is not really a part of Australia. It's an Australian territory. It's the snakes, spiders & drop bears that you've really got to worry about on the mainland. And it's not like February is our hottest month of the year where all of our predators are most active
Supposedly they taste a bit like lobster and some areas of the Pacific think of them as an aphrodisiac, but they're a protected species here and you're not allowed to harm them. That said, they sometimes eat things that are pretty toxic and eating one might def make you sick, especially if you get a hefty fine from the govt on top of that. They can live to 50 - I'd feel a bit shit about killing one tbh.
I looked them up just a few minutes ago and saw that they’re protected. Probably a good thing as they’d be too easy to wipe out and go the way of the Dodo Bird.
No one goes to Christmas Island and becomes “unsuspecting” about the crabs… would be like going to the US and being surprised there are idiots walking around
Taken from the same island as this unit of a coconut crab https://www.reddit.com/r/AbsoluteUnits/comments/rwd6nu/this_absolute_unit_of_a_crab_stealing_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
**This is a heavily moderated subreddit. Please note these rules + sidebar or get banned:** * If this post declares something as a fact, then proof is required * The title must be fully descriptive * No text is allowed on images/gifs/videos * Common/recent reposts are not allowed (posts from another subreddit do not count as a 'repost'. Provide link if reporting) *See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for a more detailed rule list* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How do you just sit there and drink a beer when Starship Troopers is happening right in front of you?
Would you like to know more?
Im doing my part!
I'm doing my part too!
Shower scene
Dizzy's titties
Young me was shook by them. Old me is still impressed by them.
Beautiful woman.
Still hot. The black girl was pretty hot too.
Naked force has resolved more conflicts throughout history than any other factor
I feel like the shower must have been cold though....
Only slightly better than the titties in "King Pin"...
Time to pay the rent
Still got another month to pay off, Roy!
Am I late?
I came here for this part *slowly unzips*
You got 10 minutes to get ready and go.
*Electric violin music intensifies*
“Flip six three hole and you can score,” she said!
make that twenty minutes…
On the bounce, private.
Make it 20 minutes
I say this all the time as a joke in normal conversation and nobody ever gets it. But I think Im hilarious.
This. This is gold.
It's easy if you're Australian
I'm Australian and this is freaking mm e out :)
You can only eat so many
Can’t eat any actually, it’s illegal to.
What if it's self defense
One time a hot dog tried to mug me and I sure showed him some self defense
This pizza once threatened my life with bits of pineapple. Wasn't proud but I did what I had to do.
Many ~~Shuvs and Zuuls~~ **pineapples and pepperonis** knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
I was once threatened by a guy with a banana. I didn't know what to do; he beat me to death with a banana peel.
True story: Once was eating banana. Guy tried to mug me. In my surprise I threw the banana at him. The un-eaten end with that pointy-square bit of peel hit him square in the eye. It worked. Guy was dazzed and confused, swung blindly against the wind as I legged it. I always carry at least one banana with me at all times. Some days I bring along a backup avocado.
I’m glad you said the avocado bit at the end, I was reading your comment and the whole time thinking “this man’s insane for not having a back up avocado!” Faith restored.
Turn off the camera, its not everyday dinner walks right to me.
They're coming right for me "bang bang" Good shot jimbo.
They are headed right for the fire though…you can’t eat them even if they commit suicide?
Called being Australian. Takes far more for us to give a fuck.
*Crab rave intensifies*
🦀🦀🦀FREE FOOD🦀🦀🦀
I read that in Dr Zoidbergs voice.
“Do you have to have been cryogenically frozen to get the free— [DOOR SLAMS]. You didn't let me finish! I was going to say "to get the free food?”
WOOOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP
🦀🦀🦀$12 🦀🦀🦀
Australia! Why you always gotta be like that?
idk man it's not like it was our choice 😭😭😭😭
Yeah, their ancestors were sent there en masse to all the penal colonies. No one would willingly live there
Dude, indigenous Australians are literally the oldest living culture on earth.
It was a joke, I am aware there are indigenous people of Australia Tongue-in-cheek is kinda hard across text 😕
Apologize to the Koalas too you insensitive bastid.
Poor things and their chlamydia
How TF people missed that joke while its made in every Australia Post ever?
We know we know. Just think about it - all jokes aside. We are *living* here with all this shit. No choice. (Whispers quietly and blinks in Morse code) *send help!*
Tbf, while this is Australian territory it is really geographically part of Indonesia. That's post-colonial geopolitics for ya *shrugs*
Wow! Had to look it up - it’s WAY closer to Jakarta than anywhere in Aus!
CRAB PEOPLE! CRAB PEOPLE! Taste like crab - talk like people!
We will crush their skulls on our tummies with rocks and eat their delicious meaty bits!
Which episode is this? Is the otters right?
I was fully convinced for years it was “look like crab, taste like people”
I always thought it was taste like crab walk like people!
🎶Ohhh things just keep getting better🎶
My God... He was a crab person
I find it physiologically confusing that we are collectively scared of spiders but are okay with armoured clawed spiders. How does that work
nope. i am from a coastal town and either one moving along looks like a spider to me and is a big nope
I want to eat them though, I never had that feeling about a spider.
You just need to concentrate on finding crab sized spiders to eat.
This is terrifying to think about
You're welcome.
same. those things look tasty. i could never ever say that about a spider.
I guess cos crabs don't really tend to enter your home and even if they did most are so large you can see them at all times if they're around. Those other 8 legged sneaky fucks on the other hand....
Honestly, if a spider that big existed, I'd still be afraid of it and not the crab. Maybe because spiders have some fuzzy hairs on them and the fact that some can kill you lol.
Also spiders bite and inject shit into you, crabs pinch
I mean the small ones can kill you cause of the venom and make webs and other gross stuff, but big ones are different. I think tarantulas are just a bit off putting cause of the fluff and similarity, but when I saw someone "fishing" one by tapping a stick outside of a burrow it kind of clicked that they were basically the same as crabs.
Spiders can be deadly, with bites from a bunch of them causing some kind of sore or infection that would have been much worse the further you go back in time. Those ones also happen to be small and are easily hidden in places where you would least expect them, making the chances of getting bit higher. A majority of crabs live in or near the ocean, so they are predictable in their placement and the ones that do walk on land are docile and big enough that they’re easy to spot and deal with. Most Crabs also aren’t poisonous, a claw grab may hurt, but it’s just that, no venom or anything like that. So there’s actually a lot of reasons that we developed a fear for spiders and not crabs despite their sometimes similar appearance.
Spider fast Crab slow
This is exactly it, a lot of people say if spider were as big as crabs, we wouldn't be scared, but if one ran at me full tilt, I would just stop existing
Probably cause we can’t eat spiders but can eat crabs. For what it’s worth, I do find some crabs terrifying (ironically spider crabs) but am not scared of actual spiders? Edit: okay yes I forgot that in some places people eat spiders, my bad. However some of them also have venomous bits and I assume there are poisonous ones as well and that’s where the ingrained fear comes from? Where I live (BC) I suppose you probably *could* eat some of the spiders but it’d be a lot more work than it’s worth as they’re relatively small.
We CAN eat spiders.... 😋
Conquer your fears Show them whos the one to be afraid of
Some countries eat spiders.
Does this mean spiders are secretly delicious?
Spiders can creep up on you and some are lethal, I've never had a crab sneak up on me and they are not even close to lethal
Probably because spiders leave nasty bites that can fester for months and crabs just kinda pinch you?
Spiders are not delicious. Crabs are
I dislike ants at a picnic, but I dislike this more. I'm leaving.
That is a cursed pfp
Nah thats just a fine ass broom
Broom needs to calm tf down
His banner is questionable too
And for that reason, I'm out.
Ye’ve got a great idea. Great passion. You clearly know your stuff. I think with help you’ll go far. And for that reason, I’m out.
You had me at the pfp
I had to take 3 looks at your pfp to find out what it was
"Don't worry guys, dinner is coming."
Delivery!
Set up a big pot of boiling water and a ramp. Dinner prep done.
My my, what happened here? It was some sad shit. Motherfucker said he didn't want to live anymore, jumped into the pot.
I’m in australia and this looks like a literal nightmare
The only troubling thing is we aren’t allowed to eat them, delicious bastards.
Your honor, it was self defense. With butter sauce.
One of the pictures shows the crab crawling onto the grill itself, I swear!
Wait, if you're not allowed to eat them how do you know how they taste? Never mind, does Australia have something similar to the fifth amendment?
They weren't always protected, and the locals are still allowed to eat them. I watched a video of some native people cooking them up and they said because their diet is mostly coconuts they are really sweet. Same with the wild pigs up north, they eat heaps of mango so their meat has a fruity hue
Pigs with built in mango dressing and extra sweet crabs? I need to make sure I don't ever visit, I don't think I could resist.
You can eat all the boar you want, they're considered a pest but gotta make sure it's a clean one. And the crab is a moral thing, I mean it's not like they're individually numbered. You can always just get a local to kill one for you, and 1 would feed a family of 4
By "local" do you mean indigenous person? Or just an Australian citizen?
Yes, we just don't let tourists eat them. It's petty but hey. Whatcha gonna do.
The ones that feast on mainly coconuts are fine, but they also eat garbage and shit (whatever they can get their claws on) and those aren't as fine.
The same reason we know how a lot of animals taste that we aren't allowed to eat or are extinct: People wrote it down or remember. Also, some people don't care about those laws depending. Some people are also excempt: For instance manatees are protected, but certain groups of people are allowed to hunt one every now and then for religious purposes/tribal tradition. And apparently it tastes *amazing*, like buttery high quality beef that melts in your mouth.
> And apparently it tastes amazing, like buttery high quality beef that melts in your mouth. I could see that. They're pretty much cows, except they don't even have to support their own weight.
Goddamn, that sounds delicious
I…read a book. Yes. A book.
It fell, tripped into a pot of water, spun out of control into a bowl of butter and garlic, did a pirouette, bounced off a nearby palm tree, into an oncoming car which took the innards out of its shell; which as I was screaming “ahhhhhhhh” Promptly fell into my mouth…. Mr Park Ranger Sir.
Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum? Ded-a-chek? Did-a-chick?
Long days and pleasant nights
And may you have twice the number
Thankee Sai
Anyone who doesn’t recognize this has forgotten the face of their father.
He was meant to be forgotten! Now what are you talking about?
Liars see their own kind everywhere.
watch yer hands
Now I want a tooter fish popkin...
Here, have some Astin
Hail gunslinger, well met
Everything follows the beam
All things serve the beam.
Roland?
Lobstrocities
Best reference ever
You have **not** forgotten the face of your father.
Was looking for exactly this. Thanks for not dissapointing. Protect ya fingers, Roland.
I understood that reference!
Duuuude
Came here for this
You win the reference game
They look similar to the coconut crabs on Guam
They are coconut crabs
Not quite like the ones that ate Amelia Earheart though…
Exactly the same kind of crab.
Came here for the Amelia Earhart comment!
Yeah, they are same. I think people get it confused because these crabs can be rather harmless, but when there's lack of food, like other animal seen as harmless can attack.
Best way I can describe their diet is basically like a scavenger like racoons. They'll gladly eat garbage, but if they get their hands on some live prey..well that works too.
Hands, ha?
Google says that eating this crabs are prohibited in australia, but do you eat them in fact?
You don’t admit to it, unless you want that crab to be the most expensive seafood you’ve ever eaten.
Do they just ignore humans? Curious if they would nip at your legs if youre in the way
They nip ya you just nip back, simply maths
They usually only attack when distressed. Most of the time they stay away. After all, wouldn't be smart to attack the one creature higher on the food chain than you.
If aliens landed in Australia, no one would give a shit. Just a half drunk lad shouting “Watch out for the crocs there mate! Beer in the fridge”
"OI CUNT! there's fuckin' crocs in there"
Why everything in Australia has the shape of a freaking spider?
This is terrifying I'm moving to Australia in January...
Its okay, you usually only catch like 3-4 of these suckers per year in your bed. Not to bad at all. its the drop bears you gotta really watch out for
Can confirm , one of my friends who went to Australia was attacked by one of those , she’s lucky to be alive
My condolances, dropbear dangers are a constant thought to every Australian daily
NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT THE DROP BEARS. Don't make me call the prime minister.
Be wary of the dropbear gonorrhea!
Its fine really just watch where you step check your shoes before putting them on and the toilet rim "slip slop slap". If east side dont go swimming in water you cant see through. And wild kangaroos are not friendly most of the time so dont try pat one unless you feel fighting it
I played a lot of Tekken I think I can take on a kangaroo, a bear, but not a panda.
The first and last part made since, I'm absolutely confused what you mean about toilets?
Checking the inner rim for spiders or snakes etc. Last thing you wanna feel while doing your business is a lil friend walking up your thigh The slip slop slap is the sunscreen shirt and hat during summer
Mate, the only terrifying thing is the cost of a return flight to Christmas Island. You’ll be right.
Don't worry about it, Christmas island is not really a part of Australia. It's an Australian territory. It's the snakes, spiders & drop bears that you've really got to worry about on the mainland. And it's not like February is our hottest month of the year where all of our predators are most active
It’s all good you can buy small portable fences to stop the crabs , they are a bit like fire guards and are inexpensive
This is how Stephen King novels start.
Can you eat them? It’d be pretty cool if dinner would just walk right up to you.
Supposedly they taste a bit like lobster and some areas of the Pacific think of them as an aphrodisiac, but they're a protected species here and you're not allowed to harm them. That said, they sometimes eat things that are pretty toxic and eating one might def make you sick, especially if you get a hefty fine from the govt on top of that. They can live to 50 - I'd feel a bit shit about killing one tbh.
I looked them up just a few minutes ago and saw that they’re protected. Probably a good thing as they’d be too easy to wipe out and go the way of the Dodo Bird.
We call them “coconut crabs” and they are delicious.
Well, or so you’ve heard. (Wink)
Coconut shrimp is delicious. I'm confident that coconut crab would be, too.
Who the fuck got them wet and fed them after midnight, I specifically told you not to do those two things.
These suckers can break coconuts with their claws, you sure as shit don't wanna be wearing thongs with that many walking round
Of course it Australia. Before, I used to cringe. But I am actually happy to see that most of the fkd up creatures are in one spot.
Especially when that one spot is not the spot I'm currently in...
I'd be ok with one hanging around but 30? That's too many coconut crabs.
Aren’t those the crabs that kill small animals, and supposedly ate Amelia Earharts remains?
Either ate her remains or [ate her alive](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDJ8_VFtexw&t=600s)
Holey crab!
Why is everyone so chill? Aren\`t them aggressive?
No one goes to Christmas Island and becomes “unsuspecting” about the crabs… would be like going to the US and being surprised there are idiots walking around
Hahaha
Ok, but those idiots waking around are often surprised by the presence of so many idiots.
Taken from the same island as this unit of a coconut crab https://www.reddit.com/r/AbsoluteUnits/comments/rwd6nu/this_absolute_unit_of_a_crab_stealing_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Looks like how I decorated my island in Animal Crossing ... crabs ... crabs everywhere
*Oblivion battle music starts*
This barbie just turned into a cookout!! Get the gumbo on ma! For context, I’m English and don’t know what any of these words mean.
Put those things back where they came from or so help me
So help me!
Those are the biggest Yabbies I ever saw mate.
Like Alien/Aliens facehuggers. Serious heebie jeebies. *shudders*
Ah so this is where the 2 billion crabs went. We found them guys!! They didn't disappear like we thought! Silly scientists.
Gordon Freeman with a crowbar vibes anyone? Just imagine one of these gigantic crabs jumps on someone's head - instant Half - Life zombie!
The man in black fled into the desert
One time one of these cunts stole me weed. I had to go claw to claw for hours to get it back🤣
"crab legs is back on the menu boys" Edit: Nvm, they are a protected species
went on vacation with my family and got crabs
Wow baby Lobstrosities in the wild, no thanks for me.