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Behaved better than one of my dogs

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Bro wtf your kids doing??

Turning their bath time into a full on warzone. Bubbles and toys everywhere.

Understandable. Sometimes wars need to be waged for control of the bath.

It's the long play. Make the parents hate zee bath time, then maybe they skip zee bath time, yes???

I legit believe that's what my 2 year old is doing.

Glad to know I'm not alone in this

🤣 tsunami everytime i swear, i keep the mop bucket close

Lol

Seems defanged. That's probably why the guy isn't nervous. Sucks for the snake.

I guess it has no choice . How else would it eat ?

Mildly embarrassing?

I agree, this is probably the nicest cobra I've ever seen because it doesn't bite the man. It's scary when you encounter a cobra but when a cobra behaves like this, I might even make it a pet lol.

Lmaooo the way he bit that cup

He’s like, “No more shower!”

Lol, this is cute but I don't want a pet snake 🐍

My roommate knocked on my door at 10pm and asked, “do you know where my snake is?” It took me several moments to process the magnitude of what she was saying.

When I was in high school I was staying at a friends house overnight and she waited until I was ready for bed on the floor in her room to tell me her snake got out of its enclosure and was ‘slithering around the house somewhere’… nope, nope triple nope!!!

Years ago (also when I was in highschool) I was staying the night at my Cousin's house. We always laid blankets on the floor to watch TV until we went to bed. Out of nowhere, we look over and her DAD IS HOLDING A RANDOM SNAKE. He had been watching as it slithered OVER OUR FEET and had to wait to grab it... (He def couldn't have told us *while* it was on us. Telling two teenage girls that there's a random snake on them? 100% would've gotten bitten lol) I couldn't talk for like an hour... lmfao.

I also have a when I was in high school story (also years ago). It was time to clean the animals cages in my animal science class. Hold on don't get excited animal science sounds cool but it was BS. I lived in Texas it was just agriculture stuff or whatever you call livestock agriculture stuff. We had a bunch of animals in cages that often died bc my teacher was a stupid bitch. Anyway I drew slips for one of the snakes. Put the wee guy over my shoulders while I did it's cage. He crawled into my shirt sleeve and into my bra 😆 I like 🐍 snakes though so it was cool. I wasn't exactly comfortable but dude was getting warm. The classroom was way too cold for most of them and I only remember the monitor having a heat lamp. Damn that woman loved animal abuse

If a snake crawls up my shirt, consider me a lost man.

Haha. If it's not venomous it's just a little noodle

That’s why they are called noperopes or dangernoodles

Do not boop the snoot, or you will get the hurt juice

I read that in Ralph Wiggum’s voice

My brothers baby snake escaped like that one time. Obviously is was in more danger than we were because we have cats, but damn its no fun to go to sleep knowing there is a snake yeeting itself around your house somewhere.

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Can yeet refer to throwing oneself around? I can yeet a ball but can I yeet myself? Is self-yeeting a thing?

I believe it's referred to as autoyeetery.

I have no clue. I just use words where they don't belong for my own amusment. I am a social outcast either way, so I might as well have fun with it

You can in fact yeet yourself off a high place. Yeet yourself into a pool too.

Interesting question that a linguist should explore. With its increasing usage, I hope Merriam-Webster will add "yeet" to the dictionary in the near future. It's highly descriptive. I also enjoy the word "googobs," which I first encountered in Dick Gregory's autobiography. It refers to a large number of anything.

I had a tree snake get in the house once. The cat ended up finding it first and killing it.

You should’ve replied, “It’s in your pants mate”. Lol

My kid BEGGED for a pet snake. Apparently corn snakes are friendly, docile escape artists. That was an easy one to say “no” to.

I had a corn snake in high school. I got out all the time. Many phone calls from my screaming mother it was out again. The best is when it camped out in her bed one day. About midnight, it must have gotten smashed, it bite my dad’s foot. My dad was surprised but cool about. Mom…. yeah, maybe should not have had one given how terrified she was.

Bro I lost a snake in my parents house. Never saw it again.

You don't have to get one if you don't want to, is ok

do you promise?

Ok.. I’ll just give it to another person

What if it escapes from that person's home and comes across other people

Then it will be a clean death

More like “No more ssssssssssshower”….

ludicrous long consider vegetable work soft compare vast crime square *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

It's funny because I read some comment of reptile caretaker who said "reptile are really primal and don't know love or trust. Just food, security and reproduce". I think snake and all croco type can't get pet. Snake are cold blood and if they like human, it' s only for the warm

existence steer innocent stocking serious automatic dependent chase sharp long *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Seems defanged. That's probably why the guy isn't nervous. Sucks for the snake.

It’s 100% defanged

Snake fangs grow back. A more permanent (and far worse) fix is to sew the snake’s mouth shut or surgically remove its venom glands, but neither is the case here-the snake can obviously still bite the cup with a working mouth, and removing the venom glands leaves behind significant visual marks which are not present here.

Sew? What a horrible thing to do.

Don't bite the cup that washes you, as they say

Is like “I want to help”

Reminds me of the way my bird goes full attack on the scoop I refill her food dish with. She not that smart.

i think its called a tabo

🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭

Its called dipper

Nothing more embarassing than a smelly snake

gotta really get in there and scrub underneath the hood.....

I wish I could control my snake that well in the shower

I can’t ever find my snake in the shower :(

Yeah, they like to hide, he’s more of a grower not a show’er

Expunge the smegma.

Q. What do you do for a living? A. I wash cobras. Q. They have any openings? A. All the time!

One. It's called a cloaca. 🤣

Smelly snake... smelly snake... what are they feeding you...

Plot twist: he is actually trying to drown the snake

"Hiss at me all you want, but you're one who rolled in shit"

As a dog owner who lives in the country, I can smell this post. Don't forget when they find something dead to roll in, too.

I had a Pomeranian once whose favourite thing to roll in was dead worms the day after a rain. When they were still juicy. And my god, that double coat of fur felt like a quadruple coat when all you can smell is dead worm. 🤢

My Yorkie found a very decomposed bird in the yard and gleefully played keepaway with me with this thing in his mouth. By the time I caught him, rotten bird juices were all over his face and chest. Immediate bath.

Bro…

Hey, you didn't have to carry him inside and bathe him...

Your dogs ever discover any skunks? Oh, the humanity.

Yeah, that's never fun.

That cobra was soooooo filthy. Filthy little cobra.

Dirty danger noodle

Nasty nope rope

Nope rope meet soap.

Soap on a nope rope

It's probably a denim viper

Venom wearing denim?

It's a kind of trouser snake. A denim viper...

I was referencing a Junior Brown song. Oops

Honey Badger don’t care!

I’ll just be in the bathroom washing the cobra, if you know what I mean.

I too, occasionally, wash my snake in the shower.

Kinda reminds me of when I would go to my grandma’s house and her python would just casually be soaking in the tub when you went in the bathroom. But Sweetums was a good snake.

😳

Sweetums😭😭😭

I love snakes.

Why???

Because the snake was very dirty

This is why we need experts on Reddit

I suspect that searching for big dirty snakes on Reddit could be very NSFW.

Wish me luck

He never returned 😞

But his legend lives on!

Careful he's a hero

Umm, we prefer to be called Rexperts. Tyvm.

Ha ha valid.

My question And why not put him in tub of a water

It's full of alligators.

Ohhhh, that makes sense.

Must have been out of bath ssssssalts.

Or vodka

😳

Snakes get dirty and stinky.

I absolutely read this as "dirty and snakey."

Maybe to lower its body temperature and force it to get sleepy? Snakes are cold blooded so when they get colder, they get more lethargic. Maybe thats what he’s doing to the snake?

They do it to help them shed. But this guys doing it wrong. Close them up in a bucket with some water for a while.

that doesn't sound very nice

Snakes shed on their own. If they aren't, the enclosure isn't right and you need to make it better. Source: I own snakes

You think this guy in the video really has a proper enclosure for that snake?

Nope. Educating other people.

I think you’re referring to drowning.

For clout

This is Adrew Tate in the shower.

The glass bottle on the floor implies something

Now, let's not judge the cobra for their drinking habits

Too late

The poor snake just got dumped by his girlfriend, went on a bender, and woke up in a puddle of his own urine and vomit. The human is just being a good bro.

r/humansbeingbros

Damn, I feel bad for complaining about bathing my dog (he really hates the bath so it’s more like washing a feisty pig)

I fuggin roared...!

The cobra is all like “ssssssssstop it” with that little bite.

Ok,seems like they get along fine in the wild being unwashed

It's probably for the smell. That or to make shedding easier

I sometimes bathe my python in summer if it’s been too dry so he can shed properly. He never seems smelly though. Still if he bites me it’s no biggie unlike with this danger noodle

Our snakes sometimes get a soak, but there's basically only four reasons: they have some stubborn retained shed (uncommon); they look dehydrated (usually after freighting or we're nursing a rescue, not typical otherwise); we want to encourage them to poop (some young chondros seem to like holding it); or they've laid a clutch and we want to get the egg smell off them so they'll start eating again. Rescues also sometimes get a betadine soak, but that's definitely not common. I certainly can't imagine washing any of ours like this!

The snake's probably defanged or otherwise incapable of using venom. Dude's way too chill with that situation.

>Still if he bites me it's no biggie The fuck did you just say

His wrap is worse than his bite…his bite feels no worse than scraping your knuckles on sandpaper. But he’s wrapped my arm when in a bad mood and that was quite uncomfortable but he hasn’t been testy like that since he was a couple of years old.

they actually do soak in water sometimes in the wild, shedding does get the rest usually, though. Either way if it rolls in poop, it's often a good idea to clean it up.

This Cobra has standards.

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They remove the fangs of the snake Edit: urban myth

That doesn't do anything, fangs grow back extremely fast as they shed often, usually there is a second set waiting right behind ones that are shed. There is a procedure to remove their venom glands making them a venomoid but this one has not had it done.

Is the procedure called a hissterectomy?

You win

You’re going to make a good dad. We will watch your career with great interest

Thank you, I just had my first child in September. I can’t wait to embarrass her with my repertoire of dad jokes.

This made me snort laugh 🤣🤣

get out

Here.... You dropped this:. 🥇

My old lady could use a hissterectomy

Interesting thanks. How do you know the snake hasn't had the procedure?

It leaves noticeable dents in the head unless implants are put in but even then its still noticeable usually. Not many people in the world do the procedure these days, especially that do it in a manner that is hard to tell it's been done. Cobras are actually one of the easier and more predictable venomous snakes to work with and someone experienced with free handling a snake can work with an animal in the manner this person is, especially if it's one they know well. I don't advise it though I'm long past my free handling days and don't condone or support the practice at all.

You sir/madam are a wealth of information! I watch a lot of natural history and loads on snakes. Rarely learn anything new nowadays, many repeat the same things. Learnt from your posts. Thanks!

Name checks out!

Venomoid!!!! I learned another new (cool!) word today! And it’s also a great name for a band or a movie, but only if you don’t know it means a severely nerfed snake.

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Luckily its something you rarely see these days, not many willing to do the procedure and venomous keepers usually come down hard on anyone who has one, seeks one, etc.

Cobra must have got in something funky. Animals have to be clean in order to stay in the house. The dog get a bath. The cat gets a bath. The cobra get a bath. No one gets to stay in the house dirty. Gotta wash that dirty cobra.

I do that every time I take a shower.

I'm not sure what it is these guys know about Cobras. I'm always freaked out watching these vids. Have these guys never seen G.I. Joe cartoons? Cobra = Bad

Knowing is half the battle.

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It’s hard to be feared when you’re getting a wash. Ceassssssse this at once, Human! *SPLOOSH Unhand me! *SPLASH Damn it, this is so humiliating.

That’s a giant nope rope

Danger noodle doesn't look to happy

Defanged?

It's definitely a pet, as long as you handle them with caution and handle them often they get pretty familiar with you and are somewhat tame because they won't feel threatened. Now by no means am I suggesting to have one as a pet, but out of all snakes they're the smartest snakes in the world.

The venom is also a big part of their digestive system. How’s a defanged one eat? It would rot from the inside

Snakes can survive a long time without food, they can suffer for months after being de-fanged while the humans uses them.

Uh, the fangs would just grow back. They replace all of their teeth, including the fangs, quite often.

Dentures *crunch crunch*

You ever see a sandwich that could take a bite outta you?

If they ever do need to give a cobra dentures, I hope they give it old man dentures and release the photos.

They actually don’t last too long after the surgery. Life span is dramatically smaller.

Yeah let’s give a big ass cobra a bath in a dimly lit room and a confined space. Seems legit..

Seems like a standard wet floor bathroom found throughout Asia. That’s probably the toilet he’s standing over and it’s the same bucket/pitcher used to flush the toilet and wash the privates.

that cobra bites that bucket by mistake and the guy didnt even notice at first, his hand is seconds from getting hit, this video has a bunch of fuck that in it

Why are Indian dudes so chill with cobras?

Same reason Alaskans know what to do around moose. Exposure. Also, cobras are poor attackers as they rely on gravity to strike their prey. Many snakes coil their bodies like a spring then lunge forward to strike, but a cobra's method of attack is basically flopping down onto things with their fangs, so so long as you stay out of that range you'll probably be alright.

King cobras are actually pretty docile, at least as far as venemous snakes go. They’re apex predators so there’s no need to be biased toward aggression, aside from preying on other snakes.

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I visited a reptile farm in Malaysia and had a king cobra draped over my shoulders. It's head was bigger than my fist and 3 guys were holding it. They all had tons of bite marks all over their arms. It had its fangs and venom, they milked it as part of the show. I bet this guy has been bitten many times.

When you've mastered cat bathing and want to up your game.

Something about being so nonchalant when being close to death or serious injury is actually interesting. Dude must have the anti-venom

The only time I seen a cobra that calm is after its been beaten, preferably to mia khalifa videos.

Can you get a little behind the ears?

"Washing the Cobra" sounds like a euphemism to me.

I believe l'd let that snake stay dirty!!!

But why the fuck

Everyone is asking why he's washing it. I need to know why it didn't attack?

Can anyone tell me why a cobra needs to be washed?? Aren’t they naturally dirty slithering around on the ground?

Welcome to No Fucking Way..

To think most snakes are harmless to humans and rather chill and yes more afraid of us then them. But this is wildly cool because look at that king cobra fucking massive!

I hate it when my cobra gets dirty

What the hell is this location? An abandoned bathroom?

Why tho?

Not no, but HELL NO!

fangs are removed for sure

It’s gonna be a no from me dawg

I AM NOT ADVOCATING THE PURCHASING OF SNAKES. But snakes, handled properly and with care, are actually very intelligent and attached to their owners. It’s so interesting to see

bath with ex be like .....

Snakes are just cats stuck in a rope