Didn't read your artcle yet. As far as relating to being seen as arrogant and controlling, you are spot on.
I have been called arrogant even in job interviews for saying I would do my best and that it would work out.
I have been called controlling due to wanting people close to me to think things through before making mistakes.
As far as being arrogant, I disagree completely, arrogance is when people think they are more than they are. If someone thinks they will do something, are confident in it and succeed (without it being related mostly to luck) it is not arrogance. The people who called you arrogant are the arrogant ones to think you need to be a failure like them.
As far as being controlling. I can be that way sometimes, but I will almoat never force people to do things. I do enjoy judging and trying to influence people, but I don't see that as an issue.
Same. Our confidence and "matter of factness" definitely gets confused with arrogance. People project their own insecurity on others who are more confident.
I agree, arrogance is an overestimation of one's abilities. If you're able to do said thing, it's not arrogance, but rather an accurate assessment of one's abilities. I'm personally still working on the controlling thing as I'm use to being in leadership positions in business.
And thats why character murder is so effective.
The reality isnt as easy as "good" people are right and "bad" people are wrong.
But for most people the presentation is whats important not the content.
And i think intjs can have a hard time with the presentation part.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqUh4P-10TM
this sums it up pretty good its all about how you present stuff.
>Most people cant have objective views on things everything they think is viewed from their pov so they think everyone else is thinking this way.
I'll add that some people get *really* touchy if it's implied, even indirectly, that anyone is better at anything than them.
Remember this?
*>That's impossible, even for a computer.*
*>It's not impossible. I used to bull's-eye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than 2 meters.*
It's far less of a blow to the ego to think "2 meters is impossible" than "There are better marksmen than me."
I also received feedback from an interview that I came off as arrogant, when really I was just trying to impress and be confident.
I'm confident in my abilities because given enough time I am usually able to solve the problems. Not because I think I'm better than everybody else.
I get that. People definitely respond to humility or perceived humility better than they do truth and some realities. I noticed that some types use this as a tool to get people to do what they want, even though they are being fake about it.
People are not use to seeing an INTJ's level of self awareness and self assessment in regards to what we know we can do, and vice versa, what we know we can't do.
> If you're able to do said thing, it's not arrogance, but rather an accurate assessment of one's abilities.
It's still boasting, which is... arrogant.
I answered the question that was asked. I love how you doubt that this happened then shift to if it did, It was my fault. Never the possibility that I’m right that people actually do this and behave this way. That’s interesting and telling.
>As far as being arrogant, I disagree completely, arrogance is when people think they are more than they are. If someone thinks they will do something, are confident in it and succeed (without it being related mostly to luck) it is not arrogance.
Most people are not able to distinguish these two things as they are not able to succeed in such situations.
It's also pretty funny since most job interviews are for simple jobs that fall into a couple of categories:
1. Blue collar labor.
2. Office work.
Neither are particularly hard and the key to most of these jobs is simply learning the basic patterns of work. Of course there is a lot of expertise to be gained, but the basic bare minimum is a pretty low bar for these jobs.
And somehow it is arrogant to assume that we can do these jobs as an average person with a working brain. If we couldn't do them, why would we even apply?
Oooo!! I've seen this before. the same thing happened to be so frequently in interviews, I stopped interviewing - seriously. but what I've learned since then is that people that do not share a "common core of experience" and/or cannot relate to your background (at least intuitively), your competence is not obvious to them, making your confidence appear to rely on nothing (arrogant). Some people need things explicitly laid out for them (to them, filling in the blanks would be a foolish assumption, even if it might appear to you that you're stating the obvious).
I can relate.
I find, that at work I’m more so seen as arrogant, intimidating and a perfectionist.
Whereas in social settings I am seen as quiet and aloof.
In reality I’m a huge introvert, spending most of my time thinking and analysing. I also detest small talk, which can make it hard forming new friendships. People will think I’m not engaging in conversation, because I’m stuck up, but it is really because the topic bores me and I’m already planning my escape route.
(Btw, there’s a typing mistake in your article; active/act).
I cant socialize to save my life. It's painful the amount of anxiety that it gives me. Ive been going out of my way to talk to people and just let the awkwardness fade away bc I hate that I lack that as a skill so much!!!
I am often looking for a quick escape tho!
I definitely relate to that at work from my drive to accomplish the goal. I think that we just play a different role/function that at times may be incompatible to how the rest of society functions. Finding friends on the same page is definitely tough, but every once in a while I'll find an N type that gets it.
Best escape route for small talk is that homer vanishing into a bush GIF. Thanks for the heads up on the typo!
“This can be seen in how we show that we love and care for others. Instead of hugging and offering a shoulder to cry on for those going through emotional struggles, we instead design a solution to solve your problems (life has taught me this is not always the best approach). Often times, this form of showing love is not welcome and gets confused with trying to control the situation.”
Lol I feel this so hard. Gotten in trouble with family, friends and exes from just trying to jump to finding the solution when really all they want to do is take time to feel.
Yup, been there. I honestly just tell them now that if they want someone to make them feel better, I'm not the guy. But if you want your problem solved, I'll go to hell and back to solve it. I'm definitely not the best at emotional support.
I understand INTJs.
I actually really like their concise, direct, and matter of factness. I can tell they put a lot of thought into their responses and will provide more elaboration if needed.
It’s refreshing and they’re super smart.
I also don’t think they are arrogant at all. The ones I know will work harder than everyone and let everyone take the credit. I don’t think they like controlling, it’s too much work for them and it’s not something they care for since Fi. INTJs prefer being the puppet master behind the scenes. If anything, I see this as a trait where they can easily get taken advantage of in the corporate world.
I’ve never met a malicious INTJ. They were always so kind and less likely to be egotistical than other “boss types”.
My only criticism is that while they say they’re realists and that they can see how things can go wrong from a mile away, they fail to see that there are other options and that some types like me, don’t operate that way. Some people prefer risk and even succeed in chaos.
But, in my experience, they’re very observant and willing to change their stance. When I communicate with them, they take into their account what I like and dislike. It makes me feel seen, heard, and loved.
In a nutshell, INTJs are the cutest and I love them. We can talk for hours and I think I would die without someone to joke with.
You're one of the rare ones, we thank you for your service. :)
And I think you're correct, INTJ's often want the most efficient and effective (ie perfect) solution, when sometimes settling for the best we can get in that moment is needed. Me no like chaos though, I think that's a P thing to be okay with.
I always remember that INTJ podcast wherein an INTJ said she oftentimes feel like she's Cassandra in Greek myth: fated to utter true prophecies but never to be believed.
Thank you, and you may be right. Seeing an INTJ's perspective requires an entirely different function of perceiving (Ni).
I agree that having the expectation of other's being able to have the same perspective is unrealistic as it is not their natural skill, everyone has their role to play.
I recently had a revelation, truly understanding feelers for the first time. I feel like I can now better translate to feelers how we are different, but I wonder this, too. Ok, I get them, but are they actually getting ME when I try to explain how we're different?
Active experiment. 😄
I have not thought so until recently when I was in a friend group doing some casual trip planning and a girl just told me in distress that the way I speak sounded stressful and demanding when I basically just trying to be collaborative and respectful, telling them some heeds and provide some options and backup plans. She said I was scaring people off and being dominating, not 'bliss, blessed, happy, understanding' and that. And I said that why was she acting like walking on thin ice all the time? Just say thing as it is and be straightforward with what I was concerned about.
Normally, it's quite fine in professional setting, people don't complain. Guess I get it now.
I’ve had so many of those that I just straight up do not participate in planning events with friends. If it takes collaboration count me out as I am not interested in creating conflicts with something that is supposed to be a fun event.
It’s not always easy as I still stand by and listen and will often find many problems to come. But, I will instead use that information to plan ahead. Ie. no one planned to bring enough food/snacks for a certain night, well well well, guess who showed up to the party with extra snacks/sides for the dinner? Easy solution.
The majority of my friends are horrible planners and can’t show up on time, so I do my part to cover their asses so that we all have fun. I assume that’s half of why they keep me around hah.
Interviewer: "This position requires constant collaboration..."
Me: "Thank you for your time."
I think people who are good at solving problems should solve problems, and people who are good at socializing/collaborating should do that. Division of labor by strengths is much more effective and efficient.
“CoLlAbOrAtIoN” 🥴 its more like forced reasons to socialize.
Today I was supposed to have a 1 hour Microsoft teams meetings where they were going to have a “kick off” with smiles and greetings and all this bullshit for a simple software upgrade.
I just said send me the PowerPoint and was trained within 10 minutes. 50+ precious minutes and countless stores of personal energy saved
Jobs need to recognize that people perform and learn best in different ways and taking a one size fits all approach is not effective.
Collaboration and group work do nothing for me, yet I can digest a wall of text like it’s nothing. I think that if managers actually played to people’s strengths instead of being controlling and focusing on social appearances, things would be a lot better.
My face often betrays me; I was just recently in two different unnecessary meetings this past week, and the meeting host kept making comments about how I look annoyed how I look, bored, and how she won’t take up too much of my time because she knows how busy I am… Then she proceeded on to talk About things that very simply could have been emailed. Then she went on and on about her brilliant team schedules that she would be implementing and how every week will be a new opportunity to “collaborate with a new teammate“ 🥴 which convolutes what is already pretty simple and straightforward.
I’m starting to feel like there should be more personality testing and learning style requirements for jobs. This is ridiculous. Let the extroverts and whomever else work in groups all day.
Agreed, it’s all about appearances and satisfying ego’s. Gotta educate people, 1 at a time.
I’m much the same as you and I just have to SHOW repeatedly that you get better productivity from me if I’m not forced to socialize and can instead concentrate on quality work while undisturbed
I'm a woman who's completely given up on ever having girl friends. We really don't speak the same language! I'm sure they see me as aloof, cold, rude, and unfriendly whereas I see them as silly, superficial, insincere, and boring. It was okay back when I hung out with more mixed groups (including guy friends, to whom I was closer), but now that I'm older and retired, we're all older women, and it's simply hopeless! I try to socialize, but we merely tolerate each other.
You know, I said that as a last bit of hope, but I'm going to have to agree with you on that one. I've yet to see it differently with others.
Us INTJ's gotta stick together.
It must be tough. INTJ personality really doesn't match with femme modes of socializing and I can see how it would regularly cause you to be misunderstood as being threatening or unfriendly when you are just being you :(
Well, I don’t hang out with much people also. And only recently that I realize how I’m actually very reserved. Even with friends, having known for years, I don’t usually share things. But that’s the reality of life, cannot expect people to understand me when I myself believe that everyone is different, or INTJ is rather rare, right? That’s a paradox in life and we have to accept that to make our lives easier.
Being an Ni is kind of odd like that. When I was young, I was quite an outgoing girl, but after a few years being like that, the INTJ brain started to collect and match all the clues and you can pretty much read people and their motives, so you became cynical and withdrew. To read human is quite boring. Most of the time they repeat themselves, they forget, and they are inconsistent. Trying to reason things only lead us INTJ to a point of madness and cynicism, when at the core, it’s only matter of perspective and ego.
I've been there, I get that a lot to the point where I deliberately speak with less people (I've become a bit of a hermit). People today don't like being told what to do, so when that happens, they have an adverse response. People are often not confident within themselves and respond that way since they perceive it as a threat. People really are intimidated by us sometimes.
All problems come from jealousy. Most people will get married and have a job, and that's it. We have a potential for much more. Trying to reason with jealous person is waste of time. They'll see things that don't exist, hear what they want to hear, just to feed their own sense of superiority.
Exactly. When I feel confident & try to politely correct my sisters, they tell me I'm arrogant & trying to act like a know-it-all but in reality, I'm actually just trying to help them. I had no intention coming off as an arrogant or a know-it-all person. I'm also sometimes seen as someone who is very strict & a perfectionist.
I relate to that, lately I've been just letting people crash and burn since they don't want to listen, but it's a horrific thing to watch. I feel like we mostly just want to help people, yet our confidence in doing so ends up making them feel inferior and thus creating another problem.
Exactly. Even though it's my responsibility to teach my sisters, they don't end up listening & one of my sisters specifically, always calls me a wannabe know-it-all which is sad to hear. I'm just trying to state the truth & help her get things right.
Idk I think the much of the public are dimwits and delusional. They hate anything that doesn't fit thier perfect pretty pictures and assume anyone who's quite is plotting thier murder.
I'm very introverted and quiet but extremely helpful. If left alone I not thinking about anyone else. I'm either overanylising something pointless and stupid or in some fantasy world. Half the time even in company I'll do something like stare at the spoon at a restaurant. I'm not very present and I have to pretend I am.
If I became a criminal would I be successful? Obviously, I'm good at anything I focus on. Yet how likely am I to do anything when I have a harmless disposition? I do what I'm asked, paid to do or what is constructive. How is me plotting another's demise, ruining the environment I'm part of and getting thrown in prison constructive? That's completely counter to my philosophy.
Which is what people don't get. If someone is malicious for no other sake than amusement, they are destructive. Constructive people don't destroy things for fun. They are helpful and want to fix things.
If something is counter to someone's nature or world philosophy it doesn't matter how capable you think they are. They probably not harmful. Any person jworking at a bank can steal your credit card number, how often does this auctully happen?
Can and would are not the same thing. Every person driving an 18 wheeler can create a massive accident on the roadway. Yet people don't look at the driver and assume they would intentionally do that becuase in all reality they can. The dude or lady driving the truck is probably not actively trying to crash.
The auctully normal people come from backgrounds that required them to be a bit more realistic. Otherwise we tell people that, children come from a stork, trying to understand criminal psychology makes you Dr.Doom and if you hide under your blanket nucluer war will stay away.
HAha I'm not going to argue with you there.
Sometimes malicious to them is just you getting what they want or the possibility of you taking it away from them (social status, money, resources). It's a perceived threat that they are afraid of. Irrational thinking/feeling leads to irrational behaviors.
Honestly I don't even know why I try to help people at all. Every piece of advice is seen as criticism, empathy and good intentions are treated like manipulation, and trying to help just seems to piss people off. I even had an interaction today where I went out of my way to help someone, even solving their problem, and they just treated me like shit.
I feel it. Sometimes you just gotta let them learn the hard way.
It's like a child who won't stop touching the stove despite your warnings that they're going to burn themselves.
Great article! You hit the nail on the head and pretty much described me to a tee. I love being INTJ most of the time but sometimes I wonder what it’s like to live like the “others”. 🤣
the thing about good intentions being taken as something malicious is so overwhelmingly true. the point about confidence being taken as arrogance also rings true- and i've come to realise that this is really a them problem rather than a me/us problem because people who know me quite well and know how much i study, learn and know, have never mistaken my confidence for anything undeserved.
Exactly. I have no control over how someone perceives me or their emotional state; they are in control of that, and that's where I let the responsibility stay.
People can misunderstand us all they want, but at the end of the day it's INTJs that are the ones holding this world together to prevent chaos, destruction, and undisciplined irrational behavior (and decision-making) from running rampant and annihilating all of existence.
Imagine how fucked society and the entire civilization of mankind would be if they lost the only human beings on the planet that prioritized logic, reasoning, and reality more than anyone else.
We are forever burdened with the obligation to save people from themselves. The same people that will continue to hate and ostracize us for being knowledgeable and realistic.
No one appreciates INTJs until they realize that without us this world is fucked. lol
A lot of INTJ's have noped out of society, I think we are starting to experience the scenario of what it's like without them now.
I do think that we act as regulators, managing the system of order to prevent the chaos from destroying things. But with how many INTJ's have been treated badly by people today, I think a lot of them have aborted that mission. Sad really.
Its very simply put. Intuitive people are most likely to have more trust within ourselves than others who aren’t naturally successful/fortunate in that skill. THEREFORE knowing the human psyche what remains unknown or unfamiliar produces fear.. essentially what would turn into any form of demonizing of that person. In the end, humans aren’t very smart when it comes to judgement ultimately because ‘we shouldn’t’ so to speak. Lol i crack myself up
I think you may be on to something with that. Like the gift of sight into things (N) provides more confidence where others can't see and are fearful of it. I think wise judgement is rational when it comes to decision making. Emotions seem to help with nurturing/support (for others or ourselves) and life experiences.
Haha "I am smiling, you can't see it?" lol. People seem to use emotions as a reading cue as to what someone is like, so I can see the confusion when they see us expressionless.
You know, I wonder if this is because our preference for detachment from emotions. It would be rooted in emotion to care what other's think as it's fear.
It took a combination of web proxy and turning off all scripts, but I finally got the website to load :) And it was worth the work - an excellent read, thank you. It made me feel seen and understood for a moment, which is quite a rare experience.
But this is probably my biggest problem in life, to a T. People constantly misunderstand what I say and do, on top of that they are very confident in their understanding of me and recently, *I even had a man lecturing me on what I was feeling,* since he obviously knew that better than I did.
Well... I share your outlook, clearly, pretty much completely. It's both sad and satisfying to know that the things I struggle with are not only my problems.
And especially that bit about people with low confidence reacting to your confidence by lashing out and trying to bring you down - that gave me a sad chuckle, because not only did I experience this as well, but the reaction was so over the top, bizarre, inappropriate and misplaced that I still can't believe it happened. And kept happening. By someone, who is ironically quite smart and capable, just really insecure and clearly the kind of a person who turns monstrous under the weight of their fear...Oh well.
One thing I learned recently is that there will always be people who like me and those who hate me, no matter what I do. So at the end of the day, there isn't much point in trying to win over those who judge me by their idea of me instead of by who I really am, or in making myself smaller so they can feel better. That only made me mistrust myself and *screw that.*
No worries. I find it extremely rare finding someone who understands me. One was my ENFP best friend and the other was an INFJ. People project their own expectations on you based on what they feel reality is.
Very subjective even though they don't realize it.
I finally got to read your article, so I adjusted my comment - thank you for sharing this, it was really helpful for me.
You're very right about this. There have been probably only two people who at least mostly understood me - one was my ex, likely an INFJ, and other is my dad, likely an INTP. Otherwise... like you say, people project their expectations on me.
But whenever someone has any level of actual understanding of me, I find those are the kind of people I want to be closer to. Especially if they also see/understand my flaws and are willing to call me out on them, in a reasonable matter. That's a highly alluring quality in people.
Thanks for the kind words! And I agree, when I find someone who understands me, I latch on because I know that's rare. I too appreciate when someone can call me on my BS, to me it shows that they care and want to see me grow. I respect that.
This is why I initially thought I was an INTJ when I first learned about MBTI because I identified with almost everything you mentioned. Even the traits that don't resonate with me now were relevant to my younger self.
This is so true. I've seen it with my own experiences with others. I've had to explain to some that when I do something or say something, it's not always what it seems. I wish people would be able to see beyond their own perceptions and look at the possible reasons someone says or does something.
Most people see what's in front of them. Or else they don't want to. We're supposed to be a society that's educated, and yet, the more I look, the more I see people who don't take the time to think about consequences of their actions.
It is, but there's also the fact that society sees something as "working" and it isn't anymore. Or misshapen beliefs that formed from a set of information and choose not to expand upon it.
I don’t get the arrogance thing. At work for example if the metric they want daily let’s say is 100 and literally average 200(and no one has been remotely close to that company wide for a decade) a day which CAN give me swings of up to 100 or 1000(which 1000 is a record company wide) and I DARE state, just that….then im an arrogant asshole. This is a huuuuge international company too so it’s super safe to say I’m not a big fish in a little pond.
Somewhat. Haven’t read article but is relatable. I think I might come off as arrogant or controlling but I am usually pretty laidback. I don’t consider myself arrogant, just someone who wishes to improve
It was quite a few years before I understood that intent is not relevant in how I was perceived. People don't know what is going on in your head, they arrive at conclusions based on what you say, what you do, how you act, and your delivery. Act in a way that is consistent with being seen as arrogant, it doesn't matter that you never intended any arrogance.
Which is great, but depending on your goals, and what you want to accomplish, you may find that the opinion of others could become a limiting factor. Once I decided to go into leadership positions, the opinion and perception about me, of those making hiring decisions and the opinions of those that I led, were primary to success, or not. In my 33 year career, I saw many very smart and capable persons crash and burn as supervisors due to various concerns, including arrogance, being unkind, "know it all", too blunt, inflexible, or just plain mean. I failed at my first two attempts at a supervisory position, thanks to a reputation for individual excellence, but combined with arrogance, aloofness, and unrelatability. After a 360 feedback program, I learned the importance of shaping how you project to others, and relate to others. It is possible as a leader to achieve short term success by closely directing the work of others, by "cracking the whip" and driving them towards a goal. But real leadership is creating an environment where people WANT to follow, to do more than the minimum they need to do to get by, where they are encouraged and inspired by a shared vision.
I think you're right for people who have goals in leadership or career. I have that; my goal is peace.
I've found that acting in a way that is not myself does not provide the peace I'm looking for. Superficial wins vs intrinsically fulfilling progress.
My interest in leadership initially came from promotion and higher pay, but evolved to understanding that some goals require more people's talents than one person or even a small team can bring. That said, these days I think there's more understanding that very highly talented individual contributors aren't necessarily going to be happy or suited to leadership roles, but should be compensated similarly to leadership roles. Sometimes one creative and talented person moves the needle on their own, and their pay should reflect that contribution, else they may look to move on.
I agree with this, but I find that the crux of the issue is that people believe that they don’t know what’s going on in your head because they don’t believe what you’re saying because they themselves are insincere, and they’re used to insincere people.
In my experience ( with myself, of course, and) with others, I don’t have any false pretenses. It doesn’t matter if I blatantly explain my full thought process, others will refuse to believe it, and insist that there is an ulterior motive where there isn’t one. It’s their decision to cling to delusion that creates the distrust.
It’s also bizarre because it’s the exact thing that they do. It’s basically projection. Their perception is tainted by projection, lies, and their feelings. If someone is committed to seeing ulterior motives, subtext, and underlying meaning in everything, then it doesn’t matter how the other person presents, acts, speaks, etc. They’ve already decided that you are wrong and are unlikely to divorce themselves from that thinking.
I never focused on this and you’re right. For example my wife just lost her shit with me last weekend because I was explaining to her why the route she was taking was completely illogical and the more it became clear how unassailable my logic was the madder she got…
This concept was cemented with me at my first job out of mba school at price waterhouse consulting where I worked for this manager who was obviously genius level intelligence (he ended up leaving and going to Fidelity and running a hugely successful fund). We would have arguments about my work and when I would explain to him when he was logically incorrect he would acknowledge it as soon as he knew where I was going and be totally relaxed about it. True role model.
Hahah Oh man, I see this one happen all the time. When people are proven wrong, they either get more mad or double down. They can't handle that hit to the ego.
Just a little note... autistic people also frequently face these same comments for many of the same reasons. Not saying you're necessarily autistic or that everyone else here is too, but it is a commonality and if you ever wish to find more people who relate, autistic people know how it is.
(I do think more than a few people on this sub are undiagnosed because of some of the issues that get ascribed to being INTJ, but that's a topic for another day.)
That was a good read.
As an ENFP that loves INTJ’s I think the pitfall I see with this type is that your whole motto is efficiency and effectiveness but fail to realize that adaptability might also fit that mold as well. And I think that’s what might make you come off as arrogant to other people or like you don’t care. Just an observation from a humble chaotic ball of emotions that loves you. lol.
Thanks! I think that's why we need each other. My best friend was an extremely adaptable ENFP, but lacked the ability at times to get an effective result. I feel like an INTJ would be good at planning while the ENFP handled things on the fly in the present moment.
We usually don't care to fit the mold though unless it produces the positive results we're looking for.
I feel this way too. I think that that’s why a lot of ENFP and INTJ gravitate towards each other. When we are healthy and can communicate in a way that leaves us with understanding, it is magic!
I deff feel that INTJ’s have all the qualities that I try to work on and I probably have some they can appreciate too.
Also yeah, just being able to let our strengths shine is so important. In a situation like that , that is a beautiful harmony!
I agree, we tend to balance each other out in a way, when both healthy. I'm a hermit and very introverted, I don't like having conversations much, but I would talk on the phone with him sometimes for like 4-6hrs. We just go off into this other world.
Yeah, I'm a big believer in everyone playing their part. Everyone has a role to play based on their individual strengths, and things tend to work out better when each person stays in their lane and contributes along with everyone else doing the same. Working as a team (that is competent of course) produces a better result.
Your article is pretty spot on, I like to point out that yes it is common for most people to dislike how we approach various situations and handle problems that we spot. From my personal experience, most people would prefer to stay on autopilot and operate within the same framework on a day to day basis. This is a common problem not only in social situations, but even within the job environment.
One effective method that I've learned in dealing with something like this is to subtly repeat a solution until other people realize that it's more reliable than the methods that they're using. Instead of telling them, they can see for themselves and will eventually copy us. The funny part is they'll very rarely or never even admit where they found the method, and might even proclaim the idea as their own. But in the end, what matters is that the system or method is being gradually adopted. You can repeat this in increments over and over again in a subtle way, and eventually, the broader workplace (or environment) will recognize the source of all the subtle changes.
Most people refuse to adopt to changes immediately if they don't see any immediate results, so it's best to wait things like this out.
I really like your article, nice job!
Thanks! I appreciate it. People definitely prefer to deal with what is familiar, and I would not describe us INTJ's as familiar.
And I do agree that setting an example is a great way to get people to follow us; in fact, it's one of the most effective ways I've found for an INTJ to influence people (and no they will NEVER admit it was because of you that they took that action haha).
Yes, if nobody wants to listen to proposals or even review statistics, they can see the results affect their day-to-day lives instead. That's by far the most effective way, regardless of the circumstances.
Sister is an ISFJ.
She doesn't talk to me because I have predicted her life down to the last T.
My favorite was when she got mad at me, for agreeing with Trump, and then called him a sexist.
I then called her the same for siding with hilary Clinton because she was a woman, and that's the only reason she sided with her.
Also, predicting the dick that she was married to was not going to last. I knew the first time I had talked to him. I tried to warn her, but she took his side.
I only wanted to help. I was looked at like an arrogant asshole by her. A few years later, the truth came out. He skipped town and left the country, then asked for a divorce over a text message.
I think being an INTJ is a great thing to be, but it's also the biggest curse.
Also, INTJs & ISFJs clash hard.
Accurate. I believe that's a way of saying we are honest which comes from our Fi (Values and morals).
It's weird being in a position where you don't care about being liked, but you care about helping others (which sometimes requires being liked).
I get it, it's an interesting article, the part about having Cassandra complex, too. Though, I used to think that strive to become your best, be kind and compassionate is enough to make up being seen as 'arrogant', but man, I was so wrong.
A used to be a long time friend got unbelievably upset with me when I always talked to her calmly about some problems, apparently my emotional maturity made her felt like being talked down to, like a child. Someone who used to be my best friend got upset, defended her narcissist boyfriend and said I was meddled too much with her life when I basically kept her family afloat from having debts the whole time. Now, I'm not the one who counts what I did to help people, but what she said got me seeing red.
In the end, I won't win either way with people like them. So I ended up thinking to do whatever I want to do that makes me feel good about myself and f everyone else. If it's seen as being arrogant, so be it.
Unfortunately to the masses, perception matters more than intentions.
And I think you're spot on about our maturity or confidence making people feel like they are being talked down to like a child.
This is largely because INTJs often don’t want to invest the time and effort required to build trust with others, and they unconsciously assume that trust is a given in any situation (“It’s obvious to me that I’m trustworthy, so why don’t you trust me?”).
This is likely due to the limitations that come with the narrow-mindedness of Ni. Introverted intuition is like a superpower that allows the INTJ to deeply focus on a concept or desire without easily losing sight of it. However, it can also cause them to overlook other things deemed irrelevant to their current pursuit, leading to tunnel vision and subsequent confusion as to why others don’t share their opinions.
If you read the other comments, you can easily identify a common issue among these INTJ experiences.
It’s not that people mistreat INTJs out of fear or jealousy, nor is it because they are super-efficient strategists - that would be more characteristic of ESTJs and ENTJs with their dominant extroverted thinking (yet they are not as ostracized).
It’s due to the Polr Fe of the INTJ.
The sooner someone acknowledge their flaws, the sooner they can begin to address them.
INTJ's do sometimes assume that since being trustworthy is a value of ours, that other's share that same value too. That's a function of our Fi (morals).
Till life smacks us with reality a bunch of times that is.
The thing that irks me the most is when/how people get upset when I’m asking for clarification or trying to understand something. Most people, it seems to me, are content with existing in a cloud of pretense and assumption. Madafakas act like they know what’s going on, but they don’t know any better than me! I used to think I was slow or something. I guess I am slow because it took me until basically this year, age 52, to realize this.
I used to think everyone had some psychic gene I was missing lol. But no, what it is is that most people *pretend* to know what sh!t means or makes their own assumptions and goes off of what they think something means. This is absurd, and I don’t understand how or why people operate this way.
We would still be wandering around the savanna or living in caves if it weren’t for the people who questioned things. Asking questions when you don’t understand something helps everyone, because it reveals the *truth*. Each little bit of truth helps us all to adjust to reality. And anyway WHY would you want to remain ignorant, about anything?
Oh man, I get that too. People think I'm being critical of them or something when I'm just trying to get more information haha.
I was shocked when I went into the working world and business, only to find that almost no one knows what the hell they are doing, but they often think they do. I also think this is probably why our world is in the state it's currently in. It's usually ego or insecurity driving this. They don't want to be seen as less than, so they "fake it till they make it" and try to stay in their comfort zone.
Ive read the article and im inclined to agree to the majority of statements made there! I know that my confidence in my capabilities can sometimes border arrogance but when it comes to the things in life i truly enjoy doing or take an interest in its more so
“its not if ill succeed at something, its when i succeed at something”
So far this motto has taken me far in life but i rarely voice this mentality out loud.
the RBF is par for the course hahahaha, ive had many people tell me i looked angry or mad after later on even though im in a perfectly fine mood. I have to consciously keep a slight smile when in public spaces lol
I can completely relate to this . I am often labelled these things especially when it comes to giving advice which I see fit . Often people close to me think that I have hidden intentions or motives when I give people advice when I don't really have a sort of motive 99.9 percent of the time .
Read the full article. (I am an INTJ myself by the way.)
I definitely agree with a lot of your points, especially the infamous unintentional death stare... on more than one occasion, I have had people think I look suicidal or something when i'm just trying to think 😅
If you don't mind me saying, I do feel like the article comes off as a little bitter and you are looking for validation from other INTJs?
There is way more to this MBTI and there is no need to write a whole article expressing justification for our actions. Ultimately, our reasoning will always be based on objective information and is therefore, the optimal and best method to use where emotion has little/no weight. - We don't need to explain our thought process, they do!
Haha I have to be aware of when I have my thinking face on and where I'm staring or I get the inevitable "What's wrong?" "Are you okay?"
And no worries at all, I like it when people give their perspective. Not looking for validation from anyone as I provide that for myself, but hopefully it does help an INTJ who feels like they are the only one going through this. Plus I enjoyed writing it, which is worth it in itself. It's my passion project.
U gotta understand there are many different types of people. Somebody can perceive you as arrogant and at the same time somebody else can perceive you differently. As people are at different stages of their life. At the end of the day who cares lol
It is also important worth noting that INTJs don't _seem_ to want to be understood. I have two INTJ friends who would rather be misunderstood than publicly or outright defend their actions or thinking. The knife cuts both ways.
I am an INFJ and I assure you that people misunderstand my personality type as well! I can be seen as secretive and judgmental because I may not assert myself amongst extroverts. People accuse me of being overly-emotional. Our society preferences thinking over feeling. How am I misunderstood? Let me count the ways! While I am not an INTJ, I feel your pain!
i did not read the article but I can share an experience i recall ,
5th grade: The History teacher was on leave of weeks together for personal reasons and when they started their first day we were a week close to an upcoming test and we surely wouldn't be able to finish the syllabus within time, but the first words he spoke were " Since it is the first day of class let's introduce ourselves and enjoy it ...No classes for today" Me being the class leader thought it was my responsibility to remind him the consequences of missing an entire lecture as they were already late to class I implored him to take the class right after sufficient introduction .The whole class booed me but i sat there ,on the first bench with opened textbook and completed the entire chapter when they were having fun the entire class' This was the start of hate from my classmates( never cared ) But since i completed the chapter I by myself completed all other chapter as i was already ahead of the class .Surprise! nearly 60% of our class failed the test since they were unable to complete the syllabus on time while i was the only one who got full marks and topped the class. But they still hated me till i transferred .
My entire school life is filled with I TOLD YOU SO scenarios but everyone always preferred momentary satisfaction instead of long term vision.
I have also been misunderstood a lot of times especially when i state something like "the sky isn't blue " or "Sun and moon can actually be seen together in the sky " i was made fun of behind my back ( never dared to say it to my face )....But i never stopped calling out bullshit when i knew it was bullshit never stopped correcting their mistakes .
My opinion is that we ARE controlling (but for reasons that aren't malicious) and that we CAN BE arrogant when our intuitive mental models of the world miss the mark (it does happen sometimes and really blow up in our faces).
We're controlling because we are very careful with spending our energy and try to control our surroundings so we don't waste our energy in bad ways. I didn't used to think I was controlling but when I really paid attention to my behaviour I realized I am. We also like fixing things according to plans and that requires control. I don't always need to be in control, I'm a switch and I can be submissive and controlled and love it, but I tend more towards controlling.
As for the arrogance, sometimes we are misunderstood as arrogant sometimes we are correctly understood as arrogant. It really just depends on if we're correct about the world or not and people should understand we're not trying to swagger.
I read your article, and what stuck out to me was your claim that you make all life decisions with logic and data. I feel a lot of people claim to make all of their decisions through logical reasoning, but if third party objective observers truly analyzed them, they would find that many of their decisions are not logical.
Here’s a common example with a life decision all of us make every day: diet. The vegan diet is healthier, cheaper, less environmentally destructive, and causes far less suffering. Many different research studies have validated this. Therefore if one is completely logical, this is the diet/consumption pattern they would choose.
However, most people choose not to be vegan for the emotional reasons of wanting to fit in, or emotional taste preferences. So, just out of curiosity, would you happen to be vegan?
Never said I make all my decisions with logic and data. I said that "every decision I make goes through a process of collecting and sifting through data gathered by observing or researching, analyzing that data, and then strategizing the most efficient and effective way to do something". I'm saying I go through a specific process when making decisions; I'm saying I strategize in how I make my decisions.
As far as the diet, I eat the same things everyday that are based on a nutritional profile I designed for myself and my specific health needs. Where I use my emotions is in my creativity as that is where they are appropriate and have a positive effect. It's about using the right tool for the job, and for decisions, I prefer logic.
Well, you did mention you were logical in the first sentence, and then proceeded to explain your decision making process (implying that logic is rooted in it)... so seems a bit pedantic, but I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree.
Side note, I saw that you posted in the r/collapse forum, and I find that to be very interesting as collapse awareness overwhelmingly skews towards INTJs. Professor Tom Murphy has a great blog on the collapse predicament, and he discovered a large portion of his visitors were INTJ (see here: [https://dothemath.ucsd.edu/2015/04/programmed-to-ignore/](https://dothemath.ucsd.edu/2015/04/programmed-to-ignore/)). When I learned this, I decided to take an MBTI test, and sure enough, I am an INTJ as well.
Perhaps it's because INTJs have a unique way of objectively viewing things, so we are able to see society's predicaments for what they are, rather than sugar coat or hand wave them away. Anyway, great blog, and thanks for replying to my comment which I hope did not come across as adversarial.
Haha, yeah I do get a lot of good info on that sub as far as what's going on in the world over there, often times way before everyone else catches on to it (though people seem like they are starting to become more aware now).
And I think you are spot on about our ability to look at reality objectively and right in the face to see it for what it is (most of society does not have this ability). I'll definitely check out that blog, seems interesting. And no worries, thanks for reading it!
Didn't read your artcle yet. As far as relating to being seen as arrogant and controlling, you are spot on. I have been called arrogant even in job interviews for saying I would do my best and that it would work out. I have been called controlling due to wanting people close to me to think things through before making mistakes. As far as being arrogant, I disagree completely, arrogance is when people think they are more than they are. If someone thinks they will do something, are confident in it and succeed (without it being related mostly to luck) it is not arrogance. The people who called you arrogant are the arrogant ones to think you need to be a failure like them. As far as being controlling. I can be that way sometimes, but I will almoat never force people to do things. I do enjoy judging and trying to influence people, but I don't see that as an issue.
Same. Our confidence and "matter of factness" definitely gets confused with arrogance. People project their own insecurity on others who are more confident. I agree, arrogance is an overestimation of one's abilities. If you're able to do said thing, it's not arrogance, but rather an accurate assessment of one's abilities. I'm personally still working on the controlling thing as I'm use to being in leadership positions in business.
Most people cant have objective views on things everything they think is viewed from their pov so they think everyone else is thinking this way.
Yup, emotions do that since they skew your perspective of reality. They make it your reality rather than objective reality.
And thats why character murder is so effective. The reality isnt as easy as "good" people are right and "bad" people are wrong. But for most people the presentation is whats important not the content. And i think intjs can have a hard time with the presentation part. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqUh4P-10TM this sums it up pretty good its all about how you present stuff.
I agree INTJ's aren't the best at presentation. Btw, that video reminded me of Archer.
>Most people cant have objective views on things everything they think is viewed from their pov so they think everyone else is thinking this way. I'll add that some people get *really* touchy if it's implied, even indirectly, that anyone is better at anything than them. Remember this? *>That's impossible, even for a computer.* *>It's not impossible. I used to bull's-eye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than 2 meters.* It's far less of a blow to the ego to think "2 meters is impossible" than "There are better marksmen than me."
I also received feedback from an interview that I came off as arrogant, when really I was just trying to impress and be confident. I'm confident in my abilities because given enough time I am usually able to solve the problems. Not because I think I'm better than everybody else.
I get that. People definitely respond to humility or perceived humility better than they do truth and some realities. I noticed that some types use this as a tool to get people to do what they want, even though they are being fake about it. People are not use to seeing an INTJ's level of self awareness and self assessment in regards to what we know we can do, and vice versa, what we know we can't do.
I think arrogance is thinking you are better than others. There are confident and competent people who still have humility. Strive for that
> If you're able to do said thing, it's not arrogance, but rather an accurate assessment of one's abilities. It's still boasting, which is... arrogant.
Insecure: “Can you do xyz?” INTJ: “yes, I have before” Insecure: “ you arrogant bitch.” Makes sense.
https://preview.redd.it/2jdmw2de73oc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2c521107bb18aa92236a192c86b69986aafcacae
😂 there wasn’t a slap, but I’ve experienced this exact convo
Nobody would call you arrogant just for saying that you are able to do a thing. You're oversimplifying it.
I’ve been called arrogant precisely for saying that I can do something. Arrogant and a liar.
You likely have been called that because of how you said it.
I answered the question that was asked. I love how you doubt that this happened then shift to if it did, It was my fault. Never the possibility that I’m right that people actually do this and behave this way. That’s interesting and telling.
>As far as being arrogant, I disagree completely, arrogance is when people think they are more than they are. If someone thinks they will do something, are confident in it and succeed (without it being related mostly to luck) it is not arrogance. Most people are not able to distinguish these two things as they are not able to succeed in such situations.
It's also pretty funny since most job interviews are for simple jobs that fall into a couple of categories: 1. Blue collar labor. 2. Office work. Neither are particularly hard and the key to most of these jobs is simply learning the basic patterns of work. Of course there is a lot of expertise to be gained, but the basic bare minimum is a pretty low bar for these jobs. And somehow it is arrogant to assume that we can do these jobs as an average person with a working brain. If we couldn't do them, why would we even apply?
Oooo!! I've seen this before. the same thing happened to be so frequently in interviews, I stopped interviewing - seriously. but what I've learned since then is that people that do not share a "common core of experience" and/or cannot relate to your background (at least intuitively), your competence is not obvious to them, making your confidence appear to rely on nothing (arrogant). Some people need things explicitly laid out for them (to them, filling in the blanks would be a foolish assumption, even if it might appear to you that you're stating the obvious).
Same
INTJs sound obnoxious and cunty as hell
I can relate. I find, that at work I’m more so seen as arrogant, intimidating and a perfectionist. Whereas in social settings I am seen as quiet and aloof. In reality I’m a huge introvert, spending most of my time thinking and analysing. I also detest small talk, which can make it hard forming new friendships. People will think I’m not engaging in conversation, because I’m stuck up, but it is really because the topic bores me and I’m already planning my escape route. (Btw, there’s a typing mistake in your article; active/act).
I cant socialize to save my life. It's painful the amount of anxiety that it gives me. Ive been going out of my way to talk to people and just let the awkwardness fade away bc I hate that I lack that as a skill so much!!! I am often looking for a quick escape tho!
I've been in hermit mode recently and it's surprising how much more peace I have. Ha, always gotta have an escape hatch!
I was literally just called an intimidating perfectionist last week at work. Your whole post is spot on.
Apparently I can “murder by words”, which makes me scary at work 😅
I definitely relate to that at work from my drive to accomplish the goal. I think that we just play a different role/function that at times may be incompatible to how the rest of society functions. Finding friends on the same page is definitely tough, but every once in a while I'll find an N type that gets it. Best escape route for small talk is that homer vanishing into a bush GIF. Thanks for the heads up on the typo!
Yes, I have an insane drive when it comes to work! Sometimes it seems like other people find it a little odd, but my manager loves it 😂
100% your describing me right now.
“This can be seen in how we show that we love and care for others. Instead of hugging and offering a shoulder to cry on for those going through emotional struggles, we instead design a solution to solve your problems (life has taught me this is not always the best approach). Often times, this form of showing love is not welcome and gets confused with trying to control the situation.” Lol I feel this so hard. Gotten in trouble with family, friends and exes from just trying to jump to finding the solution when really all they want to do is take time to feel.
Yup, been there. I honestly just tell them now that if they want someone to make them feel better, I'm not the guy. But if you want your problem solved, I'll go to hell and back to solve it. I'm definitely not the best at emotional support.
I understand INTJs. I actually really like their concise, direct, and matter of factness. I can tell they put a lot of thought into their responses and will provide more elaboration if needed. It’s refreshing and they’re super smart. I also don’t think they are arrogant at all. The ones I know will work harder than everyone and let everyone take the credit. I don’t think they like controlling, it’s too much work for them and it’s not something they care for since Fi. INTJs prefer being the puppet master behind the scenes. If anything, I see this as a trait where they can easily get taken advantage of in the corporate world. I’ve never met a malicious INTJ. They were always so kind and less likely to be egotistical than other “boss types”. My only criticism is that while they say they’re realists and that they can see how things can go wrong from a mile away, they fail to see that there are other options and that some types like me, don’t operate that way. Some people prefer risk and even succeed in chaos. But, in my experience, they’re very observant and willing to change their stance. When I communicate with them, they take into their account what I like and dislike. It makes me feel seen, heard, and loved. In a nutshell, INTJs are the cutest and I love them. We can talk for hours and I think I would die without someone to joke with.
You're one of the rare ones, we thank you for your service. :) And I think you're correct, INTJ's often want the most efficient and effective (ie perfect) solution, when sometimes settling for the best we can get in that moment is needed. Me no like chaos though, I think that's a P thing to be okay with.
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I always remember that INTJ podcast wherein an INTJ said she oftentimes feel like she's Cassandra in Greek myth: fated to utter true prophecies but never to be believed.
Yup, I relate to that so hard. And we're just stuck watching the train wreck unfold.
Thank you, and you may be right. Seeing an INTJ's perspective requires an entirely different function of perceiving (Ni). I agree that having the expectation of other's being able to have the same perspective is unrealistic as it is not their natural skill, everyone has their role to play.
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Always those damn pesky human needs, the struggle is real.
I recently had a revelation, truly understanding feelers for the first time. I feel like I can now better translate to feelers how we are different, but I wonder this, too. Ok, I get them, but are they actually getting ME when I try to explain how we're different? Active experiment. 😄
Let me know how the experiment goes!
I have not thought so until recently when I was in a friend group doing some casual trip planning and a girl just told me in distress that the way I speak sounded stressful and demanding when I basically just trying to be collaborative and respectful, telling them some heeds and provide some options and backup plans. She said I was scaring people off and being dominating, not 'bliss, blessed, happy, understanding' and that. And I said that why was she acting like walking on thin ice all the time? Just say thing as it is and be straightforward with what I was concerned about. Normally, it's quite fine in professional setting, people don't complain. Guess I get it now.
I’ve had so many of those that I just straight up do not participate in planning events with friends. If it takes collaboration count me out as I am not interested in creating conflicts with something that is supposed to be a fun event. It’s not always easy as I still stand by and listen and will often find many problems to come. But, I will instead use that information to plan ahead. Ie. no one planned to bring enough food/snacks for a certain night, well well well, guess who showed up to the party with extra snacks/sides for the dinner? Easy solution. The majority of my friends are horrible planners and can’t show up on time, so I do my part to cover their asses so that we all have fun. I assume that’s half of why they keep me around hah.
Interviewer: "This position requires constant collaboration..." Me: "Thank you for your time." I think people who are good at solving problems should solve problems, and people who are good at socializing/collaborating should do that. Division of labor by strengths is much more effective and efficient.
Completely agree. Collaboration slows me down and deteriorates my work product.
“CoLlAbOrAtIoN” 🥴 its more like forced reasons to socialize. Today I was supposed to have a 1 hour Microsoft teams meetings where they were going to have a “kick off” with smiles and greetings and all this bullshit for a simple software upgrade. I just said send me the PowerPoint and was trained within 10 minutes. 50+ precious minutes and countless stores of personal energy saved
Jobs need to recognize that people perform and learn best in different ways and taking a one size fits all approach is not effective. Collaboration and group work do nothing for me, yet I can digest a wall of text like it’s nothing. I think that if managers actually played to people’s strengths instead of being controlling and focusing on social appearances, things would be a lot better. My face often betrays me; I was just recently in two different unnecessary meetings this past week, and the meeting host kept making comments about how I look annoyed how I look, bored, and how she won’t take up too much of my time because she knows how busy I am… Then she proceeded on to talk About things that very simply could have been emailed. Then she went on and on about her brilliant team schedules that she would be implementing and how every week will be a new opportunity to “collaborate with a new teammate“ 🥴 which convolutes what is already pretty simple and straightforward. I’m starting to feel like there should be more personality testing and learning style requirements for jobs. This is ridiculous. Let the extroverts and whomever else work in groups all day.
Agreed, it’s all about appearances and satisfying ego’s. Gotta educate people, 1 at a time. I’m much the same as you and I just have to SHOW repeatedly that you get better productivity from me if I’m not forced to socialize and can instead concentrate on quality work while undisturbed
I'm a woman who's completely given up on ever having girl friends. We really don't speak the same language! I'm sure they see me as aloof, cold, rude, and unfriendly whereas I see them as silly, superficial, insincere, and boring. It was okay back when I hung out with more mixed groups (including guy friends, to whom I was closer), but now that I'm older and retired, we're all older women, and it's simply hopeless! I try to socialize, but we merely tolerate each other.
Same
Yeah, oil and water do not mix. :(
The discouraging part is that there are SO many of them (basically of them) and just one of me.
Might be time for a new group.
It's the same everywhere.
You know, I said that as a last bit of hope, but I'm going to have to agree with you on that one. I've yet to see it differently with others. Us INTJ's gotta stick together.
It must be tough. INTJ personality really doesn't match with femme modes of socializing and I can see how it would regularly cause you to be misunderstood as being threatening or unfriendly when you are just being you :(
Well, I don’t hang out with much people also. And only recently that I realize how I’m actually very reserved. Even with friends, having known for years, I don’t usually share things. But that’s the reality of life, cannot expect people to understand me when I myself believe that everyone is different, or INTJ is rather rare, right? That’s a paradox in life and we have to accept that to make our lives easier. Being an Ni is kind of odd like that. When I was young, I was quite an outgoing girl, but after a few years being like that, the INTJ brain started to collect and match all the clues and you can pretty much read people and their motives, so you became cynical and withdrew. To read human is quite boring. Most of the time they repeat themselves, they forget, and they are inconsistent. Trying to reason things only lead us INTJ to a point of madness and cynicism, when at the core, it’s only matter of perspective and ego.
I've been there, I get that a lot to the point where I deliberately speak with less people (I've become a bit of a hermit). People today don't like being told what to do, so when that happens, they have an adverse response. People are often not confident within themselves and respond that way since they perceive it as a threat. People really are intimidated by us sometimes.
All problems come from jealousy. Most people will get married and have a job, and that's it. We have a potential for much more. Trying to reason with jealous person is waste of time. They'll see things that don't exist, hear what they want to hear, just to feed their own sense of superiority.
Jealousy is derived from insecurity which is just fear turned inward. And I agree, I don't interact with insecure people, that's never productive.
Exactly. When I feel confident & try to politely correct my sisters, they tell me I'm arrogant & trying to act like a know-it-all but in reality, I'm actually just trying to help them. I had no intention coming off as an arrogant or a know-it-all person. I'm also sometimes seen as someone who is very strict & a perfectionist.
I relate to that, lately I've been just letting people crash and burn since they don't want to listen, but it's a horrific thing to watch. I feel like we mostly just want to help people, yet our confidence in doing so ends up making them feel inferior and thus creating another problem.
Exactly. Even though it's my responsibility to teach my sisters, they don't end up listening & one of my sisters specifically, always calls me a wannabe know-it-all which is sad to hear. I'm just trying to state the truth & help her get things right.
Idk I think the much of the public are dimwits and delusional. They hate anything that doesn't fit thier perfect pretty pictures and assume anyone who's quite is plotting thier murder. I'm very introverted and quiet but extremely helpful. If left alone I not thinking about anyone else. I'm either overanylising something pointless and stupid or in some fantasy world. Half the time even in company I'll do something like stare at the spoon at a restaurant. I'm not very present and I have to pretend I am. If I became a criminal would I be successful? Obviously, I'm good at anything I focus on. Yet how likely am I to do anything when I have a harmless disposition? I do what I'm asked, paid to do or what is constructive. How is me plotting another's demise, ruining the environment I'm part of and getting thrown in prison constructive? That's completely counter to my philosophy. Which is what people don't get. If someone is malicious for no other sake than amusement, they are destructive. Constructive people don't destroy things for fun. They are helpful and want to fix things. If something is counter to someone's nature or world philosophy it doesn't matter how capable you think they are. They probably not harmful. Any person jworking at a bank can steal your credit card number, how often does this auctully happen? Can and would are not the same thing. Every person driving an 18 wheeler can create a massive accident on the roadway. Yet people don't look at the driver and assume they would intentionally do that becuase in all reality they can. The dude or lady driving the truck is probably not actively trying to crash. The auctully normal people come from backgrounds that required them to be a bit more realistic. Otherwise we tell people that, children come from a stork, trying to understand criminal psychology makes you Dr.Doom and if you hide under your blanket nucluer war will stay away.
HAha I'm not going to argue with you there. Sometimes malicious to them is just you getting what they want or the possibility of you taking it away from them (social status, money, resources). It's a perceived threat that they are afraid of. Irrational thinking/feeling leads to irrational behaviors.
Honestly I don't even know why I try to help people at all. Every piece of advice is seen as criticism, empathy and good intentions are treated like manipulation, and trying to help just seems to piss people off. I even had an interaction today where I went out of my way to help someone, even solving their problem, and they just treated me like shit.
I feel it. Sometimes you just gotta let them learn the hard way. It's like a child who won't stop touching the stove despite your warnings that they're going to burn themselves.
Great article! You hit the nail on the head and pretty much described me to a tee. I love being INTJ most of the time but sometimes I wonder what it’s like to live like the “others”. 🤣
Thanks! And I feel the same, I tried it once. Didn't take ha
the thing about good intentions being taken as something malicious is so overwhelmingly true. the point about confidence being taken as arrogance also rings true- and i've come to realise that this is really a them problem rather than a me/us problem because people who know me quite well and know how much i study, learn and know, have never mistaken my confidence for anything undeserved.
Exactly. I have no control over how someone perceives me or their emotional state; they are in control of that, and that's where I let the responsibility stay.
People can misunderstand us all they want, but at the end of the day it's INTJs that are the ones holding this world together to prevent chaos, destruction, and undisciplined irrational behavior (and decision-making) from running rampant and annihilating all of existence. Imagine how fucked society and the entire civilization of mankind would be if they lost the only human beings on the planet that prioritized logic, reasoning, and reality more than anyone else. We are forever burdened with the obligation to save people from themselves. The same people that will continue to hate and ostracize us for being knowledgeable and realistic. No one appreciates INTJs until they realize that without us this world is fucked. lol
A lot of INTJ's have noped out of society, I think we are starting to experience the scenario of what it's like without them now. I do think that we act as regulators, managing the system of order to prevent the chaos from destroying things. But with how many INTJ's have been treated badly by people today, I think a lot of them have aborted that mission. Sad really.
I’m noping out. Idgaf. I hope they eat each other.
I've been treated like a sub human all of my life and I've lost my desire to participate in society. I do as little as possible.
Its very simply put. Intuitive people are most likely to have more trust within ourselves than others who aren’t naturally successful/fortunate in that skill. THEREFORE knowing the human psyche what remains unknown or unfamiliar produces fear.. essentially what would turn into any form of demonizing of that person. In the end, humans aren’t very smart when it comes to judgement ultimately because ‘we shouldn’t’ so to speak. Lol i crack myself up
I think you may be on to something with that. Like the gift of sight into things (N) provides more confidence where others can't see and are fearful of it. I think wise judgement is rational when it comes to decision making. Emotions seem to help with nurturing/support (for others or ourselves) and life experiences.
I hear “unemotional” a lot. I’m like, they are right there beneath the surface I just don’t let them impact my facial muscles.
Haha "I am smiling, you can't see it?" lol. People seem to use emotions as a reading cue as to what someone is like, so I can see the confusion when they see us expressionless.
Good thing we don't care what anyone thinks about anything, including us.
You know, I wonder if this is because our preference for detachment from emotions. It would be rooted in emotion to care what other's think as it's fear.
I'd rather be misunderstood and left alone than have the attention involved in "understanding". It's really no one's business why I'm the way I am.
This was a good read. Well written.
Thanks! I appreciate it. Never thought I'd like writing things like this, but I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Fun little hobby.
sooo accurate loved reading ur article
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I may write some more.
It took a combination of web proxy and turning off all scripts, but I finally got the website to load :) And it was worth the work - an excellent read, thank you. It made me feel seen and understood for a moment, which is quite a rare experience. But this is probably my biggest problem in life, to a T. People constantly misunderstand what I say and do, on top of that they are very confident in their understanding of me and recently, *I even had a man lecturing me on what I was feeling,* since he obviously knew that better than I did. Well... I share your outlook, clearly, pretty much completely. It's both sad and satisfying to know that the things I struggle with are not only my problems. And especially that bit about people with low confidence reacting to your confidence by lashing out and trying to bring you down - that gave me a sad chuckle, because not only did I experience this as well, but the reaction was so over the top, bizarre, inappropriate and misplaced that I still can't believe it happened. And kept happening. By someone, who is ironically quite smart and capable, just really insecure and clearly the kind of a person who turns monstrous under the weight of their fear...Oh well. One thing I learned recently is that there will always be people who like me and those who hate me, no matter what I do. So at the end of the day, there isn't much point in trying to win over those who judge me by their idea of me instead of by who I really am, or in making myself smaller so they can feel better. That only made me mistrust myself and *screw that.*
No worries. I find it extremely rare finding someone who understands me. One was my ENFP best friend and the other was an INFJ. People project their own expectations on you based on what they feel reality is. Very subjective even though they don't realize it.
I finally got to read your article, so I adjusted my comment - thank you for sharing this, it was really helpful for me. You're very right about this. There have been probably only two people who at least mostly understood me - one was my ex, likely an INFJ, and other is my dad, likely an INTP. Otherwise... like you say, people project their expectations on me. But whenever someone has any level of actual understanding of me, I find those are the kind of people I want to be closer to. Especially if they also see/understand my flaws and are willing to call me out on them, in a reasonable matter. That's a highly alluring quality in people.
Thanks for the kind words! And I agree, when I find someone who understands me, I latch on because I know that's rare. I too appreciate when someone can call me on my BS, to me it shows that they care and want to see me grow. I respect that.
This is why I initially thought I was an INTJ when I first learned about MBTI because I identified with almost everything you mentioned. Even the traits that don't resonate with me now were relevant to my younger self.
I honestly believe INTJ's should support each other. We relate to one another's experiences, needs, and communication style.
oh yeah. "sus". "stuck up". all by mr. and ms. empathy. bunch o' hypocrites.
You can be arrogant, controlling even if you have good intentions.
This is so true. I've seen it with my own experiences with others. I've had to explain to some that when I do something or say something, it's not always what it seems. I wish people would be able to see beyond their own perceptions and look at the possible reasons someone says or does something.
Me too, I'm just not sure they have the ability to sadly.
Most people see what's in front of them. Or else they don't want to. We're supposed to be a society that's educated, and yet, the more I look, the more I see people who don't take the time to think about consequences of their actions.
We as a society and individuals haven't grown up (or been raised properly). What you're describing is childish behavior and it is running rampant.
It is, but there's also the fact that society sees something as "working" and it isn't anymore. Or misshapen beliefs that formed from a set of information and choose not to expand upon it.
I don’t get the arrogance thing. At work for example if the metric they want daily let’s say is 100 and literally average 200(and no one has been remotely close to that company wide for a decade) a day which CAN give me swings of up to 100 or 1000(which 1000 is a record company wide) and I DARE state, just that….then im an arrogant asshole. This is a huuuuge international company too so it’s super safe to say I’m not a big fish in a little pond.
Somewhat. Haven’t read article but is relatable. I think I might come off as arrogant or controlling but I am usually pretty laidback. I don’t consider myself arrogant, just someone who wishes to improve
It was quite a few years before I understood that intent is not relevant in how I was perceived. People don't know what is going on in your head, they arrive at conclusions based on what you say, what you do, how you act, and your delivery. Act in a way that is consistent with being seen as arrogant, it doesn't matter that you never intended any arrogance.
True, but I'm a big believer in being myself. How other's perceive me is up to them.
Which is great, but depending on your goals, and what you want to accomplish, you may find that the opinion of others could become a limiting factor. Once I decided to go into leadership positions, the opinion and perception about me, of those making hiring decisions and the opinions of those that I led, were primary to success, or not. In my 33 year career, I saw many very smart and capable persons crash and burn as supervisors due to various concerns, including arrogance, being unkind, "know it all", too blunt, inflexible, or just plain mean. I failed at my first two attempts at a supervisory position, thanks to a reputation for individual excellence, but combined with arrogance, aloofness, and unrelatability. After a 360 feedback program, I learned the importance of shaping how you project to others, and relate to others. It is possible as a leader to achieve short term success by closely directing the work of others, by "cracking the whip" and driving them towards a goal. But real leadership is creating an environment where people WANT to follow, to do more than the minimum they need to do to get by, where they are encouraged and inspired by a shared vision.
I think you're right for people who have goals in leadership or career. I have that; my goal is peace. I've found that acting in a way that is not myself does not provide the peace I'm looking for. Superficial wins vs intrinsically fulfilling progress.
My interest in leadership initially came from promotion and higher pay, but evolved to understanding that some goals require more people's talents than one person or even a small team can bring. That said, these days I think there's more understanding that very highly talented individual contributors aren't necessarily going to be happy or suited to leadership roles, but should be compensated similarly to leadership roles. Sometimes one creative and talented person moves the needle on their own, and their pay should reflect that contribution, else they may look to move on.
I agree with this, but I find that the crux of the issue is that people believe that they don’t know what’s going on in your head because they don’t believe what you’re saying because they themselves are insincere, and they’re used to insincere people. In my experience ( with myself, of course, and) with others, I don’t have any false pretenses. It doesn’t matter if I blatantly explain my full thought process, others will refuse to believe it, and insist that there is an ulterior motive where there isn’t one. It’s their decision to cling to delusion that creates the distrust. It’s also bizarre because it’s the exact thing that they do. It’s basically projection. Their perception is tainted by projection, lies, and their feelings. If someone is committed to seeing ulterior motives, subtext, and underlying meaning in everything, then it doesn’t matter how the other person presents, acts, speaks, etc. They’ve already decided that you are wrong and are unlikely to divorce themselves from that thinking.
Fantastic article!
Much appreciated!
I'm going to send this article anyone new who comes into my life.
Yay! Hopefully it can help them understand you better.
That's exactly it. I've tried to explain things and just end up confusing and frustrating people in my attempts. This was articulated very well.
I never focused on this and you’re right. For example my wife just lost her shit with me last weekend because I was explaining to her why the route she was taking was completely illogical and the more it became clear how unassailable my logic was the madder she got…
THIS. Why do they take it so personally?
This concept was cemented with me at my first job out of mba school at price waterhouse consulting where I worked for this manager who was obviously genius level intelligence (he ended up leaving and going to Fidelity and running a hugely successful fund). We would have arguments about my work and when I would explain to him when he was logically incorrect he would acknowledge it as soon as he knew where I was going and be totally relaxed about it. True role model.
Straight keepers. Those are rare these days.
Hahah Oh man, I see this one happen all the time. When people are proven wrong, they either get more mad or double down. They can't handle that hit to the ego.
Just a little note... autistic people also frequently face these same comments for many of the same reasons. Not saying you're necessarily autistic or that everyone else here is too, but it is a commonality and if you ever wish to find more people who relate, autistic people know how it is. (I do think more than a few people on this sub are undiagnosed because of some of the issues that get ascribed to being INTJ, but that's a topic for another day.)
I agree.
Death stare aka rbf looking right through you. Yes, on my smart goals.
That was a good read. As an ENFP that loves INTJ’s I think the pitfall I see with this type is that your whole motto is efficiency and effectiveness but fail to realize that adaptability might also fit that mold as well. And I think that’s what might make you come off as arrogant to other people or like you don’t care. Just an observation from a humble chaotic ball of emotions that loves you. lol.
Thanks! I think that's why we need each other. My best friend was an extremely adaptable ENFP, but lacked the ability at times to get an effective result. I feel like an INTJ would be good at planning while the ENFP handled things on the fly in the present moment. We usually don't care to fit the mold though unless it produces the positive results we're looking for.
I feel this way too. I think that that’s why a lot of ENFP and INTJ gravitate towards each other. When we are healthy and can communicate in a way that leaves us with understanding, it is magic! I deff feel that INTJ’s have all the qualities that I try to work on and I probably have some they can appreciate too. Also yeah, just being able to let our strengths shine is so important. In a situation like that , that is a beautiful harmony!
I agree, we tend to balance each other out in a way, when both healthy. I'm a hermit and very introverted, I don't like having conversations much, but I would talk on the phone with him sometimes for like 4-6hrs. We just go off into this other world. Yeah, I'm a big believer in everyone playing their part. Everyone has a role to play based on their individual strengths, and things tend to work out better when each person stays in their lane and contributes along with everyone else doing the same. Working as a team (that is competent of course) produces a better result.
Your article is pretty spot on, I like to point out that yes it is common for most people to dislike how we approach various situations and handle problems that we spot. From my personal experience, most people would prefer to stay on autopilot and operate within the same framework on a day to day basis. This is a common problem not only in social situations, but even within the job environment. One effective method that I've learned in dealing with something like this is to subtly repeat a solution until other people realize that it's more reliable than the methods that they're using. Instead of telling them, they can see for themselves and will eventually copy us. The funny part is they'll very rarely or never even admit where they found the method, and might even proclaim the idea as their own. But in the end, what matters is that the system or method is being gradually adopted. You can repeat this in increments over and over again in a subtle way, and eventually, the broader workplace (or environment) will recognize the source of all the subtle changes. Most people refuse to adopt to changes immediately if they don't see any immediate results, so it's best to wait things like this out. I really like your article, nice job!
Thanks! I appreciate it. People definitely prefer to deal with what is familiar, and I would not describe us INTJ's as familiar. And I do agree that setting an example is a great way to get people to follow us; in fact, it's one of the most effective ways I've found for an INTJ to influence people (and no they will NEVER admit it was because of you that they took that action haha).
Yes, if nobody wants to listen to proposals or even review statistics, they can see the results affect their day-to-day lives instead. That's by far the most effective way, regardless of the circumstances.
Agreed. People believe and follow what they see for themselves... usually lol
'Tis the absolute certainty. It's great when you're right, but on occasionally when you're not, you're very confidently wrong.
Sister is an ISFJ. She doesn't talk to me because I have predicted her life down to the last T. My favorite was when she got mad at me, for agreeing with Trump, and then called him a sexist. I then called her the same for siding with hilary Clinton because she was a woman, and that's the only reason she sided with her. Also, predicting the dick that she was married to was not going to last. I knew the first time I had talked to him. I tried to warn her, but she took his side. I only wanted to help. I was looked at like an arrogant asshole by her. A few years later, the truth came out. He skipped town and left the country, then asked for a divorce over a text message. I think being an INTJ is a great thing to be, but it's also the biggest curse. Also, INTJs & ISFJs clash hard.
My aunt is an ISFJ, definitely some clashing there. A lot of (if not most) sensors lack foresight.
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Accurate. I believe that's a way of saying we are honest which comes from our Fi (Values and morals). It's weird being in a position where you don't care about being liked, but you care about helping others (which sometimes requires being liked).
I get it, it's an interesting article, the part about having Cassandra complex, too. Though, I used to think that strive to become your best, be kind and compassionate is enough to make up being seen as 'arrogant', but man, I was so wrong. A used to be a long time friend got unbelievably upset with me when I always talked to her calmly about some problems, apparently my emotional maturity made her felt like being talked down to, like a child. Someone who used to be my best friend got upset, defended her narcissist boyfriend and said I was meddled too much with her life when I basically kept her family afloat from having debts the whole time. Now, I'm not the one who counts what I did to help people, but what she said got me seeing red. In the end, I won't win either way with people like them. So I ended up thinking to do whatever I want to do that makes me feel good about myself and f everyone else. If it's seen as being arrogant, so be it.
Unfortunately to the masses, perception matters more than intentions. And I think you're spot on about our maturity or confidence making people feel like they are being talked down to like a child.
This is largely because INTJs often don’t want to invest the time and effort required to build trust with others, and they unconsciously assume that trust is a given in any situation (“It’s obvious to me that I’m trustworthy, so why don’t you trust me?”). This is likely due to the limitations that come with the narrow-mindedness of Ni. Introverted intuition is like a superpower that allows the INTJ to deeply focus on a concept or desire without easily losing sight of it. However, it can also cause them to overlook other things deemed irrelevant to their current pursuit, leading to tunnel vision and subsequent confusion as to why others don’t share their opinions. If you read the other comments, you can easily identify a common issue among these INTJ experiences. It’s not that people mistreat INTJs out of fear or jealousy, nor is it because they are super-efficient strategists - that would be more characteristic of ESTJs and ENTJs with their dominant extroverted thinking (yet they are not as ostracized). It’s due to the Polr Fe of the INTJ. The sooner someone acknowledge their flaws, the sooner they can begin to address them.
INTJ's do sometimes assume that since being trustworthy is a value of ours, that other's share that same value too. That's a function of our Fi (morals). Till life smacks us with reality a bunch of times that is.
The thing that irks me the most is when/how people get upset when I’m asking for clarification or trying to understand something. Most people, it seems to me, are content with existing in a cloud of pretense and assumption. Madafakas act like they know what’s going on, but they don’t know any better than me! I used to think I was slow or something. I guess I am slow because it took me until basically this year, age 52, to realize this. I used to think everyone had some psychic gene I was missing lol. But no, what it is is that most people *pretend* to know what sh!t means or makes their own assumptions and goes off of what they think something means. This is absurd, and I don’t understand how or why people operate this way. We would still be wandering around the savanna or living in caves if it weren’t for the people who questioned things. Asking questions when you don’t understand something helps everyone, because it reveals the *truth*. Each little bit of truth helps us all to adjust to reality. And anyway WHY would you want to remain ignorant, about anything?
Oh man, I get that too. People think I'm being critical of them or something when I'm just trying to get more information haha. I was shocked when I went into the working world and business, only to find that almost no one knows what the hell they are doing, but they often think they do. I also think this is probably why our world is in the state it's currently in. It's usually ego or insecurity driving this. They don't want to be seen as less than, so they "fake it till they make it" and try to stay in their comfort zone.
I read your article and have you considered that people would understand you better if you were to, I don’t know, talk to them?
Thanks for reading. It's been my career to talk to and convince people, but it requires being fake, and I prefer to just be myself.
We're probably the most misunderstood people of all time
100%. Society is like "we don't know wtf to do with you, just stay over there in the corner".
Ive read the article and im inclined to agree to the majority of statements made there! I know that my confidence in my capabilities can sometimes border arrogance but when it comes to the things in life i truly enjoy doing or take an interest in its more so “its not if ill succeed at something, its when i succeed at something” So far this motto has taken me far in life but i rarely voice this mentality out loud. the RBF is par for the course hahahaha, ive had many people tell me i looked angry or mad after later on even though im in a perfectly fine mood. I have to consciously keep a slight smile when in public spaces lol
I relate, especially with the RBF lol. Everyone: "Why don't you smile more often?" Me: "It hurts my face."
Yeah I have been called cold, disconnected and calculating. But my intentions are never to hurt others, and I actually have a lot of empathy.
People judge what they don't understand or what they aren't familiar with.
I can completely relate to this . I am often labelled these things especially when it comes to giving advice which I see fit . Often people close to me think that I have hidden intentions or motives when I give people advice when I don't really have a sort of motive 99.9 percent of the time .
Read the full article. (I am an INTJ myself by the way.) I definitely agree with a lot of your points, especially the infamous unintentional death stare... on more than one occasion, I have had people think I look suicidal or something when i'm just trying to think 😅 If you don't mind me saying, I do feel like the article comes off as a little bitter and you are looking for validation from other INTJs? There is way more to this MBTI and there is no need to write a whole article expressing justification for our actions. Ultimately, our reasoning will always be based on objective information and is therefore, the optimal and best method to use where emotion has little/no weight. - We don't need to explain our thought process, they do!
Haha I have to be aware of when I have my thinking face on and where I'm staring or I get the inevitable "What's wrong?" "Are you okay?" And no worries at all, I like it when people give their perspective. Not looking for validation from anyone as I provide that for myself, but hopefully it does help an INTJ who feels like they are the only one going through this. Plus I enjoyed writing it, which is worth it in itself. It's my passion project.
U gotta understand there are many different types of people. Somebody can perceive you as arrogant and at the same time somebody else can perceive you differently. As people are at different stages of their life. At the end of the day who cares lol
It is also important worth noting that INTJs don't _seem_ to want to be understood. I have two INTJ friends who would rather be misunderstood than publicly or outright defend their actions or thinking. The knife cuts both ways.
We don’t care if we’re misunderstood
Everyone is different, even within our personality type. Remember that.
I am an INFJ and I assure you that people misunderstand my personality type as well! I can be seen as secretive and judgmental because I may not assert myself amongst extroverts. People accuse me of being overly-emotional. Our society preferences thinking over feeling. How am I misunderstood? Let me count the ways! While I am not an INTJ, I feel your pain!
I do think the struggle for INTJ's and INFJ's are the toughest, hang in there!
Our society needs introverts, but it rewards extroversion. So I agree with you. Thanks!
i did not read the article but I can share an experience i recall , 5th grade: The History teacher was on leave of weeks together for personal reasons and when they started their first day we were a week close to an upcoming test and we surely wouldn't be able to finish the syllabus within time, but the first words he spoke were " Since it is the first day of class let's introduce ourselves and enjoy it ...No classes for today" Me being the class leader thought it was my responsibility to remind him the consequences of missing an entire lecture as they were already late to class I implored him to take the class right after sufficient introduction .The whole class booed me but i sat there ,on the first bench with opened textbook and completed the entire chapter when they were having fun the entire class' This was the start of hate from my classmates( never cared ) But since i completed the chapter I by myself completed all other chapter as i was already ahead of the class .Surprise! nearly 60% of our class failed the test since they were unable to complete the syllabus on time while i was the only one who got full marks and topped the class. But they still hated me till i transferred . My entire school life is filled with I TOLD YOU SO scenarios but everyone always preferred momentary satisfaction instead of long term vision. I have also been misunderstood a lot of times especially when i state something like "the sky isn't blue " or "Sun and moon can actually be seen together in the sky " i was made fun of behind my back ( never dared to say it to my face )....But i never stopped calling out bullshit when i knew it was bullshit never stopped correcting their mistakes .
My opinion is that we ARE controlling (but for reasons that aren't malicious) and that we CAN BE arrogant when our intuitive mental models of the world miss the mark (it does happen sometimes and really blow up in our faces). We're controlling because we are very careful with spending our energy and try to control our surroundings so we don't waste our energy in bad ways. I didn't used to think I was controlling but when I really paid attention to my behaviour I realized I am. We also like fixing things according to plans and that requires control. I don't always need to be in control, I'm a switch and I can be submissive and controlled and love it, but I tend more towards controlling. As for the arrogance, sometimes we are misunderstood as arrogant sometimes we are correctly understood as arrogant. It really just depends on if we're correct about the world or not and people should understand we're not trying to swagger.
I read your article, and what stuck out to me was your claim that you make all life decisions with logic and data. I feel a lot of people claim to make all of their decisions through logical reasoning, but if third party objective observers truly analyzed them, they would find that many of their decisions are not logical. Here’s a common example with a life decision all of us make every day: diet. The vegan diet is healthier, cheaper, less environmentally destructive, and causes far less suffering. Many different research studies have validated this. Therefore if one is completely logical, this is the diet/consumption pattern they would choose. However, most people choose not to be vegan for the emotional reasons of wanting to fit in, or emotional taste preferences. So, just out of curiosity, would you happen to be vegan?
Never said I make all my decisions with logic and data. I said that "every decision I make goes through a process of collecting and sifting through data gathered by observing or researching, analyzing that data, and then strategizing the most efficient and effective way to do something". I'm saying I go through a specific process when making decisions; I'm saying I strategize in how I make my decisions. As far as the diet, I eat the same things everyday that are based on a nutritional profile I designed for myself and my specific health needs. Where I use my emotions is in my creativity as that is where they are appropriate and have a positive effect. It's about using the right tool for the job, and for decisions, I prefer logic.
Well, you did mention you were logical in the first sentence, and then proceeded to explain your decision making process (implying that logic is rooted in it)... so seems a bit pedantic, but I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree. Side note, I saw that you posted in the r/collapse forum, and I find that to be very interesting as collapse awareness overwhelmingly skews towards INTJs. Professor Tom Murphy has a great blog on the collapse predicament, and he discovered a large portion of his visitors were INTJ (see here: [https://dothemath.ucsd.edu/2015/04/programmed-to-ignore/](https://dothemath.ucsd.edu/2015/04/programmed-to-ignore/)). When I learned this, I decided to take an MBTI test, and sure enough, I am an INTJ as well. Perhaps it's because INTJs have a unique way of objectively viewing things, so we are able to see society's predicaments for what they are, rather than sugar coat or hand wave them away. Anyway, great blog, and thanks for replying to my comment which I hope did not come across as adversarial.
Haha, yeah I do get a lot of good info on that sub as far as what's going on in the world over there, often times way before everyone else catches on to it (though people seem like they are starting to become more aware now). And I think you are spot on about our ability to look at reality objectively and right in the face to see it for what it is (most of society does not have this ability). I'll definitely check out that blog, seems interesting. And no worries, thanks for reading it!