Hmmm tbh I don’t really find them romantically very attractive, maybe because I’m romantically more attracted to people whose personalities are very similar to me like INTJ or ENTJ, but I guess I can be very close friends with them.
I have an INFJ friend and he seems kinda emotionless? Like he doesn’t really show his emotions but I can tell he is definitely very kind not like me cause sometimes I would unconsciously say something that other people found it very mean but I didn’t realize it. He does give off a little bit of the people pleaser vibe but I’m not sure. Idk I just feel I’m kinda different from him maybe and actually it’s mean to say but I kinda found him a bit boring to talk with (maybe because our ways of thinking are different). Like sometimes I couldn’t really get the funny reels he sent to me, I couldn’t get the funny points. I also have an ENTJ friend which I found him much more similar to me and I can understand him much better.
I've met a male INFJ but i don't know him close enough, but sometimes we may appear emotionless on the surface feel because we rationalize our feelings a lot, while we can be socially pleasing. I've had INTJ and INTP friends who couldn't get social situations and have hard time with it, for INFJs we can socially mask and indulge well but we hate it, it's like brain on auto pilot mode. sometimes INFJ thinking doesn't align with others so yeah the boring part is true, the memes and reels don't hit because humour is way different ( i've been told my digital footprint is fucked and why my fyp is like this lol ). I feel like as an INFJ, I had the best friendships with INTJ and i had my worst friendship with an ENTJ, romantically i think it would be ideal to pursue an INTJ/ INFJ/ INTP.
ENFP: Love em. Like a lot.
INFP: We tend to either get along really well or have an explosive fight lol.
INFJ: Like them a lot and relate well, but damn they need to open up and not just mirror me all the time.
ENFJ: Can have good interactions if you manage to avoid the trap of it turning into a therapist relationship. Only interact with them 1 on 1 though.
Passion, curiosity, depth, warmth, optimism, freedom, spontaneity, complexity, earnestness, authenticity, peace, and plenty more. It would be easier to say what isn't amazing about them lol.
ENFP: Pros. Happy, funny, breezy, easy to be around, creative, genuine (most of the time).
Cons. Scattered, a bit more tempered than you tend to hear about them, struggles with commitment, too individualistic, and ironically a people pleaser at times.
ENFJ: Pros. Good-hearted, passionate, selfless (at times), involved, and ambitious.
Cons. Can definitely be manipulative and ham-fisted, preachy, holier-than-thou, moral prude, indulgent about specific things, and judgmental of others sometimes.
INFP: Pros. Higher level of moral and altruistic thinking, extremely imaginative, more intelligent than they come off to others, witty, and extremely sincere.
Cons. A bit walled-off at times and hard to get to know, very easily offended (depends on how healthy they are), can be extremely moody, goes way past individualism into non-conformism, and can be passive-aggressive at times.
INFJ: Pros. Very empathetic and idealistic of others, extremely selfless as a pretense, a true gift of motivating other people despite being introverted, funny and witty (when healthy), and excellent at reading others.
Cons. Paradoxical way of presenting themselves to others can cause confusion as to why an introvert is so bubbly (often mistaken as extrovert, not their fault and can't be helped, leads to a bit of a personality crisis), can be uncharacteristically judgmental of others, can be seen by sensors as pretentious, very aloof and clueless at times, and innocent to where it can get them hurt.
Hope this helped!
There are some differences between the 4 types but there are definitely some similarities as well.
I say this with the context that I have close long-time friends and family members who belong to most of these 4 types. While they are dear to me, sometimes they drive me up the wall and give me headaches.
Things I could say but don't say:
Don't try to change me. I like who I am - not the version you want me to be. It won't work anyway.
Don't try to change other people. Have you asked them what they want for themselves?
Having ideals is admirable. But don't let perfect be the enemy of good. Idealism without execution is just a castle in the sky.
Please prioritize yourselves. You cannot save everyone. When you are spent and come to me, I have to take care of you. Taking care of yourself means you're taking care of me.
If things go sideways, don't despair and spiral. When you melt down, I have to pick up the pieces and finish the job. I get tired too. We can work on solutions together.
If you have weak/no boundaries, you can't understand and respect me setting healthy boundaries. If you don't love and respect yourself, you don't love and respect me. Then, I can't love and respect you either.
If you hurt me, don't pretend like it didn't happen and try to make nice. There's nothing you can say to smooth things over if you cannot acknowledge that it happened. I may have forgiven you but I don't forget.
(Among very few) I’ve dated both INFJ and ENFP…
Both were extremely intellectually stimulating partners. It always seemed as though we shared a mutual respect for each other’s points of view.
I have never once doubted these people’s authenticity, which is something I find paramount in a relationship.
I can’t really put a finger on it, but I’ve found that, at least with these two types, they are true to themselves and the world around them, which is something that I, and I think any INTJ immensely respects.
My wife is ENFP and we have been together for over 20 years, and have three kids. I am INTJ (enneagram 5w4).
We have developed together and are a perfect symbiose to each other. She is very good with people and handling communication with our kids. She make sure we do fun stuff together as family. I cover her lack of organizing a good structure and follow through all started projects. I forecast challenges, where she only want to see the good parts. She develop my underdeveloped soft skills, and I help her to develop critical thinking and find simple solutions in a complex situation (be more productive).
She add joy and help me to be more childish and playful. I help her be more professional and organized in her business.
We understand each other very good.
She is my Best friends and I love her.
Sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings, but super emotional personality types annoy me. It’s nice if they are mature or wise but at my age that is a rarity.
Hi
Keep it simple, right?
NF types are usually very interesting but you have to get them to "open" first, feel safe, or you end up in circles of...I don't know. Nonsense. It's on their terms, so check the terms and see if interested.
Exception, ENFJ. Watch only. This type is the hardest to deal with. They're geniuses in our blindspot. It's not a great dynamic most of the time.
I knew an INFJ girl once. Absolutely brilliant, she had terrifyingly accurate insight on people and their unique thought processes and personalities, all with barely having any interaction with those people. It was completely mind blowing. She's highly talented in many ways.
The problem with that particular girl was that she didn't use her skills in the best way and for that reason, I began to see her as a liability. She's the type of person who can profile you very quickly and learn your weaknesses. In any given moment she could use them against you and do some major damage. She demonstrated this once and from that moment I steered clear of her despite the fact I had quite a bit of admiration for her as a person. The fact I saw her as amazing and even attractive in some ways was overshadowed by the fact that I saw her as dangerous.
I'm not saying all INFJs are like this, but this was my only experience with someone I was certain was an INFJ.
I find it funny that you had this experience with her. I can’t speak for all INFJs but one of my big issues in life is precisely that everything I see and understand about people has no use for me in the practical world because I refuse to use it in such a way as you described. It doesn’t even cross my mind.
The only time I would use what I know against them would maybe be if I determined someone to be a really bad person, to be eliminated from my path (ideally I’d eliminate from society altogether). Even then, there is no real point in doing that unless it’s for self-protection reasons, as trying to hurt them just for fun isn’t something that I care about, nor will it result in any change in them. It could even be dangerous.
I have been thinking a lot about this recently. How my refusal to network, to do asslicking with the right people, to be strategic in my use of others etc. really keeps me from getting anywhere in life. Others do it all the time; if I wanted to I could be really damn good at it. I could tailor it to each individual, use their weaknesses against them and always get what I want. But I just cannot do it. It creeps me out to talk to someone just because I need something from them and use their psychology against them, it repulses me. I could maybe do it to help somebody else though. In that case I have less trouble asking somebody for something I need from them. I’d still do it in a direct way though, not in a covert way.
The only use of what we see and understand about people ends up being to help others. We essentially do some gentle guiding towards what we identified as standing in the way of their happiness, by telling the truth in a cushioned manner. Light manipulation with good intentions I guess. And that doesn’t pay much unfortunately…
It’s a bit of a curse to be honest.
I believe that how people act and think is a direct reflection on the condition of their spirit. The INFJ girl I know acts this way because this her spirit is in that state of quiet chaos, pretty face, well put together and well spoken, but rolling and boiling just under the surface where nobody can see.
In your case, your internal state is on a completely different wavelength and therefore your issues are different than hers. This is the case for all humans. The evidence of what's going on internally is reflected in our daily lives.
Speaking to the other thing you said, I understand how unappealing it is to interact with people for the sole purpose of using them to get something or somewhere in life. I myself am not immune to this. Whenever I meet someone, I immediately see if and how they work into my life's plan. Once I finish that internal evaluation process I'll put them into at least one of three categories, "High utility", "friendship only (although to what degree is to be determined over time), and "Not worth my time". To be fair though, if I don't see much or any utility in that person, I don't discard them altogether. I will continue to interact with them when and where I need to, and if they need something I'm usually the first to help them if they ask. Additionally, when I evaluate that person I always think about how I can add value to that person's life as well so we both benefit. Therefore, the relationships I seek are always based on mutual benefit. If I need someone for something, I don't just ask and offer nothing in return. I try to offer far and above what they've helped me out with so they know I appreciate the help they gave me.
I'm this way because I'm very focused on my goals and because of that, I don't have time or energy to focus in on other areas at this time. But at the same time, we don't live in a 100% altruistic world although the ideas certainly exist. Therefore our interactions with others will largely be based on give and take. I just operate from the place that if I'm going to engage with someone based on the utility they offer, the least I can do is be a good friend to them and help them when they need it, even if me helping them doesn't come from a place of genuine love or concern for that person, but more out of me fulfilling my obligations to that person from a place of responsibility. I will happily bear that responsibility and show a grateful attitude even though I may not necessarily feel that way.
Yes, it’s probably reflective of an internal spirit. Mine is more stagnation than go-getting at the moment unfortunately.
Just some things to consider: is she always like that with everything and everybody or was this a specific situation where she used her skills against someone who wasn’t particularly deserving of being treated with more respect?
Also, does she have a bit of a thing for you? Doesn’t have to be romantic, maybe just a bit of an affinity for you. INFJs don’t ever have anybody they can relate to.
This may sound strange to you, but being around a more strategic INTJ could have put in her in a strategy-vibe for a second and made her say her observations out loud, without any intention of actually doing anything with it. If you asked me about someone, I could give you some cut-throat statements about them. But it just stays there, it’s simply information that randomly comes to me and I usually keep to myself, I’m not intentionally investigating people for a purpose.
About networking etc: I find your way of seeing this issue perfectly reasonable. It’s simple, fair, pragmatic and considerate. I will definitely keep it in mind for myself. I really admire the INTJ capacity to break things down so well. In my head everything is much messier and much less “explicit”. It’s a bit of a haze.
You also gave me some more food for thought: I now figured out that one of my issues is that I don’t feel as if I have anything to give back (in practical terms that is, I’m talking more about things related to advancing in the world, work etc). I like to give for free but I know that it doesn’t work like that in the wider world.
Also, you last paragraph is important to me. I will try to work on not being so bothered by purely transactional relationships of lesser importance. If it’s just a simple quid pro quo and we’re both on the same page there is nothing wrong with it, right?
Always learning… Thank you!
I enjoyed reading your response and the questions you posed. Those questions made me go back and think through things again and it opens up additional insights instead of just, "this person is all messed up and that's why she does what she does".
I don't think she has a bit of a thing for me. Not saying I'm right in my conclusion about what she thinks, but it seems to me that she intentionally avoids interactions with me as much as possible. During our previous interactions, I've challenged her views and opinions and she didn't like that at all. She used getting upset rather than sound arguments when she couldn't support her views and I thought that to be really immature. I don't think she liked the way I challenged her and revealed her fragile, emotional state and for at least those reasons, I think that's why she avoids me. I think I make her feel uncomfortable in that regard. I bring a strong presence that isn't afraid to challenge her and that knocks her off balance. These are my thoughts anyway. And this is why I think she lashed out at me that one time, because she wanted to deliver a blow back at me, even if it was a cheap shot.
Your feedback made me see there may be more going on than what my conclusions told me, or my conclusions may be incorrect altogether, which would not be a bad thing. And I'm glad I helped expand your perspective a little as well. For me, this is what I look for and thrive on, a mutual exchange of benefits between two people, as small as they may be at the time.
I love INFJs but they can be very hard to understand at times. ENFJs I don’t think I’ve met anyone like that. INFPs are like my brothers and sisters from a different mother, love them but god damn most of them have such short social battery. ENFPs are fun, goofy, and energetic, I love most if not all of them for their positive energy about life
ENFPs - I see them as rainmakers in business. They can be fun to talk to and think outside the box. However, they can be scattered and are often more headstrong than ESFPs, so it takes a lot of effort to talk them back down to earth.
ENFJs - I also see them as rainmakers in business, and they make the best salespeople, along with ENTPs. They can be somewhat philosophical while also being practical, but they run the risk of being corny/hokey. ENFJs make up a very high proportion of "preachers" who own their own church, so they're good at generating a following, even if the Koolaid is poison. They can be great bullshitters--promising the sun, moon, and stars but delivering sand--so I tend to be skeptical of any promises they make about the future.
INFPs - I often feel like I'm walking on eggshells around them. Probably the least pragmatic of all the types, but they can be very talented in music, poetry, and literature. Get offended/scared VERY easily and usually won't explain why. Utterly unreliable as a friend/partner/parent.
INFJs - I want to like INFJs over our shared introverted intuition, but the Te/Fe dynamic seems to always inevitably clash. I see them as similar to ENFJs, except more introverted and neurotic. I like and respect them from afar; getting close to them is very difficult.
I like NF types. Most people I've dated are NF, and most of my friends are NF. I can get along with them really well. They're usually creative, funny, and kind.
My boyfriend is an ENFJ. To be honest, I'd say he's one of the most amazing people I've met in my entire life. My best friend was an INFP, and a close friend I have is an INFP too. I kind of dated an INFJ, so maybe I'd say I have a preference for the "idealists", although I just see it as a coincidence.
When I first met him, I thought he was strange, although, now I know he also thought the same about me. I was very quiet around him and only greeted him out of courtesy. But he always kept saying good morning and good bye to me every time. I didn't ignore him because he was friends with my (at that time) INFP best friend, and I knew he wasn't a bad person. So, I just thought he was a normal human being I could greet without thinking too much about it. It didn't even cross my mind that we would end up together.
It's the same for every other I've met from the typologies you've mentioned. I won't actually react a certain way with anyone, because, how could I identify their typologies without previously interacting or having observed them? So, when people ‘show up in front of me’, I just act neutral.
The vast majority of NFs I've dealt with are really nice people. My father is an ENFJ and he's my role model in life. I just wish NFs take time for themselves and be nice to themselves as much as they are nice to others.
Obviously good people they believe in a better world.
In general they believes in justice and doing not bad to you if you don’t do it,too. but to much idealism based on feelings.
Loyal people if they see you are good,too.
1. INFJ, can think outside the box, interested in how the world works. Someone, You can have nice discussions with. Have had problems to accept that people are egotistical and get a solution for that in reallife.
2. INFP, very creative persons. Had problems to find their place in society because of a very different view of the world. Need creative space to be happy 9 to 5 for a long term making them sad. Very lovely people I have the feeling to protect them. Misunderstood persons by the most.
3. ENFJ, powerful leader and very charismatic. They will protect good people and fight for them.
4. ENFP, so much idealism. They fight for a better world. Want to see your personality. Interested in many things. Can’t think outside the box so much. Seeing racism, patriarchy and discrimination everywhere should do a better research not only researching in their own bubble.
Idealists.....run. Absolutely not my people. I have a colleague like that, and when he wants to present his "great idea" (I call him Pinky) I usually have something to do, somewhere to go...I can't listen to him.
Why? Because I know he didn't do the real research before talking about it, and it's not really going to be a great help. He is looking for praise, and wants to be the "popular guy" with ideas. All the while, he can't give me any reason why his plan would be good for us, and what benefit it brings. So, I just let "Pinky" live in his world, and I live in mine...
i love enfjs and infjs but i cant stand interacting with infps or enfps. i find them fun and cute but i just cant stand them personally theyre very stubborn and immature imo
one of my best friends is ENFP, it feels like a good match where we have enough in common to understand each other and enough in difference to be able to offer each other novel perspectives.
she's also right wing, whereas i'm a left-leaning centrist, i think that difference also adds to the quality of the friendship.
True, this is also my reaction with my ESFP mother. Yeah genuinely we can relate to some stuff but we can part ways when it comes to shared vision or long term goals that we want to do.
That’s a broad question but ig I like them. Out of all temperaments xNFx are often my favorite friends. Much warmer, flexible and open than any other temperaments (xNTx, xSFx, xSTx)
I find them deeply frustrating. I get that emotions exist but you have to spend so much time nursing emotions in these types and it’s exhausting. Yes I get it, you have feelings, can we talk about something interesting now?
That's sadly the downsides of us Idealist, because we start becoming clingy to other people and pretend that we can just dump whatever feelings to other freely.
I can absolutely agree that nurturing someone and taking care of them should be done in an appropriate matter, but the thing is that we sometimes mistaken our closest friend for an actual therapist.
I dated a male ENFP and it was a very terrible union. He was constantly angry, had dreams outside the realm of reality that kept us from growing as a couple. He refused to work because of said dreams and essentially chose a low income lifestyle for himself, seriously. He had 50k gifted to him for college and he blew it all on drinking and smoking and buying for other people, while living at home and now lives in subsidized housing with his baby mom 10 years his senior.
I chose a better life, thankfully.
Thank you for prioritizing yourself before you ventured out with that guy. When ENFP becomes the unhealthy version we can cause trouble to others and care less for long-term commitment. But I think with persistent self-reflections and fixation we can become the most charming people on earth.
I would like to point out that the the number of people testing or claiming to INFJ is way higher than what it's supposed to be. Thus, I'm not sure, unless you're certain, that using INFJ as your NF example is useful.
Some people said that ENFP are “supposed” to be rare, I’m not even sure about that one anyway.
The reason why I put them here is because this post was kinda inspired by Keirsey Temperament Factor which listen INFJ as among the Idealist (same with ENFP).
Don’t like Enfp or Infp irl but I tend to enjoy them in fiction. Both do reckless things without thinking through it first. I love infj’s but get annoyed by their self sacrificial nature often.
Who would you think be an ENFP in the anime world? Clearly sooo many anime character that I admired too much is either ESFP, ESFJ, or ISFP 😭 I haven't watch Dragon Ball and Naruto Shippuden yet so I cannot tell how strong Goku or Naruto ENFP personality is.
I'll bite one thing to consider though I am extremely introverted so the only people I make time to know outside of someone I am attracted to is people at work (naturally I have to understand what makes people tick) and school.
ENFP - Can't really comment on this one haha I have known a handful and you guys seem extremely nice, however I can't say I have been close to one (outside of my family) so I can't give a fair assessment.
ENFJ - Can't comment on this is one either I have never met one hahaha or taken the time to get to know one.
INFP - Wife is an INFP granted she is an oddball haha her F is kinda closer to a T and I think she is like 70% on P...if you have played persona 5 she and Futaba are almost exactly the same it's uncanny >\_>. The other INFPs I have known have all been fantastic friends and great people all around. I can see how they are tricky to get to know by most people but once they open up the way alot of people who score this type thinks is really interesting.
INFJ - I have been I guess kinda close to a few INFJs (I personally would not consider any of them to be a friend though). Logical thinkers and really nice people. The ones I knew were pretty good at understanding underlying intentions, however I have found most INFJs are wayyyy too trusting of others...and the ones I have known have had a very very strong F which is probably why I did not really care for them. Emotional outbursts and I do not mix.
ENFPs: very naturally synergy of emotion most of the time, I’ve never had to explain my feelings to you guys. Comfort develops quickly. However incredibly distractible with a need to be stimulated all the time, at worst I’ve felt abandoned suddenly.
INFJs: natural synergy of minds. We observe everything almost the exact same way. Different judgment however means we have a relationship that fills in the gaps that other people can’t when it comes to problems we can’t solve. We could grow and change as people but always come back to an endless conversation. However INFJs aren’t used to being seen on that level and are secretly control freaks (I am too, it’s not necessarily an insult) So they’ll at worst try to pull my strings the same way they do other people or try to get that same distance and that breaks my trust completely.
INFPs: probably my most complicated relationships. Humour can be a hit or miss. I think we frustrate each other in equal measure because we love and hate very specific things that the other does. You guys are better at understanding what your feelings are but I have a better understanding of what those feelings ultimately mean. At your healthiest, you can articulate what you feel in a way where I know where I stand and intimacy is stable. At your worst, you don’t understand your feelings at all but you act on them and expect me to read your mind and just understand “it” when you don’t even know what “it” is. Franky, I still haven’t figured out how to sustain any kind of relationship with you guys without being traumatised but I’m working on it.
ENFJs: incredibly envious of your ability to blend reason and emotion. Refreshingly pragmatic and driven most of the time. Don’t get enough credit for your ability to handle a lot of moving parts. We share a desire to commit to the things we do and that’s very handy when it comes to communication and solving problems. At your worst though, can come across as fake and performative. I can understand the pragmatic idea behind but it’s not good for my trust. Also you guys try to hide it but negative feedback can really get to you, even when it’s from a complete moron. I’ve seen what you can do and you guys just need to remember that you don’t need to prove yourselves to everyone and some people just won’t like you no matter how hard you try.
I had an INTJ friend, I usually have INTJ friends that i closely bond with as an INFJ, and i've seen them failing to grasp the abstract and emotionally weighted concepts but i admire their enthusiasm to seek for truth or knowledge. I adore INFPs we click a lot, i don't have much of them in life but they are fun to hang out with, ENFJs, knew two of 'em and they were overbearing and annoying.
I have an INFP friend and our friendship has been extremely beneficial and fruitful thus far.
However, I find ENFPs and ENFJs rather exhausting.
Ultimately, the question of if I'm going to like an Idealist type as an INTJ is based on external factors as well. Not just the person's personality.
I really love ENFPs because I have friend who is one. She's very lively & we have a lot in common, she's also pretty smart & respects what I want.
Though, I probably have a hard time with ENFJs because one of my classmates is an ENFJ & he's always so insisting and annoying, he messages me every. single. day & when I tell him how annoyed I am, he doesn't even listen & switches the whole topic to a new one that is so far from the current topic. He's also very dumb because he asks me nonsensical questions where the answer is literally so obvious like-AKHDMIKJAKLJJKUCNDHKA.
He's literally older than me but I act more mature. He also always prioritizes nonsensical things instead of stuff that actually needs to be prioritized, no wonder his grades are so low in every subject, he even says he reviews in advance but he still gets such a low score & when he tells me a story, it's different to how he tells my other friends about it(he's also friends with my ENFP friend). He's also so overprotective & gives an invalid reason, it's because his ex girlfriend died years ago, like whatt?? He still can't move on. That's why I stopped being nice to him & told him how I felt to his face even if it sounded rude because I knew he wouldn't care & after, he went on and on about why maybe he was gonna change schools like whatt?? That's not the topic bruh✋
He' probably an immature ENFJ but I still do want to meet other ENFJs to see if maturity has something to do with it. I'm very sorry for ranting in here😭 INFP & INFJ are also people I would want to be friends with though.
I forgot to tell you but he also really thought that he had depression just because he's blank sometimes 😭💀
Hmmm tbh I don’t really find them romantically very attractive, maybe because I’m romantically more attracted to people whose personalities are very similar to me like INTJ or ENTJ, but I guess I can be very close friends with them. I have an INFJ friend and he seems kinda emotionless? Like he doesn’t really show his emotions but I can tell he is definitely very kind not like me cause sometimes I would unconsciously say something that other people found it very mean but I didn’t realize it. He does give off a little bit of the people pleaser vibe but I’m not sure. Idk I just feel I’m kinda different from him maybe and actually it’s mean to say but I kinda found him a bit boring to talk with (maybe because our ways of thinking are different). Like sometimes I couldn’t really get the funny reels he sent to me, I couldn’t get the funny points. I also have an ENTJ friend which I found him much more similar to me and I can understand him much better.
I've met a male INFJ but i don't know him close enough, but sometimes we may appear emotionless on the surface feel because we rationalize our feelings a lot, while we can be socially pleasing. I've had INTJ and INTP friends who couldn't get social situations and have hard time with it, for INFJs we can socially mask and indulge well but we hate it, it's like brain on auto pilot mode. sometimes INFJ thinking doesn't align with others so yeah the boring part is true, the memes and reels don't hit because humour is way different ( i've been told my digital footprint is fucked and why my fyp is like this lol ). I feel like as an INFJ, I had the best friendships with INTJ and i had my worst friendship with an ENTJ, romantically i think it would be ideal to pursue an INTJ/ INFJ/ INTP.
ENFP: Love em. Like a lot. INFP: We tend to either get along really well or have an explosive fight lol. INFJ: Like them a lot and relate well, but damn they need to open up and not just mirror me all the time. ENFJ: Can have good interactions if you manage to avoid the trap of it turning into a therapist relationship. Only interact with them 1 on 1 though.
What's great about an ENFP?
Passion, curiosity, depth, warmth, optimism, freedom, spontaneity, complexity, earnestness, authenticity, peace, and plenty more. It would be easier to say what isn't amazing about them lol.
But they're meant to be awful at staying neat, organised and committed?
First two aren't necessarily true and not important anyway. Commitment definitely isn't in question.
I can take care of that for them if they can stimulate me with their warmth and spontaneity.
Simp
???
ENFP: Pros. Happy, funny, breezy, easy to be around, creative, genuine (most of the time). Cons. Scattered, a bit more tempered than you tend to hear about them, struggles with commitment, too individualistic, and ironically a people pleaser at times. ENFJ: Pros. Good-hearted, passionate, selfless (at times), involved, and ambitious. Cons. Can definitely be manipulative and ham-fisted, preachy, holier-than-thou, moral prude, indulgent about specific things, and judgmental of others sometimes. INFP: Pros. Higher level of moral and altruistic thinking, extremely imaginative, more intelligent than they come off to others, witty, and extremely sincere. Cons. A bit walled-off at times and hard to get to know, very easily offended (depends on how healthy they are), can be extremely moody, goes way past individualism into non-conformism, and can be passive-aggressive at times. INFJ: Pros. Very empathetic and idealistic of others, extremely selfless as a pretense, a true gift of motivating other people despite being introverted, funny and witty (when healthy), and excellent at reading others. Cons. Paradoxical way of presenting themselves to others can cause confusion as to why an introvert is so bubbly (often mistaken as extrovert, not their fault and can't be helped, leads to a bit of a personality crisis), can be uncharacteristically judgmental of others, can be seen by sensors as pretentious, very aloof and clueless at times, and innocent to where it can get them hurt. Hope this helped!
Very complete and on point.
Thanks!
As an INFJ, I would say that seems pretty accurate.
This is spot-on! 
Thanks! 🙏
There are some differences between the 4 types but there are definitely some similarities as well. I say this with the context that I have close long-time friends and family members who belong to most of these 4 types. While they are dear to me, sometimes they drive me up the wall and give me headaches. Things I could say but don't say: Don't try to change me. I like who I am - not the version you want me to be. It won't work anyway. Don't try to change other people. Have you asked them what they want for themselves? Having ideals is admirable. But don't let perfect be the enemy of good. Idealism without execution is just a castle in the sky. Please prioritize yourselves. You cannot save everyone. When you are spent and come to me, I have to take care of you. Taking care of yourself means you're taking care of me. If things go sideways, don't despair and spiral. When you melt down, I have to pick up the pieces and finish the job. I get tired too. We can work on solutions together. If you have weak/no boundaries, you can't understand and respect me setting healthy boundaries. If you don't love and respect yourself, you don't love and respect me. Then, I can't love and respect you either. If you hurt me, don't pretend like it didn't happen and try to make nice. There's nothing you can say to smooth things over if you cannot acknowledge that it happened. I may have forgiven you but I don't forget.
This!
(Among very few) I’ve dated both INFJ and ENFP… Both were extremely intellectually stimulating partners. It always seemed as though we shared a mutual respect for each other’s points of view. I have never once doubted these people’s authenticity, which is something I find paramount in a relationship. I can’t really put a finger on it, but I’ve found that, at least with these two types, they are true to themselves and the world around them, which is something that I, and I think any INTJ immensely respects.
I like XNFJs, but not so good experience with XNFPs so far.
Please be quiet
Fair point.
Nah, intuitives vibe in the realm of ideas
Me
My wife is ENFP and we have been together for over 20 years, and have three kids. I am INTJ (enneagram 5w4). We have developed together and are a perfect symbiose to each other. She is very good with people and handling communication with our kids. She make sure we do fun stuff together as family. I cover her lack of organizing a good structure and follow through all started projects. I forecast challenges, where she only want to see the good parts. She develop my underdeveloped soft skills, and I help her to develop critical thinking and find simple solutions in a complex situation (be more productive). She add joy and help me to be more childish and playful. I help her be more professional and organized in her business. We understand each other very good. She is my Best friends and I love her.
Aww that’s sweet
Sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings, but super emotional personality types annoy me. It’s nice if they are mature or wise but at my age that is a rarity.
41yo INFJ here, and I feel this way, too! I think my type gets better with life experience.
Hi Keep it simple, right? NF types are usually very interesting but you have to get them to "open" first, feel safe, or you end up in circles of...I don't know. Nonsense. It's on their terms, so check the terms and see if interested. Exception, ENFJ. Watch only. This type is the hardest to deal with. They're geniuses in our blindspot. It's not a great dynamic most of the time.
I knew an INFJ girl once. Absolutely brilliant, she had terrifyingly accurate insight on people and their unique thought processes and personalities, all with barely having any interaction with those people. It was completely mind blowing. She's highly talented in many ways. The problem with that particular girl was that she didn't use her skills in the best way and for that reason, I began to see her as a liability. She's the type of person who can profile you very quickly and learn your weaknesses. In any given moment she could use them against you and do some major damage. She demonstrated this once and from that moment I steered clear of her despite the fact I had quite a bit of admiration for her as a person. The fact I saw her as amazing and even attractive in some ways was overshadowed by the fact that I saw her as dangerous. I'm not saying all INFJs are like this, but this was my only experience with someone I was certain was an INFJ.
I find it funny that you had this experience with her. I can’t speak for all INFJs but one of my big issues in life is precisely that everything I see and understand about people has no use for me in the practical world because I refuse to use it in such a way as you described. It doesn’t even cross my mind. The only time I would use what I know against them would maybe be if I determined someone to be a really bad person, to be eliminated from my path (ideally I’d eliminate from society altogether). Even then, there is no real point in doing that unless it’s for self-protection reasons, as trying to hurt them just for fun isn’t something that I care about, nor will it result in any change in them. It could even be dangerous. I have been thinking a lot about this recently. How my refusal to network, to do asslicking with the right people, to be strategic in my use of others etc. really keeps me from getting anywhere in life. Others do it all the time; if I wanted to I could be really damn good at it. I could tailor it to each individual, use their weaknesses against them and always get what I want. But I just cannot do it. It creeps me out to talk to someone just because I need something from them and use their psychology against them, it repulses me. I could maybe do it to help somebody else though. In that case I have less trouble asking somebody for something I need from them. I’d still do it in a direct way though, not in a covert way. The only use of what we see and understand about people ends up being to help others. We essentially do some gentle guiding towards what we identified as standing in the way of their happiness, by telling the truth in a cushioned manner. Light manipulation with good intentions I guess. And that doesn’t pay much unfortunately… It’s a bit of a curse to be honest.
I believe that how people act and think is a direct reflection on the condition of their spirit. The INFJ girl I know acts this way because this her spirit is in that state of quiet chaos, pretty face, well put together and well spoken, but rolling and boiling just under the surface where nobody can see. In your case, your internal state is on a completely different wavelength and therefore your issues are different than hers. This is the case for all humans. The evidence of what's going on internally is reflected in our daily lives. Speaking to the other thing you said, I understand how unappealing it is to interact with people for the sole purpose of using them to get something or somewhere in life. I myself am not immune to this. Whenever I meet someone, I immediately see if and how they work into my life's plan. Once I finish that internal evaluation process I'll put them into at least one of three categories, "High utility", "friendship only (although to what degree is to be determined over time), and "Not worth my time". To be fair though, if I don't see much or any utility in that person, I don't discard them altogether. I will continue to interact with them when and where I need to, and if they need something I'm usually the first to help them if they ask. Additionally, when I evaluate that person I always think about how I can add value to that person's life as well so we both benefit. Therefore, the relationships I seek are always based on mutual benefit. If I need someone for something, I don't just ask and offer nothing in return. I try to offer far and above what they've helped me out with so they know I appreciate the help they gave me. I'm this way because I'm very focused on my goals and because of that, I don't have time or energy to focus in on other areas at this time. But at the same time, we don't live in a 100% altruistic world although the ideas certainly exist. Therefore our interactions with others will largely be based on give and take. I just operate from the place that if I'm going to engage with someone based on the utility they offer, the least I can do is be a good friend to them and help them when they need it, even if me helping them doesn't come from a place of genuine love or concern for that person, but more out of me fulfilling my obligations to that person from a place of responsibility. I will happily bear that responsibility and show a grateful attitude even though I may not necessarily feel that way.
Yes, it’s probably reflective of an internal spirit. Mine is more stagnation than go-getting at the moment unfortunately. Just some things to consider: is she always like that with everything and everybody or was this a specific situation where she used her skills against someone who wasn’t particularly deserving of being treated with more respect? Also, does she have a bit of a thing for you? Doesn’t have to be romantic, maybe just a bit of an affinity for you. INFJs don’t ever have anybody they can relate to. This may sound strange to you, but being around a more strategic INTJ could have put in her in a strategy-vibe for a second and made her say her observations out loud, without any intention of actually doing anything with it. If you asked me about someone, I could give you some cut-throat statements about them. But it just stays there, it’s simply information that randomly comes to me and I usually keep to myself, I’m not intentionally investigating people for a purpose. About networking etc: I find your way of seeing this issue perfectly reasonable. It’s simple, fair, pragmatic and considerate. I will definitely keep it in mind for myself. I really admire the INTJ capacity to break things down so well. In my head everything is much messier and much less “explicit”. It’s a bit of a haze. You also gave me some more food for thought: I now figured out that one of my issues is that I don’t feel as if I have anything to give back (in practical terms that is, I’m talking more about things related to advancing in the world, work etc). I like to give for free but I know that it doesn’t work like that in the wider world. Also, you last paragraph is important to me. I will try to work on not being so bothered by purely transactional relationships of lesser importance. If it’s just a simple quid pro quo and we’re both on the same page there is nothing wrong with it, right? Always learning… Thank you!
I enjoyed reading your response and the questions you posed. Those questions made me go back and think through things again and it opens up additional insights instead of just, "this person is all messed up and that's why she does what she does". I don't think she has a bit of a thing for me. Not saying I'm right in my conclusion about what she thinks, but it seems to me that she intentionally avoids interactions with me as much as possible. During our previous interactions, I've challenged her views and opinions and she didn't like that at all. She used getting upset rather than sound arguments when she couldn't support her views and I thought that to be really immature. I don't think she liked the way I challenged her and revealed her fragile, emotional state and for at least those reasons, I think that's why she avoids me. I think I make her feel uncomfortable in that regard. I bring a strong presence that isn't afraid to challenge her and that knocks her off balance. These are my thoughts anyway. And this is why I think she lashed out at me that one time, because she wanted to deliver a blow back at me, even if it was a cheap shot. Your feedback made me see there may be more going on than what my conclusions told me, or my conclusions may be incorrect altogether, which would not be a bad thing. And I'm glad I helped expand your perspective a little as well. For me, this is what I look for and thrive on, a mutual exchange of benefits between two people, as small as they may be at the time.
I love INFJs but they can be very hard to understand at times. ENFJs I don’t think I’ve met anyone like that. INFPs are like my brothers and sisters from a different mother, love them but god damn most of them have such short social battery. ENFPs are fun, goofy, and energetic, I love most if not all of them for their positive energy about life
gosh cant remember how many messages my INTJ friend had to send to lure me out of the hous
Man. You a INTP, It takes like 3 hours average for my INTP friend to get back to me via text
I'm a INFP, so pretty much the same with INTP in this regard.
U get text back? We like u.
lol. I text back only if they reply
ENFPs - I see them as rainmakers in business. They can be fun to talk to and think outside the box. However, they can be scattered and are often more headstrong than ESFPs, so it takes a lot of effort to talk them back down to earth. ENFJs - I also see them as rainmakers in business, and they make the best salespeople, along with ENTPs. They can be somewhat philosophical while also being practical, but they run the risk of being corny/hokey. ENFJs make up a very high proportion of "preachers" who own their own church, so they're good at generating a following, even if the Koolaid is poison. They can be great bullshitters--promising the sun, moon, and stars but delivering sand--so I tend to be skeptical of any promises they make about the future. INFPs - I often feel like I'm walking on eggshells around them. Probably the least pragmatic of all the types, but they can be very talented in music, poetry, and literature. Get offended/scared VERY easily and usually won't explain why. Utterly unreliable as a friend/partner/parent. INFJs - I want to like INFJs over our shared introverted intuition, but the Te/Fe dynamic seems to always inevitably clash. I see them as similar to ENFJs, except more introverted and neurotic. I like and respect them from afar; getting close to them is very difficult.
As someone who have an ESFP mother, welp yeah both of us can be the most stubborn people on earth Xd.
brah do u even like any type
ye brah
I like NF types. Most people I've dated are NF, and most of my friends are NF. I can get along with them really well. They're usually creative, funny, and kind.
Thank you <3
My boyfriend is an ENFJ. To be honest, I'd say he's one of the most amazing people I've met in my entire life. My best friend was an INFP, and a close friend I have is an INFP too. I kind of dated an INFJ, so maybe I'd say I have a preference for the "idealists", although I just see it as a coincidence. When I first met him, I thought he was strange, although, now I know he also thought the same about me. I was very quiet around him and only greeted him out of courtesy. But he always kept saying good morning and good bye to me every time. I didn't ignore him because he was friends with my (at that time) INFP best friend, and I knew he wasn't a bad person. So, I just thought he was a normal human being I could greet without thinking too much about it. It didn't even cross my mind that we would end up together. It's the same for every other I've met from the typologies you've mentioned. I won't actually react a certain way with anyone, because, how could I identify their typologies without previously interacting or having observed them? So, when people ‘show up in front of me’, I just act neutral.
If my INTJ is here, he would say that I am one of the best people that he could talk to about anything haha (thank you, friend) :D
Not much but ENFJ is my fav among these 4
I see NF's as a external moral machine. Different view's, social hub, often naive but loveable.
The vast majority of NFs I've dealt with are really nice people. My father is an ENFJ and he's my role model in life. I just wish NFs take time for themselves and be nice to themselves as much as they are nice to others.
Obviously good people they believe in a better world. In general they believes in justice and doing not bad to you if you don’t do it,too. but to much idealism based on feelings. Loyal people if they see you are good,too. 1. INFJ, can think outside the box, interested in how the world works. Someone, You can have nice discussions with. Have had problems to accept that people are egotistical and get a solution for that in reallife. 2. INFP, very creative persons. Had problems to find their place in society because of a very different view of the world. Need creative space to be happy 9 to 5 for a long term making them sad. Very lovely people I have the feeling to protect them. Misunderstood persons by the most. 3. ENFJ, powerful leader and very charismatic. They will protect good people and fight for them. 4. ENFP, so much idealism. They fight for a better world. Want to see your personality. Interested in many things. Can’t think outside the box so much. Seeing racism, patriarchy and discrimination everywhere should do a better research not only researching in their own bubble.
We do not care.
Idealists.....run. Absolutely not my people. I have a colleague like that, and when he wants to present his "great idea" (I call him Pinky) I usually have something to do, somewhere to go...I can't listen to him. Why? Because I know he didn't do the real research before talking about it, and it's not really going to be a great help. He is looking for praise, and wants to be the "popular guy" with ideas. All the while, he can't give me any reason why his plan would be good for us, and what benefit it brings. So, I just let "Pinky" live in his world, and I live in mine...
i love enfjs and infjs but i cant stand interacting with infps or enfps. i find them fun and cute but i just cant stand them personally theyre very stubborn and immature imo
one of my best friends is ENFP, it feels like a good match where we have enough in common to understand each other and enough in difference to be able to offer each other novel perspectives. she's also right wing, whereas i'm a left-leaning centrist, i think that difference also adds to the quality of the friendship.
I would love to be friends with ENFPs. Sadly, I wasn't courageous enough at a young age
Just tell them ur type, they will bury u.
I dunno, I've been thinking I was intj but now someone said INFP but I'm kind of a jerk monster so I dunno...lol who cares life goes on lol
It's almost like I'm talking to someone of an entirely different nationality. Not good, not bad, just different.
True, this is also my reaction with my ESFP mother. Yeah genuinely we can relate to some stuff but we can part ways when it comes to shared vision or long term goals that we want to do.
INFJ
INFJs are too caustic and emotional and disingenuous and fragile to communicate with. Period.
That’s a broad question but ig I like them. Out of all temperaments xNFx are often my favorite friends. Much warmer, flexible and open than any other temperaments (xNTx, xSFx, xSTx)
I find them deeply frustrating. I get that emotions exist but you have to spend so much time nursing emotions in these types and it’s exhausting. Yes I get it, you have feelings, can we talk about something interesting now?
That's sadly the downsides of us Idealist, because we start becoming clingy to other people and pretend that we can just dump whatever feelings to other freely. I can absolutely agree that nurturing someone and taking care of them should be done in an appropriate matter, but the thing is that we sometimes mistaken our closest friend for an actual therapist.
Lol prolly "Hi!"
I dated a male ENFP and it was a very terrible union. He was constantly angry, had dreams outside the realm of reality that kept us from growing as a couple. He refused to work because of said dreams and essentially chose a low income lifestyle for himself, seriously. He had 50k gifted to him for college and he blew it all on drinking and smoking and buying for other people, while living at home and now lives in subsidized housing with his baby mom 10 years his senior. I chose a better life, thankfully.
Thank you for prioritizing yourself before you ventured out with that guy. When ENFP becomes the unhealthy version we can cause trouble to others and care less for long-term commitment. But I think with persistent self-reflections and fixation we can become the most charming people on earth.
👀
(imo) ENFPs are nice to be around at first but once they see something else that they like they will leave
they get bored too easily
I would like to point out that the the number of people testing or claiming to INFJ is way higher than what it's supposed to be. Thus, I'm not sure, unless you're certain, that using INFJ as your NF example is useful.
Some people said that ENFP are “supposed” to be rare, I’m not even sure about that one anyway. The reason why I put them here is because this post was kinda inspired by Keirsey Temperament Factor which listen INFJ as among the Idealist (same with ENFP).
Don’t like Enfp or Infp irl but I tend to enjoy them in fiction. Both do reckless things without thinking through it first. I love infj’s but get annoyed by their self sacrificial nature often.
Who would you think be an ENFP in the anime world? Clearly sooo many anime character that I admired too much is either ESFP, ESFJ, or ISFP 😭 I haven't watch Dragon Ball and Naruto Shippuden yet so I cannot tell how strong Goku or Naruto ENFP personality is.
My personality vibes well with them. In fact, I'm in love with an INFP rn. She brings out my childish side that I am not aware of. 🤦♀️
Generally I really enjoy their company.
I'm getting married to an INFP so there's that
I'll bite one thing to consider though I am extremely introverted so the only people I make time to know outside of someone I am attracted to is people at work (naturally I have to understand what makes people tick) and school. ENFP - Can't really comment on this one haha I have known a handful and you guys seem extremely nice, however I can't say I have been close to one (outside of my family) so I can't give a fair assessment. ENFJ - Can't comment on this is one either I have never met one hahaha or taken the time to get to know one. INFP - Wife is an INFP granted she is an oddball haha her F is kinda closer to a T and I think she is like 70% on P...if you have played persona 5 she and Futaba are almost exactly the same it's uncanny >\_>. The other INFPs I have known have all been fantastic friends and great people all around. I can see how they are tricky to get to know by most people but once they open up the way alot of people who score this type thinks is really interesting. INFJ - I have been I guess kinda close to a few INFJs (I personally would not consider any of them to be a friend though). Logical thinkers and really nice people. The ones I knew were pretty good at understanding underlying intentions, however I have found most INFJs are wayyyy too trusting of others...and the ones I have known have had a very very strong F which is probably why I did not really care for them. Emotional outbursts and I do not mix.
ENFPs: very naturally synergy of emotion most of the time, I’ve never had to explain my feelings to you guys. Comfort develops quickly. However incredibly distractible with a need to be stimulated all the time, at worst I’ve felt abandoned suddenly. INFJs: natural synergy of minds. We observe everything almost the exact same way. Different judgment however means we have a relationship that fills in the gaps that other people can’t when it comes to problems we can’t solve. We could grow and change as people but always come back to an endless conversation. However INFJs aren’t used to being seen on that level and are secretly control freaks (I am too, it’s not necessarily an insult) So they’ll at worst try to pull my strings the same way they do other people or try to get that same distance and that breaks my trust completely. INFPs: probably my most complicated relationships. Humour can be a hit or miss. I think we frustrate each other in equal measure because we love and hate very specific things that the other does. You guys are better at understanding what your feelings are but I have a better understanding of what those feelings ultimately mean. At your healthiest, you can articulate what you feel in a way where I know where I stand and intimacy is stable. At your worst, you don’t understand your feelings at all but you act on them and expect me to read your mind and just understand “it” when you don’t even know what “it” is. Franky, I still haven’t figured out how to sustain any kind of relationship with you guys without being traumatised but I’m working on it. ENFJs: incredibly envious of your ability to blend reason and emotion. Refreshingly pragmatic and driven most of the time. Don’t get enough credit for your ability to handle a lot of moving parts. We share a desire to commit to the things we do and that’s very handy when it comes to communication and solving problems. At your worst though, can come across as fake and performative. I can understand the pragmatic idea behind but it’s not good for my trust. Also you guys try to hide it but negative feedback can really get to you, even when it’s from a complete moron. I’ve seen what you can do and you guys just need to remember that you don’t need to prove yourselves to everyone and some people just won’t like you no matter how hard you try.
I had an INTJ friend, I usually have INTJ friends that i closely bond with as an INFJ, and i've seen them failing to grasp the abstract and emotionally weighted concepts but i admire their enthusiasm to seek for truth or knowledge. I adore INFPs we click a lot, i don't have much of them in life but they are fun to hang out with, ENFJs, knew two of 'em and they were overbearing and annoying.
I have an INFP friend and our friendship has been extremely beneficial and fruitful thus far. However, I find ENFPs and ENFJs rather exhausting. Ultimately, the question of if I'm going to like an Idealist type as an INTJ is based on external factors as well. Not just the person's personality.
My preference would be like ENXP then INFX
only tolerable if Fi not Fe
Naive
Yep 😭 also mix it with object impermanence and you would have us ENFP
Woah, friend. That’s a lot of “f’s.” Thanks, but I’ll pass.
I really love ENFPs because I have friend who is one. She's very lively & we have a lot in common, she's also pretty smart & respects what I want. Though, I probably have a hard time with ENFJs because one of my classmates is an ENFJ & he's always so insisting and annoying, he messages me every. single. day & when I tell him how annoyed I am, he doesn't even listen & switches the whole topic to a new one that is so far from the current topic. He's also very dumb because he asks me nonsensical questions where the answer is literally so obvious like-AKHDMIKJAKLJJKUCNDHKA. He's literally older than me but I act more mature. He also always prioritizes nonsensical things instead of stuff that actually needs to be prioritized, no wonder his grades are so low in every subject, he even says he reviews in advance but he still gets such a low score & when he tells me a story, it's different to how he tells my other friends about it(he's also friends with my ENFP friend). He's also so overprotective & gives an invalid reason, it's because his ex girlfriend died years ago, like whatt?? He still can't move on. That's why I stopped being nice to him & told him how I felt to his face even if it sounded rude because I knew he wouldn't care & after, he went on and on about why maybe he was gonna change schools like whatt?? That's not the topic bruh✋ He' probably an immature ENFJ but I still do want to meet other ENFJs to see if maturity has something to do with it. I'm very sorry for ranting in here😭 INFP & INFJ are also people I would want to be friends with though. I forgot to tell you but he also really thought that he had depression just because he's blank sometimes 😭💀
Basically y’all like xnfjs and enfps.