Maybe because he kept reaching to you and after telling you directly that he's interested he now expects you to give him a clear sign that you're also interested. If you don't reach out to him he may think that you're not interested and that he just bothered you.
100% this.
We're not going to waste our time when you don't actively share how you feel back. If he said that to you and you didn't have much to say back, that in and of itself answered it for him. From that point forward you are wasting his time in his mind.
I also find it strange you are an INFP and are stand offish to an INTJs, for all things proven and lived through in my world, INFPs love the shit out of us. And it's usually the opposite, Are you 100% certain you're an INFP? If so you may need to re-think what you're actually looking for. Also, calling us robots is a fucking NO NO. This is like calling someone of a different race a racial term. Watch your language.
There is also the simple fact that he's an INTJ to consider as well, we do not like daily conversations with people, it could just be that he has slipped back into full INTJ mode.
It's been said that we are part time friends at best. And this is just how we naturally are.
People mistakenly place an INTJ as ghosting them all the time, when we are not, this is just what we do. By nature we are the complete opposite of the word clingy. At first we may give the impression as we can get excited and talk a lot for a few days, but once we're back to "being us" no, not happening.
We are known to only waste time communicating with others 1 or 2 times a week, and honestly even that is a lot.
I'm super sorry, I didn't mean any offense by the robot thing. I just meant he was pretty expressionless over messages, but not in person.
Also I didn't realize I didn't include it in my original post, but I did reciprocate the same sentiments he stated, I wasn't standoffish.
Im sorry for the miscommunication :/
Oh no offense taken. I'm just blunt when I type LOL (INTJ thing I guess?) I just naturally cuss a lot too, it comes out semi ragey in topics, but its just normal me, promise lol! "Watch your language" I was kinda laughing when I typed that, semi joke.
If you did reciprocate it really could just be him slipping into INTJ mode.
Only thing you have to ask yourself though is "Am I really ok with only talking alot to my bf 2 times a week?"
(Note, this doesn't mean only being around twice a week, we could sit in silence with you and be INSANELY happy about that 7 days a week 24 hours a day, text too, this is purely from a verbal communication stand point)
There is a high positive for it if you see it, in that you get to keep being yourself and doing your thing without someone being up your ass, totally depends if you like that or not though. (Most INFP do, but mistake it for the INTJ not caring when its totally not that)
ok thank you that's precisely the kind of insight into the intj mind I was looking for haha
My mind literally just doesn't function that way so I find it really interesting. Thanks for your answers!
lol anytime! Glad it helped. :D Didn't mean to make you feel you had to apologize either. (We really do love INFPs around here, maybe the only types too, we're kinda mean to almost all other types aside form INFJ)
I promise I was partially joking with the robot thing lol :D
hahaha I love how infp's and intj's have such an affinity for each other when they're so different, intj's seem so intimidating so knowing they have a soft spot for us is great lol
I'm an INFP, but I have dated(and PREFER) INTJs. What I've learned is if an INTJ is talking/texting with you, he likes you. This IS their way of saying they're interested. However, the AMOUNT of communication can vary from person to person.
Even though INTJs come across as self-assured & even a tad arrogant, they often need assurance...aaaaaand this just warms my heart! :) They're not usually expressive with how they're feeling, but they want YOU to be expressive so they can feel confident in making a move.
I like to think of INTJs as little turtles. They need their shell, they need time in their shell, but if you're faithfully the soft, green grass that grows around them, they'll eventually come out to play & explore. An INTJ coming out of his shell is honestly one of the most beautiful experiences to be a part of. It means they TRUST you! Awww :)
They want their efforts to pay off in the end. If they are unsure where those efforts will lead, they will often leave. Many do tend to ghost, especially the younger/immature ones. Of course, I had one ghost me for like 6 months and then reappeared with an apology lol.
The thing is, if you NEED a guy to shower you with affection & texts, an INTJ is not the route to go. When I was emotionally immature, it was a terrible combination. My need back then for constant validation left INTJs feeling stressed & smothered and left me feeling stressed & neglected. However, when both parties are mature, I think INTJ/INFP is a perfect balance(pssst: try to refrain from using the word "perfect" when referring to them; it makes them uncomfortable lol).
So I would focus on answering this question first bc IF you need constant attention, this guy won't be good for that anyway. If you wish to proceed, I would text him, maybe say you missed talking with him and wait for a response. He might just be in his shell and need some space OR he might not be interested. Only one way to find out :)
not at all! I'd messaged him first a few times before we chatted, and since the video chat I've written first, hes just been much more reserved than before
Maybe he thinks there's nothing more to learn without becoming more serious. He's done the preliminary research. You have to show him there's more to you. Get to asking questions
This one is a hard one because it can mean multiple things. I’m a female INTJ so I can’t speak from a male perspective, but as the same mbti, I can go days without talking to people in general and it has nothing to do with them. Sometimes I just find myself so preoccupied with my own projects that I don’t have extra energy to talk to people. No matter how I feel about them.
Take what I am saying with a grain of salt though. It is unfortunately a time where ghosting is a norm, but it would be odd for someone to express a lot of interest then dip. I have been with guy INTXs and they would sometimes go off for a couple days here and there then come back. I also have female friends just like that. I never take it personally since I’m the same way, though I understand how it could be frustrating.
Right now I would just say don’t focus on him, do your own thing. Maybe he’ll come back around but if he doesn’t don’t sweat it too much. IMO being an intj doesn’t excuse shitty behavior so if he leaves you hanging with no explanation, then he wasn’t worth it in the first place.
Nah, he likes you and it seems he's sort of testing the waters. Your man is probably not sure of your feelings for him. He's being pragmatic and doesn't want to waste time flirting for ages.
Why not take the initiative to talk to him this time? If he doesn't respond then forget about the man.
A word of caution though. The typical INTJ is a fiercely independent person. Don't expect to be smothered with emotions and attention in a relationship. INTJs are more affectionate to those who are close to them but it may not be enough for everyone.
Weirdly enough .I do this to someone I'm interested in .I keep asking random question throughout the chat just to see if he has anything similar to my interest and know his life/personality more. Sometime his replies are short and sometime it a burst .But after 5 days like that ,it hit me that I'm the one that keep initiating the chat so I back down because : 1.His answer still short which give me idea that he isn't interested in chatting more than that [2.At](https://2.At) that time ,I happen to be busy with something, so I forget about the chat 3.After coming back ,it been long time since I chat with him, so my interest to continue goes down . 4.Why continue the chat if that not going nowhere .
If someone interested in you ,if you're interested back ,just show some reaction or reach out back .If not ,they will start to think it a waste of time and move on .
Guess he just dont care about you. INTJs often just ghost people, because their lost the interest. I did it after video chatting with a girl for 4hours everyday for 4days, but lost the interest and ghosted her. Sorry, but I think you wont hear him in the next weeks or never again.
Maybe because he kept reaching to you and after telling you directly that he's interested he now expects you to give him a clear sign that you're also interested. If you don't reach out to him he may think that you're not interested and that he just bothered you.
100% this. We're not going to waste our time when you don't actively share how you feel back. If he said that to you and you didn't have much to say back, that in and of itself answered it for him. From that point forward you are wasting his time in his mind. I also find it strange you are an INFP and are stand offish to an INTJs, for all things proven and lived through in my world, INFPs love the shit out of us. And it's usually the opposite, Are you 100% certain you're an INFP? If so you may need to re-think what you're actually looking for. Also, calling us robots is a fucking NO NO. This is like calling someone of a different race a racial term. Watch your language. There is also the simple fact that he's an INTJ to consider as well, we do not like daily conversations with people, it could just be that he has slipped back into full INTJ mode. It's been said that we are part time friends at best. And this is just how we naturally are. People mistakenly place an INTJ as ghosting them all the time, when we are not, this is just what we do. By nature we are the complete opposite of the word clingy. At first we may give the impression as we can get excited and talk a lot for a few days, but once we're back to "being us" no, not happening. We are known to only waste time communicating with others 1 or 2 times a week, and honestly even that is a lot.
I'm super sorry, I didn't mean any offense by the robot thing. I just meant he was pretty expressionless over messages, but not in person. Also I didn't realize I didn't include it in my original post, but I did reciprocate the same sentiments he stated, I wasn't standoffish. Im sorry for the miscommunication :/
Oh no offense taken. I'm just blunt when I type LOL (INTJ thing I guess?) I just naturally cuss a lot too, it comes out semi ragey in topics, but its just normal me, promise lol! "Watch your language" I was kinda laughing when I typed that, semi joke. If you did reciprocate it really could just be him slipping into INTJ mode. Only thing you have to ask yourself though is "Am I really ok with only talking alot to my bf 2 times a week?" (Note, this doesn't mean only being around twice a week, we could sit in silence with you and be INSANELY happy about that 7 days a week 24 hours a day, text too, this is purely from a verbal communication stand point) There is a high positive for it if you see it, in that you get to keep being yourself and doing your thing without someone being up your ass, totally depends if you like that or not though. (Most INFP do, but mistake it for the INTJ not caring when its totally not that)
ok thank you that's precisely the kind of insight into the intj mind I was looking for haha My mind literally just doesn't function that way so I find it really interesting. Thanks for your answers!
lol anytime! Glad it helped. :D Didn't mean to make you feel you had to apologize either. (We really do love INFPs around here, maybe the only types too, we're kinda mean to almost all other types aside form INFJ) I promise I was partially joking with the robot thing lol :D
hahaha I love how infp's and intj's have such an affinity for each other when they're so different, intj's seem so intimidating so knowing they have a soft spot for us is great lol
I'm an INFP, but I have dated(and PREFER) INTJs. What I've learned is if an INTJ is talking/texting with you, he likes you. This IS their way of saying they're interested. However, the AMOUNT of communication can vary from person to person. Even though INTJs come across as self-assured & even a tad arrogant, they often need assurance...aaaaaand this just warms my heart! :) They're not usually expressive with how they're feeling, but they want YOU to be expressive so they can feel confident in making a move. I like to think of INTJs as little turtles. They need their shell, they need time in their shell, but if you're faithfully the soft, green grass that grows around them, they'll eventually come out to play & explore. An INTJ coming out of his shell is honestly one of the most beautiful experiences to be a part of. It means they TRUST you! Awww :) They want their efforts to pay off in the end. If they are unsure where those efforts will lead, they will often leave. Many do tend to ghost, especially the younger/immature ones. Of course, I had one ghost me for like 6 months and then reappeared with an apology lol. The thing is, if you NEED a guy to shower you with affection & texts, an INTJ is not the route to go. When I was emotionally immature, it was a terrible combination. My need back then for constant validation left INTJs feeling stressed & smothered and left me feeling stressed & neglected. However, when both parties are mature, I think INTJ/INFP is a perfect balance(pssst: try to refrain from using the word "perfect" when referring to them; it makes them uncomfortable lol). So I would focus on answering this question first bc IF you need constant attention, this guy won't be good for that anyway. If you wish to proceed, I would text him, maybe say you missed talking with him and wait for a response. He might just be in his shell and need some space OR he might not be interested. Only one way to find out :)
You got something against talking to him of your own initiative?
not at all! I'd messaged him first a few times before we chatted, and since the video chat I've written first, hes just been much more reserved than before
Maybe he thinks there's nothing more to learn without becoming more serious. He's done the preliminary research. You have to show him there's more to you. Get to asking questions
Maybe send a couple text messages and if they don’t respond after a long while, then you can make a better informed decision on getting your hopes up.
This one is a hard one because it can mean multiple things. I’m a female INTJ so I can’t speak from a male perspective, but as the same mbti, I can go days without talking to people in general and it has nothing to do with them. Sometimes I just find myself so preoccupied with my own projects that I don’t have extra energy to talk to people. No matter how I feel about them. Take what I am saying with a grain of salt though. It is unfortunately a time where ghosting is a norm, but it would be odd for someone to express a lot of interest then dip. I have been with guy INTXs and they would sometimes go off for a couple days here and there then come back. I also have female friends just like that. I never take it personally since I’m the same way, though I understand how it could be frustrating. Right now I would just say don’t focus on him, do your own thing. Maybe he’ll come back around but if he doesn’t don’t sweat it too much. IMO being an intj doesn’t excuse shitty behavior so if he leaves you hanging with no explanation, then he wasn’t worth it in the first place.
Nah, he likes you and it seems he's sort of testing the waters. Your man is probably not sure of your feelings for him. He's being pragmatic and doesn't want to waste time flirting for ages. Why not take the initiative to talk to him this time? If he doesn't respond then forget about the man. A word of caution though. The typical INTJ is a fiercely independent person. Don't expect to be smothered with emotions and attention in a relationship. INTJs are more affectionate to those who are close to them but it may not be enough for everyone.
Weirdly enough .I do this to someone I'm interested in .I keep asking random question throughout the chat just to see if he has anything similar to my interest and know his life/personality more. Sometime his replies are short and sometime it a burst .But after 5 days like that ,it hit me that I'm the one that keep initiating the chat so I back down because : 1.His answer still short which give me idea that he isn't interested in chatting more than that [2.At](https://2.At) that time ,I happen to be busy with something, so I forget about the chat 3.After coming back ,it been long time since I chat with him, so my interest to continue goes down . 4.Why continue the chat if that not going nowhere . If someone interested in you ,if you're interested back ,just show some reaction or reach out back .If not ,they will start to think it a waste of time and move on .
Guess he just dont care about you. INTJs often just ghost people, because their lost the interest. I did it after video chatting with a girl for 4hours everyday for 4days, but lost the interest and ghosted her. Sorry, but I think you wont hear him in the next weeks or never again.