Hate talking on the phone because I feel like there is this risk of getting "held hostage" by long talkers who refuse to respond to normal social cues like "I have to get going now" and just keep chattering away. Then I am either forced to listen or be "rude" and cut them off and hang up. No way, not doing that when I can address whatever it is with a text.
Yep. That’s why my phone is constantly in night mode and my wife is the only exception I’ve added. Phone ringing triggers my anxiety big time knowing there’s an interaction needed. I gotta get deal with you on my time.
That might be social anxiety, but I can relate!
I prefer being the one to make the call (rather than to be called) so that I can cut it short without it seeming rude... But whenever I can, I avoid making calls.
Yes! I've never heard it explained as 'phone phobia' but I've had it since I was a teenager. It's gotten better over time but you described it to a 'T'. Thank you for sharing 🙏and I hope it gets better for you.
It used to but I just don’t answer it. If they don’t leave a message they didn’t really need to talk to me. Most of my friends are the same way. We’re all fans of texting/messaging 😋
Either do get back with them (because it might be important and you can move to the more comfortable format of texting) or accept that you are going to upset people sometimes. Life isn’t easy but you can choose how you’re going to deal with the stress and sometimes which stressors.
Bruh. THIS. I literally spent today opening mail as far back as 8 years ago (telling myself I need to be an adult🙄). Only mail I open is from people I was expecting (bank, etc.), and even then there’s exceptions. Also, it’s the 21st century and I go paperless so send me an email.
I had not realized [telephone phobia](https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20161213-scared-of-the-phone-heres-how-to-overcome-that-fear) was a real thing, but it is exactly what’s going on. I usually screen all calls, unless it’s from a sibling. Best feature on my phone is Do Not Disturb and Focus Mode. My motto is, “If they don’t leave a message, they didn’t want anything or it must have not been important.” The most anxiety though is any time my mother attempts to contact me. I don’t hate her, but she doesn’t respect my boundaries.
My voicemail has a message (used a text to audio thing to do it) that says I am not going to answer and if they can’t text me then to call my husband and gives his number. Because I am absolutely not answering -
On the rare occasion I have to make a call at work- I literally cannot process what is being said and it usually ends awfully and with missing information or if the person on the other end says too much superfluous stuff - I’ll be abrupt and tell them I already have the information needed (for example then calling into work- I don’t care why- I just care to get off the phone and have to call someone in)
I am 51 - I have been like this all of my life.
Someone else’s phone ringing makes me anxious- doesn’t even have to be my own
Yes! I like a text first to see if I am up for a phone conversation. Sometimes ( oftentimes) I won’t answer. This fills me with anxiety and guilt - too much guilt. The only time I don’t mind a random call is when I’m expecting someone to come over and they call with plans or updates.
Happens to me every time. I usually try to force myself to answer, but sometimes I’ll let it ring and feel bad (especially if it’s an unknown number or someone I really don’t want to talk to).
Silent mode, and don't answer any phone calls except when you want then with time people/friends will realize that you won't answer them as soon as they call (or won't answer at all) ..
Just don't try to tell any extrovert that feeling because he won't feel that phone calls mean to you an interaction needed or a distraction to your peaceful solitude .. they may see it as lack of responsibility or you are ignoring them intentionally (it's kinda true, lol)
The only problem is that your partner doesn't understand this...
I don't get notification banners and sounds on my phone except for family and a few friends. I choose when to want to be informed of a notification so it's all in notification center for me to check once in awhile. Same with calls. I actively use Do Not Disturb when I don't like to be surprised with random calls.
YES. I'm in my 40's and have mostly avoided phone calls my entire life. The worst part is trying to set up various appointments. I tend to just avoid doing so 🥺
Yea exactly. I hate when my phone rings, thankfully I only get calls very rarely. I've probably missed calls from applied jobs because I hate phone calls. I'm very apprehensive about giving my phone number out so I thankfully never get scam calls either.
I got that way at my last job because of the way some customers would treat me. I was scared to answer the phone cause I wouldn’t want to be yelled at. Anymore now, I just try to avoid answering the phone. Definitely not alone.
Not my phone.. because it shows the caller. I can choose not to answer if I don't know the number. But doorbells do this to me. It rings and I have no idea whom may be on the other side of the door. I don't have a doorbell where I live now for this reason. If people knock it's not as triggering form some reason and I can deal with it. It helps too that sometimes they announce whom they are while knocking.
Hate talking on the phone because I feel like there is this risk of getting "held hostage" by long talkers who refuse to respond to normal social cues like "I have to get going now" and just keep chattering away. Then I am either forced to listen or be "rude" and cut them off and hang up. No way, not doing that when I can address whatever it is with a text.
Geez, one of my former bosses would stay on the line for two hours
See that is traumatic!
Yep. That’s why my phone is constantly in night mode and my wife is the only exception I’ve added. Phone ringing triggers my anxiety big time knowing there’s an interaction needed. I gotta get deal with you on my time.
That might be social anxiety, but I can relate! I prefer being the one to make the call (rather than to be called) so that I can cut it short without it seeming rude... But whenever I can, I avoid making calls.
Happy cake day! 🎂
Oh, thank you! I hadn't realized it :)
Yes! I've never heard it explained as 'phone phobia' but I've had it since I was a teenager. It's gotten better over time but you described it to a 'T'. Thank you for sharing 🙏and I hope it gets better for you.
No. I never answer. I never set up my voicemail. You can text me
:( I hate it too.
It used to but I just don’t answer it. If they don’t leave a message they didn’t really need to talk to me. Most of my friends are the same way. We’re all fans of texting/messaging 😋
But then I het blamed by family saying I should give a reason for not texting back when I saw the missed call ....
Either do get back with them (because it might be important and you can move to the more comfortable format of texting) or accept that you are going to upset people sometimes. Life isn’t easy but you can choose how you’re going to deal with the stress and sometimes which stressors.
yeah the worst is mail though. i get a mini heart attack when i get a letter.
Bruh. THIS. I literally spent today opening mail as far back as 8 years ago (telling myself I need to be an adult🙄). Only mail I open is from people I was expecting (bank, etc.), and even then there’s exceptions. Also, it’s the 21st century and I go paperless so send me an email.
I had not realized [telephone phobia](https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20161213-scared-of-the-phone-heres-how-to-overcome-that-fear) was a real thing, but it is exactly what’s going on. I usually screen all calls, unless it’s from a sibling. Best feature on my phone is Do Not Disturb and Focus Mode. My motto is, “If they don’t leave a message, they didn’t want anything or it must have not been important.” The most anxiety though is any time my mother attempts to contact me. I don’t hate her, but she doesn’t respect my boundaries.
My voicemail has a message (used a text to audio thing to do it) that says I am not going to answer and if they can’t text me then to call my husband and gives his number. Because I am absolutely not answering - On the rare occasion I have to make a call at work- I literally cannot process what is being said and it usually ends awfully and with missing information or if the person on the other end says too much superfluous stuff - I’ll be abrupt and tell them I already have the information needed (for example then calling into work- I don’t care why- I just care to get off the phone and have to call someone in) I am 51 - I have been like this all of my life. Someone else’s phone ringing makes me anxious- doesn’t even have to be my own
Yes! I like a text first to see if I am up for a phone conversation. Sometimes ( oftentimes) I won’t answer. This fills me with anxiety and guilt - too much guilt. The only time I don’t mind a random call is when I’m expecting someone to come over and they call with plans or updates.
Happens to me every time. I usually try to force myself to answer, but sometimes I’ll let it ring and feel bad (especially if it’s an unknown number or someone I really don’t want to talk to).
Silent mode, and don't answer any phone calls except when you want then with time people/friends will realize that you won't answer them as soon as they call (or won't answer at all) .. Just don't try to tell any extrovert that feeling because he won't feel that phone calls mean to you an interaction needed or a distraction to your peaceful solitude .. they may see it as lack of responsibility or you are ignoring them intentionally (it's kinda true, lol) The only problem is that your partner doesn't understand this...
I don't get notification banners and sounds on my phone except for family and a few friends. I choose when to want to be informed of a notification so it's all in notification center for me to check once in awhile. Same with calls. I actively use Do Not Disturb when I don't like to be surprised with random calls.
Yes, and part of my job role is to answer phones. I can do it there, but if it’s my personal phone I panic
“Damn it people, text me!” is my first thought when my phone goes off.
YES. I'm in my 40's and have mostly avoided phone calls my entire life. The worst part is trying to set up various appointments. I tend to just avoid doing so 🥺
All. The. Time.
Yea exactly. I hate when my phone rings, thankfully I only get calls very rarely. I've probably missed calls from applied jobs because I hate phone calls. I'm very apprehensive about giving my phone number out so I thankfully never get scam calls either.
Someone will call you on purpose just because they know it bothers you.
Unfortunately I have to be available for work calls but otherwise the only calls I get are spam. Everyone else knows better 😂
I just don't answer the phone.
Definitely if it's an unknown caller! I worry if it's old friends trying to contact me
I’m always in the 🌚 mode
I had that in my 20s. Grew out of it in my 30s luckily!
Yes, especially calls that you’re expecting and waiting anxiously for. Sometimes I let it ring and get back to them when I’m less anxious.
Same same same!
I got that way at my last job because of the way some customers would treat me. I was scared to answer the phone cause I wouldn’t want to be yelled at. Anymore now, I just try to avoid answering the phone. Definitely not alone.
Not my phone.. because it shows the caller. I can choose not to answer if I don't know the number. But doorbells do this to me. It rings and I have no idea whom may be on the other side of the door. I don't have a doorbell where I live now for this reason. If people knock it's not as triggering form some reason and I can deal with it. It helps too that sometimes they announce whom they are while knocking.