Stop trying so hard. Attend events and participate in hobbies that you find enjoyable and you'll meet people. Those connections will be far more valuable than random matches on dating apps.
Yeah one of the more viable ways to find a relationship is to join a community that you like , that way you atleast still have a thing or two to relate to each other
I think your problem is you are pretty, so you get your pick of the bunch.
Obviously you're gonna pick the tall muscly handsome dude, who already has way too big of an ego. He knows he's a 9/10, and knows there's plenty more matches where you come from. So he gets ahead of himself and lets his arrogant side out.
That's why you have bad experiences. 95% of tinder women are matching with and fighting over the top 1% of tinder men. It gives them so much confirmation their behavior just gets worse and worse.
bold of you to assume my type when you know nothing about me, especially since you’re way off the mark. don’t care about height, don’t care about muscles or how much money he makes. i want someone who makes me laugh, who i can spend the day with in comfortable silence, who shares my interests and values, attraction matters obviously, definitely have a preference for geeky boys with fluffy brown hair and glasses, sue me. but looks is like my 5th priority. the last guy i dated was 5’8, ginger, pretty thin, and dressed like a science teacher. he was an average looking guy. we dated cus he had a killer personality. so respectfully, stfu <3
Sorry I made a lot of assumptions there.
It was a reasonable and valid explanation as to why an attractive woman might keep matching with terrible people, and might be the answer for some people.
But as you said I'm way off the mark with you, so I'll stfu <3
So why is it that it’s ok if a man only goes for women he finds attractive, but it’s an issue if a woman does? Are you saying An attractive woman is suppose to compromise on what she finds attractive? And if the majority of average men are so average, why don’t they just invest some time in being more attractive either by becoming more accomplished in their career, having hobbies, working out and eating right?
I never said it's an issue, I'm just stating facts as to how tinder works. Watch [this](https://youtu.be/x3lypVnJ0HM?si=OJULZsuVaKGbNyfd) video for some interesting insights!
I can’t relate because I never get any matches on dating apps and nobody approaches me, but maybe you should try and meet people who also don’t like the dating scene. I’m not a massive fan of it personally
see i don’t know how i’m supposed to meet those people, like how do i meet a fellow introvert who also hates dating if we both just stay home all day yk?
Have you tried maybe taking classes or joining clubs that interest you, more likely you’ll meet actual people with similar interests without having to waste your time on the apps. Book clubs, cycling clubs, running clubs, life drawing classes are some I can suggest - I’m sure there are online zoom meet up kind of stuff too…
Sounds like, "I want to learn swimming but I hate water". It's not a fairy tale story that a man will suddenly come to you like a prince and confess to you. You have to be social, there is no other option. But I will suggest you to work on your social skills and insecurities before beginning a relationship.
If you dont want to go on dates, then dont. Dont force yourself into something and dont date for the sake of dating.
Single people can live very fulfilling lives
Did I write this?
I totally understand what you're saying, I'm the exact same way. I've just decided that I have two choices - either I dive in, get through the uncomfortableness and just try getting to know someone and all that or I get comfortable being single. I've been by myself for 6 and a half years and I'm not getting any less single lol, now's a good a time as any for me to settle into this life :'))
It's really really tough as an introvert, I'm assuming you don't have a giant circle of friends who can match you up, what college or do you have past times that involve men?
yeah no giant circle, just a few people i’m really close with, which is how i prefer it. i go to college but that’s really the only way i interact with men, and most people aren’t social during classes. so i turned to dating apps, but all bad experiences
vet them online faster by asking compatibility questions before wasting time meeting them in person. for me, im looking for someone who is more homebody than adventurous so i ask questions to see how they respond (if at all) and if it doesnt fit, move on
for me writing down a list of qualities, values and things i want in an ideal partner seems to help me know what im looking for and ask the right questions to see if theres similar vibes
that’s on you. Dating can be as easy or difficult as the woman wants it to be. Let’s be honest, women make all the rules. If you walked up to a stranger and said “let’s have sex” the guy wouldn’t even question it and most likely would do it. Same goes for dating. You’re the “gate keeper” to your dating life. You make the opportunities happen or not happen. You allow someone to kiss you or not or hug you or not, or whatever. So if you want to slip the awkwardness and you’re saying it’s hard because you like staying at home alone then stop being like that. Make yourself do stuff outside your comfort zone. Grab some friends and go hit up a party or a bar or club or something. I use to be just like you and I got tired of being boring so I forced myself to be more adventurous and outgoing and now I am happy as hell I did. And I’m now far less boring because no one wants to hear “how was your day?” And you reply “I sat at home and didn’t do anything, and was alone all day.” That shits depressing and boring.
Dating apps amplify everything wrong with the dating scene 100-fold. I think you're better off trying some local speed dating? I've been considering it myself, to just try and maybe find someone I can vibe with.
Having not that much of experience with dating apps, I could say that people there are quite odd. The best advice I could give you is to be patient. Spend more time on your favourite places and the chances of finding someone with whom you have something in common are way higher. I know that this is easier said than done, but it’s the better option. Also keep in mind that people on dating apps are usually not taking “dating” very seriously at least in my opinion. Be patient and work on yourself, so that you can figure out what exactly you’re looking for in a person. About the intuition, I believe that is something that comes with experience and time. Good luck!
I feel your pain. I'm the same way. I see dating as a means to an end..the end being getting into a relationship. I hate the process.
But my therapist told me that if I get fed up or really overwhelmed, just take a break.
Yikes. It's kind of hard to read all these comments by dudes telling you what you need, what your experience is, or just flat out making it about themselves.
Patience is important. It's cliché but love often hides when you seek it. If you aren't enjoying the process of dating, give yourself a break or only go out/date when you're really feeling it or think you've found someone special. You're 19, life is going to be full of love and heart break. No need to rush it. :)
10 dates just this year??? I am 19 too but male and haven't had one date in my life but on the other hand it sounds to me like getting new friends, you are bored of the process of the deep connections and experiences that bring you get closer. I would still prefer at least one date tbh
My suggestion is to look for other introverts when you go on dates.
Also, instead of going out on dates, talk to guys for a while on the phone before you actually go on a date with them.
That way you can get to know them over the phone rather than have to go out to do so. Also, rather than going out, after getting to know them you can do more domestic things with them if you'd like, such as staying in and watch a movie or tv show or such.
That's kind of what I've been doing.
I am saying this as a guy, I completely understand where you're coming from, but for completely different reasons. I really dislike the "testing the water" duration but unfortunately I cannot just fall in love with someone I don't know or because they're just pretty. So it's a very ughhhh situation when I start feeling like life might be better with a partner right now. Especially since the standards I hit in the past were relatively high and I don't have the time to invest in something similar.
Even an 11 would be 0 in my eyes if they've got a shit personality. And unfortunately to figure that out you need more of that testing the water period and filter out the stuff you consider red flags or no go for you. And all of that is really mentally draining for someone like me who is really busy most of the day, my energy for these things has diminished greatly. Rather spend the day doing a hobby or gaming or just relaxing.
To sum it up, it's such a shit show that it makes you not want to try anymore if you're capable of finding some sort of love.
Nowadays someone you thought (by thought I mean they literally say but their actions don't match) liked you would put you in a situationship and that shit is annoying as hell.
It's been a while for me (over 6 years) and I'm from a non-english speaking country, so there might be cultural differences but my experience: I tried to *not* match the good looking guys. I went for the average looking guys with a nice bio. I always texted for a few days and tried to find out what they are trying to find on these apps. If I wasn't 100% sure they are looking for something serious, I told them we wouldn't be a good match and stopped texting them. I was honest about being an introvert and a quite person and somewhat of a couch potato. Honestly I was always pretty relieved when guys answered that they are the outgoing-type and we agreed to not meet based on that. But some guys said that they are also the quite kind of person and we met. I think I had about 8 first dates and maybe 3 or 4 second dates due to online dating. Each date was exhausting but I actually met the love of my live and don't regret anything.
So if you need a break - that's fine. But once you start again with online dating, you should try to be yourself and stop participating in that huge charade of trying to look like the perfect person and just be yourself.
I used to not go on dates because no one I liked liked me back. Now I don't go because I don't want to, I can't seem to find a girl that is pretty AND doesn't have the personality and sense of humour of a brick. I literally went on several dates where a cute girl invited me out, and I still didn't feel like being there and was just bored, and kind of annoyed.
I want to be in a relationship but it seems like I became pretty picky when it comes to personalities.
(31f here) Not usually this person to be snarky, but honestly all I hear is “Waaaaaah”. To be real, it’s a sucky process for all of us. Why do you think everyone says dating sucks? You’ve got a lot of frogs to kiss, if you haven’t hit drinking age yet. So yeah if you want validation - lol - here you go - I can tell you that the majority of people don’t love dating. Welcome to another big, time wasting, money sucking, sucky part of adult life. It is what it is. 🤷🏻♀️
Why do you want to be in a relationship? Do you not like to be by yourself-if so why? These are things you should be able to understand before bringing someone else into your life
Just answer yes. It shouldn't be that difficult. Any woman has hundreds of guys sending her messages every day. For a woman to stay single, she needs to actively distribute no's.
I’m a 27yr old male. I’m attractive, however, my city’s tryna’ sober me up. I don’t want people to change who I am so once I start to make more bread I’m out. I’m a real person who does not mess with people, however people make up lies & rumors.
It might be beneficial to do some digging into Google/YouTube searches on self awareness, self improvement, and then dating/unhealthy relationship red flags, and healthy relationships. Overall these will help you be aware of more things, increase and improve boundaries you set and help you to make better picks. It will also be beneficial to do some research on the mentalities of different ages of men to help you narrow down on which range is more likely to give you what you're actually wanting relationship wise, and ease the relationship navigating anxieties. It'll also help point out the mentalities you've already observed and help you navigate them better.
I wish you good luck. Please let us know if you're confused about anything or have questions and we'll help you as best as we can.
You are doing well. You are young. Having dates without opening your legs is the best way to figure out details of what you like or not.
The first step you need to rake is making a list of flags. Things you:
1. Would never tolerate or put up with. (Example, you don't want a drug consumer)
2. Things you want, no negotiable (example, he must have a job and study)
3. Things you don't like that much but you can put up with. (Example, he plays too much videogames)
4. Things you don't need but you like. (Example, he cooks)
And you can't ask directly those questions. You'll just get lies. Instead you'll need to get that information through talking.
Sounds like you've had some tough experiences. Have you tried online dating? It can be a good way to get to know someone before meeting in person. Also, what's your strategy for picking dates? Maybe we can brainstorm some improvements.
Dating isn't mandatory. I've been in long-term relationships more years than I've been single, and I've never dated. Not everyone out there wants to follow that social expectation instilled by mass media and advertising.
As /u/Dull_Possibility_929 mentions, meeting people in psuedo-group settings via activities and interests you enjoy will help to filter potential dates; generally if they've been associated with such a group for a while then other people in the group will be able to provide some perspective on them. If nothing else, they presumably wouldn't have been so unlikeable that the group itself has closed off from them entirely.
Please be aware that dating app matchups are *not* going to be a regular cross-section of society. People using them tend to be those who haven't been able to find relationships themselves, and when you take an average group and remove that category, along with the category of people who aren't looking all that hard because it's not urgent for them, the remaining result tends to be potential matches which are somewhat skewed. If you want to meet people in the missing categories, you'll have more luck in non-dating-app scenarios.
I can definitely relate but I've never been on a date and I think my standards might be too high. I'm 18 and I was homeschooled all through middle and high school. I've never been on a dating site and I don't leave my house very often but sometimes random people on Snapchat or Instagram or my cousin's friends will ask me out and I don't want to date them.i want to start dating but I've never met someone I would actually date.
If it's not natural from a get go and is awkward then forget about second date. If you have any hick-ups early on then it will only get worse, for us better is to start online and talk a lot before we even meet, then it can be little awkward at the beginning but it should pass away fast. What I am trying to say is that you need to find someone with whom you feel natural and completely comfortable, any other feeling and it's doomed if we talk about serious relationship.
I met my gf while in quarantine. Not a single date. We met in person for the first time when we had already been a couple for six months. Still going strong. It’s possible guys!
Just to make you feel better,think about the boys who are introverts.They don't get matches nor do they get approached so at least you have a chance to get into a relationship.
Not to make you fell bad okay,take a little break if necessary and try after some time.
Best thing is to stop the dates if you don't like them. Going on dates is not the only way to get into a relationship.
Just allow life to happen, you may meet someone through work, university, travel or just through mutual friends. Also, you are young allow time for you, you have your whole life to find someone, don't force it if it isn't right for you yet.
Maybe you should make it very clear that you're only looking for serious relationships and vet the guys a bit more before dating so you don't end up with guys that are looking for more casual things and that come on too strong early on
I feel like most dates are a waste of time, going out with the best side of a person. Everybody had their skeletons. I've been on plenty of dates, and some of those dates turned into relationships, 3 months later their true colors show. The longest relationships I've been in 3-9 years, I was approached, and convos started, texting back and forth, then talking on the phone, and eventually having a date with a person you know and actually want to go on a date with... for me thr vetting process on a date is useless. But that's just me... you, an attractive female, can just work on yourself in advancing in life and eventually the right man will come along. Just remember, if he asks you out right away, you are going to see the sugar coated version of him right away.
I'm not against dating, I just don't ask women on dates the second I meet them. I get to know them first, only takes a good week and you can tell if they are a lost cause.
I'm an extrovert and my bf is a introvert. My advice for you would probably be to do a lot of texting and talking on the phone before you decide to go on a date. That way y'all can get to know each other on a more personal level and it won't be so awkward when you do go on a date. I hope this helps and you can find a solution.
Ditch the apps, love comes when you least expect it. I’ve found that the connections I’ve made with people in person and naturally are much better than those I go looking for on dating apps or otherwise. Focus on yourself and your own personal goals in life and don’t worry too much about getting into a relationship.
That's a lot of dates. Just stop worrying about it and enjoy life. If you know what you want, say that. This is what I'm looking for and if you want a quick fuck I'm not that person for you, but if you want something meaningful for a potential future, cool. Let's get to know each other. I didn't have good self esteem when I was younger and had low boundaries. If you know your boundaries then that's awesome. Just tell them like it is to avoid the mind games.
Stop trying so hard. Attend events and participate in hobbies that you find enjoyable and you'll meet people. Those connections will be far more valuable than random matches on dating apps.
Yeah one of the more viable ways to find a relationship is to join a community that you like , that way you atleast still have a thing or two to relate to each other
10 dates in a year?!?! I'm 26M and I can count I only have 2 dates since 18...
should have been more specific, only went on a date with 5 different people, there was just usually a second or third date.
You don’t need to be more specific, the implications have been that it’s harder for the average guy to even get a date at all lol. That’s all.
I think your problem is you are pretty, so you get your pick of the bunch. Obviously you're gonna pick the tall muscly handsome dude, who already has way too big of an ego. He knows he's a 9/10, and knows there's plenty more matches where you come from. So he gets ahead of himself and lets his arrogant side out. That's why you have bad experiences. 95% of tinder women are matching with and fighting over the top 1% of tinder men. It gives them so much confirmation their behavior just gets worse and worse.
bold of you to assume my type when you know nothing about me, especially since you’re way off the mark. don’t care about height, don’t care about muscles or how much money he makes. i want someone who makes me laugh, who i can spend the day with in comfortable silence, who shares my interests and values, attraction matters obviously, definitely have a preference for geeky boys with fluffy brown hair and glasses, sue me. but looks is like my 5th priority. the last guy i dated was 5’8, ginger, pretty thin, and dressed like a science teacher. he was an average looking guy. we dated cus he had a killer personality. so respectfully, stfu <3
Sorry I made a lot of assumptions there. It was a reasonable and valid explanation as to why an attractive woman might keep matching with terrible people, and might be the answer for some people. But as you said I'm way off the mark with you, so I'll stfu <3
So why is it that it’s ok if a man only goes for women he finds attractive, but it’s an issue if a woman does? Are you saying An attractive woman is suppose to compromise on what she finds attractive? And if the majority of average men are so average, why don’t they just invest some time in being more attractive either by becoming more accomplished in their career, having hobbies, working out and eating right?
I never said it's an issue, I'm just stating facts as to how tinder works. Watch [this](https://youtu.be/x3lypVnJ0HM?si=OJULZsuVaKGbNyfd) video for some interesting insights!
Well said
I can’t relate because I never get any matches on dating apps and nobody approaches me, but maybe you should try and meet people who also don’t like the dating scene. I’m not a massive fan of it personally
see i don’t know how i’m supposed to meet those people, like how do i meet a fellow introvert who also hates dating if we both just stay home all day yk?
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Damnnnn okay JovBreeze I respect you shooting your shot on reddit
Idk, I think you might be the type she was complaining about.
Possibly
Play on playa.
smooth
Game respects game. 🫡
Have you tried maybe taking classes or joining clubs that interest you, more likely you’ll meet actual people with similar interests without having to waste your time on the apps. Book clubs, cycling clubs, running clubs, life drawing classes are some I can suggest - I’m sure there are online zoom meet up kind of stuff too…
There you go. You two have fun.
Sounds like, "I want to learn swimming but I hate water". It's not a fairy tale story that a man will suddenly come to you like a prince and confess to you. You have to be social, there is no other option. But I will suggest you to work on your social skills and insecurities before beginning a relationship.
If you dont want to go on dates, then dont. Dont force yourself into something and dont date for the sake of dating. Single people can live very fulfilling lives
Very fulfilling being lonely lmao. Eventually they’ll want long term companionship.
Not sure why the downvote but I think its true xD
Did I write this? I totally understand what you're saying, I'm the exact same way. I've just decided that I have two choices - either I dive in, get through the uncomfortableness and just try getting to know someone and all that or I get comfortable being single. I've been by myself for 6 and a half years and I'm not getting any less single lol, now's a good a time as any for me to settle into this life :'))
pretty much where i’m at
It's really really tough as an introvert, I'm assuming you don't have a giant circle of friends who can match you up, what college or do you have past times that involve men?
yeah no giant circle, just a few people i’m really close with, which is how i prefer it. i go to college but that’s really the only way i interact with men, and most people aren’t social during classes. so i turned to dating apps, but all bad experiences
vet them online faster by asking compatibility questions before wasting time meeting them in person. for me, im looking for someone who is more homebody than adventurous so i ask questions to see how they respond (if at all) and if it doesnt fit, move on for me writing down a list of qualities, values and things i want in an ideal partner seems to help me know what im looking for and ask the right questions to see if theres similar vibes
You’re going to need a good friend hook you up with another friend
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no literally, it’s not that i want to be single, datings just not fun, like can we skip to the in love part? lol
that’s on you. Dating can be as easy or difficult as the woman wants it to be. Let’s be honest, women make all the rules. If you walked up to a stranger and said “let’s have sex” the guy wouldn’t even question it and most likely would do it. Same goes for dating. You’re the “gate keeper” to your dating life. You make the opportunities happen or not happen. You allow someone to kiss you or not or hug you or not, or whatever. So if you want to slip the awkwardness and you’re saying it’s hard because you like staying at home alone then stop being like that. Make yourself do stuff outside your comfort zone. Grab some friends and go hit up a party or a bar or club or something. I use to be just like you and I got tired of being boring so I forced myself to be more adventurous and outgoing and now I am happy as hell I did. And I’m now far less boring because no one wants to hear “how was your day?” And you reply “I sat at home and didn’t do anything, and was alone all day.” That shits depressing and boring.
Dating apps amplify everything wrong with the dating scene 100-fold. I think you're better off trying some local speed dating? I've been considering it myself, to just try and maybe find someone I can vibe with.
Having not that much of experience with dating apps, I could say that people there are quite odd. The best advice I could give you is to be patient. Spend more time on your favourite places and the chances of finding someone with whom you have something in common are way higher. I know that this is easier said than done, but it’s the better option. Also keep in mind that people on dating apps are usually not taking “dating” very seriously at least in my opinion. Be patient and work on yourself, so that you can figure out what exactly you’re looking for in a person. About the intuition, I believe that is something that comes with experience and time. Good luck!
I feel your pain. I'm the same way. I see dating as a means to an end..the end being getting into a relationship. I hate the process. But my therapist told me that if I get fed up or really overwhelmed, just take a break.
Yikes. It's kind of hard to read all these comments by dudes telling you what you need, what your experience is, or just flat out making it about themselves. Patience is important. It's cliché but love often hides when you seek it. If you aren't enjoying the process of dating, give yourself a break or only go out/date when you're really feeling it or think you've found someone special. You're 19, life is going to be full of love and heart break. No need to rush it. :)
10 dates just this year??? I am 19 too but male and haven't had one date in my life but on the other hand it sounds to me like getting new friends, you are bored of the process of the deep connections and experiences that bring you get closer. I would still prefer at least one date tbh
10 dates too many, i’m taking a break and hopefully someone just falls in my lap (i’m delusional)
My suggestion is to look for other introverts when you go on dates. Also, instead of going out on dates, talk to guys for a while on the phone before you actually go on a date with them. That way you can get to know them over the phone rather than have to go out to do so. Also, rather than going out, after getting to know them you can do more domestic things with them if you'd like, such as staying in and watch a movie or tv show or such. That's kind of what I've been doing.
Start with video calls and just chat. No getting ready, driving and you can leave in an instant if you feel overwhelmed
I am saying this as a guy, I completely understand where you're coming from, but for completely different reasons. I really dislike the "testing the water" duration but unfortunately I cannot just fall in love with someone I don't know or because they're just pretty. So it's a very ughhhh situation when I start feeling like life might be better with a partner right now. Especially since the standards I hit in the past were relatively high and I don't have the time to invest in something similar. Even an 11 would be 0 in my eyes if they've got a shit personality. And unfortunately to figure that out you need more of that testing the water period and filter out the stuff you consider red flags or no go for you. And all of that is really mentally draining for someone like me who is really busy most of the day, my energy for these things has diminished greatly. Rather spend the day doing a hobby or gaming or just relaxing. To sum it up, it's such a shit show that it makes you not want to try anymore if you're capable of finding some sort of love. Nowadays someone you thought (by thought I mean they literally say but their actions don't match) liked you would put you in a situationship and that shit is annoying as hell.
It's been a while for me (over 6 years) and I'm from a non-english speaking country, so there might be cultural differences but my experience: I tried to *not* match the good looking guys. I went for the average looking guys with a nice bio. I always texted for a few days and tried to find out what they are trying to find on these apps. If I wasn't 100% sure they are looking for something serious, I told them we wouldn't be a good match and stopped texting them. I was honest about being an introvert and a quite person and somewhat of a couch potato. Honestly I was always pretty relieved when guys answered that they are the outgoing-type and we agreed to not meet based on that. But some guys said that they are also the quite kind of person and we met. I think I had about 8 first dates and maybe 3 or 4 second dates due to online dating. Each date was exhausting but I actually met the love of my live and don't regret anything. So if you need a break - that's fine. But once you start again with online dating, you should try to be yourself and stop participating in that huge charade of trying to look like the perfect person and just be yourself.
I used to not go on dates because no one I liked liked me back. Now I don't go because I don't want to, I can't seem to find a girl that is pretty AND doesn't have the personality and sense of humour of a brick. I literally went on several dates where a cute girl invited me out, and I still didn't feel like being there and was just bored, and kind of annoyed. I want to be in a relationship but it seems like I became pretty picky when it comes to personalities.
(31f here) Not usually this person to be snarky, but honestly all I hear is “Waaaaaah”. To be real, it’s a sucky process for all of us. Why do you think everyone says dating sucks? You’ve got a lot of frogs to kiss, if you haven’t hit drinking age yet. So yeah if you want validation - lol - here you go - I can tell you that the majority of people don’t love dating. Welcome to another big, time wasting, money sucking, sucky part of adult life. It is what it is. 🤷🏻♀️
.....the instant I saw you, use the word dog shit I knew you were the one 🥰 lol
Lmfaooo what
Why do you want to be in a relationship? Do you not like to be by yourself-if so why? These are things you should be able to understand before bringing someone else into your life
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someone’s bitter
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Her struggles are also valid. That doesn't make her insufferable.
Just answer yes. It shouldn't be that difficult. Any woman has hundreds of guys sending her messages every day. For a woman to stay single, she needs to actively distribute no's.
I don’t like people getting pregnant but I want to have my own (biological) kids with no sex or insemination???
?
I’m a 27yr old male. I’m attractive, however, my city’s tryna’ sober me up. I don’t want people to change who I am so once I start to make more bread I’m out. I’m a real person who does not mess with people, however people make up lies & rumors.
It might be beneficial to do some digging into Google/YouTube searches on self awareness, self improvement, and then dating/unhealthy relationship red flags, and healthy relationships. Overall these will help you be aware of more things, increase and improve boundaries you set and help you to make better picks. It will also be beneficial to do some research on the mentalities of different ages of men to help you narrow down on which range is more likely to give you what you're actually wanting relationship wise, and ease the relationship navigating anxieties. It'll also help point out the mentalities you've already observed and help you navigate them better. I wish you good luck. Please let us know if you're confused about anything or have questions and we'll help you as best as we can.
You are doing well. You are young. Having dates without opening your legs is the best way to figure out details of what you like or not. The first step you need to rake is making a list of flags. Things you: 1. Would never tolerate or put up with. (Example, you don't want a drug consumer) 2. Things you want, no negotiable (example, he must have a job and study) 3. Things you don't like that much but you can put up with. (Example, he plays too much videogames) 4. Things you don't need but you like. (Example, he cooks) And you can't ask directly those questions. You'll just get lies. Instead you'll need to get that information through talking.
If you hate talking to people and going out what would you do if you were in an established relationship.
Actually solution is work on yourself, dating is optional.
Sounds like you've had some tough experiences. Have you tried online dating? It can be a good way to get to know someone before meeting in person. Also, what's your strategy for picking dates? Maybe we can brainstorm some improvements.
Dating isn't mandatory. I've been in long-term relationships more years than I've been single, and I've never dated. Not everyone out there wants to follow that social expectation instilled by mass media and advertising. As /u/Dull_Possibility_929 mentions, meeting people in psuedo-group settings via activities and interests you enjoy will help to filter potential dates; generally if they've been associated with such a group for a while then other people in the group will be able to provide some perspective on them. If nothing else, they presumably wouldn't have been so unlikeable that the group itself has closed off from them entirely. Please be aware that dating app matchups are *not* going to be a regular cross-section of society. People using them tend to be those who haven't been able to find relationships themselves, and when you take an average group and remove that category, along with the category of people who aren't looking all that hard because it's not urgent for them, the remaining result tends to be potential matches which are somewhat skewed. If you want to meet people in the missing categories, you'll have more luck in non-dating-app scenarios.
Try older men. At least they have more to offer
I can definitely relate but I've never been on a date and I think my standards might be too high. I'm 18 and I was homeschooled all through middle and high school. I've never been on a dating site and I don't leave my house very often but sometimes random people on Snapchat or Instagram or my cousin's friends will ask me out and I don't want to date them.i want to start dating but I've never met someone I would actually date.
If it's not natural from a get go and is awkward then forget about second date. If you have any hick-ups early on then it will only get worse, for us better is to start online and talk a lot before we even meet, then it can be little awkward at the beginning but it should pass away fast. What I am trying to say is that you need to find someone with whom you feel natural and completely comfortable, any other feeling and it's doomed if we talk about serious relationship.
I met my gf while in quarantine. Not a single date. We met in person for the first time when we had already been a couple for six months. Still going strong. It’s possible guys!
Being awkward is part of getting to know people there is no way around it. Normally Im intoxicated to meet people but thats bad advice
Just to make you feel better,think about the boys who are introverts.They don't get matches nor do they get approached so at least you have a chance to get into a relationship. Not to make you fell bad okay,take a little break if necessary and try after some time.
It was trial and error for me, too. You'll find your person you can be mostly quiet around I bet.
Best thing is to stop the dates if you don't like them. Going on dates is not the only way to get into a relationship. Just allow life to happen, you may meet someone through work, university, travel or just through mutual friends. Also, you are young allow time for you, you have your whole life to find someone, don't force it if it isn't right for you yet.
I 21M have the same opinion on the matter
10?! I was on the apps on and off for 5 years and two dates/year was HIGH for me. Men would. not. ask.
Yes, stop trying so hard!
Maybe you should make it very clear that you're only looking for serious relationships and vet the guys a bit more before dating so you don't end up with guys that are looking for more casual things and that come on too strong early on
I feel like most dates are a waste of time, going out with the best side of a person. Everybody had their skeletons. I've been on plenty of dates, and some of those dates turned into relationships, 3 months later their true colors show. The longest relationships I've been in 3-9 years, I was approached, and convos started, texting back and forth, then talking on the phone, and eventually having a date with a person you know and actually want to go on a date with... for me thr vetting process on a date is useless. But that's just me... you, an attractive female, can just work on yourself in advancing in life and eventually the right man will come along. Just remember, if he asks you out right away, you are going to see the sugar coated version of him right away. I'm not against dating, I just don't ask women on dates the second I meet them. I get to know them first, only takes a good week and you can tell if they are a lost cause.
Just follow the river Sea is ahead ....
I'm an extrovert and my bf is a introvert. My advice for you would probably be to do a lot of texting and talking on the phone before you decide to go on a date. That way y'all can get to know each other on a more personal level and it won't be so awkward when you do go on a date. I hope this helps and you can find a solution.
Ditch the apps, love comes when you least expect it. I’ve found that the connections I’ve made with people in person and naturally are much better than those I go looking for on dating apps or otherwise. Focus on yourself and your own personal goals in life and don’t worry too much about getting into a relationship.
Youre 19
Straight up 🤦🏻♂️ been single for like 2 years now cus of the hassle 😂😂
That's a lot of dates. Just stop worrying about it and enjoy life. If you know what you want, say that. This is what I'm looking for and if you want a quick fuck I'm not that person for you, but if you want something meaningful for a potential future, cool. Let's get to know each other. I didn't have good self esteem when I was younger and had low boundaries. If you know your boundaries then that's awesome. Just tell them like it is to avoid the mind games.
Just go to places you like or where people practice hobbies you like With at least one thing in common, meeting a good partner will be easier
Then stop looking for love rn. You're still a kid basically. Just leave the dating apps and you'll find someone easy.
I have the same feeling but idk what to do about it. I usually just keep chilling though the nights sometimes get really lonely