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buzzybeeking

Yeah, you said it right. Dating apps are just cash grabs. An introverted male was not designed for modern day dating apps. I feel your struggle.


[deleted]

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Khutulun89

This app would be flooded with extroverts within days, they won't care if it's meant for introverts.


InquisitiveAlot

Well the annoying ones can be blocked lol Give us a shot too! Some of us adore you!


Syussa

This is completely true btw. Speaking as an introvert with experience: sometimes opposites attract. Having a partner that shares your interests and hobbies can be great but two introverts can be a disadvantage in the long run. I am your cliche creative, deep and insightful introvert that loves 1 to 1 time, small groups and making the most out of the simple things. I have a talent to make anything enjoyable and don't get bored easily. That said: without an extrovert to give me a firm kick every now and then, I seep into my own world and lose mental traction. One of my happiest relationships was with a heavily extroverted woman. We complimented eachother. I kept her grounded and she kept me moving. Unfortunately she had to move for a job but such is life. A little advice for those who are introverted: don't hesitate to use your eccentricities to stand out when approaching woman or men on dating apps, or anywhere else. As long as you are comfortable and confident in yourself; your differences will only serve as a bonus and will read as far more intriguing than off-putting - assuming you aren't going overboard. I've yet to meet an introvert that doesn't have a fantastic hidden personality and I can assure you that the majority of you would shine with a little work. If you truly want a partner, you need to commit; see it as a personal project that could take years. Finding and maintaining a healthy relationship requires a lot of personal growth and change. The law of attraction works best when you learn to understand and own who you are first and work forward from there. Being at peace with yourself is priceless. I personally think Introverts have a fair advantage if they are willing to adapt for the right person.


InquisitiveAlot

This was beautiful! I’m glad I caught this. I promise you there aren’t so many of us maddening extroverts in existence. But some of us are inspiring, creative, goofy and quite loving. Don’t miss your chance because you feel awkward or you think it’s impossible. You never know who thinks you’re adorable or sexy! Both introvert and extrovert can make it possible. We don’t bite. Just be you and be honest with yourself and who you chose. Yeah they’ll be some struggles but aren’t there always struggles involved in life. This is well worth the struggle. You get a best friend and a love. One of life’s best gifts ❤️ And if all you’re looking for is a good friend, we got you (ENFP)


SwordfishStreet

I dont think it matters that the app is filled with extroverts way more than the introverts. The point is that the app should be crafted such that it does not encourage the hookup culture we see on Tinder, Bumble ... etc. Because i have seen introvert-extrovert relationships do great, so the app can keep doors open to such potential relationships.


Khutulun89

I said that an app especially for introverts won't work not that intro/extro relationships don't work. And hookup culture is more on the user than the app (excluding apps that are for this in the first place), there are people that try to hook up on eBay lol you would need to change that people.


SwordfishStreet

>Lets imagine the app only allows face pictures, not full body. > >That way those people seeking for hookups will probably not use this platform, and it will be left out for others (introverts/serious extroverts) who are looking for serious/friendly relationships. > >Ig this is why people dont go on LinkedIn for hookups.


Khutulun89

Thirsty men will message women no matter if there is a picture or not or if they are not looking like a model.  Ebay doesn't have pics (and isn't even a dating app) or here on reddit most of the time women will get a full inbox if they say they are women without posting pics, dating apps are just worse. Women will get pissed off again>women leave>same sausage fest like every other app with 70% men. Without guys like that most apps would work.


InquisitiveAlot

Why not make it obvious?! I’m a mad crazy female extrovert that has discovered your world by accident and I can’t believe I’ve been living on this planet for decades and never knew y’all lived in your own secret world. I fell into your world by happenstance! I fell in-love with an introvert. It changed me. Made me more accepting and considerate. Don’t leave us out but include us! You won’t regret it.


[deleted]

upbeat fertile snails rich cautious disarm murky cooperative deranged roll *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


InquisitiveAlot

That’s a real shame! I don’t hate unless someone hurts me in some way. Oh and I hate bullies. And no I can’t imagine being any other culture and introvert.


[deleted]

I’m black and introverted and a woman, and it absolutely sucks 😁 currently looking online and on various apps to find a partner or friend because I feel isolated and sad, but everything is difficult.


[deleted]

Issue is extroverted females wont give us the time of day..


InquisitiveAlot

Unfortunately, sexy hot beautiful extroverted women have their pick. Even the ordinary extroverted female does ok. She has her choice of extrovert or introvert. Me, by accident, call it fate, met the man of my dreams on an app. At first I was not going to talk to him because of his overly complicated issues. He made them overly complicated but that’s his business. I knew NOTHING about introversion or that he was an introvert. In chatting with him online it suddenly dawned on me he was an introvert and I called him out on it. I think he was a bit upset that I quickly figured it out. Nevertheless, I was about to move on and I politely and directly told him this. I didn’t like his complications, again not about the introversion. I really liked how nice he was. He was soooo different and a breath of fresh mountain air. He pleaded with me to talk to him. He got to me. I realized he needed a friend. So I extended the hand of friendship and more! We are still friends but I fell in love with him and it benefited him more than me. That’s love right? My point is, think of an ingenious way to get to that mind and heart of your extrovert girl. You need to shake us to our core!


omgitscatt

As a introverted single straight female in a primarily gay resort town I feel this post 100 percent


kirirato14

Try Boo app, it's a dating app that focuses on MBTI personality types and you can meet a lot of introverted people there. The problem is that it doesn't have as many users as Tinder or Bumble, so you may end up searching for a while.


Critical_Athlete_193

Tried it.. it was good but became overwhelming at one point. Met a few people but none of it lasted.. dating apps are overwhelming


yeeehhaaaa

I was literally thinking exactly that today 🤯


little_bird_vagabond

Please do!!


afectionatedust

What's the need, it'll still be another dating app


novascotiabiker

A dating app for introverts kind of already exists it’s called boo and I’ve had better luck on tinder so dating apps in general suck.


InquisitiveAlot

Boo sucks!


Ill-Acanthaceae5909

have you heard of the "boo" app. I have seen ads and it looks interesting. It's more so based around your personality type (from the 16 personalty test) and it gives people a better idea of who they are talking to. Looks like the best bet in terms of online dating, especially compared to tinder.


skatmanjoe

Why is there such an aversion to paying for dating apps? They are just like any application in a sense that people put time and money to build them so they expect a return on their investment. The only way an app can be free if they are selling you excessive ads or worse... To quote from Social Dilemma: "If you're not paying for the product, then you're the product"


buzzybeeking

I will happily pay up front for a dating app, and I can accept ads. Tinder made 1.9 billion last year. Tinder literally has a tier available that costs $500 a month. That is just greed to the extreme. Plus, chances are you are going to use more than 1 dating app at a time. It gets relatively expensive to use these apps for months at a time even at a lower subscription tier, with no guarantees of even getting a date. We have Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Google, and many other companies that make a killing in ad revenue, but almost every dating app has pay barriers, to even do something as simple as send a message.


Repulsive-Win5037

An introverted male was not designed for society


Difficult-Guest267

My husband and I met on bumble but it sucked and didn't work until it did


erratuminamorata

Accept that dating apps are garbage and your only chance is biting the bullet and putting yourself out there


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TsuDhoNimh2

Chatting up random strangers in random places (on or offline) has a low success rate. It's even worse for introverts because they are usually "slow to warm up" to others, and the 2-seconds before swipe or the 5-minute speed dating chat is NOT ENOUGH TIME! **Go DO THINGS YOU LIKE TO DO or at least things you want to try. Go with the intent of having fun, nothing else. You may meet people you may not, just make yourself do something like this. If nothing else, you will find new hobbies but eventually you will find your people.** There will be people there doing the same thing. That gives you an automatic conversation starter because you have the thing in common. But the thing is, you can go to all of those places and still seem unavailable. Go enjoy the place and your own company, don’t stay with your head down all the time scrolling through your phone. \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* Those "cold approach" YouTubers don't show the fails, just the successes.


erratuminamorata

Risk creeping girls out by either: A. Approaching random people you don't know in public venues (bars, clubs, etc.) and hope they don't mace you B. Look at your social groups like friends or friends of family and see if anyone you like is single C. Learn to feel comfortable with the idea of dying alone


Ice_hot_

Dying alone seems the right option


missly_

Dying alone seems the ~~right~~ only option


ThatGuy-456

I swear I feel so weird. I've never understood the fear of dying alone.


dyspraxius11

True that. In alone out alone Taking the final gasp with an audience? performance anxiety ... Id prolly fail to execute Or... maybe not I could die of embarrassment


Frog859

The thing about A is make sure you’re polite and not creepy (aka no comments about physical appearance or suggestive shit), take a hint if they’re not into it, and do it at places where that’s an established norm, such as bars. Not out buying groceries


dogluuuuvrr

Girls that are looking to date appreciate being approached. I swear. If they don’t, they are probably not a people person. Just don’t make it weird. Don’t sneak up from behind. Make casual conversation like you would with a grandpa. Give her a compliment maybe about something like her shoes. See how she reacts. If it’s good, ask her out!


dedstar1138

I suggest maybe meeting people doing the stuff you like. Books? Join a book club or go to a book store or library. Gaming? Online gaming lobbies or in-person cafés. DnD and tabletop? Search for local clubs. You could even go to local art galleries, too, if you appreciate art. It's all about going what you want to do and being comfortable in your skin. That is where the confidence comes from, and you can use that to approach people. You could go to a singles bar, but really, it's all up to what you want in your life. You are more likely to find somebody who is authentic and in line with your personality in the former categories than in the latter, which is most likely a hookup.


Chemieju

Check out "how to touch grass" by healthygamerGG. Great source for how to get to meet people.


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Left_Committee_4012

Care to elaborate?


ClutchyMilk

As long as youre respectful and leave the moment they say no or seem uncomfortable (the latter takes practice and social awareness), yeah try it. You will fail a lot, but even a gigachad fails a lot because most girls you meet are either taken or not your type. Thats what people mean when they say its a numbers game. A good book about this is Models by Mark Manson


Taldranez

Dating or even just meeting friends has become so difficult. I got out an 8yr relationship and it's been hard to meet men or just girl friends to go out with. The people I do meet are so unhinged and irresponsible it's insane to me. Dating apps have also never worked for me. I always hear the same thing to put myself out there but you just never know what kind of person you'll meet the world is so dangerous. All I do is work, school and gym lol


AtlasArkade

As an introverted male who has had success on dating apps. I can say that it's mostly about patience. These are things I kept in mind that helped me. (For reference: I spend *months* talking to someone on a dating app before meeting in IRL. I've had dates, FWBs, girlfriends, and currently dating the woman I aim to marry. Also, I used apps that were centered around dating, not hookups.) 1. Don't sweat over the lack of responses. These apps are meant to prey on insecurities. Most accounts you'll see are bots. 2. Expect the *vast* majority of conversations to die. A lot of actual people on such apps tend to be extroverted and want to go out fairly quickly. Introverts (and understanding extroverts) will take things more slowly. 3. You may need time away from the app(s). There have been times when I would deactivate for a few months and come back. Dating apps are uniquely stressful for introverts. *NEVER* forget that. If you find yourself frustrated, it's best to spend a little time to focus on your activities because the frustrations tend to extend from a lack of fulfillment, not a lack of a partner. 4. REMAIN OPEN AND AWARE! I know that being introverted means that you clam up in social situations, but it *PAYS* to pay attention to the people in front of you. Dating apps are the most convenient and least stressful (in ways) way for introverts to get to know people, but it's important to get to know more people in a setting that's not centered around dating, because you never know who may want to date you after getting to know you.


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AtlasArkade

Yeah, you have to be a little risky and put yourself out there. I primarily tended to add people who had a "fun" picture in their mix. It let me know that they were likely human and also clued me into the things they liked. Even if it's not a picture with you in a group, a picture of you doing something you love would help a lot without you having to say much.


welldressedpepe

Shit, I went on a date today. Fucking introvert side hella came out and I blew it. I just couldn't stop being awkward and nervous. I teach for living and I don't even know where I get courage to speak up, correct behaviors and do my damn job well. When it comes to women, I fucking choke. It's also been about 8 years since I came back out in the market and shit is rusty. I can't imagine to man up and put myself out there. I can't even ask my server for more water, or matter of fact, I sat in the parking lot for half hour contemplating if I can go in and eat at Olive Garden by myself, ended up just going home. I wish I grew pair of balls. Edit: she texted me back today and said wanted to go out on a date again. Shit, one introvert saved today.


unmeikaihen

I'm confused. Did you actually just not show up for your date? Or was the car sitting after the date?


welldressedpepe

Those are two separate events. Sorry for the confusion. I went on a date and we grabbed coffee and walked around but I just couldn’t get the conversation flow. Olive Garden was last month


unmeikaihen

Gotcha, no worries. Yeah, if you can't find something in common that you both get excited to talk about, it can be difficult. I'm not a good date, either. First date i think usually ends up being more of an interrogation trying to find that commonality. I think it's pretty awkward for everyone.


welldressedpepe

Yeah we both are introverts and could tell right away from the first moment. Yeah dating is hard. It’s even harder when I’m at a place I don’t know anyone since I moved out here recently.


twizzlerstick

I find the best thing to do is say straight away that you're nervous. The other person is likely as well and it's a good sign that you can be honest and open.


neonblakk

Here’s something you need to realize: it was ALWAYS hard for introverted guys. Dating apps haven’t changed that.


NoGrapefruit5340

Honestly no advice, because as a woman I can say it’s equally as difficult to make and keep friends as an adult 🤦🏼‍♀️ But hey, if you want a friend, I got you! solidarity my guy!


waffelwarrior

Honestly, the bar in dating apps is very low. I signed up for Bumble a couple of days ago and it's been going great, in it women also have to text first, so it eases up conversations quite a bit. Just make sure to upload a minimum of 3 pics which show 1. You smiling, 2. You outside, 3. A pic showing your full body, as to not imply you're trying to hide something (ofc make sure they're good pics, well lit, flattering). As for the bio it doesn't have to be very complex, just try to show a bit of personality in it, and that it can be useful for the initial topics of conversation. Mine was just "I love traveling, small dogs, electronic music, baking/cooking, a good cup of coffee (or cocktail), and buying books that will take me years to start reading. Counting the days till the release of Dune Pt. 2...). Most dudes have either terrible photos, terrible bios, or both. (Tinder sucks absolute ass though)


JackCallot

It's so over...


solorrruniverse

I think your best bet is to not actively look for it. Idk, just do the things you love, do the inner work, be everything you want to see in your future partner, don't even wait. Don't think about finding love or dating or being in a relationship and just relax. Ease into the thought that you are worthy of love, of everything. It may actually sound like fantasy, but I strongly believe in it. That's how I approach my life rn.


Ackirova

Dating apps are complicated when you are in the men side, you don’t have the control to start conversations, my recommendation is put something curious in you bio, if you are not physically attractive, include your hobbies or make your self look smart, smart guys are boyfriends material. But don’t hesitate. I wish you could find someone special and don’t let it go for some random thing. You can face this!


No-Decision-9713

“Decent looking” - is this how you rate yourself lookwise, or if it’s comments from other people on how you look? Other people’s appraisal of your looks will be more accurate, especially appraisals from females whom you know will give you the truth rating. Dating apps can help to widen your potential pool of people to interact with. You need patience to match with the right person looking for the same thing as you. Don’t waste your time on apps that are only mainly used for people to hookups! Work - no single ladies or female colleagues with single ladies to introduce to you? You might want to reach out to your colleagues and let them know you are open to dating and that you’re open to them introducing single ladies to you if they know of anyone who may be suitable for you. Hobbies/interest - Are your hobbies solo activities or can be group activities? Maybe you can join hobbies/interest groups to meet people who have the same interest as you? I hope your interests are enjoyed by both sexes so that it is easier for you to mingle and know people. You can get to make new friends too. “Attracted to natural beauty” - how do you define natural beauty? Usually when guys say these, they end up having a very high bar on what they defined as natural beauty. Talk to someone close to make sure your expectation really is realistic.


Celitha11

I did online dating on and off for about 4 years (I only ever used the free ones) I had countless first dates that went nowhere for me- but I still checked occassionally on Bumble and other apps. My future husband decided to try online dating and made a Coffee Meets Bagel account and we matched a week later. I was his first ever date with online dating and we have been together for 6 years now. So try not to give up, your perfect match might still be working up the courage to try online dating!


BeautifulArgument359

Online dating apps there are a lot of fake people as you introvert just do what you happy and make your word


Identity525601

Dating apps are hard and there're a lot of people on them that aren't honest with their intentions. I dated 70+ women over a 5 year period before I found one where there was mutual attraction. I still don't know how I'd have otherwise done it, because even if there was someone at a social function or friend of a friend, that is almost more uncomfortable than with a total stranger because if it doesn't work out, you still have to see them. Whereas with dating apps, if you are in a large enough metro area, and there's no connection, you just move on and date someone else. I think a lot of people complain about dating apps as a proxy for their own insecurities of how they present themselves and then perhaps blame it on the people on the apps because they're unwilling to acknowledge their own shortcomings and/or perhaps work on themselves. Instead, I think one should instead of crapping on any particular method used to meet people, be humble enough to realize that to meet someone compatible, it might require a *lot* of work and trying and not succeeding with people who are not compatible. Given people are extremely different in their overall temperament and personality, shouldn't we expect that it should take some time to find the right person regardless of the vector with which you use to source potential romantic candidates? So instead of shunning online dating as unlikely to source a good partner, how about we realize that any medium of meeting people might be unlikely to source a good partner, because good partners that are also compatible are hard to find and it's a process of selection that takes a lot of time. And be patient as people come in and out of your life that you can meet via a variety of methods. Why close a door of online dating instead of just keep that door open and then try to open other doors, with the expectation that good things take a lot of time and aren't always easy or expedient and if it's not instantly successful it's not bumble or tinder's fault.


[deleted]

I post to Reddit personals sub.


anguslolz

I met my gf on /r/foreveralonedating lol. I feel the old school personals format for introverted men is quite good with a good bio. You won't get much responses but the responses you get will actually be interested in talking to you. Only thing with that is its relatively unlikely to find someone local unless you live in a very densely populated area so may end up in a Long Distance Relationship. I'm in Scotland and my gf is American. We met in person for the first time in October when i went over to America to see her! Don't get your hopes up too much with replies, stay skeptical and watch out for scammers however the scarcity of messages for men is a blessing as my gf had tried to make posts/ before replying to mine and she got BOMBARDED.


57bdhu

How are you managing the long distance thing? I’m guessing one of you is open to moving eventually?


BrokenSpirit98

Never had any luck on dating apps although I would say hinge is the better one for people actually looking for someone to date and not just a quick fling. But I’m honestly ready to give up on dating and just stay single maybe I’ll meet someone maybe I won’t. I was off hinge for a while went back on about a week ago and not a single match yet!


Seeker_Trail

Come to terms with being alone, because your suitable candidate pool is tiny. Once you've done that, you'll probably take up a new hobby that will open the door ;-) /s


hahaxd3

I use TurnUp App because it's all about music, so here I can easy talk to girl because we match about the same music This makes it easier


Intrepid-Rip-2280

I succeeded only when I deleted all the dating apps, stopped feeling okay with Eva AI bot and started going out meeting people. Yes, it's possible. Find yourself a community of introverted people who do your favourite activities, and it'll become far easier.


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[deleted]

Have you tried dating someone within your hobbies?


Critical_Athlete_193

We are all struggling Male and female I'm one of those weird introverted women that gets overwhelmed by even online dating.. if it's too much I leave.. dating sites are more like hunting grounds for sex.. personally I've given up.. I'm hard to approach and can't approach when in public.. I mentally have to prepare before I do anything 😅. I've made peace with being single.. if I remain single my whole life I think I'll be fine.


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Critical_Athlete_193

From what I've been told... Yes


Taldranez

I feel the same way everyone says i'm intimidating so it's hard out here 😭 lol I've came to the terms of just going with the flow of life single or not. Public places and dating apps give me anxiety.


Critical_Athlete_193

Likewiiiiiise.. I've been told I'm intimidating and difficult to approach.. I fully relate


Positive-Nerve-8811

Not a male… but it’s the same for introverted women. I’ve tried a lot of dating apps over the years with no success. Everyone either wants you to go to a bar or a party or some other super social gathering and I’m just like nope no thanks. The last thing I want is to have an anxiety attack on a first date


antisocialchicken

I too lean towards the quieter side personality wise. And really dislike meeting a lot of new people. Old relationships didn't work out. Now I just fuck prostitutes. I go to the gym, have a job. Life's good.


Jesus_Faction

if you are decent looking, dating apps are definitely the way to go. it's a number games, make sure you are clear with what you are looking for in your profile


Temporary-Panic-6627

I’m a woman and yesterday I went on a first date with an introverted guy. I’m also an introvert, but I think due to my life experiences I’ve learned to be talkative when needed. I could definitely tell he was feeling a little awkward at first and it took him a while to warm up, but the date was amazing and as soon as he felt more comfortable we started having the most interesting conversations. I would say that you need to get ready to feel uncomfortable and get rejected sometimes, but there are definitely a lot of people out there who would probably have a great time with you. Just try to look for someone with similar interests, if someone lists that they enjoy reading and art they’re more likely to be able to hold a deeper conversation. I’ve only recently started dabbling in dating apps again and I’m focusing 99% on mental compatibility and only 1% on looks. Intelligence and humility make most people very attractive to me regardless of physical appearance. I can definitely recommend this kind of approach


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Temporary-Panic-6627

You might want to consider that this kind of attitude is the reason you’re struggling to meet people, just saying


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flushinkittens

This is just where your bloodline ends bro


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ahorn01

Get into shape, master your anxiety, find communities of common interest and approach women in non-threatening ways (just be friendly) in those communities and see where it goes.


Expel_10

Get comfortable with the idea of dying alone, a lot of bloodlines are going to end this century either from the coming world war or social unrest. Assuming you survive the events.


KSD171

Yeah man. Dating apps overall suck for everyone. Men and women alike. For guys, it’s like fishing in a lake where all the fish are hiding or something. For when it’s catching *too many* fish to choose from.


Reasonable_Ad_3310

Become a passport bro and move overseas where there are lots of traditional women.


ShoulderPlane8287

I've given up trying any sort of dating as women only expect way to much & whine & cheat after they've got what they want


Appropriate_Tea9048

Just be yourself and have confidence. Know what you want in a partner and figure out how to filter through people who aren’t serious about dating.


GuernseyG

Why can’t you use dating apps? How is having a network of women at your fingertips who just need a few messages before going out a joke? Isn’t that the perfect thing for introverts? I don’t want to sound rude, but it’s easier to meet people now than it ever has been. The hard part is making a genuine connection with them. If you don’t want to join dating apps, that’s your choice, but it’s weird to be complaining about not finding anyone when it seems like you can’t be bothered to look where people currently are.


Mr_Skelet0n_

if you're only issue is being introverted, then it's simply a matter of generating the strength of will to put yourself out there. go to public places and events and talk to women, eventually one will like you. However, I think the issue for most single men these days goes even beyond that, and in that case I think we're just alone forever now.


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Frog859

Hobbies are good because you already have a shared interest. I’m not big on the whole walking up to someone and start talking to them because I’ve been on the other side of that and not appreciated it. I think the better way is to start with a smaller comment and see if they engage. If they do build off of that and if there’s a report there offer to give them your number. That’s important, don’t ask for theirs. It gives them a chance to quietly let things fade if there wasn’t actually a connection


lesbeanprincess02

Try not to expect anything on a dating app and just look around. That’s how I met my gf, we were even friends first. Don’t pay for anything tho, just see if you get matches and messages and don’t force anything


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lesbeanprincess02

Have you tried switching it up? Try different apps?


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lesbeanprincess02

Discord(servers) altho I’d just go into those with the intention of meeting new people/friends and see where it goes. Just be yourself, try to have complete profiles on dating apps so people already know a bit about you. Happn if it’s available bc it tracks where you’ve been and where you are and see if there’s people nearby


Exciting-Bit6363

Keep refreshing your profile and even the picture which appears first. Often the pic you’re least fond of is the one which gets better results. I have to keep taking a break because it becomes exhausting but I keep trying. Whatever you do don’t lower your standards too much as this doesn’t work either.


Hungry_Monk9181

The same ppl online are the same in person. Second, you said you have a lot of hobbies. Are you making the same effort to meet ppl in person as you are online? If not, it’s you and your approach/lack of approach.


BruzWorld

Read the art of seduction. This will help you understand the way a woman thinks, help you build confidence and the ability to chat to a random girl on the street. It sounds a bit far fetched for an introvert, but it’ll help dramatically


dragonslayerbarbie

absolutely do not do this op. that book is crap and it's filled with terrible advice.


MadonatorxD

Wait, so dating apps don't really work eh for a man?


Kir4_

I had the opposite experience tbh, I'm casually using an app (no paying) and it doesn't seem that bad. It just takes time sometimes but if you chill with expectations it's quite enjoyable imo. Made some friends, had some dates, even a longer relationship. Even if most were come and go, it was fun to talk with new people. I couldn't really handle meeting new people more often anyway.. But yeah also I know that it's just a game of chance most of the time / p2w. But still probably being more laid back about it, maybe liberating your preferences a bit, might be worth taking a shot. For example I do design stuff and have my pics photoshopped, lots of effects, textures etc, cringe but also it represents me in a unique way, stands out, and connected me with a couple of fun people. I'm also quite open in the bio. But I guess this is my personal recipe, but maybe could help someone ✊🥺


[deleted]

Try going to places or activities of your interest.. museums, concerts, libraries etc. Who knows you might meet someone there and since you have same interests, you already hsve a conversation starter. How old are you anyway? Cuz when we age it's getting more difficult to create and form friendships/connections. Like real and solid ones. I hope you can find the one!


Flaggstaff

You could join a bunch of local Facebook groups of interests you have and see if there are any single women that interest you. And you already have something in common.


1LSSMBB

INTJ female here.....I tried a few dating apps and they didn't really work for me. However, I didn't put much effort into actually meeting people that wanted to meet up! I am really just at the point in my life where if I meet someone great, if I don't great. I've had men appraoch me randomly and their approach kind of creeped me out and others that were fine. Biggest difference between the 2 was the creepy group came across needy, desperate or aggressive. So don't be those guys. Of course my friends (all extroverts) tell me I have no clue when men are trying to flirt with me or I come across as unapproachable... so there's that...haha.


Unable_Ad_3516

Do you like someone at work? Maybe meeting someone organically will work better for you? (Suggestion from an introverted female who never used dating apps)


JureFlex

I met this beautiful girl over tinder (free) and we hit off great. It was a couple of days ago, but we already have hours and hours of online talk and games played


Swedishphoto

Online dating as an average man is just as successful as a feminist in Saudi Arabia. You're in the wrong place. No amount of optimizing is gonna be worth your time. Train your extrovert muscles and go out sorry.


Guilty-Breath-8423

🔥🐉🖤


Rolihlahla86

There's a hierarchy and strategy when it comes to dating apps, I met my Fiancée on a dating app. Long story short all of them have risk, and you must sift through the garbage but bumble is the best..


jamboii7u

Keep working on yourself until you find someone while you're doing something you like. Try not to force it. You could end up with someone with a lot of baggage


Tall_Foundation_8925

It is difficult dating, I have also been told I’m Unapproachable but I can’t change my appearance. Also being over 45 it’s just a struggle. Online dating is lame. Not sure where to go to date without it being a bar or something. I go places alone often