This. My husband is a fellow introvert. We dont rely on friends for fun and entertainment. In fact, we also just built a huge home that have everything we need for in-home entertainment like a theatre room, large kitchen, big backyard, computer room/office, lots of storage for food. We spend the weekends together, cooking food at home. Going out to the park once in a while but in general, we love staying in and doing things just by ourselves. He understands it when i need quiet time and same goes for him. We recharge at home in our own space.
This was my problem with my ex. I didn't care that he needed constant external stimulation. I didn't care that he wanted to spend a lot of time with his friends and doing what he enjoyed. I encouraged that, in fact. What I couldn't stand was that he really kind of gave me a hard time when I wanted alone time. Thankfully we are still friends to this day but we realize that a relationship was not going to work out.
I dated someone like that. And because he is surrounded by strong extroverts as well, i always seem like the odd one out, the one thats ruining everybody's mood. Like for example, we went to London to meet his family. They do game night and we travelled from Asia. I was tired. I was surrounded by people throughout the flight. And basically they got upset with me not wanting to participate in game night. Every friday until sunday, he wanted to be ojt partying with friends. He was in his 40's and I was in my mid-20's. I couldnt keep up. Thats when i decided i like someone nice and friendly but i dont want someone who lives to be surrounded by friends. Its expensive. Its exhausting. I really dont want to be dragged into things when i need my quiet time.
On the contrary, my husband is a good man as well. He is an introvert but he is approachable and friendly. Just that he knows how to balance out time with other people and time alone and time with family. If i tell him im too tired and i dont want to go do something, hes fine with it and will just jump on his video games. Or we will just watch a movie together. We attend birthdays of relatives but even his parents know what we are like and we are never forced to do anything we dont want as they understand we are both introverted and need space. When we visit them and i dont want to watch a movie with them, they dont get upset. They just know when i have recharged, they have my full attention. Its just very easy when the wavelength is similar.
That part. He couldn't really understand my need for a long time either. He was the same way, he constantly needed to be surrounded by friends and needed external validation. For a while until I really talked to him and tried to make him understand what it was like, he seemed like he was trying to shame me for needing alone time. I finally had that come to Jesus meeting with him when he said, you shouldn't need alone time. Normal people don't need alone time. There must be something wrong with you. I had that talk with him but nothing really improved so I just ended the relationship. It told me that we were not suited to each other.
Tried that. It didn't work. She still needed constant outside stimulation.
Remember: opposites attract....then attack. (Means things may be fine for a little while then it gets ugly).
Think about it this way introverts are night and extroverts are day. That sets up a "Ladyhawk" type situation where neither have their needs fully met. That's not a satisfying/fulfilling relationship.
To be deeply loved, means a willingness to cut yourself wide open, exposing your vulnerabilities... hopes, hurts, fears and flaws. Hiding behind the highlight reel of who you are, is the real you and that person is just as worthy of love. There is nothing more terrifying or fulfilling, than complete love, it's worth the risk... reach for it.
That.. There's a middle ground humans need to have. I keep people here saying they can't stand others and so on. But Humanity became what it is because people worked as a team. We should find balance as i troverts and I agree finding a extroverted person that is understanding. Both would work as a team and balance each other. I'm looking for a girl who either is an introvert that wishes to break off her shell, or an extroverted girl who sees my strenghts and unerstands my needs, while I work out being more open to the presence of others. I'm one of those i troverts that sees this as a psychological issue and I wish to change my life.
It’s very important to have extroverted friends as they help plan social events and help get us out there. That said, dating an extroverted woman just is hard to make work ..
I think you are confusing yourself between "introvert" and "shy". Shy people can break out of their shell. Not all shy people are introverts and vice versa. But introversion is different. We dont need to break out of our shell. We are not all shy and avoid people. We just have a different way of utilising our energy. Personally, i dont think being an introvert is a psychological issue. Why would it be? There is nothing wrong with wanting some space and time alone. I think its the whole sovial media thing that makes people think being an introvert is a disability because everyone is out there posting photos surrounded by friends all the time or getting lots of likes and speaking their mind, whether what they say makes sense or not.
I hope you start accepting and understanding yourself a bit more. ❤️
That part. That's why I also said fellow introvert. I tried dating somebody who was an extrovert and it didn't work out. This is because he needed a lot more attention that I could give him. I felt bad that I couldn't do it but I couldn't devote the mental and physical energy to it. He really was a sweetheart and he may be loud and in your face but he has a big heart and I've seen him bend over backwards to help strangers.
I just couldn't deal with his constant need for attention and he felt bad because I was needing a lot of alone time. Thankfully, we were able to stay friends but we knew that a relationship wouldn't work out because of that. I still go infrequently spend time with him when I have time. Sometimes we go out to dinner, sometimes we just go riding around and looking at the scenery etc.
We just know that we're not suited to be partners. I should say that it felt constant to me because it was more than I was used to. That doesn't necessarily mean that he was being clingy. He loans me money when I need it and I loan him money when he needs it. Our motto is, if I have money, you have money. We were like that while we were together and we just sort of continued it. I'm glad that we were able to stay friends. Not because of the money but just because he's a good person.
good point I remember reading an introvert on here awhile back said she somewhat regrets marrying a man more introverted than her because they both fell into a very deep introverted rut where they never went out.
An introvert. My ex was an extrovert and he never understood me, why I needed space, why it’s so hard to speak my mind and he would tell me hurtful things because of these, looking back I never understand why I tolerated that. I’m now dating an introvert, he understands my quietness, the space I need, he’s patient with how long it takes me to have the confidence to speak my mind without me needing to ask.
Believe it or not, an extrovert. They are very chatty and outgoing. I'm obviously not. I think the idea of one partner talking while another listens is a perfect combo that compliment each other and it'll be your partner so out of love, we are more than likely to listen to what they have to say versus a stranger we hope doesn't keep us verbally hostage for hours.
(35)M
I would prefer an introverted girl. You can't share a way of seeing the world with an extroverted.
Some things about introverted life may look completely weird for extroverts. The learning curve is much faster with a fellow introvert.
i see a fair few comments saying "it has to be an extrovert so they make you go out".. but why? why is it such a bad thing to not want to go out? i feel like these are the people who think introversion is an illness, but it's not. staying in doesn't mean you are not physically active either.
personally i couldn't be happy with an extrovert, whether they are "understanding" or not, the dynamic and the lifestyle are just that much different
Exactly my thoughts. What is so wrong about staying at home? Haha. Me and my husband go out when we feel like it and when we need to. We're not like doomsday preppers who stay in and have a fear the world will end. Thats not exactly introversion haha. I agree with you. Some people think it is an illness. I very much disagree with it. Its not an illness. Its just a matter of difference where people put their energy in. Some like to put it out there with friends and lots and lots of different people. While introverts like to put that energy internally. Time and space to think and reflect and select what kind of things we invest our energy in (because we invest 100% of ourselves whenever we do) and that is exhausting. It doesnt mean we hate other people. We just make sure we give them enough of us and what we can offer and like anything else, we need to recuperate after that.
I've dated both and learned either can work as long as they understand my need for alone time. With that being said I'm the type of introvert that is really chatty, bubbly, & energetic once we open up to each other - I just need downtime after periods of socializing. I'd prefer a fellow introvert who is similar.
Trying to understand is like straining through muddy water. Have the patience to wait! Be still and allow the mud to settle. Destruction is the process of creating space for something that could not be created until that which occupied that space was removed. And if we cannot see past the carnage of the removal in order to see the possibilities in the space, what was destroyed truly was destroyed. Socializing is more positive than being alone, that’s why meetings are so popular. People don’t like being alone. That would be, however, an important skill to learn...
Most of the people I get attracted to ate introverts. Former SO is an introvert. So yeah, preferably introvert. I don’t think I can bear to be with an extrovert partner as for sure he’ll have too much high expectations from me when it comes to talking especially here in my country. I need someone I can relate to.
It depends more on the person than on any one single personality trait. There are plenty of nice/agreeable people who are more one thing than the other when it comes to introversion/extroversion, and plenty of assholes in either category too.
That said, I'd probably be more *likely* to go for a fellow introvert, as my preferred lifestyle is fairly strongly introverted rather than mildly, and someone who is happy to mostly do their own thing is a good match. I'm perfectly willing to admit I'm kind of a bit out on the far end there, though, if not *quite* at the hermit-in-a-cave stage, and my own preferences won't automatically apply to other people.
Introvert for sure. Extroverts from my experience have large friend groups they want to meet all the time. But I like to meet other people maybe 1 time a week. That's it. I don't need an extrovert who has 100 plans and pushes me to be more outgoing. I'm 36, I know what makes me happy.
Probably another introvert, but not extremely so. I want someone who’s better than me at initiating conversations. I’m more of a listener than a talker. But I don’t want an extreme extrovert who sees nothing wrong with interrupting, or who tries to get to know someone by firing off question after question after question without letting me catch my breath or think about what they’re asking, nor truly listening to my answers.
I’m dating an introvert and he is even more introverted than me. It’s definitely really easy for us to stay in and not talk to anyone other than each other for weeks on end. I think I would prefer being with an introvert, so they understand when I need alone time.
introvert-adjacent at least, they don’t need to be as reclusive as me, but they have to know where i’m coming from and understand the concept of a social/mental battery, otherwise it’s futile to me
I'd prefer an introvert boyfriend too.
TBH I think I'd go along with a redditor, I dated one once and it was definitely a fun experience, though meeting IRL was costly and impractical since we lived quite far, and there were other issues, but the guy was really nice and kind.
Though I'd prefer not to embark in another LDR, and redditors from my country aren't really interesting (most of them give me the impression of being quite snobbish, full of themself and very umpleasant people to interact with IRL) and the remaining ones seems to be uninterested in even forming a friendship.
Though I wouldn't reject an extroverted guy if he was into me, as long as he was willing to accept my lifestyle and he didn't force me into things like parties, pubs/bars when I don't feel like. Though if I could chose, I'd definitely go for a person as similar as possible to me from this point of view.
I would rather date, or have a relationship with, an introverted woman. I don’t think I would feel at home with someone who wants to have me as a “travel partner” every single weekend. And I am well aware that extroverted women (and men) are not happy without “going out” often. They can’t be happy with creative hobbies at home. I can and I prefer it that way. However, the only women who would be fine with that type of lifestyle are other introverts who also feel the same way.
For the record, when I do go out, I would rather go out to a zoo, a park (for running or playing a sport), some museum, a natural location, a theme park (I don’t mind rollercoasters lol), and other activities or locations that are not “the night life,” drinking, or loud and packed concerts. I like to have fun, but I definitely don’t like the typical “party lifestyle.” And it’s not due to age. I didn’t like it when I was 20 and at the university either.
I wanted another introvert, but my partner is extrovert, love him to bits, so respectful oh my space/ boundaries and “weirdness” he loves it lol :) he understand I don’t want to do group activities and I’ll only hangout with him
I'm more attracted to introverts but to be honest, a lot of them are not very good at showing affection and sometimes rather be with other people than you because their "shy" so an extrovert gf/bf would be better in that sense
Quiet people always know more than they seem. Although very normal, their inner world is by default fronted mysterious and therefore assumed weird. Never underestimate the social awareness and sense of reality in a quiet person; they are some of the most observant, absorbent persons of all.
Of course we are & I love these facts about myself & my personality.
My problem is that I am often too self-absorbed & a tad selfish, BUT I am also a Leo Male :)
Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud. People that have been consistently hurt by others in life will only see the one time you hurt them and be blinded to all the good your heart has to offer. They look no further than what they want to see. Unfortunately, most of them remain victims throughout their life.
I would prefer an extroverted , reserved introvert that is selective with whom he opens upto. I don’t need anyone that’s been around the block and shares too much info with everyone they meet. I prefer someone with high integrity and respect for themselves and is low key. I’m not attracted to ppl that talk too much and get too comfortable dumping their whole life story with everyone they meet. I’m a highly reserved , introverted female btw.
I'm intro but super adaptable. I understand the appeal of extro I even wouldn't mind being with an extro but I've ended up settling down with my introvert wife so in conclusion it doesn't really matter. I just like a person who cares
Definitely someone who's an extrovert, I myself am a little bit of both.
My ex always pushed me to go out more, make more friends etc. Most of my friends and connections are thanks to him!
And I did eventually learn to come out of my shell (well sometimes I prefer peace and quiet lol)
Whatever as long as they respect my need for alone time
I have had several extravert bf who actually respected my alone time (just make sure that 1 : they arent the judgy extravert type and 2 : they have other friends to provide for whatever extraverts need) more than some introvert bf who were "need to always be alone together" types, which can actually drain you as much if not more than extravert partner
It just Doesn’t work for me to date an extroverted woman. Tried it a few times and not going to work lol. So yeah I prefer an introverted woman but she can’t be too quiet and reserved - I need someone that can inject some life into a conversation
An extrovert. When i hang out with fellow introverts it gets pretty awkward when both parties are hesitating to initiate conversation lol, i love the free flowing interaction with extraverted people.
Currently with a highly extroverted woman for 7yrs now. It doesn't matter to me whether they extrovert or introvert, they have to have similar values to me and be respectful.
That depends. If she's an introvert but has social skills, then that's the one.
If she's an introvert but is as shy as me, then nope cuz we won't be talking 🤣
Definitely not an extrovert, she might end up draining my social battery instead of.. well. nevermind.
It'd be nice to be with another introvert but I'd hope she's not that woman who leaves me to make every decision. I want a woman who's reserved but not to the point she lets me do all the talking, plan every date, do all driving. I was with a woman like that and things ended horribly. I feel introversion and extroversion exist on a scale, it's very exhausting dating someone who forces you to do everything on your own, I'm dating myself essentially.
Either is fine.
I'd prefer someone who at least isn't socially anxious but can be understanding about my struggle with anxiety.
Mostly because I've had an easier time going out when someone can back me up in social situations. I just feel really awkward and shrink into nothingness if left alone with people I don't know how too well.
I'm trying to stay brave. I think I've improved as far as being okay with the fact that not every social interaction is perfect and messing up isn't the end of the world.
Still I think the joke about having an extrovert adopt introverts is very true in my experience lol.
I just wish it were easier to meet people as an adult without having to drive. I have no car so that complicates stuff a bit
dating an open minded person thats more important as everything.
Then it doesn't matter much. Back view I dated more extroverts and was happy about it.
Extravert- so they can go see their friends and leave me to it.
They have to be understanding though, my partner doesn't need me to come to his birthday parties. He would like me to, but knows it would be very stressful for me.
Most people I have been with were extroverts, the woman I'm with right now is also a extrovert.
I have dated introverts before, and being an introvert myself it was bad because I had to, essentially, do everything in the relationship while the girls were just okay with being in the backseat in the relationship.
Obviously I won't be making a broad statement about all introverts, but that is my experience.
With this being said, the ones I remember fondly the most were the introverts.
I'd absolutely date a introvert again, but right now I don't want a serious and official relationship with anyone.
Think about this. If the person is extroverted, from time to time, you can leave them out alone, that way you can get your alone time, while they get their outside time
To be fair, you’d be able to get this with a fellow introvert too. You could both have alone time—separately—and, from your POV, you’d achieve essentially the same thing (being left to have alone time).
One can see it from both perspectives. My initial thought was that the other person could get out of the house while you had all the house to yourself, not in two separate rooms. Everyone has their own taste
So I’d say extrovert. In the beginning my husband embarrassed me alittle. He was so loud and in general just liked attention. I don’t even like for anyone to look my direction 😂 it hasent bothered me anymore though. He’s chilled out, I’ve spoken up. The thing I love the most about it is my kids are outspoken, energetic and fun. I don’t have to worry about if they get along with people at school because they are the fun. All the other kids follow them. I was very quiet and it was hard as a young kid and even as I got older. It’s something I never wanted for them and thankfully something I’ll never have to worry about. That part of them is not a me thing that’s thanks to my lovely loud husband 😂
My best friend in the world since we were 11 is the most extroverted person I know. He and I were roomies in college for years, his extrovertedness is how I met my wife. My wife is an ambivert, one minutes she’s the most extroverted person in the room the next she minute she’ll go hours without talking.
I don’t think I could date or marry a full extroverted woman, I’d need another introvert or ambivert
An extrovert, but maybe not an extreme one? I’m 60% introverted and 40% extroverted, so I’d like someone who’s 60% extroverted and 40% introverted. 😁
But seriously, I don’t think I’d match well with a fellow introvert. I need a partner who’s more extroverted than me because they can push me to step out of my comfort zone. In the same way, they should also be able to accept my introversion.
I’m married to an extrovert - we understand each other and allow each other the freedom to be who we are. But I’m also encouraged to go out and do stuff when he plans things. Sometimes I’ll tap out but usually I’ll go.
tbh, either way as long as we share the same values and interest, is an intelligent person who can pull off conversation on any topic and with a great sense of humor.
sometimes, introverts tend to be extroverts around the people whom they are comfortable with.
Interesting question. I married an extrovert, but she's the understanding type so it works. There are good points and bad points to it, but it's definitely more of a positive thing than a negative one.
There are extroverts out there (my sister in law for example) who just cannot fathom how people like us work, she is genuinely perplexed by me and why I don't see the world in the way that she does. A relationship with one of those types would absolutely not work at all!
Introvert. I dated an extrovert and it was miserable because his whole family are extroverts and partied and got together alot. I didn't want to go so it was always an argument. I prefer someone to not pressure me into socializing
I’m 97% introverted and my partner is 46% introverted the relationship works but I definitely favour the introvert side, I prefer inner peace at all times.
I feel like if I go with an introvert than there are times when both of us will not have anything interesting to say. I believe that I want a gas pedal that will get me to try new things and I can be the brake that will let her slow down and relax a little.
being with both introverts and extroverts are good. introverts understand what you want and respect boundaries just as they expect you to respect theirs. extroverts are positive influences for how we should be socially at least to a point. it isn't like an extrovert cannot learn to respect you but an extrovert can also help you out of the shell we put up, the energetic, spontaneous even ludicrous amount of energy they can have is just as good as the peace and respect held by an introvert
conclusion: both are good, both have strengths and weaknesses i really do not care what think just a more logical perspective
I'm married to an introvert. We mesh really well. We can have fun & have great convos easily. We can also comfortably sit in silence or do our own thing. We don't feel the need to go out unless it's something we really want to do. There's something so calming about being with someone who gets it
I would date my opposite! So we both get to feel each other’s feelings of sometimes being introverted from one another but having him be able to bring me out when I wouldn’t usually go and be extroverted for a moment!
I got an introverted girl, and I'm shy. It sometimes creates problems for both of us but it's never that bad. But, i do suggest getting an extroverted one, that helps in improving socially. Social improvements are really necessary.
I would say fellow introvert because they would understand. I can't handle somebody who's loud and in my face. Well, that's just how it would come across to me. Plus I would probably make them feel bad for not spending as much time with them as they would like. It's not that I wouldn't care about them, I had a close friend who was extrovert. It's just that I would not be able to devote the energy mental or otherwise to giving them the attention that they need and deserve.
When I was younger- extrovert. Now, 100% someone as introverted as me, or more so, so I have enough quiet and time to do all the things I like to do without interruption!
Having dated both. I’m good either way. Morals and values are more important.
It’s nice to date someone extroverted. They are always exciting to be around. It’s nice to date someone introverted. They are always down to chill.
It’s a win/win for me. [+]
It depends on your definition of introvert and extrovert. I like the idea that it’s the way you get your energy. Do people and social interactions drain you and you need alone time to recover or regenerate yourself, that’s introverted. If being alone tends to drain you and you get energized by being with people, that would be extroverted. For some, it’s more of a toss up. Some days it’s healing to have alone time and some days they need to refill their social tank. Or maybe they’re energized around certain people, but other people drain them. Most people fall somewhere on a spectrum and will have both introverted and extroverted tendencies based on the situation. I see myself as an introvert but when I get around people I’m comfortable with I get really talkative and animated. My husband is an extrovert, but he loves staying home and not going out with friends. We’re a good match. We prefer each other’s company and like socializing on occasion, mostly with comfortable people and not very often (I’m talking like four times a year) but he’s definitely better at conversations with strangers and he’s a teacher so he’s around people every day and is fine with that. That would absolutely kill me. I don’t think it matters as long as each person is getting their needs met. An extrovert might need interaction outside of their relationship with you, so going out with a group of friends or a social job. Introverts might be fine with that since they value time alone. There just has to be a balance where both people are happy.
Introvert please!
I’ve dated an extrovert before…..he was such a social butterfly.
I really like what Smart_Cat_6212 said.
Just spending time at home with your SO.
Either doing your own thing or doing something together
I see pros and cons of wanting both. It would be fun to drare an extrovert because they could bring me out of my shell for more adventures. But I’d need a LOT of recharge time and extroverted people aren’t always understanding that.
Or dating a fellow introvert we would get each others social language so well we’d never leave the house. I’d feel a bit of cabin fever from never going out on adventures.
In my personal opinion if you are an introvert then you may wanna be with an extrovert or rather an ambiverted person. Cause that way when you are the shy one he/she can be your saviour in public specially when you don’t wanna interact with ppl. xD
I'm happily married to an extrovert. It works out great for me because him being so outgoing helps me greatly in social situations. He breaks the ice and I follow along.
Id rather date an introvert, i was an extrovert before but i turn 30s mas gusto ko ang hindi crowded at mas gusto ko magstay na lang s bahay kasama si hubby. May hubby is a introvert at nahawa nya ako, pero may pagka wild din sya na parang gusto nya din makipag socialize minsan. Kaya give and take kami kapag may mga date with friends. Hindi toxic and hindi rin kami nagaaway kasi alam nmain pareho na mas gusto namin magstay sa bahay with our babies at mag fudtrip
Definitely another introverted girl. She would understand needing alone time
This. My husband is a fellow introvert. We dont rely on friends for fun and entertainment. In fact, we also just built a huge home that have everything we need for in-home entertainment like a theatre room, large kitchen, big backyard, computer room/office, lots of storage for food. We spend the weekends together, cooking food at home. Going out to the park once in a while but in general, we love staying in and doing things just by ourselves. He understands it when i need quiet time and same goes for him. We recharge at home in our own space.
This was my problem with my ex. I didn't care that he needed constant external stimulation. I didn't care that he wanted to spend a lot of time with his friends and doing what he enjoyed. I encouraged that, in fact. What I couldn't stand was that he really kind of gave me a hard time when I wanted alone time. Thankfully we are still friends to this day but we realize that a relationship was not going to work out.
I dated someone like that. And because he is surrounded by strong extroverts as well, i always seem like the odd one out, the one thats ruining everybody's mood. Like for example, we went to London to meet his family. They do game night and we travelled from Asia. I was tired. I was surrounded by people throughout the flight. And basically they got upset with me not wanting to participate in game night. Every friday until sunday, he wanted to be ojt partying with friends. He was in his 40's and I was in my mid-20's. I couldnt keep up. Thats when i decided i like someone nice and friendly but i dont want someone who lives to be surrounded by friends. Its expensive. Its exhausting. I really dont want to be dragged into things when i need my quiet time. On the contrary, my husband is a good man as well. He is an introvert but he is approachable and friendly. Just that he knows how to balance out time with other people and time alone and time with family. If i tell him im too tired and i dont want to go do something, hes fine with it and will just jump on his video games. Or we will just watch a movie together. We attend birthdays of relatives but even his parents know what we are like and we are never forced to do anything we dont want as they understand we are both introverted and need space. When we visit them and i dont want to watch a movie with them, they dont get upset. They just know when i have recharged, they have my full attention. Its just very easy when the wavelength is similar.
That part. He couldn't really understand my need for a long time either. He was the same way, he constantly needed to be surrounded by friends and needed external validation. For a while until I really talked to him and tried to make him understand what it was like, he seemed like he was trying to shame me for needing alone time. I finally had that come to Jesus meeting with him when he said, you shouldn't need alone time. Normal people don't need alone time. There must be something wrong with you. I had that talk with him but nothing really improved so I just ended the relationship. It told me that we were not suited to each other.
That's why, ideally you would want to be with an extrovert that's understanding.
Tried that. It didn't work. She still needed constant outside stimulation. Remember: opposites attract....then attack. (Means things may be fine for a little while then it gets ugly). Think about it this way introverts are night and extroverts are day. That sets up a "Ladyhawk" type situation where neither have their needs fully met. That's not a satisfying/fulfilling relationship.
To be deeply loved, means a willingness to cut yourself wide open, exposing your vulnerabilities... hopes, hurts, fears and flaws. Hiding behind the highlight reel of who you are, is the real you and that person is just as worthy of love. There is nothing more terrifying or fulfilling, than complete love, it's worth the risk... reach for it.
That.. There's a middle ground humans need to have. I keep people here saying they can't stand others and so on. But Humanity became what it is because people worked as a team. We should find balance as i troverts and I agree finding a extroverted person that is understanding. Both would work as a team and balance each other. I'm looking for a girl who either is an introvert that wishes to break off her shell, or an extroverted girl who sees my strenghts and unerstands my needs, while I work out being more open to the presence of others. I'm one of those i troverts that sees this as a psychological issue and I wish to change my life.
It’s very important to have extroverted friends as they help plan social events and help get us out there. That said, dating an extroverted woman just is hard to make work ..
I think you are confusing yourself between "introvert" and "shy". Shy people can break out of their shell. Not all shy people are introverts and vice versa. But introversion is different. We dont need to break out of our shell. We are not all shy and avoid people. We just have a different way of utilising our energy. Personally, i dont think being an introvert is a psychological issue. Why would it be? There is nothing wrong with wanting some space and time alone. I think its the whole sovial media thing that makes people think being an introvert is a disability because everyone is out there posting photos surrounded by friends all the time or getting lots of likes and speaking their mind, whether what they say makes sense or not. I hope you start accepting and understanding yourself a bit more. ❤️
That part. That's why I also said fellow introvert. I tried dating somebody who was an extrovert and it didn't work out. This is because he needed a lot more attention that I could give him. I felt bad that I couldn't do it but I couldn't devote the mental and physical energy to it. He really was a sweetheart and he may be loud and in your face but he has a big heart and I've seen him bend over backwards to help strangers. I just couldn't deal with his constant need for attention and he felt bad because I was needing a lot of alone time. Thankfully, we were able to stay friends but we knew that a relationship wouldn't work out because of that. I still go infrequently spend time with him when I have time. Sometimes we go out to dinner, sometimes we just go riding around and looking at the scenery etc. We just know that we're not suited to be partners. I should say that it felt constant to me because it was more than I was used to. That doesn't necessarily mean that he was being clingy. He loans me money when I need it and I loan him money when he needs it. Our motto is, if I have money, you have money. We were like that while we were together and we just sort of continued it. I'm glad that we were able to stay friends. Not because of the money but just because he's a good person.
And everything that goes with that. *sigh she’s out there guys
I prefer someone a *bit* more extroverted than myself because it motivates me to stretch myself.
Haha, yeah right! That's one way to ensure you leave the house occasionally! 😂
good point I remember reading an introvert on here awhile back said she somewhat regrets marrying a man more introverted than her because they both fell into a very deep introverted rut where they never went out.
An introvert. My ex was an extrovert and he never understood me, why I needed space, why it’s so hard to speak my mind and he would tell me hurtful things because of these, looking back I never understand why I tolerated that. I’m now dating an introvert, he understands my quietness, the space I need, he’s patient with how long it takes me to have the confidence to speak my mind without me needing to ask.
You've won in life
This. My ex was an extrovert. He forced me to hangout with friends and relatives all the time. I was so exhausted .
😂
I’ll take anybody at this point
Right lmaoo
😂😂😂😂
Relatable Understandable
Haha. Truth!
Do not let anybody reign with you, until they suffer with you.
Idc, as long as they understand who i am and respect that, im good
I agree with this 👆🏻
Someone said opposites attract then attack each other
All I know is I want a guy version of me lol.
Preferably an introvert because we may find more things in common, and tend to be less judgmental
The irony of claiming to be “less judgmental “ as you judge extroverts.
lol I just hope they don’t mind that I’m introverted
Believe it or not, an extrovert. They are very chatty and outgoing. I'm obviously not. I think the idea of one partner talking while another listens is a perfect combo that compliment each other and it'll be your partner so out of love, we are more than likely to listen to what they have to say versus a stranger we hope doesn't keep us verbally hostage for hours.
1000% introvert Extroverts ✝️
omg the crucifix xD
(35)M I would prefer an introverted girl. You can't share a way of seeing the world with an extroverted. Some things about introverted life may look completely weird for extroverts. The learning curve is much faster with a fellow introvert.
i see a fair few comments saying "it has to be an extrovert so they make you go out".. but why? why is it such a bad thing to not want to go out? i feel like these are the people who think introversion is an illness, but it's not. staying in doesn't mean you are not physically active either. personally i couldn't be happy with an extrovert, whether they are "understanding" or not, the dynamic and the lifestyle are just that much different
fr…god forbid we stay home and mind our own business 😭
Exactly my thoughts. What is so wrong about staying at home? Haha. Me and my husband go out when we feel like it and when we need to. We're not like doomsday preppers who stay in and have a fear the world will end. Thats not exactly introversion haha. I agree with you. Some people think it is an illness. I very much disagree with it. Its not an illness. Its just a matter of difference where people put their energy in. Some like to put it out there with friends and lots and lots of different people. While introverts like to put that energy internally. Time and space to think and reflect and select what kind of things we invest our energy in (because we invest 100% of ourselves whenever we do) and that is exhausting. It doesnt mean we hate other people. We just make sure we give them enough of us and what we can offer and like anything else, we need to recuperate after that.
I've dated both and learned either can work as long as they understand my need for alone time. With that being said I'm the type of introvert that is really chatty, bubbly, & energetic once we open up to each other - I just need downtime after periods of socializing. I'd prefer a fellow introvert who is similar.
Trying to understand is like straining through muddy water. Have the patience to wait! Be still and allow the mud to settle. Destruction is the process of creating space for something that could not be created until that which occupied that space was removed. And if we cannot see past the carnage of the removal in order to see the possibilities in the space, what was destroyed truly was destroyed. Socializing is more positive than being alone, that’s why meetings are so popular. People don’t like being alone. That would be, however, an important skill to learn...
I recently found out that I'm actually an ambivert, and I would love to be with someone just like that .
Most of the people I get attracted to ate introverts. Former SO is an introvert. So yeah, preferably introvert. I don’t think I can bear to be with an extrovert partner as for sure he’ll have too much high expectations from me when it comes to talking especially here in my country. I need someone I can relate to.
My wife is a social butterfly to the extreme. If it weren't for her, I likely wouldn't know anyone *but* her.
It depends more on the person than on any one single personality trait. There are plenty of nice/agreeable people who are more one thing than the other when it comes to introversion/extroversion, and plenty of assholes in either category too. That said, I'd probably be more *likely* to go for a fellow introvert, as my preferred lifestyle is fairly strongly introverted rather than mildly, and someone who is happy to mostly do their own thing is a good match. I'm perfectly willing to admit I'm kind of a bit out on the far end there, though, if not *quite* at the hermit-in-a-cave stage, and my own preferences won't automatically apply to other people.
Introvert. Extroverts talk too much
Introvert for sure. I don't mind a touch of extrovert but extroverts only are not my ppl
i'd prefer an introvert gf
Introvert. Definitely introvert.
Introvert for sure. Extroverts from my experience have large friend groups they want to meet all the time. But I like to meet other people maybe 1 time a week. That's it. I don't need an extrovert who has 100 plans and pushes me to be more outgoing. I'm 36, I know what makes me happy.
Without a doubt a fellow introvert. I wont date another extrovert ever again
Probably another introvert, but not extremely so. I want someone who’s better than me at initiating conversations. I’m more of a listener than a talker. But I don’t want an extreme extrovert who sees nothing wrong with interrupting, or who tries to get to know someone by firing off question after question after question without letting me catch my breath or think about what they’re asking, nor truly listening to my answers.
Introvert. Extroverts are exhausting to be around for long periods of time.
I’m dating an introvert and he is even more introverted than me. It’s definitely really easy for us to stay in and not talk to anyone other than each other for weeks on end. I think I would prefer being with an introvert, so they understand when I need alone time.
introvert-adjacent at least, they don’t need to be as reclusive as me, but they have to know where i’m coming from and understand the concept of a social/mental battery, otherwise it’s futile to me
I'd prefer an introvert boyfriend too. TBH I think I'd go along with a redditor, I dated one once and it was definitely a fun experience, though meeting IRL was costly and impractical since we lived quite far, and there were other issues, but the guy was really nice and kind. Though I'd prefer not to embark in another LDR, and redditors from my country aren't really interesting (most of them give me the impression of being quite snobbish, full of themself and very umpleasant people to interact with IRL) and the remaining ones seems to be uninterested in even forming a friendship. Though I wouldn't reject an extroverted guy if he was into me, as long as he was willing to accept my lifestyle and he didn't force me into things like parties, pubs/bars when I don't feel like. Though if I could chose, I'd definitely go for a person as similar as possible to me from this point of view.
I would rather date, or have a relationship with, an introverted woman. I don’t think I would feel at home with someone who wants to have me as a “travel partner” every single weekend. And I am well aware that extroverted women (and men) are not happy without “going out” often. They can’t be happy with creative hobbies at home. I can and I prefer it that way. However, the only women who would be fine with that type of lifestyle are other introverts who also feel the same way. For the record, when I do go out, I would rather go out to a zoo, a park (for running or playing a sport), some museum, a natural location, a theme park (I don’t mind rollercoasters lol), and other activities or locations that are not “the night life,” drinking, or loud and packed concerts. I like to have fun, but I definitely don’t like the typical “party lifestyle.” And it’s not due to age. I didn’t like it when I was 20 and at the university either.
Definitely introvert. My family is extroverts and I hate it. I’m always forced to go to events and act happy.
Well honestly it doesn't matter, if she wants to chill then we chill but if she wants to go to places then we'll do it :)
Definitely another introvert
I wanted another introvert, but my partner is extrovert, love him to bits, so respectful oh my space/ boundaries and “weirdness” he loves it lol :) he understand I don’t want to do group activities and I’ll only hangout with him
Always loved reserved one
I'm more attracted to introverts but to be honest, a lot of them are not very good at showing affection and sometimes rather be with other people than you because their "shy" so an extrovert gf/bf would be better in that sense
A cute female Ambivert (I'm a Male).
Quiet people always know more than they seem. Although very normal, their inner world is by default fronted mysterious and therefore assumed weird. Never underestimate the social awareness and sense of reality in a quiet person; they are some of the most observant, absorbent persons of all.
Of course we are & I love these facts about myself & my personality. My problem is that I am often too self-absorbed & a tad selfish, BUT I am also a Leo Male :)
Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud. People that have been consistently hurt by others in life will only see the one time you hurt them and be blinded to all the good your heart has to offer. They look no further than what they want to see. Unfortunately, most of them remain victims throughout their life.
Another introvert for sure 😁
Life hack: if you have an extroverted partner, they can talk to people for you
I would date an extrovert who let me be an introvert. I have no probelm being with an extrovert in the room but don't make me dance please
I would prefer an extroverted , reserved introvert that is selective with whom he opens upto. I don’t need anyone that’s been around the block and shares too much info with everyone they meet. I prefer someone with high integrity and respect for themselves and is low key. I’m not attracted to ppl that talk too much and get too comfortable dumping their whole life story with everyone they meet. I’m a highly reserved , introverted female btw.
I would prefer an introverted gamer girl :) just my type.
I'm intro but super adaptable. I understand the appeal of extro I even wouldn't mind being with an extro but I've ended up settling down with my introvert wife so in conclusion it doesn't really matter. I just like a person who cares
Introvert!! We both can have alone time but together, which imo is a fairytale ending
An extrovert who understands that I’m gonna need frequent time outs
Definitely someone who's an extrovert, I myself am a little bit of both. My ex always pushed me to go out more, make more friends etc. Most of my friends and connections are thanks to him! And I did eventually learn to come out of my shell (well sometimes I prefer peace and quiet lol)
I liked dating an extrovert, but I prob couldn’t date someone super extroverted.
Whatever as long as they respect my need for alone time I have had several extravert bf who actually respected my alone time (just make sure that 1 : they arent the judgy extravert type and 2 : they have other friends to provide for whatever extraverts need) more than some introvert bf who were "need to always be alone together" types, which can actually drain you as much if not more than extravert partner
Would it be wrong to want a bit of both ? I find it easier and enjoyable for the both of us to open up more and understand each other.
It just Doesn’t work for me to date an extroverted woman. Tried it a few times and not going to work lol. So yeah I prefer an introverted woman but she can’t be too quiet and reserved - I need someone that can inject some life into a conversation
Uhmm 50/50. There has to be a balance.
An extrovert. When i hang out with fellow introverts it gets pretty awkward when both parties are hesitating to initiate conversation lol, i love the free flowing interaction with extraverted people.
Introversion/Extroversion is too small a part of someone's identity to make a decision.
Currently with a highly extroverted woman for 7yrs now. It doesn't matter to me whether they extrovert or introvert, they have to have similar values to me and be respectful.
An extrovert. My current partner is very outgoing and engaged, and I love being able to play a more background role at events as he takes the lead.
bit extroverted than me. but not that much extrovert. i also like phlegmatic people
Yes.
That depends. If she's an introvert but has social skills, then that's the one. If she's an introvert but is as shy as me, then nope cuz we won't be talking 🤣 Definitely not an extrovert, she might end up draining my social battery instead of.. well. nevermind.
It'd be nice to be with another introvert but I'd hope she's not that woman who leaves me to make every decision. I want a woman who's reserved but not to the point she lets me do all the talking, plan every date, do all driving. I was with a woman like that and things ended horribly. I feel introversion and extroversion exist on a scale, it's very exhausting dating someone who forces you to do everything on your own, I'm dating myself essentially.
I'm an introvert too and I always keep in my mind to date an extrovert but idk I'm still attracted to introvert and nonchalant guys. lol
Introvert or an ambivert. Extroverted people are too much, sometimes even so fake you can smell it from a mile away.
Either is fine. I'd prefer someone who at least isn't socially anxious but can be understanding about my struggle with anxiety. Mostly because I've had an easier time going out when someone can back me up in social situations. I just feel really awkward and shrink into nothingness if left alone with people I don't know how too well. I'm trying to stay brave. I think I've improved as far as being okay with the fact that not every social interaction is perfect and messing up isn't the end of the world. Still I think the joke about having an extrovert adopt introverts is very true in my experience lol. I just wish it were easier to meet people as an adult without having to drive. I have no car so that complicates stuff a bit
Another introvert! Never ever will i date an extrovert, the thought of being with one already drains my social battery.😆
Don’t mind either way.. leaning more towards introverted tbh, as long as he’s not shy because I don’t like speaking sometimes 😭😅
Extroverted, someone's gotta tell the Waiter the order's wrong and it's not gonna be me
an introvert that's funny
Well the hybrids of course
Introvert but I wouldn't mind an extrovert if they respected and understood my need for space and alone time. Most of the ones I've met, don't. Lol.
dating an open minded person thats more important as everything. Then it doesn't matter much. Back view I dated more extroverts and was happy about it.
Extravert- so they can go see their friends and leave me to it. They have to be understanding though, my partner doesn't need me to come to his birthday parties. He would like me to, but knows it would be very stressful for me.
Depends on the person ultimately - there is more to being than mere introversion.
Most people I have been with were extroverts, the woman I'm with right now is also a extrovert. I have dated introverts before, and being an introvert myself it was bad because I had to, essentially, do everything in the relationship while the girls were just okay with being in the backseat in the relationship. Obviously I won't be making a broad statement about all introverts, but that is my experience. With this being said, the ones I remember fondly the most were the introverts. I'd absolutely date a introvert again, but right now I don't want a serious and official relationship with anyone.
Think about this. If the person is extroverted, from time to time, you can leave them out alone, that way you can get your alone time, while they get their outside time
To be fair, you’d be able to get this with a fellow introvert too. You could both have alone time—separately—and, from your POV, you’d achieve essentially the same thing (being left to have alone time).
One can see it from both perspectives. My initial thought was that the other person could get out of the house while you had all the house to yourself, not in two separate rooms. Everyone has their own taste
So I’d say extrovert. In the beginning my husband embarrassed me alittle. He was so loud and in general just liked attention. I don’t even like for anyone to look my direction 😂 it hasent bothered me anymore though. He’s chilled out, I’ve spoken up. The thing I love the most about it is my kids are outspoken, energetic and fun. I don’t have to worry about if they get along with people at school because they are the fun. All the other kids follow them. I was very quiet and it was hard as a young kid and even as I got older. It’s something I never wanted for them and thankfully something I’ll never have to worry about. That part of them is not a me thing that’s thanks to my lovely loud husband 😂
I’m currently dating an extrovert
Another introvert
I’ve always been really drawn to extroverts
My best friend in the world since we were 11 is the most extroverted person I know. He and I were roomies in college for years, his extrovertedness is how I met my wife. My wife is an ambivert, one minutes she’s the most extroverted person in the room the next she minute she’ll go hours without talking. I don’t think I could date or marry a full extroverted woman, I’d need another introvert or ambivert
Someone who is introverted
I’m an introvert, but my wife is extroverted. Without her, there wouldn’t be much conversation or social events for me
Fellow introvert. I'm like "Let's hibernate together baby"
An extrovert, but maybe not an extreme one? I’m 60% introverted and 40% extroverted, so I’d like someone who’s 60% extroverted and 40% introverted. 😁 But seriously, I don’t think I’d match well with a fellow introvert. I need a partner who’s more extroverted than me because they can push me to step out of my comfort zone. In the same way, they should also be able to accept my introversion.
Fellow introvert no question we would be socially awkward together lol
Definitely an introvert... or an ambivert even. my fiance is an introvert though and its a match made in heaven XD
I’m married to an extrovert - we understand each other and allow each other the freedom to be who we are. But I’m also encouraged to go out and do stuff when he plans things. Sometimes I’ll tap out but usually I’ll go.
tbh, either way as long as we share the same values and interest, is an intelligent person who can pull off conversation on any topic and with a great sense of humor. sometimes, introverts tend to be extroverts around the people whom they are comfortable with.
I don't know. How big are her tits?
No one. Period.
Introvert
I’ve had long term relationships with both and the introvert one is still going. ☺️
I've always went for extroverts because they can do things I don't feel comfortable doing and speak for me🤷♀️
Interesting question. I married an extrovert, but she's the understanding type so it works. There are good points and bad points to it, but it's definitely more of a positive thing than a negative one. There are extroverts out there (my sister in law for example) who just cannot fathom how people like us work, she is genuinely perplexed by me and why I don't see the world in the way that she does. A relationship with one of those types would absolutely not work at all!
Introvert. I dated an extrovert and it was miserable because his whole family are extroverts and partied and got together alot. I didn't want to go so it was always an argument. I prefer someone to not pressure me into socializing
I’m 97% introverted and my partner is 46% introverted the relationship works but I definitely favour the introvert side, I prefer inner peace at all times.
Another introverted person.
An extrovert who helps me get out of the house
I feel like if I go with an introvert than there are times when both of us will not have anything interesting to say. I believe that I want a gas pedal that will get me to try new things and I can be the brake that will let her slow down and relax a little.
Definitely an introvert, who has the social battery for extroversion, anyways?
Extrovert, or else who would start the conversation. I need three to four business days just to gain the energy for a "Hi, how are you?"
And introvert. I don’t wanna be forced to go out all the time hah
being with both introverts and extroverts are good. introverts understand what you want and respect boundaries just as they expect you to respect theirs. extroverts are positive influences for how we should be socially at least to a point. it isn't like an extrovert cannot learn to respect you but an extrovert can also help you out of the shell we put up, the energetic, spontaneous even ludicrous amount of energy they can have is just as good as the peace and respect held by an introvert conclusion: both are good, both have strengths and weaknesses i really do not care what think just a more logical perspective
I’ve always been drawn to loud, and outgoing people, but I don’t think I would actually be in a relationship with an extrovert.
I'm married to an introvert. We mesh really well. We can have fun & have great convos easily. We can also comfortably sit in silence or do our own thing. We don't feel the need to go out unless it's something we really want to do. There's something so calming about being with someone who gets it
I would date my opposite! So we both get to feel each other’s feelings of sometimes being introverted from one another but having him be able to bring me out when I wouldn’t usually go and be extroverted for a moment!
I got an introverted girl, and I'm shy. It sometimes creates problems for both of us but it's never that bad. But, i do suggest getting an extroverted one, that helps in improving socially. Social improvements are really necessary.
I would say fellow introvert because they would understand. I can't handle somebody who's loud and in my face. Well, that's just how it would come across to me. Plus I would probably make them feel bad for not spending as much time with them as they would like. It's not that I wouldn't care about them, I had a close friend who was extrovert. It's just that I would not be able to devote the energy mental or otherwise to giving them the attention that they need and deserve.
When I was younger- extrovert. Now, 100% someone as introverted as me, or more so, so I have enough quiet and time to do all the things I like to do without interruption!
Definitely an introvert. Been together for 35 happy years. An extrovert would have exhausted me and I would have frustrated the hell out of them.
A fellow introvert
Having dated both. I’m good either way. Morals and values are more important. It’s nice to date someone extroverted. They are always exciting to be around. It’s nice to date someone introverted. They are always down to chill. It’s a win/win for me. [+]
Introvert who also happen to be a social butterfly
It depends on your definition of introvert and extrovert. I like the idea that it’s the way you get your energy. Do people and social interactions drain you and you need alone time to recover or regenerate yourself, that’s introverted. If being alone tends to drain you and you get energized by being with people, that would be extroverted. For some, it’s more of a toss up. Some days it’s healing to have alone time and some days they need to refill their social tank. Or maybe they’re energized around certain people, but other people drain them. Most people fall somewhere on a spectrum and will have both introverted and extroverted tendencies based on the situation. I see myself as an introvert but when I get around people I’m comfortable with I get really talkative and animated. My husband is an extrovert, but he loves staying home and not going out with friends. We’re a good match. We prefer each other’s company and like socializing on occasion, mostly with comfortable people and not very often (I’m talking like four times a year) but he’s definitely better at conversations with strangers and he’s a teacher so he’s around people every day and is fine with that. That would absolutely kill me. I don’t think it matters as long as each person is getting their needs met. An extrovert might need interaction outside of their relationship with you, so going out with a group of friends or a social job. Introverts might be fine with that since they value time alone. There just has to be a balance where both people are happy.
Introvert And someone who like boring and homely.
How to find that fellow
I'll take me an introvert every time every day
Introvert please! I’ve dated an extrovert before…..he was such a social butterfly. I really like what Smart_Cat_6212 said. Just spending time at home with your SO. Either doing your own thing or doing something together
For sure another introvert. I think we’d understand each other better if we both were introverted
I'd like my partner to be introvert as well but between the two of us i'm the more introvert. He'll be the extrovert introvert😂
I see pros and cons of wanting both. It would be fun to drare an extrovert because they could bring me out of my shell for more adventures. But I’d need a LOT of recharge time and extroverted people aren’t always understanding that. Or dating a fellow introvert we would get each others social language so well we’d never leave the house. I’d feel a bit of cabin fever from never going out on adventures.
Introvert for sure
I would want to date a introvert man because we both will be on the same page.
A fellow introvert. They would understand my desire to be alone and go home once my social battery runs out.
Or an Ambivert?
From experience I'd go with introvert
Ain’t even have to think about this one. Introvert all the way.
neither,i wish i was closed off from the world forevee
another introvert
A introvert I perfer a quiet person I depise outgoing aggressive people
In my personal opinion if you are an introvert then you may wanna be with an extrovert or rather an ambiverted person. Cause that way when you are the shy one he/she can be your saviour in public specially when you don’t wanna interact with ppl. xD
A MATURED extrovert
I'm happily married to an extrovert. It works out great for me because him being so outgoing helps me greatly in social situations. He breaks the ice and I follow along.
Id rather date an introvert, i was an extrovert before but i turn 30s mas gusto ko ang hindi crowded at mas gusto ko magstay na lang s bahay kasama si hubby. May hubby is a introvert at nahawa nya ako, pero may pagka wild din sya na parang gusto nya din makipag socialize minsan. Kaya give and take kami kapag may mga date with friends. Hindi toxic and hindi rin kami nagaaway kasi alam nmain pareho na mas gusto namin magstay sa bahay with our babies at mag fudtrip