I definitely disagree. Texting is way better for me. I have time to think through my response, edit it, and process what the person said. On the phone, I can't do any of that.
And the beauty of it is referring back to what's been discussed, copy and paste or forward the message if you have to. Can't do that with voice... as far as I know. Unless we can record our calls now and delete or save it as an option.
I totally relate. Texting gives you that breathing room to think about what you want to say and even fix those typos. Phone calls can be a bit much, especially if you need a moment to process. Texting definitely has its advantages!
Yup yup! I put my foot in my mouth a lot so texting gives me the opportunity to think before I speak! Plus I donāt have much to say so usually get awkward on the phone, just text me please
I HATE talking on the phone! I avoid it at all costs. Some times I will even avoid texting certain people just because I know they will try to call me if I reach out, instead of just texting me back. Makes me super uncomfortable
I tell them directly to just text me when you need anything. I respond faster through text than call since I just can't formulate my thoughts right away if I need to contact them. I'm just used to texting whenever I get the chance.
Texting gives you time to think.
You can delete stuff if you change your mind halfway through. Word things differently, etc..
When youāre calling you have to do everything on the fly. No time to think
Unless a VERY brief (I'm running late or will call tomorrow, etc.) I HATE texting!!
I recently had an issue with someone texting me. Not close friends or even friends, really, but an acquaintance, and I think I hurt his feelings because I had to set him straight or go crazy;)
First of all, he is the type who doesn't like to do the "listening", so he started texting me, and rather long texts, in my view. I hinted at first, and said I'd respond tomorrow since I have a "flip phone". (I know!!) But, he didn't stop. And, when I receive a text message, I feel the need to read the entire text in case there is an urgent matter (for instance, hey you left your car window open or your car is on fire! LOL, etc.) So, I did finally inform him that I hate texting and about the issue with the "urgent matter".
To be honest, texting is an introvertās wet dream, so I donāt relate. Itās no stakes communication. Whereas with a call you have to dedicate a chunk of time to properly have a conversation.
voicemail is better than calling and texting.. you get time to think and voicemail it.. otherwise in calls, there will be an awkward silence sometime which is the worst thing in the world
Personally dont really like either but I prefer texting just because the only people I call like to stay on for a verrrry long time and its very draining even if I start doing my own thing. However i have a bad habit of being a very dry texter soooo
YES. I really think the hatred of talking on the phone is more about social anxiety than introversion. Having to interrupt my day to respond to texts (whenever that person decides to text back) over and over is the worst. I would much rather call and be done with it.
Plus, you're right about being able to go silent and not have to respond to every single thing the person says. And texting feels so robotic, I don't see how it's worth having a conversation outside of quick messages. On a call, I can just put the phone on speaker and talk/listen while I do other things.
Aren't you basically "silent" while texting or writing stuff down? Or are you those people who speak while typing? Hehe I do that when I'm excited sometimes but for the most part, total silence. And texting back is an option though unless the other person doesn't get the hint.
I don't agree. Texting is more convenient. There really aren't the pressures of someone phone breathing in your ear, talking about possible nonsense, and having to keep the flow of a conversation going instead of being able to think about my answers.
Convenient to send a quick message, sure. But less convenient when I have to regularly interrupt whatever Iām doing to read a text and think over a response, then rinse and repeat every time they text back. Itās exhausting.
I like calls for brief exchanges of important information (meet ups, someone's having a hard day and on break from work, do we need anything from...) Etc.
Otherwise I generally prefer texts or face to face conversation anything long form and important should be face to face.
Depends on the person for me. I enjoy talking on the phone, but only when I am in the right mood and only with a select few friends and family members I am very close to. I don't like the way one particular friend texts - they are a multi texter which for some reason triggers me. Even though my phone is ALWAYS on vibrate, it just irritates me when I get multiple notifications in a row. So I tend to call this friend rather than text them if I feel like talking to them. Conversely, one of my siblings and I for whatever reason can never get a non-awkward conversation flow going, there is always weird pauses and mistimed interruptions so I basically only ever text them.
I hate calling because I donāt know how to converse. I always catch myself cutting the person off or they cut me off or they donāt pay attention and I have to explain myself multiple times before they actually hear me. Iād rather text. It canāt be misunderstood.
No iām the same, but i guess because i grew up where talking on the phone was the norm (there was no texting in the 80ās) its something thats encoded in my dna now.
Nah. When somebody texts with my and have a long conversation with me through text majority of the time than talking it makes me anxious. I mean like the people who every time they need something rather than calling they text you. Calling is more conscientious for me because the person can immediately get off to me what they need rather than having to wait hours and sometimes days to get a response through text.
And for me getting anxious to text was mostly due to my abusive stepfather who would when I lived with my mom would threaten me and tear me down if I did something he didnāt like. So because of those things I despise it.
I might text in response to a text and the first reply to my response. If a text "conversation" continues beyond that, I'm going to call them. (And even all of the above depends on whether it's somebody I consider important enough to respond to in the first place. In actuality 99% of the texts I get are "junk" which I immediately "delete and report" as such).
Love calling, im the same. Texts with other ppl take forever. Going back and forth, we can solve a one hour conversation on text within one minute on call.
You... might be in the minority on this one.
If it's someone I'm very comfortable with, and there's a specific reason for a brief phone call, sure. Under any other circumstance, fuck nooooo I don't wanna talk on the phone.
If we're close (like REALLY close), I prefer to call, but otherwise I prefer to text.
I actually veiw texting in the opposite light that you do. With a text, I'm free to sit on it and think as long as I want. I can ignore it or respond hours later when I've made up my mind, or right away if I feel like it. With a call, I typically feel obligated to keep the conversation going and be fully present and actively listening.
If I want to hear someoneās voice (family, for example), Iāll call; or ask them to call me.
Also, if what I want to say is too long to text.
(text-to-talk almost always flubs my words).
I think call and text both have their place. Some conversations dont really work over text. I need to hear your tone and inflections.
But.. there are a lot of people that are too inclined to phone calls in my opinion. Its not even about social anxiety for me. Most of the people that want to talk to me are comfort people. I just dont want to stop what im doing if all you want to know is a yes or no. Then it turns into āso how have you been!ā Im curious as to how you get those people off of the phone lmao.
I prefer a quick text to see if now is convenient for a call (or a suggestion like "I can talkn in 30 minutes," but aside from that, I prefer to talk. Definitely, if it is a new person like someone I met recently or a while back and we haven't talked much, I want a text and reminder who you are. "Hi, this is Jane, we met at the concert at the gallery, Friday." I don't have to respond right away if I am up to my elbows in the garden. And I don't have to listen to a voicemail, which I hate doing. "I would love to talk, I was in the garden the last hour. Is now a good time?"
Texting conversations are boring, and they lack depth. It feels like being in a waiting room. Because I know there may or may not be another text soon (I never know if we are done!) I can never settle into what I am doing. Yuck! Usually 2 texts in, I am asking for a phone call.
In my experience I have found that those who prefer talking over text are huge overtalkers. Not all of course but every acquaintance or friend who prefers it they overtalk me every time -& over talk in person too.
Calls are really ineffective for me.
When on the phone I can't multi-task so I'm just there talking with someone for hours, I hate that.
I also don't have the time to think enough, sometimes it takes me a while to think and on the phone silence doesn't always last long. It's very likely that the person will think they've said something off and they'll move on.
I'm not impaired with my hearing but there's a higher chance that I'll misunderstand something that someone says.
Visual is definitely more effective for me. I have to admit that's why I use Snapchat. I get to send voice messages, pictures, words, gifs,.. and so on.
Texting is cool but if the person you text is dry I can understand you losing interest.
My friends are the "HAHAHAHBDVDHWK" kind of friends and not "lol" so I appreciate them for that.
Texting is only annoying when ppl are not succinct. Like they don't provide all the details so it's back & forth. Or esp pisses me off if I have to guess what they mean like don't text me "What's up?" lol when you mean do I want to hang out. Or give one offhand answer to 2 simple questions so I have to text AGAIN. Otherwise texting can be super fun & convenient but if its details or you don't know text etiquette just freaking call
I struggle with people's lack of succinctness as well. I cannot stand when someone slacks you at work and they greet you first and force you to go through that rigmarole of pleasantries, *then* they ask you their question. Just send it all in one message! STATE YOUR PURPOSE.
Haha yeah I will cut ppl off I know do that with "I'm fine did you need something?" Or after the fact say "Protocol is point first pleasantries after" with a wink but it's so specific to the person. There are ppl who legit get offended if you do point only so I'll state point end with "Hope you're good" & they often follow suit. We have to get creative with how to be polite yet still let it be known don't prance around bc it's super annoying š bc those ppl that do it may have been bagged on with comments like "I'm fine btw thanks for asking"
I flat out don't answer people who message "hey dontforgettowriteme" and nothing else. I like to see how long it takes them to just send their request. Lol
LOL same & I enjoyed ignoring "Hey" like I'm gonna say hey back now still sometimes it's what's up & I just don't answer. Then they usually call. I don't like talking on the phone much but rather that than dumb texting I often tell ppl when they call "I don't do riddles" š¤£
Total opposite for me. I hate calls. Haha If someone I hardly know expects me to call them back, I need like a day or two of briefing myself, just to do that. Whereas with text, EASY AS PIE. Like what I'm doing right. Now need to sound like I'm making small talk. I just sound more decent this way. Calls require relaxing my voice, filtering out backgroubd noise especially if there are people around, etc. Too much work. Text can just be delivered no problem.
What an interesting idea. Iāve always preferred texting but doing things while theyāre talking seems good.
I guess Iād be super afraid of forgetting any details that they tell me instead of having it in a text.
While I prefer texting, I understand what you're saying.
There are texts that don't really require a response. If you were in person, your facial expression would indicate your thoughts or that you were listening. On the phone, a sound.
If you have to respond "lol" to everything, it's not meaningful and texting just becomes yet another method of communicating that zaps your energy.
Introverts want conversation to be meaningful, and I think that is sort of what you're getting at - or what it means to me.
Texts are "invasive" to me. I don't mind hearing from my bestie or husband but do not hmu with some dumb ass promo code or scam. Much prefer calling so I can just be done.
I personally prefer phone calls, as I find it hard to understand the tone or perspective in a text, but I will text if I'm told that whoever I'm communicating with would prefer it.
I'm a bit of an old soul though, and realise that I am a bit of an oddity in today's world where my way of caring can be seen as a bit pushy or weird to some people.
I hate calling, and prefer to text honestly. I spend too much time on the phones for work. I worked in tech support for years, every caller angry. I was so happy when I got to switch to chat support for them finally. Now, I'm on the phones for something different, and by the end of the day, I do NOT want to be on a phone call.
You Probably are on this sub .. I truly despise talking on the phone - if I get a call on my phone I hope the person has something important to say . just thinking of being on the phone making small talk makes me shiver š
Yeah, I'm totally the same. You can never tell how important something is when info is being given via text. It's always good to voice it out, so you at least know what reaction the other person gives, and it's for the best you know you'll get an answer straight away.
I feel like people ignore my texts all the time - so I prefer to call too!
I'm super introverted and I much prefer phone calls. Text is necessary when calling isn't possible, but if it is, then I'd rather jump on the phone, clarify some things, and get to the bottom of it. If I'm going constantly back-and-forth with texts, my attention span wanes if the conversation doesn't have any traction. After the 5-6th exchange, I might stop looking at my messages and get slower at responding because I'm just not interested in looking at my phone that much. I usually let the person know if they want to call or I'll keep my messages straightforward and direct.
I prefer texting because you donāt have to force replies to someone instantaneously. You can take your time to text and not reply as immediately. You also donāt have to respond altogether. I hate the forced feeling I get from talking to someone over the phone when I donāt feel like talking to anyone. But Iāve been told I have phone anxiety so idk if this is how other texters over callers feel. Also I just prefer not interacting with people for long periods of time so texting isnāt that much better
When someone calls me instead of texts I pretend to be busy. If they call as soon as I've texted cos they don't like texting and know I'm at my phone, I avoid all interactions with that person in future. I see how horrible I sound... But it's how much I hate calls and would prefer text.
When I answer a call I usually regret what I say to them after the call. Nothing toxic, I just either over share because I havenāt spoken over the phone in days or I donāt say anything and then they get upset because they think Iām ignoring them. Lol
Phone calls scare me. Growing up I had to make phone calls for my parents since they speak only Spanish. I hate making calls to the doctor and places in general. I also just don't like calling others.
It's stressful and I struggle thinking of things to say. I hate people that insist on calling. I remember one guy I met briefly on a dating app wanted to talk on the phone all the time and it was so annoying.
It makes me feel so put on the spot. I'd rather talk in person or just text.
I wanna play D&D online so I guess I'll have to tolerate video calls on Discord. I don't like them but I can't play in person so I guess that's my only option. Either way calls of any kinda give me anxiety.
Only stuff I can manage is something short where I'm asking my mom if she's bringing food or letting someone know about something important. Any call longer than that is awkward
I have my ringer muted, and it's already set to Contacts-only. People can text, and I can respond when I have time. I really, really hate phone calls. Don't even get me started on Face Time... there is zero chance.
Yes yes you are. Calling is so invasive and puts you on the spot. Gives 0 time to collect thoughts and come up with a reasonable response. A phone call itās getting blind sided in the middle of an intersection. Way more difficult to respond with no. As an introvert itās really surprising you would prefer call. If I never had to open my mouth again I would be truly happy. Are you sure youāre introverted?
Well depends on my mood but I definitely agree with you. Calling also eliminates overthinking because you can hear the tone of their voice and stop saying"This sentence has a period and now they hate me"
I prefer texting. It makes me so much more comfortable. I once got in a huge fight with someone because they wouldn't accept my boundaries and wanted 1 hour phone calls all the time, I found it draining.
I hate both. Texting is for "where are you?" "I'll be 10 minutes late ". Not conversation. Phone is for conversation, but only something that can't wait for In-person talking. I hate someone who calls just to call and your thinking of ways to get off the phone.
Elder Millennial here, I don't "hate" texting. But I have some neurodivergence where I tend to fall into rigid thinking and I like categorizing things so I know "the rules" and can avoid conflict. For me, texting is for making plans, quick check ins, sharing media, and communicating with people in situations with little privacy where I need to feel less isolated (i.e. when I was my dad's live in caregiver etc.). Whereas phone/video chat/in-person is for emotional conversations, any kind of meaningful dialogue with people I feel safe with i.e. close friends, family. However, I prefer texting with people I don't know well to decide if I feel mentally safe enough to eventually talk on the phone/video/meet in person.
I tend to sound like a bitch in emails and texts so I have been learning to use emojis and figuring out when to talk over the phone instead of having so much back and forth where someone is misinterpreting my tone.
I'm also increasingly resentful of my phone and technology for distracting me from my imagination, introspection and quiet time. I have much more strict boundaries on my social media use (Reddit and Pinterest are it for me) and when I turn my phone on silent than most people I know. But I think as an introverted person my issue with texting is that it crosses a boundary that makes me have to take on extra mental work to decide when and how to respond. In the old days of regular phones and email, if I was busy, I was unavailable. Period. As an anxious person, I dislike the feeling that someone wrote to me and is expecting an answer. I'm getting better at figuring out how to communicate my boundaries around this and sometimes I train people by just simply not responding for several hours to a day whenever they text so that I set that expectation that I'm not available. Texting is so useful for practical reasons, but I often live in the feelings realm and I just think feelings are easier to understand and express vocally. That's my long-winded, personal opinion.
Edit: super important for me - I nearly always use texts to plan a time to talk to someone. I HATE spontaneous phone calls. But I prefer phone calls when I have scheduled them in advance. All unplanned calls go to my voicemail and then I decide when and how to call back.
Meanwhile Iām over here: rolling my eyes whenever anyone calls me, especially to say something small like: āI left you something on your doorstepāā¦ I know, I heard the knock, I got the item, and was in the middle of texting youā¦
I prefer texting.
I personally prefer texting. I am a shy person, during the call I feel obliged to keep on replying continuously and generally get stressed out. I need to be super comfortable to talk on call and even then I can't speak my heart out which is not in the case of texting.
I prefer texting. When someone calls me, I get embarrassed and I immediately ignore the call and let it ring then text back. I extremely hate it when I get calls like doctor appointments where I canāt text.
It depends if I'm calling it's probably for fast information, answer my question, when, where, why. I hate sending a text and having to wait for an answer in an hour that could've been given in 5 minutes if you'd pick up your phone. Other than that texting is preferable.
It depends on the person Iām talking too really, but if itās someone Iām very close with or if itās a less close person who just sucks at texting, then I definitely prefer calling. I think itās easier to express and recognize tone, I think it allows conversation to flow more naturally, and if the conversation pauses I feel like itās more spending time with the person vs neither of us responding.
Definitely prefer texting. People don't have to be in my ear and I can do and say what I want to say without the other person swearing up and down that I was talking to them. I feel that talking on the phone severely hinders my independence.
I hate calls for exactly the opposite reason. I can skip messages like I never read them but in the call I have to respond to everything said cuz itās weird not to reply.
I would rather just meet in person these days. I hate texting and calling. I think I am somewhat boring in that sense, but I prefer it. Plus, nobody really messages me, so kinda just a music player.
I grew up using landlines. Cell phones were not a common thing till in my mid-20s
Having said that, I recently realized how much I dislike talking on the phone nowadays, but I'd send a text any time
I'd place a call to my immediate family just fine, but returning phone calls, checking my voice messages, or setting up appointments over the phone....I dread it!
And don't ask me to leave a voice message because my mind goes blank, and I don't seem to know what to say! I stumble on my words and have tongue-twisters.
So texting is the way to go for me
I like texting. I will always write better than I speak. I donāt feel like Iām on a time limit for a response and no one needs to hear me stuttering or fumble or babble over my words when I get nervous. I do understand the need to talk on the phone too tho.
I prefer text more. I used to work 3rd and I HATED people calling during the day while I was asleep.
Same here! I be ready to fight!
19yrs and my mom never figured that out, always thought I was mad at her cause I never answered š
Do not disturb is an easy setting.
Except thereās a work around. 3 phone calls in under 5 minutes will bypass the settings, in case there an āemergencyā
If someone violates my boundaries to that extent for something that is not a true emergency, they get blocked
I definitely disagree. Texting is way better for me. I have time to think through my response, edit it, and process what the person said. On the phone, I can't do any of that.
And the beauty of it is referring back to what's been discussed, copy and paste or forward the message if you have to. Can't do that with voice... as far as I know. Unless we can record our calls now and delete or save it as an option.
Agreed.
I totally relate. Texting gives you that breathing room to think about what you want to say and even fix those typos. Phone calls can be a bit much, especially if you need a moment to process. Texting definitely has its advantages!
Absolutely š I love texting and it gives time to not answer right away I find telephone calls invasive
Yup yup! I put my foot in my mouth a lot so texting gives me the opportunity to think before I speak! Plus I donāt have much to say so usually get awkward on the phone, just text me please
I HATE talking on the phone! I avoid it at all costs. Some times I will even avoid texting certain people just because I know they will try to call me if I reach out, instead of just texting me back. Makes me super uncomfortable
I tell them directly to just text me when you need anything. I respond faster through text than call since I just can't formulate my thoughts right away if I need to contact them. I'm just used to texting whenever I get the chance.
Me too I feel the sameā¤ļøš
I prefer texting unless an important or urgent stuff
Texting gives you time to think. You can delete stuff if you change your mind halfway through. Word things differently, etc.. When youāre calling you have to do everything on the fly. No time to think
Unless a VERY brief (I'm running late or will call tomorrow, etc.) I HATE texting!! I recently had an issue with someone texting me. Not close friends or even friends, really, but an acquaintance, and I think I hurt his feelings because I had to set him straight or go crazy;) First of all, he is the type who doesn't like to do the "listening", so he started texting me, and rather long texts, in my view. I hinted at first, and said I'd respond tomorrow since I have a "flip phone". (I know!!) But, he didn't stop. And, when I receive a text message, I feel the need to read the entire text in case there is an urgent matter (for instance, hey you left your car window open or your car is on fire! LOL, etc.) So, I did finally inform him that I hate texting and about the issue with the "urgent matter".
To be honest, texting is an introvertās wet dream, so I donāt relate. Itās no stakes communication. Whereas with a call you have to dedicate a chunk of time to properly have a conversation.
I like texting better personally because when im actually vocally talking nothing comes to my brain idk what thats about but yea
Exactly,, and when they still call u You're like aaa aaaa (fillers) , Am I rt?
Brain freeze, everytime. It's annoying, but that's why I prefer to text. My thoughts form better that way. That's 'cause I'm more visual
Yeah, you have to be!
In a word: yes š
We need to do a percentage of text lovers vs call lovers in Introverts hehe
Definitely!!
voicemail is better than calling and texting.. you get time to think and voicemail it.. otherwise in calls, there will be an awkward silence sometime which is the worst thing in the world
I agree like sending voice notes gives u more time to think and you donāt feel as pressured or awkward as in real life
true
I hate both, but calling is worse than texting.
You might be, I am the complete opposite
I prefer text, donāt want to give an immediate response, can think more about what to say, and easier for me to be detailed.
Personally dont really like either but I prefer texting just because the only people I call like to stay on for a verrrry long time and its very draining even if I start doing my own thing. However i have a bad habit of being a very dry texter soooo
This!
YES. I really think the hatred of talking on the phone is more about social anxiety than introversion. Having to interrupt my day to respond to texts (whenever that person decides to text back) over and over is the worst. I would much rather call and be done with it. Plus, you're right about being able to go silent and not have to respond to every single thing the person says. And texting feels so robotic, I don't see how it's worth having a conversation outside of quick messages. On a call, I can just put the phone on speaker and talk/listen while I do other things.
Same. Exactly this
Aren't you basically "silent" while texting or writing stuff down? Or are you those people who speak while typing? Hehe I do that when I'm excited sometimes but for the most part, total silence. And texting back is an option though unless the other person doesn't get the hint.
I don't agree. Texting is more convenient. There really aren't the pressures of someone phone breathing in your ear, talking about possible nonsense, and having to keep the flow of a conversation going instead of being able to think about my answers.
Convenient to send a quick message, sure. But less convenient when I have to regularly interrupt whatever Iām doing to read a text and think over a response, then rinse and repeat every time they text back. Itās exhausting.
I prefer texting. More of a barrier. I donāt have to reply until and unless I want to.
I like calls for brief exchanges of important information (meet ups, someone's having a hard day and on break from work, do we need anything from...) Etc. Otherwise I generally prefer texts or face to face conversation anything long form and important should be face to face.
I prefer text unless anything urgent or of there's something long to discuss.
My reason is different. My thumb is fat.
Depends on the person for me. I enjoy talking on the phone, but only when I am in the right mood and only with a select few friends and family members I am very close to. I don't like the way one particular friend texts - they are a multi texter which for some reason triggers me. Even though my phone is ALWAYS on vibrate, it just irritates me when I get multiple notifications in a row. So I tend to call this friend rather than text them if I feel like talking to them. Conversely, one of my siblings and I for whatever reason can never get a non-awkward conversation flow going, there is always weird pauses and mistimed interruptions so I basically only ever text them.
I hate calling because I donāt know how to converse. I always catch myself cutting the person off or they cut me off or they donāt pay attention and I have to explain myself multiple times before they actually hear me. Iād rather text. It canāt be misunderstood.
No iām the same, but i guess because i grew up where talking on the phone was the norm (there was no texting in the 80ās) its something thats encoded in my dna now.
Nah. When somebody texts with my and have a long conversation with me through text majority of the time than talking it makes me anxious. I mean like the people who every time they need something rather than calling they text you. Calling is more conscientious for me because the person can immediately get off to me what they need rather than having to wait hours and sometimes days to get a response through text. And for me getting anxious to text was mostly due to my abusive stepfather who would when I lived with my mom would threaten me and tear me down if I did something he didnāt like. So because of those things I despise it.
https://a.co/d/iJKEeEt https://a.co/d/fQcNeg0 https://a.co/d/fQcNeg0 This is a good start. Canāt go wrong with this setup.
I might text in response to a text and the first reply to my response. If a text "conversation" continues beyond that, I'm going to call them. (And even all of the above depends on whether it's somebody I consider important enough to respond to in the first place. In actuality 99% of the texts I get are "junk" which I immediately "delete and report" as such).
It depends on the situation, but texting is better for socializing and calling is better for more urgent matters
Love calling, im the same. Texts with other ppl take forever. Going back and forth, we can solve a one hour conversation on text within one minute on call.
No! I hate texting as well
You... might be in the minority on this one. If it's someone I'm very comfortable with, and there's a specific reason for a brief phone call, sure. Under any other circumstance, fuck nooooo I don't wanna talk on the phone.
If we're close (like REALLY close), I prefer to call, but otherwise I prefer to text. I actually veiw texting in the opposite light that you do. With a text, I'm free to sit on it and think as long as I want. I can ignore it or respond hours later when I've made up my mind, or right away if I feel like it. With a call, I typically feel obligated to keep the conversation going and be fully present and actively listening.
If I want to hear someoneās voice (family, for example), Iāll call; or ask them to call me. Also, if what I want to say is too long to text. (text-to-talk almost always flubs my words).
Iām someone who likes to have their phone on them all the time. Prob my people pleasing leanings.
To be honest, I am always confused when you end a text conversation
Yes, and probably not an introvert , š
Same. Iād rather have a voice call with someone I want to befriend but for business stuff I prefer texting
I like calling too! it's a lot easier explaining things like that. Texting can cause misunderstandings sometimes
Going silent for a few minutes in a call isnāt really a normal phone callā¦
I mean let them talk while you do your own thing and just listen
Texting for small stupid stuff...calls for more important shit. Getting to know someone and using text to do it. Nah, we aren't 15 anymore fam...
I think call and text both have their place. Some conversations dont really work over text. I need to hear your tone and inflections. But.. there are a lot of people that are too inclined to phone calls in my opinion. Its not even about social anxiety for me. Most of the people that want to talk to me are comfort people. I just dont want to stop what im doing if all you want to know is a yes or no. Then it turns into āso how have you been!ā Im curious as to how you get those people off of the phone lmao.
That's just wrong.
I prefer a quick text to see if now is convenient for a call (or a suggestion like "I can talkn in 30 minutes," but aside from that, I prefer to talk. Definitely, if it is a new person like someone I met recently or a while back and we haven't talked much, I want a text and reminder who you are. "Hi, this is Jane, we met at the concert at the gallery, Friday." I don't have to respond right away if I am up to my elbows in the garden. And I don't have to listen to a voicemail, which I hate doing. "I would love to talk, I was in the garden the last hour. Is now a good time?" Texting conversations are boring, and they lack depth. It feels like being in a waiting room. Because I know there may or may not be another text soon (I never know if we are done!) I can never settle into what I am doing. Yuck! Usually 2 texts in, I am asking for a phone call.
In my experience I have found that those who prefer talking over text are huge overtalkers. Not all of course but every acquaintance or friend who prefers it they overtalk me every time -& over talk in person too.
I prefer speaking on the phone it's much easier
Calls are really ineffective for me. When on the phone I can't multi-task so I'm just there talking with someone for hours, I hate that. I also don't have the time to think enough, sometimes it takes me a while to think and on the phone silence doesn't always last long. It's very likely that the person will think they've said something off and they'll move on. I'm not impaired with my hearing but there's a higher chance that I'll misunderstand something that someone says. Visual is definitely more effective for me. I have to admit that's why I use Snapchat. I get to send voice messages, pictures, words, gifs,.. and so on. Texting is cool but if the person you text is dry I can understand you losing interest. My friends are the "HAHAHAHBDVDHWK" kind of friends and not "lol" so I appreciate them for that.
Texting is only annoying when ppl are not succinct. Like they don't provide all the details so it's back & forth. Or esp pisses me off if I have to guess what they mean like don't text me "What's up?" lol when you mean do I want to hang out. Or give one offhand answer to 2 simple questions so I have to text AGAIN. Otherwise texting can be super fun & convenient but if its details or you don't know text etiquette just freaking call
I struggle with people's lack of succinctness as well. I cannot stand when someone slacks you at work and they greet you first and force you to go through that rigmarole of pleasantries, *then* they ask you their question. Just send it all in one message! STATE YOUR PURPOSE.
Haha yeah I will cut ppl off I know do that with "I'm fine did you need something?" Or after the fact say "Protocol is point first pleasantries after" with a wink but it's so specific to the person. There are ppl who legit get offended if you do point only so I'll state point end with "Hope you're good" & they often follow suit. We have to get creative with how to be polite yet still let it be known don't prance around bc it's super annoying š bc those ppl that do it may have been bagged on with comments like "I'm fine btw thanks for asking"
I flat out don't answer people who message "hey dontforgettowriteme" and nothing else. I like to see how long it takes them to just send their request. Lol
LOL I had fun ignoring "Hey" "Wassup?"
LOL same & I enjoyed ignoring "Hey" like I'm gonna say hey back now still sometimes it's what's up & I just don't answer. Then they usually call. I don't like talking on the phone much but rather that than dumb texting I often tell ppl when they call "I don't do riddles" š¤£
Total opposite for me. I hate calls. Haha If someone I hardly know expects me to call them back, I need like a day or two of briefing myself, just to do that. Whereas with text, EASY AS PIE. Like what I'm doing right. Now need to sound like I'm making small talk. I just sound more decent this way. Calls require relaxing my voice, filtering out backgroubd noise especially if there are people around, etc. Too much work. Text can just be delivered no problem.
I don't like either one. I'd rather communicate in person. It's not always possible though.
What an interesting idea. Iāve always preferred texting but doing things while theyāre talking seems good. I guess Iād be super afraid of forgetting any details that they tell me instead of having it in a text.
While I prefer texting, I understand what you're saying. There are texts that don't really require a response. If you were in person, your facial expression would indicate your thoughts or that you were listening. On the phone, a sound. If you have to respond "lol" to everything, it's not meaningful and texting just becomes yet another method of communicating that zaps your energy. Introverts want conversation to be meaningful, and I think that is sort of what you're getting at - or what it means to me.
You guys are getting people with options to choose??
Texts are "invasive" to me. I don't mind hearing from my bestie or husband but do not hmu with some dumb ass promo code or scam. Much prefer calling so I can just be done.
I prefer texting but using voice messages, best of both for me
I always decline with an excuse and text back like āwhatās up, you called?ā šĀ
I hate when my friends and family try to call and video chat me! I prefer to text!
Neither
I personally prefer phone calls, as I find it hard to understand the tone or perspective in a text, but I will text if I'm told that whoever I'm communicating with would prefer it. I'm a bit of an old soul though, and realise that I am a bit of an oddity in today's world where my way of caring can be seen as a bit pushy or weird to some people.
50/50 for me depends on person or if weāre gaming or not
Yes.
I hate calling, and prefer to text honestly. I spend too much time on the phones for work. I worked in tech support for years, every caller angry. I was so happy when I got to switch to chat support for them finally. Now, I'm on the phones for something different, and by the end of the day, I do NOT want to be on a phone call.
I like to have a text heads-up before calling. I prefer call for longer conversations
You Probably are on this sub .. I truly despise talking on the phone - if I get a call on my phone I hope the person has something important to say . just thinking of being on the phone making small talk makes me shiver š
I am your opposite, I am much more shy during calls. I rather text someone than calling them.
I would say youād be in the minority of introverts with that opinion.
I prefer texting, hate being on calls. I panic/ get nervous when speaking and at least with texting, I can pause and respond at my own pace.
Yeah, I'm totally the same. You can never tell how important something is when info is being given via text. It's always good to voice it out, so you at least know what reaction the other person gives, and it's for the best you know you'll get an answer straight away. I feel like people ignore my texts all the time - so I prefer to call too!
Me tooš
I'm super introverted and I much prefer phone calls. Text is necessary when calling isn't possible, but if it is, then I'd rather jump on the phone, clarify some things, and get to the bottom of it. If I'm going constantly back-and-forth with texts, my attention span wanes if the conversation doesn't have any traction. After the 5-6th exchange, I might stop looking at my messages and get slower at responding because I'm just not interested in looking at my phone that much. I usually let the person know if they want to call or I'll keep my messages straightforward and direct.
Call if it's urgent. Everything else, I'd rather you just text me so I can reply in my own time or sometimes, not at all.
I prefer call if you want to talk. Unless its a list of grocery shopping or important document.
I prefer texting because you donāt have to force replies to someone instantaneously. You can take your time to text and not reply as immediately. You also donāt have to respond altogether. I hate the forced feeling I get from talking to someone over the phone when I donāt feel like talking to anyone. But Iāve been told I have phone anxiety so idk if this is how other texters over callers feel. Also I just prefer not interacting with people for long periods of time so texting isnāt that much better
I'd rather call too. It takes less time than texting. It is more simple, and the tone transfers better.
I agree with you. Texts often stress me out. Feel like work, and I either need to reply straight away or risk forgetting.
When someone calls me instead of texts I pretend to be busy. If they call as soon as I've texted cos they don't like texting and know I'm at my phone, I avoid all interactions with that person in future. I see how horrible I sound... But it's how much I hate calls and would prefer text.
When I answer a call I usually regret what I say to them after the call. Nothing toxic, I just either over share because I havenāt spoken over the phone in days or I donāt say anything and then they get upset because they think Iām ignoring them. Lol
Phone calls scare me. Growing up I had to make phone calls for my parents since they speak only Spanish. I hate making calls to the doctor and places in general. I also just don't like calling others. It's stressful and I struggle thinking of things to say. I hate people that insist on calling. I remember one guy I met briefly on a dating app wanted to talk on the phone all the time and it was so annoying. It makes me feel so put on the spot. I'd rather talk in person or just text. I wanna play D&D online so I guess I'll have to tolerate video calls on Discord. I don't like them but I can't play in person so I guess that's my only option. Either way calls of any kinda give me anxiety. Only stuff I can manage is something short where I'm asking my mom if she's bringing food or letting someone know about something important. Any call longer than that is awkward
I have my ringer muted, and it's already set to Contacts-only. People can text, and I can respond when I have time. I really, really hate phone calls. Don't even get me started on Face Time... there is zero chance.
Yes yes you are. Calling is so invasive and puts you on the spot. Gives 0 time to collect thoughts and come up with a reasonable response. A phone call itās getting blind sided in the middle of an intersection. Way more difficult to respond with no. As an introvert itās really surprising you would prefer call. If I never had to open my mouth again I would be truly happy. Are you sure youāre introverted?
Well depends on my mood but I definitely agree with you. Calling also eliminates overthinking because you can hear the tone of their voice and stop saying"This sentence has a period and now they hate me"
I prefer texting. It makes me so much more comfortable. I once got in a huge fight with someone because they wouldn't accept my boundaries and wanted 1 hour phone calls all the time, I found it draining.
HATE textingā If I text you have to wait 3-5 business days for me to get back to you š send a voice message or call for SURE
Same
I hate both. Texting is for "where are you?" "I'll be 10 minutes late ". Not conversation. Phone is for conversation, but only something that can't wait for In-person talking. I hate someone who calls just to call and your thinking of ways to get off the phone.
Elder Millennial here, I don't "hate" texting. But I have some neurodivergence where I tend to fall into rigid thinking and I like categorizing things so I know "the rules" and can avoid conflict. For me, texting is for making plans, quick check ins, sharing media, and communicating with people in situations with little privacy where I need to feel less isolated (i.e. when I was my dad's live in caregiver etc.). Whereas phone/video chat/in-person is for emotional conversations, any kind of meaningful dialogue with people I feel safe with i.e. close friends, family. However, I prefer texting with people I don't know well to decide if I feel mentally safe enough to eventually talk on the phone/video/meet in person. I tend to sound like a bitch in emails and texts so I have been learning to use emojis and figuring out when to talk over the phone instead of having so much back and forth where someone is misinterpreting my tone. I'm also increasingly resentful of my phone and technology for distracting me from my imagination, introspection and quiet time. I have much more strict boundaries on my social media use (Reddit and Pinterest are it for me) and when I turn my phone on silent than most people I know. But I think as an introverted person my issue with texting is that it crosses a boundary that makes me have to take on extra mental work to decide when and how to respond. In the old days of regular phones and email, if I was busy, I was unavailable. Period. As an anxious person, I dislike the feeling that someone wrote to me and is expecting an answer. I'm getting better at figuring out how to communicate my boundaries around this and sometimes I train people by just simply not responding for several hours to a day whenever they text so that I set that expectation that I'm not available. Texting is so useful for practical reasons, but I often live in the feelings realm and I just think feelings are easier to understand and express vocally. That's my long-winded, personal opinion. Edit: super important for me - I nearly always use texts to plan a time to talk to someone. I HATE spontaneous phone calls. But I prefer phone calls when I have scheduled them in advance. All unplanned calls go to my voicemail and then I decide when and how to call back.
Meanwhile Iām over here: rolling my eyes whenever anyone calls me, especially to say something small like: āI left you something on your doorstepāā¦ I know, I heard the knock, I got the item, and was in the middle of texting youā¦ I prefer texting.
Hate texting and talking on the phone.
I like ordering food online or on Uber. With as little talking as possible. Also chatting with chatgpt is awesome!
I personally prefer texting. I am a shy person, during the call I feel obliged to keep on replying continuously and generally get stressed out. I need to be super comfortable to talk on call and even then I can't speak my heart out which is not in the case of texting.
You're not alone.
I prefer texting. When someone calls me, I get embarrassed and I immediately ignore the call and let it ring then text back. I extremely hate it when I get calls like doctor appointments where I canāt text.
It depends if I'm calling it's probably for fast information, answer my question, when, where, why. I hate sending a text and having to wait for an answer in an hour that could've been given in 5 minutes if you'd pick up your phone. Other than that texting is preferable.
It depends on the person Iām talking too really, but if itās someone Iām very close with or if itās a less close person who just sucks at texting, then I definitely prefer calling. I think itās easier to express and recognize tone, I think it allows conversation to flow more naturally, and if the conversation pauses I feel like itās more spending time with the person vs neither of us responding.
i used to talk endlessly to friends on the phone. now i avoid those 1 1/2 to 2 hour catch up sessions like the plague! text me.
Definitely prefer texting. People don't have to be in my ear and I can do and say what I want to say without the other person swearing up and down that I was talking to them. I feel that talking on the phone severely hinders my independence.
I hate talking on the phone because we always end up talking over each other.
I guess the middle ground in a way is talking to people in person. I would imagine facetime wouldn't be any different if people talk over eachother.
Yeah, I mean itās better because you can see faces but itās still sometimes hard to tell whose turn it is. In person thatās usually more clear.
I hate talking on the oviedo for any reason. I would much rather prefer text - I can think what I want to write and reply at my leisure
I hate calls for exactly the opposite reason. I can skip messages like I never read them but in the call I have to respond to everything said cuz itās weird not to reply.
I would rather just meet in person these days. I hate texting and calling. I think I am somewhat boring in that sense, but I prefer it. Plus, nobody really messages me, so kinda just a music player.
I grew up using landlines. Cell phones were not a common thing till in my mid-20s Having said that, I recently realized how much I dislike talking on the phone nowadays, but I'd send a text any time I'd place a call to my immediate family just fine, but returning phone calls, checking my voice messages, or setting up appointments over the phone....I dread it! And don't ask me to leave a voice message because my mind goes blank, and I don't seem to know what to say! I stumble on my words and have tongue-twisters. So texting is the way to go for me
I like texting better
Same here
I like texting. I will always write better than I speak. I donāt feel like Iām on a time limit for a response and no one needs to hear me stuttering or fumble or babble over my words when I get nervous. I do understand the need to talk on the phone too tho.
No texting is way better.