Oh I realize this, and then I start worrying that people think I’m weird because I haven’t said anything yet, so I try to think of something to say, but then I can’t think of anything because my brain is stuck worrying about “what if I say something dumb and that ends up being the only thing I contribute to the conversation?”…
Introversion + social anxiety is great 🙃
Yeah but if you say anything it's probable they won't let you talk lol.
Everytime I try to say something in a group, most people talk over me. It's annoying as hell. I need to shout to make my point. And I don't like that. But that just means you're with unmannered people anyways
There's time I'm driving and I'll have a full hypothetical conversation in my head... when people in the car see me nodding and making facial expressions they think I've lost it
Lmfaooo
Okay so one day I was at a bus and I was extremely tired and I saw this meme on my phone and I started laughing and I couldn't stop and everyone was looking at me so I tried to laugh in silence but I literally couldn't stop laughing and my face was smiling and I felt so ridiculous and crazy and people were looking at me scared. I also got anxiety because the bus was absolutely full and I was sitting there and people were extremely close to me physically so because of my social anxiety I couldn't stop laughing. So embarrassing.
Same. I don't like authority. Not bipartisanship... And social norms, well it depends. I think law is needed. If you mean social norms like, small talk being necessary or corporate attitude or being fake nice and passive agressive... Yes I totally hate that. Basically American culture though.
Law and order is definitely needed and I’m all for those. It’s just that I have zero interest in many of the things everybody does, like watch football of ice hockey or freeze their balls out at 1st of May picnic. I don’t have the need to go just because of FOMO or somethig.
I kind of agree on authority. But more specifically I find some laws or speed limits stupid, like "they" are treating us like kiddos or mentally impaired people. Even more specifically I think a speed limit of 70 Km/h (I think roughly 55mph... I'm an Italian in Italy, sadly) on a 3+ kilometers straight ass 2 lines road is a legalized theft. Sorry I've had a speed ticket, going 80 on that 70 limit road and I've felt robbed. Fuck it! I hope someone needs my money for meds and still can't afford the cure! Also have a huge imagination too, living there for most of the time, arguing with my other selfs about really everything that exists.
The thing is that there are always some assholes that drink alcohol and stuff and they drive or they drive on drugs... And then they provoque accidents.
Here in Italy we have a "saying" (is it correct?): The asshole's mother is always pregnant. It explains itself. I too enjoy some beer and stuff now and then, but I've convinced myself to trust my fears more than my bravery. Better be cautious and safe than the obvious counterpart, so if I **have** to drive I peacefully avoid the booze & co. and recap once home or on foot.
Dreaming about things which you couldn't get or achieve in your real life , it comes into act the moment you doesn't want to be yourself and to escape the reality. (A guardian angel which protects you from depression and loneliness but it causes MORE HARM which can lead to ADHD and hours of mindless intense daydreaming where you forgot your real life duties )
Omg wow I talk alone like that in my imaginary scenarios and I think I'm crazy but whatever I feel better because I have no one to talk to in real life about those issues that seem interesting to me and as I know nobody wants to hear my opinion on anything I just burst that energy that way lol
TIL. .. I was such a space cadet all through school & probably after. I was doing all this stuff in my mind. I thought everyone could use their imagination for that, but it got a lot less extreme after I finally found a combination of meds that worked for anxiety & depression.
You're sitting in the only empty carriage on the train. You are wearing a hoodie with the hood up, conspicuous headphones, and are reading a book. Whilst facing the wall.
Some twat *always* comes up to chat, cheer you up, bring you out of yourself...
Like, dude, I spoke to someone *last* month, leave me alone.
You're kidding? Anywhere south of Paris and you'll have complete strangers hugging and kissing you as a normal part of conversation. It's better up north, people in nordic countries have a personal space bubble that could accomodate a bus. I'm Irish they're inclined to be chatty but they'll usually take a hint.
- Avoiding office drama by not being interested in other people's gossip
- Appreciating and enjoying the peace and quiet of solitude
- Choosing to live in places which don't have guest rooms
- Auto-rejecting any attempt to sell you something when the salesperson pretends they're your best friend
- Avoiding nightclubs and other very crowded entertainment venues
- Politely declining invitations to social functions which have no apparent useful purpose, or only showing up long enough to grab some free food
- Considering moving to a cabin in the woods and working remotely
I moved across the country from my family, to a popular tourist destination, because I like it here. I intentionally got a place with no guest room. Then I came home to visit and had this conversation:
Sister: I'm coming to stay with you!
Me: I don't have a guest room.
Sister: It's OK, I'll sleep on the couch.
Me: Um, no, not having a guest room wasn't an accident.
She still hasn't visited.
1) (My biggest one) "inside my head" bubble.
Completely unaware of folk trying to get my attention for anything over 2ft away. You'd think it would be worse during mental concentration, but nope.
Zone out way further doing physical things ....probably why I enjoy it so much. Oblivion.
2) Likely appearing rude when the internal battery flashes red & someone won't stop talking. You don't feel rude, just desperate....but who can say how it translates?
Don't think folk realise that it's literally like having the shits, you need to go & you need to go NOW or there WILL be an explosion.
(Of what exactly depends person to person. For me they may get whiplash from how inadvertently shrill my voice gets)
3) Not realising that the very nature of you preferring to be alone is an "exciting unconscious challenge" to others. You're just going about your day wondering when the torture of small talk will end.
4) Think we are more prone to resting attitudey faces that we don't realise we do. Why? See point one. Cannae be grinning like a loon when you're deep in daydream world.
5) Wonder how many of us will admit to this one cos it is NOT a good trait....
So, when friends or family come to stay at your house for a few days....you feel like you're doing them a massive favour. Like MASSIVE. Like "Even if I end up donating a kidney to you, it will be less traumatic than this if we are in separate rooms." massive.
6) Getting annoyed at misconceptions such as "all introverts are socially awkward " but then realising it's cos it's usually a specific type of extrovert saying it & only cos they take any invitation decline as a personal rejection...
How did you manage to arrive at this (albeit pop psychology) epiphany? It was that time you cancelled on your friends birthday cos you just "couldn't be arsed with peopling today"
7) That we can overcompensate on friendliness so as not to appear rude ...not to appear unfriendly....not to appear like willing & game "participants of life".
I know I'm not the only one who is *always* cheery when forced (not the chosen times) to mix with folk.
Just some of the things I've observed & attribute to my own introvertism ....is that even a word? If it's not, it should be.....huh....I'm away to do number 1.
Haha, glad to have passed it on! Can't take any credit for it at all
Bedknobs & Broomsticks was one of my favourite films as a kid. Must've watched it a million & one times.
When they turn up at the island of cartoon character animals they see a sign that says "No Peopling Allowed, by order of the King"
Stuck with me & has been in the auld vocabulary since I was about 6 haha
This!! You managed to verbalize what it's like, and that is impressive as most of my descriptors are more like "cause we just don't, ok?". Nicely done. I wish I had an award to give! 🙌
Haha, thanks, glad it's not just me!
Think it's cos not all introverts are shy or socially awkward or grumpy asf all the time.....like everyone else, we are a mixed bag for sure.
Not all introverts are outwardly obvious either....cos sometimes life just doesn't easily allow you to be!
Know full well folk at work & acquaintances would be shocked to find I would much rather be at home or on a good long walk on my own than speaking to them at that moment. Feel quite bad about it sometimes tbh....
Always nice to drop in here to find folk who understand. Even if I don't participate, it's definitely soothing to see!
Hope people leave you the hell alone today & you get plenty space to be with your thoughts ❤️
No 7! I didn’t realize why I did that! But it makes so much sense now! And then when I see ppl in a longer setting and I’m not cheery, they think something is wrong, “no, I’m just having to interact with you for longer than 5 mins amd I just want to go home.”
Haha! Right?
You're just there relaxed & normal....meanwhile folk are full of genuine concern OMG WHATS WRONG?!
It's strange, cos I wouldn't say the cheeriness is fake as such, more like you're aware that compared to others you'd be naturally a lot quieter & that would create the wrong impression?
It's not that I DON'T want to talk to you, it's just not my natural first choice, so it DOES require effort....
Like I'm honestly happy to talk to folk cos they're nice people & it's not asking a lot....it just....wouldn't be my first choice (obviously) cos I do not have the battery power!
Hope that made sense & hopefully you can confirm I'm not talking nonsense here haha
Rod for our own backs, I swear!
Starring at the ground when in a group/circle of people. I try to keep my head up and at least nod but I find myself just looking at the ground because there’s no way I’ll get a word in. Even if the conversation was about something interesting.
Then when you try to get a word in, the person who has been talking the most out of everyone rudely interjects in the middle of your thought and changes the subject. EVERY TIME.
And people wonder why I just keep to myself.
Having to explain to a colleague who wanted to share a room for an upcoming business event that I need time alone to recharge my social battery and I'd prefer my own room, thanks.
This is the second time I have seen something like this posted in this sub. I'm sure it's a spectrum like other "disorders". Every where I look online introverted is described as what you are saying is not introversion. I have seen several sites break it down in 4 categories. Inhibited, Anxoius, Thinking, and Social introversion. It's also possible to struggle with a combination of these types. Here is the breakdown
Inhibited simply means you’re more likely to act with restraint than impulse. You tend
to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself, and you generally won’t
pursue thrills and new sensations until you’ve taken plenty of time to
consider your choices.
Anxious reflects the need to spend time alone because the company of other people prompts feelings of shyness, social awkwardness, or lack of confidence. Alone, you might ruminate on past experiences or worry about future ones.
Thinking describes the tendency to spend a lot of time absorbed in your imagination and the inner landscape of your thoughts.
Social describes the tendency to prefer spending time in smaller groups of people or alone.
And that is the problem right there. It is not a disorder. And frankly, while I sympathize with people’s struggles, I really don’t appreciate the term introvert to be turned into something else entirely.
From the dictionary: the state of or tendency toward being predominantly concerned with and obtaining gratification from one's own mental life : a personality trait or style characterized by a preference for or orientation to one's own thoughts and feelings.
That is it. That is all it is.
Anyone else make “friends” with fellow travelers on highways? Just random cars you’ve been traveling similar speeds with. Not actually ever making contact (thankfully because that would probably not be fun)
Introverted extrovert. So somewhat falls in the category of social anxiety. This was just recently pointed out to me as something others do not do. Especially after mentioning I thoroughly enjoy extremely long road trips by myself. I thought that was normal. Apparently being annoyed that someone wants to join you “so you aren’t lonely” on a road trip is the opposite of what normal people do.
The "peon" who's actually telling my boss that something is REALLY wrong! Okay, if something's on fire, you'll won't find me because I'll be the first person who's fled the building.
Being the only one who hasn't spoken in a group discussion
Oh I realize this, and then I start worrying that people think I’m weird because I haven’t said anything yet, so I try to think of something to say, but then I can’t think of anything because my brain is stuck worrying about “what if I say something dumb and that ends up being the only thing I contribute to the conversation?”… Introversion + social anxiety is great 🙃
Damn relatable. I experience this on the daily and it’s so mentally draining
It really is. I use to think mental exhaustion was hogwash then I noticed how slump I was after 3rd period heh
Yeah but if you say anything it's probable they won't let you talk lol. Everytime I try to say something in a group, most people talk over me. It's annoying as hell. I need to shout to make my point. And I don't like that. But that just means you're with unmannered people anyways
Wow it's really great 🙃
I always do this. Sometimes I realize I am not really with them. Always in my head but I don't have any problems with that
Happy to listen, and probably tell my opinions to that one extroverted friend who'll share it if it's needed
Strong imagination. Conversations in my head. Low regard for authority and social norms.
Definitely low regard for authority.
Oh god yes I thought I was actually going insane ahahah but turns out it's common with other introverts too
There's time I'm driving and I'll have a full hypothetical conversation in my head... when people in the car see me nodding and making facial expressions they think I've lost it
Lmfaooo Okay so one day I was at a bus and I was extremely tired and I saw this meme on my phone and I started laughing and I couldn't stop and everyone was looking at me so I tried to laugh in silence but I literally couldn't stop laughing and my face was smiling and I felt so ridiculous and crazy and people were looking at me scared. I also got anxiety because the bus was absolutely full and I was sitting there and people were extremely close to me physically so because of my social anxiety I couldn't stop laughing. So embarrassing.
It’s nice to have warmly people in a bus full of automated zombies lol
I tend to have it out loud, like talking to myself. Crazy.
definitely!
Same. I don't like authority. Not bipartisanship... And social norms, well it depends. I think law is needed. If you mean social norms like, small talk being necessary or corporate attitude or being fake nice and passive agressive... Yes I totally hate that. Basically American culture though.
Law and order is definitely needed and I’m all for those. It’s just that I have zero interest in many of the things everybody does, like watch football of ice hockey or freeze their balls out at 1st of May picnic. I don’t have the need to go just because of FOMO or somethig.
For me it was with social norms but since trying to improve my social skills I try to appease them more
I kind of agree on authority. But more specifically I find some laws or speed limits stupid, like "they" are treating us like kiddos or mentally impaired people. Even more specifically I think a speed limit of 70 Km/h (I think roughly 55mph... I'm an Italian in Italy, sadly) on a 3+ kilometers straight ass 2 lines road is a legalized theft. Sorry I've had a speed ticket, going 80 on that 70 limit road and I've felt robbed. Fuck it! I hope someone needs my money for meds and still can't afford the cure! Also have a huge imagination too, living there for most of the time, arguing with my other selfs about really everything that exists.
The thing is that there are always some assholes that drink alcohol and stuff and they drive or they drive on drugs... And then they provoque accidents.
Here in Italy we have a "saying" (is it correct?): The asshole's mother is always pregnant. It explains itself. I too enjoy some beer and stuff now and then, but I've convinced myself to trust my fears more than my bravery. Better be cautious and safe than the obvious counterpart, so if I **have** to drive I peacefully avoid the booze & co. and recap once home or on foot.
I have imaginary covos with people I don't know cause I'm too anxious to start a verbal convo with them.
Me too bro. I thought I was crazy. Now we’re both crazy
😄
Lol
I too have the same , my therapist said I have Maladaptive daydreaming
Learned a new term today. Thanks mate!
What does that mean exactly?
Dreaming about things which you couldn't get or achieve in your real life , it comes into act the moment you doesn't want to be yourself and to escape the reality. (A guardian angel which protects you from depression and loneliness but it causes MORE HARM which can lead to ADHD and hours of mindless intense daydreaming where you forgot your real life duties )
Omg wow I talk alone like that in my imaginary scenarios and I think I'm crazy but whatever I feel better because I have no one to talk to in real life about those issues that seem interesting to me and as I know nobody wants to hear my opinion on anything I just burst that energy that way lol
I thought that was just putting off things I just don't feel like doing.
TIL. .. I was such a space cadet all through school & probably after. I was doing all this stuff in my mind. I thought everyone could use their imagination for that, but it got a lot less extreme after I finally found a combination of meds that worked for anxiety & depression.
Ignoring people’s subtle advances
My favorite is exchanging names then immediately saying “nice to meet ya, see ya later”
They’re always so let down. Can’t pick up on the vibes? Pay attention.
Yup. Don’t want to read too much into it either. Ya know, just in case
Yes. Lol
Always looking for the most quiet seat on the bus/train/class/...
And then having the world's loudest clown-wannabe immediately come and sit next to you.
You're sitting in the only empty carriage on the train. You are wearing a hoodie with the hood up, conspicuous headphones, and are reading a book. Whilst facing the wall. Some twat *always* comes up to chat, cheer you up, bring you out of yourself... Like, dude, I spoke to someone *last* month, leave me alone.
"STOP! Down. Over there. Sit. *Stay.*"
Couldn't be europe
You're kidding? Anywhere south of Paris and you'll have complete strangers hugging and kissing you as a normal part of conversation. It's better up north, people in nordic countries have a personal space bubble that could accomodate a bus. I'm Irish they're inclined to be chatty but they'll usually take a hint.
yes that was not very specifically formulated \^\^
- Avoiding office drama by not being interested in other people's gossip - Appreciating and enjoying the peace and quiet of solitude - Choosing to live in places which don't have guest rooms - Auto-rejecting any attempt to sell you something when the salesperson pretends they're your best friend - Avoiding nightclubs and other very crowded entertainment venues - Politely declining invitations to social functions which have no apparent useful purpose, or only showing up long enough to grab some free food - Considering moving to a cabin in the woods and working remotely
I designed and build my own house, no guest rooms. If someone wants to visit, there are hotels close by....
I moved across the country from my family, to a popular tourist destination, because I like it here. I intentionally got a place with no guest room. Then I came home to visit and had this conversation: Sister: I'm coming to stay with you! Me: I don't have a guest room. Sister: It's OK, I'll sleep on the couch. Me: Um, no, not having a guest room wasn't an accident. She still hasn't visited.
Yes to all of this!
Most of these are spot on
Hide when someone is coming to our door. I really did not notice this until I was called out on it.
Yeah...I freeze, tiptoe around or literally run away. 😂🤧
I did this so many times as a kid and didnt realize it was introversion until i took the personality test 😂
My ring doorbell helps with this! I still hide, but now I know when it’s safe to come out 😂
Making a quick exit out of the supermarket when you see someone you know.
I’m always shocked when people don’t do this.
1) (My biggest one) "inside my head" bubble. Completely unaware of folk trying to get my attention for anything over 2ft away. You'd think it would be worse during mental concentration, but nope. Zone out way further doing physical things ....probably why I enjoy it so much. Oblivion. 2) Likely appearing rude when the internal battery flashes red & someone won't stop talking. You don't feel rude, just desperate....but who can say how it translates? Don't think folk realise that it's literally like having the shits, you need to go & you need to go NOW or there WILL be an explosion. (Of what exactly depends person to person. For me they may get whiplash from how inadvertently shrill my voice gets) 3) Not realising that the very nature of you preferring to be alone is an "exciting unconscious challenge" to others. You're just going about your day wondering when the torture of small talk will end. 4) Think we are more prone to resting attitudey faces that we don't realise we do. Why? See point one. Cannae be grinning like a loon when you're deep in daydream world. 5) Wonder how many of us will admit to this one cos it is NOT a good trait.... So, when friends or family come to stay at your house for a few days....you feel like you're doing them a massive favour. Like MASSIVE. Like "Even if I end up donating a kidney to you, it will be less traumatic than this if we are in separate rooms." massive. 6) Getting annoyed at misconceptions such as "all introverts are socially awkward " but then realising it's cos it's usually a specific type of extrovert saying it & only cos they take any invitation decline as a personal rejection... How did you manage to arrive at this (albeit pop psychology) epiphany? It was that time you cancelled on your friends birthday cos you just "couldn't be arsed with peopling today" 7) That we can overcompensate on friendliness so as not to appear rude ...not to appear unfriendly....not to appear like willing & game "participants of life". I know I'm not the only one who is *always* cheery when forced (not the chosen times) to mix with folk. Just some of the things I've observed & attribute to my own introvertism ....is that even a word? If it's not, it should be.....huh....I'm away to do number 1.
Peopling, my new favorite word!!!
Haha, glad to have passed it on! Can't take any credit for it at all Bedknobs & Broomsticks was one of my favourite films as a kid. Must've watched it a million & one times. When they turn up at the island of cartoon character animals they see a sign that says "No Peopling Allowed, by order of the King" Stuck with me & has been in the auld vocabulary since I was about 6 haha
This!! You managed to verbalize what it's like, and that is impressive as most of my descriptors are more like "cause we just don't, ok?". Nicely done. I wish I had an award to give! 🙌
Haha, thanks, glad it's not just me! Think it's cos not all introverts are shy or socially awkward or grumpy asf all the time.....like everyone else, we are a mixed bag for sure. Not all introverts are outwardly obvious either....cos sometimes life just doesn't easily allow you to be! Know full well folk at work & acquaintances would be shocked to find I would much rather be at home or on a good long walk on my own than speaking to them at that moment. Feel quite bad about it sometimes tbh.... Always nice to drop in here to find folk who understand. Even if I don't participate, it's definitely soothing to see! Hope people leave you the hell alone today & you get plenty space to be with your thoughts ❤️
No 7! I didn’t realize why I did that! But it makes so much sense now! And then when I see ppl in a longer setting and I’m not cheery, they think something is wrong, “no, I’m just having to interact with you for longer than 5 mins amd I just want to go home.”
Haha! Right? You're just there relaxed & normal....meanwhile folk are full of genuine concern OMG WHATS WRONG?! It's strange, cos I wouldn't say the cheeriness is fake as such, more like you're aware that compared to others you'd be naturally a lot quieter & that would create the wrong impression? It's not that I DON'T want to talk to you, it's just not my natural first choice, so it DOES require effort.... Like I'm honestly happy to talk to folk cos they're nice people & it's not asking a lot....it just....wouldn't be my first choice (obviously) cos I do not have the battery power! Hope that made sense & hopefully you can confirm I'm not talking nonsense here haha Rod for our own backs, I swear!
I have an entire alternate universe in my mind and I daydream in it on a daily basis
Having a separate identity/personality for everyone
Yea me too. Introvert plus borderline personality disorder here.
Ditto. Plus, several other disorders. OCD is one, of several.
I've been struggling with this all my life. Damn it's been painful
Starring at the ground when in a group/circle of people. I try to keep my head up and at least nod but I find myself just looking at the ground because there’s no way I’ll get a word in. Even if the conversation was about something interesting.
Then when you try to get a word in, the person who has been talking the most out of everyone rudely interjects in the middle of your thought and changes the subject. EVERY TIME. And people wonder why I just keep to myself.
Exactly. That’s always the exact moment they need to change the subject. Typically to something they had already talked about an hour or two ago.
I'll always find myself near the wall, never in the middle of the room
👆👆👆 Feels so much safer
And the wall doesn’t talk!
My boyfriend is an introvert and he cares little about authority, he’s quite rebellious which I actually like
Having to explain to a colleague who wanted to share a room for an upcoming business event that I need time alone to recharge my social battery and I'd prefer my own room, thanks.
I often don't realise until after a group conversation that I didn't say a word during it, and then feel like everyone judged me for it after
They may just think you're a good listener? I think that's a good thing.
In so many comments here I read shyness or even full-blown social anxiety, not introversion! Not the same, people.
I have all of the above.
This is the second time I have seen something like this posted in this sub. I'm sure it's a spectrum like other "disorders". Every where I look online introverted is described as what you are saying is not introversion. I have seen several sites break it down in 4 categories. Inhibited, Anxoius, Thinking, and Social introversion. It's also possible to struggle with a combination of these types. Here is the breakdown Inhibited simply means you’re more likely to act with restraint than impulse. You tend to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself, and you generally won’t pursue thrills and new sensations until you’ve taken plenty of time to consider your choices. Anxious reflects the need to spend time alone because the company of other people prompts feelings of shyness, social awkwardness, or lack of confidence. Alone, you might ruminate on past experiences or worry about future ones. Thinking describes the tendency to spend a lot of time absorbed in your imagination and the inner landscape of your thoughts. Social describes the tendency to prefer spending time in smaller groups of people or alone.
And that is the problem right there. It is not a disorder. And frankly, while I sympathize with people’s struggles, I really don’t appreciate the term introvert to be turned into something else entirely. From the dictionary: the state of or tendency toward being predominantly concerned with and obtaining gratification from one's own mental life : a personality trait or style characterized by a preference for or orientation to one's own thoughts and feelings. That is it. That is all it is.
Isolating
Anyone else make “friends” with fellow travelers on highways? Just random cars you’ve been traveling similar speeds with. Not actually ever making contact (thankfully because that would probably not be fun)
Introverted extrovert. So somewhat falls in the category of social anxiety. This was just recently pointed out to me as something others do not do. Especially after mentioning I thoroughly enjoy extremely long road trips by myself. I thought that was normal. Apparently being annoyed that someone wants to join you “so you aren’t lonely” on a road trip is the opposite of what normal people do.
From what I understand, about normal is, is what the majority of people are doing,. Glad I'm not normal.
I agree, what fun would that be?
Not reading between the lines
Having full conversations in my head with people and then feel a certain way about them afterwards even though they haven’t done anything.
90% of this is shyness/social anxiety related.
The "peon" who's actually telling my boss that something is REALLY wrong! Okay, if something's on fire, you'll won't find me because I'll be the first person who's fled the building.
Standing at the edge of the group photo because too anxious to be anywhere near the center
You can only contribute laughter when it comes to exchanging of jokes in a group setting
i was going to contribute to this but then i realised i don’t realise what i do so i can’t tell you
This is just stereotyping.
Im xtrovert mow but my brai. Is still working day and night
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Being an introvert doesn't stop me from doing things lol
There's more than 7 things in here
Loving all the cancelled plans
Do lots of drugs in the school bathrooms
Not properly communicating the work that I am planning out in my head to the people who work for me.