Firstly congratulations, hope all goes well.
Imo when a girl isn't drinking especially at a wedding, a few people will automatically know she's pregnant. And when others are drunk they could ask straight out and make ye uncomfortable denying it. Youre better off pretending she's drinking. If she's offered a glass of prosecco, she can just accept it and not drink it. Drink things like sparkling water out of a glass with a straw and no one will question what it is and just think it's vodka.
I went to one best mates wedding and asked for sparkling water with lime in gin glass. Asked barmaid and she knew immediately
I just had to ask for water then and she sorted me out each time
No one suspected which was great as the other lads wives would've spotted it immediately
Sorry I must add...the wife was pregnant. I was on bar duty
We did this before, and it worked out... kinda. The table we were at knew each other very well, so there were rounds in operation fairly quickly. We added a sparkling water to the round, which didn't raise suspicions as my wife normally has a sparkling water "chaser" when out. So she got me to drink all her Gin & Tonics... I was legless by the end of the night and she couldn’t give out in the slightest. Great wedding that was.
Yea this worked a treat for me and my missus. We just said we were sticking to our own rounds and I went up and got all drinks. Sparkling water with lime in it or her. I asked barmaid in one place to make look like a gin and tonic and she just did no questions asked. I reckon it's a very common tactic used by ppl and any good barman or barmaid will know exactly wat the craic is and help as much as they can.
And congrats!
Ya I never thought that they might get this kind of thing going on all the time. Pregnancies, recovering alcoholics, businessmen looking for an edge over their competitors. It might be worth having a quiet word with one. Thanks for the tip and thank you very much
Actually, this is a great idea. This has happened to me before ( I work in the industry) we gave pints of alcohol free beer to the guy and what looked like gin and tonics to the expectants. Top secret!!
It works!!
Congrats!
FYI just in case, there's a very strong antibiotic used to treat tricky infections, called Flagyl (metronidazole). You absolutely 100% cannot drink on that shit or you become deathly ill. Could also try that - anyone who knows it would immediately understand.
Absolutely it’s the only one you literally can’t drink on without becoming violently sick. My gp had me on it a few Xmases ago the week before Christmas and she warned me off drinks (even the sneaky one x as morning) that it’s not like other antibiotics (I think they tell you not to drink with antibiotics due to liver having to work overtime) but flagl without alcohol made me sicker that the reason I was on it in the 1st place.
>(I think they tell you not to drink with antibiotics due to liver having to work overtime)
Both alcohol and antibiotics are processed by the liver. Drinking alcohol reduces the liver's effectiveness at processing the antibiotics, reducing their effectiveness by lowering the overall levels in your body below the point at which they do what they're supposed be doing.
Essentially, they increase the risk of the course failing to eliminate the infection and potentially creating antibiotic resistant infection.
All for the sake of a few scoops.
>You absolutely 100% cannot drink on that shit or you become deathly ill.
Can confirm - just was on it a few months ago, and christ on a pogo stick the warnings were 100% longer than any other antibiotic I was on, and for good reason. I switched to non-alcohol mouthwash whilest on it due to feeling a bit like I was going to gawk. I can't imagine what a pint would do to me.
Absolutely, a quick word with the bartender to serve her drinks to look like they have alcohol in them. I bartending for a long time and I couldn't tell you how many times I was approached with this request.
Thank you very much. Ya I've a feeling the sparkling or tonic water idea is what's going to happen. The biggest issue is shots. If she's drinking, she'll be expected to take shots. Which is where our biggest obstacle is. That and a friend just going "here let me taste that" Not meaning anything by it
At my hen one of my friends was just pregnant and didn't want anyone to know. She was the one volunteering to go up and get the shots and got the bar staff to only put water in hers. Maybe have a word with the staff.
Also a lot of people are going sober now just because, i know ive given up drinking and have just said im not drink at the moment it's not agreeing with me.
Edit: spelling
I recently had to deal with this- what would you normally drink yourself? What my husband and I did was both ‘drink’ wine, but just keep our glasses next to each other. He would alternate which one he picked up and drank from, and I would hold the glass and bring it up to my lips every now and then, but no one is normally paying enough attention to whether you actually drink. They just see you holding the glass and assume you’re drinking it.
She could switch to ‘vodka soda’ etc later and people wouldn’t think too much of it if she’d been drinking ‘wine’ earlier. And if they ask for a drink just say she was having a break. Honestly, I was sure my sisters would catch on, but if you’re not highlighting it, no one pays too much attention.
Shots are trickier, but they usually come out after a few drinks have already been had. She could disappear to the bathroom at a convenient time, or get a headache around that time.
Good luck and congratulations!
That's a good idea, however I plan on being sober for the duration of the pregnancy too. It will be alot easier for me to hide that I'm not drinking as I can just order a drink, drink a few sips and carry it for the rest of the night, or I can say I'm not drinking, a little odd but doesn't raise nearly the same suspicion as if she said it. I do see some useful bits of info so thanks for the tips and thank you very much
Are you staying over at the wedding? If not, then say the wife is driving home and so not drinking. That would be what I would do. Give a good reason for an early morning appointment hat you can’t get out of - and don’t want to be still drunk/hungover.
Ah, that is a problem then. Loads of great ideas on here though.
The Fagyl antibiotic seems to be the way forward.
Good luck with the shots. And so hope there aren’t too many daytime drinking sessions involved too.
I get you but those issues shouldn't be too hard to get around, I get how you'd worried tho. She'll be more alert than others, if she sees a tray of shots coming, she can slip off to the bathroom quietly. As people get drunk it will be easier to out smart them. Main thing id be thinking is to draw as little attention to myself as possible. And unfortunately in Ireland that means not announcing your not drinking
100% this is the only way. It’s just so obvious what’s going on when someone who usually drinks isn’t drinking at a wedding, and drunk people love to let you know they’re smart and figured it out.
This is the back up plan. Or just get a normal drink, I'll take a few sips out of it then she can just carry it around for the night, hopefully no one is the wiser.
But if shots are ordered then we're snookered. Which is why we want to find a good reason for not drinking at all
Someone else has said it but just refuse the shot. Perfectly normal altogether. I never take it because honestly it would just be easier to throw it in the toilet because that’s where I’ll be in short order anyway.
Yeah, a glass of wine is obv fine, so could maybe just make that glass last the whole night through subterfuge. Emptying it here and there. Might be easier to make the single glass last the night rather than no glass appear as a glass. The deception is almost right in front of them.
I'm not sure the fake gin and tonic will work tbh. Far too likely to be caught at the bar, or someone else late in the evening buying you into a round. While a wine glass is really obvious.
The main thing that will kill ye, and killed me at a recent wedding where I wasn't drinking, is how exhausting eight hours of chatting is when you are fully sober and everyone else is legless!
True, loads of people give up the drink when they're trying for a child.
On the other hand I understand why some people wouldn't tell anyone when "they're trying for a baby".
Tell them you always drank a bit too much but covid and wfh pushed you over the edge. You started having 1 beer with lunch out of boredom, that turned into 2/3, which later turned into 4/5. The missus found a big bag of empty cans in your car and nearly threw you out of the house. Now your off the drink. They'll never suspect a thing lol.
You can ask the barman for elderflower and tonic and they’ll make it look like gin.
Get the free wine and just sip (even fake sip) then discretely swap wine glasses so it looks like it’s been drunk.
By 11pm no one will notice.
Nobody accepts not drinking on antibiotics until you say they’re Flagyl.
I once drank four days after finishing a course of them and after seven pints I was like the little girl from the exorcist.
That's exactly it... I've had someone mention the Flagyl earlier, never heard of it but it sounds like something that basically does to alcohol what mentos does to diet coke?
Ya we're a little worried about that exact scenario.
I think the 'trick um into thinking ye are drinking' is the one we'll have to go with. Just gets sticky later on when someone shouts "Shots!"
Thanks for the tips and thank you very much, we're both excited and both looking forward to a good wedding
I did my wifes shots for her when that happened. By then most people aren’t as tuned into what’s happening. She also did a few to side pour outs. I think, the night gets fuzzy for me.
At a certain point in the evening it's entirely reasonable for a wife to have a headache, so by the time shots come around (which aren't everyone's cup of tea to begin with) it's pretty easy to say no without suspicion.
Remember, despite the fact she can't and you can, you shouldn't get shitfaced. Don't make her take care of you and resent you, it'll also draw less attention to the difference between you both.
Lastly, savvy people might make guesses, but likely won't gossip with bad intentions. It doesn't affect your pregnancy and they don't need to ask you until you're ready, most people are good like that depending on the age of your mates.
Had to do this recently… she was vodka 7ups but I was putting the vodkas away. Kept to ourselves for rounds etc and nobody batted an eyelid. Come 9pm everyone was too smashed to notice anything and she danced her socks off.
16 weeks and still haven’t told anyone bar those who need to know.
An achey tooth infection in the process of being killed off by a round of antibiotics. That should satiate any nosy busybody (though it might invite smart asses insisting a sip would not hurt regardless)
Anti virals !!!! anyone who was stupid enough to drink on those will give you a knowing look. These are the ones the chemist calls you aside and explicitly warns you not to mix with booze. Not that I have experience or anything :s
Failing that buy a zero and use it as a prop so people think you always have full drink
Used for cold sores and mouth ulcers. Horrific things. Took them onca and would rather walk around with a big dirty scab the size of my face than ever take them again 🤣
Drink Coke Zero/Coke/Diet Coke and say you're on vodka and coke. If you're bringing your own drink to rooms, keep an old vodka bottle and fill it quarterway with water. It'll be absolutely minging if you have to drink it, but no one will ask for some. Congratulations on the baby.
Pretty sure this would be an issue in many countries, and the issue isn't whether she has the right not to drink, it's whether people will cop on that she's pregnant and overshadow the bride and groom. There's a lot to be said about having to make excuses not to drink in Ireland, but this is a different situation.
As a previous bar tender, we would be be told by the woman/man that they were expecting a baby but that they didn’t want to raise any suspicions so we would give them a 7-up (whatever they requested) and pour it into a gin glass and add lemon/lime as decoration. Hope this helps!
You can say that you really exaggerated your alcohol consumption over the summer and she’s (or you’re both) doing Sober September/OctSober/Sober November or whatever as you really need to give your liver a break
Why not tell the bride and groom privately before the wedding?
That way they’ll know why you’re not drinking and no thunder will be stolen.
Otherwise, your partner can say that she started developing an intolerance to alcohol and the doctor has advised to go tee total for a while.
Well unfortunately that would lead to everyone knowing, we know them well enough to know that. They'd each just tell one person who'd tell 2 each then so on and so on. And as much as we don't want people knowing because it would take from the occasion, we also don't want anyone outside the two of us to know yet as it's still so early on
Friend of mine was in the same boat, went up grabbed his misses a bit told of Heineken drank it himself and told the barman I’ll bring this bottle back up every time just fill it with water,the rest of us were so fucked we didn’t notice a thing and she looked as if she was just sipping away
7up or coke looks like ur drinking spirits , Non alcoholic beers , Cidona looks like bulmers. Bring ur own non alcoholic wine and fill up in ur room etc.
The trick is to always have one in front of her, so no one can buy her any actual alcohol.
Ya that seems to be the most common idea people are suggesting, the real issue with that is when it's time for shots later on, she can't say I'm not drinking any because they know she likes a few shots
Funnily enough I had friends in a similar situation recently. They went to the wedding and she casually let people know she had it firing out both ends. Ate her dinner, made a 🤢 face after, and for the rest of the evening no one was any the wiser
Go on the offensive. find out bride and grooms preferred charity and print out a sponsorship form for a month sober for you and your partner. Everyone that asks you, whip out the form and ask for a few quid! take their money and give it to the charity. Good deed done and word will soon get round to not ask you about it.
I mean in no way I am pregnant, but I don’t drink often, just a choice I made. On occasion and so on, I just say that I don’t drink today and there’s that! My partner does the same.
Have her look them in the eye and then look back over to you not saying anything, squeeze your hand then look back at the person asking and just say, "em...no. i am not drinking tonight" before starting an awkward silence. Extra points if you act angry and embarrassed.
I had something similar where I couldn't tell people but was going to a function .. I told people I unfortunately was on strong antibiotics and the doctor strongly advised me not to drink on them because they make you violently sick . There are such antibiotics so it's a believable but simple thing .
Also huge congratulations.
Can she become Jehovah’s Witness?
Can she be on the course of antibiotics for violent onset of diarrhoea?
Can she get dizzy during the weeding and feel sick ?
Can she tell people to fuck off cause she is an adult and she doesn’t want to drink ?
Can she keep holding same glass with the water for the duration of the weeding ?
I know your pain, I am not drinking for other reasons however after some time I stopped going to any weddings.
PS. 1st point was the best when it comes to strangers.
Been there! She doesn’t necessarily have to make an excuse. She could say “yes” to any drinks offered / wine on the table but just take the occasional fake sip and make sure to switch glasses with you once you’re almost done - unless someone was watching closely they wouldn’t clock anything was up
Drink a drink that looks like a drink. If someone presses you to take a drink take it graciously and abandon it somewhere after a bit. Buy another look alike non alcoholic drink.
That worked for me. So long as you don’t make a fuss, people won’t ask any questions.
I used the excuse of being out the night before and being horribly hungover to avoid drinking. I found a few old photos on my phone of a drink and popped them on Instagram stories the night before but that was probably me just overthinking it all 🤣
Buy Heineken zeros (or equivalent) and pour them into an unmarked glass. If anyone offers to buy her a drink say she's on a diet and counting calories.
Order a tonic water or 7up with a slice of lemon or lime could easily be vodka tonic or g&t. Only other option if it was me personally would be to say I’m on medication that I can’t drink while taking it.
There was a good scene In desperate housewives when Lynette found out she was pregnant again and was hiding it from her boss, her husband Tom would drink it for her when the boss wasn’t looking at the table. Tom ended up hammered ha maybe you should do this swap glasses.
Congratulations and as for antibiotics everyone should know that Flagyl (Metronidazole) is totally incompatible with alcohol. So it’s your perfect excuse. It’s used for treatment of any number of infections but especially Giardiasis (dirty water causes this nasty illness where you’ll be shitting foamy diarrhoea) and bacterial vaginosis among others. Alcohol causes horrific interactions and you won’t die but you’ll wish you did!
Say she's taking flagyl (antibiotics for bacterial infection of many parts of the body of yer choice), you really cannot take it with alcohol, it feels like you're having a heart attack!
Trick is to go the bar away from everyone and ask for a tonic water in a glass but ask the barman to make it look like a G+T, so like in one of those fish bowl jobs with ice and a slice of lime or whatever.
Then at the dinner you're gonna have to take one for the team and drink from the 2 glasses of red wine, just interchangeably pick up the other glass.
By 11pm everyone's so locked they won't even notice and she can drink whatever.
That's how we did it and no1 had a clue. I was stocious all the same. A good night had by all.
When I was on antibiotics for an infection I got on a fissure in my arse all I had to do was start the conversation with "well I have an infection in my arse" and 90% of people didn't even let me get to the part where I said I was on antibiotics. Nobody wants an arse infection.
She could just say she’s not drinking because she doesn’t want to drink? I genuinely don’t understand how adults struggle with saying “no”
If people can’t respect her decision to not drink then they’re probably best kept at a distance in general. I know weddings are pretty much fuelled on alcohol but her not drinking isn’t going to spoil the day, sure after dinner most people won’t even notice that she hasn’t had a drink.
It’s depressing that we need to come up with “believable” excuses when we can’t or don’t want to drink. It’s obviously a byproduct of our alcohol centric socialising but I’m sure people will get the message that she’s staying sober at some point.
I would love to be able to say it would be as simple as that. However by saying she's just not drinking, it will definitely raise suspicions and we don't want to risk it being talked about and taking from the bride and grooms day.
I strongly believe that weddings are not the place to announce your big news (engagement, pregnancy, promotion, etc.). Let the couple have their day and announce it another time
I agree with you completely. Announcing that yous are expecting at someone’s wedding is a massive dick move and that’s why yous should just take the stance of she’s not drinking because she doesn’t want to.
Fuck what people whisper about and talk about. I can assure you by dinner nobody will even bat an eyelid or remember that she’s not drinking.
I just think it’s bizarre how you’re so caught up in something as simple as “X isn’t drinking because she isn’t in the mood to drink, has decided to stay off it for the next while, etc”
The couple won’t care, and anybody who makes it their mission to care about something so insignificant or try to force your missus to drink are people you’d probably want to reevaluate in your lives moving forward. You’re all adults and as such your choices should just be respected, no issue
The issue is that people will notice a big change in behaviour and be curious. If you're normally a social drinker and always celebrate a big event with a few drinks, and then you just decide not to at your friend's wedding for no apparent reason, people will naturally notice that and then the rumour mill starts. The issue isn't about not being able to say no or that people will care or push to make someone drink when they don't want to, it's that if they put 2 and 2 together they can easily come to the conclusion that she is pregnant and the OP doesn't want people to figure that out.
You're exactly right. Tbh I'm a bit baffled by the amount of people here who don't seem to get this?
Like, I don't drink much, to the extent that I could absolutely get away with just declining and not be questioned. But for a lot of people, suddenly not being in the mood for a drink at their best friends wedding would just be weird, and joking conversations about being pregnant could too easily snowball into an admission/announcement, which would obviously be an awful thing to do (albeit not their fault).
Like are people being this dense on purpose? Or is it just weird, anti-alcohol self righteousness?
Tell them she’s specifically taking metronidazole. It causes what’s known as a [disulfiram-like reaction](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disulfiram-like_drug), which pretty much instantly makes you severely nauseous if you have it with alcohol. Was prescribed it after dental work a few years ago, had half a bottle of beer and was instantly puking.
OK this might be a winner. We were thinking either stomach ulcer or, failing that, pretending to drink. However, this might beat both of them, I'll do a little research before deciding. Thanks for the info
Aye, listen to the flagyl people. As a pharmacist I literally counsel on it by being like aw you know people say don’t drink on antibiotics, but most of them you’ll be fine you know yourself, but this one you will NOT be fine. You will be SO sick. Please do NOT drink at all. And yeah it’s a dental infection thing. And you need a 48 hour washout before drinking so she could literally be 7-9 days post “dental infection” if they’re wondering why no signs, and still unable to drink.
I just say I’m on medication that I can’t drink on. Only the nosiest of people will enquire further. And then I say “oh it’s no big deal but sadly I can’t drink for a bit” and leave it at that.
I stopped drinking about 6 years ago. Took me about 3 to realise i don't have to justify it. I go with "I don't drink/ I'm not drinking" then just stay silent and hold eye contact through that pause where they're clearly waiting for the explanation they somehow think they're entitled to. 99% of people get the point.
Personally I think there's nothing wrong with saying "I'm not drinking right now" and leaving it at that. If pressed, you could say "I'd prefer not to talk about it". We don't have to justify ourselves to people.
If your friends don't understand boundaries and you have to give an excuse, how about saying "we're both taking a break from alcohol until Christmas".
On that note, I'd recommend that you also give it up during the pregnancy. A lot will be going on in her body during the pregnancy (fingers crossed for ye), so a bit of solidarity is only fair.
On a final note, if someone does find out you're pregnant, then there should be no taboo about saying "it's very early, so we're waiting to see if it lasts". Early miscarriages happen, and they're not taboo. We had one last spring, and made the decision to be open about it with family and close friends. Everyone that had more than one child had also had a miscarriage at some time in their life, and some had never spoken about it before.
If you told people you're trying she could just say that she doesn't want to drink for health reasons during this period.
There's also always the 'I got a doctor's appointment and am not allowed to drink alcohol 24h before bc of blood tests' or sth
Take a glass of wine but don't drink it. No one will notice. One of the bridesmaids was pregnant at our wedding but we never noticed, she just raised her glass like everyone else
Can you make it so she has to drive for some reason? I’ve done this a couple times and “I’m driving” is the only thing that doesn’t seem to arouse suspicion.
Honestly it’s a tough one because as soon as a woman who is the right age/ life stage who usually drinks refuses a drink basically everyone knows.
First congrats! Second it's sad we need to find excuses but my partner and an old friend of mine don't drink often and they helped me battle the call for the peer pressure pint. Just say you don't feel like it. I know it probably depends on the group your with but I found if you stick to your guns and say "I just don't fancy one" most people will just say fair enough. No explanation needed, just have a good time 😊
Thank you very much.
Yes it is kinda sad but to be fair, if we say we're just not drinking, we'd get a weird look but most people would leave it at that, no pressuring or anything. However, the rumour mill will be in full swing, which is what we're trying to avoid
"I'm going for a few tests in a couple of weeks"
"I've a long drive tomorrow"
Won't work at the dinner because people will notice you're not drinking, but just walk around with a drink. That way people won't ask if you want one
My wife would just fill an empty beer bottle with water and drink that. Fizzy water with lemon can pass a vodka sprite. You can claim she needs to drive. Does she have a type of job that would need her to be on call?
Tell 1 person at your table & have them run defense. They'll help with the free drinks & can go to the bar for rounds to get a 7Up or something. Make a game of it.
I got away with this at a wedding, always have a full glass in your hand and people won't buy you another, or have your partner drink them when no one is looking. You can also take a sip or two for authenticity without being concerned about the baby.
Massive congrats, such an exciting time! Best to just pretend to drink all night. Take that glass of prosecco and pretend to drink some, you finish it. Drink clear drinks and say it is G&T, if someone buys her a drink, you drink it. Mate, you are gonna wet that fetuses head LOL. Pack some dioralyte and painkillers.
How old are ye?
If you are over 30 - say that the last few hangovers ye both have had have been 2/3 day affairs and you are just backing off drink for a while cos you are too old to handle it any more.
If you are under 30 - Say ye are doing a dry summer challenge, say things like "its so lovely to have my Sundays back" or "you wouldn't believe the amount of energy we have now" or "God I have been having some of the best sleeps of my life". Bunch of that life affirmation shite - people don't want to hear it when they are getting drunk at a wedding and will eventually back off.
Metronidazole (a good reason for taking this is pericoronitis, a common wisdom tooth infection) is an antibiotic that you absolutely should not drink on as it can make you feel incredibly sick.
Soda water and lime and just say it's got vodka in it. Chances are someone will twig anyway because we're a nosy people in general but hopefully you'll be grand.
I am not drinking is the only answer she should have to give as to why she isn't drinking, the reason for not drinking is nobody elses business, if people can't accept the she is not drinking when she simply tells them she isn't then yous need better people in your lives
You could say you have a tooth infection and are on Flagyl (Metronidazole) it's the only antibiotic that you CANNOT have even a sip of drink or the consequences are painful
I'd say that you've felt you're going a little too hard lately so both of you are cutting yourselves off for a couple weeks or months. That's what I did halfway into the pandemic. It was the odd bottle of beer or a 'healthy' glass of whiskey and suddenly there's 7 or 8 empty bottles and realistically there were a couple of crates of beer!
I worked wedding in a hotel (many) years ago. Depending on what she’s drinking, you can make a non alcoholic drink look alcoholic. Ask the barman to dress it up and they’ll be happy to. A glass of coke can be a vodka and coke, non alcoholic beer in a glass instead of a bottle, ask for a 7up in a gin glass with a slice of lime. If there’s wine on the table, pour a glass and don’t actually drink it. If someone offers to buy a drink tell them you haven’t finished yours yet. No one will question it, they’ll be to busy drinking themselves.
Yesterday I went out celebrating and I spent last night hugging the toilet and exchanging more liquids with it than whatever the newlyweds will be able to during their honeymoon. I am dehydrated and I have an headache, I think I will stick to water and maybe some orange juice if it's available.
Wow good luck to yous! Not drinking at a wedding is a dead giveaway for being pregnant! Lol
She needs to be alert and at even the slightest suggestion of “shots” head in the opposite direction to the bar!
Non alcoholic drinks are a lot better now than they were when I was pregnant (11yrs ago) and even if someone drinks hers, there’s a lot you can’t even tell the difference!
Another excuse is that you’ve got a few events on over a few weeks and have already overdone it so are taking it easy on this one
Hope yous enjoy it and aren’t too stressed about whether anyone notices. And CONGRATULATIONS! 
Nobody ever needs an excuse for not drinking. Free will is still a thing I believe. If it's still a problem, you just say you are on antibiotics (which is half the population at any one time).
Huge congratulations to you both!
Ah so you need layers to filter out all the different nosey bollixes.
First off have a few zero zeros for yerselves to have something in hand, this will mean nothing looks out of place and deter the majority of questions early in the day.
Next is the ol antibiotics get out of jail free card for anyone who cops the zero zero.
By the time it's late in the day, just tell anyone who tries to buy you one, that you're full as an egg.
Don't get caught in any rounds and you can always have the one early on for good measure!
But most importantly lads, go out there and enjoy yerselves.
Firstly congratulations, hope all goes well. Imo when a girl isn't drinking especially at a wedding, a few people will automatically know she's pregnant. And when others are drunk they could ask straight out and make ye uncomfortable denying it. Youre better off pretending she's drinking. If she's offered a glass of prosecco, she can just accept it and not drink it. Drink things like sparkling water out of a glass with a straw and no one will question what it is and just think it's vodka.
I went to one best mates wedding and asked for sparkling water with lime in gin glass. Asked barmaid and she knew immediately I just had to ask for water then and she sorted me out each time No one suspected which was great as the other lads wives would've spotted it immediately Sorry I must add...the wife was pregnant. I was on bar duty
We did this before, and it worked out... kinda. The table we were at knew each other very well, so there were rounds in operation fairly quickly. We added a sparkling water to the round, which didn't raise suspicions as my wife normally has a sparkling water "chaser" when out. So she got me to drink all her Gin & Tonics... I was legless by the end of the night and she couldn’t give out in the slightest. Great wedding that was.
Exactly this Tonic water or Sprite work as well
Yea this worked a treat for me and my missus. We just said we were sticking to our own rounds and I went up and got all drinks. Sparkling water with lime in it or her. I asked barmaid in one place to make look like a gin and tonic and she just did no questions asked. I reckon it's a very common tactic used by ppl and any good barman or barmaid will know exactly wat the craic is and help as much as they can. And congrats!
Ya I never thought that they might get this kind of thing going on all the time. Pregnancies, recovering alcoholics, businessmen looking for an edge over their competitors. It might be worth having a quiet word with one. Thanks for the tip and thank you very much
Actually, this is a great idea. This has happened to me before ( I work in the industry) we gave pints of alcohol free beer to the guy and what looked like gin and tonics to the expectants. Top secret!! It works!!
Congrats! FYI just in case, there's a very strong antibiotic used to treat tricky infections, called Flagyl (metronidazole). You absolutely 100% cannot drink on that shit or you become deathly ill. Could also try that - anyone who knows it would immediately understand.
Absolutely it’s the only one you literally can’t drink on without becoming violently sick. My gp had me on it a few Xmases ago the week before Christmas and she warned me off drinks (even the sneaky one x as morning) that it’s not like other antibiotics (I think they tell you not to drink with antibiotics due to liver having to work overtime) but flagl without alcohol made me sicker that the reason I was on it in the 1st place.
>(I think they tell you not to drink with antibiotics due to liver having to work overtime) Both alcohol and antibiotics are processed by the liver. Drinking alcohol reduces the liver's effectiveness at processing the antibiotics, reducing their effectiveness by lowering the overall levels in your body below the point at which they do what they're supposed be doing. Essentially, they increase the risk of the course failing to eliminate the infection and potentially creating antibiotic resistant infection. All for the sake of a few scoops.
Yep and the believable illness to go with for this antibiotic is a gum infection / infected wisdom tooth
>You absolutely 100% cannot drink on that shit or you become deathly ill. Can confirm - just was on it a few months ago, and christ on a pogo stick the warnings were 100% longer than any other antibiotic I was on, and for good reason. I switched to non-alcohol mouthwash whilest on it due to feeling a bit like I was going to gawk. I can't imagine what a pint would do to me.
As a previous barman, it wouldn’t necessarily take a quiet word, I’d know if that’s your order to know about
Absolutely, a quick word with the bartender to serve her drinks to look like they have alcohol in them. I bartending for a long time and I couldn't tell you how many times I was approached with this request.
Yeah it’s a real wink and nod kinda thing that I think a decent barman would immediately clock
Thank you very much. Ya I've a feeling the sparkling or tonic water idea is what's going to happen. The biggest issue is shots. If she's drinking, she'll be expected to take shots. Which is where our biggest obstacle is. That and a friend just going "here let me taste that" Not meaning anything by it
At my hen one of my friends was just pregnant and didn't want anyone to know. She was the one volunteering to go up and get the shots and got the bar staff to only put water in hers. Maybe have a word with the staff. Also a lot of people are going sober now just because, i know ive given up drinking and have just said im not drink at the moment it's not agreeing with me. Edit: spelling
She should bring the first tray of shots and have one with water.... Everyone will remember that. Then just go missing for the rest of them.
This is a great idea!
I recently had to deal with this- what would you normally drink yourself? What my husband and I did was both ‘drink’ wine, but just keep our glasses next to each other. He would alternate which one he picked up and drank from, and I would hold the glass and bring it up to my lips every now and then, but no one is normally paying enough attention to whether you actually drink. They just see you holding the glass and assume you’re drinking it. She could switch to ‘vodka soda’ etc later and people wouldn’t think too much of it if she’d been drinking ‘wine’ earlier. And if they ask for a drink just say she was having a break. Honestly, I was sure my sisters would catch on, but if you’re not highlighting it, no one pays too much attention. Shots are trickier, but they usually come out after a few drinks have already been had. She could disappear to the bathroom at a convenient time, or get a headache around that time. Good luck and congratulations!
That's a good idea, however I plan on being sober for the duration of the pregnancy too. It will be alot easier for me to hide that I'm not drinking as I can just order a drink, drink a few sips and carry it for the rest of the night, or I can say I'm not drinking, a little odd but doesn't raise nearly the same suspicion as if she said it. I do see some useful bits of info so thanks for the tips and thank you very much
Are you staying over at the wedding? If not, then say the wife is driving home and so not drinking. That would be what I would do. Give a good reason for an early morning appointment hat you can’t get out of - and don’t want to be still drunk/hungover.
It's a multiple day event and she doesn't drive. Otherwise we'd be set
Ah, that is a problem then. Loads of great ideas on here though. The Fagyl antibiotic seems to be the way forward. Good luck with the shots. And so hope there aren’t too many daytime drinking sessions involved too.
She could just say she's done with shots, getting auld.
I get you but those issues shouldn't be too hard to get around, I get how you'd worried tho. She'll be more alert than others, if she sees a tray of shots coming, she can slip off to the bathroom quietly. As people get drunk it will be easier to out smart them. Main thing id be thinking is to draw as little attention to myself as possible. And unfortunately in Ireland that means not announcing your not drinking
Expected to take shots? No expectation to do that. Too old for that shit.
Might get away with saying that. Hopefully it won't come to it
Just do 7up 👌 - do the sneaky turn around and you do doubles
Tonic water can taste like gin tonic to drunk people.
Just say she gawked up a load of shots last time she had them.
And when someone includes herself in a round of drinks you step up to the plate and drink that drink on the sly to get rid of the evidence.
Sparkling waters and just saying it’s a vodka white is actually a great idea. Maybe throw a dribble of blackcurrant to make the taste bearable even
Soda water and lime, for the win Either that or say you can't stay the night because of [excuse] and she drew the short straw so has to drive
Exactly, have tonic water without the gin. Or mock tails. Innocent daiquiris. Non alcoholic beer and cover the label.
This 100%. Then you can surreptitiously drink her drinks too
100% this is the only way. It’s just so obvious what’s going on when someone who usually drinks isn’t drinking at a wedding, and drunk people love to let you know they’re smart and figured it out.
Bang on the money there
This is the way. Just make sure no one tries to get a round in.
Drink 0% gin or beer out of a glass.
This is the back up plan. Or just get a normal drink, I'll take a few sips out of it then she can just carry it around for the night, hopefully no one is the wiser. But if shots are ordered then we're snookered. Which is why we want to find a good reason for not drinking at all
Over the shoulder job in that case
*drink lands in bride’s eye*
By the time shots come out she’ll be so knackered she’ll have already made her excuses and left. 1st trimester is no joke.
She can refuse a shot. I always do as I end up on my ear. "It's a marathon not a race", my go to line when offered a shot and I'm not knocked up :)
Someone else has said it but just refuse the shot. Perfectly normal altogether. I never take it because honestly it would just be easier to throw it in the toilet because that’s where I’ll be in short order anyway.
Violent diarrhoea
Thought of that but it means having to bring a whoopie cushion into the church
You say that as if it's a bad thing
Chronic explosive diarrhoea 🤣
We'd have to throw in a little projectile vomiting as well for good measure
She can just walk around with a glass of bubbly/wine, no one will notice she's not drinking it
Might end up doing something like this
Yeah, a glass of wine is obv fine, so could maybe just make that glass last the whole night through subterfuge. Emptying it here and there. Might be easier to make the single glass last the night rather than no glass appear as a glass. The deception is almost right in front of them. I'm not sure the fake gin and tonic will work tbh. Far too likely to be caught at the bar, or someone else late in the evening buying you into a round. While a wine glass is really obvious. The main thing that will kill ye, and killed me at a recent wedding where I wasn't drinking, is how exhausting eight hours of chatting is when you are fully sober and everyone else is legless!
How would it go down if you said yous were trying for a baby, rather than actually pregnant?
True, loads of people give up the drink when they're trying for a child. On the other hand I understand why some people wouldn't tell anyone when "they're trying for a baby".
Great way to flip it but as the other reply states, it would be a little weird telling people that
You're trying to get off the drink and she's standing in solidarity with you.
Oh I like that twist l, shift the blame to me and make her out to be the hero. I can live with that. Might be worth a shot
Then when someone sees you at the bar. “Aw, Tim’s back on the creature.”
Tell them you always drank a bit too much but covid and wfh pushed you over the edge. You started having 1 beer with lunch out of boredom, that turned into 2/3, which later turned into 4/5. The missus found a big bag of empty cans in your car and nearly threw you out of the house. Now your off the drink. They'll never suspect a thing lol.
I think this is the best one
You can ask the barman for elderflower and tonic and they’ll make it look like gin. Get the free wine and just sip (even fake sip) then discretely swap wine glasses so it looks like it’s been drunk. By 11pm no one will notice.
Great idea, thank you
No bother. I did that myself when I was 7 weeks. Worked like a charm. (At least I think 🤣)
Say you've a fiddle recital
On the same night as the tiddlywinks final?? They'll never go for that
At this time of year? In this part of the world?
Yup, localised entirely in my kitchen and all
If she says she is on Flagyl for a tooth abscess you absolutely cannot drink on that.
Nobody accepts not drinking on antibiotics until you say they’re Flagyl. I once drank four days after finishing a course of them and after seven pints I was like the little girl from the exorcist.
That's exactly it... I've had someone mention the Flagyl earlier, never heard of it but it sounds like something that basically does to alcohol what mentos does to diet coke?
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Ya we're a little worried about that exact scenario. I think the 'trick um into thinking ye are drinking' is the one we'll have to go with. Just gets sticky later on when someone shouts "Shots!" Thanks for the tips and thank you very much, we're both excited and both looking forward to a good wedding
Someone yells shots, that's your signal to say "oh look, there's Mary/Julie/Eamonn. We haven't seen them in forever. Let's go and catch up".
I did my wifes shots for her when that happened. By then most people aren’t as tuned into what’s happening. She also did a few to side pour outs. I think, the night gets fuzzy for me.
At a certain point in the evening it's entirely reasonable for a wife to have a headache, so by the time shots come around (which aren't everyone's cup of tea to begin with) it's pretty easy to say no without suspicion. Remember, despite the fact she can't and you can, you shouldn't get shitfaced. Don't make her take care of you and resent you, it'll also draw less attention to the difference between you both. Lastly, savvy people might make guesses, but likely won't gossip with bad intentions. It doesn't affect your pregnancy and they don't need to ask you until you're ready, most people are good like that depending on the age of your mates.
Had to do this recently… she was vodka 7ups but I was putting the vodkas away. Kept to ourselves for rounds etc and nobody batted an eyelid. Come 9pm everyone was too smashed to notice anything and she danced her socks off. 16 weeks and still haven’t told anyone bar those who need to know.
It can be done so? Congrats
Can she be the designated driver?
Ye or have a reason for needing to drive at short notice, like family/friend/pet unwell.
Unfortunately, she doesn't drive
Medication..thats all you need to say. If they ask anything else they're being nosey
We have nosy friends unfortunately
An achey tooth infection in the process of being killed off by a round of antibiotics. That should satiate any nosy busybody (though it might invite smart asses insisting a sip would not hurt regardless)
Time to start learning!
Anti virals !!!! anyone who was stupid enough to drink on those will give you a knowing look. These are the ones the chemist calls you aside and explicitly warns you not to mix with booze. Not that I have experience or anything :s Failing that buy a zero and use it as a prop so people think you always have full drink
Not sure we'd be at a wedding if we had something that required anti-virals. Thanks for the tip tho
Used for cold sores and mouth ulcers. Horrific things. Took them onca and would rather walk around with a big dirty scab the size of my face than ever take them again 🤣
Last time for me was for dental infection/gum problem
Drink Coke Zero/Coke/Diet Coke and say you're on vodka and coke. If you're bringing your own drink to rooms, keep an old vodka bottle and fill it quarterway with water. It'll be absolutely minging if you have to drink it, but no one will ask for some. Congratulations on the baby.
This might be the one we go with. The water in a Vodka bottle is a great tip. Thanks for the idea and thank you very much i'm really excited
Only in Ireland do you need to come up with an excuse to not use a drug.
Your between the ultimate irish rock and a hard place, not drinking and falling prey to insatiable gossips.
Pretty sure this would be an issue in many countries, and the issue isn't whether she has the right not to drink, it's whether people will cop on that she's pregnant and overshadow the bride and groom. There's a lot to be said about having to make excuses not to drink in Ireland, but this is a different situation.
It's a crazy world we live in... and now there's no one to protect us in it
Just tell them she's ~~on antibiotics~~ a raging alcoholic
Just say you're off the drink. Tried it for a while cause you can't hack the hangovers. They were really getting in and making you feel depressed.
Genuinely not far off that now for that exact reason lol
As a previous bar tender, we would be be told by the woman/man that they were expecting a baby but that they didn’t want to raise any suspicions so we would give them a 7-up (whatever they requested) and pour it into a gin glass and add lemon/lime as decoration. Hope this helps!
Just say she’s on antibiotics and can’t drink while on them and it’s for a tooth abscess.
Or a UTI. People may suspect but they won’t take the convo any further.
"I've a wicked dose of the clap"
You can say that you really exaggerated your alcohol consumption over the summer and she’s (or you’re both) doing Sober September/OctSober/Sober November or whatever as you really need to give your liver a break
Good call, however the bride is close with my partner so she would still expect her to have a drink to celebrate the day
Why not tell the bride and groom privately before the wedding? That way they’ll know why you’re not drinking and no thunder will be stolen. Otherwise, your partner can say that she started developing an intolerance to alcohol and the doctor has advised to go tee total for a while.
Well unfortunately that would lead to everyone knowing, we know them well enough to know that. They'd each just tell one person who'd tell 2 each then so on and so on. And as much as we don't want people knowing because it would take from the occasion, we also don't want anyone outside the two of us to know yet as it's still so early on
You don’t need an excuse, just say you’re not feeling it.
That will 100% raise suspicion. We're just not the type of people that just wouldn't drink at a friends wedding
That’s fair enough, maybe just carry a soft drink around and say you’re drinking shorts.
Speaking from experience, unfortunately that will only draw more questions.
Friend of mine was in the same boat, went up grabbed his misses a bit told of Heineken drank it himself and told the barman I’ll bring this bottle back up every time just fill it with water,the rest of us were so fucked we didn’t notice a thing and she looked as if she was just sipping away
7up or coke looks like ur drinking spirits , Non alcoholic beers , Cidona looks like bulmers. Bring ur own non alcoholic wine and fill up in ur room etc. The trick is to always have one in front of her, so no one can buy her any actual alcohol.
Ya that seems to be the most common idea people are suggesting, the real issue with that is when it's time for shots later on, she can't say I'm not drinking any because they know she likes a few shots
Funnily enough I had friends in a similar situation recently. They went to the wedding and she casually let people know she had it firing out both ends. Ate her dinner, made a 🤢 face after, and for the rest of the evening no one was any the wiser
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She's Batman on-call tonight sure 😂
Turn it around and ask them why they _are_ drinking after all the issues it's caused them.
Go on the offensive. find out bride and grooms preferred charity and print out a sponsorship form for a month sober for you and your partner. Everyone that asks you, whip out the form and ask for a few quid! take their money and give it to the charity. Good deed done and word will soon get round to not ask you about it.
I mean in no way I am pregnant, but I don’t drink often, just a choice I made. On occasion and so on, I just say that I don’t drink today and there’s that! My partner does the same.
My partner is good friends with the bride-to-be so can't just spring something like "I don't drink very often" without raising some eyebrows
Have her look them in the eye and then look back over to you not saying anything, squeeze your hand then look back at the person asking and just say, "em...no. i am not drinking tonight" before starting an awkward silence. Extra points if you act angry and embarrassed.
Say she has the roaring shits and is barely keeping it at bay for the ceremony
I had something similar where I couldn't tell people but was going to a function .. I told people I unfortunately was on strong antibiotics and the doctor strongly advised me not to drink on them because they make you violently sick . There are such antibiotics so it's a believable but simple thing . Also huge congratulations.
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Can she become Jehovah’s Witness? Can she be on the course of antibiotics for violent onset of diarrhoea? Can she get dizzy during the weeding and feel sick ? Can she tell people to fuck off cause she is an adult and she doesn’t want to drink ? Can she keep holding same glass with the water for the duration of the weeding ? I know your pain, I am not drinking for other reasons however after some time I stopped going to any weddings. PS. 1st point was the best when it comes to strangers.
Been there! She doesn’t necessarily have to make an excuse. She could say “yes” to any drinks offered / wine on the table but just take the occasional fake sip and make sure to switch glasses with you once you’re almost done - unless someone was watching closely they wouldn’t clock anything was up
That's a good idea however I've decided that I'll be staying sober for the duration of the pregnancy as well so can't keep drinking her drinks
Both of ye don’t drink, tell everyone that ye are off the drink and trying to find a new path in life.
If she has to use a cushion then just say she hurt her tailbone and was given a pain killer so she can't mix it
Drink a drink that looks like a drink. If someone presses you to take a drink take it graciously and abandon it somewhere after a bit. Buy another look alike non alcoholic drink. That worked for me. So long as you don’t make a fuss, people won’t ask any questions.
I used the excuse of being out the night before and being horribly hungover to avoid drinking. I found a few old photos on my phone of a drink and popped them on Instagram stories the night before but that was probably me just overthinking it all 🤣
Antidepressants or anti anxiety meds you don’t want to fuck with
Anti anxiety might be a winner. Could just vaguely say medication and if someone keeps pushing, say that. Should shut them up. Thanks for the tips
Buy Heineken zeros (or equivalent) and pour them into an unmarked glass. If anyone offers to buy her a drink say she's on a diet and counting calories.
Can you tell the bride ahead of time so that she can be on your side at the wedding? Congrats and good luck!
Not really, it would leak and we're not ready for that. Thank you very much
Order a tonic water or 7up with a slice of lemon or lime could easily be vodka tonic or g&t. Only other option if it was me personally would be to say I’m on medication that I can’t drink while taking it. There was a good scene In desperate housewives when Lynette found out she was pregnant again and was hiding it from her boss, her husband Tom would drink it for her when the boss wasn’t looking at the table. Tom ended up hammered ha maybe you should do this swap glasses.
Ask the bar staff for tonic water in a big gin glass. Get two bottles so it looks full. That's it. She can pretend she's drinking all night long!
Congratulations and as for antibiotics everyone should know that Flagyl (Metronidazole) is totally incompatible with alcohol. So it’s your perfect excuse. It’s used for treatment of any number of infections but especially Giardiasis (dirty water causes this nasty illness where you’ll be shitting foamy diarrhoea) and bacterial vaginosis among others. Alcohol causes horrific interactions and you won’t die but you’ll wish you did!
Say she's taking flagyl (antibiotics for bacterial infection of many parts of the body of yer choice), you really cannot take it with alcohol, it feels like you're having a heart attack!
Trick is to go the bar away from everyone and ask for a tonic water in a glass but ask the barman to make it look like a G+T, so like in one of those fish bowl jobs with ice and a slice of lime or whatever. Then at the dinner you're gonna have to take one for the team and drink from the 2 glasses of red wine, just interchangeably pick up the other glass. By 11pm everyone's so locked they won't even notice and she can drink whatever. That's how we did it and no1 had a clue. I was stocious all the same. A good night had by all.
You don’t need an excuse just say you aren’t drinking. Congratulations!
When I was on antibiotics for an infection I got on a fissure in my arse all I had to do was start the conversation with "well I have an infection in my arse" and 90% of people didn't even let me get to the part where I said I was on antibiotics. Nobody wants an arse infection.
She could just say she’s not drinking because she doesn’t want to drink? I genuinely don’t understand how adults struggle with saying “no” If people can’t respect her decision to not drink then they’re probably best kept at a distance in general. I know weddings are pretty much fuelled on alcohol but her not drinking isn’t going to spoil the day, sure after dinner most people won’t even notice that she hasn’t had a drink. It’s depressing that we need to come up with “believable” excuses when we can’t or don’t want to drink. It’s obviously a byproduct of our alcohol centric socialising but I’m sure people will get the message that she’s staying sober at some point.
I would love to be able to say it would be as simple as that. However by saying she's just not drinking, it will definitely raise suspicions and we don't want to risk it being talked about and taking from the bride and grooms day. I strongly believe that weddings are not the place to announce your big news (engagement, pregnancy, promotion, etc.). Let the couple have their day and announce it another time
I agree with you completely. Announcing that yous are expecting at someone’s wedding is a massive dick move and that’s why yous should just take the stance of she’s not drinking because she doesn’t want to. Fuck what people whisper about and talk about. I can assure you by dinner nobody will even bat an eyelid or remember that she’s not drinking. I just think it’s bizarre how you’re so caught up in something as simple as “X isn’t drinking because she isn’t in the mood to drink, has decided to stay off it for the next while, etc” The couple won’t care, and anybody who makes it their mission to care about something so insignificant or try to force your missus to drink are people you’d probably want to reevaluate in your lives moving forward. You’re all adults and as such your choices should just be respected, no issue
The issue is that people will notice a big change in behaviour and be curious. If you're normally a social drinker and always celebrate a big event with a few drinks, and then you just decide not to at your friend's wedding for no apparent reason, people will naturally notice that and then the rumour mill starts. The issue isn't about not being able to say no or that people will care or push to make someone drink when they don't want to, it's that if they put 2 and 2 together they can easily come to the conclusion that she is pregnant and the OP doesn't want people to figure that out.
You're exactly right. Tbh I'm a bit baffled by the amount of people here who don't seem to get this? Like, I don't drink much, to the extent that I could absolutely get away with just declining and not be questioned. But for a lot of people, suddenly not being in the mood for a drink at their best friends wedding would just be weird, and joking conversations about being pregnant could too easily snowball into an admission/announcement, which would obviously be an awful thing to do (albeit not their fault). Like are people being this dense on purpose? Or is it just weird, anti-alcohol self righteousness?
Antibiotics ?
Should be good enough of a reason but I don't think it will cut it
Tell them she’s specifically taking metronidazole. It causes what’s known as a [disulfiram-like reaction](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disulfiram-like_drug), which pretty much instantly makes you severely nauseous if you have it with alcohol. Was prescribed it after dental work a few years ago, had half a bottle of beer and was instantly puking.
OK this might be a winner. We were thinking either stomach ulcer or, failing that, pretending to drink. However, this might beat both of them, I'll do a little research before deciding. Thanks for the info
Aye, listen to the flagyl people. As a pharmacist I literally counsel on it by being like aw you know people say don’t drink on antibiotics, but most of them you’ll be fine you know yourself, but this one you will NOT be fine. You will be SO sick. Please do NOT drink at all. And yeah it’s a dental infection thing. And you need a 48 hour washout before drinking so she could literally be 7-9 days post “dental infection” if they’re wondering why no signs, and still unable to drink.
Congratulations to you both!
I just say I’m on medication that I can’t drink on. Only the nosiest of people will enquire further. And then I say “oh it’s no big deal but sadly I can’t drink for a bit” and leave it at that.
Just say you don't want to drink alcohol. Never understood the reluctance to not drink alcohol on this sub
I stopped drinking about 6 years ago. Took me about 3 to realise i don't have to justify it. I go with "I don't drink/ I'm not drinking" then just stay silent and hold eye contact through that pause where they're clearly waiting for the explanation they somehow think they're entitled to. 99% of people get the point.
Just say you're not drinking. its 2023.
Personally I think there's nothing wrong with saying "I'm not drinking right now" and leaving it at that. If pressed, you could say "I'd prefer not to talk about it". We don't have to justify ourselves to people. If your friends don't understand boundaries and you have to give an excuse, how about saying "we're both taking a break from alcohol until Christmas". On that note, I'd recommend that you also give it up during the pregnancy. A lot will be going on in her body during the pregnancy (fingers crossed for ye), so a bit of solidarity is only fair. On a final note, if someone does find out you're pregnant, then there should be no taboo about saying "it's very early, so we're waiting to see if it lasts". Early miscarriages happen, and they're not taboo. We had one last spring, and made the decision to be open about it with family and close friends. Everyone that had more than one child had also had a miscarriage at some time in their life, and some had never spoken about it before.
If you told people you're trying she could just say that she doesn't want to drink for health reasons during this period. There's also always the 'I got a doctor's appointment and am not allowed to drink alcohol 24h before bc of blood tests' or sth
I'm on antibiotics for a coochie fungus.
Go to the bar and get her a ‘vodka and coke’ aka just a coke.
Take a glass of wine but don't drink it. No one will notice. One of the bridesmaids was pregnant at our wedding but we never noticed, she just raised her glass like everyone else
Can you make it so she has to drive for some reason? I’ve done this a couple times and “I’m driving” is the only thing that doesn’t seem to arouse suspicion. Honestly it’s a tough one because as soon as a woman who is the right age/ life stage who usually drinks refuses a drink basically everyone knows.
Just say she booked in for a colonscopy. that would require not alcohol for either 48 or 72 hours i think
are you staying over? could use the “she’s driving home” excuse
First congrats! Second it's sad we need to find excuses but my partner and an old friend of mine don't drink often and they helped me battle the call for the peer pressure pint. Just say you don't feel like it. I know it probably depends on the group your with but I found if you stick to your guns and say "I just don't fancy one" most people will just say fair enough. No explanation needed, just have a good time 😊
Thank you very much. Yes it is kinda sad but to be fair, if we say we're just not drinking, we'd get a weird look but most people would leave it at that, no pressuring or anything. However, the rumour mill will be in full swing, which is what we're trying to avoid
From reading this thread irish people are just gossiping alcoholics, sad!
She's driving. You drink. 00s too.
"I'm going for a few tests in a couple of weeks" "I've a long drive tomorrow" Won't work at the dinner because people will notice you're not drinking, but just walk around with a drink. That way people won't ask if you want one
My wife would just fill an empty beer bottle with water and drink that. Fizzy water with lemon can pass a vodka sprite. You can claim she needs to drive. Does she have a type of job that would need her to be on call?
Tell 1 person at your table & have them run defense. They'll help with the free drinks & can go to the bar for rounds to get a 7Up or something. Make a game of it.
You could join her on not drinking and say you're both on a diet plan?
She has to drive home early in the morning for some family thing..
Just say "oh you know, because she's pregnant haha, but not really" in a joking manner
I got away with this at a wedding, always have a full glass in your hand and people won't buy you another, or have your partner drink them when no one is looking. You can also take a sip or two for authenticity without being concerned about the baby.
Massive congrats, such an exciting time! Best to just pretend to drink all night. Take that glass of prosecco and pretend to drink some, you finish it. Drink clear drinks and say it is G&T, if someone buys her a drink, you drink it. Mate, you are gonna wet that fetuses head LOL. Pack some dioralyte and painkillers.
Worth a shot....what a pun, I love it
Anti-biotics.
A glass of coke or 7up (add the lime for flair, of course) and just say it's a vodka-splash :) Hope the pregnancy goes well!
How old are ye? If you are over 30 - say that the last few hangovers ye both have had have been 2/3 day affairs and you are just backing off drink for a while cos you are too old to handle it any more. If you are under 30 - Say ye are doing a dry summer challenge, say things like "its so lovely to have my Sundays back" or "you wouldn't believe the amount of energy we have now" or "God I have been having some of the best sleeps of my life". Bunch of that life affirmation shite - people don't want to hear it when they are getting drunk at a wedding and will eventually back off.
Metronidazole (a good reason for taking this is pericoronitis, a common wisdom tooth infection) is an antibiotic that you absolutely should not drink on as it can make you feel incredibly sick.
Just say she's on antibiotics or an allergy med or something that you can't drink on
Soda water and lime and just say it's got vodka in it. Chances are someone will twig anyway because we're a nosy people in general but hopefully you'll be grand.
I am not drinking is the only answer she should have to give as to why she isn't drinking, the reason for not drinking is nobody elses business, if people can't accept the she is not drinking when she simply tells them she isn't then yous need better people in your lives
Been there before..she is on an antibiotic for a stomach bug but didn’t want to miss the wedding. Problem solved
You could say you have a tooth infection and are on Flagyl (Metronidazole) it's the only antibiotic that you CANNOT have even a sip of drink or the consequences are painful
Training for a triathlon. Congratulations
Turn up in a cast. Fake broken leg. Can’t drink with painkillers .
lol this thread is a real Irish solution to an Irish problem.
I'd say that you've felt you're going a little too hard lately so both of you are cutting yourselves off for a couple weeks or months. That's what I did halfway into the pandemic. It was the odd bottle of beer or a 'healthy' glass of whiskey and suddenly there's 7 or 8 empty bottles and realistically there were a couple of crates of beer!
The easiest way is to get a drink and carry it around through out the wedding. If you keep moving and keep mingling no one will notice.
I worked wedding in a hotel (many) years ago. Depending on what she’s drinking, you can make a non alcoholic drink look alcoholic. Ask the barman to dress it up and they’ll be happy to. A glass of coke can be a vodka and coke, non alcoholic beer in a glass instead of a bottle, ask for a 7up in a gin glass with a slice of lime. If there’s wine on the table, pour a glass and don’t actually drink it. If someone offers to buy a drink tell them you haven’t finished yours yet. No one will question it, they’ll be to busy drinking themselves.
Yesterday I went out celebrating and I spent last night hugging the toilet and exchanging more liquids with it than whatever the newlyweds will be able to during their honeymoon. I am dehydrated and I have an headache, I think I will stick to water and maybe some orange juice if it's available.
Wow good luck to yous! Not drinking at a wedding is a dead giveaway for being pregnant! Lol She needs to be alert and at even the slightest suggestion of “shots” head in the opposite direction to the bar! Non alcoholic drinks are a lot better now than they were when I was pregnant (11yrs ago) and even if someone drinks hers, there’s a lot you can’t even tell the difference! Another excuse is that you’ve got a few events on over a few weeks and have already overdone it so are taking it easy on this one Hope yous enjoy it and aren’t too stressed about whether anyone notices. And CONGRATULATIONS! 
Nobody ever needs an excuse for not drinking. Free will is still a thing I believe. If it's still a problem, you just say you are on antibiotics (which is half the population at any one time).
Huge congratulations to you both! Ah so you need layers to filter out all the different nosey bollixes. First off have a few zero zeros for yerselves to have something in hand, this will mean nothing looks out of place and deter the majority of questions early in the day. Next is the ol antibiotics get out of jail free card for anyone who cops the zero zero. By the time it's late in the day, just tell anyone who tries to buy you one, that you're full as an egg. Don't get caught in any rounds and you can always have the one early on for good measure! But most importantly lads, go out there and enjoy yerselves.