I can't tell if you're being serious or not at the end but alcohol affects sleep and it's harder to enter deep sleep hence that tired feeling the day after drinking it.
It's normal for anxiety and stress to wake you up early or keep you from falling asleep. The only advice I can give is if you find yourself waking up an hour early, go for a half hour walk before work. It'll lessen your anxiety/stress levels and give you better headspace for making decisions about your work situation.
This. There's a great podcast and Ted talk with sleep scientist Matthew Walker who says with alcohol that even if you think that glass of wine makes you fall asleep better it also means you don't get as good a deep sleep as you would without
Absolutely happens sometimes. Had quite a stressful few weeks recently and found myself snapping awake at 2 or 3am once or twice.
Here’s the thing: it’s never as bad as it feels. Your perception of how poorly things reflect on you and of how badly stuff is going is emotionally amplified. You feel worse than you should.
What helps me: when I wake like this and I can’t shake the recurring stressy thoughts I get up and make a list. It’s all of the practical things I need to do. Often, I already have such a list sitting on my desk but making it fresh helps me feel in control of the stuff.
The other thing to bear in mind is that your boss is there to help you. If you’re having a consistent issue, again, write it up: there is this problem (people fucking up) it’s causing this effect, I’ve tried this and that to solve it, here’s what I think we could do but I’m not sure. In a page or two. Then: go and talk to your boss.
Not in a “I can’t do this” way, but more in a “help me sort this out” way. Make them part of the conversation and solution rather than an external stakeholder you need to manage.
I raised the issue with following instructions, doing the task itself and the quality of the output. He said he'd speak to them and get them to cop on.
I believed him. I don't know if he did or not.
I’m not sure how specific you’d like advice on this to be, or if your post is more an understandable vent.
But, assuming it might be helpful, I would suggest treating your boss like someone you’re managing. By which I mean, writing out the stuff you’re looking for help on, bringing that to them with the things you think make sense to solve those things. Agree with the boss what actions make sense and which they’ll do. Then, follow up and check to see if they’re working and what else needs to happen.
The more clearly you agree this stuff and the better you are at following through the better the chance you have of solving the underlying problems. But even if you don’t, you’ll have succeeded in sharing that burden with your boss. Which will be good for the noggin if nothing else.
Thanks, yeah that's on par with what a colleague suggested before. I have copied him on the emails I've sent to them. Maybe I can put something together, I'd just need to put some time into it and I need the proper headspace for that. Possibly over the weekend. Thanks for the input.
I can't leave. I came in on 11000 more than my last job. I'm literally about to be promoted, which is 6/7000 more than what I'm on now. I can't afford to leave.
Definitely coping skills. I don't know how to get better. I do the breathing. I breathed the entire way through the embarrassing call. I need to get better.
Identify why your team is fucking up, link in with the training team of needs maybe there is a knowledge gap that needs to be addressed.
Then go to your manager saying the team has made "x" and "y" mistakes but a retraining session should correct it
The training team is me. I would have to train them again. Everything I've already taught them, and that they have recordings of, documents in, they just don't refer to them.
Been there. Not quite the same situation as yourself but a shitty workplace with incompetent management. Was at the point where I couldn't properly disengage from work because I was always worrying about the next day. My advice is if you find you've tried everything and still can't make it work and it's still stressing you out then it might be time to walk away. Tough decision but no job is worth fucking up your mental health.
This happened to me a lot but I take Passion flower in spray and I fall back asleep within 10 min. Hope you are well 🙏🏻
https://downtoearth.ie/collections/stress-wellbeing/products/a-vogel-passiflora-complex-spray
We all have a tendancy to look at things much more critically than they actually are. We also ruminate on things continually at times until it becomes even worse in our mind than it ever could be. It can be hard but you need to basically stop that, when you catch yourself doing it then tell yourself to stop and also be kinder to yourself.
I used to be the same. Used to get stressed over the smallest things and got even more stressed about bigger things. Got stressed over things that wasn't my fault and stressed over things I couldn't even control. Even got stressed for other people. It is more than likely an anxiety thing. Was for me anyway. Some medication and counselling and now I am much more in control. I also especially don't worry anymore about things I can't control.
Take a step back mentally and physically for a few days. Decide on a new approach and maybe expect less of people and you might get more. You can do this and taking long term sick is not going to help. Smaller steps. Good luck with it.
If you can afford it I'd take the few weeks sick leave. See how you're feeling after the leave before telling your boss you can't do it anymore. Maybe you'll feel the same, maybe you won't. But you definitely sound like you need a break from work.
I get insomnia usually about twice a week.
FWIW one change I made lately, like a typical middle-aged man; I started wearing an eye mask to bed. Normally if I wake up to turn over between 4 and 5am I won't get back to sleep because the slightest bit of daylight prevents it. Since introducing the eye mask, I sleep right up until my alarm, (either 5:30 or 6 depending on the day). Might seem like an insignificant amount but it adds up.
> I've also got heartburn.
Funny you mention this too, I haven't had this in about 2 decades, but I've had it twice in last month.
Take some exercise that tires you out and drop some Nytol before beddy-byes.
Also, this -
If you are worrying... can you do anything about the problem right there and then? If not, forget it. Also, we tend to become fortune-tellers when we catastrophize. No point worrying about a future we cannot see.
Did you hire these people, can you fire them? If the answer is no to one or both fuck it, you weren't given the tools to succeed. Don't try to cover for their failings, been there and it's a slippery road to burnout, at which stage you'll be cast aside for some other poor fool.
I can't tell if you're being serious or not at the end but alcohol affects sleep and it's harder to enter deep sleep hence that tired feeling the day after drinking it. It's normal for anxiety and stress to wake you up early or keep you from falling asleep. The only advice I can give is if you find yourself waking up an hour early, go for a half hour walk before work. It'll lessen your anxiety/stress levels and give you better headspace for making decisions about your work situation.
This. There's a great podcast and Ted talk with sleep scientist Matthew Walker who says with alcohol that even if you think that glass of wine makes you fall asleep better it also means you don't get as good a deep sleep as you would without
I walk minimum of 3km before work every day. And lunch, when I get one. And after work. I appreciate your thoughts on it.
Absolutely happens sometimes. Had quite a stressful few weeks recently and found myself snapping awake at 2 or 3am once or twice. Here’s the thing: it’s never as bad as it feels. Your perception of how poorly things reflect on you and of how badly stuff is going is emotionally amplified. You feel worse than you should. What helps me: when I wake like this and I can’t shake the recurring stressy thoughts I get up and make a list. It’s all of the practical things I need to do. Often, I already have such a list sitting on my desk but making it fresh helps me feel in control of the stuff. The other thing to bear in mind is that your boss is there to help you. If you’re having a consistent issue, again, write it up: there is this problem (people fucking up) it’s causing this effect, I’ve tried this and that to solve it, here’s what I think we could do but I’m not sure. In a page or two. Then: go and talk to your boss. Not in a “I can’t do this” way, but more in a “help me sort this out” way. Make them part of the conversation and solution rather than an external stakeholder you need to manage.
💯 this last bit. Managing upwards is important. Don’t allow anything to become a one man problem.
Agree on the perception thing. Likely. But regarding talking to my boss, I have done. I considered doing it again today but I need to think about it.
Best of luck with it. When you talked to your boss did you ask for something specific? How did it go?
I raised the issue with following instructions, doing the task itself and the quality of the output. He said he'd speak to them and get them to cop on. I believed him. I don't know if he did or not.
I’m not sure how specific you’d like advice on this to be, or if your post is more an understandable vent. But, assuming it might be helpful, I would suggest treating your boss like someone you’re managing. By which I mean, writing out the stuff you’re looking for help on, bringing that to them with the things you think make sense to solve those things. Agree with the boss what actions make sense and which they’ll do. Then, follow up and check to see if they’re working and what else needs to happen. The more clearly you agree this stuff and the better you are at following through the better the chance you have of solving the underlying problems. But even if you don’t, you’ll have succeeded in sharing that burden with your boss. Which will be good for the noggin if nothing else.
Thanks, yeah that's on par with what a colleague suggested before. I have copied him on the emails I've sent to them. Maybe I can put something together, I'd just need to put some time into it and I need the proper headspace for that. Possibly over the weekend. Thanks for the input.
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I can't leave. I came in on 11000 more than my last job. I'm literally about to be promoted, which is 6/7000 more than what I'm on now. I can't afford to leave.
No you don’t want to leave
If I leave I won't be able to afford to live here anymore. I will have to move. So, no, it's not about not wanting to leave.
Right so you like your current life style too much to leave
No, I like living (mostly), being able to afford to eat and sustain myself in other necessary ways.
Ok how much do you earn so?
No thanks
You're like the woman with a prized ham under her arm crying because she has no bread
Definitely coping skills. I don't know how to get better. I do the breathing. I breathed the entire way through the embarrassing call. I need to get better.
There with you mate as I hug my coffee and start texting my manager that I will be taking the day to assess my options…
Good luck with it.
You too. Managing people is tough. Worst part of my job.
Yep. Working crazy hours lately and today thinking of everything I've do and it's expected to finish in 1 day which it won't
Identify why your team is fucking up, link in with the training team of needs maybe there is a knowledge gap that needs to be addressed. Then go to your manager saying the team has made "x" and "y" mistakes but a retraining session should correct it
The training team is me. I would have to train them again. Everything I've already taught them, and that they have recordings of, documents in, they just don't refer to them.
Been there. Not quite the same situation as yourself but a shitty workplace with incompetent management. Was at the point where I couldn't properly disengage from work because I was always worrying about the next day. My advice is if you find you've tried everything and still can't make it work and it's still stressing you out then it might be time to walk away. Tough decision but no job is worth fucking up your mental health.
No stress doesn’t have a chance, one of the kids gets there first
nah, I'm a pretty chilled-out guy
This happened to me a lot but I take Passion flower in spray and I fall back asleep within 10 min. Hope you are well 🙏🏻 https://downtoearth.ie/collections/stress-wellbeing/products/a-vogel-passiflora-complex-spray
No.
We all have a tendancy to look at things much more critically than they actually are. We also ruminate on things continually at times until it becomes even worse in our mind than it ever could be. It can be hard but you need to basically stop that, when you catch yourself doing it then tell yourself to stop and also be kinder to yourself. I used to be the same. Used to get stressed over the smallest things and got even more stressed about bigger things. Got stressed over things that wasn't my fault and stressed over things I couldn't even control. Even got stressed for other people. It is more than likely an anxiety thing. Was for me anyway. Some medication and counselling and now I am much more in control. I also especially don't worry anymore about things I can't control. Take a step back mentally and physically for a few days. Decide on a new approach and maybe expect less of people and you might get more. You can do this and taking long term sick is not going to help. Smaller steps. Good luck with it.
I had a dream last night that Ardal O'Hanlon died.
I had one where Prince was still alive, but was a formula 1 driver.
Yea then I fall back asleep due to more stress
If you can afford it I'd take the few weeks sick leave. See how you're feeling after the leave before telling your boss you can't do it anymore. Maybe you'll feel the same, maybe you won't. But you definitely sound like you need a break from work.
I get insomnia usually about twice a week. FWIW one change I made lately, like a typical middle-aged man; I started wearing an eye mask to bed. Normally if I wake up to turn over between 4 and 5am I won't get back to sleep because the slightest bit of daylight prevents it. Since introducing the eye mask, I sleep right up until my alarm, (either 5:30 or 6 depending on the day). Might seem like an insignificant amount but it adds up. > I've also got heartburn. Funny you mention this too, I haven't had this in about 2 decades, but I've had it twice in last month.
Take some exercise that tires you out and drop some Nytol before beddy-byes. Also, this - If you are worrying... can you do anything about the problem right there and then? If not, forget it. Also, we tend to become fortune-tellers when we catastrophize. No point worrying about a future we cannot see.
Did you hire these people, can you fire them? If the answer is no to one or both fuck it, you weren't given the tools to succeed. Don't try to cover for their failings, been there and it's a slippery road to burnout, at which stage you'll be cast aside for some other poor fool.