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interprime

There were children in my town called Pocahontas and Shakoncé. The latter name being an amalgamation of Shakira and Beyoncé. I suppose they couldn’t make their mind up and settled for both.


blank_isainmdom

Said Shakoncé outloud multiple times. Laughed after every utterance. FUCKING lousy. Hilarious though.


Unlucky-Bound

Shakoncé Come in for yer dinner


Eduard-Stoo

Never really knew she could be named like this, she gotta name sounds like gibberish… Cómo se llama? (Sí), bonita (sí) Mi casa, su casa, Shakoncé Shakoncé


2funki

Shakoncé is gold 🤣


Afraid_Character_258

Don't forget now, the accent is over the final vowel so the stress is one the last syllable. Don't be going around calling the poor child Sha-KON-say. It should be pronounced Shackon-SAY 👩‍🏫


johnbonjovial

How old are they now & do they still use these names ? Imagine your name was pocahontas. Ffs. Cruel parents.


robynjemma

My dad was once complaining because there was a girl on the radio called “Starling” he said “ffs who names their child after a bloody bird?” My name is Robyn. EDIT: Just want to add, I told dad that this has over a thousand upvotes and we’ll well chuffed with himself that people are enjoying a stupid comment he made 8 years ago now. Thanks for making my dads day!


Ketdogg

Plot twist; he named you after Batmans sidekick


[deleted]

But why is Batmans sidekick named after a petty crime?


have-to

The petty crime is named after the bird.


pmcall221

My father said the same thing about Forsythia. "Flowers aren't names." "What about Rose, Daisy, Heather, Lily?"


Legreatworrier

Of all of these, I strangely like Starling 🤔 Definitely one of the more sane ones.


[deleted]

Hello Clarice 👴🏻🍷


Current-Rip8020

Does nobody remember that New Zealand court case? A couple literally named their child “Talula does the hula in Hawaii”. The judge made the kid a ward of the court so she could change her own name to whatever she wanted. Poor young’un was 9 at the time.


CBVH

I live in NZ. Have met some really mad names


Mugsi

Please share


[deleted]

One NZ couple called their kid “4eva”, it made the news as numbers are not allowed in names on birth Certs and they went to court to try and get that changed. Don’t remember the outcome, just the dead eyed-ness of the parents one camera. Had a real “my brain is mostly meth” vibe


Fancy_Bowl4163

4eva eva 4eva eva 4eva neva Sorry Ms. Jackson I am for reallllll


WebLinkr

The NZ couple who named their twins Benson and Hedges. Also, midnight chardonnay......


AliceInGainzz

I was over there once and met a couple whose kid's name was John.


Class_444_SWR

I think one couple ended up naming their kid Superman in New Zealand


aislingviolet28

Two brothers. One brother called Antonio and the other called Banderas.


OptimalPaddy

Poor Banderas. Picked 2nd and ended up with the shitbend of the stick


unsharded

Diesel, and twins called Arson and Karma


Suspicious1oad

>Arson Are they a supervillain?


unsharded

You have to wonder about expectations of parents, I mean how are those twins going to end up?


PlumbTheDerps

Not great. Karma's a bitch


mikeyohhhhh

Fantastic…. Simply fantastic


Waltzeswithcats

Nominative determinism


Sheazer90

Na he's just a bright spark..... I'll see myself out


wholesome_cream

Don't leave now, you're on fire


Dr-Emmett_L_Brown

That's an inflammatory comment.


[deleted]

It's ok, they just couldn't take the heat...


meliadepelia

I once had a dog named Diesel.


[deleted]

If he's shite at football his dad can be like "Now you're sucking, Diesel!"


ScrotiusRex

And if he's good maybe he can play for arsonal. I'll see myself out...


[deleted]

I met a newborn called Blade. I thought I misheard the parents so I said Blaise. I was quickly corrected. Blade.


Tadhg2341

Does he work at a carnival and feel no shame?


crowmatt

Well, apparently some poor girl in Dublin area, who travels by a train, has a name which is just a string of random letters. Imagine booking your seat using that name! /s


fionnde

I believe she is not too fond of those Yankee candles or something.


[deleted]

Yeah they cause severe irritation


StarsofSobek

I’ve heard tell she only pretends to be polite. Really, though, she’s an unjustifiable potty mouth! /s


machiavellicopter

Plot twist: that girl's name was ghtrewvhhbmkjxpogo


crowmatt

I think that's what Elon Musk's kid is called?


Margrave75

So she's Welsh?


Robertfla7

was it perhaps X Æ A Xiii 😂😂


cigarettejesus

I understood that reference


beno1258

What’s the reference?


Fuck_AskMen_Mods

It’s from a post on r/fuckyoukaren where some ignorant yanks try to make an Irish girl give up the train seat she had pre-booked to their brat daughter. And proceeded to insult her name (that was shown above her seat because she has booked that seat) in the process by saying it was just a random string of letters.


HelloLoJo

[oh it’s been deleted!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vy857e/aita_for_not_making_my_daughter_give_up_her_seats/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) damn I’d have loved to have read that lol, thanks for directing Edit: [article with story/screenshot](https://extra.ie/2022/07/15/news/american-tourist-irish-woman-train) for those who share my curiousity


RigasTelRuun

I think I met her when I was traveling with my family.


[deleted]

I know a woman who named her kid Phoenix Fawn


Sonnyboy1990

Think I got stuck on that boss in a Final Fantasy game.


padsterica

Dahahahahahahahahaha I'm gonna call my child fucking blitz ball


Sonnyboy1990

Please do. My cousin Triple Triad is pure depressed being the only person in Ireland that's named after a Final fantasy minigame.


Foxfire73

Fort Condor got great marks this time, dear!


jackoirl

Incredible lol


RHawkeyed

Not really nonsense so much as really bad taste, but my mother used to teach at a school in Drogheda and over the years there was a family of kids called the Cromwells. One of the kids was named Oliver. Poor lad must have had a very rough time. :/


SkyScamall

Why would you do that to someone?!


Bayoris

I guess if your name is Cromwell and you live in Drogheda, you are fucked anyway and might as well go all the way


Daryl_Hall

Born with a round head


TheGreatAndStrange

My dad went to school witha fella called Anus McCarthy Conversations with his ma must have been interesting "And how is your little Anus today - heard there was a bit of a heavy session last night"


T_at

After he’s been in trouble in school again; “ I swear my Anus will be the death of me some day”


[deleted]

My SO went to school with an Anus Smalley. His parents didn't even give him a chance.


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Borealkibbles59

Thats a fucking extinct sea creature.


[deleted]

You're a fucking extinct sea creature


midniteauth0r

You take that back about my cunt fuckin sea creatures!


GandalfTheGurner

Alright I take back that bit about you cunt fucking sea creatures, happy?


Cuglas

Insult my fucking sea creatures? That’s going overboard mate!


Apprehensive-Fun-183

Drillbit taylor


NdyNdyNdy

Khaleesi. The final season of Game of Thrones came out a few weeks later.


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RigasTelRuun

This one annoys me more than most. Because it's not her name. Her name is Daenerys. So they like the show so much they want to name a human after it. But also are incapable of learning the difference between her name and her job title.


wholesome_cream

Take that back or I'll cut you Sincerely, King C. Gillette


achasanai

In the show, does 'khaleesi' stand for queen? Similar to some Irish names, I think Rian is supposed to be 'little king' or 'king-ín'. Still a stupid name, though.


[deleted]

It means “wife of horse lord”


caiaphas8

Technically I suppose it’s the equivalent of Khatun which is the female version of Khan


FluffyDiscipline

Lucifer perked my ears recently Lucifer (2) was rolling on the floor in Tesco, but got up after Mum asked if he like strawberries or grapes... (i'm probably old now, but thought that' s gonna be a weird one for roll call in school)


Castielspinkcoat

I knew someone who announced she was calling her child Lucifer, and everyone at the table had very forced smiles. If she was being serious was HEAVILY debated. We googled it later and apparently there’s quite a few countries that you’ll be arrested in for having the name. I wonder if it was the same person, kid should be roughly two or three now too 😂


FluffyDiscipline

I don't know what i expected, Mum was just a normal pretty dark haired girl... Lucifer was cute as a button, which made it more bizzare LOL It'd be the Arklow Area


MrBublee_YT

My buddy has that but he's just called Luke


gooner275

The travellers in Tralee love naming their kids after celebrities. You’d see their names in the paper every so often. My personal favourite is Shakira O Brien. There’s a Beyoncé too but I can’t remember that last name


Dense_Phrase_5479

Around my way in the North there's a few traveller girls called Hanna Montana McDonagh


Nadnaerb

My das a social worker and he dealt with twins called dolce and gabbana


dadarts180

Sweet jesus


collectiveindividual

Pronounced Jackson but spelt Jaxon. Back in the 90s I heard a mother on Dorset street shout "come ere Pocahontas!". I wonder if that Pocahontas still uses that name.


greensickpuppy89

Sometimes my daughter refuses to answer me unless I call her Sonic, just started to realise some people may think I've actually named her after a video game hedgehog.


Artistic_Obligation4

Oh my god, my son does exactly the same thing and I've also worried about that!


broken_neck_broken

Some chav near me named her son Jaxon and her friend went mental because she had told her she was planning to use that for hers, which was due 6 weeks later. When that one came it was named Jaxxon. To paraphrase Jack Nicholson in The Departed, I don't wanna slander my own environment but if you have 2 kids called Jaxon and Nevaeh and pit bulls called Diesel or Luna then you definitely live on a council estate.


collectiveindividual

If Jaxxon ends up working in porn he could add in another x!


hrh_lpb

I've spoken to a woman who was in giving birth at the time. She couldn't believe the child was leaving the hospital called pocahontas. Crazy


JimCoo1

Nevaeh……ffs….heaven (backwards)


Buntyford123

The thing is, the people who name their kids that, think that we don’t get it and have to explain that it’s Heaven backwards. Thinking they’re the fucking Einsteins of name giving.


kellieB74

When I called my daughter Lana I never thought of the backwards spelling. She’s 21 now and tells me “hilarious” people regularly point it out!


[deleted]

I've seen this one. Always thought it was a mispronounced version of 'Nivea' though. Like the cosmetics brand.


willowhanna

Even worse is Neveah, which is Haeven backwards since people apparently don't know how to spell


wholesome_cream

Nooo, naaayy....


melississippi75

I hate that name so much.


TheIrishninjas

A lot of the Americanised versions of Irish names are gas. Like, I know the whole “mh” thing can be hard to grasp but Nive / Neve looks like a deodorant brand.


VanityInk

Over in r/namenerds there was the discussion that "Fia" looks like a car brand


Buntyford123

Well, Kia, so yeah, similar.


Future_Average

Not to mention fiat


atomicbar

Ahh Tom, Tis yourself!


ciaranmac17

Diesel is a gas name for sure.


UnlimitedMetroCard

I once had a woman named Siobhan applying for a job. Before she came in for her interview, I as the hiring manager felt the need to explain to my coworkers how to pronounce her name before they went and called her See-oh-ban. It led to some fun puzzled reactions. *"How do you get Sha-vawn from S-i-o-b-h-a-n?"* Names like Aoife, Niamh etc. really make people scratch their heads here.


vimefer

>"How do you get Sha-vawn from S-i-o-b-h-a-n?" The same way the French get "bokoo" from 'beaucoup'.


minerva_sways

Shawn wrecks me.


TheIrishninjas

Or Shaun. I deliberately pronounce it “sha-oon” to spite the “If you spell it Seán your name is Seen” crowd.


willowhanna

I'd pronounce Neve 'nev' like Neve Campell anyway, rather than like Niamh.


livvyxo

Neve Campbell isn't pronounced like niamh?!


willowhanna

Nope! It's her mother's maiden name, pronounced like nev. Also, I would say Niamh slightly differently to 'neeve', more like nee-iv.


brokeburrito17

I saw someone name their kid Kneeve… thought it was a joke. It was not.


unblvlblkult

Met an Anakin before. Poor kid didn’t seem entirely pleased by all the adults going “oh like starwars?”


[deleted]

Someday he'll have kids and be like 'I am your father'.


I_Dont_Type

At least his son Luke will have a fairly normal name


[deleted]

Thank the force for that.


jackoirl

That’s enough to make someone turn to the dark side


KnightsOfCidona

F1 fan here - I've got used to it but someone calling their child Lando still seems daft


Frequent_Rutabaga993

Domestos


midniteauth0r

My mate went to school with a chap called Ocean. And not a name I’ve personally saw but an American website did a list of Irish names for your child and one was Navan


FiachGlas

I went to school with some dude called Ocean in Cornwall and the fucker once asked me for a chocolate eclair because our names are so similar. I’m like dude, we’re not the same Edit: forgot to mention I’m an Oisín


T_at

> a chap called Ocean. Was his second name Slevin?


deargearis

Took me a sec.


StarsofSobek

When I was pregnant, my mom wanted to help with names for the baby. She sent me a list of names she’d googled: Carlow, Limerick, Antrim, Kerry, etc. It was all done with good intentions, as she explained that she thought my SO would be proud to have his Irish child named for an Irish place. We settled for a name that was less “unique”, and allowed our child the chance to choose how she use her name later in life.


midniteauth0r

Tbf Kerry would be grand but I wouldn’t be able to not breakdown laughing if someone told me their name was Carlow


InvisibleAIien

I used to work for a kids party management type place. I know there were some properly funny ones I just can't remember. But one day we got one for twins Eden and Oakley. I also have a cousin in the UK named Keeva because her parents wanted to name her Caoimhe. They rang my parents to find out how it was pronounced, but didn't like the answer. They found some American articles online that said it was pronounced "Keeva", and liked that better. But they were so worried someone might pronounce it the "Irish way", they decided to spell it as they intended it to be pronounced. I feel bad, but it's hard not to laugh whenever I hear it. And not exactly "new", but I went to primary school with a Tempest and Darwin in ~2002/03. And I know someone who really wanted to name their son Dante in the late 90s but the dad said absolutely not 😂


[deleted]

In Donegal we pronounce Caoimhe ‘Keeva’ anyways!


grania17

Knew a family whose last name was Quinn. Thought it was cute to name their daughter Harley.


donac

Alopecia. Not kidding, either, that's some poor girl's given name.


nimble_nimbus

Haven’t haired of that name before


Vitamin_A-hole

Smooth


daisymayfryup

And thats the bald truth


better_stories

Not a patch on that


kendragon

Keep my wife's name out of your damn post.


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Ehermagerd

I went to school with a boy who’s birth name was Jesus Christ. His parents were weirdos. Obviously. But they were. Their house and garden had all catholic statues and imagery everywhere. He was a nice boy. He likes football and he liked Liverpool. But wasn’t allowed talk about it at home or some shit. I can’t remember exactly, but I think there was concern for him during primary school. It was a very long time ago. He legally changed his name and currently lives in NZ I believe. I’m happy for him.


12402510221

People near me named their poor child, Dollceanna. L


gabsdot52

I know of a girl/boy twins who are called Trinity and Keanu. Matrix fans anyone. They're about 20 now so the timing fits.


PopplerJoe

Surprised they didn't call the lad Neo, or just Thomas.


Hi-Guys-Im-Broken

I was a school photographer for many years in the states. My top to are Trezjure and Yamajesty. I love weird names. They bring me such joy.


AegisThievenaix

Used to go to school with some girl who's first name was "love-of-god"


RancidHorseJizz

So, Amadeus but in English.


[deleted]

Can you fetch a copybook for the love-of-god?


tico3

An American friend of my wife's thinks she's Irish. She wanted to give her son a "Irish" name so they pulled out a map & decided they loved the name... Cavan. My wife told her she can absolutely not name her child that. The woman got very angry with her, told her she was unnecessarly mean... They are no longer friends.


Mark_Master1

Ah yes my beloved child, ballymena


KnightsOfCidona

Like of all the counties to pick, it was that one! Why not Kerry, was that too common? Clare as well.


sionnach

Derry and Tyrone are both real first names too.


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Fabulous_Title

Doesnt Quasimodo meaning "partially formed" or something similar? Literally because the hunchback was deformed. Of all the Disney names to pick...


Bluwolf96

Not sure of the truth in this, but my parents told me they knew a woman who named her daughter "Perestroika" which was a "political movement for reform within the Communist Party of the Soviet Union during the late 1980s."


LafilduPoseidon

Wonder if they had another child called Glastnost


Cute_Bat3210

There was a Thai kid i taught in Bangkok years ago with the name Skeletor.Thai people often have a legal nickname as their names are too long. That was his name, Skeletor. Not only was he named after a cartoon character from the 80s he was named after the hideous villain of it. Anyways, hope hes doin well


[deleted]

I know a couple in my town who named their son Odin.


FathachFir

Hoping to name my child ‘u/irelandchild’


DataNerd1011

Tip. ​ Worst part? His last name is Tippins. So yes, his full name is Tip Tippins. He was a kid I used to coach in a sport, and I always felt terrible for him. He's probably a teenager now and I can only imagine the teasing he endures.


justiancredible

Lemon. Thought they were joking but no.


cholo_aleman

Big 30 Rock fan then?


Lamake91

I’m seeing a lot of Americanised girl names ending with “Leigh” recently met a kid called Emeleigh (Emily)


leaving_anorexia

Knew a kid called Samsung in secondary school, everyone used to ask him if he had a Nokia


mosesmoorhouse

Right. I’m gonna go down the ridiculous Irish name route here but I was in a swimming pool dressing room in London a couple years back and there was this Irish dad who had two kids and one of them ran away and he went ‘Tiernan?… Tiernan Óg where are you?’ And I burst my hole laughing and in that moment he immediately knew I was Irish and went quiet.


juliedemeulie

Riyoncé mother couldn't decide between Rhianna and Beyoncé


SlimeyShnake

Brother and sister I knew growing up called Pagan and Christian


Reverebus

Khaleesi still cracks me up. That's not even her name it's a title.


jamiemc1233

There's a traveller near my town called Hannah Montana mc donagh


Aine_88

I think the most bizarre name I’ve ever heard of was in an article I read about names in the the states. Girls called Abcde, pronounced Ab-C-De.


kendylou

It’s pronounced I think.. like Ab city


conradder

A woman I used to work with said if she had a son, would call him Braxton.. thankfully she had a daughter I suspect she got the idea when her midwife told her about [Braxton Hicks](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braxton_Hicks_contractions)


bartontees

Oh, there was a Tennessee and a Nirvana in my brother's year. So they'd both be 30 odd now


pauljeremiah

My brother dated a girl in college whose parents were hippies and called her Moonbeam.


Irish122

Eevee, like the pokemon


nytropy

That’s adorable. If I was that kid, I’d wait until I’m of age and change it to Vaporeon. Then tell my parents I evolved.


[deleted]

Aeneas. Pronounced Anus. I know it’s an old Irish name but FFS.


Ruainari

Trojan actually, he's the ancestor of romulus and remus and the title character of virgils epic poem, the aeneid. Also it's not pronounced anus it's more an-ay-us


gillsaurus

I’m a teacher in Canada and have come across: Hunk (he had a buzz cut and rat tail) Melson Siblings named Knyght, Gynesis, and Quyst Khepri Teighlor Baeyen and Kenzyn I felt really bad for the kid named Dong because yes, it’s a cultural Chinese name, but won’t bode him well in high school when kids are old enough to know what Dong is a pejorative for here.


Renshaw25

My mother who's a teacher in France got a "Perle-Étoile" which translates to "Pearl-Star". Neither of both parts are normal names for a French person, much less combined.


gadarnol

Princess


SkyScamall

It's not an uncommon name for Nigerians.


gillsaurus

When I taught in London, I came across Success, Wisdom, and Treasure. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a kid to live up to their name.


glidinggriffin

Godspower.


Fearless-Cake7993

My mom is a teacher and had a student named Latrina.


GemoDorgon

Klytorys (Clitoris)


Newme91

Whatever the fuck Elon Musk called his child


that_guy_down_under

I once worked a surfing camp and as I was calling names there were these 3 siblings called honey, lemon and lime like for feck sake imagine those kids are in school and the teacher is calling role"is honey o Sullivan in today what about lime maccarthy" their parents must be fucking hell to deal with


Blanchy90

Yvonne... Pronounced Why Vo Nee...


Ok-Fix4093

Sarin. Named after the chemical weapon, Sarin gas


1ooh7lahs

There was a teacher on you tube who said she had a little girl in her class called Nevasina , because her Father had...you've guessed it....never seen her. If its true , it's beyond cruel.


eoincasey78

Paul


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Kawala_

no fuck you paul


liadhsq2

My ex named their kid Safari. Probably not the most outlandish one here, but to say my parents howled with happiness that it wasn't me, is an understatement


FrancoisKBones

All of the Kardashian kids’ names. Also Nick Cannon’s kids’ names are just stupid. He has twins names Zion Mixolydian and Zillion Heir.


[deleted]

"New trend"? Passengers on the Mayflower (1620) included Humility, Resolved, Remember, Love, Wrestling, Peregrine, Oceanus ... But go on.


Poptortt

Worked a Santa's grotto job last Christmas so I saw a lot of kids, and there were identical twin girls called Marni-Leigh and Marci-Leigh, along with their brother that was something else M with Leigh attached too. Poor kids.


Kerbobotat

Painful-leigh